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Searching My Soul	By : snapesgirl1981 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 14674 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
Chapter 18

AN: From this chapter
on I am going to use many plot devices from the sixth Harry Potter
book so please be aware that there will be several huge spoilers for
HBP. If you haven't read the book, either stop reading this story or
accept that you have been warned. From here this story touches darker
matters and is definitely not suited for people who are easily
offended by this. For those of you who care: This will have a happy
ending, as happy as my twisted mind will allow. All complaints should
go to my muse who is solely responsible for the plot line not my mail
box.

The
next morning found Harry brooding over his porridge as he
contemplated how to proceed. He wanted to kick his own ass several
times for not having gone through with fucking Snape senseless. How
could he explain to the potions Master that he never had any sexual
contact with a boy or a girl and that he was afraid of disappointing
him? Slowly he sank his spoon into the porridge and stirred several
times.

A soft
sigh escaped his mouth as he used one arm to steady his chin and the
other to swirl the porridge some more. He missed Hermione casting a
concerned look to Ron and he missed the redhead's alarmed face when a
shadow fell over the table.

"Potter."
Snape's voice was cold and flat.

Instantly
Harry raised his head and slowly turned around to meet the teacher's
chilling glare.

Snape
handed him a parchment and instantly stalked out of the hall, no
doubt to disappear into the dungeons. Confused Harry unfolded the
parchment and instantly recognized Dumbledore's writing.

Harry,

I was very pleased to
hear you wanted to continue your occlumency lessons. The first will
be tonight at 7 pm in Professor Snape's office.

Professor Dumbledore

As
Harry looked up from the writing he found his two best friends
watching him with worried expressions. It was Hermione who gently
touched his shoulder.

"Harry,
what's wrong?"

"Nothing."
He smiled shortly and then get up. "I meet you guys later."

Ron
let his eyes follow Harry out of the hall and frowned. "I think
we really missed something."

Hermione
huffed. "Guys."

The
evening found Harry in the dungeons waiting in front of Snape's
office. He had knocked several times but obviously Snape was not
inside. He slumped down to the ground and tried to decide what to do.
The sensible thing to do would be go back to the common room but in
the last weeks not many things he did could be called the sensible
thing. So he rested his forehead on his drawn knees and waited.

Snape
hurried down the corridor silently cursing the meddling old fool for
interfering in his life again. If only he knew that he was basically
trying his restraint to a point where Snape was not sure he could
keep it. The anger from last night had slowly left him and he had a
night full of erotic dreams featuring a green eyed boy.

He
slowed his steps when he saw a figure sitting on the cold dungeon
floor, the face momentarily hidden. Instinctively his hand reached
for his wand but then he caught a slight lemon aroma and he relaxed.
It must be Harry, so why the boy had not returned to his dorm was
beyond him.

When
he got closer Harry raised his head and for a moment the green eyes
stared at Snape. Then he was on his feet.

"Potter,
what are you doing here?"

Harry
frowned. "I am here for occlumency lessons, Sir."

Snape
sneered. "Of course." He brushed past Harry and gently
tapped his wand to the door. Without looking back he stalked into his
office lighting the fireplace with a casual wave of his wand. He
swirled around taking in Harry's form in front of the closed door.

"Legillimens."

His
mind dived into the boy's unprotected thoughts delving through the
memories in search of something he could taunt the boy with. Images
of a chubby boy stuffing his face with cake, a little crowded room
with Harry on a mattress reading in of his school books, Harry in his
dorm frantically pumping his cock, Harry in front of a window that
looked suspiciously like the one he stayed in during his time in
London his head thrown back in ecstasy.

Snape
broke the connection and in this moment Harry attacked him with his
bare hands, knocking him to the floor and the boy's soft lips on his,
his tongue darting into his mouth, his hips grinding into Snape's. He
felt Harry's hard cock pressing into his groin and a moan escaped his
mouth.

Regaining
control Snape used his superior strength to flip the boy on his back
and pressed his forehead to the boy's, his onyx eyes boring into
breathless green ones.

"What
do you think you are doing?"

Instead
of answering Harry opened a button of Snape's robes and quickly
licked the first bit of exposed skin. "Apologizing", he
mumbled in between licks and nibs.

Snape
forcefully pushed Harry away and got up. "If you want to truly
make up for last night, I will set out the rules." He sat down
in his chair behind his desk and waited. Instantly Harry crawled to
him and his green eyes burned in the semi darkness.

"I
do everything, Sir."

Snape
sneered. "We'll see about that Mr Potter." He undid his
trousers and his half erect cock sprang free. It took mere seconds
until Harry put his lips around the hard flesh and began to suck
slowly. The potions Master led his head fall back and could not
prevent a moan from slipping out of his mouth. The tight wetness
around his cock, the rhythmic suction and the eager tongue were
making it hard to stay in control.

He
felt his balls tighten up and knew he was close, so very close. Then
his mind stopped working when he lost control and felt his cock spurt
into the boy's mouth.

Slowly
the tension left his body and he lingered with his head on the back
of his chair, his eyes fluttering open and closed. Thinking would
only lead to places he rather preferred not to go. In all his years
since he had crawled to Albus Dumbledore with shame and guilt almost
choking him, the man had asked him to sacrifice way too many parts of
his life. But tonight for the first time he had put up a fight.

He
felt the boy at his feet, his head on his lap with the soft gasps of
breath tickling his balls. Once again he had used the boy to relieve
himself of frustrations. These days he sometimes wondered why he
bothered to go on, playing a puppet on a string for Dumbledore and
Riddle. It felt good to finally feel in control, to finally make up
the rules of this game.

Tonight
when he had reported to the headmaster what he had agreed to during
the summer, Dumbledore had asked the impossible of him and he had
nodded not feeling able to say a fucking word about it. He had sealed
his fate earlier in the headmaster's office with a cup of tea in his
hands and he knew the time he had left with Harry was short.

His
hand gripped the bushy mop of hairs at his knees and to his
satisfaction he felt the boy relax. There was so much left to teach
the boy and so little time to do it. The time for playing games had
ended and if he wanted to make sure the-boy-who-lived would one day
rid the world of the evil that was Voldemort, he had to form him into
the warrior he had to become. Albus had made it clear today that he
trusted Snape with that and it was his responsibility.

He
sneered.

Of
course, if he was to be the traitor why not go the whole way? Pity
that it would be once again Harry Potter who would end up being lost
not one step closer to the truth. He tried to tell himself that he
did not care but in his heart he knew it was a lie. He was trapped in
this as much as the little boy was and they could both only play
their parts. These were the rules of the game they played.

This might be confusing
right now but it might help you to remember the events in HBP and go
from there. I am trying to include what we know about the sixth year
and twist it to my story line. My muse finally decided where we go
with this plot line. The lemon part in this chapter was included for
all you who complained about lack of that.

And to answer a
question being asked several times: Yes I am aware that chapter 8 is
not complete, I have no idea what happened to it. I need to rewrite
it because I no longer have the original version. I will do that soon
and in the meantime you can guess what happened from remarks in
chapter 9- Snape was attacked with a poisoned knife and apparated
back to Grimmauld Place where Harry used a potion to cure him.

Thanks for the many
reviews, you have no idea how much they help.

If somebody wants to
play my spelling and grammar beta, feel free to mail me at
emkolbe(at)lycos.com. All you get in return is my eternal gratitude,
a occasional pat on the head and the right to read my chapter before
anybody else reads them.
- 17
- 18
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Searching My Soul