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Making sure the boy who lives, actually does...	By : h0lden Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 9115 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 19: The Potions master�s decision�

Thundering applause sounded around them as Hermione's blood drained from her face at Ron's words. She felt the pain of the impact; she knew that the words Ron had spoken had just ruined something so fragile. Slowly her dark eyes rose to the Head table where she saw that Snape was now conveniently absent.

Oh God no...

There were shouted acclimations from all tables save for Slytherin, even the Professors were clapping and beaming at them. Hermione herself couldn't have been less elated about anything in her entire life. Seeing that Severus was now gone was only making the blow more piercing.

Ron stood beside her at the table, beaming down at her and blushing modestly. She felt her temper rising at his gall, his mere misconstrued assumptions. Here he was, clapping along with the rest of them, trying to guilt her into some ruddy marriage! Hermione, finding the motto; 'no time like the present' to be quite applicable in this context suddenly stood, grasped by tby the arm and started to pull him out of the Great Hall.

"What are you-" Ron started, looking at Hermione in surprise. He surely hadn't been expecting this from her.

"Shut your mouth this instant." Hermione hissed, her eyes intently focused upon the door to the Hall. Her cheeks were flaming and her stomach was churning with despair and internal fury. She was almost seeing red she was so enraged, and Ron's seemingly aloof demeanor was only adding to her fury.

If you have buggered up my chance with Severus, Ron Weasley... Hermione's mind raced, her nostrils flaring. I swear on my life, I will hand you over to the Dementors the first chance I get.

Professors and students alike watched in mute confusion, their clapping diminishing rapidly as Hermione Granger, the normally reserved young woman -save for the Trelawny and Draco incidents- literally dragged her groom to be out the Great Hall doors without so much as a word to anyone.

"That's quite...odd." Minerva said absently to herself, watching the two make their way from the peering gazes. She looked over to ask Severus what he made of this whole ordeal to find him gone, and his dinner untouched. She said nothing, but something about his timing unsettled her to say the least.

When Hermione and Ron were safely out of earshot and sight, Hermione tossed Ron's arm from her grasp, panting in anger and glaring openly at him.

"What's wrong with you Hermione?" Ron said infuriated, brushing the dust from his robes absently. "This sort of stuff is not going to fly when we're married-" Before he could offer one more word, Hermione was already starting into her infuriated tirade.

"I swear Ronald Weasley, half the time I don't know what's going on in that mind of yours." she screeched, doing what Ron believed to be a fairly well done impression of his mother. "What part in my 'Ron I don't think I can marry you' speech indicated that I still wanted to marry you? Have you no sense at all?"

Ron looked to the ground silently, the tips of his ears turning an ugly shade of pink. It was a few moments of uncomfortable silence until he chose to face her, and in turn to finish what he had started in the Great Hall.

"I know that you love me." he stated simply, not giving her a chance to disagree. "But lately things have been troubling you...I don't know what, but I want to know. I have a right as your fianc� now."

Hermione gaped a full moment before wrinkling her nose and shaking her head briefly. "Are you saying that you only told everyone about our engagement so you could use it as some negotiating tool? Are you bloody well mad? It wouldn't matter if we were married or not Ron, if you were my Mother and Father combined...if I chose not to tell you something, it was for good reason. Guilting me into some sort of arrangement is no way to behave."

Ron frowned deeply, his freckled cheeks growing spotted with a faint blush. Seems he was coming to realize that using guilt to get Hermione into confessing something was not the right way to go, but he'd been so worried at the prospect at losing her...this had seemed the only way.

He looked to Hermione then, his light eyes unwavering on her own as she shook her head at him in disgust. She was beyond repulsed at his childish actions tonight, and if this was any indication as to what he would be like as a husband, she had made the right decision before.

"I will never marry you Ron Weasley." Hermione shouted, pulling the chain from her neck forcefully, snapping it instantly and tossing the ring and chain to the floor, the small tinkling sound the only thing heard before she finished with a low:

"What you did tonight was unforgivable."

Ron suddenly drew nearer, the determination showing clearly in his eyes. "You said yes before." he demanded loudly, ignoring the rolling of Hermione's eyes. She let out a lifeless chuckle before lowering her head into her hands a moment, trying to calm herself before jolting her head back up to meet his eyes.

"I said nothing of the sort Ron." Hermione said huffily, giving him a disapproving look. "And now since you can't seem to take subtle and not so subtle hints, the answer is: No. I don't ever want to marry you...Not now, not tomorrow, not EVER!"

"I can see you're upset." Ron delegated, looking rather worried now as Hermione grew more and more irritated. "You just need some time to think things over."

"No Ron." Hermione moaned exasperatedly. "This ends here. Now. Tonight."

Suddenly feeling a wash of pity overtake her, she bent over to retrieve the ring and chain she'd been wearing. Bringing herself up she saw the glossy look to Ron's eyes and the determined set of his jaw.

"Don't do this to yourself Ron." Hermione said softly, coming over to him slowly, her own eyes becoming blurry. "You don't want to marry me. You deserve someone who is so in love with you she can barely stand to be apart from you...someone who doesn't kiss you because of obligation...someone....that's not me."

With that, Hermione took his hand in hers and slipped the chain and ring into his palm, closing it into a fist for him. He looked down at it briefly before slowly focusing on her face once more, into the eyes that he thought he'd known. How foolish he'd been...she wasn't the same at all.

"Tell me the truth." he said hoarsely, clearing his throat briefly. "Who is he?"

Hermione took a deep breath, closing her eyes a scant moment before opening them to see him still awaiting an answer eagerly. Her stomach dropped, and she actually felt her body flipping as she spoke, knowing there was no going back now. "Ron, I am in love with someone else."

Ron said nothing, his eyes showing that he'd known all along. He nodded solemnly, ignoring the heartache enveloping him from the inside. Didn't she see what she was doing to him? Were all those kisses wasted on her? He thought tsheshe'd been special, that she'd felt the same way. She'd deceived him.

"But, it's not like you think..." Hermione said softly, seeing his inner turmoil. "He doesn't care for me. I thought I could perhaps make him...but I couldn't...I can't. It really is foolish of me...but I refuse to marry you just to forget him. It's not fair to either of us."

"Who is he?" Ron said stonily, his face emotionless. It didn't matter that Hermione was heartbroken as well, all Ron could feel was the current exploding shatter of his heart inside his body.

"It doesn't make a difference." Hermione objected, shaking her head and holding back a ragged sob. She thinned her lips, looking away from Ron the best she could, refusing to let him see her crying.

"I deserve to know."

Hermione said nothing, her eyes still trained on the floor. She let a small gust of wind make its way between her lips before she raised her face up, looking to Ron disheartened. "You know that expression 'He loves me, he just doesn't know it yet'?"

"I think I've heard it." Ron said curiously, giving her a confused glance. "Why?"

"Well," Hermione said with an airy shrug, a whisper of a smirk playing about her features. "This is about the only time I can say it actually makes sense."

"That doesn't tell me much." Ron sulked, giving her a betrayed look. Hermione smiled softly as she came over to him, wrapping him in a slight embrace before pulling away to look into his face.

"I know Ron."

He was silent a while, knowing that what she said next was ending the entire thing and that he had to accept it.

"But I've made my decision."

**

Snape stood looking at the bubbling cauldron in disdain. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, and his blood was positively pulsating with red hot, feverish anger. He couldn't even think of the annoying Head Girl without clenching his teeth and hands, and sneering to no one in particular.

How stupid he'd been. Of course she would have gone to Weasley...he'd driven her into the stupid boy's arms! He'd been cruel and aloof, catering to his own stubborn idiocy when all she's tried to do was appease him, to confess to him...to love him?

No. If she could willingly go along with Weasley in some marriage she certainly wasn't mending that broken a heart. Foolish of him to think that they'd been fated. Whe die didn't even believe in such nonsense.

Snape agreed internally with this, going back to stirring the familiar concoction. Five minutes and it would be ready. Still, he wasn't satisfied with his conclusion. He thought that they had shared something in the Great Hall, in just one singular non-verbal share. This one look that had send his stomach bottoming to his toes. One that made him want to soe sce school, rush over to her and whip her up into his arms.

"Oh for God's sake." Snape mumbled irritably, shaking his head incredulously at the sudden romantic thought. "That stupid girl has my mind all buggered up. She's bloody well infested it. She'll have me wanting to show up on a white horse next."

Still, Snape couldn't help but wonder idly what could have been. He was still pondering over the thought when there was a small, faint tapping at his door. He immediately felt himself go tense all over, for he knew precisely whose knock it was. Ever so slowly he lowered the mixing spoon onto the table, coating it in magic to prevent any accidents.

Soon he was at the still closed door, looking at it as if puzzled. In a matter of ways he was, but for the most part he was just confused as to what he would or could say to Hermione. He was her teacher after all, not just some old flame with a jealous streak. They -as in his present and her present- had never really been intimate, and in a practical point of view their relationship was the same as it had ever been. Professor and pupil.

And that was how it should be. He wasn't in love with her anyway. Far from it. Yes, he had been intrigued at their life together, but then again who wouldn't be? This bloody mingling in the future was useless, and now fully understood why Albus was so against it. No more silly emotional thoughts, no more seeking out answers to unasked questions.

No more pining for Hermione Granger.

If she wanted Weasley, she could have him for all he cared. She was a waste of his time, and this pseudo-romantic thing was becoming a bother as well as a bore. He felt no real sentiment for her at this time, and knew that he was making the right decision. Even if by some cosmic way she said that their engagement was a falsehood or whatever else, and confessed that she did love him...he would bid her farewell.

Their relationship would most undoubtedly not pass the eternal test of time. Not only that, but he was fairly certain the moment she walked out the door, she had locked herself out from him. That was fine.

So the question was, how was he supposed to act? Surely he could be his usual biting self, but would that appear far too jealous in nature? Was he to be lenient, even aloof of the situation? Or would that only prove to show that he was going soft in his years? In the end Snape was sure of two things; He had no idea of how to act, and he was angry.

Resolutely he swung open the door, revealing a very twitchy Hermione Granger. She stood outside the door in her school clothes, her large robe missing. It was on the tip of his tongue to remind her that she needed her robes, when he realized it wasn't a necessity. If he irked her about it, he'd seem needlessly cruel. What a tangled web...

"What do you want?"

That seemed to be his signature greeting, and so Hermione took this in stride. Bottling all the courage she could, she nodded her head slightly, giving him a soft smile. "Hello sir."

"I'll say it again," Snape said stonily, his hooded eyes appearing almost black now. "What do you want?"

Hermione felt her strength and prior courage leave her as she watched the emotionless face of Snape spit out the words at her. She surely hadn't been expecting any sort of romantic price, or even a high in spirits Professor. But she hadn't been expecting him like this...why would he care? He had made his feelings quite announced.

"I'm here..." Hermione trailed off, her mind already spinning with a thousand different fabrications. In truth she had come to see what Snape had been thinking tonight. Why he had left in the first place. It was in that conversation that she would subtly slip in her affection for him. But now, she could tell nothing of the sort was going to happen.

"I'm here because I wanted to know when we could go back to help Harry." Hermione said primly, playing Snape's game momentarily. "I mean, when do you think the potion would be ready?"

"I know that the potion will be ready in a matter of moments."

His lips were stretched thin into a displease line, as if leaving them stoic would make him victim to showing emotions he didn't want to reveal. His arms were crossed, and his eyes were boring down on her. She felt every fiber of her shaking with fear along with something unnamable. How strange to be so terrified, and so elated at the same time.

"Well sir," Hermione went on, her cheeks becoming flushed with minor embarrassment. "Are we to go back tonight?"

Snape was silent a long time, just watching her face as she awaited his decision. Rosy cheeks, dark brown eyes, hair that seemed to perpetually rest all over her face. Lips that seemed constantly pursed in question. Hermione was fairly good about the scrutiny, only smoothing her hair a bit during the entire transition. Snape on the other hand was still perturbed. How had this....plain Jane girl done this to him? It was her mind, that was for certain. She had been his intellectual match at fifteen, and it pained him to admit it. Although she was what he would forever refer to as 'book smart' she knew a bit about the world.

But now, watching her nervously sneaking looks at him through a curtain of dark fringe, Snape felt his anger growing, knowing that he had never meant that much to her. That he had put such stock into a girl that had wishy-washy feelings for him. Still, he had a duty to the school students and Headmaster, and wasn't about to let some little girl with a crush ruin things.

"I wasn't planning on it." Snape finally said flintily, his dark eyes consuming her. "But since it is a matter of great severity, I will allow it."

Hermione nodded, watching as Snape whipped from her to go to the side of the potion. She stood still at the door a few feet away, not daring to say a word or even breathe to loudly, for fear that he would roar at her. So instead of talking, she watched him. She watched him move around the cauldron, grasping various objects and throwing them into the mix, stirring on occasion and never meeting her eyes.

Hermione though was enraptured just watching him, finding herself growing aroused against all her inner wishes. She hadn't come down to jump Professor Snape, why the entire idea was preposterous! She had merely come down to tell him that she and Ron weren't engaged, and now she was getting beyond flushed.

Damn damn damn....

Hermione was fairly naive in the ways of sex, evidently for she had only recently become aware of her own needs and desires. She had Severus Jr. to blame for that, and in some ways she resented him for it...but for the most part wanted to thank him. So had been the cause of dragging Ron into her room, she had wanted to gain the experience. She had needed to see what was so fantastic about it, and along the way she had hoped to force Snape out of the picture. But of course, this had not occurred.

But now watching Snape with his ingredients, those tapered fingers screwing off lids and adding dashes of ingredients was turning her on against her will. She squirmed where she stood, ignoring the questioning look in Snape's eyes. She supposed it was because he was so rough and mean, and that she knew somehow she'd conquered that in the future. Maybe that's what made her think that Snape could forgive her easily...more easily than thought.

Poor girl.

I'll just tell him. I'll just tell him and it'll be over and done with. We can go from there.

"I'm also here...for another reason sir."

"Come to gloat of your engagement?" Snape bit off bitterly, refusing to turn around to face Hermione. Imagine, getting jealous over a student! The mere thought of it was almost laughable.

"Well you can save your breath. I heard all about it during dinner."

Hermione felt her body growing cold with realization, for evidently Snape was convinced that she was in love with Ron. Not only that, but he appeared to be jealous! Now, whilst this thought was completely squeal worthy -for it was Snape for goodness sake!- she was also duly aware of the need to rectify his misguided notions.

Coming over to him she stood across from the cauldron, looking to Snape evenly until he looked up himself, assaulted by her gaze. He sighed deeply, looking away from her once more.

"Move away from the cauldron Granger." he snapped, looking everywhere but her. "You know better than to stand that close."

Hermione moved back as if she'd been burned. She was very torn, she wanted to tell Snape the truth but the sadistic part in her wanted him to feel just as horrible as he'd made her feel these past few days.

She watched his neutral face, the cauldron's color reflecting in his dark eyes. She saw the sorrow imprinted upon these eyes and felt her heart thumping painfully in her chest. So this was what love was. She'd said it a thousand times, to her family, friends and even once to Severus as a youngster. But now, watching his eyes and being this close to him, she finally understood what it meant.

"There is no engagement." Hermione finally began lightly, her eyes dropping to the mass of jelly in the cauldron. She desperately wanted to call him Severus, but stopped herself. He had lowered the spoon onto the table, nodding to himself and then going to the back of the storage room.

She idly wondered if he was crying, and began to go to him when he reappeared a moment later, two goblets in his hand. He placed them on the table by the cauldron, and still silently continued on with his task. Herm wat watched in mute shock a moment, looking to him incredulously as he ignored her.

"Ron, he made it all up." Hermione went on nervously. "I told him I didn't want to marry him. I told him.....well, he made it all up at dinner. I dragged him outside, I told him that I could never marry him. I told him-"

Hermione stopped herself, watching as Snape nodded as if he were a Professor trying to be patient with a bothersome student. How close to the truth that was. Idly he placed a wolf's tooth into the mix, watching it sizzle. He was uncomfortable, unsettled at her words but refused to show it. Even if this girl confessed her feelings, he was far too bitter about the events leading up to it. He'd been through far too much to garner much hope for this nonexistent relationship.

"Aren't you-" Hermione started, looking to him as if he were mad. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Snape lazily looked to her, a look of confusion crossing his face. He raised a dark brow of surprise, giving her a patronizing once over before resuming his scooping of the potion from the cauldron.

"What do you want me to say, Miss Granger?" Snape said coolly, raising a beaker to the spoon. He dripped a bit into the beaker, shaking it a moment before pouring the refined and toxic free potion into a large goblet.

"Stop calling me 'Miss Granger'." Hermione insisted, her eyes filling with angry tears. She was trembling with confusion and anger, her dark eyes becoming glossy. Snape refused to listen to her, finding that his potion was far too involving.

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Snape said icily, pouring the remainder into the other goblet. He raised his head and hand, handing the goblet over to her slowly. He watched her contorted features in mild bemusement. He had to admit, getting a rise out of her was amusing. He felt almost vindicated. The cynical side of him didn't believe her engagement story for a moment. She was toying with him.

"Drink up, Miss Granger."

"Just stop it!" Hermione bellowed, smacking the goblet out of his hand. It made a hollow, tinny sound as it hit the ground but Hermione barely heard it. She was panting through her teeth, glaring at Snape with fury welling within her. "I can't believe you!"

"Nor can I believe you." Snape retorted irritably, looking to her with a look of such severity that Hermione actually gaped. "If you wish to save Potter, Miss Granger, I advise that you stop acting like a temperamental child. I shall pour you another glass but that is all. If you insist on acting in such a manner, I shall take the risk and travel back myself."

Hermione fell silent, looking to Snape with hidden detest. She watched as he made her a new glass, holding it out to her with detachment. He was sure that their fingertips didn't brush this time, and was interested to note that she looked almost disappointed.

"Alright." Snape said dimly, raising his own glass at eye level for inspection. "I've changed the time to nine o'clock the night of the dance. This should be about the time Lucius slipped the potion into the punch. You shall retrieve a sample of it. Do you have your vial?"

"Yes sir."

"You remember the rules, Miss Granger?"

"Yes sir." Hermione said darkly, refusing to show her sudden hatred for him. She felt betrayed, and hurt. She didn't know why, but she had been certain that he'd care. That he'd understand what happened and that he'd...understand. She refused to look at him, her lower lip trembling.

"Fine." Snape said with a brusque nod, raising the glass to his lips. Hermione looked to Professor Snape out of the corner of her eye as she raised the glass to her lips. She was irritated, that was for certain...she wanted him to stop being so stubborn. She wanted him to listen to her. Everything proved that they were meant to end up together, and now Ron had buggered everything up.

A string of hope went on within her then, a hope that whispered Severus. At this inner admonition Hermione felt her heart soaring. She would be going back to Severus...her Severus. It was strange, but she didn't even think of them as the same man. It was if she saw Severus as almost a completely different entity that Professor Snape. Strange to think that they were one in the same.

"Now." Snape insisted, downing his glass in one gulp. He watched as Hermione did the same, swaying slightly on her feet. She stayed up for the most part, refusing to need Snape's assistance. She moved from him, not wanting to be so close to him, for she had a plan when she awakened in the past. A plan that would not go over well, should Professor Snape learn of it.

I don't need him. she thought blearily, knowing that what she was thinking didn't make sense. She still swayed, feeling a turning at her feet, as if she was fantastically spinning around the room. I just need Severus...

She looked to Professor Snape in her dizzy flurry, seeing the sudden worry that had encompassed his features. Not that she cared. As she slipped into the familiar darkness of time travel -or was it fainting?- Hermione had only one, small, comforting thought on her mind.

I just need Severus...

_________________________________________

Author's notes: Well, a lot of people wanted young Severus back, and admittedly, I love writing him. So of course, how could I say no? I hope this isn't too bad a cliffhanger, I think it's tolerable. *grin* Thanks again for all the reviews, I love them dearly and hope to hear from more of you. I live for the feedback. Thanks again, cheers. holden.

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Making sure the boy who lives, actually does...