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Trading Places	By : snippyandsnarky Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 18385 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
TITLE: Trading Spaces 18/?
RATING: R (slash warning m/m)
PAIRING: HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship)
A/N: We will be updating every two weeks, possibly with more than one installment,
depending on fate and life. Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
SUMMARY: What do you call a cross between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin? A prefect!
Don't worry, it's not "what would happen if he had been sorted into . . ." Dumbledore
works in mysterious ways as Voldemort grows in power and daring. Other than that?
Shippyness, Snogging, Shagging, Snippy and Snarky! Trust me, it'll all make sense in a
little while.
GRATUITIES:
We just wanted to thank the many of you that have reviewed our story, we love
you *all* so much. Please forgive us for not addressing each of your reviews as whoulhould, but we felt it was more important to the get the story updated *already*! The
snakes have been making fun of us mersslyssly for taking so long.

Snippy: Yeah, stupid authors! No, we can't finish that chapter - we have to work, we
have to eat, we have to sleep!

Snarky: Nevermind all the reviewers who expected this to be updated SIX MONTHS
ago!

Authors: <wince> Sorry, guys! Hope you like the update. <ducks water balloons of
blue potion>

Snippy: And that potion was *not* going to make your breath smell minty fresh!

Snarky: Thee, thee, thee . . .

****************************************************************************************************

Draco followed Harry up to his bedchamber, his mind reeling from the events of
the past half hour. He jolted at a sharp sound behind him, spinning around, but it was
only Harry, leaning past him to close the door and lock it.
"I have a personal bathing chamber, if you would like to use it," Harry offered,
waiting for the snide reply about trying to get Draco naked. It didn't come. Instead,
Draco wearily nodded his head and walked toward the door Harry had indicated. "Let
me know if you need any help, Malfoy."
Just when Harry though that Draco would ignore that comment as well, the
blond turned around with a hint of his normal smirk and drawled, "You could at least
call me 'Draco' while offering to shower with me."
Harry opened his mouth to reply, but wasn't sure how to respond. Draco
disappeared behind the door. Harry shrugged and stepped over to his bed, feeling
anxious. A smallish red volume lay on his bedspread. Curious, he picked it up. Then
he frowned. "Alright, Voldemort. If you preserved your *17* year old self in here, so
help me, I will lock you in a trunk with "The Blackest Magic Ever" for the rest of
eternity!"
When nothing glowed or shook or started to speak to him, he felt it was safe to
open the book. Scrawled elegantly on the first page were the words, "Draco Malfoy, A
History". Bemused, Harry flipped another page, scanning it quickly. He looked up at
the bathroom door, hearing running water. He had plenty of time for a page or two.
Smiling, he stretched out on his bed and began to read.

**********
Snarky slid across the floor, a tiny cowboy hat on his head. "And I'm the real
McCoy, and I'm headed out West, sucker, cuz -"
"I wanna be a cowboy, baby . . ." Snippy curled his tail into a lasso and twirled it
above his head. "With the top let back and the sunshine shinin'."
"Cowboy, baby." Snarky head nodding in beat to the song. They had just
finished watching two hours of M.T.V. with Troy and Oliver and were on another
candy stealing mission to Dedoredore's office.
"Hey, Ssssnarky . . . is that Haze?" Snippy nodded up ahead to where the little
furry creature was sitting slumped at the bottom of Dumbledore's staircase. As they
watched, he sniffed and wiped a tear away with the back of one paw.
"Haze, my man. S'up?" Snarky circled around to the other side of the badger.
Hazelheart looked up with damp eyes, and sniffed pitifully again.
"Did the Book steal your Doritos again? Do you want usss to bite him?" Snippy
offered, stilbbinbbing his head to the song they had been singing. Well, hissing.
Haze slowly shook his head. "No. I'm a bad badger."
"And the whole world has to answer right now, just to tell you once again - "
Snippy slithered backwards in his best impression of a moonwalk.
"Who's bad!" Snarky finished, breaking into a raspy, "Thee, thee, thee . . ."
"Though, not in a molestation sort of way." Snippy amended.
Hazel offered them a watery smile. "No, I'm really, really bad. I think I just got
Hermione in trouble with Professor Dumbledore."
"Really?" The snakes scented blood in the water. "How?"
"Well, she was hanging out with me, and I was just trying to get her to relax.
And then, I thought she was fine, because she headed off to the kitchen to get a snack.
And I was about to join her when," he paused to sniff again. "I heard Dumbledore
yelling and then they all swept past me towards his office. I tried to follow them in, but
he closed the door in my face! It hit my nose." He stopped to think for a moment. "It
hurt." He started crying again.
"Dumbledore yells?" Snippy asked.
"He shut the door on you?"
"Not Dumbledore. Snape."
"Ewww . . . Ssssnape." Snarky hissed. Then, thoughtfully, "Want uss to go
check it out for you? Make sure everything's ok?"
"You would do that? For me?"
Snippy and Snarky exchanged a look. A chance at first-hand scandal?
Suspension of a Prefect? Expulsion? The firing of a professor? First class gossip?
Snippy's eyes gleamed. "Of coursssse. For you?"
Snarky smiled, "Anything."
***********
Draco leaned his head against the shower wall, letting the hot spray ease the
soreness in his body. He let his breath out in a slow hiss, murmuring curses.
Vulnerability was the last thing he had wanted to show Harry tonight, the last thing he
had wanted to feel tonight. He had felt so powerful, when he was walking down the
hallway, and his father had brought that feeling crashing down around his ears. Draco
tipped his head back, letting the spray hit his face for a few minutes before reaching
behind himself to turn the water off.
Wrapping a towel around his waist, he stepped in front of the mirror and ran his
fingers through his damp hair. He started to call out to Harry and ask him if he had a
comb, but picturing the wild shock of black hair that had become trademark of Potter's
appearance, decided that it would be pointless. Harry could not possibly own a brush
of any kind. With a resigned sigh, Draco stepped out of the bathroom into the
bedchamber. Harry lay across his bed, reading something. Draco stepped closer, trying
to get a good look at the volume in front of Harry, but the former Gryffindor quickly
shut the book and whisked it under a pillow.
Turning to lay on his side, Harry regarded Draco with a raised brow, face
propped up on one hand. "Feel better?"
"Much, actually." Draco answered, though he felt as tired as he had ever been in
his young life. "What were you reading?"
"Novel." Harry answered vaguely, an odd blush tinting his face.
Draco regarded him from raised eyebrows for a moment, before shrugging off
the question. He would wait until Potter was asleep to discover what volume he kept
under his pillow. "So, Hero. I have a favor to ask you."
"Yes?" Harry purred in tone more suited to his Slytherin adversary than himself.
"Don't get too excited. I just wanted to borrow something to sleep in." Draco
drawled mockingly, fighting the shiver from Harry's lowered voice.
Harry sat up on the edge of the bed, wordlessly handing him a stack of clothing
including a fresh uniform, set of robes, pajama pants, a robe, and on top of the pile, a
pair of boxers with snakes on them.
"How did you - where did you get . . . " Draco stared down at his clothes.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Malfoy," Harry smirked. "I asked Dobby to
bring them to me."
"You've stooped to a new level, Potter. Having house elves steal people's
underwear." Draco took the clothes from him.
"I'm surprised you wear underwear," Harry shot back.
"Not always." Draco met Harry's eyes as he removed his towel to dress. Harry
tried not to blush, and while he refused to turn around, he did stare up at the ceiling.
Draco's smirk was decidedly more polished and wicked than Harry's had been.
"Done with the strip show?" Harry asked once Draco was clothed once more.
The blond didn't answer. Instead he stepped forward until he stood between Harry's
knees next to the bed. Harry was forced to look up to meet his eyes.
Draco smirked at him. "So, Hero, which side of the bed do you prefer, inside or
out?"

*********
The torches on the walls sputtered and sparked as they cast shadowy shapes on
the walls. Severus numbly walked down the corridor behind Dumbledore. Hermione
was at his side and she kept glancing at him, her eyes beseeching but he refused to meet
her gaze. Severus was busily contemplating what he would say to Dumbledore,
searching for a way to adequately explain the madness that was his relationship with
Hermione. Glancing at the object of his musings, the corner of his mouth twitched. She
had a very serious expression on her wide-eyed face, as if she were attempting to look
completely sober. She peeked over at him, finally meeting his eyes, her lower lip
beginning to tremble at the displeasure clearly displayed on his countenance. He
offered her a flash of an encouraging smile, and she seemed to brace herself with it.
"Fizzing Whizbee!" Dumbledore snapped, and quickly they ascended to his
office. Once inside, he gestured to two chairs in front of his desk. "Have a seat."
Hermione automatically sat down, but Snape stood mulishly behind her chair,
arms crossed over his chest. "I'll stand."
Dumbledore sat at his desk, peering at them without the customary twinkle in
his eyes. Long moments of silence stretched out before them. It was clear that he was
awaiting explanation, and none was forthcoming. Hermione fidgeted in her seat,
resisting the urge to look back at Severus.
"Professor Snape, can you give me an explanation?"
Snape's lips were pressed tight together.
"I see." Dumbledore turned his gaze on Hermione. "Perhaps you would like to
comment?"
"Leave her out of this," Snape said quietly. "It's not her fault."
"Obviously." Dumbledore continued to regard the two of them. "Then, Miss
Granger, I think you should return to your rooms."
Hermione's lower lip started to tremble. She had never heard such a
disapproving tone directed at her in her life, not even from Professor McGonagall when
she had been caught at Hagrid's in her first year after curfew. "I'm s-sorry - "
"Don't. Don't apologize." Snape instructed her. "*You* have done nothing
wrong."
"Then neither have you." She insisted, stubbornly.
"I do believe I am going to have to question that statement, Miss Granger,"
Dumbledore said sternly, but not unkindly. Then he flicked his wand at her, and
abruptly, she was back in her room. Without thinking, she ran to the door, and found
herself locked in. A note appeared.
'Miss Granger,
Please do not worry. You will not be held solely responsible for your actions this
evening. I understand what a great burden has been placed on your young shoulders. And do
not concern yourself with the welfare of Professor Snape. Please remember that your
Headmaster is neither rash nor hasty.
~Albus Dumbledore'
But what did that mean? That he wouldn't fire Snape? Or that he wouldn't do it
tonight? She chewed her lower lip, feeling exhausted and wound at the same time. She
tried the door again. Still locked tight. Hermione sighed, before grabbing her robe and
a couple of towels. She wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, and she obviously was not
getting out of her room. She would take a bath, put her faith in Dumbledore, as she
always had, and try to get some sleep.
Hermione shook her head. "Seducing the Potions Master shouldn't be this
hard."
**********
"Do sit down, Severus. Your glaring and standing about are rather tiresome at
this late hour, and the effect is quite lost on me." Dumbledore said wearily. The old
man waved his wand producing a steaming pot of coffee and clean cup. "And help
yourself to a cuppa while you're at it."
Snape considered for a moment. But he actually was tired of standing, and he
was perfectly capable of scowling while sitting down. Not to mention, while the
adrenaline had gone far to clear his head, he was not completely sober yet, and the
coffee would probably help matters. As he poured, he idly wondered if he was about to
get fired.
"Yes, Severus. That is a distinct possibility."
Snape scowled, as he took his seat, purposefully lounging in the chair in an
indolent manner reminiscent of his favorite student.
"Your behavior was inappropriate, and I dare say, unacceptable. For a professor
to take such advantage of a young, impressionable, innocent student is . . ."
"Deliciously scandaloussss?" Snarky suggested wickedly as he and his serpent
in crime slithered under the door and into the room, unbeknownst to it's auspicious
occupants.
"First rate gossssip?" Snippy offered with a salacious laugh. "Uh-oh, Sssssnape's
in tro-uble!"
"Yes?" Snape drawled.
"Cause for unemployment." Dumbledore finished harshly. "I had expected to
see at least a little remorse, Severus. If this is not the case, then perhaps you have
justification to offer for your actions?"
For a few moments, Snape stared at the Headmaster as if to say 'And who are
you that I should be made to justify myself?' and Dumbledore stared back, his wise eyes
full of *exactly* who he was to command such respect. After a moment, Snape looked
away, feeling slightly ashamed of himself. Despite his natural reaction to chastisement
by any authority figure, probably due to this Slytherin nature, he was remorseful, to
some extent, and the Headmaster had every right to demand explanation of why he
was inebriated and making out with a student in the school's kitchens.
"Miss Granger and I have been forced into a relationship beyond the bounds of
just student and professor -" He began.
"I am aware of that situation, Severus." Dumbledore said patiently. "However, I
was under the impression that your romantic liason was a facade designed to protect a
young girl from Death Eaters."
"And it is." Severus insisted.
"All evidence to the contrary." Dumbledore turned disappointed eyes on the
Potions Master. "I must admit, I am completely stunned. I have no illusions about my
own infallibility, but I never thought I could have so thoroughly misju som someone."
"I have never given you reason to doubt my loyalty or regret offering me this
position, when no one else would." Snape said quietly, fully aware of the risk
Dumbledore had taken in admitting a former Death Eater to his staff and the sanctuary
of Hogwart's.
"The abuse of power comes in many ways, Severus. Using the authority of a
professor to influence the decisions of a student, particularly in this manner, is just such
an abuse."
"I *never* abused that power!" Snape's voice rose now. "Perhaps the
circumstances Hermione and I have found ourselves in have clouded my better
judgement from time to time, but I did *not* purposefully try to seduce her! I never
tried to use my *influence* to convince her to . . . to . . ."
"To what?" Snippy perked up. "C'mon, give up the details you slimy git!"
"Yes, perhaps I should enquire to the extent of this relationship, before this
conversation goes any further." Dumbledore said carefully.
"The extent of . . . " Snape stared at the older wizard. "What, you want locker
room details?"
"I am simply asking if any - irreparable harm has been done to Miss Granger."
He clarified tactfully.
Snape stared at the floor for a few moments, his mind full of images of the
"hunt" at the Death Eater's Ball, and Hermione's tear stained face. Finally, his voice
sounded softly. "Yes, I'm afraid there has."
Dumbledore, for the first time in Snippy and Snarky's memory looked
completely taken aback. "I see."
"No, you don't see, old man." Snape replied, harshly.
"Woah, pulling out the age insults!" Snarky exclaimed to his companion.
"No good can come of this." Snippy agreed, gravely.
- 17
- 18
- 19
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Trading Places