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Both Sides	By : ccino49 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 10429 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
I do not own any of the characters or places from the Harry Potter books or films. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. All that is mine is Lou and the plot. I am not making any money from the writing of this story.

Both Sides.

Unbeta�d, all mistakes and lousy grammar are mine. ccino

Glad you all seem to be enjoying this story, it's going on a lot longer than I meant it to. I keep trying for short stories and they run away with me. I'm now writing chapter 65 of this one so will post several chapters a day if I can. ccino

CH 18 Soufflés. A pig and a memory

Without thinking, he grabbed her arm and half dragged her into the drawing room, sitting her on the sofa and taking the seat opposite.

�Never, walk away from me again. I asked you a question, now I want an answer from you.�
�Why?� She sobbed, as memories came flooding back to her. Memories she wanted so much to forget. �So you can tell me what a cheapskate I am? How much I embarrass you when I try to save a few pennies? You don�t know what it�s like do you, having nothing, never daring to wish for something because you know it�ll never happen, scared to dream for fear you�ll wake up and realise that�s exactly what it was, a dream.�
His jaw dropped at her heartfelt response. �Lou ��
�I don�t want to hear it, it�s just like before. You�re fine when things are going your way, but as soon as I try to do something right, or I do things the only way I know and you don�t agree with it, you get mad and want answers. Answers to questions you know I don�t want you to ask because it �because �� She trailed off, knowing she�d said too much, got too close to telling.
He spoke softly, his voice soothing. �You are right, I do not know what it is like to worry about where the next knutt or sickle will come from, but as for not daring to wish for something I know will never happen, yes I do know that feeling only too well. I know what it is to fear dreams for what I might see, but for me, it is fear of waking to find that they are true. Lou, I am sorry, I should not have reacted so.�
Lou was still sobbing, but she thought hard about what he just told her. He too feared his dreams, but for different reasons. �Me too. Looks like deep down, we�re both scared of the past, and the future. That�s why I try to live for now, I can�t change what happened to me, and you can�t either. We both have to accept it, leave it behind and exist in the now. What happens next, who knows? No one.�
�That is true, but sometimes we do have an idea what may happen, and we can strive to change that future for the better. Whether we succeed or not, we must try. Lou, show me your past, let me help you.�
�You can�t, no one can and showing you won�t make it different. Would you show me yours?�

�No, but that is an entirely different thing.�

�Is it? Our pasts might be different, but you still keep it to yourself. You�re still afraid of it. I know you are.�
She stood, holding out a hand to him. �There�s the shopping to put away, that�s the now. And a soufflé to make, that�s the now.�
He ignored the hand, but followed her to the kitchen, and also into a new outlook on his life.

�You know, for one so young, you seem to have a too wise head on your shoulders.�
�If I was wise, I wouldn�t be struggling to forget my past and nor would you. Oh listen to me.� �Asinus asinium fricat.�

Jackass reprehending the jackass

She added, finally laughing.

�I am not sure how I should respond to that last remark.�
�By passing me the eggs. What kind of soufflé do you want?�
He narrowed his eyes. Cheese, for the main course. Chocolate for dessert.�

�You want me to make two soufflés?�
�Of course. I happened to spy some dark chocolate in that horrendous shop you dragged me into, I slipped it through when you were packing the shopping bags.� He told her, smirking as he placed a bar of chocolate on the table.
The smirk disappeared when Lou took the receipt from her own pocket and checked it.

�You got two bars. Where�s the other one?�

�I was � saving it for later?� He said sheepishly, showing her the other bar and slipping it back into his pocket.
�Well I like it too, so you share.�
Severus nodded in agreement, but scowled.
Lou took the bags into the pantry and unpacked them. She hid the tampons under a shelf so she could collect them later.
He watched her make the soufflés, everything she did was muggle. When Molly Weasley cooked or baked, it was all done with a swish or wave of her wand, likewise the rest of them, though not as efficiently as Molly.

He was intrigued when she whisked the mixture furiously; making sure it was light and fluffy. She put the cheese soufflé in the oven to bake with a couple of large potatoes before staring the chocolate one, then threw together a salad.
He stood over her as she removed the soufflé and baked potato�s from the oven and replaced it with the chocolate one. It had risen so high it was almost touching the oven top.
�That looks almost good enough to eat.�

�Almost?�
�More than almost, I can hardly wait.�
He�d set the table and Lou put the soufflé on top. A minute later, they were tucking in, Lou giggling at the sounds of contentment coming from Severus.
�What do you find so amusing?�

�You, �Mmm�, �Ooo� and all that. It�s funny.�
�I am merely showing my appreciation; you should take it as a complement. I feel I have died and gone to heaven. Is the chocolate one ready yet?�
�Almost, there�s loads left, I wish we had a fridge, it won�t keep in the pantry.�
�It will not be wasted, there is an Order meeting tonight, the dish will be scraped clean. Can we please have pudding before all those scavengers arrive?�

Lou went back to the oven, still giggling as she pulled the dish out and placed it on the table.
Severus got a jug of cream from the pantry and sat down annoyed for ten minutes as they waited for it to cool.
�This has to be some form of torture. Having to sit and smell that delicious aroma, and not be able to eat is enough to drive a wizard insane.�
Lou relented and gave him a large helping of the soufflé just to shut him up. Seeing him act this way, normal she called it, made him fun to be around and she was in high spirits by the time they finished eating.
Severus had made up his mind to place a stasis spell on the dessert and hide it before the Order members arrived, but before he got a chance, Albus arrived with five others and they dived straight in to what was left of both souffl�s.
Lou was quite pleased at all the praise her cooking received. Then someone said they had not realised Molly had been here and where was she now.
�Molly has not been.� Severus told the man. �You can thank Miss Black for the meal; she is the one who made it.�
She smiled shyly at the various complements she received.
Eventually all the members arrived and Lou was told she would have to go to the drawing room or retire to her own rooms while the meeting was in progress.
Then Molly arrived and suggested she be floo�d to the Burrow for a couple of hours, give her a chance to meet her boys, Ginny, Harry and Hermione.

Albus seemed to think this was a marvellous idea.

Severus and Lou did not.
�I�ll be fine in the other room; I want to do some reading.� She told them.
�Nonsense.� Albus told her, you have spent far too much time without company of your own age.�
�But I don�t want to, I don�t know them. I�ve got headache.� She gave Severus a pleading look.
�I think Headmaster she is not ready to be left alone with someone she does not know. Perhaps when they arrive tomorrow, she will feel a little more secure, in familiar surroundings.�
Lou nodded her head at Albus hopefully, and he agreed.
She let out a long breath and went to the drawing room, giving the Professor a grateful look as she passed him. �Thank you.� She mouthed silently, receiving the barest of nods in reply.
Lou spent the next two hours bored. She kept picking up her book, but didn�t read. She played with the cards, but kept burning her fingers. She took out her wand and practiced some of the charms that Severus taught her, then she tried to change the table into a dog and managed a pig by mistake. The creature wouldn�t keep still long enough for her to try to change it back and kept squealing. Lou ended up running from the room and slamming the door closed behind her.

�Shit. I�m gonna be in so much trouble.� She thought, as the kitchen door flew open, everyone wondering who on earth was screaming.
When Kingsley opened the door and saw the pig-running wild through the room, he burst out laughing and closed the door again.

�Did you do this?� He asked Lou.
�She nodded. �I didn�t mean to, it was meant to be a dog. It�s the coffee table really. I�m sorry.�
Tonk�s pushed past Kingsley with a wide grin in her face and opened the door. �She used her wand to transfigure the pig back into a table and took stock of the damage caused by the frantic creature.

�Looks like I�ve got a comrade.� She laughed, turning to Lou. �I was always lousy in transfiguration too.�
Lou knew Tonk�s was trying to be nice, but she felt a real idiot and stood back against the stairs while several members cleared up the mess in the room. She noticed Severus� boots in front of her as she studied the floor and she winced, wondering what he was going to say to her. It was bound to be a scathing remark.
�Were you hurt?� He asked.
�No, only my pride. I�m really sorry.�

�It could have been worse, you could have conjured a hippogriff, and then we might have had real problems.�

She looked up at him surprised. He was smiling at her when she�d expected him to be mad as hell.
�You�re not mad at me?� She asked, amazed.
�Why would I be, though in future, I would prefer that you save your experiments for the classroom.�
�I will, that pig was nuts, it wouldn�t keep still.�
The members went back to their meeting and Lou was left alone again. This time, she kept her wand in her pocket. She wanted to go to bed, but she still needed to get in the pantry and would have to wait until everyone left. Sometimes it was the early hours of the morning before everyone was gone, and she settled down for a long evening.
Severus found her curled up asleep on the sofa, about two in the morning. He bent to pick her up and carry her to bed, but she woke with a start, staring at him for a moment and wondering who he was and where she was.
She yawned and asked; �What time is it?�

�Past your bed time, up you go.� He told her, pouring himself a drink and settling down into a chair, watching her leave.
Lou closed the door and placed a foot on the first step, then remembered what she had hidden in the pantry. She looked over to the drawing room door and crept along the corridor to the kitchen, hoping there wasn�t still someone left in there. Thankfully it was empty, she grabbed her box of tampons from the pantry and tucked them under her robes. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Severus stepped out of the drawing room, startling her.
�What are you doing?� He asked, his eyes narrowed slightly.
�Going to bed like you told me to.�

�That was ten minutes ago. What have you been doing between then and now?�

�Nothing.� She said, her arms folded over the bulge in her robes.
�Really?� He remarked, his eyes running over her, wondering what she was trying to conceal from him. �Then why are you hiding something beneath your robes?�
�I�m not.� She told him, climbing a few steps.
�Oh but you are. Now show me.� He moved to the bottom step.
�No. It�s nothing.� She said defiantly, turning and climbing some more. �Why did he have to come out here now?�
Severus followed her, keeping pace, but not attempting to catch up.
On the first floor, she automatically went to the bedroom she�d used until now, thinking she was gonna get away from him.
�That is no longer your room, you are on the third floor remember.�
Lou turned to find him stood at the bottom of the next staircase, waiting for her.
She had to go passed him since he made it clear he did not intend to move until she was in front of him.

Just as she drew level with him and put a foot on the stair, his hand shot out and grabbed her arm, startling her. She dropped the box in fright and he stooped to pick it up.
Her cheeks flamed as he looked at the box in his hand before passing it back to her.
�Did you purchase these today?�

�Yes.� She squeaked, looking at his chest.�
�It was not necessary, the elf will provide any personal items you require in future.�

He said nothing more as she fled up the stairs and shut herself in her rooms, mortified at what just occurred.
Severus smirked at her reaction as he entered his own rooms and prepared for bed, the smirk turning into a smile and eventually becoming a chuckle. He had no idea what she was trying to hide from him, but the last thing he expected was a carton of tampons. It was not his intention to embarrass her, but the expression on her face when he picked up the box was certainly one to be savoured.
Lou on the other hand, felt very differently about it. She was eleven when she got her first period. She knew what it was, but it took her by surprise and she told Mrs Collins what happened. Mrs Collins gave her some money and sent her to the shop to get herself some towels. When she got back, the other girls knew about it and teased her relentlessly when their parents weren�t around. They�d hide her towels and if she told on them, Mrs Collin�s would come upstairs to find them neatly put away in her bedside locker.
Then Mr Collin�s started to look at her funny and she didn�t know why. One weekend, the older girls were at their gran�s house for the night, Mrs Collin�s had gone to bingo and Lou was in the room watching telly with Mr Collin�s. He told her to come and sit on his chair with him, to watch the program. When she did, he started to touch her in ways that made her feel funny. She complained but he told her it was normal, that it would make them closer and she should touch him too. He told her she was a woman now and how he could teach her how to behave like one.

However, Lou was scared, she didn�t want to touch him on his trousers, and she didn�t like it when he tried to put his hand in her knickers. She snuck out that night and never went back.
She realised she was shaking and sweating. She�d shut that memory away for so long, with others she didn�t want to think about.

When Severus saw her box, it brought it flooding back and she couldn�t even remember coming to her room.

Lou didn�t sleep well that night. Instead, she tossed and turned, the incident with the tampons forgotten as other, more horrific memories flashed through her mind. They came at random, no order to them. Some she never forgot, she lived with them everyday regardless, but she�d blocked the memory of how they happened and became expert at not seeing what she did not wish to see.
Also, she didn�t like these rooms. They were full of mirrors and everywhere she turned, Lou could see herself. She got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and scared herself half to death when she saw her own reflection in one of them.
�Would it help if you were to speak to a witch?�

�What?� She asked. Lou was making breakfast for her and Severus and his question came out of the blue.
�Another female, Molly or a medi-witch, perhaps someone your own age?�
�Why? I don�t understand.�
�You have been brooding since you got up, if it about last night, it really is not important. As a house head, I do understand about these things.�
Lou was totally lost now. �What are you on about?� She asked.
�I assume your current mood is over the fact that I found you holding a box of sanitary wear last night. As I said, I am not totally ignorant of the needs of females. You have no need to be embarrassed about ��
�NO. I mean �no. It�s not that at all. I just didn�t sleep well. Can we not talk about this?� She said, frowning.
�Fine. Fine.� He told her, holding up his hands in supplication. �Who am I to argue with a hormonal female?�
�Aarrgh. I haven�t got hormones. Here.� She slammed his plate down on the table, took her own and sat as far away from him as she possibly could. He watched covertly as she stabbed a sausage viciously and winced when she savagely took a bite. Her mood was blacker than when she first came downstairs and he wished he�d kept his mouth shut. He hoped she wouldn�t be like this all week.
Lou was livid. �Hormones indeed. How dare he? Why did men blame everything on hormones when it came to females?�
After breakfast, he set the pots to wash without even being asked. He tiptoed around her all morning and it was driving her bonkers.
�Will you stop it, it�s got nothing to do with last night, I haven�t got raging hormones and if I had, you�d be making them worse. Can�t we just act normal?�
�Severus let out a sigh of relief. �So your not �you know?�

�No I�m not, and even if I was, I�m no different then to what I am the rest of the time.�

�Then what is wrong, because something definitely is.�

�I told you, I just had a bad night. Those rooms give me the willies, I nearly shi �there�s too many mirrors. I saw myself in one when I came out of the bathroom and scared myself half to death.
It�s not funny.� She moaned when he started to laugh.

Though in the end she saw the funny side, his laughter was contagious and she ended up flopping into a chair and laughing herself stupid.

Each time one of them calmed down, the other would let out a snort and they would be off again. Both of them were wiping tears from their eyes they�d laughed so much. Severus could not get the image out of his head and Lou couldn�t stop laughing because he kept laughing.

It was only when he said they were going to the schoolroom that she calmed down.
�But it�s Saturday, don�t I get weekends off?�

�Certainly not, you have too much to catch up on.�
That�s where they were when the Weasley�s arrived. Arthur and Molly had told them there was a new arrival at number 12. A girl one year younger than Ginny, and that she would be staying there for the duration.
The trio and Ginny were curious and eager to meet her. None of them knew of her past, or why she was there.
�Is this girl the reason we stayed an extra week at the Burrow Mrs Weasley?� Hermione wanted to know.
�Yes dear, she is. Now, I want all of you to take your things upstairs and unpack. Come on now, hurry up.� Molly didn�t want to give them chance to ask too many questions. Especially Hermione. The girl never stopped once she got her teeth into something.
Hermione and Ginny went to their room on the first floor, while Harry and Ron carried on to the second floor where they shared a room.
�There�s something going on Harry, I just know it. Why�s there all this secrecy over a new girl, and why is she here?�
�I dunno Ron, but I guess we�ll find out soon enough. Let�s hurry with the unpacking then we can go downstairs and find out.�
�Who do you think it is Hermione?�

�No idea Ginny, but I intend to find out. Everyone�s being rather secretive. Every time I open my mouth to ask a question about her, the subject is suddenly changed, or something needs seeing to urgently.� Hermione waved her wand and her trunk opened. Another flick and her clothes placed themselves neatly into the drawer and wardrobe.

Ginny followed suit with her own things and the pair were ready to head downstairs.
They were back in the kitchen fifteen minutes later. They�d already checked the drawing room and it was empty.

�Where is she mum?�

�Who dear?� Molly asked. �You know, someone�s been cleaning in here and they�ve done a lovely job of it. I know it wasn�t the Professor or Remus, they never clean up after them.�

�What Professor?� Four voices asked at once, the boys had just arrived in the kitchen.
�Professor Snape of course, didn�t I mention he was staying here too?�

�No you didn�t.� Ron said, his brow furrowed.
�What�s the greasy git doing here?� Harry demanded.
�Harry.� Molly and Hermione said at the same time.
Hermione didn�t like Professor Snape much, but she still respected him as a teacher. Molly on the other hand was more than a little upset. �Professor Snape is deserving of your respect. Do not call him that again.�

�That still doesn�t tell us why he�s here.� Ron sulked, not even attempting to apologise.
�All will be explained to you later. Now just behave yourselves and be patient.�
�Where�s the new girl Mrs Weasley?�

�She�s in the classroom with Professor Snape. They should be finished soon.�

�Classroom.� They all cried together. I didn�t know this place had a classroom. �Harry piped up.
�Why is she having classes? It�s the holidays, and a weekend.� Ginny added.
�Is that why the Professors here, to give extra lessons? Do we get to have them too?� Hermione wanted to know. If there were extra lessons, she wanted in on them.
The others were terrified that they�d be forced to take them too.
�Look you lot, as far as I know, Lou is the only one having these lessons. Now leave me alone and go find something to do.�
�Where�s Remus? Is he here?�

�No Harry, another couple of days and he�ll be back. Now off with the lot off you.�
�Huh. What kind of a name is Lou. I thought mum said it was a girl?�
�Oh Ron. It�s probably short for something, Louise or Louisa or something.�
Meanwhile, Lou had just made a giggling potion and, after checking it, Severus made her test it on herself.

Now she was back to laughing like an idiot, only this time she didn�t know why.
Severus administered the antidote, the corners of his lips twitching like mad until she final calmed down.
�That was awful. I never thought I�d ever not like laughing.�

�That is why I prepared the antidote, you will learn to brew that tomorrow. Lunchtime I think, you have done well today Lou.�
�Thanks. Do you think I�ll catch up enough for when I go to Hogwarts?�
�If you put in the hours and study hard. I shall loan you some books, they will be of help and you should not be too far behind if you apply yourself.�

�That�d be great, thanks. I hope I don�t let you down.� She told him as they headed down the stairs.
�You wont.� He answered, pleased that she felt that way.
�I�ll get on with lunch.� What do you fancy?�

�It�s all right dear, I�m already on with it.� Shouted a voice from the kitchen.
Lou turned to Severus, startled. She�d not realised anyone else was in the house. �Who�s that?� She whispered.
�Molly Weasley. You knew they were due to arrive today.�
�I forgot, will they all be in there?�
When she poked her head in the door, she was relieved to find only Mr and Mrs Weasley present and stepped inside. �Hello Mr Weasley, Mrs Weasley.�

�Molly, Arthur.� The Professor greeted them. �All alone?�
�Not quite.� Arthur laughed. They�re in the other room, bursting with curiosity as we speak.�

��Then let us not disappoint them.� Severus said, turning and beckoning Lou to follow.
�Tell them nothing for now about your inheritance.� He told Lou quietly. �The headmaster should be arriving soon, let him give them the splendid news.�

Lou looked at him sceptically. �What splendid news?� She wondered.

She had no chance to think further as they entered the room and four pair of eyes turned in their direction.
�I shall leave you to get acquainted.� Severus told them all before turning to leave the room.
Lou�s eyes widened and she grabbed his arm. �You can�t leave me on my own.� She begged. �Please.�
�You will be fine, now let go of my arm.�
Lou dropped her hand and he left the room, closing the door behind him. She stood looking at it for a moment in shock, unable to believe he�d just left her like that.
Turning she saw they were still looking at her and she didn�t know what to do. Her heart was racing and she wanted to run, but Lou was a fighter and she wasn�t going to run away from these four. Not yet anyway.
�Hi.� She said quietly. Trying to look as if she wasn�t phased by the situation.
�Hello, I�m Hermione, this is Ginny, Harry and Ron. You must be Lou.�
�Yeah, I am. Are you witches and wizards too?�
�We wouldn�t be here if we weren�t.� Ron told her. Is that your proper name, Lou. It�s a boy�s name.�
�Ron.� The other three admonished him.
�No, it�s Louhi, but I like being called Lou.�
�So how come you�re here Lou?� Ginny wanted to know.
�I�m not allowed to say. I think the Headmasters coming, he�ll tell you.�
�Must be something serious if he�s coming to explain things. Can�t you tell us anything?� Said Ron. �Where are you from? Have you transferred from another school?�
�I�m not from anywhere, and no, I haven�t transferred.�
�That does not make any sense.� Hermione told her. �Everyone comes from somewhere. Where did you live before you came here, and why is Professor Snape here?�
�I lived next door to him, he�s the one that brought me here.�
�You lived next door to the greasy git?� Ron was incredulous.
�Don�t you dare call him names.� Lou told him, her eyes flashing fire with every word. �He�s a good man, the best. He�s been really nice to me and if you call him that again I�ll thump you.�

�Whoa.� Ron held his hands out. �She�s bonkers.� He told the others.

�No she is not Ron, leave her alone.� Hermione turned back to Lou. �Take no notice of him, he speaks before he thinks. Come and sit down, tell us what your allowed to, and we�ll tell you about us.�
Lou took the few steps necessary to reach a chair and sat down. She felt like a fish in a bowl as they all sat watching her expectantly.

TBC

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