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Struggling Through New Beginnings	By : HarryGinny4eva Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 31236 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Disclaimer: Spoilers - I do
not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from
the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story

Chapter 19

Class continued with Professor Flitwick�s lecture on
the importance of N.E.W.T.S., how difficult their final Charms exams would be,
and the low groans of the students in response. Theo tuned everything out. He
instead sat back to ponder all that had happened that morning.

He glanced around the room and saw Parvati�s long, straight, dark hair slide
over one shoulder as she tilted her head to take notes on the various charms
they would be learning over the upcoming year. He grinned when he remembered
her taking his hand after Ancient Runes class, as if it was the most normal
action in the world. Happily surprised, he had willed his hands not to shake
and his palms not to sweat, and hoped she wouldn�t notice the slight waver to
his voice when he asked about them possibly studying together later.

Her pretty blush and the way she wouldn�t look him in the eye, let him know of
her own nervousness at her bold action, even as she smiled and answered, her
voice strong and sure. Her small show of bravery had relaxed him enough to stop
the stutter that had been forming and after taking a calming breath he had
gripped her hand a bit tighter and asked her about her new rooms. He didn�t
know what he had done that earned him a chance with her; he just hoped he
didn�t blow it. He also hoped, if he played his cards right, he could soon have
his first girlfriend.

The professor droned on as Theo glanced down a few rows and took notice of
Harry and Ginny sitting with Luna, Ron, Hermione, and Parvati all between them.
He knew of some of their fight from things he�d heard from them at breakfast,
but wondered if they had actually broken up with each other and just hadn�t
admitted it out loud. For some reason the thought of it saddened him. He didn�t
know why, but he knew they simply fit each other, and he hoped they could get past
their misunderstandings. From what he could gather it was just a matter of
Ginny needing some time, space and control over her life. He understood that
completely. But, he knew Harry didn�t get it. He made a mental note to try and
talk to Harry at lunch to see if he could help.

Theo then looked at the back of Hermione�s bent head for a second and her fight
with Pansy came back to him. He heard their words again in his head and
wondered who Pansy would try to set Hermione up with that would cause such duress.
Thinking back over his and Parvati�s revelation the day before he felt badly
for Draco, knowing he, too, had heard the fight. Theo made another mental note
to talk to Draco and see if he could get him to talk. The night before Draco
had disappeared right after Astronomy and not shown up in their room until well
after midnight. Theo had heard Draco come up the stairs and go to his room, but
he had been too tired to get out of bed and start what could have been a very
long conversation. So, he�d rolled over and gone to sleep intending to try
before breakfast. But, by the time he�d gotten up and dressed, Draco had been nowhere
to be found.

He looked in front of him at the bent blonde head and felt sorry for him. He
knew Draco was still reeling from all that had happened in the space of only a
few months. He could only imagine everything else the other man was going
through; all the school changes, fighting with Blaise, being engaged against
his will to Pansy, handling all the other students and their reaction to him,
and dealing with whatever it was he was feeling for Hermione. Theo knew it
couldn�t have been easy for Draco to hear that Pansy was trying to set Hermione
up with someone, and with everything else Draco had to deal with, Theo knew he
needed a friend. He just hoped he would be accepted as that friend.

With a sigh Theo turned his head to look at Pansy on his left. Theo watched her
for a moment and saw her eyes flicker back and forth between Hermione and Draco
as she bit her lip and muttered to herself. It didn�t take a genius to put two
and two together, even though he was one, and he felt his jaw drop open.

xxxxx

The walk from Charms to Potions was done quietly as
the majority of the group trouped down to the dungeons together. Pansy had said
a soft goodbye and fled from the room almost before Professor Flitwick had fully opened the door. Parvati and Theo had
said goodbye to everyone and headed off to the all-house common room to study,
with Luna trailing behind them.

Hermione didn�t say a word as she walked quickly down the hall. Ron huffed and
sighed on one side of her, and Greg kept pace with her on her other side. Harry
and Ginny followed behind them, but they didn�t speak to each other, and she
knew without looking, that they were keeping their hands to themselves. She
also knew that behind them were Blaise and Draco.

She felt her breath hitch slightly at the thought of him watching her walk from
behind. No sooner than the girlish questions of �how�s my hair look?� and �does
my butt look too big from behind?� crept into her brain than she stamped them
down. She wasn�t one to worry about such inane things; at least not normally.

But, what about this year has been normal
so far? she asked herself. And, why do I even care what he thinks? It�s not like I am that
interested in�well, not really really interested. No,
I�m not. I�m intrigued by the idea is all. Yes, that�s
it. That and I feel badly for all he�s gone through. Yeah! It�s not his eyes,
or his lips, or his body, or his brain. No! None of that.
I can�t really be interested in Draco Malfoy. I just naturally want to get to
know him as I get to know his friends better, that�s
all. I mean really! I can�t even imagine kissing him and�damn! I can and he
just looks like he could�STOP THAT! Even if I am more than a teensy bit interested,
it�s not like Pansy�s right about him liking me. And, if I
said something to him� Wouldn�t he just love that?! Oh yeah, Hermione,
give him actual ammunition, why don�t you? He�s tormented you for years with
nothing real to go on, just go ahead and act stupid, give him something real to
pick on you about, why don�t you?! Sheesh! Not that
it matters, as I am NOT interested. Right? Right! Right? Crap!

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn�t notice them reach the dungeons
until Ron�s arm came across her middle to stop her from slamming into the wall.
Hermione blinked at the wall for a second before she realized what had happened
and turned quickly to see her friends laughing faces.

�Must be a damn good day dream?� Ron teased.

Ginny smiled at her, �Yeah. I called your name twice and you didn�t even
flinch.�

�So?� Harry laughed. �What were you thinking about so hard?�

Hermione felt herself blush at being caught thinking about Draco, but refused
to look in his direction and give herself away.

Before she could answer Greg leaned closer, �You�re blushing! What WERE you
thinking about, huh?�

�I am not,� Hermione playfully pushed him back. �I�m just warm from the walk is
all.�

He grinned and leaned back against the wall, but before he could retort the
classroom door was wrenched open. In unison the class straightened at the sight
of Professor Snape in the doorway scowling at them.

�Well?� he snarled. Even though the entire class stood still in the hall, he
focused his gaze on Harry and hissed, �Do you now need a Ministry engraved
invitation, Mr. Potter?�

Harry shook his head, but the look on his face betrayed his anger, as he swept
past his professor and entered the room.

Hermione had risked a glance at Draco and saw that he looked slightly ill. She
assumed it was at the thought of seeing Professor Snape alive and well. She
knew she wasn�t completely used to the idea herself. But, when his oily, dark
voice slid over them, and he fell back on the habit of picking on Harry, she
glanced sharply at her professor, and knew he was really back. For whatever
reason, it made a bubble of happiness swell in her chest. As awful as he was to
her and her friends, he was real. His simple presence was strangely comforting.
He was the embodiment of normalcy. He was a reminder that they had made it
through and that things although different, would be okay.

When it was her turn through the door, she smiled happily up at the dark,
brooding face of Professor Snape and received a scowl in return. Without
another glance she entered as she let the building giggle burst forth.

Ron and Harry gave her puzzled looks, but Ginny nodded and smiled back. She
understood and that made Hermione feel even better. With a grin she sat in her
seat and turned to face the front. The grin slowly slid from her face as her
eyes met Draco�s as he entered the room and stopped.

It was if the air had been sucked from the room and they were suddenly alone.
She could hear her own heart beat loudly in her ears and forced herself to take
a shaky breath as his eyes seemed to search hers. The air hitting her lungs
made the sounds of the room rush back and she shook herself slightly as she
looked away, effectively ending the moment.

xxxxx

When their stare broke Draco felt his hands shake
and made fists as he stepped across the threshold and went to the back of the
room to an empty table. He knew without looking that Greg and Blaise would
follow and tried to relax his face before he turned to face them. When he was
seated, Draco forced himself to look straight ahead and adopt his normal
�bored� expression.

Why was she staring at me like that? Did
she figure out that I�ve been, that is, that I�m�whatever! And, how come she
can smile at every damn body, including Greg, but when she looks at me, she
just shuts down?! Or, worse, gives me that look that says she feels sorry for
me. Well, I don�t want her pity! I want her bod�Stop
that, dammit! Just �cause she and the weasel broke up
doesn�t mean she would ever even think to give me a chance. After all I did to her,
why would she? Besides, Pansy seems to have Mr. Perfect already picked out for
her. God, why is this happening to me now? Why now, when everything is so
wrong, do I decide that I want Granger? Why not before when we would have stood
a shot? Oh yeah, and when was that exactly, idiot? And, why can�t I stop it?
This is ridiculous! I am no first year with his first crush, dammit! I am Draco Malfoy! And, if I want a girl then I�I�oh yeah, I�m Draco Malfoy; the one who tried to kill
Dumbledore, the one who risked students and teachers lives by letting Death
Eaters into the school, the one who let a teacher be tortured and killed in his
dining room. Oh, and don�t forget the coup de grace, the man who turned her and
her friends in and let her be tortured in my sitting room by my crazy aunt.
Yeah, Granger, I�m a real catch. I can see why you�d want to give me a chance.
Right! Even if I have changed and learned a lot, she wouldn�t waste a minute of
her time to stop and hex me, much less talk to me. And, I can�t actually say I
would blame her. If only she would see that I�

�Well, Mr. Malfoy?� Snape�s voice interrupted into his thoughts. �Don�t you
think you should get started?�

Draco glanced quickly at him and then around the room to see everyone either
writing down ingredients or hurrying to gather things from the cabinets.

�I�m sorry, sir,� Draco said as he stared up at Snape, �but I didn�t hear the
assignment.�

The professor�s features sharpened in annoyance, and he crossed his arms across
his chest, but he repeated the work anyway.

With a raised brow, Snape said, �You are to make 3 simple potions, the Boil
Cure potion, the Forgetfulness Potion, and a Swelling Solution. The class was
given 90 minutes, you now have 83.�

Draco wasted no more time and nodded his thanks as he stood and moved quickly
to the queue at the shelves. He didn�t even realize who he lined up behind
until her scent assaulted his nose. He felt his heart thud in his chest as he
realized they were no more than centimeters apart. If he moved forward a bit he
would have his nose in her hair. If he lifted his hand he could�

But then she turned and bumped into him. He instinctively reached out to grab
her arms to keep her from falling and she glanced up at him and gasped. He felt
his hands start to shake again as she froze against him, her eyes wide and
searching. He watched the look on her face go from surprise to shock to blank
to wary, but he also saw her pupils dilate. He knew enough about anatomy to
know that she was either a little turned on or very afraid. Assuming the
latter, he quickly let go of her and stepped back.

�Sorry,� he muttered and moved out of her way. But she didn�t move.

After a moment of silence, as the rest of the students bustled around them, she
whispered, �You apologized to me.�

Annoyed that she said it as if he�d never done anything like it, he sneered,
�What of it?�

She shook her head, but didn�t say anything else as she continued to stare up
at him with her lips slightly parted. He had the insane urge to grab her and
kiss her in front of the entire class, but shook his head a little instead to
clear it.

�Can you move?� he finally asked, only a fraction of his normal disdain
showing, �Others need to get ingredients, too.� When she didn�t move, he tilted
his head a bit and smiled, �Please?�

He chuckled when her mouth fell open in shock and she took a step back. He
wasn�t sure what had shocked her more, his smile or his words, but it felt good
to render the normally chatty girl speechless.

When she didn�t move he sighed and reached around her to grab at bottle off the
shelf. His chest was in front of her face when he heard her squeak and step
around him quickly. He smiled to himself and reached for another bottle just as
a hand closed over his.

�Don�t play around with her, Draco. She�s not your type,� Greg said into his
ear.

Draco sighed to himself because he knew it was true, but when he turned his
head to Greg�s his face was impassive. �Maybe, maybe not.
But, she�s not yours either.�

He saw the flash of hurt on his friend�s face and started to apologize. But,
Greg turned away from him and lumbered away before he could speak. He cast a
quick glance at Professor Snape and the look on his face told Draco that he
hadn�t missed the interaction. Draco lowered his eyes and made his way back to
his seat.

�When a man would hurt a true friend just to screw some bint,
something is really, very wrong,� Blaise�s bland voice greeted him when he got
back to the table.

Draco raised his eyes to see Blaise staring at him and Greg staring at his
cauldron.

�Greg, I��

�No, don�t,� Greg cut in sadly, �it�s probably true.�

Draco felt awful for his friend, �Look, maybe she just needs time to get to
know you better. I didn�t mean what I said, I was just��

�You want her,� Blaise said bluntly. �So, stop insulting our intelligence.
Anyone with eyes can see Granger isn�t interested in Greg, but you don�t get to
rub it in his face, you shit.�

�Wow, thanks for the support, Blaise,� Greg mumbled. �That felt so much better
than when Draco said it!�

Blaise shrugged, but said, �Sorry, but maybe now you can get a damn grip. She�s
still the same slag she�s always been. Just because she is on the winning side
doesn�t mean��

He stopped talking as he noticed the twin glares he received from the other two
men.

�Don�t call her that!� Greg snapped. �Whether I get her, Draco does, or no one
does, you will not insult anymore. She�s my friend if nothing else.�

Blaise raised a brow and then turned to Draco, �And, what do you have to say
about me calling a mudbl��

He choked as his voice was cut off in his throat. He hadn�t even seen Draco�s
lips move or his wand come up, but he felt an invisible hand tightening around
his throat.

�Let it go, Blaise,� Draco said softly. �And, I will, too.�

Blaise nodded stiffly and then gasped as he drew in air. Draco looked at him
without sympathy, �Why can�t you just��

�Does all the talk at this table imply you are all done with all three
potions?� Snape said softly from behind them.

All three jumped and quickly mumbled, �No, sir. Sorry, sir.�
At his pointed stare they hurriedly set to work.

It wasn�t until he was across the room that Blaise spat, �Because I will not
give up who I am to pacify the masses.�

Greg sighed as he stirred his first potion and added a few flakes to it, �No
one is asking you to give up who you are, Blaise. We just want you to accept us
for who we are now. It�s a two-way street.�

�Yeah,� Draco nodded and started to combine the ingredients of his second
potion. �We�ve all been through a lot; no one really knows what they�re
thinking anymore. Hell, look at Potter and Weaslette.
Even they seem a bit broken. I don�t know what I believe and what I don�t, not
really, Blaise. I just know I can�t act as I did in the past. I�m tired, you
know?�

Greg nodded, but it was Blaise who answered, �Yeah, I do. I get what you�re
saying, I guess. But, the difference is I do know what I believe. I know who I
am. It�s just everyone else has made that a bad thing or something.�

None of them spoke for a while as they continued to work, each lost in their
own thoughts. Then just as Draco was adding the last ingredient to his third
potion he heard Greg�s sigh and looked up to see the man staring across the
room. He knew what Greg was looking at, but couldn�t stop his eyes from
following Greg�s line of vision.

Hermione.

She was in profile and looked to be in her element. Her hair was pulled back in
a loose ponytail and she had a light sheen of sweat on her face. Her eyes were
scrunched as she examined her last potion, and her tongue poked out from
between her teeth as she concentrated on her stirs. When she absently reached
behind her back to scratch an itch, her shirt pulled tightly across her chest
and through the small gap in the buttons Draco could glimpsed what appeared to
be a pink bra.

�Time!� Snape called out and Draco jumped as if
Hermione had caught him staring at her. �Label your potion bottles and bring me
a sample of each of them.�

When the last of the students had placed their samples on his desk Snape came around
to the front of it. His imposing figure effectively silenced the room without a
word.

�As I am sure you�ve been told repeatedly, this is your N.E.W.T.S. year. I will
not bore you or myself by repeating all the mundane things I am sure my fellow
professors have said. If you haven�t understood their importance by now, then
you are even more dimwitted than even I give you credit for. Now, the simple
potions you have made today were a test.�

He stepped to the side and indicated the potions, which varied widely in color
and consistency. �The potions, as you can see, are not all the same, but there
are some that are close to others. I gave you potions you learned in first or
second year, to see at what level you are now. By your own hands you have
chosen the one that will be your partner for the remainder of the year, based
on your comparable skills.�

With a swipe of his hand the bottles moved around the desktop. The students
watched as the bottles whizzed around, pausing now and then as if checking each
other out. Finally, all the bottles lined up neatly in pairs and came to a
rest.

Professor Snape didn�t spare them a glance as he barked, �Everyone up! And,
take your things with you. Move to the back wall.�

Everyone quickly gathered their belongings and moved quickly to the rear of the
room. They watched as the tables magically broke in two and moved to stand in a
new formation around the room; creating double the number and allowing for only
two per table with one cauldron to share. Last, the chairs then slid around to
either side of each table. In awe they realized their professor had performed a
great deal of magic without saying a word, or even waving his hand or wand.
Those who could do wandless magic raised brows in
admiration of his skill; those who couldn�t, stood
with their mouths hanging open in shock.

�Now, starting from the back table over there, you will move quickly and
quietly when your name is called to your new positions. The better students
will be in the back, those of you who need more supervision,� here he stopped
and sneered in Harry and Ron�s direction before continuing, �will be closer to
the front where I can watch out for your errors and try to keep you from
blowing up your classmates.�

Everyone held their breath as he looked back at the potions bottles. Bending to
see the names, he called them out rapidly, expecting to be obeyed.

�Ms. Granger and Mr. Malfoy, table 1. Ms. Weasley and Mr. Zabini, table 2. Mr.
Goyle and Mr. Thomas, table 3.�

Draco watched out of the corner of his eye as Hermione moved to their table. He
saw that she wouldn�t look at him, but instead kept her eyes on Harry and Ron
to see where they would end up. She seemed relieved when Harry�s name was
called with Padma Patil and
they were only one row up from Draco and Hermione�s table. Draco saw Snape�s
lip curl in disappointment when he also placed Ron only two tables down from
Harry and Padma. Everyone could see that he had hoped
at least one of the two men would end up in either of the front two rows.

When the last of the students were seated, he assigned their homework and told
them to clean up the cauldrons before the end of class. When he sneered
�without magic� they knew he was really rather ticked and jumped to get
started.

Draco turned to see Hermione nibbling on her lower lip as she stared at their cauldron.
He cleared his throat as he stood, �I�ll get the water. You get the rags.�

She lifted her head to look at him, but before she could answer, he moved away.
He breathed a sigh of relief as he went to the opposite end of the room from
her and filled one bucket with soapy water and another with clear. He didn�t
know what was happening to him, but he knew he would go slowly crazy with her
as his partner all year. Between her perfume, and the urges he had to bury his
nose in her hair before snogging her senseless, he
knew he would crack quickly. Then, when he couldn�t control himself any longer
and acted on one of those crazy urges he would be hexed to within an inch of
his life. He was so lost in his depressing thoughts that he didn�t notice her
staring at him from across the room.

xxxxx

Author�s Responses: Thank you all
once again!

kazfeist: Thanks, hon! Yes, our couple does need a BIG push to step outside
of their little bit of comfort zone.

margaritama: Hey there! I am
so glad you liked the �fight.� It was really hard to write, as I needed them to
say what they felt, but keep the specifics hidden from the rest, AND make it
feel natural. Glad to know it paid off. :-) Thank you!! And, I laughed out loud
at your description of my story as �a Hogwarts CW show unfolding before our
very eyes.� LOVED IT. Good theme choices on your
part, too. And, yes, Pansy is coming into her own. By
those two needing to talk, I assume you mean Draco and Pansy, and no worries;
they will. ;-) Thanks again!!

Moon Goddess: Hello and thank
you! I am really glad I didn�t lose you. And, thanks for giving me and the
story a chance. I hope not to disappoint. I will update again on Sunday.

dragonsgirl: Wow, thanks! You
made me smile.

Mrs.Malfoy: Thank you! And,
you will see the results of Pansy�s push.
- 17
- 18
- 19
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Struggling Through New Beginnings