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Providence	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 15841 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I am making no money from this writing.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
Thank you again for all the reviews! This is the last
chapter of Providence, and I want to
thank everyone who�s come along.

Chapter Eighteen�What
Draco Malfoy Became

�� Harry might
not be able to see the humiliation lurking in Flint�s eyes, and in the eyes of
several other men and women in the dining room at Merlin�s Tor, but Draco
could. He knew from that who had backed Flint to win, and who might be
disappointed that he had not challenged Harry, suicidal though it would have
been. Draco made careful note of their names. Those same people would probably
oppose him on political grounds, some time soon.

�� Harry went
on eating with the grace he�d displayed before the interruption. Draco watched
him thoughtfully. He�d never heard any comments on Harry�s extraordinary
manners, the way he would have from someone if he�d eaten like this in public
before now.

�� So that
made Draco wonder why Harry hadn�t chosen to display those manners. Perhaps he
was contemptuous of people who would judge him by them? Perhaps it wasn�t
important enough to him to consider as part of the impression he created?

�� And yet, he
adapted without complaint to Draco�s thinking it was important, even to Draco�s
trying to instruct him.

Draco didn�t understand it.

It was like the way Harry had
argued so hard against Draco�s trying to own him when he thought that owning
meant control and possession, but let Draco put his hand on his wrist like a
manacle in front of other people. He even smiled at Draco indulgently when he did that, as if this was a habit of long
standing for both of them. Draco didn�t demand an explanation only because it
wouldn�t do to reveal uncertainty like that in front of people like his
friends.

But he watched Harry with a
concentrated curiosity that Harry could surely feel, from all the secretive
little smiles he darted at Draco and the way he lowered his eyes to his plate
each time their gazes met.

Maybe
it has something to do with love, Draco thought. That�s the only thing I can think of. It�s the only thing that
reconciled Harry to the word owned. It�s the thing that made Harry seek me out
in the first place, and led him to make excuses for me to his friends. And love
can make sense of other contradictions where Gryffindors are concerned.

That wasn�t an answer to the
question that had been implied, as his father would have said. But strangely,
Draco found himself relaxing as he thought about it.

He had the rest of his life to
learn about Harry�s love for him and what kinds of contradictions it caused and
smoothed over in Harry�s life. Doubtless not all the things he learned would be
pleasant. But they would be focused on himself, and on Harry.

Draco could not imagine two more
pleasant subjects to spend the rest of his life thinking about.

*

�Mr. Potter. A word with you, if
you please.�

Harry turned around slowly. He�d
woken up earlier that morning, on purpose, because Draco seemed committed to
decadence in his morning hours as much as anything else and because Harry had
realized that he hadn�t exercised in days. Spending hours in bed wasn�t the way
to keep in shape for Auror training.

At
least not in the way that Kingsley would like me to, since I doubt that
athletic sex is on the approved list of Auror techniques.

He�d risen and gone out in the
gardens so he wouldn�t disturb either Draco or the house-elves who would be
popping up and asking him if he needed anything every few seconds if he
wandered about the house. He hadn�t even thought of disturbing the only other
person who lived in Malfoy Manor.

�� Narcissa Malfoy
stood watching him with her hands held straight at her sides, as if she were
practicing at being a tomb statue. Now and then her nostrils flared with her
breathing, but that was the only sign that made her look alive. Harry nervously
scanned her face for signs of disapproval�either because he was fucking her son
or because he was half-dressed and dripping sweat everywhere�but he didn�t see
any. Then again, he didn�t see signs of any other emotion there, either.

He decided he could do worse than
be polite. �Of course, Mrs. Malfoy,� he said, and conjured a shirt that he
tugged over his head. He grimaced as the sweat pooled under his arms. He�d have
to get rid of the shirt later, probably, but right now it made him feel better
than facing Narcissa in only his trousers.

Narcissa said, �I want to know how
you intend to make Draco happy if you remain here.�

Harry raised his eyebrows. �Do you
think I�m making him unhappy now?� It was the only thing he could think of to
say. Maybe she knew something about Draco that he didn�t. That was always
possible.

And
it�s not the end of the world if that�s true, he told himself harshly, when
a spark of panic tried to flare up inside him. You�ll get things wrong no matter how much you love him. You know
that�s true.

�No,� Narcissa said, her voice a
whisper. �But there is a difference between being able to make him happy for a
few days and doing it for years.� She stared directly at him, and Harry
wondered if this was the mother Draco had known, the woman willing to make an
Unbreakable Vow to keep him safe. �There is a difference between a love affair
and marriage.�

Harry blinked, but considered her
words. Then he said, �I have every intention of staying with Draco for the rest
of my life and making him as happy as I can. Maybe it won�t work out that way,
but I have the intention.�

Narcissa smiled coldly, as if to
say that she knew what intentions were worth. She murmured, �I want to know
what you have planned, how you�ll content him, how make him joyful, how adapt
to his life.�

�I can�t give you answers I don�t
have.�

This time, she drew herself up as
if he�d insulted her. �Then you are less right for Draco than many of the women
who have besieged him,� she said coldly. �They at least had visions of
marriage, of the children they were going to bear.�

Harry snorted. �His whole circle
has an obsession with planning their lives, I know, but I refuse to believe
that their children would look exactly the way they wanted them to look.�

Narcissa tightened her fists in her
robes. They were almost a gown, really, Harry thought. He wondered if that was
what pure-blood women wore in private. He hadn�t seen enough to know; most of
the places he�d encountered them were in public, when they were swarming around
Draco like bees around a bear. �You mock our traditions, Mr. Potter,� she
intoned. �You mock the idea of a plan for happiness, but that is exactly what
you cannot offer Draco, and that is exactly the reason that I might think it
best to take him away from you.�

Harry was silent for a few minutes,
thinking. His first instinct was to challenge her to try, but she was important
to Draco, and she might not be completely right in the head after the war.

�I want to plan,� he said. �But
nothing I plan ever works out the way I think it will.� He shook his head
ruefully, thinking of the letters. �So it�s better for me to improvise, and
adapt my actions to helping Draco and making him happy as they come. I�ll stop
doing things that hurt him. I�ll increase the things that give him pleasure.�
He shrugged when Narcissa went on staring. �I don�t know what else I can do.�

�Make promises that you will fit in
with his way of life,� Narcissa whispered. �Say that you will not change him.�

�But I already have,� said Harry.
�Would he be dating me if he hadn�t changed? Of course, I told him that he had
to change a little before the dating would start. I reckon you could say that
that�s all part of a cunning plan to lull me before he strikes, but I wouldn�t
really believe that.�

Narcissa folded her arms and
hunched as if she was cold, and Harry felt abruptly sorry for her. Her face
said that she had endured things no one should ever have to. �My son has worked
so hard to hold onto our name,� she said. �I would not want him to give that
up. No matter how good someone makes
him feel.� She shot Harry a sideways furious glance that said exactly what kind
of pleasure she was talking about.

Harry took a deep breath, and
reminded himself that he loved Draco, too. �I don�t want him to give up his
name or his pride,� he said. �If you think he�s doing that just by dating me,
I�m sorry, but I don�t intend to stop that, either. And I won�t make plans for
the future when I don�t know what that future will bring.�

�At some point,� Narcissa said, and
Harry was no longer sure that she was talking to him, �there must be an end to
change. We must master it, and stop it from threatening us.�

�I can�t help do that,� Harry said.
�All I can do is try to protect you from pain. You and Draco,� he added,
because he wasn�t sure Narcissa would understand him otherwise, and he had no
intention of giving up Draco simply to please her.

Narcissa stood staring at him again
until Harry had to fight to keep his hands away from his face, because she made
him feel like he had food stuck between his teeth. Then she shook her head and
said, �I tolerate you only because Draco loves you. In some ways, I think it
would have been better if you had never come here.�

She walked away, slowly and
tragically, across the gardens before Harry could reply.

Harry stared after her, then
shrugged. Of course he wished that Draco�s mother liked him better. But he�d
been through thinking that the man he loved would never acknowledge him, then
thinking that he would be with Astoria, and then thinking that there was no way
they could stay together because Draco would never agree to lower his barriers.

Compared to that, an unhappy mother
was not enough to make him change his mind or his feelings.

*

�Come in.�

Draco made sure to sprawl elegantly
in the chair, his eyes on the book he was holding. He had the most comfortable
seat, closest to the fire. The room around him was a model of refinment and
sheer beauty. Any visitor would be impressed, and when he looked up from his
book with a cool, remote gaze, they would start shifting from foot to foot.

At least, that was the way it would
have worked with any normal visitor.

But Weasley was already abnormal.
To enumerate the ways in which that was true would have taken Draco all day, so
in the end he simply looked up and sighed as he put the book down.

�What do you want, Weasley?� he
asked.

�First I wanted to see if your
house-elves would let me inside when they heard my name.� Weasley cocked his head
to the side. Draco shuddered. Either the cool white-and-gold walls of this room
were simply the worst environment for Weasley�s hair possible, or he had done
something to make that blazing orange even more
offensive. �It�s interesting that they did. And it�s a good sign, I think.
You haven�t banned Harry�s friends from the Manor because of their last names.�

�Make it clear what you want, Weasley,� Draco said, and he knew
his voice was snapping, and he didn�t care. Weasley was driving him to
distraction with his inanity.

�I wanted to watch you in your own
home,� Weasley said, and dropped, gracelessly and without an invitation, into
the chair across from Draco. Draco winced, and then tried to keep his face
bland. He knew that Weasley�s robes, covered with dust and germs, would stain
his cushions, but he had to try not to show that. �If I can learn how you
behave there, then I can get a better idea of what you�re like around Harry in
private.�

Draco stared at him, to see if he
was joking. Weasley looked serenely back. This was probably the expression that
he wore when he was interrogating criminals, Draco decided; surely he couldn�t
have more than one of them.

�You�ve chosen a bad day for it,
then,� he said, �since Harry�s gone to the Ministry to resume a regular working
schedule.�

�And that tells me another thing I
need to know,� Weasley said happily.

�What�s that?�

Weasley�s slow smile was even more
infuriating than the serene expression. �That�s for me to know and you to try
and fail to guess.�

Draco hissed at him. �Is this the
way you repay effort, Weasley? I�ve been making every effort to get along with
you, not to insult your wife, and to accept you as Harry�s friends, part of his
life that I can�t change. And you show up and insult me in my home in
consequence?�

�You think that was insults?� Weasley raised his eyebrows. �I didn�t think it
was possible for your skin to get thinner since Hogwarts. Shows how little
logical reasoning ability I have.�

Draco jumped to his feet. �Get out
of my house, Weasley,� he said, but his voice wouldn�t attain the proper tone
of growl. He was imagining what Harry would say if Weasley complained that
Draco had thrown him out of the Manor, which he would have a legitimate right
to complain about.

Weasley grinned at him. �No.�

Draco paced in a circle, glaring at
Weasley with each turn. There were no good ways to handle this situation, he
thought. Yes, if he didn�t care about Harry�s opinion or was sure that Harry
would be on his side, then he�d use his magic to throw Weasley out�but that would
make it appear as if he were losing his temper, and Draco�s policy was not to
show sincere anger to anyone he didn�t trust.

That�s
already failed, because Weasley knows you�re angry.

But
at least I don�t have to disgrace myself about it, Draco thought, and eyed
Weasley grimly. �You can wait until Harry gets home,� he said. �But I don�t
think you�ll be able to persuade him to move out of the Manor or to drop me, if
that�s what you came for.� I don�t think
you�ll be able to. It hadn�t escaped Draco�s notice that Harry�s eyes shone
with brightness around Weasley and Granger that rivaled the brightness of
Harry�s adoration for him.

Weasley gave a secret, inwards
smile, which was a degree more infuriating still than the slow one, and stood.
�And that�s what I came for,� he
said.

Draco wondered for a moment whether
Harry�s friends were all mad. He considered letting Weasley go away without
asking what he�d discovered. That at least would make it seem as if he didn�t
care.

But Weasley watched him with eyes
that were too bright and a crooked grin growing across his face, and Draco knew
he hadn�t fooled him. Funny how he could fool most pure-bloods and most Aurors,
but not a boy he�d always considered among the dimmest he knew growing up.
Perhaps it didn�t help matters that Weasley was both pure-blood and Auror. It might give him an
advantage. �What did you come for?� he asked. At least he�s honest enough that he might actually tell me.

�I wanted to know what you would do
when I irritated you,� Weasley replied calmly. �And you blustered at me and you
flushed, but you never reached for your wand.� He nodded. �Hermione won�t like
hearing it, but you do mean to keep the peace with us if you can.�

Draco sneered at him. �Of course.
Why wouldn�t I?�

�It�s not long ago that you would
think it was worth anything to insult us,� Weasley said. �We had to check on
that. Harry promised us that you�d changed, but Harry can be�blind, sometimes.
So I came to see.�

�I love him,� Draco said. �There�s
very little that I wouldn�t give up or change for him.� He felt obscurely
insulted by Weasley�s explanation, in a way he hadn�t expected. He�d put on as
large a display of his changed feelings as he could in the Valiant Friends�
meetinghouse, and Weasley still doubted
him?

�I know,� Weasley said. �But we had
to be sure that your hatred for us wasn�t one of the things you�d fight to
retain.� He smiled at Draco, waved, and then turned and showed himself out of
the library without so much as a by-your-leave.

Draco stood listening as the front
door clicked shut, and then sat down and picked the book up again. But he
studied the pages without seeing them.

No
matter what, he decided at last, after a long time without deciding
anything else, red hair is still ugly
against these walls.

*

�I need to know if dating Malfoy
will compromise your political inclinations at all.� Kingsley spoke as if that
were a perfectly normal question, his fingers steepled in front of him.

�What political inclinations?�
Harry sorted through the files that Kingsley had given him, the cases that had
accumulated during his time in Spain and then his holiday with Draco, and
pretended that he couldn�t hear the sharpness in the silence.

�The inclinations that drive you to
be an Auror,� Kingsley said, �dedicated to keeping the pure-bloods from gaining
the foothold in the Ministry that they once had. The inclinations that make you
a champion of free rights, including increased rights for house-elves and other
magical beings. The inclinations that you�ve held all along, in other words.�

�Oh, those inclinations,� Harry said, and then started reading about a
case that seemed to consist entirely of someone selling cursed medallions to
fools in Diagon Alley. Harry sighed. Regular
detection charms would alert them to something wrong with things like that, but
no, we can�t possibly teach those charms in Hogwarts! It�s so much more
important to teach them how to change the color of a jumper and leave the
makework for the Aurors.

�Well?� Kingsley�s voice snapped
like a chicken bone now. Harry looked up and regarded him evenly.

�Would you ask anyone who started
dating a pure-blood this?� he asked. �I think that Toby Trout married a
pure-blood girl a few years ago. Esmeralda Greengrass, right? Did you ask him
in for an interview?�

Kingsley shook his head. His eyes
looked ancient, and Harry momentarily felt bad, but only until he spoke again.
�It�s different with you, Harry. And you know that. It�s not only a man, in
your case, but someone who was actually tried before the Wizengamot, which
never happened to Esmeralda Greengrass. And you�re the Chosen One, still the
symbol of the light, and our best Auror. We need some sort of public statement.�

�I�ll give you one,� Harry said. �I
still believe in the rights of magical creatures. I still won�t let anyone feed
me a ton of shite about being a half-blood. I still believe in bringing Dark
wizards to justice. And I�ll date Draco Malfoy as long as we both want to, and
fuck anyone who thinks otherwise.�

�We could, perhaps, do without some
of the language in the latter part,� muttered Kingsley, but he looked relieved.
�He hasn�t tried to convert you, then?�

Harry laid down the case files
fully on his lap and leaned forwards. He stared at Kingsley until Kingsley
looked away. Then Harry said, �What he says to me is our own business. I�ve
been getting along in pure-blood society for years, dealing with them for
years, and none of them has ever managed to convert me.�

�But in the future��

�You�d like Narcissa Malfoy,� Harry
said, and enjoyed it when Kingsley stared at him in confusion. He stood up,
gathering the case files. �Listen. I�ve given most of my life to the wizarding
world now. I have no plans to stop in the future. But some things are mine, private and not for anyone�s
peering, prying curiosity. One of them is my relationship with Draco.�

Kingsley tried to say something
else, but Harry turned and strode out of the office. He didn�t realize until he
was halfway down the corridor that he felt curiously light.

I�ve
wanted to say something like that for years, but I never had the balls. Or the
words.

He smiled and nodded to a pair of
Aurors passing by, causing them to stare at him. Thank you, Draco, for giving me both.

*

�Draco.�

Draco stood a moment before the
platter of exotic cheeses and breads, to control and hide his surprise. The
voice came from someone he had thought would never dare approach him again. He
turned around with a slight nod. �Astoria,� he said.

Astoria gave him a relaxed, happy
smile, nothing at all like the last time he had seen her. She wore a brilliant
blue gown that complemented her hair and eyes in quite amazing ways. And she
had a young man on her arm, who watched Draco nervously.

Draco raised an eyebrow at the man
and glanced back at Astoria. �Congratulations,� he said, not bothering to
explain himself. Astoria would either know what he meant and respond
appropriately, or she wouldn�t and therefore would mark herself as beneath
contempt. Either way, that one word saved him a lot of effort.

Astoria laughed. �Thank you,� she
said, and patted the man�s hand when he looked back and forth apprehensively
between her and Draco. �Although thanks aren�t what I came for. I�m here to
deliver a letter.� She held out a blue envelope, almost the color of her dress,
solemnly.

Draco held his hands away from his
body, carefully not coming anywhere near the letter. �Is this a joke?�

�No.� Astoria met his eyes, and
amusement quivered in hers like sunlight on metal, but Draco didn�t think it
was malicious amusement. �No,� she repeated quietly, when Draco just went on
looking at her. �I promise. Nothing that you won�t like reading. I think he
just asked me to serve as his delivery service because he finds it fitting. And
because an owl would disrupt the dancing,� she added, nodding out to the people
sweeping around the Nott Manor�s floor in couples and lines.

Draco gave a swift glance over his
shoulder. Yes, Harry had disappeared.

He cast several spells to detect
hexes and curses before he took the letter. Astoria�s smile widened with each
one. �You must have an interesting private life,� she said, when Draco finally
stretched his hand out and she let the envelope drop into it.

Draco narrowed his eyes, warning
her of the folly�the danger�of
continuing, and Astoria laughed again and turned away, pulling her young man
along. Draco watched them for a moment, and the man�s eyes quickly left him and
focused on Astoria, with an adoring glaze that told Draco clearly he saw her
for who she was.

As he never had.

Deciding that Harry had indeed
chosen the best messenger he could have, if he needed to send a letter at all,
Draco tore open the envelope.

Dear
thickhead,

I
know what it might cost us, both of us, to be together. Ron confessed his visit
to me. And Hermione still hasn�t stopped talking about how she wants you to
change your mind about house-elves before she really accepts you into my life.

And
your mother thinks I ought to have all sorts of plans and plots and second
lines of defense on how to make you happy. Oddly enough, so does Kingsley.
Maybe they�d be happy together?

Draco closed his eyes and prayed
for strength. Then he opened them and read on. He could feel the weight of
watching eyes on him, and whilst some of those might be people at the party, he
was sure one set was Harry�s.

I
want to tell you that I don�t plan to yield to them, any of them. Of course I�m
pleased that you and Ron are getting along, but if you get angry at each other,
I�m not going to automatically choose his side over yours. Unless one of you is
being obviously stupid, of course.

Draco smiled, and then wondered why
the words made him do that. They weren�t graceful, or eloquent, or witty.

And
if your mother and I don�t get along, I�ll do whatever I can to make her
comfortable, but I won�t just walk out of the house in a fit of guilt and
self-loathing. I�ll try to smooth matters over, and then I�ll spend a little
more time at the Ministry, and then I�ll ignore her, and then I�ll reason
things out.

�None of those are likely to work,�
Draco murmured, but he felt a swirl of contentment curl through him anyway. One
thing he had been rather worried about was Harry�s tendency to sacrifice
himself for the sake of others, and what he might do in the case of someone he
loved as much as he loved Draco.

It�s
going to be hard. But I�m looking forwards to it. Aren�t you? Just like I�m
looking forwards to getting to top tonight. You promised, and I think it would
be rather like you to go back on your word now. But ungentlemanly.

Draco shifted, and hoped no one was
watching too closely. He hated
getting hard in the middle of parties, though he knew already it promised to be
a regular occurrence around Harry.

Now.
Come and find me. I think we�ve been here long enough, and I�m tired of people
asking me how big your cock is. Much more of this and I�ll start thinking
they�ve all seen it.

Your
writer.

Draco folded the letter carefully,
stuck it into his pocket, and looked up. Harry was standing on the balcony that
overlooked the dancing floor from one of the Notts� private rooms, his head
tilted to the side in a winsome manner and an appallingly sweet smile on his
face.

Draco reveled in the moment,
drawing a deep breath, aware that many people were watching him, and that the
expression in most eyes was one of envy. This was his natural environment, and
he deserved some time to savor it.

Then he sauntered casually across
the dancing floor in the direction of the stairs. He would pretend he was
showing no eagerness even when it was obvious to everyone that he was.

These weren�t the same kind of
contradictions that Harry showed, but they were his, and like Harry�s, they
were smoothed over and made sense of by love.

And
yes, Harry, he thought, as he stepped onto the balcony and saw the bright
eyes turn towards him, I am very much
looking forwards to it.

All
of it.

End.

*

yaoiObsessed: Thanks! I really did
enjoy writing that chapter, and I�m glad you enjoyed reading it. Hope you like
the last one as well!

samanthawood89: Thanks!

polka dot: Harry would have if he
had to, but it�s just as well to keep on good terms with the neighbors.

Thrnbrooke: Thank you!

butterpie: Thanks! I hope that you�ll
see this the same way in the end, as well.

SP777: Don�t worry, I understood.
;)
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Providence