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Never Mine	By : RynStar15 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 21248 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters therein and do not make any money or intend any copyright infringement by placing them here.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
"Now you will see just how bad it feels to lose someone you love."
Narcissa turned to where Ginny was stirring and dread flooded me. I left behind my pain and weakness and I dove at the witch as she raised her wand to strike the redhead down and we tumbled to the floor. I scratched and ripped and kicked and hit. She threw me from her and turned her wand on me but I just attacked again, taking her back into the wall, watching her head snap back against the stone, punching her, ripping her to the floor, reaching for her wand, yanking it from her hand, turning it on her.
"Don't you fucking touch her," I snarled. Narcissa looked up at me, fear and anguish in her gaze, my blood smeared over her robes and face.
"I just want my son," she said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"That makes two of us," I told her, then Stunned her and Banished her to Flitwick's office, hoping no one would stumble upon her there.
It was time to find Draco.
...
One day earlier…
"He did what?" Ron screeched earning a resounding "SHHH!" from each of his companions. Harry, Ron, and Ginny had waited up for me to get back from patrol, presumably to make sure I did come back, so I told them all about what had happened. It was nearing one in the morning and the events from the day had sapped me of all energy and I slumped back against the couch cushions, rubbing my tired eyes.
"Hermione, this is insane!" Harry cried softly. "How can Malfoy fly?"
"Because Voldemort-" Ron whimpered. "-can. He now technically has all the same powers, remember?" I explained wearily. "But you are missing the big picture, here. Draco is on the grounds, and if he can get in without anyone knowing, Voldemort can."
"We have to go to McGonagall," Ginny stated.
"Yes, I quite agree," I sighed, gaining my feet and swaying.
"Not you," Ginny admonished, standing as well, grabbing my elbow. "You are going to bed."
"Of course I'm not!" I argued. "I have to tell McGonagall about Draco!"
"We can do that, can't we gentlemen?"
Ron and Harry's heads snapped up and gaped at her.
"Er, yeah, of course," Harry said while Ron still looked as though he hadn't heard the conversation.
"Look, guys, you're sweet, but this is my problem, not yours. I appreciate your concern, Ginny," I smiled at her. "But I'm fine. I'm just going to tell her what happened, then I'll go straight to bed. I promise."
She glared at me. "I'll come with."
"No, really. I'd like to talk to McGonagall alone," I explained. "You go on to bed; you have class in the morning."
"So do you."
I said nothing. In fact, I had no intention of going to bed or class until Draco had been located and sealed in a protective bubble until I could figure out how to save him and the grounds were secured once more. I was more nervous than I cared to admit to leave Harry's side, but he would be with Ron and Dean and Neville and the rest of Gryffindor tower. Besides, it was highly unlikely Voldemort would show up in the time I was gone.
"I'll see you in the morning," I said and bid them all goodnight, heading for the portrait hole even though my tired feet begged me to turn around and go to bed. This couldn't wait any longer. We needed to find out how Draco had gotten onto the grounds and until we did we were all at risk.
My heart clenched as I recalled the hatred in his gaze, his venomous words. It's not true, not true, not true, I chanted, trying to dispel the image. He was just trying to push me away, trying to hurt me. Unfortunately, it was working.
I hurried through the freezing corridors, my breath puffing out in front of me. I had to skirt Peeves who had stolen one of the teachers' chalk and was drawing crude images on the wall. I wondered at how ordinary of a scene it was when my own life had tumbled so extraordinarily out of control.
"Lemon Drop!" I told the stone gargoyles who bid my entrance and I climbed the dizzying circular stairs and knocked on the door. There was no noise from within and I felt terrible for waking my headmistress when she needed sleep even more than I did. But she emerged with haste in her tartan night robe looking harried.
"Miss Granger, is something the matter?" she asked, stepping back to let me inside her office. All of the portraits were snoozing in their frames, a chorus of light snores filling the room.
"I'm afraid there is. Draco Malfoy is on the grounds."
"Excuse me?" she sputtered, looking harassed. "He's here? Are you quite sure?"
"I am positive. I found him on the Astronomy Tower during my patrol," I explained.
"Is he still there?"
"No, he flew into the Forbidden Forest."
She gawked at me and waved for me to take a seat. I explained everything but the most intimate details about our fight. Her expression went from shocked to quizzical to worried within minutes. Portraits around the room began to stir, some feigning sleep, others listening in unabashedly.
"I'll speak with everyone who was on patrol tonight," she said, rising and going to the window. "Did he happen to say when he got onto the grounds exactly?"
"No, professor," I answered apologetically. Of course I should have asked him that. Not that he would have answered.
"I'll have scouts sent into the forest for him. Best have Hagrid take charge of that," she said and sent out a Patronus onto the grounds which split into a dozen more and streaked every direction.
"Is the sword still safe?" I asked.
"Of course. Right behind you."
I looked and there it sat in an encasement, glistening upon a blood-red pillow.
"None but a Gryffindor can retrieve it," McGonagall explained with a small smile. "I believe that will keep it out of unwanted hands."
I smiled at her brilliance, then turned to her. "Professor, I would like to go with Hagrid to look for Draco."
She measured me for a long while. "You have not slept," she observed. "You need your rest."
"I can't, not when he's so close." I gazed at her, imploring. "Please."
After a long while she sighed. "Yes, alright. Go on to Hagrid's hut. You are not to go in without him."
"Of course," I agreed, wishing I could, knowing Draco was much more likely to approach me if I was alone but that she would never allow it. I bid the headmistress goodnight and made my way across the snowy grounds, Summoning my hat and gloves halfway there.
Hagrid met me outside with his crossbow and Fang and the three of us set off, quiet as possible so as not to scare Draco off. It felt rather like trying to track down a skittish kitten. We kept our eyes peeled for anything unusual and I worried that my wand light would give us away and only prayed we would hear if he was moving. Then again, if he could fly now…
The night wore on, the dark of the forest pressing in. We walked until I could no longer feel my hands or feet and my robes were completely soaked through. Hagrid finally called the search off as he had a class to teach after breakfast. I begged him to allow me to continue the search on my own but he forbade it and when we finally reached the less dense part of the forest I was surprised to see weak grey light filtering between the bare branches above us. We emerged just as a group of fourth year Slytherins and Gryffindors were trudging through the snow toward Hagrid's cabin. I thanked Hagrid and reluctantly headed back up to the school, grabbing a piece of toast before the plates cleared themselves, thankful that Ron, Ginny, and Harry had already left for class. Alone, I made my way up to Gryffindor Tower, unsure of what my next step was. My second wind was waning fast so if I was to keep on my feet I needed to get into action. But how?
I stepped through the portrait hole and was shocked to find Ginny and the boys by the fire; Ginny at the edge of her chair, arms wrapped around her, Harry pacing, and Ron rubbing his eyes looking tired. Their heads snapped up as I walked in and they all ran to me.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking?"
"Are you completely mental?"
"We were so worried!"
I was shuffled to the couch and pressed into it. Ginny explained they had rounded on McGonagall at breakfast when she had found my bed empty and were told I was in the forest with Hagrid. I recounted our fruitless attempt to track down Draco as it was evident he didn't want to be found.
All I wanted to do was fall into bed and never wake up, but I knew there was too much to do. The three around me were buzzing with energy and I could sense they were holding something back.
"Any news?" I asked them and they all grinned. "What's happened?"
"Fred and George!" Ginny exclaimed. "After you left last night I tried tuning into their station and I found them! Said they'd been 'unavailable' until now but that everyone should be ready to come to arms any day and to keep their radios tuned for any new information. They know something is up. Mum sent an owl this morning saying they'd tracked down dad when he left the ministry last night and he took them home. They're pretty banged up, but she says they'll be alright!"
My heart lightened for the first time in weeks. "That's wonderful! Did they say how they were able to escape?"
"That's the thing, both of them swear they don't remember anything until they were outside with their wands. Neither remember leaving the Manor where they'd been," Harry explained and my stomach twisted painfully at this, my breath catching, memories threatening at creep to the surface, though I pressed them down, trying to stay in the present. "Isn't it odd, though, that all the Death Eaters are supposedly getting together and yet none of them could catch them escaping?"
"Fred and George are brilliant," Ron said. "They could take those idiots any time!"
"It's not that simple, Ron," I muttered lowly. They all looked at me nervously. "If they had been captured they were probably put in the dungeons where I was. There is no way out, not even with a wand which definitely would have been taken from them. There is only one entrance and when someone isn't coming or going it's just a stone wall. They torture you until you don't know who you are or where you are. They're manned by the cruelest of them all."
"Bellatrix," they all said quietly. I nodded. They were all silent for a moment while I tried to fight back the memories, but Ron finally spoke.
"How-how did you escape?"
I had never spoken about my time in the Malfoy Manor and they had stopped trying to ask me about it months ago. There was no reason to hold back anymore. My heart had already been dealt irreparable damage. Draco had hurt me far worse than Bellatrix ever had. Finally, I looked up at them and answered honestly.
"I don't know," I whispered. "The last thing I remember was…" I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. "The knives. Bellatrix loved them. She had left me on the floor, bleeding everywhere. I heard a voice and I must have passed out, because then I sort of…woke up. I was outside, my wand was in my hand, and I was walking away from these gates. I looked around and there was no one near me, no one to stop me, so I Apparated to headquarters."
They all looked at me in awe.
"Do you think you might have blacked it all out? Like, like Fred and George?" Ginny asked.
"I suppose, I can't think of any other reason. I've tried to remember what happened, but nothing comes to mind, not even a shred."
I looked up from my knees and turned to them all. "I don't know what to do next," I admitted brokenly. "If he was able to get onto the grounds without being detected, what's to say he won't get into the school?"
"The sword is safe," Harry reminded me. "If he's going to destroy it he needs the sword. It's the only thing with basilisk venom."
A horrifying thought occurred to me. "Except the basilisk fangs, themselves."
Their shocked faces told me they hadn't thought about this either.
"But-but he can't get into the Chamber," Ron said. "He can't speak Parseltongue!"
"Voldemort can!" I reminded him exasperatedly. "And he knows where the entrance is!"
"He would never tell Malfoy," Harry calmed me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "He would know that the Basilisk venom would destroy the Horcrux, he wouldn't do anything to endanger it."
"Besides, we don't even know that he's thought about this yet," Ginny pointed out. "For all we know he's just trying to get to the sword."
"And look how long it took Voldemort to find the Chamber alone," Harry agreed. "If it took him five years I doubt that Malfoy, who is being hunted, is going to find it in a few days."
They made good points, but still my stomach churned. On the offhand that he had found out about the Chamber's entrance, who was to say he could get there undetected?
"I still say we take no chances," I stated. "One of us should be at Moaning Myrtle's bathroom at all times from now on."
"How are we supposed to with classes?" Ginny asked. "I mean, we can't be there all hours for the rest of term."
"It won't take the rest of term," I said, not really knowing where this came from but knowing it to be true. "It's soon. Why else would the Death Eaters have gone to ground? Something is going to happen. Today, tomorrow, the next day. We need to be ready. Find anyone from the D.A. you can and warn them. We'll need their help. I'll take the first shift on the second floor. Harry, Ron, since it would look odd for you to hang around a girl's toilet-"
"Because we've never done that before," Ron snorted.
"-why don't you just keep an eye on the Marauder's Map? Watch all the secret passages, especially."
We split up, Ginny for the library to track down old D.A. members, me for the second floor, and the boys for their dormitory. I started my watch in the actual bathroom to detract any attention from students wondering why their Head Girl was just standing around outside Moaning Myrtle's toilet, but soon the morose girl's cries were more than my high-strung nerves could handle and I stepped out into the cold hall and sank to the floor, trying to stay awake.
I wondered vaguely whether I should actually go down into the Chamber to look for Malfoy but then chided myself for being stupid; I needed Harry to get into the Chamber.
When I began to drift off I stood and paced. When the bell rang I stepped back against the wall and tried to look like I was simply monitoring the corridor between classes. I watched each student tensely, but no one made for the bathroom, all the girls preferring to use a different loo. Once the hall had cleared and classes began once more I re-started my pacing, wringing my hands nervously. Ginny appeared during lunch saying she'd found Michael Corner, Terry Boot, Dennis Creevey, Luna, and Dean. They had all seemed eager to help if we needed them and promised to keep their coins on them so we could contact them. Then she ordered me upstairs to get a shower because I looked a wreck, taking over my shift as she had an off period.
Grabbing a sandwich from the Great Hall, I retreated to the prefect's bathroom and instead of sinking into the enormous bathtub, took to the roomy shower and let the hot water beat down on my tired muscles. I felt reinvigorated when I stepped out and got into dry, clean clothes. Instead of my school uniform, however, I opted for jeans, a tank top, and trainers under my robes, the better to move in. I could feel that something was coming and I had always been one to be prepared.
As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom I gasped, grabbing the doorframe to steady myself as I jerked harshly at the words which reverberated through my head.
Meet me on the Astronomy Tower during dinner.
"Why?" I asked out loud, stupidly. He didn't answer me, of course, so I glanced up at a clock on the wall. It was less than an hour until dinner. I ran up to Gryffindor Tower and found the boys in their dormitory, cross-legged on Harry's bed, the map laid out between them.
"Where is Malfoy?" I panted.
"He's not on the map," Harry stated, shaking his head. "If he's still in the Forbidden Forest he won't be on here. We haven't seen anything."
"Yeah, and Harry should know, he's spent enough time looking for Malfoy on that thing," Ron joked. Harry glared at him.
"He told me to meet him on the Astronomy Tower during dinner," I said and they both looked at me incredulously.
"He can't have, we haven't seen him anywhere near you!" Ron said indignantly, as if I were insulting his map watching skills.
"Oh, Ron!" I groaned. "Would you please keep up? He can use Legilimency!"
"Oh, yeah!"
"So, are you going to go?" Harry asked warily.
"Of course, how else will I know what he wants?"
"Then we're going with you," Harry replied and Ron nodded, but I shook my head.
"No, go on down to dinner. I need to talk to him alone."
"We'll take the invisibility cloak," Harry insisted.
"No, Harry. Please, just go down to dinner and wait for me there. I'll tell you everything when I'm done. If I'm not back before dinner is over, one of you relieve Ginny."
"Hermione, I don't like this," Harry said nervously.
"Yeah, what if he hurts you?" Ron argued.
"Don't be silly! Why would he hurt me?" I asked incredulously.
"To get to the sword? Or maybe because he's part You-Know-Who?" Ron suggested exasperatedly, but I shook my head again.
"I'll be fine. Go down to the Great Hall, I'll see you in a bit."
They sputtered as I took off, not wanting to be late to meet Draco. I fought against the crowd rushing down to dinner and hurried up the spiral staircase to the tower.
It was empty, the cold night silent. I crossed to the balustrade and leaned over it, looking up into the clear sky, millions of stars winking in the inky blue-black canvas, indifferent to the woes of those below. The grounds were still, the bright moonlight spilling over the snow-covered hills. It was majestic. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere but here. That was until I'd felt Draco's arms around me. Despair clutched my heart once more and I sighed, my breath misting into the silent night.
He arrived in a whirl of black robes, his gaunt face unyielding. I longed to go to him, to cover the three steps it would take to be in his arms once more, but I kept my distance. I knew with a certainty I had nothing and yet everything to fear.
"How did you get onto the grounds?" I asked as if I were simply curious, not bothering the skirt the issue. He just continued to stare at me as if I had not spoken.
"Alright, fine. You don't have to answer that. But you do have to answer this; what do you want?"
He looked down at me, his hands in fists, his posture rigid. "I did not bring you here so you could question me."
"Then why did you summon me here, my lord?" I snapped mockingly, exhausted with his hateful charade. His jaw tightened, but he made no other mention of my ridicule.
"I brought you here to listen."
I waved my arm before me as if telling him the floor was his before clutching my cloak tighter around myself against the chill of the winter wind and his icy gaze. He just continued to stand there, his eyes darker than I had ever seen them. For anyone else under his scrutiny he would be terrifying. For me, I simply ached for him.
"The Dark Lord will come tonight."
My heart skipped a beat and I suddenly felt light-headed. "For certain?"
"He knows I am here. He wishes to recover me. You may have noticed a sudden lack of movement from my side?"
My side… These words were not lost on me. "Yes. Fred and George were able to escape."
He inclined his head fractionally. "If we act quickly we may prevent numerous unnecessary deaths."
"Forgive me for asking, but if it is your side who is on their way here, why would you care if my side has casualties?" I snapped scathingly. His jaw clenched and I continued on, ire filling me at the thought of his betrayal. "Are you bringing them in through a secret passage again? Are you going to fight with them? And why are you telling me all this if you're just going to turn around and-"
"You always did ask too many questions, Granger."
"It's the only way to get answers, Malfoy."
He inclined his head once more, acknowledging my words. He stood stock-still watching me for a moment as if considering his answer. "I am not bringing them in. They have no way to get on the grounds besides force. And they will use it. They have numbers you can scarcely imagine."
"But how-?"
"Listen to me, Granger!" His façade cracked, he suddenly looked tense, scared. "You must not stay. When I leave here, you must go. Do not wait. Get out the others if you must, warn who you must. But you have to promise me you will leave."
"What do you care if I'm safe?" I snapped. "I thought I disgust you? Why would you care if your 'convenient lay' got in the way of a stray Death Eater? Perhaps Greyback? I hear he's particularly gruesome. He seemed to take a real liking to me back at the Manor. In fact, why don't you take me to him now? Be rewarded? Wouldn't that be a real bonus? You got to break me but you can still pass me off for points with your Lord!"
"Hermione, don't do this," he grunted harshly, his fists white at his side.
"Oh, Hermione am I now?"
"Dammit, stop fighting me! Just promise me-"
"Why should I promise you anything?" I yelled taking a step towards him, shaking with rage. "I am sick of you lording over me, throwing me around! I refuse to roll over and take it anymore! If you want something, you have to give me something in return. Tell me why you are here."
He glared at me, his jaw twitching. "You know why I am here."
"For the sword?" When he didn't say anything, I took it as an affirmation. "Funny thing. You'll never get it."
He sneered. "Have you not noticed I contain every power the Dark Lord wields? You could not imagine the powers he has. I can take anything I want."
I scoffed derisively, knowing I was pushing him to the brink of control, unable to harness my emotions in his presence. "Slytherin filth like you? I wouldn't count on it."
His brow furrowed. "What are you implying?"
"I am implying, my lord, that only a Gryffindor may take hold of it. Enjoy trying to find one to do it for you."
Fury twisted his features and I knew I shouldn't have told him, shouldn't be goading him in this way, but I couldn't seem to still my tongue, my hurt flowing out of me in waves at the sight of him standing there, the man I love lost beneath the evil that plagued him.
"You have to get it for me, Granger."
"I don't think I will, actually."
"GRANGER!"
"Malfoy!" I mimicked in a high-pitched voice, scowling at him derisively. "Oh, don't try to intimidate me. It won't work."
One second he was standing in the middle of the tower glowering angrily down at me and the next he was pressing me into the balustrade, his hand at my throat, moving like smoke, giving me no time to react.
"It won't, you say?" he growled, his fingers tightening, crushing my trachea. I kept limp, my heart rate normal, and shook my head the millimeters I could in his firm grasp. I knew my face was turning from red to blue, my lungs were screaming, my throat in so much pain I fought not to whimper. Instead, I forced myself to remain calm, proving to him that I saw through his charade. As black hovered at the edges of my vision he released me and I dropped to the stones like a rag doll, the world temporarily going black, my lungs automatically sucking in much needed air.
"Stupid," he spat shakily. "I could have killed you!"
"You already have."
I leaned back against a pillar and looked up into his confused face, his blonde bangs spilling over his forehead, gleaming in the moonlight.
"Draco, there is nothing you can do to me now that will hurt me any more than you giving up," I croaked, spilling the truth into the frigid night, my eyes closing for a moment against the weight of it. "The fact that I am not enough to keep you fighting leaves me without the will."
"Don't do this," he whispered harshly, his voice suddenly so pain-filled that I opened my eyes to look up at him, his face twisted with emotion. "I'm doing this so you can live, dammit! What is the point in my sacrifice if you give up as well?"
He reached down and grabbed my upper arms, yanking me up, shaking me. "Do not give up, Hermione! Don't, you can't! You-you have to live, I have to know you will go on, it is the only way I can do this!"
"You don't have to do this at all!" I cried, grasping at him. "We'll find another way-"
"What is your answer then?" he yelled hysterically. "What is your wonderful solution? Because if you have one I'll take it, I'll grab it with both hands, but we are out of time, what don't you understand? He is coming here tonight and he will not leave without me! He can find me; you can't hide me anywhere he won't get to me! And then you will lose, don't you see? He will never leave me alone again, I will always be by his side, and soon I won't even know who I am anymore! I'm losing myself, Hermione. Every day."
He shuddered violently and I ached to comfort him as I once had, but we were beyond that now. "Every day he takes a little more. It won't be long before I am his to control. You can't imagine what the world will be like with me by his side. I will be him! That's why he created me, that's why he killed Snape, to make his little puppet out of me!"
"Wait," I said breathlessly. "He killed Snape to make you into his Horcrux?"
"Yes! He said he had to make a personal sacrifice, we both did. So he killed his most trusted advisor and stuck his soul into me," he said sickeningly. "If he gets to me, it's all over. Potter doesn't stand a chance of killing us both. That's why I have to do this. And you make it so fucking hard!"
His lips were on mine, crushing me against him. The kiss was not nice. It was not gentle or loving or kind. It was harsh and needy and cruel, tearing at our hearts and minds, dragging us even deeper into the hell we found ourselves in. My hands clenched his shoulders, his in my hair, pulling me up, plunging headfirst into the unrelenting fire we'd unwittingly created. His palms cupped my face, burying his fingers into the base of my neck. He pulled back just far enough to look into my eyes, his lips a breath above mine, brushing against them when he spoke.
"I can't afford to care, Hermione. I found the solution; I know how to end this. I have to do this."
My hands came to his wrists and I found I could barely speak above my fear. "You can't give up now."
"I'm not giving up," he whispered, a small, sad smile on his lips, the pads of his thumbs grazing over my cheeks where tears had escaped without my notice. "I'm giving in."
My heart was breaking. "Please. For me."
He shook his head, the corner of his mouth quirking. "Don't you see, Hermione? This is for you."
I clutched him tightly, sensing him pulling away. "Don't, don't do this," I begged harshly. "Come with me Draco, I'll protect you, I swear, just come with me!"
Our eyes held for an infinite moment before it broke, his answer shattering the night, echoing the words which had brought us together, words which now tore us apart.
"I can't."
He tugged out of my hold and backed away even as I pled him with my gaze. His face had hardened into a mask once more and with one last glance, he turned and strode to the door. "Get to the vanishing cabinet, get to headquarters."
"Draco don't, I can fix this!" I cried, reaching for him though my feet were rooted to the ground in fear. "Please, I can save you!"
He stalled, his hand on the door, his back rigid. He didn't even turn to me, his voice hard, cold, crashing through me with its intensity. "The Order doesn't need another hero, Granger."
He ripped open the door and flew down the spiral staircase. I ran after him, calling his name, begging him. By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs he was rounding the corner, striding out of sight. I reached my hand back to steady myself on the wall as my legs struggled against the anguish of his words.
He was never mine.
I knew this. I told myself time after time. I had steeled myself for this very moment. But watching the back of his robes whip around the corner and out of sight ripped my soul from my body and I crashed to the floor, my heart shattering into pieces around me.
But I never made a sound. Because you can't lose something that was never yours to begin with.
…
A/N: This is the end of Hermione's story. The excerpts at the beginning of each chapter lead to the sequel which will be posted in a few days. Stay tuned for Draco's tale, "Always Mine."
I thank you all from the bottom of my hearts for your kind words and beautiful reviews. I look forward to finishing their story with you :)
SickPuppy: Thanks for catching that. Sorry, not so happy :/ I can't wait to see what you think of the sequel!
XOXO
RynStar15
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Never Mine