Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

For the Want of a Nail	By : thewickednix Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 4934 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. This is made for fun, not profit.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Chapter 18. All We Are

Two and a half hours later Draco hasn't lifted his gaze from his book once. And I am bored out of my mind.
"Can't we take a break soon?" I whine, throwing my own book over my shoulder. As if I were reading it anyway.
"Be my guest." Draco mutters, eyes still nailed to the pages. I sigh exaggeratedly and stare at him. "Can't you take a break, too? We could play a game of chess, or something."
Finally the blonde lifts his gaze, but only to raise an amused eyebrow at me. "You do know I would beat you in a second, right? Besides, I have all the time in the world to take breaks later. About five centuries of time, at least." he adds morbidly.
I shudder. I hate it when he talks about his condition. Most times I can forget about his eternal sentence. And most times, he forgets about mine.
"But I don't. Have all that time, I mean." I mumble, turning my gaze to the floor. An awkward silence spreads between us as we both try to sympathize with the other. But I can't begin to understand how it might feel to know you will live forever. And how could he know how it feels to have everyone in the world, yourself included, expecting you to die in the next year or so? How it feels to have everyone marvelling at the fact that you've even survived this far?

"I knew this could never work." The cold voice cuts through the silence like a blade of ice through my chest. I lift my face to stare at Draco. "What?" is all I can muster strength to say. He sighs and looks at me with a sad frown, but his voice keeps its coldness.
"This is too hard," he murmurs, averting his eyes from mine and putting down his book beside him. "It's not just about the fact that we're both guys and have hated each others guts for the past six years. And not just about the fact that everyone would go ballistic if it ever came in to common knowledge. All that's hard enough. Including the fact that we are from totally different social statuses and have grown up learning completely different values in life." Draco sighs, and turns to look at me with the most despaired expression I have ever seen on his face. "But when we add the fact that you are who you are and I am what I am... This is just too hard."
I stare at Draco for a long while, going over his words in my head. I sit up on my knees, facing him so that he can't look away from me. "So you think it would be different if I weren't Harry Fucking Potter?" I sneer, bringing a small smile to Draco's face with the reminder of his favourite nickname for me.
"Yes," he admits, smiling at me softly. "But that doesn't even begin to cover it." Another deep sigh escapes his lips, and I wonder silently if he's despaired over the situation or just annoyed with me. "But Harry, we would have a hard time with our... situation any way, even if you weren't the Boy Who Lived. I mean, think about it." Draco exclaims, furrowing his brow at me.
"I am what I am now, and I can't change that. I am not a wizard, not even considered human anymore! And you being who you are... If it ever got out that there was something between us... Have you any idea what that would do for our cause?"
I gaze at Draco quizzically. "I know people would be shocked and all, but they would get over it. It's not like everyone would go scurrying off to the Dark Side just because I'm gay." I don't know if it was the mentioning of Voldemort or the word 'gay', but something suddenly makes Draco look very nauseous.
"You don't understand," he shakes his head from side to side slowly. "I don't know about the Muggle world, but in the wizarding world things aren't that simple." He looks up at me gravely. "Maybe people won't join the Dark Lord because of your... preferences, but they certainly will rethink their alliance with the Light." Draco stares at me, and I see his anxiety when he understands that I still don't believe him.
"The masses are not like your friends and family. They will not see past it and focus on other things. They will lose faith in you, in the whole cause." he groans hopelessly. "You cannot afford that right now. Not right before the war breaks out in earnest."
I stare at Draco for a long minute. Of course I understand that it would be hard. But god... does that mean I should be unhappy for the rest of my life, my very short life, just because the masses can't handle the truth? Suddenly I feel uninvited tears burning behind my eyes, and in spite of myself they start spilling over. I lean towards Draco, resting my forehead against his shoulder so that he won't see my tears. He startles at my sudden movement, but doesn't move away.
"I can't do this," I mumble to his chest, digging my fingers into the front of his shirt. An awkward hand comes up to stroke my back slowly. I muffle a sob and continue. "I don't care what they think. What right do they have to judge me? They don't have to face Voldemort in battle. Their expected lifespan isn't at a maximum one or two years. They don't have to watch other people give their lives for them, when they themselves can't do a fucking thing about it!" By now I am screaming into Draco's shoulder, and his arms have tightened around me in a embrace.
"It's not fair." I whisper, a series of sobs finally escaping me.

___________________________________________________________________

"It's not fair."
I stifle the urge to laugh. Or cry. "No. It isn't." Of course it isn't. It's not fair that he will have to die. It's not fair that I will have to live to see it. It's not fair that until that time I will have to refuse him again and again, my resolve getting weaker for each time I give in.
And still, I know he doesn't get it. He doesn't realise that what separates him and me is not what has happened between us in the past, but what will happen in the future.
It pains me greatly to have to be the one that has to explain it to him. I take a deep breath and run my fingers through Potter's thick locks. "But as you see, this can't work. You could be risking the whole war for an infatuation. And me being what I am, I will have to watch this end, one way or the other. It might as well be now." The words are hard, but I keep my voice soft and cool.
Potter stills in my arms and lifts his face slowly. He has stopped crying, and his face is suddenly completely expressionless. "Infatuation?" he repeats hollowly. "That's all you think this is?" Suddenly he is screaming, flying to his feet. "God, how stupid are you?" he spits at me, enraged. He paces back and forth in front of me as I watch with wide eyes.
"Infatuation?! Of all the-" he roars, gesticulating wildly with his arms. "You think I would do all this for an infatuation? You think I would do this with you, of all people, for a fucking crush?!" He swears and kicks a pile of books, unread pages fluttering everywhere. I stand up to make sure he doesn't break anything. Like his bones, for instance.
Potter stops right in front of me, glaring daggers. "Is this just an infatuation for you? If it is, you'd better tell me right now." He stares at me, holding his breath for the answer.
I have none. I am supposed to say yes. Make him disappear from my life so that he can't hurt either of us anymore. But my mouth refuses to form the necessary words.
After a long while Potter releases the breath he was holding. Slowly his mouth spreads into a wicked grin. He chuckles. "I thought so." Throwing his arms around my neck, he presses his forehead to mine.
"Don't you ever try to get rid of me again."

___________________________________________________________________

"That's a nasty habit," I mutter, watching Draco light a cigarette. He sits down on the wide ledge by the window and leans against the wall.
"It's not like they'll affect my health." he answers morbidly. I shudder at the words as I take a seat next to him.
"Don't talk like that." I hate it when he says such things. And he knows it. Draco stares at me blankly before taking another bloss and looking out into the warm June night. "But it's true." he states coolly.
I sigh. Does he think that makes me feel better? That it's true? And still I wonder if the thought doesn't frighten him more than it does me. And still he makes a point of reminding himself and me about it all the time.
"Why do you do that?"
He raises a pale eyebrow at me. "What? Smoke?"
I snort noncomically. "Why do you make everything you do about what you are now?" Draco stares at me completely expressionless. I sigh deeply and continue. "I mean, if I'd talked to you last November and told you smoking is a nasty habit, what would you have said?"
Another moment of silence before he answers. "It doesn't work that way."
I furrow my brow. "Why not?" I press on stubbornly. Draco sighs irritated, crushing the remains of his cigarette into a brick on the outer wall. "Because," he says. "you wouldn't have talked to me in November."
Admittedly, it is true. I wouldn't have. But that's not the point. "Okay," I begin anew. "So tell me, why did you start smoking at all?"
Draco throws out his arms with a frustrated growl. "Why do we keep talking about my smoking?" A good question. I shrug. "I'm just trying to learn things about you."
He stares at me incredulously. "What things?" he asks, as if my sentiment was totally irrational.
I shrug again and purse my lips. "Normal stuff. Like what's your favourite colour. Or favourite flavour of ice cream. Where you grew up, stuff like that."
Draco still looks slightly annoyed, but a small smile has appeared on his lips. He relaxes back against the wall. "You do know that we're not normal, right?"
I smile softly at him. "I know." Of course I know. I've never been normal. And I guess I'll never have the time to become normal, either. I stand up and grab Draco's hand. He stares at me in surprise.
"Let's just pretend for now, shall we?" I pull him towards the unmade bed.

Afterwards I lie with my head on his chest, slowly getting used to the idea that I am not supposed to hear a heartbeat. "You should cut your hair." he mumbles, running his fingers through my locks.
"So should you." I snort, raising myself to look at Draco's by now shoulder-length hair. He only smiles and doesn't say anything more. I lie back down and curl myself around his body. I close my eyes and listen to the blowing of the wind outside, slowly falling asleep. After a long while Draco breaks the silence.
"White." he says. I manage a surprised "huh?" in my half-asleep state, but cannot find the strength to move. He continues nevertheless. "My favourite colour." After a few seconds of silence he sighs deeply and relaxes into the mattress.
I smile happily into his chest and let sleep claim me.

___________________________________________________________________

"Weasley's mother is here."
He looks up from his book first in surprise, then in wonderment. "It's so weird when you do that." He shakes his head smiling. I snort. "It's no trick. One could smell that ghastly amount of food from New Zeeland."
"Well," Potter stands up from the floor, waiting for me. "Let's go."
"What?" I ask incredulously, keeping my nose in my book. Potter sighs exaggeratedly. "I thought you Malfoys were supposed to have good manners."
I sneer in response. "Well, yes. We do. But I used to think Saint Potter wore a Gryffindor-gold thong and had a picture of Dumbledore tattooed on his arse. Illusions break." A sniggering Potter raises an eyebrow and reaches out his hand for me. "Come on. They're really nice people. And I bet they have some news about the outside world."
When I still only stare blankly at him, he finally resorts to begging. "Ple-eease?" he whines, stomping his feet and pouting like an overgrown child. As if I would fall for that.
Unfortunately, I do.
"All right," I growl, rising from the floor with what I believe is a very sour look on my face. Potter shines like the sun and hugs me quickly before scurrying off to the doors. "Come on."
I leave the sanctity of my library and follow him to the kitchen, dragging my feet after me. When Potter enters the room, I remain standing in the hall. Family reunions are just too disgusting to bear.
"Harry!" I hear Molly Weasley's voice and peek around the corner just in time to see Potter being embedded in a motherly hug by the red haired woman.
"Did you hear, Harry? Dad's in the hospital." the Weasel says, voice shaking slightly. Potter's eyes widen in panic. "What? Is he alright?"
Molly Weasley smiles. "Arthur is just fine. He was cursed in the leg during a raid yesterday, but they say he'll be as good as new in a week or so." The woman smiles encouragingly at the Golden Trio. "It's nothing you three should be worrying about. Besides, I though that as long as Arthur is in at St Mungo's, I might as well stay here. It's a good thing, too, that I can be here and cook for you. Growing children need proper food, and the stuff that comes out of the dumbwaiter is absolutely appalling."
I snort at the Weasley mother and am just about to sneak off when I hear an ominous bang from the North Wing. Two seconds later I watch in mild horror as two red-heads fly down the stairs on a pair of very scruffy brooms, followed by a cloud of thick greenish smoke. The red-headed duo stops cold in their tracks and just about fall off their brooms when they see me in the doorway.
"Malfoy!" Whichever one of the twin shrieks, pulling his scruffy broom to an abrupt stop. The other red-head has no time to react and crashes right into his brother. When they finally manage to collect themselves and their brooms from the floor, they don't even have courtesy to be intimidated by my irritated expression.
"Hah, Malfoy!" I guess it's the second twin that is addressing me now.
I sigh irritated. "I guess we have established that yes, that is infact my name." The twins only laugh at that, and the other one hurries to continue.

"You are just the person we wanted to see." he grins wickedly.
I raise an eyebrow. "I highly doubt that." The red-head opens his mouth to elaborate, but is silenced when his brother elbows him in the side.
"Mum!" he hisses. The others confused look turns into a grin once again. "Later," he mutters, just as Mrs Weasley walks into the hall.
"Fred! George! What was that noise I heard just-" She jumps slightly as she turns and sees me leaning against the wall. "Oh! Draco, I didn't see you there..." I snort. That much is obvious.
"Good afternoon, Mrs Weasley." I nod curtly. Then I look past her and see the Golden Trio peeking into the hall. Granger looks worried. "What was that noise?"
Molly Weasley raises an eyebrow at her sons, and the twins fidget under her stern gaze. One of them scratches his ear as he begins. "We were just flyin- uhm carrying our luggage to one of the guestrooms, but the broo- uhm suitcase flew into one of those house elf-heads on the wall."
"And well... it exploded." the other one continues, not looking too sorry about the incident.
Mrs Weasley doesn't look all too pleased with her sons. "Are you two trying to get yourselves killed? Isn't it enough that your father is at St Mungo's. Do you want to join him?"
The twins purse their mouths, muttering a not to sincere "sorry" simultaneously. Potter looks at the Weasley family with a concerned brow.
"Where's Ginny?"
Despite myself, I feel a green eyed monster feeding on my chest at the mentioning of the Weaslette. Why does Potter care anyway?
"Oh, she's fine. She's staying at my sister's house. I wouldn't like for a girl in her age to be caught up in all that's happening here." Mrs Wealsey assures him, seemingly happy that Potter pays interest to her only (thank god for that!) daughter.
"Yes, she's probably thrilled to death that she gets to stay at aunt Paddy's." Fred scoffs, his words drenched in ill disguised sarcasm.
"No doubt." his brother answers in the same manner, picking up his poor excuse of a broom. "We'll take our things to our room now."
Molly nods, but I cough slightly to gain their attention. "There are no more vacant rooms in the North Wing. You may sleep in the West one." I nod towards the stairs to my sanctuary. Potter, Granger, Weasley and his mother stare at me cautiously. The twins only grin. "Great!" They summon their suitcases and walk towards the West Wing.
"Well, I think I'll begin the preparations for dinner." Mrs Weasley mumbles, withdrawing to the kitchen. Potter still looks at me worriedly.
"You don't have to have them in your wing, you know?" he says, ignoring Granger's and the Weasel's confused stares. I only shake my head dismissively. "It's fine. But if they blow up anything, they're out of there."
Potter looks like he still wants to say something, but I hurry to turn away and stalk towards the West Wing. Just to make sure where the twins of destruction have made camp. I hear a rumble from the master bedroom, and walk in to find the twins unpacking their things into the closet. I lean against the doorway.
"Weasley!" I roar, and they both jump slightly at the sound of my voice.
"Damn, Malfoy!" the one I by now have been able to identify as George sniggers. "You just love sneaking up on people, don't ya?"
Fred also turns around and chuckles. "Ah, here the pretty boy is."
I ignore them and say what I came here for. "Just so the two of you know, the bedrooms in the West Wing are the Black family quarters. If you destroy anything in here, I will personally see to it that you die, strangled with your own intestines." Though I give away nothing that tells of the fact if I am joking or not, the twins only laugh.
"Okay, Malfoy. We get it." Fred sniggers.
"No explosions." George affirms.
I nod. "Thank you." Just when I turn to leave the twins yell. "Wait a second!" George hurries past me and shuts the double doors in my face. "Cast a Silencing Charm, will you?" he tells his brother. "Just in case Mum comes sniffing about."
As Fred casts the spell I take a seat in the only chair in the room. I sneer. "What's this about?"
"Well," Fred begins, sitting down on the bed while his brother sits cross-legged on the floor. "You've heard of the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes, haven't you?"
"Yes," I confirm, raising an eyebrow at the unexpected topic. "You made those Canary Cream-stuffs, didn't you? Montague once ate one just before a Quidditch match. Professor Snape threatened to expel anyone causing us to lose the game because of feathered vertebrates again."
After the twins have stopped laughing, George continues. "Okay, so we can see that the Canary Creams work just fine. But we have a certain problem with our Skiving Snackbox."
I must have misheard that. "Your what?"
The twins snigger. "The Skiving Snackbox." George repeats.
"Contains Fainting Fancies, Fever Fudge, Nosebleed Nougat and Puking Pastilles." Fred elaborates. "All you need for skiving unpleasant classes." They both smile proudly. I silently wonder which bizarre universe I have been sucked in to.
"And what do I have to do with this?" I ask incredulously. What could I possibly have to do with this?
"Well, you se," George begins, taking out a green wooden box from one of the suitcases. "We are having small problems with the Nosebleed Nougat." He digs through the box for a minute before holding out his hand towards me. I reach out and take the two small sweets he is holding, one orange and one purple.
"The orange one is the one that causes the nosebleed, while the purple one is supposed to stop it." Fred explains.
"The orange one works just fine, but we are having some problems with the purple one..." George continues.
"So," they say simultaneously. "Lee Jordan told us that vampire venom might work to coagulate the blood so the nosebleed stops."
I raise an eyebrow at the twins. "You want me to give you venom?"
Fred grins. "Yes, please."
"And maybe a hand with the brewing?" George pleads. "Rumor has it that you are quite good at potions."
I think about the proposition for a moment. It's not like I can't take an hour off once in a while from the research. And god, it's been long since I sat a foot in a potions lab. And it actually sounds quite interesting. But to experiment with these...Weasleys...
"You do understand the risks involved with this experiment?" I bore my eyes into the twins. "If you make a tiniest mistake, you could be turning people into half-morphed vampires for good."
"That's why we need you." the twins press on.
"If it doesn't take too much out of your grooming time." Fred jokes.
I remain quiet for another minute before I finally exhale and shrug. "I guess someone has to look after you to see to it that you don't blow up the house."
"Wicked! Thanks mate." the twins cheer, both patting me friendly on the back as we rise from our seats. The concept is utterly disturbing; a Malfoy being civil with Weasleys.
"Well, I think I'd better go now." I mumble, walking towards the doors. In the doorway I turn back towards the twins. "You can find me in the library when you need me."
"Sure thing, mate. Thanks again!"
I close the doors behind me and walk down the stairs to wards the library. How the hell did I get mixed up in such idiotic and pointless dissipations? Though truthfully I wait with anticipation to have something else to do besides read all day long. Even though I've started to sleep a few hours each night thanks to Potter, I still have an enormous amount of time on my hands each day.

Potter is not in the library. Maybe I shouldn't have expected him to come here any more today. He has the Weasel and Granger here now, I shouldn't expect to spend as much time with him as before. Not that I miss him when he's not here.
It's just that it is slightly less entertaining to talk to oneself.
- 17
- 18
- 19
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

For the Want of a Nail