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Matters of the Heart	By : strawberryf1re Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 34556 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe (characters, settings, etc.) ŠJ.K. Rowling. No profits are made from this work.

Chapter List
- 17
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Rating: M – inappropriate for readers under the age of 16; contains scenes of explicit sexuality and violence.

Disclaimer: Characters and settings ©J.K. Rowling

Matters of the Heart

K. Marie

Chapter 18

Hermione's first Occlumency lesson was that afternoon following her Herbology class. She promptly reported to the dungeons, having stopped by the library to borrow a few books on the subject. As she reached the classroom door, she pushed it open slightly, to find Severus sitting behind his desk. It looked as though his last class of the day had run over its time by several minutes, as there were students hurriedly scrawling notes onto their parchment.

At the sound of the door creaking open, Severus' gaze flickered to Hermione. He narrowed his eyes and stood abruptly, the screech of the feet of his chair against the stone floor startling the students before him.

"Miss Granger," Severus said silkily.

She wasn't sure if that was an invitation to enter the classroom, but she slipped in regardless, slowly closing the door behind her. The Potions Master stood behind his desk, seeming to tower over her even while she stood by the door. Nervously, she peered up at Severus through her bangs; suddenly she felt reduced to the nervous student she remembered being when he finally accepted her request for the apprenticeship in the first place.

"I do not believe I invited you to join my class," he said, icily. "Have you no restraint? Or do you simply believe that your needs are greater than those of the class?" His thin lip curled into a malicious sneer as her cheeks reddened.

The class of third years was watching the exchange with a mix of enjoyment and sympathy. As she looked to the class and then back to Severus, Hermione became infuriated with him for embarrassing her in such a way. After all, he did indeed request that she be present at four o'clock!

"This, class, is Hermione Granger. She is Head Girl of Hogwarts, and if I may so remark, an insufferable overachiever who thought it quite appropriate to interrupt your lesson," his voice was icy as he spoke. "Whatever it is you require, it can wait. I will meet you in my office in ten minutes, Granger."

Hermione nodded curtly, seething beneath her humiliation. She stormed into the office, closing the door quietly and fuming to herself as she waited for Severus. The audacity! He had not embarrassed her like that in years! And as Head Girl, in front of lower class students? She was furious.

She took a seat across from his desk, setting her things down beside her chair. She tried to rationalize that he was only protecting their relationship by humiliating her in such a way – she knew it maintained their façade quite well – but she couldn't help but feel as though he took it a step too far. His voice was a low mumble through the door as he spoke, and she assumed he was dismissing the class as she heard a rumble of feet as the students hurried from the classroom.

Seconds later, the office door creaked open, and Severus entered. He closed the door softly behind him, touching Hermione's shoulders with his hands and kissing the top of her head.

"Severus," she hissed, still seething. "How dare you!"

His eyebrows were raised in curiosity as he lowered himself into his chair. "Excuse me?"

"How dare you embarrass me like that! Why on Earth—why would you do that?" she demanded, her cheeks flushing violently.

Severus leaned forward on his desk. "Hermione, you interrupted my class."

"You told me to be here at four. It's not my fault that your class ran late, I did not deserve that!" she argued.

Severus' lips paled as he grew impatient with her insolence. "Perhaps you are confused, Hermione. My life does not revolve around your schedule. I may have told you to arrive at four o'clock, but that does not mean despite what may be going on behind my classroom door, you may enter at your own discretion. If I have a class, despite whether it is running late, you are not to interrupt."

Hermione's brow was furrowed in anger, and her hands were shaking. "That wasn't fair, Severus!"

"Perhaps you should have considered your actions before behaving, then," Severus said softly. "Despite where you retire at night, I am still your professor and you will show me due respect. Have you no idea the irreverence of your behavior just now?"

Hermione stood from her chair, her frustration too much to keep bottled up. She began to pace. "Severus, I am Head Girl, and you just completely humiliated me in front of a class of younger students!"

"I fail to see how that is my problem," Severus replied, his face aloof, his voice cold.

She turned to him, shocked at his coldness. Her cheeks lost their reddish color as she stared at him, awed. "How can you—"

"You are my student, Hermione. It is of no consequence to our public relationship whether you have woken beside me that morning. Nothing has changed between you and I when we are in the presence of others, and you should know as much," he said. "If, for whatever reason, I have a class that is running late – you are not to interrupt to begin your own private lessons. I reacted appropriately given the situation. You are acting irrationally."

She was pacing before his desk, her frustration very apparent. Her hands had not ceased shaking in her anger.

"Sit down, it is time for your lesson to begin," he ordered.

She suddenly felt as though he was nothing but her teacher after all, and a knot was tying itself inside of her. She slowly lowered herself to her chair. She knew Severus had an incredible ability to suppress his emotions when needed, which is precisely why he had survived so long as an agent – but how could he expect her to do the same?

"In the beginning of your lessons, you will need to simply empty your mind of everything. You must not think, nor feel, as I am attempting to penetrate your mind," Severus began. "As your lessons progress, you will learn how to suppress just the thoughts and emotions relevant to the lie you are telling, so that a Legilimens will not be able to decipher the contradicting details in your mind." He stood from his desk. "These lessons will take place in my private laboratory."

Hermione followed him through the classroom to the laboratory where her workstation was set. He swept to the back of the lab, Hermione following close behind. As he turned on her, his robes billowed about him. She felt strange in this situation; he was acting very professional, and she almost believed that he felt nothing for her. She knew, somewhere within her, that the reason he was acting so distant was because of the nature of the lessons, but his aloofness still stung.

"I am going to attempt to enter your mind," Severus' voice was soft as he spoke. "You must empty your mind of all thought, of all emotion. Are you ready?"

Hermione paused for a moment, briefly thinking it was rather unfair that he immediately begin her training after sparking such emotion within her. She nodded slowly. "Yes."

She was apprehensive, and with good reason: Hermione had always struggled with skills that were not readily learned from reading, and Occlumency fell into that category of skills. Her mind was always whirling with busy thoughts, and while she easily compartmentalized areas of her life in order to focus on matters at hand, she still found it difficult to quiet her mind.

He raised his wand, and Hermione stood still, watching him. With all of her strength, she willed her thoughts and emotions to vanish.

"Legilimens!"

Hermione felt a surge of memories erupt from the innermost corners of her brain, images swimming in her memories that were as lush and real as if she had just walked away from them.

Two children were playing together in a sandbox when a young boy threw sand in the face of his playmate. With sand in her eyes, the young girl – Hermione, no older than seven – began crying and kicking her feet, and from a nearby bench, her concerned mother began rushing to her side. Suddenly, the young boy was lifted into the air and tossed out of the sandbox into the grass. The concerned mother stopped in her tracks, staring at her daughter in awe…

The scene disappeared, and suddenly Hermione was standing at her kitchen counter, talking with her father, when they heard a quiet knock at the door. Bouncing into the entranceway, Hermione pulled open the door to reveal a stern-looking woman with dark hair and long flowing green robes. Cautiously, Hermione called to her father, who rose from the kitchen and came to stand behind his daughter.

"Hello, Mr. Granger," the woman said kindly. "And hello, Miss Hermione Granger. My name is Minerva McGonagall. May I come in?"

Hermione broke Severus' invasion, leaning back into the table behind her. "I—I'm sorry," she began.

"You must focus, Hermione," he replied, disregarding her apology. "Legilimens!"

Hermione and Ron were sitting alone on his bed at the Burrow. They were talking harmlessly about nothing in particular, Ron's hand resting nervously on her leg. She blushed as his hand slowly crept up to her face, touching the soft skin there gently. He leaned into her, kissing her. His weight pushed her back onto his bed, her lips parting to grant his tongue access to her mouth…

Severus, this time, was the one to break the spell. Hermione lowered herself to the floor, her breathing heavy, struggling to fight his penetrative force. His lip was curled in revulsion as he stared down his hooked nose at her. Her face was bright red as she looked up at him through her bangs.

"Are you even trying?" he hissed. Irrationally, perhaps, Severus was not expecting to witness the memories he had, and her time spent with Weasley incensed him with jealousy. His loathing was apparent in his voice.

"Yes, I'm trying! And I've read on this – but it's very hard, Severus!" she cried, her face a lighter shade of pink now.

"Try harder," he growled. "Legilimens!"

Hermione was tucked into a book at the library. A tall, sallow young man, wearing the robes from Durmstrang Institute, touched her hand gently, distracting her, his dark eyes watching her closely. She looked up at him, only to catch his lips with hers. She blushed, and, inexperienced as she was, simply kissed him back. When she felt his tongue press against her lips, she slowly parted them, allowing him in, though awkward as it was. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Hermione broke away, blushing furiously…

Hermione fell to her knees. "Severus, this is so hard. I'm sorry."

Severus' face was twisted into an awful grimace, the jealousy rising within him. He wanted to see no more of Hermione's prior romances, as the revelation was souring his mood. He knew not why he felt so jealous of the boys – he had something they never could, now – and the unknowing was what bothered him so. As he stared at her crumpled form, he tried to calm his nerves.

"Clear your mind, Hermione," Severus said, his voice harsh. "Legilimens!"

Terror. She heard the classroom door slam and lock.

"No, no, please!" she cried, buried beneath the weight of her professor. He was forcing kisses on her face, and she was trying to push him away, but he was too heavy. "Please, please, don't!"

She was crying now, fighting against her attacker to no avail. He seemed inhuman to her in that moment, and as he tore off her clothing, she cried out in shame. She could see the lust sparkle in his black eyes. He grabbed violently at her breasts, and she cried out…

Severus broke the spell, horrified and nauseated. He supported his weight on the table behind him, staring at Hermione, his face morphed into an expression of horror and guilt. Hermione hadn't realized it, but having had to relive that memory, she found herself crying. She touched her cheeks, surprised briefly that they felt wet. Looking up at Severus, she tried to smile – but only managed an awkward twitch of her cheek.

His hand cupped her face delicately, his eyes speaking volumes of words he couldn't verbalize. His heart ached for Hermione in that moment – and he had to admit, he was surprised that this lesson was as difficult for him to conduct as it proved to be. Foolishly, he had not prepared himself for the onslaught of her emotional past. She was barely eighteen; before her time with him, she had been pure. Her most emotional memories would be those of her first experiences with boys, or her realization she was a witch. Or… him.

"Once you are ready," his tone of voice had completely changed, as though witnessing his assault of her through his eyes triggered intense sympathy in the man.

After steeling herself for a moment, Hermione nodded. With each subsequent attempt, she showed slight improvement. At first, she was able to close off the memory after he had triggered it. Slowly, she managed to suppress the emotional memories, revealing to him only the tedious memories, typically of her preparing for exams. By the end of their first night, she was able to control what memories he tapped into, and while she had far from mastered the art of Occlumency, she proved her ability to perform.

He was not surprised of the progress she showed, and how rapidly she seemed to gain. Though Occlumency was not a subject readily learned from a textbook, he was fairly certain her eagerness to read up on the subject and study it thoroughly before their lessons contributed to her ability.

Hermione did not show much interest in returning to his rooms with him that night, and he thoroughly understood. She felt as though her privacy had been unduly invaded, and he would not be surprised if she was rather offended by him at the time. He had accessed some of her most personal, most emotional memories, some he had wish he had not witnessed – and she felt the same. It did not help that his reaction was sour, irritable – as though it was her fault he had accessed what he had.

She kissed him sweetly before departing for the evening. It would be the first night in a long time that Hermione had not stayed with him. After she left, he turned on his heel and retired to his private quarters.

Hermione hurried to her own personal rooms, as well. She was quite shaken from that first Occlumency lesson, and while she knew she had made some progress, she couldn't help but wonder if perhaps she had made a mistake. He was accessing thoughts of hers that she was not prepared yet to share with him – she remembered Harry mentioning that, how he felt as though Severus was invading the innermost depths of his privacy.

Pushing open the door to her quarters, she released a sigh. There were some things that should remain private at all costs; the fact that Severus was able to watch her intimate moments with Ron felt like a complete violation. And yet, she understood that it was mostly her fault he was able to access those memories in the first place.

Hermione headed straight for her lavatory. She couldn't quite explain it, but she felt the strongest urge to scrub her skin raw.

The next morning seemed as though it approached far too soon. Hermione woke groggily, turning over in her bed to find her cat resting next to her head. She combed her fingers through his long orange fur, nestling her face into his belly.

She had the aching suspicion that today would be a long day, indeed. As she readied herself, her mind was trailing along the events of last night. The Occlumency lessons had been exhausting, so much so she had almost forgotten how Severus had embarrassed her in front of his class. The thought caused anger to bubble up inside her, but she tried to quell it; he had a very reasonable case for acting as he did, and she knew such. She just really hated that he had done that to her at all.

She wondered if the memories he witnessed would change his opinion of her. He of course, had to have been prepared for the onslaught of her past. It would have only been expected given the lesson he was teaching her. He had no right to see her differently after witnessing the most emotional moments of her life, especially those involving other boys. She, on the other hand, was not so well-prepared for the invasion of privacy, and she hoped that her unease regarding the situation was to be anticipated.

Descending the stairs from her private rooms to the common room, Hermione searched for her friends. She was not surprised they were nowhere in sight (after all, it was quite early), and with nothing else to do, she retired to an armchair by the hearth and began to read.

Students slowly began emerging from the dormitories, chattering and yawning. Hermione turned to look at them, waiting for her friends to arrive. With about five minutes left to the beginning of breakfast, both boys descended the stairs, Harry looking as though he had just rolled out of bed, and Ron's freckled face mixed up into a yawn.

"Good mornin', Hermione," Harry said as she stood to meet them. "We usually don't see you here!"

Hermione smiled slightly, her cheeks reddening as she looked at Ron. If he only knew Severus had witnessed their intimate exchanges, how would he feel? She had decided that she would keep their Occlumency lessons private, as it seemed rather unusual that Professor Snape would willingly instruct a student in the skill, unless for a very good reason, as it seemed to be a very difficult skill to teach. Keeping a secret from Dumbledore did not seem like such a good reason, and if she had to explain to them why he was instructing her, the conversation may wander into territory she would rather not disclose.

She followed her friends to the Great Hall, which was busy and bustling with morning activity. Hermione eyed Severus at the High Table, but he did not notice her; he was quietly conversing with Professor Vector on his right, and seemed to be quite preoccupied with the discussion.

The Head Girl took her seat beside Ron, as Harry made his way around the table to sit down next to Ginny. He planted a kiss sweetly on her cheek before tucking into his breakfast meal. The conversation eventually turned to Quidditch, and with little for Hermione to contribute, she consumed her breakfast quietly, listening.

Their classes that day were fairly uneventful. Severus had sprung a surprise quiz on his seventh year class, at which the students were horrified. Hermione was actually quite surprised that she had no inkling of such a plan, but was quite glad for it. She could not rationalize any reasons why Severus would ever begin treating her differently in class, and she did not want him to. And even so, she excelled at the quiz, which would have come to shock no one.

His lecture was brief, and he sent them off to brew the day's potion. Hermione set straight to work, immersing herself in it and ignoring the outside world. Severus was pacing through the aisles, hovering over each student and observing them closely. As expected, he offered no words of encouragement to his non-Slytherin students, and when he came to his apprentice, he stopped and watched her closely.

She worked well under pressure, and she always had. As Severus towered over her, his black eyes surveying her closely, she did not falter – though his gaze was slightly grating. After a few moments, she looked up at him, expectantly.

His voice was low enough that only the nearest students could hear, and even then, they would have to strain. "Report to my office for lunch today."

Turning her head slightly, Hermione questioned his request. He ignored her, sweeping off to examine his other students. She watched him carefully, her eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. She suspected she knew what he wished to discuss, and she was not looking forward to it.

When class ended, Hermione hurried first to the Great Hall; she was positively famished, and wanted to grab a bite to eat to bring with her to Severus' office. She couldn't help but wonder what it was he wanted her there for, though her suspicions rested on their Occlumency lesson.

She spotted her friends at Gryffindor table, and she paused at the table just long enough to explain she wouldn't be able to stay. When they questioned her, she could only answer as thoroughly as the reasons she had, which were truthfully none.

"Professor Snape wanted to see me in his office for lunch," she said simply, her shoulders shrugged. "I haven't the slightest idea why."

Ron frowned, feeling sympathetic towards his friend. "Good luck, mate."

She tucked a sandwich into her bag and waved farewell to her friends before hurrying to the dungeons. She weaved between students, dodging them as they filed into the Great Hall like a stampede. The lower in the castle she got, the fewer students she saw, until finally she reached the dungeons and there were only a few students shuffling away from the potions classroom.

Knocking on the office door, she waited. Severus invited her in with a low "come in," and she opened the door and slid inside. He was sitting behind his desk, his eyes quickly scanning the day's newspaper. She took a seat across from him, pulling out her lunch and beginning to eat.

It took a moment before Severus lifted his eyes to her. She had nearly finished her sandwich by the time he was ready to speak, and when he looked up at her, she set her meal down.

"Did you feel uncomfortable last evening?" he inquired suddenly, eyeing her closely.

She paused before answering, a bit surprised by his question. "Uhm… well, a bit, yes," she said quietly. "I knew what the lessons would entail, but I expected to master the skill easily."

"Occlumency is a very difficult form of magic," he replied. "It is obscure, it is uncommon, and yet it is possibly one of the most useful forms of magic. I expected you to struggle, but I had not anticipated what I would be able to access in you."

Hermione lowered her gaze to her hands. "Yes, I felt very violated, Severus."

"Let that be the driving force behind your success tomorrow evening, then," he said, his voice icy. "I believe that you will find the skill very useful in your future, beyond the reasons why we decided upon."

"I know," she said quietly. "I wanted to learn when Harry told me you were teaching him – he had no idea his fortune at the time, and it was so frustrating that he gave up so soon. I only wished to be him, then."

"Unlike your friend, you have remarkable skill and a certain determination. I am certain you will learn the task, but as you saw last evening, it is not an easy skill to acquire," he was fingering his wand as he spoke, watching her face. "And you will, most likely, reveal things to me you wished were kept private."

She nodded, slowly. "I know. Can I tell you something?" she suddenly felt quite childish, but she needed to ease her concerns.

"Anything, Hermione," Severus recognized the concern in her voice immediately, and set down his wand.

"I… I was very worried that after you had seen some of what you did, you would feel differently towards me," her cheeks reddened.

Severus could have laughed. When compared to the skeletons he had tucked away, her shameful memories were entirely innocent, at worst. There was nothing she could reveal to him that would change his opinion of her. She had no idea just the intensity of his love; he had loved Lily Evans since he had met her, and that was nearly thirty years ago.

"Hermione, a childhood tantrum or an adolescent rendezvous in a boy's bedroom is hardly shocking," he sneered. "I would be more concerned if you had not done those things."

Hermione's lips tugged into a smile. She leaned across the desk, kissing Severus. He pulled her onto his desk, deepening the gesture, his tongue exploring her mouth hungrily. She slowly leaned back on his desk, pulling him down to her, her legs straddling his hips. Something was stirring deep in her groin, and with time left on their lunch break, she sought to tend to it.

She snaked her hand below his belt, stroking his manhood through his robes. He was not hard, but it did not discourage her; she fumbled with his pants, opening them and exposing his underwear beneath them.

"Right now, Hermione?" he growled into her mouth.

"Please," she gasped, breathless as her arousal began overwhelming her.

He waved his hand at the office door, locking it with a quiet click. As his trousers fell to his ankles, Hermione stroked his hardening organ though the fabric of his underwear. He began to tug at her clothes, pulling her shirt over her head and grasping at her breasts with his rough, calloused hands.

Quite suddenly, she pushed him back from her, sliding off the desk and lowering to her knees before the Potions Master. He watched her as she slowly removed his underwear to expose his organ to her. She wrapped her fingers around the thick shaft, stroking it tightly. Severus tipped his head back as she stroked him, releasing a groan. He gasped as she took him into her mouth.

She would not be pleasuring him for very long without him reciprocating it. As he felt himself coming closer and closer to his climax, he pulled her up to him. Laying her back on his desk, he slid his fingers along her hot, wet folds. She gasped as he touched her, rubbing at her. Leaning down to her, he pressed a kiss to her mouth, positioning himself at her entrance.

She pulled him into her, the length of him plunging deep within her. She let out a pleasured moan, rocking her hips into him, encouraging him to thrust into her. His movements into her were long and forceful, pressing her into the desk below him. His mouth was next to her ear, moaning with each thrust until he released inside her, her name lingering on his lips.

Hermione felt much better following her meeting with Severus. She left him, her face a flustered smile and he watched her leave, standing in the doorway of the office. Turning on his heel, he breathed deeply: his office reeked of sex and Hermione, and he was quite glad for it. Taking a seat behind his desk, he smirked as he spotted the mess they left on his desk, waving his wand to tidy up the surface.

The things that girl did to him, he could never explain it. But Severus Snape was not a man to complain, and that would hold true for his relationship with Hermione Granger as well.
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Matters of the Heart