Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Survivor's Guilt	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Lucius Views: 34080 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money of this dark dance of Harry Potter fanfic.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Chapter 18

Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Thanks, Tenchi, you're the best!

“Harry, you sure you don't want me to turn the air down?” Dudley asked, looking at his cousin who was wrapped up in an afghan with a warming charm on it.

“I'm fine,” Harry said with a shake of his head as he rubbed his eyes. “No sense in all of you getting too hot just because I’m cold.” Blinking rapidly, he was trying to focus on the TV. Right now, they were waiting for Draco to show up so they could start watching Dr. Who. Because Astoria was taking Scorpius to her parents for a couple days, Lucius asked that his son be included. Dudley didn't mind in the least. Like always, his thought was the more the merrier. Nor did Harry really care. It was his thought that he would probably sleep through much of it so he might as well let everyone else have fun.

Looking at the two, Lucius asked, “You sure you don't mind Draco coming over? We can always change plans if you've changed your mind.”

“Mate, no worries! He's more than welcome!” Dudley grinned.

“I don't care,” Harry told him, burrowing down in the afghan.

Pleased with that, Lucius nodded. Draco, like himself, had very little he could do anymore. With Astoria and Scorpius away, he thought it might do his son good to get out. Smirking, he said, “He's going to think I've gone around the twist with me liking Dr. Who.”

“Dr. Who is great,” Dudley chortled, grinning. “He'll catch onto it like you do, don't worry. Besides, even just getting out and talking a little will probably be fun for him.” Lucius had explained how his son's situation was like his own with parole so Dudley figured this would probably be fairly enjoyable. Lucius was about to say something else when there was a knock at the front door.

“That's probably him,” Dudley said, standing. Making his way in that direction, he called, “Coming!”

Standing at the door, Draco looked around at what he could see of the neighborhood, dubious about this whole scenario. From the looks of this area of town, it appeared to be a standard Muggle middle-class neighborhood in London, nothing special. Nor could he understand, really, why he was even here. He knew his father invited him to watch some kind of television show, but he was lost beyond that. Honestly? He couldn't figure out why he agreed to this! He assumed it was so that he could get out of the manor for a while. Though the place had many amusements, it seemed very lonely there when it was only himself and the house elves.

Straightening up when he heard the door start to open, he nodded to the smiling Dudley. “Hello, Dudley.”

“Hey, mate! Come on in! We were just waiting for you to start,” Dudley told him motioning him inside.

Nodding, Draco stepped in, looking around, puzzled by most of what he was seeing. After all, he hadn't dealt much with anything Muggle over his life.

Chuckling, having seen this reaction from Lucius when he first started coming over, Dudley told him, “Don't worry, you'll get used to it! We'll explain things as you encounter them.” Motioning him to follow, Dudley led him into the living room.

More comfortable with seeing his father there, he took a seat on the settee by Potter then tried to relax. Leaning back, he asked, “Alright, what is this Dr. Who thing anyway?”

After passing Draco a soda, Dudley grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, chuckling when Draco jumped slightly. “It's a telly show. You'll love it! Even your dad does.” Starting the DVD, he began to walk the youngest Malfoy through the premise for the show.

Nodding to acknowledge he was listening and trying to understand what Dudley was saying, Draco's eyes were wide as they were glued to the telly. He had seen one before, of course, but only brief glimpses. This was the first time that he had really been confronted with it and the visuals it could provide. Mesmerized by the flickering images, he pulled his eyes away and looked at his father, still slightly wide-eyed, to see an amused smirk there.

“I told you it was fascinating,” Lucius told him with a slightly smug tone.

“It is most interesting,” Draco conceded, nodding, turning back to the flickering images.

Rubbing his eyes and shaking his head, Harry said, “Another addict.”

“Of course,” Lucius said, smirking. “He is my son, so he does have good taste!”

Grinning at that, shaking his head, Draco glanced around. Maybe, just maybe, this might be fun.

A couple hours later, as everyone was eating the pizza that had just been delivered and Dudley was changing the DVD, the doorbell rang. Frowning slightly, Dudley didn't know who it could be. Shaking his head, he excused himself to go answer.

Opening the door, he wasn't all that thrilled to see his mum and dad there. Sighing, he motioned them in. After hearing the normal refrain from them, he lowered his voice then said, “No offense here, but I have company. You're more than welcome to come in, but not one word about freaks! Harry's one of them. The other two are also Wizards. They aren't going to take kindly to any of your comments about them!”

Mustache bristling, Vernon looked at his son then to his wife. Seeing a stern look from her, though she seemed less than pleased that Harry was among them, he sighed and nodded, “Alright. Understood. We mainly just came to check on you after the blow up the other night.”

Nodding, looking firm, Dudley told them, “Come on in, I'll introduce you to everyone. Just remember what I said! We're having fun and want it to stay that way.”

“Don't worry, Dudley,” Petunia said with a resigned sigh.

Giving both a firm look, Dudley nodded then backed up so his father could get his wheelchair in. Motioning them to follow, he led them into the living room. Looking around, giving the three there a look that said 'I'm sorry', he said, “It's mum and dad. They just popped over to check on me.”

Having heard enough about Dudley's parents, Lucius gave a stiff nod then glanced at Harry. For the last hour or so, Harry had been more with it than normal. No, he wasn't back to what he had been, but he was awake and slightly more alert, though a little dozy. Seeing the younger man rub his eyes and a weary expression on his face, he glanced to Dudley saw it too, then seemed to give his parents a warning look as they came in.

Once his parents were in and his mother seated in a chair by his, Dudley made introductions then sat down.

Though on edge dealing with two other grown Wizards aside from her nephew, Petunia tried to make nice. After all, the other two appeared to be very well dressed and obviously well to do. After a couple stilted questions about what they did, she looked puzzled when Draco told her he was a Healer. Looking at Dudley then to Harry, she was trying to figure out what that was.

“It's the Wizard equivalent of a doctor. Or similar. It's not exactly the same,” Harry explained, rubbing his eyes, sitting up a little.

Both her and Vernon's eyes widening, Petunia said, “Oh!” Looking at Lucius, she said, smiling slightly, “You must be very proud of him!”

“I am,” Lucius told her with a smirk and a nod.

Listening in, though not liking the stilted atmosphere of the room, Vernon asked, “What was it you do again, boy? You mentioned it, but I don't remember.”

“I work for the government as something called an Unspeakable,” Harry told him with a sigh, shaking his head at the name boy.

Looking at Potter, Draco asked, genuinely curious, “What part of the Department of Mysteries are you in?” He knew Potter had gone to work for that section, he just never heard what part.

“I work in the Death Chamber,” Harry said simply. “Or did. I'm on six months leave and will probably go elsewhere when I get back.”

Eyes widening, Draco lifted them and looked at his father, swallowing thickly. Shaking his head, he whispered, “The Death Chamber?”

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. Tossing the afghan off himself, he said, “Excuse me,” then stood and began to make his way down the hall towards the loo.

“What is the Death Chamber anyway?” Vernon asked, genuinely confused.

“Trust me, dad, you don't want to know,” Dudley told him, a sour look on his face, shivering at the memory of that place and how it felt.

“The Department of Mysteries is a section of the government that studies the greatest mysteries of our time. Those that work there are called Unspeakables,” Lucius explained simply, giving Draco a helpless shrug at the look that was shot his way. “The section Harry works in studies death.”

“Oh! Alright,” Vernon said, nodding, getting the brief explanation. “So, it's a good, steady job then! With the government no less! Those are always good ones to have.”

Petunia had tuned out the conversation when she saw her nephew stand and walk down the hall. Well, it was more like weave down the hall, hand on the wall to keep himself upright and, it appeared, to aid in not falling over. Brow furrowed, wondering what was going on, she looked at Dudley then asked, keeping her voice down, “He looks sick! Is he on some kind of drugs or something?”

“Harry is sick, mum,” Dudley told her simply. “What you see is from the medicine they are giving him.”

Brow furrowing more, Petunia looked down the hall again then asked, quietly, “He's—is he going to be alright?”

“Eventually,” Dudley told her, looking down. “You just have to give it some time.” Looking at his dad, he put on a firm look then said, softly, “His name is Harry, dad. He's the same age as me and isn't a boy anymore.”

Mustache bristling at being reprimanded by his son, Vernon shot him a sharp look. However, he also glanced around at the other two in the room then gave a brief nod, though looking sour.

While curious about the interaction between the other three, Draco looked at his dad and asked, quietly, “How long was he working in that damnable chamber? That--,” trailing off, he let the rest remain unsaid. However, if Potter was dealing with depression, working in that damned chamber didn't help anything at all.

“Years,” Lucius told him softly, a sour look on his face.

“Years? They are supposed to rotate them out every so often. At least that's what I've always been told. They aren't supposed to let them work there for long because of the reactions to that damned Veil.” Draco said, looking confused.

“They didn't,” Lucius sighed with a shake of his head. “They let him keep working around it, despite the history that was already there.”

Thinking that over, Draco was confused for a few moments then his eyes widened as he remembered. A horror struck look on his face, he whispered, “Isn't that where his godfather died in that battle?”

“It is,” Lucius told him, rubbing his eyes. “Bella—well, he went through the Veil.”

Eyes wide, Petunia listened then, confused by what was said, looked at her son for an explanation. Seeing the look on Dudley's face, she asked, “You mean that Sirius Black? Wasn't he his godfather? He was murdered, wasn't he? That's what we were told.”

“Yeah, mum, he was Harry's godfather,” Dudley sighed, not wanting to go down that road with them.

“What do you mean, 'went through the Veil'?” Vernon asked, genuinely puzzled once more. He was finding the talk interesting, but was lost about most of it.

Sighing, not wanting to explain it, Lucius said, simply, “There is an archway with a veil covering it. It's the doorway to death. If you fall through it, you've died and never come back.”

“And, trust me, you never want to be around that thing,” Dudley grumbled, rubbing his arms at the memory.

Brow furrowed, Vernon looked at him then to his wife, before looking back, “Why study that? Death is death. I mean--” Stopping, he shrugged.

“Death, and what happens after, is considered one of the greatest mysteries of our time,” Lucius told him.

“Well, I understand that it could be, considering how so many talk about another life after this one. I don't see how you can prove it though,” Petunia said softly.

“It's pretty much proven,” Harry said as he came back in. He caught the last part of the conversation so he knew what was being discussed. Assuming it was still about his job, he pressed on as he sat down, rubbing his eyes, “If you're in the Death Chamber, you can hear the murmurs from the other side. It's not a trick of your imagination as we've been able to verify it and record them, well, in a way. Some just hear them better than others, like those that have been more affected by death over their life or seeing someone die.”

Shivering at that, looking at Potter, Draco then lifted his eyes and looked at his father, swallowing thickly. That—oh, that didn't sound good at all!

Shaking her head, looking at her nephew, Petunia took in his appearance. For the first time, she realized how sick he looked and how thin he was. Watching him wrap the afghan around himself again as he shivered, she asked, quietly, “Harry? Are you going to be fine?”

“Nothing to worry about,” he told her with a dismissive wave. “I'll get better.”

Nodding, looking at Dudley, who had an unreadable expression on his face, she then glanced to her husband, who, too, seemed to be giving Harry a concerned look.

Not sure what to make of the conversation or how bad his nephew looked, Vernon just looked at him, brow furrowed. Something wasn't right here. Nor did he like the way the conversation was headed. However, he asked, “Do you study that codswhallop like ghosts and that too? I mean, really, all those people professing to see them! A bunch of hooey if you ask me!”

Unable to help himself, Harry grinned slightly, especially after he heard Draco chuckle and a snort of amusement from Lucius, “No, we don't. Ghosts are real. We don't need to study them.” Looking at his uncle, seeing an astonished look there, he shook his head, then said, “Ask Lucius and Draco. At school, we even had house ghosts. They had the Bloody Baron and I had Nearly Headless Nick. The other two house ghosts were the Fat Friar and the Grey Lady. There were all kinds of ghosts in the school. We even had Peeves, the resident poltergeist.”

Unable to help himself, Dudley grinned, “Really? That had to be great! Real ghosts?”

“Oh, yes,” Lucius snorted, looking amused. “Ghosts abound, no need to prove them. Same with many other things that most Muggles think are fantasy.”

“Like dragons,” Harry said, looking up.

“Mate! I want to see a dragon!” Dudley told Harry firmly. He had since learning they were real. Harry had told him about them and he had seen the figurine Harry still had of one. Since then, he was dying to see them.

Snorting, Harry shook his head and looked at his cousin then said, “Next time we see Charlie, talk to him and see if he can't take you to the reserve. He might be able to manage that.” What he didn't mention was that Dudley had a huge crush on Charlie and that was part of the dragon obsession.

With a knowing grin, Dudley nodded then said, tone smooth, “I might have to do that!”

“Dragons—they are real?” Vernon asked, astonished, looking at his wife. “As in huge, belching flames, violent and all that?”

“Very real,” Lucius told him with a smirk.

“And, trust me, they are nasty and evil tempered,” Harry snorted, shaking his head.

Snickering, amused expression on his face, Draco asked, “Didn't they ever look at your Care books? The pictures in them alone would have been enough.”

“I did, finally,” Dudley grinned. “It was great! Well, all but that one that tried to eat you. The Monster Book of Monsters, I think it was. Wasn't real thrilled with that one.”

“No, they never did,” Harry said softly with a shake of his head. “Dudley did a few years ago. He likes them. Thought it was great.”

“Yeah, that biting one was bad,” Draco smirked, shaking his head.

“All that is really real, then?” Petunia asked, looking around. “I mean, we knew some was, like the broom and that Dementor.” Stopping, she shivered at that.

“It's real,” Harry nodded.

“Some of it's great, like butterbeer,” Dudley grinned, trying to change the topic, not sure how well Harry would react to some of the trip down memory lane.

“What is butterbeer?” Vernon asked, looking between the lot of them.

Looking at Draco, Dudley asked, “How much sugar is in butterbeer? Dad's diabetic and has to watch that, so I don't want to let him try it if it's got too much in it.”

Looking at the man in the wheelchair, now understanding why he probably had lost one of his legs, Draco said, tone thoughtful, “I think he can have it. The sugar count is almost non-existent. It's flavored with other things. No, I don't think he'll have a problem.”

Nodding, Dudley grinned then stood, “Give me a minute to get you one. You'll love it, dad!”

Watching Dudley go, Vernon looked at his nephew, confused, “What is that? I mean, is it beer beer or something like root beer?”

“Neither, really. It's something unto itself. Kinda' like the Wizarding version of soda. There is a small bit of alcohol in it, but not much. More like it's from the flavoring, like what you get from butterscotch extract. It's hard to describe, but you'll like it,” Harry told him softly.

“Oh,” Vernon said, looking to his equally confused wife.

Coming back in, a grinning Dudley gave each of his parents a bottle then sat down. “Lucius and I do a trade for it. I get this and give him Coke.”

Though dubious, Vernon took a sip to be polite, however his eyes widened and he took another bigger drink. “Oh, this is good! Very good! And not much sugar you say?” Smacking his lips a little, he drank some more.

“No, not enough to cause a problem,” Draco told him. “It's not healthy, something like junk food, I think you call it, but it should be safe.”

“You may have to get me this, Dudley,” Vernon chortled, drinking some more.

Looking up at the ceiling and shaking her head, Petunia took a sip then her eyes widened, “Oh, it is good!”

“It's even better when served on tap, like at some of the pubs,” Harry told them, taking a sip of his Coke.

Nodding, Petunia looked at her nephew, brow furrowing again, then asked, softly “Harry, are you sure you're fine? You look really sick.” The relationship there wasn't the greatest even to this day, but she was concerned. They were still in the process of trying to repair all of what was done over the years, though not making much progress. However, what she was seeing bothered her a great deal.

“Nothing to worry about,” Harry told her shortly, rubbing his eyes. He was trying to stay awake, but could feel a nap coming on.

“You look like death warmed over,” Vernon told him bluntly, eyeing him critically while taking another sip of his butterbeer.

Shrugging, Harry said nothing.

“Why don't we arrange another dinner for you to come along to,” Petunia said, hoping Harry would take her up on the offer so they could work on the issues that were there.

Looking over at her, Harry gave an internal sigh. He hated those things because they never ended well. Thinking, he rubbed his eyes then said, “Give it some time then go ahead. Right now—it's not a good time for that unless you want me falling asleep in my plate. Besides, Lucius is staying with me right now at my Healers request.”

“Let Dudley know when you feel better and I'll set something up,” she told him, trying to smile.

Nodding, Harry said nothing.

About an hour later, Petunia and Vernon finally left. Shaking his head, Dudley sighed then said, quietly, “Sorry. I thought I made sure they knew I had plans.”

“Nothing to worry about, Dudley,” Lucius said with a dismissive wave. Snorting, he smirked a little, “It isn't like we have anything pressing to attend to tonight!”

Looking over at Harry, who had dozed back off, he shook his head then shrugged, “I know.” Grabbing the remote, he turned the DVD back on and settled back.

Looking at Potter, Draco then glanced at Dudley before asking, quietly, “How long did he work in that chamber, do you know?”

Sighing, Dudley said, shaking his head, “Since he started there. Ten years.”

“Ten years?” Draco inquired, tone slightly squeaky, looking at his father. “Bloody hell!”

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Lucius shook his head. He knew it had been years, but hadn't realized how many. “That has not helped anything,” he commented softly.

Looking at his father then to Dudley, he asked, focusing more on his father, “Can you really hear the voices from the other side? I mean, it's one of those legends they talk about, but I’ve never encountered anyone that's been around it.” He knew his father had been in that damned battle and thought he might know.

“You can,” Lucius confirmed in a low voice, shivering at the memory of what he heard when wrestling with Harry.

Shaking his head, shivering himself, Draco commented, “That would be enough to drive anyone mental!”

“I agree,” Lucius said then wanted to change the topic. Looking at Dudley, he said, “Harry mentioned some kind of books they had made into a movie and said you had them. Lord of the Rings, I believe he said they were called.”

Liking the change of topic, Dudley grinned, “I do! All of them. Why?”

“From his description, it sounds like something enjoyable. I was wondering, mayhaps, since Draco is at a loose end this weekend, if we could gather tomorrow and watch them.” Looking at his son, he explained, “Harry said they have all manner of magical creatures in them and a substantial, good plot. Such as elves, goblins, trolls, all kinds of things. He told me they are quite good, and we would enjoy them.”

Intrigued, Draco asked, “They are good?”

“They aren't good, they are great!” Dudley enthused. “They aren't up to the books, of course, as movies never are, but they are brilliant! Yeah, if you want, we can do that. I don't have any plans for the weekend. We can easily watch those.” Looking at Lucius, he said, “If you decide you like them, talk to Harry. He has all the books, including the one right before it; The Hobbit. They are a wonderful read and are considered classics to most.”

Liking that idea, Lucius looked at his son then asked, “Would you like to partake, Draco?”

Without even thinking about it, Draco nodded, “I—yes, I would. It sounds enjoyable.”

“Great! We'll have some fun,” Dudley grinned, settling back. “You'll love them! They are called fantasy, of course, at least to us since we're told those things don't exist, but Harry said even with what he knows, that some of them are accurate and it's a good story. He really likes them.”

Though he had been dubious going in, wondering if he would enjoy himself, Draco was finding he was. Before Dudley's parents had come in, they had been having a great conversation, laughing and joking around. Since then, it's been good as well, despite Potter being out of it. In fact, he was really having fun.

Smirking, looking at Draco, Lucius said, “Maybe we can start including you in some of this. The history—well, it's not the best with Harry, this I admit, but he and I have overcome. I imagine you can as well.”

“Harry's good about second chances,” Dudley said quietly, with a firm nod. “And it's good by me! The more, the merrier!” Looking at Draco, he said, grinning, “You can even bring your son along if you want. I've had Teddy over here countless times. We even have a ton of toys around for him to entertain himself. They are our version, of course, but Harry's charmed them to do some strange things.” Looking sheepish, he grinned then said, rubbing the back of his neck, “The stuffed dragon is actually in my room. He made it to where it blows smoke and roars, walking around. It's too neat to just toss in box.”

Nodding slowly, Draco said, “I think I would like that. Astoria has family she sees and I don't get out much. This could be enjoyable.”

“We find all manner of fun things to partake in,” Lucius said, nodding. “It's not like what we used to do, but it's just as enjoyable in a different way is all.”

“Yes, I think it's something I would like,” Draco nodded, smirking. “You've had Harry's godson around then? So you know what magical children are like.”

“Countless times,” Dudley assured him with a wave. “He's a great kid. Full of energy, that's for sure. Nope, nothing yours will do will surprise me!”

“Yes, this could be a good thing,” Draco nodded, liking the idea the more he thought about it.

About one in the morning, after getting to Grimmauld Place from Dudley's and changing into his night attire, Lucius stepped into Harry's room to check on him before going to bed. Harry had taken the potions he needed before bedtime and would be asleep shortly, but he was finally starting to adjust to them and was a little more 'with it', so he wanted to make sure he was fine.

Looking at the balcony, he saw Harry standing there, leaning against the jamb of the door. Stepping closer, he asked, “All is well, Harry?”

Turning his head to glance over his shoulder at Lucius, Harry nodded, rubbing his eyes. He was tired so he would be asleep shortly, but there was a good breeze and it felt pleasant. “I'm fine, nothing to worry about.”

Walking over and standing by the younger man, Lucius looked out over the darkened park then asked, quietly, “Your aunt and uncle didn't upset you, did they? I know the relationship there isn't the best. Hopefully, Draco didn't either.”

“No, nothing like that,” Harry said. Snorting, he then added, “Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were actually on their best behavior tonight. They aren't usually like that. Dudley must have said something to them.”

Nodding, understanding, Lucius said nothing. He assumed Harry was fine as not much would bother him at this juncture, but he wanted to make sure of that. It was more for his piece of mind than anything else.

Looking at the older man, Harry considered the situation, or at least as much as he could with as wonky as he was right now. He was getting better as he got used to the potions, but he was still off and everything was like wading through a thick swamp of wool or something exhausting to deal with. Sighing, he said, softly, “I appreciate you staying with me; I want you to know that.”

“I don't mind in the least,” Lucius said truthfully, looking at him.

“Look, I promise I won't try anything again. If you want to go home, I'll manage,” Harry told him, not liking that Lucius was putting his life on hold so much for him.

“It's no hardship, I assure you,” Lucius told him firmly. Lips quirking slightly, he said, lowering his voice, “Honestly, I rather enjoy it. It's nice to have company around all the time, even if you do sleep most of the time. I take no issue with staying here, Harry. Besides, it helps my piece of mind.” Stopping, he waited for Harry's response.

Looking at Lucius, Harry saw the expression and believed him then nodded. “Alright, works for me. I just don't want you to feel like it's something you have to do. I'll manage. I always have.”

“I assumed,” Lucius nodded. Putting a hand on Harry's shoulder, he said, “I rather enjoy it. So, it works for both of us.” Smirking, he snorted, “Besides, it's more fun than my flat. You and Dudley being around has made it to where I think being alone all the time again might make me slightly barmy. No, this is good with me.”

Nodding, Harry looked at him again then sighed. “I think I better lay down before I fall down.”

Snorting, amused, Lucius said, “Yes, probably wise!”

Yawning and stretching, Harry told him, “Good night, Lucius.”

“Good night, Harry,” Lucius said softly, walking towards the door. Turning and watching as Harry crawled into bed, he nodded, pleased. At least the young man was adjusting to the potions. He now just wondered how bad it might get once he grew accustomed to their effects.

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Survivor's Guilt