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The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Chapter Eighteen – The N.E.W.T. Practical

The weeks following the sealing of their bond were blissful. Hermione enjoyed waking up to the same handsome face each morning and Draco couldn’t complain when they regularly participated in acts of afternoon delight. Hermione found, as Easter break approached leaving only a few more weeks left to study before their N.E.W.T.s, her magical power had more than doubled. She was performing new and devastatingly difficult spells with only a couple of practices. She was once again excelling at school and she couldn’t help but wonder if somehow their bond or the pregnancy had increased her magic. The decision was made that the two of them would return to Malfoy Manor over the holiday, and the owl requesting their presence from Narcissa seemed to hint that a surprise waited.

Thus, it was with butterflies in her stomach and dread filling her heart, in which she boarded the Hogwarts Express holding her husband’s hand. Their relationship had gotten out to the school; however, no one knew the full extent of it except for the exclusive few who’d been privy since winter break. She could hear Draco’s questions in her mind and she finally sighed, “Yes, I’m worried about what kind of surprise your parents have waiting for us. For all you know, it could be a really ghastly wedding dress that I’m expected to wear because it’s been worn by Malfoy brides for centuries.”

Draco burst out laughing, “We’re rich, Hermione. We’re not a family of sentimental Hufflepuffs. We have expectations and superior taste. Like I’d want my wife to wear some hand me down wedding dress.” He rolled his eyes and wrinkled his nose in distaste, “I couldn’t even imagine you in some yellow-aged-lace thing from the turn of the century or Merlin knows what’s hidden up in the attic.”

Hermione crossed her arms, “I’ll have you know passing down priceless heirlooms is magical in itself. I cannot believe you’re so vain that you’d have an issue with me wearing a family heirloom. What if I wanted to wear my mother’s wedding dress for this ceremony? What if I expected you to wear a kilt like my father did to their wedding.” His eyes widened and he began to choke on his own saliva, which only caused her to chuckle, “What we go to school in Scotland? What’s your aversion to kilts? Did I mention that my mother is Scottish and it was expected for my parents to have a traditional Celtic wedding?”

“There is no way I’m wearing a kilt. I’m not some guard at the Muggle Queen’s manor. I will not wear a kilt like some common Scotsman. I’m a Malfoy, it’s beneath me.”

A mischievous twinkle lit her honey brown eyes, “You better watch it; your true arrogant colors are showing. I believe that your mother and I are planning this wedding. Well, mostly she’s planning this wedding, but if I share my desire to continue my family traditions with her. Don’t think you won’t be wearing a kilt like me father before you!”

Hermione smirked as Draco looked away. He stared out the window with his bottom lip stuck out in a delectable pout. His arms were crossed and Hermione couldn’t help but sending mental images of him wearing a kilt just to rub salt in the wound.

Hermione followed Draco up the stairs of the Manor after arriving from King’s Cross. They were greeted at the door by a well-dressed house elf and their presence was announced. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever get used to that type of entry. However, it was the couple that appeared behind her in-laws that had shocked her most. They’d found her parents and the two were running toward her with open arms. She couldn’t fight back her tears as her mother embraced her, “Mum, I thought we’d never find you.”

“Honey, you know that if you hadn’t made us forget, we would’ve returned much sooner than we did. We were fortunate enough to be visited by Lucius who set everything right and requested that we stay here to help with the wedding preparation. Your father and I were a bit shocked to discover that you were marrying your childhood bully and that we missed out on over a year of your life. Oh my baby is expecting and I can’t wait to be a grandmum.”

The pregnant witch couldn’t help but chuckle and look over her mother’s shoulder, “I’m guessing you’ve filled them on everything.”

Narcissa nodded, “We’ve enjoyed getting to know the parents of our new daughter.”

She rested her head on her mother’s shoulder basking in the warmth and love that could only exist within her mother’s arms, “So Mum, are you helping to plan the public ceremony?”

Jean nodded, “Of course, I knew that we couldn’t allow our traditions to die. You’re our only daughter after all, so we wanted to make sure everything was properly represented.”

She lifted her head, “So, you’ve taken care of the groom and groomsmen’s outfits.”

“Of course sweetie but I have left the bride’s maids and wedding dress to Narcissa. Of course, the dress is something that you’ll have to choose yourself, but she’s the one responsible for choosing the boutique we’ll visit.”

Narcissa spoke up, “I think we may have forgotten to tell you, but we made an appointment with a healer at St. Mungo’s for a checkup tomorrow.”

The head girl smiled, “So, does this mean that all of the grandparents are coming as well.”

Narcissa nodded, “Yes, but the grandfathers are going to wait outside of the room. We grandmothers can’t wait to see the baby. They’re able to project a picture of the baby when you’re this far along. Have you guys started to talk about names?”

Hermione shook her head, “I didn’t want to start thinking about that until I could discuss it with my parents. I know that we’ll continue with the Black tradition of naming children after the stars, but I also wanted to continue with the Greek name tradition from my father’s side.”

Narcissa’s eyes glistened, as she wrapped her arms around the petite witch in a tight hug, “I’m so happy that you’re keeping that tradition alive.”

Hermione laughed, “I was good friends with your cousin Sirius, do you seriously – no pun intended – think I’d let that tradition die? Plus I’ve always loved looking up at the constellations. I mean I didn’t just take Astronomy for the additional N.E.W.T., I took it because I love learning about the night’s sky.”

The pregnant witch sat on the examination table looking around the sterile room with concern. She was surprised about the Muggle integration occurring at St. Mungo’s, as she wiggled the paper made crinkling noises. She couldn’t help but wonder why they decided to use the paper instead of the usual cleaning spells. Perhaps they were finding that certain individuals shouldn’t be exposed to magic and thus the paper prevented that exposure when necessary. She was grasping for straws but felt more comfortable with the simple details. Maybe they created the Muggle friendly examination rooms, so Muggleborns and half-bloods would feel more comfortable when going to the hospital for nonemergency reasons.

She tapped her fingers on the paper as she looked at Narcissa and her mother who were sitting in the chairs on the side of the table before peering back over at the pacing Draco. She noticed the tense line in his shoulders even though he had his arms behind his back as he walked from one side of the exam room to the other. She was relieved that he looked just as nervous as she felt.

Her attention was drawn back to Narcissa when the woman cleared her throat, “Draco, sweetheart, please do sit down. Your pacing is making us all nervous.”

He stopped and crossed his arms over his over his chest and dropped one of his shoulders. He looked as if he was going to make a biting retort, when the door opened and a female healer walked into the room in her puke green robes. Her red hair was pulled up into a tight pony tail and she was looking down at a chart as she walked across the room. Her lavender colored eyes popped up and widened as she recognized the woman before her, “When I saw Hermione Malfoy on the chart, I never thought it’d be you! Oh my goodness, the best friend of Harry Potter is in the maternity ward. Merlin, are you expecting?”

Draco nearly pulled his hair in frustration, “Are you daft woman? Why the hell do you think she’s here?” He turned to his mother with a pleading tone, “Please tell me we’ve had this healer sign a bloody confidentiality agreement that prevents her from going to the Prophet or Witch Weekly with this news.”

Narcissa regally stood and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Draco, you need to calm down. I understand that you’re concerned about the baby, but resorting to the spoiled brat you were when you were younger doesn’t help anything.”

Hermione tried to suppress the chuckle that threatened to break free at the properly mollified look that crossed Draco’s face.

His head fell, “I’m sorry Mother. Perhaps I should take a seat.”

The healer smiled, “I assure you Mr. Malfoy, we understand the need for discretion here. I’m excited to be serving such an honored war hero.” She cleared her throat, “Now, I see that you are here for a routine scan of the little witch or wizard growing in your womb. So, why don’t we get started so daddy can stop having a panic attack?”

The healer pulled out her bone white wand and started chanting. Everyone’s eyes centered on the iridescent shimmer that began to form above Hermione’s stomach. It quickly took more shape as the image resembled a 3D Muggle ultrasound. However, instead of the image being limited to a screen it rotated like it was an actual form. The pregnant witch felt her eyes water as she looked up on her fully formed child. The scan twisted and turned and soon Hermione was staring at two babies causing her to gasp, “Please tell me that’s a duplicate image and that I’m not pregnant with twins.”

The redhead chuckled, “No, Hermione those are your babies. It seems that you’re having twin boys.”

The bookworm shook her head, “Cissy, we may have to use concealment spells during the wedding because I have a feeling that I will be larger than we expected for the public event. We don’t need someone saying that the reason why Draco and I are marrying is because I got knocked up. We know that our bonding occurred before for the conception, but since you wanted to publically announce our engagement and have a proper ceremony, we have more to discuss.”

The older blond seemed to ignore the concern as she clapped her hands to her chest, “We’re having two grandchildren at once. I’m so excited; we have to go tell the boys.” She gave a dismissive wave as Jean followed her, “Don’t worry about the wedding, we still have plenty of time to plan it.”

Hermione was still in shock when she arrived back at the castle after the holiday break. She didn’t know how much the twins would affect her practical portion of her N.E.W.T.s and the exams were fast approaching. She knew at the same time that additional stress would not be good for her babies. Her mum was so excited to be a grandmum. She had to do everything right, but at the same time her heart was beating rapidly, she was feeling like she was drowning, and having difficulty breathing when she even thought about the assessments. Her mind was filled with so many worries that she was having trouble sleeping and waking up from nightmares that had Bellatrix torturing her during her potions practical.

It had gone on for a couple of weeks before she was cornered by Ginny, Luna, Theo, and Draco. They all called an intervention and demanded that she see the nurse before things got any worse. After having a thorough examination with the medical witch, she was given some pregnancy safe sleeping potions and the odd prescription of being intimate with her partner at least twice a week to help relieve her stress. The matron went on to explain that she usually didn’t see it appropriate to suggest such illicit activities to occur on school grounds, but that she and Draco were both of age, married, and already expecting their first child. Hermione didn’t have the heart to correct the woman and state that they were actually expecting twins. Something that hadn’t occurred in the Malfoy line in generations, but then again thanks to the curse each generation after Marcus only had one male child.

So, it was because of these events that the usually revision obsessed witch was walking away from her book littered common room to molest her husband the night before their first exams. She found the obnoxious blond sleeping without a care in the world, which only angered her more and made her unconcerned with waking him. She placed her hand on her small baby bump as she approached the bed. A small smirk lit her face in the moonlit room, as she quickly relieved herself of her clothes. Her light footsteps were barely heard as she reached the bed and climbed under the sheets in nothing but that in which she came into the world. She ran her fingers along the defined muscles that made up the exquisitely exposed chest of her husband, and before he could fully awaken, she moved to pin him as she flicked her wand to remove his pajama pants.

She moaned at the feel of his silky skin as she grinded against him. She didn’t realize how randy she was until she had the sleeping Draco below her. She licked her lips as she looked over his exposed flesh and couldn’t stop herself from licking and nibbling his bare chest. She felt him shudder and gasp moments before his eyes burst opened, “I’m guessing you fancy a shag?”

She licked her lips and simply nodded as she reached between them to position his waiting manhood. She bent over and captured his lips as she felt the wonders of him inside her. She focused fully upon the pleasure of each movement, the tingles as he ran his milky fingers along her spine, and the warmth pooling within as he nipped at her exposed neck. The rocking of her hips quickened and she felt the building pressure, which only promised unspeakable bliss. Soon it was all over and she sighed in relief. She cuddled next to her spent husband laying her head on his chest and welcomed the sleep that only total exhaustion could bring.

It was with the repeating of the activities of the night before the first exam that helped the frizzy hair witch make it through the tedious exam week by relieving the building stress. She was glowing with overflowing happiness each morning but by the final exam day, their activities seemed to take their toll on her blond husband. Then again she couldn’t be sure as he had never really been much of a morning person. Their final exam was for Defense Against the Dark Arts and Hermione knew she’d excel at the practical portion, however Draco showed his concern with her dueling. He seemed to fear that she’d be hit with something that could harm her and the babies. She appeased his concern by promising to advise the tester of her condition.

She was surprised to see Bill standing before her when she reached the room. The dragon tooth earring was swinging from his left ear as he smiled at her. She chuckled, “Well, I guess I won’t have to inform you of my condition after all. So, I’m guessing this practical requires a duel. Are you my opponent or the assessor?”

Bill pressed his lips together, “I’m your opponent and I will take your condition into consideration.” He pointed to an older witch with a clipboard, “She will be the one grading it.”

The woman looked up from her clipboard and cleared her throat, “Alright, take your dueling positions. I will be evaluating your defensive and offensive abilities.”

Hermione bowed to Bill before starting their duel. She decided to show her silent casting as well as her wandless abilities, which had both increased with the additional magic surrounding her because of the twins. Bill sent the first spell at her, which she quickly blocked before casting a shielding charm around her before he popped off a couple more. She dropped the shield before sending a silent disarming spell with her left hand, which had so much power it caused Bill to fly across the hall, she quickly caught his flying wand, and ran to check on how he was faring. She handed back his wand, “Here Bill. I’m sorry about that disarming spell. I guess I’m still getting used to my new power levels.”

He shook his head, “Yes well, fighting a pregnant witch can always have horrible consequences. I remember some of the magic my mother performed when she was pregnant with the Twins.” The smile dropped from his face as he thought of Fred.

The older witch approached them, “Thank you William. If you could assist with the next person while I finish Ms. Granger’s assessment, I’d greatly appreciate it.” Bill nodded and left Hermione with the woman with the clipboard. The woman then looked back down at the clipboard, “Okay, so I understand that you are a member of the Golden Trio as well as Dumbledore’s army. I wanted to test your ability to cast wards and I couldn’t help but wonder if you have the ability to cast a corporal Patronus like your friend Harry Potter.”

Hermione chuckled as she went around a small circle and casted the overly familiar wards wordlessly she’d cast numerous times she, Harry, and Ron were on the run the previous year. The woman took her wand and probed them as she took notes with her feathered quill. She then looked up and raised an eyebrow as to ask about the Patronus. Hermione smiled and lifted her wand capturing the thought of how Draco made her fill before speaking, “Expecto Patronum.”

She watched the white light burst from her wand and was expecting to see her familiar otter; however, she was shocked when a twisting winged serpent slithered through the air. She couldn’t help but gasp at the new shape and tried to remember if she had casted the charm since they bonded.

The woman looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, “I was under the impression that your Patronus was that of an otter. I couldn’t imagine why a Gryffindor would have a serpentine one.”

Hermione chuckled, “The announcement hasn’t been made yet, but Draco Malfoy and I will be having our engagement party here shortly. I cannot help but wonder if our relationship is what changed its shape. Was there anything else I need to demonstrate?”

The woman shook her head and continued to write on her clipboard as she dismissed Hermione with her hand. She walked out of the great hall and noticed Draco waiting in the chairs waiting for his name to be called. She chuckled as her Patronus followed her out of the room and started circling Draco. He raised an eyebrow, “What’s this?”

She smiled, “It seems the corporal form of my Patronus changed since our bonding.”

His eyes widened and she dispersed her serpent before leaving her husband to wait for his final exam. She wondered how well the engagement announcement would go over in the next Daily Prophet. Narcissa had sent notice that it would appear in the issue following their final exam because she didn’t want them hounded when they so focused on their N.E.W.T.s.

A/N: Okay, I’m going to let you know that one of the twins will be named Scorpius Hyperion, but I want to see if anyone can guess the name Hermione picks out for his twin. I will give you a couple of clues; his first name also follows the tradition of giving astronomical names. It alludes to something that was important to Dumbledore’s side of the war almost a mascot of sorts. His middle name is the Greek name of a Macedonian king known for conquering the ancient lands surrounding the Adriatic Sea, as well as, Egypt.
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The Joke Book Trap