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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
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Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Chapter 18: Unravelling

When they had returned to Snape's quarters, they had gone to bed, with Snape resting his back against Lupin's chest and Lupin holding on to Snape more tightly than usual. Now that Lupin's possessive temper seemed to have lifted, Lupin asked Snape again about his time at Malfoy Manor. Snape wondered whether telling him would be a good idea, not just because of his werewolf temperament now he had been Claimed, but also because he had used Dark magic. He decided to go with it and told him everything.

Lupin's eyes widened quite noticeably when Snape told him about Narcissa's reaction. "I suppose really, we should have guessed he had .. shall we call them ... proclivities ... I mean, what man primps his hair the way Lucius Malfoy always has, except perhaps for Gilderoy Lockhart? And I can certainly envisage him in a gimp suit," Lupin stated, chuckling.

"A gimp suit, Remus? Care to explain?" Snape feigned ignorance.

Lupin laughed heartily. "Come now, Severus, you are no shrinking violet, especially with the company you've kept in the past and, after all, you do live in a dungeon." Snape grumbled at the implication even though Lupin was still chuckling. They lay companionably for a while.

"Do you hate me for using such a Dark curse against Malfoy?" Snape suddenly asked directly, looking up at him.

"Sectumsempra was always a great favourite of yours, wasn't it? I should be repulsed by it. I want to be. I'm not." He kissed Snape. "He wove a repeating Cruciatus curse against me personally, Severus. As torture goes, he got off lightly. Well, perhaps not when you invaded his mind though. Did you hurt him when you did that?" Snape nodded and felt a slight flinch in Lupin at this. "Perhaps I am Darker than I realised," Lupin said quietly. A look of concern flitted across his features.

"You're not, I promise you. You are still Light, and pure in my eyes," Snape murmured, kissing under Lupin's jaw.

"Not pure, Severus, surely," Lupin chuckled, stroking the side of Snape's torso, where he knew Snape was so sensitive and that always made him arch and moan. "Perhaps, these are our true colours: the Dark wizard and his werewolf." Snape felt a thrill shoot down his neck to his groin. Even that imagery excited him.

"I didn't cover myself in glory tonight with what I did to you," Lupin said sorrowfully. "How can I judge you? It is part of being a werewolf. Once I have Claimed my lover, any insecurity such as possessiveness, becomes magnified and the wolf's cruelty can come through. I'm sorry I hurt you. My instincts overwhelmed me and I needed to Reclaim those parts of you he touched. I couldn't stop myself for a while. I try so hard not to give in to the wolf, Severus, but some things are too strong." He was holding Snape tightly, as if he might take flight.

"You are no common or garden werewolf, Lupin. You are the only werewolf I know of who, before wolfsbane, shut himself away to endure twice as much pain by inflicting bodily harm on himself because he didn't allow himself to run free! You expect too much of yourself. As for your possessiveness, I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked and afraid, but," he snorted, "I don't think you will have much reason to fret. You will not find that I am universally worshipped or admired!" Snape held the arms that held him. "I would still rather be Claimed by you than not," he said quietly.

Lupin ran his fingers across the many bites on Snape's neck, shoulders and chest. "Shall I get the balm to heal these?" Lupin asked.

"Leave them," Snape said, stroking Lupin's hand, knowing at an instinctive level that they were important to Lupin, important to his Claim.

"Thank you Severus," Lupin whispered, lowering himself to nuzzle and kiss Snape's neck, and Snape believed he heard a slight sob in Lupin's throat.

"It is a question of timing that concerns me," Dumbledore stated. "Our unravelling enchantment is complete and I am satisfied that it will work. However, the enchantment continues to be chanted after the Thrall lifts to its completion which means there is a hiatus to casting the Libera Me, which is the counter-curse to the Mind Breaker. As soon as the Thrall lifts, your mind will break if someone is not there to cast Libera Me counter-curse. There must be no hiatus between the two. My suggestion would be to have another caster in attendance," Dumbledore informed them. "I was considering asking Bill Weasley as he has recent experience of this curse."

"Can Lupin not do it?" Snape frowned.

"The Thrall has a physical presence within you both and will literally unravel from its intertwining within your cores, leaving you both quite weakened to begin with. Remus would not be able to do it for some time," Dumbledore said, in measured tones, trying to soothe Snape's visibly growing outrage.

"I hardly want one of my previous students relieving me of a sexual bond, Albus. The idea is horrific! The last time I saw Mr. Weasley, I was tutoring him for his NEWT Potions. It is simply unthinkable," Snape's voice was rising, utterly mortified.

"Is this really an appropriate time for this misanthropy, Severus?" Albus chided.

"I am entitled to my privacy!" Snape shouted.

"Mr Weasley is a professional curse-breaker, Severus. He will respect your and Remus's privacy," Dumbledore tried to reason, but Snape was implacable.

"No, Albus, no second caster. That is my final word." Snape turned on his heel and swept out of the Headmaster's office, only stopping at the base of the stairs to wait impatiently for Lupin.

"Very well Severus," Lupin said calmly, as they fell into step with each other. "What of another caster? Filius perhaps?"

"No!" Snape yelled with horror. "No-one! No-one else must know." He breathed deeply to calm himself. "Would you expose my innermost feelings and actions to the world to gawk at? Isn't it bad enough that Albus and Poppy know, and heaven knows who else?"

"Are you ashamed of our relationship, Severus?" Lupin said quietly as they walked side by side.

"Never, Remus," Snape responded fervently. "But I am a private man. If a Weasley knows our business, the world may as well know." He cursed himself. One look at Lupin's face told him he'd hurt Lupin's feelings. "Please Remus. I'm not ashamed of you. Not one bit of it. But this enchantment, would you have it widely known?" he tried to reason. "A Dark sexual bond enchantment." Snape shook his head.

Lupin stopped in his tracks, Snape stopping two steps later. "Then I cannot allow you to go through with it. This hiatus, if we don't have a second caster, will plunge you into madness. I cannot bear it and I won't. Please be reasonable, Severus," Lupin turned to Snape and placed his hands on Snape's shoulders.

"What would you have me do, Remus? I won't have a second caster so shall I kill you to save myself? I won't do either of these things!" Snape roared, shaking off Lupin's hands.

"Severus, please. We kept it from Albus, and look what happened to us. Look how he's been able to help us. Don't turn away help just because you're too proud,"

"You have no idea what you're asking of me," Snape spat and strode off to be by himself.

His feet took him to the Lake and he walked around its perimeter, deep in thought, turning over, inspecting and examining all that he and Lupin had been through since November. All that might well come to an end once the Thrall was unravelled. He feared madness but found he also feared losing Lupin. His fear was physical. He didn't want to be without him ever again, but he was afraid when the Thrall was removed, Lupin would want him no more. And even more people would know how he was despised and rejected. Perhaps madness would be better. Better not to know he was alone again.

Then again, even if Lupin still desired him, it wouldn't be the same, would it? He thought of how he would take Lupin every morning when they renewed the Thrall. The whole thing that had perfected the Thrall in the first place – his own rampant desire to take the werewolf, to be the dominant partner. They'd had no idea that on their orgasms, they would be delivered into a magical vortex of indescribable exquisite ecstasy. Of course, the vortex would be gone. It was marvellous, but that wouldn't be what he would miss.

Lupin was a dominant wolf; Snape was sure Lupin wouldn't let Snape take him anymore. It wasn't that Snape minded Lupin shagging him. Merlin, no! Not one bit of it: he coveted everything that Lupin did to him, including filling him up until he thought he would burst will joy. But to be able to take Lupin made it complete. Knowing he was the only man to have done so made him feel special in a way he had never known before Lupin. He sighed heavily.

He picked up a stone and skimmed it across the water. He hadn't done that for years. Ten bounces, not bad. He kicked up a clod of dirt and turned purposefully back to the school. Only a matter of days now until the new moon. Why on earth was he wasting this time? This was time he should be spending with Lupin while he was still wanted and he intended to make use of every single minute. Oh yes indeed, he thought as his jaw set firmly.

He swept into his quarters to find Lupin waiting for him, clearly worried for him. Snape's desire overwhelmed his thoughts of madness and lovelessness instantly. He felt like a man on borrowed time and he wasn't going to waste time talking.

"Please listen to me Severus," Lupin said as he walked towards him with his hands outstretched to catch his. "I am so worried about this, I..."

Snape kissed him forcefully, deeply and passionately, catching Lupin's hands in his own and wrapping them behind Lupin's back. "I won't discuss it, Remus. Come to bed with me now." His voice was deepened with desire, as he pulled Lupin to the bedroom and pushed him onto the bed. He was lost within his own lust now, only knowing the heavy muzziness in his head and the gnawing desire in his gut and the deep throbbing in his groin as he covered Lupin with his fully clothed body, holding Lupin's wrists above his head and pressing against him as he sucked at his lips and tongue as he felt Lupin responding the same.

Lupin must have despatched their clothes, because Snape was too insensible with all-consuming lust to deal with clasps or buttons or cords. He just wanted to feel Lupin's body, grasp it, kiss it, suck it, bite it, take it.

As soon as their clothes were gone, he did all these things to Lupin, who was writhing under him, groaning almost incessantly at the unrelenting and demanding attentions of Snape's mouth, teeth, lips, fingers and hands that allowed him almost no leeway to reciprocate. Snape snaked his hand under Lupin to find his opening to stroke and then slip his fingers in, trying to be careful but trembling in barely contained impatient desire. He thrust his fingers in, stroking them until he heard those particular moans of Lupin's he loved and felt his slickness. "Merlin, Severus!" he heard Lupin moan.

Snape pulled Lupin's legs and butt off the bed and turned him over swiftly onto his knees, his own body now shrieking at him for release. He lowered himself to his knees behind Lupin and pushed into his hot, slick, tight channel, almost weeping with the feel of it as he struggled not to come immediately. He stopped himself, barely able to breathe. He calmed his breathing as he massaged Lupin's hips with hands to calm himself more.

Lupin started to moan his name encouragingly and began moving back on to Snape slowly making Snape's breath hitch. A deep growl escaped from Snape's throat and he started to thrust slowly again, tightening his grip on Lupin's hips and on his cock, listening to Lupin's growing moans. He drove himself in deeper, finding Lupin's sweet spot that made him cry out, and plunged to that spot over and over again, as Lupin became more delirious in his own desire, and began to repeat his name amidst his moans. Harder and faster now, hand and hips, he thrust into Lupin and Lupin pushed back onto him greedily, as Snape's orgasm started to spiral inexorably, thrilling him to his core, then broke over him with hard surges of pleasure as he heard Lupin also cry out and the vortex took over at that point and brought the men to the zenith of pure ecstasy and power, and then ebbed, leaving them spent but still energised, as if emerging from a lightning storm.

"He will not be moved on it, Albus," Lupin said, pacing Dumbledore's office. "Nothing I say will move him on it. He will not hear of a second caster. He's maddeningly stubborn!" Lupin dropped into a chair, exasperated. The object of his ire stood not two foot away, rigid and with his hands behind his back, looking sternly at Lupin.

"I'm all too aware of how stubborn Severus can be," Dumbledore said, peering at Snape over his glasses. "Severus, my boy," he started kindly, but was interrupted.

"Don't bother, Albus," Snape said curtly over him. "This is a pointless conversation. I won't hear of it."

Dumbledore stood and walked round to them both placing the merest tips of his fingertips on Snape's shoulders. "Severus, I know how you value your privacy and I even understand how this has its roots in your unhappy recollections of others' invasions of that privacy," Dumbledore's eyes flicked to Lupin, who flinched, realising Dumbledore was referring to the Lake amongst other things.

"I am not beyond begging you if I have to," Dumbledore said mildly, returning to his seat. "Neither I nor Remus wish to see you lose your mind under this Dark curse. Severus, my boy, how do I make you take this seriously? How do we make you take care of yourself the way we wish to take care of you? Severus, please."

Snape's hands unclenched each other and dropped to his sides, surprised by Dumbledore's pleading tone. He didn't believe he had ever heard it before. He hoped he would never hear it again. It made him feel hollow.

He raised his hand to his brow, screwed his eyes shut, and tried to see their point of view. The air was heavy and still waiting for his response.

"I cannot."

"Then I will not," Lupin said defiantly. "I won't go through with the ritual. As long as the thresholds are bound, we can just live with it."

Before Snape had the chance to object, Dumbledore spoke, "I can't allow it, Remus. Not here at Hogwarts. I will not tolerate Dark enslavements here, no matter how willingly you believe you are acting. I would rather break this with your consent and co-operation," he said, the mildness hardening with each sentence. "Be under no illusion, I will do so without it, if required."

Snape was shocked, but Remus remained defiant. "Then compel Severus to accept the second caster. Just bring him and do not allow Severus to resist. There can be no other way, Albus."

"Very well. You are right, Remus. I will appoint a second caster and you will attend the ritual, Severus," Dumbledore stated with a tone of finality that brooked no argument.

Snape rounded on Lupin, his black eyes blazing with anger. Lupin, still sitting, regarded him mildly. Snape strode out of Dumbledore's office to his own rooms, raging with his powerlessness to control this. He's been outsmarted and he was smarting with the offence.

Ten minutes later, Lupin arrived. Snape was pacing his room, still angry. Lupin stood and watched him for a while and then grabbed one wrist to stop Snape pacing, and kissed his mouth gently.

Snape pulled himself away. "Leave me alone," he spat, his eyes glittering.

"No," Lupin said simply and kissed him again. "I will not have you endanger yourself. I don't care how angry you are with me."

Snape pushed him away again. "Leave me be," he hissed again.

"I will not," Lupin said, moving in front of Snape so he could not get past.

"Why are you being so infuriating, Lupin?" Snape shouted, his face white with rage, standing rigid, with his hands clenched into fists at this side.

"Because I love you," Lupin said softly, holding Snape's fists.

"Because I'm scared of the ritual and what may happen to you." He lifted Snape's fists to his mouth and grazed the knuckles with his lips. "And to me." He pulled Snape towards him. "And to us." He kissed Snape's mouth again as he wrapped his arms around him in an unyielding embrace. "And I don't want to spend one single minute arguing. Now you come to be with me!" he said as Snape's spine softened to his touch. Hearing his own thoughts echoed to him made his anger drain away and he followed Lupin to the bedroom, hoping very much that the werewolf was feeling demanding. He needed very much to be Claimed wholly and fully this night to purge him of the residue of his rage.

It was Easter weekend. There were no lessons and Dumbledore had determined that the propitious time for casting would midnight at the new moon.

The Ritual Room had been set up. Snape had only seen this room a couple of times before when some Dark rituals needed to be undone or cleansed. He saw Bill Weasley arrive at the Headmaster's office and felt his mortification re-surfacing. He'd threatened Dumbledore that he'd Stupefy Weasley before he had the chance to see him, but was warned that he would only be replaced by someone else, so nothing could be gained by it. He admitted defeat with no grace whatsoever.

When the appointed time came, both he and Lupin in plain robes entered the Ritual Room. Dumbledore stood on the dias, and Weasley stood before him, both with wands in hands.

Lupin and Snape stood before Dumbledore, for all the world like a betrothed couple. Weasley took his place behind Snape, his face impassive.

"I have told Bill here of the Death Eater plot regarding the non-consensual casting of these enchantments," Dumbledore said, catching Snape's eye conspiratorially. "You may rely upon his discretion." Weasley gave the men a small smile of reassurance each. "Hello, Bill," Lupin said amiably. Snape gave him a curt nod.

"No time like the present," Dumbledore smiled and placed an ornate chalice and ritual blade on the altar beside him. Snape unbuttoned his cuff and rolled up his sleeve to expose his left arm with the outline of the Dark Mark upon it.

Dumbledore started the incantation and took the silver ceremonial dagger, with its wickedly sharp waved blade to Snape's left arm, which he held out unflinchingly, holding Lupin's gaze as he did so. If something went wrong, and he were to go mad, he wanted Lupin's face to be his last coherent thought. Dumbledore cut cleanly and deeply and caught his blood in the bejewelled chalice. Lupin then stood before Snape and held his left arm firmly as he healed the deep gash with his wand as Snape had shown him and buttoned his cuff as they shared as small smile of understanding.

Dumbledore continued to chant the incantation, touching the dagger to the blood in the chalice which then hissed and smoked. At this time, Weasley started his own incantation and the intonations merged in their resonances. Still chanting, using the dagger tipped with the enchanted blood, Dumbledore marked the contrasting runic symbols first on Lupin's forehead who gasped and folded over his own stomach, and then on Snape's forehead, as Weasley performed a complicated wand casting, drawing gold runic symbols over Snape's head.

Resonant chanting continuing somewhere in his consciousness, Snape was vaguely aware of Lupin uttering small cry of something like relief and shuddering then straightening, but then Snape was overwhelmed with immediate, sharp pain that pierced his core that bent him over double as well.

He felt the Thrall unravel in a violent spinning motion in his very core. It spun outwards and then was torn and shredded from him brutally, strand by strand by strand.

Then he felt his mind unravelling ... breaking ... shattering.

He sobbed in physical pain and then torment harrowed his soul and he collapsed to the floor. As his eyes rolled up, he saw the ceiling fracture and rent itself open. A livid, purple firmament was revealed where blackened thunderheads rolled along and deafening thunder shook his world, as forked lightning snaked across the angry sky.

Furies streaked across the sky; furies with the faces of the Dark Lord's victims tormenting him with every memory of torture, every scream of pain that he had ever inflicted on an innocent soul replaying in agonising slowness before him, feeling their fear, feeling their pain, as hot, burning, searing blood rained down upon his head and body, melting and twisting his skin, layer by layer, revealing bone.

Snape howled in agony, confusion and terror as invisible claws and nails raked at his melting skin, and hell hounds' sharp teeth bit and tore at his exposed bone. The agony was unceasing and unrelenting and he knew there would be no respite; his screaming mind knew there could never be relief. This was the damage of his soul made flesh. This would be his hell on earth until the day he died.

Dormite oblivio!

Blackness.
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You Will Not Kiss Me