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"Why Me?"	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 88152 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and make no money off this work of extreme insanity.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Love you, woman, you're the best!

Just a reminder of what's on my profile; reviews complaining or whinging about the lack 'o sex in stories will get deleted. If you want a smut-filled romp, you need to find another story to read.

Chapter 18:

I Need Therapy Now, Thanks!

Sipping at his first cup of coffee for the day, Sirius couldn't help himself. He kept lifting his eyes and glancing at Snape. Each time he did, he tried not to snort the hot liquid out his nose. Between what he was seeing of Snape, the genial smile on Remus' face, something he knew was the man's version of a smug look, and listening to Harry mutter about needing more therapy than he had life left by now, he was about to die. Shaking his head, he looked down at the table as he didn't want to flush his sinuses out with coffee before breakfast was over. Oh, bloody hell, this was a riot!
After a few moments to compose himself, glancing at Lucius, who was just staring at Severus, eyes wide, shaking his head, Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice level and not show that he was about to die laughing, “So, do we have anything to do today or anyone coming over? Or are we just waiting for tomorrow for what's happening then?”
Smiling slightly bigger, Remus said, “I haven't heard that we'll have any company or that anything needs tended to. I thought, perhaps, Lucius might want to send the elves in to start on your mother's room. We can take Buckbeak outside while they start cleaning, so there won't be so much to take care of tomorrow night. That way it won't take much to get it ready for Draco.”
“I'll set them to the task. Good idea,” Lucius said firmly, though he kept glancing at Severus as he did, shaking his head slightly.
Staring at his plate, steadfastly refusing to look up, Harry muttered to where only Sirius could hear, “I think someone needs to say something to Snape about the hickeys and bite marks on his neck. Not only am I sure he doesn't know they are there, but I can't face those again. The mere thought--” trailing off, he shuddered at the visions that invoked.
Unable to help himself, Sirius gave a snort then wiped his mouth where some coffee dribbled, unable to stop the grin that was there. “I'll say something to Remus after we're done eating. Look on the bright side, though; he's not drinking firewhiskey for breakfast! I'm sure his liver is thanking him for that. And he hasn't snarked or been sarcastic once. That's an improvement. In fact, I'm sure he's not uttered one word so far since coming in. I think that's a first.”
“Well, the shell-shocked look on his face is a bit—unnerving,” Harry admitted, grinning just a little. “I just don't want any kind of details from anyone about what might have put it there is all. It's more than I can handle. I'm having enough problems with what's going on with us that I don't need anything else to make me more mental than I already am!”
Starting to chuckle, looking down, “I have to know. I can't help it! I won't tell you when I find out though, I swear.” Glancing up at Snape, seeing that blank look in his eyes, the somewhat stunned, almost amazed look on his face as he woodenly went through the motions of eating breakfast, he had to bite his lip to keep from laughing aloud. “I have to! This—no, it's something I need to know here.”
“You're a glutton for punishment,” Harry snorted, grinning, as he shoveled more food into his mouth. “Someone better hope that he doesn't get summoned today. He's going to have a hard time explaining this.”
Snorting again, shoulders heaving, Sirius nodded, “Very true! Or that Albus doesn't take it in his head to come over. That could end up even worse!”
“I didn't think of that,” Harry snickered, fork dropping on his plate as he finished. Putting his head in his hands, he just shook his head. “I'm going outside. I can't take this. Just—swear you won't tell me what you find out.”
“I won't,” Sirius grinned, “Think of it as revenge for all the amusement he's gotten out of our situation. That'll get you through it.”
“I'll try,” Harry snorted.
After another glance at the obviously stunned Severus and shaking his head, Lucius sighed. Glancing at Black and Harry, he plastered a pleasant look on his face then said, “This morning sometime, if we could, I would like a short talk with just the three of us. Privately, please.”
Head coming up, wary look on his face, Harry glanced at Sirius then asked, tone having a slightly fearful edge to it, “About what?”
Giving an internal sigh at the look from Harry, Lucius kept the pleasant look on his face then waved a dismissive hand and told them soothingly, “Nothing off, I assure you. Just something somewhat personal, nothing more.”
Now really uptight, Harry glanced at Sirius, who was also looking apprehensive about this, then said, “Kreacher comes along.” He hoped that would hold off the man trying anything perverted.
“Of course,” Lucius told him though not liking that idea at all.
Brow furrowed, Sirius looked at the man then said firmly, “Nothing off and we'll be good Malfoy.”
“My assurances,” Lucius told him firmly with a nod.
“Alright, get with me after breakfast and when I'm done talking to Remus then we'll arrange something.” Hearing Lucius reply in the affirmative, Sirius gave an internal shake of his head, wondering what this was about then looked at his old friend, trying not to glance at Snape, sure he would die laughing if he did, and said, “Just want to talk to you for a few moments after breakfast. Nothing urgent.”
“We can do that,” Remus said sipping his tea, pleasant smile on his face.
Unable to help himself, Sirius' shoulders began to shake again as he saw that smile, fighting not to laugh. Oh, this was bound to be good!

After checking that Harry was outside, alone, with Kreacher and Buckbeak to protect him from a pervert that might take it in his head to annoy him, Sirius dragged Remus out of the kitchen. One glance back in showed that Snape was still in the same spot he was during breakfast with the same look on his face, something that was killing him.
Shoving Remus into a small room and shutting the door, Sirius leaned against it then began to laugh. Doubling over, he shook his head as he roared. “What did you do to him?” He managed to stammer out through the gales of laughter.
Genial smile returning, Remus said quietly, “He learned not to judge a book by its cover. The poor man thought that what he normally sees is what I'm like during more intimate moments. I do believe it came as a shock to him. Especially after our first encounter.”
Howling louder, Sirius was clutching his sides, “Oh, bloody hell! He does know werewolves aren’t exactly known for being submissive, right? One would think he did! That should have given him some kind of a clue about you and what to expect.”
Smiling bigger, Remus said, softly, “I actually don't think he was aware of that. Especially after our first encounter. That was—well, we were both rather inebriated and I allowed him to do something that I normally don't let anyone try. He knows better now.” Making an amused noise, he added, crossing his arms over his chest, “He was of the opinion that I'm not the dominate type. I believe he's changed his mind.”
“Oh, shite,” Sirius stammered out, shaking his head. Swiping at his now streaming eyes, he muttered, “Why the hell did he think you managed to get laid so much while in school? Hell, James and I couldn't compete with you!”
“I don't believe he was aware of that fact either,” Remus told him, amused. “It was something I was rather discrete about, Sirius. Unlike you and James.”
Snorting by now, Sirius continued to heave in laughter. “Bloody hell! The man got blindsided, didn't he?”
“Oh yes,” Remus agreed, smile growing. “He did seem taken aback when I proceed to prove that I can be rather dominant when I take it in my mind to do so. In fact, I do believe he was speechless, other than some moaning. However, on the upside, I'm now set up as the dominant in the trio so You-Know-Who can't take it in his head to try that and I get to dictate the pace. That's what we were going for.”
“We better hope he recovers his composure before Albus takes it in mind to show up or tomorrow night comes,” Sirius grinned, straightening up though still fighting off another wave of laughter.
“He should snap out of it soon I would think,” Remus said, looking smug. “He was just—blindsided in a way he hasn't been in a while.” Lowering his voice, he added, “And enjoyed it probably more than he's willing to admit.”
Grinning manically, Sirius snorted, “Oh, I bet he did! I heard enough from your horde of girl and boyfriends that I don't doubt that one damned bit.”
Smiling more, Remus just lifted his chin and said nothing.
Holding his now aching sides, Sirius shook his head. “Just—for the sake of poor Harry's sanity, tell the man to hide the hickeys and bite marks. The poor kid is muttering about needing therapy now. He's dealing with enough that this isn't something he needs added on, let alone the visions it tends to bring to mind.”
Making an amused sound at that, Remus nodded, “I will. The visible ones anyway. I'm not actually sure Severus is aware they are there anyway. He's been rather—how shall we say it—off-kilter since we woke today.”
“And this isn't a bad thing,” Sirius grinned, shaking his head. “No snark or sarcasm in sight! That's a fucking first!”
Looking even more smug, Remus admitted, “I can't say I disagree there. Though you do grow accustomed to it. However, the not drinking is probably a good thing. His body does need some rest from that.”
Nodding, still grinning, Sirius didn't know what to say. This was too fucking funny, that's for damned sure!
“He'll snap out of it soon I think. Probably by lunch. Then he'll be back to his normal prickly self. Just give it time.”
“This is a riot,” Sirius admitted, shaking his head. Trying to sober up, he asked, “You found something that worked then?”
“Yes,” Remus told him with a firm nod. “Last night should have been more than enough. Let's see though. We'll work from there. If not, it will just take some reinforcement, something I can easily do. Then we have a better stance in this mess.”
“Well, at least you found something. Good.” Sighing and sobering up completely, Sirius said, “Alright. I better plant myself by Harry if Malfoy wants to talk to us. He might say he'll behave, but what he does is a whole other matter.”
Snorting at that, shaking his head, Remus chuckled, “Very true! I need to bring poor Severus around so we can keep an eye on Lucius anyway. He doesn't have a good track record of behaving for long stretches of time.”
“He doesn't, which means the longer he goes at behaving, the worse is coming,” Sirius grinned. Shaking his head, he chuckled again then walked out to go find Harry and make sure no attempted perversion took place.
Amused, Remus sighed then decided he should probably go try to bring poor Severus around. After all, it wouldn't do to have the man in that state if someone came over. There would be questions asked that none of them wanted to answer.

Seating himself back at the kitchen table, Remus nudged Severus then said, softly, “I think you need to cover the visible marks, Severus, before anyone comes over and sees them. We'd have a right awful time trying to explain what they are.”
Head turning slowly towards Lupin, Severus tried to register what was said. Honestly, the problem right now was he was replaying every moment of the night before, in detail, wondering why he never noticed that side to the seemingly mild mannered Lupin. There should have been a hint, somewhere, that he was like that. If there was, he had missed it, far, long and wide. Shaking his head, he took a sip of his tea as his brain replayed the chunk of being forced against the wall, his mouth devoured, while they rutted against each other. It was—intense for lack of a better word, something he had enjoyed though he was the one that was usually the 'top' in such encounters. Setting his cup down, he asked, trying to put the normal sneer in his voice, though failing, “What are you blathering about, Lupin?”
That genial smile once more appearing at the off-kilter tone to Severus' voice, Remus conjured a mirror and handed it to the man. “Those marks, Severus. I would have thought you would have taken care of them before you came downstairs. We don't have to worry about any of those staying in the house making comments, of course, but others may come in. We don't want to have to explain them to those people.”
Taking the mirror, Severus looked at his face in it and saw nothing off, frowning. Then he caught a glimpse of his neck. Eyes widening, hand starting to tremble, he examined the marks there. Groaning, he dropped the mirror and covered his face with his hands. Snarling, he said, “Why didn't you say something before we came downstairs!”
Amused by that, Remus shook his head then told him, “I came down first, Severus, remember? I had assumed you would notice them when you shaved or something, then used the spell to cover them.”
Face taking on a dour cast, Severus sneered, “I didn't. And I didn't know there was a spell to cover such things.” What he wasn't about to admit was that he never had use for it before, so it wasn't something he would have learned.
“Ah, okay,” Remus said, catching on, pulling his wand. “I'll teach them to you so you can use them again if need be.”
Looking at the werewolf, Severus asked, tone snide, “And how do you know them? You dated about as much as I did in school!”
Walking Severus through how to do the spells then covering the marks, Remus smiled slightly then said, “Well, no, I didn't exactly date much. That I admit. I didn't lack for partners for other things, however. At the time, I was more interested in that than dating, as anyone could guess.”
“You?” Severus asked, eyebrows arched, not believing what he was hearing. Snorting and shaking his head, he sneered, “I very much doubt that.”
Smiling bigger, Remus finished then put his wand away. “How do you think I learned what I did to you last night? That takes much practice, Severus. It's not something one could accomplish on their own, you know.”
Staring at the man, trying to wrap his mind around that, Severus shook his head. Picking up his tea, he downed the last of it then refilled the cup. Curious, he asked, “How many were there?” It wasn't that he fully believed that, mind you, he was just—intrigued.
“Oh, I lost count long ago,” Remus told him, warming his tea. Sipping it, he began to name names, the ones he could remember anyway.
Cup halfway to his mouth, Severus just stared at the man, eyes wide, as he listened to the long litany of names. Bloody hell, if even half of this was right, Lupin had done better than Potter, Black and Lucius combined! When the man finished, all Severus was able to mutter was a stunned question of, “How did you manage that and school?”
“One just has to know how to schedule and get your work done ahead of time, that's all,” Remus told him softly, still smiling.
Rubbing a hand over his face, Severus sipped his tea then frowned. Looking down at the cup, he thought over what he experienced the night before and what he just heard. Firewhiskey. He needed it. Standing, he went to the cupboard where the bottles Black had given them were and grabbed the nearest one. He needed his tea flavored firewhiskey as he was sure that things were just going to get worse as the day wore on.
“That's our Severus,” Remus chuckled as the man poured a generous amount of the potent drink into his cup. Good. The state of shock had worn off. A meek and quiet Severus was rather unnerving, actually. He thought he liked the normal one better.

Planted in one of the chairs by the pool, Harry made sure that Kreacher was close by and that he was all but glued to Sirius as Lucius took a seat by them. The ferrets were still cowed by their almost deaths, so they didn't want to venture outside again yet. That was fine with him, that's for sure.
Slipping an arm around Harry, Sirius held his godson close then eyed the pervert, wondering what this was about. Figuring it was best to get it done and over with, he sighed then asked, “Alright, what did you want to talk to us about?”
Settling in the chair, crossing his legs and smoothing down his robes to where they were immaculate, Lucius then clasped his hands over one knee and looked at the two. “I thought, perhaps, as a way to press forward, what with the bond that's there and all, that we start spending an hour a night or so alone doing something to strengthen the relationship between the three of us.”
“Eh heh,” Sirius uttered, eying the man then shaking his head. “Malfoy, every time you're even within eyesight of us, you try something perverted, make loaded remarks or do something else that's obviously sexual. Pardon me if I see this as just another way to go about doing that.”
Sighing internally, Lucius had to admit to himself that was what had been happening. And it was getting him nowhere in his pursuit of anything. So, he needed to go about this another way entirely. “I admit that I've been my own worst enemy here. I'm used to—going about such matters in a certain manner. In this case, that doesn't work. There is much more involved than the normal pursuit of hedonistic pleasures. That I now realize.”
Shaking his head, Harry glanced at Sirius, not sure what to say about this.
Pressing on, Lucius said, “The bond is going to pull us together. This we all know. I think the time has come, as we're all settling in, to work with that and press onwards. We can't do that if the insanity just keeps happening. Not only is it making our lives rougher, on all of us, but it's bound to backlash at some point as the bond solidifies.”
While all that was true and something he was sure was coming, Sirius snorted then asked, tone sarcastic, “I don't suppose this epiphany has anything to do with Draco coming to stay, does it? I mean, he's not apt to react well to all that's going on in this madhouse.”
“Well, yes, his approaching arrival does figure in here,” Lucius admitted, not even wanting to ponder how badly Draco might react to some of what went on in the house. “That and how as the summer presses on we'll have plenty more bodies in the house. We also need to concern ourselves with what is truly going on here. That is getting out of this mess and going somewhere more comfortable. We can't do that if we stay at loggerheads and the random insanity grows. No, we need to take steps to work with what's here and press onwards.” What he didn't add was that he wanted to get involved as the two beside him pressed forward with the relationship. He should be allowed to join in or, at the very least, watch! His hand, while it worked for stress relief, was no match for the obvious delights these two held for him. That he needed. He had gone without sex for far too long now and wanted it!
Eyes narrowing as he looked at the great pervert, Sirius processed that. Oh, those were realistic reason, he would give Lucius that, ones they did need to worry about soon. However, he also figured there was a more selfish one behind it, one that probably involved him being the great pervert he was. Sighing, he thought it over then shook his head. Looking at Harry, who was still glancing at him, he said, “How about this; we try. One hour a night alone doing something like playing a game or whatever. Then we go from there. Keep in mind, though, that if you blow this with what's been going on, it's going to be all the harder for you to work with it in the future.” Glancing between the two, he asked, “Good with both of you?”
Looking down and thinking it over, Harry sighed. “Alright with me as long as Kreacher stays close by.”
Though not liking that the psychotic house elf would be in attendance, as he was damned sure he couldn't get away with much if he was, Lucius gave a nod. “Acceptable. We'll set up something and come up with a list of activities that we'll all find enjoyable.”
“We'll manage,” Sirius sighed, leaning back. Crossing his arms over his chest, he said, “And, while I have you here—Draco. I'm telling you now, the attitude Harry gets from him at school damned well better not carry over to here, Malfoy! I'm not tolerating that! He behaves or he deals with me.”
Not having thought of that end of the spectrum, Lucius gave an internal wince. Draco could be a handful at times. Being confined to the house with the rivalry between Harry and Draco would most likely lead to serious issues, for all of them. “I'll talk with him about the matter when he arrives. As long as Harry doesn't antagonize, I'll ensure Draco doesn't either.”
“Good,” Sirius nodded. “I'm not saying best friends here, just no all-out war and snide remarks. That sets off all kinds of problems.”
“Agreed,” Lucius concurred.
“Now, on to something else. Any shot in hell at getting Wormtail into the hands of the Ministry so I don't have to worry about the threat of being Kissed hanging over my head?” Sirius asked, crossing his legs and pulling Harry closer.
“Let me see what I can manage there. I'll send a note to Tom through Severus about the dilemma. It is one that needs handled. It won't do for any of us to have that threat looming. No, it's past time it was handled. Let me see what we can manage. At the very least, it'll allow all of us to get out of the house without having to worry about so much.” Lucius admitted with a sigh and shake of his head.
“You do that,” Sirius told him. Pressing on, he tried to get a feel for some of what the man liked to do so they had some idea of what they all shared as interests. At the very least, he would know what he had to soundly veto as it could lead to serious perversion in some way.
Pleased that Black was talking, Lucius began to run down some of his leisure activities, hoping they could find common ground in this so he could work with the situation and get it moving the way he needed. Oh, he wanted more companionship of the sexual kind than his hand and fully planned to get it soon!
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"Why Me?"