Sev's Gang | By : RueRambunctious Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Lucius Views: 5202 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe and make no money from this fair usage fiction. |
Seventh year passes in a blur for Severus, but there are a number of stand out memories.
He comes of age on January 9th, and Lucius ensures the entire holiday period is memorable.
Tobias comes into an unexpected bit of money and spends most of the festive period elsewhere, probably lining the pockets of every barkeeper in the area. It leaves Severus and Eileen free to receive and open presents from Lucius, and Severus is rather certain that Lucius has planned it thus.
It does not make immediate sense to Severus when his mother unwraps beautiful ceremonial robes, but he gathers from her tearful expression that they are the sort of thing she would have worn had she still been wealthy. She clutches them to herself and looks over at Severus, not with her usual distant expression, but with something that helps Severus imagine how she might have looked had her marriage been happier.
Severus is quietly thrilled by the gifts of expensive potion supplies and books, but he receives a few wizarding items that he is wholly unfamiliar with. Eileen explains them to him with a strange, fond expression, as though the rituals they were practical for held memories for her that had once been suppressed, but now reacquainted her with pleasure.
She shyly gives Severus a book that he rather suspects she has sneaked into wizarding London to buy, using money that she has somehow managed to keep from Tobias.
Eileen opens the book before Severus and points out significant chapters, which seem to detail the customs around the arrangement he has with Lucius. Severus is glad to have it, but he is more glad to have time alone with his mother spent in a mood akin to contentment.
Eileen surprises Severus with another gift a few days before his birthday.
“What is it?” Severus asks, examining the gloop.
Eileen's lips press together before she explains, “A puzzle for my talented future Potions Master son. See if you can recreate it.”
Severus is pleased by the puzzle, but equally confused.
He squirms when she later asks him how familiar he is with what will be expected of him by Lucius. Severus merely squeaks, quite unready for such a conversation.
“You… do want the arrangement to go ahead, don't you?” Eileen asks suddenly. “Because I will support you if you don't, of course I will, but you seem… happy.”
Severus blushes, and he feels ridiculous that his mother knows how content he is with his situation. Although… he is apprehensive.
Not just about physical matters, although that is certainly something over which Severus has mixed feelings.
Severus is terrified that something will happen to corrode the fondness between himself and Lucius. He looks at his own parents' marriage for guidance: Eileen had once loved Tobias enough to forsake everything for him, and now she is undeniably and perhaps permanently broken.
Eileen seems to understand her son's misgivings, and merely places her hand over his for a long time.
Ordinarily Severus' birthday passes with little fuss, but the night before Eileen won't let him go to bed, and instead makes him dress in robes Lucius has provided. They receive a letter a little before midnight on January 8th.
Severus' curiosity burns, and Eileen holds out something small wrapped in tissue and attached to the bottom of the letter.
“Portkey,” she explains. Softly she adds, “Looks like the key to your new home.”
Severus had almost no time to process that, as his mother is taking his hand and placing it on the unwrapped key and the shabby little clock in the kitchen is chiming and there is a pull in his naval…
And then they are not in Severus' house any more.
Lucius stands nearby, with a man who can only be Abraxus, and a woman who is presumably Lucius' mother. Severus realises with a twinge of discomfort that he does not recollect her name.
A ceremony passes in a haze, but all Severus really has notice for is Lucius, and the expression in Eileen's eyes.
Before long, Severus is alone with Lucius in a house that is far grander than anything he could have envisioned.
Severus' heart might just break through his chest with the nervous violence of its beating. The moment is too soon; too surreal; and what is Lucius expecting?
Lucius leads Severus upstairs, and the young man starts to feel stupid for feeling excitement for this over the last few days. All he feels now seems to be terror.
Lucius places his hand on Severus reassuringly and the brunette jumps. “Relax,” Lucius says dryly. “I am hardly about to defile you in the next few seconds.”
“Minutes, then?” Severus drawls bravely.
Lucius laughs, pushing open a bedroom door and removing his shoes. He sits down upon the floor, ignoring the bed.
“I am not going to make you do anything you do not want to do,” Lucius points out.
Severus lingers in the doorway. “But I signed the contract. The ceremony-”
“Makes us partners,” Lucius quickly responds. “It does not dictate the speed at which we chose to explore intimacy.”
Severus blinks, and removes his shoes for something to do. His feet sink into a carpet softer and thicker than he had previously known even existed.
“Feel like you can breathe now?” Lucius teases.
Severus looks at the blonde, and cannot bring himself to frown. “Am I that obvious?” he asks.
Lucius leans out across the carpet comfortably, putting Severus to ease from his own calmness. “It is a natural enough feeling.”
“How would you know?” Severus mutters.
Lucius cracks an eye open, giving Severus a quizzical look. “It does not occur to you how recently I deflowered my wife?”
“That seems like a long time ago,” Severus admits.
Lucius makes an odd little noise of mirth, which seems to suggest that the attempt to create an heir has felt very time-consuming indeed.
Severus crawls over to Lucius and stares at him quietly. Lucius puts an arm around him. “Home at last,” he says contentedly.
Severus leans against the larger body (not so much larger anymore) and feels Lucius' heart beating against his own.
“What… what do you want to do?” Severus asks, his mouth feeling dry.
Lucius tilts his head. “Whatever you want to do.”
Severus squirms, feeling silly but wanting Lucius to be a bit more… forceful, as he had imagined him to be on this night. Severus clears his throat uncomfortably.
Lucius seems to understand immediately, and laughs freely. “Are you so eager, consort mine?”
Severus blushes vividly at the pet name, and Lucius stores the reaction away immediately for future teasing.
Lucius reaches out and tilts up Severus' chin. “Well?” he asks. “Tell me what you want then.”
Severus makes another awkward noise in his throat, then sort of growls. “You.”
Lucius gives him an amused look, and pulls Severus onto his lap. “Oh?”
“Lucius,” Severus pouts warningly, not feeling at all taken seriously.
Lucius sits up and licks Severus' neck, causing the young man to bolt upright.
“Not so brave now, are you?” Lucius teases.
Severus huffs, looking down at him, and bravely reaches down to kiss the blonde. Lucius responds fondly, curling his arm lightly around Severus' back.
After a while Severus tugs at Lucius' robes.
“Are you sure?” Lucius asks seriously.
“Yes,” Severus insists in a tight voice.
“We shall go as far as you dictate,” Lucius says sincerely, “and as soon as you want to stop, you tell me.”
Severus nods dismissively and begins to remove his own robes.
Lucius stills him. “Severus?” he intones sternly.
Severus sighs. “Fine, fine,” he huffs.
Lucius leans up and kisses Severus' defined jaw. “Oh cheer up,” Lucius says playfully, “I am certain you are going to enjoy yourself.”
Severus rather thinks Lucius may be right.
*
Severus is surprised in the morning by the trays left beside their bed. Elves. Severus now has house elves.
Lucius is utterly unperturbed and confidently encourages Severus to breakfast, wickedly instigating some game that leaves the sheets and them both sticky with jam.
Lucius laughs deliciously, a mixture of blueberry and apricot conserves matting his previously platinum hair.
Severus cannot help but smirk. “Your hair needs washing,” he says with satisfaction.
Lucius falls onto his back with booming laughter at their reversed roles. “You want to wash it for me?” he asks with amusement.
Severus blinks, but agrees, and after lounging for a bit longer he follows Lucius into the en suite. Severus has never seen such a room before but again Lucius hardly seems to note its opulence.
Lucius steps down into a sunken bath which more resembles a small swimming pool and Severus idly wonders about the water bill as the depths fill remarkably swiftly with water and bubbles.
Lucius settles on the floor of the shallow end and reaches out an arm invitingly. His eyes sparkle, and there is still jam on his neck and smeared into the sparse blonde hairs on Lucius' chest. He dips backwards in the warm water, soaking his hair.
Severus wades in after him and Lucius reaches for what is presumably shampoo with a smirk Severus cannot help but mirror.
Lucius leans into the contact and groans happily as Severus lathers his scalp. Severus is skeptical that such an activity can cause such pleasure, but Lucius appears quite sincere in his exaltations.
They spend a decadent amount of time in the bath.
Severus has no desire to dress afterwards, and Lucius gives him a tempted look. “I will spend no more than twenty minutes lazing here with you, then I must get up, get ready and take care of some business.”
“When will you be back?” Severus asks comfortably, resting his chin on Lucius' chest.
“Probably no more than an hour,” Lucius muses. He smiles into Severus' wet scalp. “Then the rest of my day is yours.”
Severus curls into Lucius further. Lucius' twenty minutes is more than two hours.
During Lucius' absence Severus fiddles with the concoction Eileen gifted him. He makes remarkable progress, and is rather smug when Lucius returns to an almost perfect replica.
“What is that?” Lucius asks weakly.
“No idea,” Severus responds, peering between the two similar batches of goo. “My mother suggested I would enjoy making it.”
Lucius looks uncharacteristically tongue-tied and rather comical.
“What is it?” Severus asks, perplexed.
“Do you… did she explain what that's for?” Lucius asks carefully.
Severus blinks, feeling apprehensive. “No,” he replies. “Why?”
Lucius covers his face and has to swallow another laugh. “Never mind,” he replies, “I am sure we are going to be glad of your ability to make it up so swiftly.”
Severus gives the gloop a deeply suspicious look. “Tell me what I've made Lucius,” he glowers.
“Absolutely not,” the blonde chortles.
“Lucius!” Severus snaps.
Lucius grins and leans over Severus, whispering in his ear, “It is very much something we are going to use in abundance when I make you a man, Princeling.”
Severus makes an utterly appalled noise, and Lucius laughs until his ribs ache, not even bothering to defend himself when Severus hits him playfully.
They fall into a kiss.
Severus rather wishes they could stay in their content bubble forever, but Lucius foists him back to school when term starts with the insistence on the importance of good grades.
Severus is rather rethinking his feelings on being a kept woman, although he has heard that Lucius only visits Narcissa's chambers for activities conductive to procreation.
Severus has heard too that sitting his NEWTs is important, and he has certainly studied as though they are, but he barely remembers any of that. All he feels is a mild sadness that Hogwarts is where he lost Lily, an uncomfortable confusion around Lupin, and a strong urge to be gone, accessorising his dark robes with a mask just like Lucius'.
Regulus Black goes missing in 1979. It disconcerts Lucius in a way that Severus does not fully comprehend, but he does miss the haughty, sarcastic, pretty boy brother of Severus' nemesis. Severus liked Regie's company on its own merits, but it also fed and fascinated his ego in a way that was hard to admit. The pale, scathing, dark-haired young man was, to Severus, a mirror to what he could have been were he a handsome, wealthy pureblood. That Lucius had picked Severus over Regulus caused Severus no end of confusion, but it also nurtured a warm feeling in his chest which never truly went away.
Severus' memories of summer are whittled down to three: the birth of Lucius' firstborn heir on June 5th, a particularly cold, wet night where he overhears something he wishes he didn't, and the birth of a dark-haired little boy that Petunia seems to complain about all over the neighbourhood.
It is surreal to see Lucius with a child, as it makes him suddenly seem like an adult in a way that being married to a pleasant girl from school had not.
Severus is surprised and apprehensive about being invited to the hospital. It feels to him to be rather rude to Narcissa, and doesn't she deserve some sort of respect from Lucius after gifting Lucius exactly what was required, and swiftly?
Narcissa astonishes Severus by being superbly cordial and welcoming of her husband's consort. Despite her evident tiredness, she warmly welcomes Severus and promptly deposits a mewling, blond bundle into his arms.
Severus is astonished and a little horrified, but he does not drop the baby.
He is still unconvinced of the merits of children's company, but he feels a growing fondness for the odd creature in his arms. Part of Lucius. How odd.
Lucius himself makes a show of introducing Severus to the young heir with a bit of tongue-in-cheek pomp and a mouthful of names.
“Draco for short, right?” Severus mutters.
Narcissa laughs before Lucius, and responds, “I am afraid we are hoping you will learn the whole thing, as befitting his godfather.”
Lucius smiles widely, giving Narcissa a fond look. His smirk turns teasing as he fixed eyes on a surprised Severus, “He will certainly do so, if he knows what's good for him.”
Severus feels himself blushing, and feels horrified to be caught so before Narcissa, whilst holding her baby.
Narcissa titters, not unkindly, and states, “Rather you than me, Sev.”
Severus looks at her, and gets the distinct impression that not only does she know exactly how her husband treats him, but that she bears no resentment about it whatsoever.
He thought he would find that odd, but he acknowledges to himself that he does not mind her presence in Lucius' life either. They might just become friends.
It leaves Severus with an odd, pleased feeling. He is hardly a sister wife, but Narcissa gives him a look like she is happy to accept Severus and his dirty blood as family. As good enough to be around her baby.
That cold, wet night leaves Severus with quite the opposite feeling.
The irony of Severus' desire to become a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, considering his current hobby, is not lost on him. Perhaps it had grown from the lingering horror of discovering just how Other Lupin is, or perhaps it was an older desire, born of spending so much time having to defend his person both at school and home.
Whatever the motivation, Severus finds himself listening in to the interview of one Sybil Trelawney and overhearing part of something that he regrets ever hearing.
Why Severus thinks to mention the prophecy to the Dark Lord he may never fully understand, but at the time it seems prudent. Laughably natural, like the way Severus walks into the masked masses of the Dark Lord's inner circle and always finds Lucius' side, feeling like he finally belongs somewhere.
Hands under dark robes are always finding Severus' shoulders and arms, complimenting him on something or treating him with a fraternal familiarity. It is hard for Severus to process how these people could be so accepting of him when his blood had once made him feel so alien.
What would it have been like if Severus had not been lucky enough to have been Sorted as he had been? Lily had not faced the bullying he had, despite her lesser blood, but she had found kin in a blood traitor, whilst Severus was here, accepted, in the most righteous wizarding order.
It was supremely odd to think of Lily as being a mother, when Severus himself barely felt like a man. It had only been a few months since Lucius had made him one, and yet not much earlier Lily had been conceiving an actual child.
It still makes Severus' stomach churn to think that the baby is also Potter's, but perhaps he would get used to that. He cannot quite accept the union, but it does not creep into his thoughts as often as it could have done, had Severus not had Lucius and their masked associates to serve as an effective distraction.
However, the distraction fails eventually. To Severus' horror, he recognises Pettigrew at a Death Eater meeting. He feels cold, sick, and nervous in a way he does not truly understand yet.
That August Severus learns that The Dark Lord has decided that Lily's baby fits the overheard prophecy and marks the Potters for death. Severus understands the fear he had been feeling, and it increases hugely.
Severus asks for Lily to be spared. It is a strange moment.
The Dark Lord gives Severus a look that is surprised, confused and calculating all at once, and then seems utterly, terrifyingly unreadable.
Severus can hear his heart hammering and blood pounds in his ears and what if this bigoted wizard says no?
The man to whom Severus has sworn his allegiance agrees to 'try' to avoid spilling Lily's dirty blood, but it does not appease Severus.
Desperate, Severus then approaches a man he knows he cannot trust and warns Dumbledore of the attack planned on the young family. Severus has nothing to offer but his loyalty, but offers it freely to keep Lily safe.
His childhood friend. His first friend.
Dumbledore assures Severus when the Potters go into hiding that they will be safe. Severus really wants to believe the platitude, but it feels hollow in his gut.
Lucius asks Severus whether he is sick. Severus doesn't know how to explain his irrational feelings, but he tries, and Lucius does his best to be reassuring. Lucius has not had much practice yet doing this in any other situation than business or soothing a teething infant, but Severus appreciates the effort.
Severus listens as though addicted to every sliver of news he hears, but immediately discards any information that does not directly involve Lily or her safety.
It takes a long time for the memory of hearing about Wilkes' death to trickle back to Severus' notice. He exclaims it with a start days later to a sombre Lucius, who arches a tired brow. The blonde ensures Severus attends the funeral, but Severus feels stunned and numb.
It is a horrible lesson that this 'war' does not only happen to other people. Evan Rosier is a notable absentee of the funeral, and the plainclothes Death Eaters present commiserate that Evan took a piece of the auror's nose when they captured him, as though that is a satisfying comfort.
Severus feels sick. He imagines Lily's grave, his fault for opening his smart mouth, and the world seems to jump up and take his vision away for a minute.
Lucius catches him, a firm presence holding Severus to appear to the world as though he is not having major doubts, and ushers away onlookers' attention with a demurral to grief and firewhiskey.
A Fidelius charm is cast on the Potter residence in Godric's Hollow in late October, but Severus does not hear about it until later.
Apparently Sirius Black is the Secret Keeper, but after seeing Pettigrew, Severus cannot quite accept that. Black had almost gotten Severus killed not so long ago from reckless stupidity, would Potter really risk his family's safety to the protection of such a person?
All the Marauders seem to Severus to be lacking as Secret Keeper material in their own ways. Petunia could hardly be a worse option, and she would tell anyone who would listen (and plenty who wouldn't) anything that might bring her sister misfortune.
Severus' fears are confirmed on All Hallows Eve, and he drops everything to get to the compromised hiding place as quickly as possible.
It's too late, and he does not know whether he will ever see anything else when he closes his eyes.
It affects Severus more than he expects to walk past James Potter's cooling corpse, but he hardly even notices Voldemort's body at first when he reaches the nursery.
All he notices is that all he can hear is a baby screaming, not a single raised voice, and then he steps further into the room and sees Lily and something within Severus… shatters.
Draco has programmed Severus to respond to a baby's cry, but on this occasion Severus cannot bring himself to even consider the baby sobbing wretchedly in the crib. The guilt Severus feels is overwhelming, as it occurs to him that in his single-mindedness to protect Lily he never once really considered the safety of her child.
How could he have been so childish?
Severus knows fine well that he is not going to find Lily holding on to life, but he approaches her body anyway. She does not respond and it feels like something less concrete than her has died; perhaps his childhood, perhaps his hope, perhaps everything… Severus clings to her and suddenly he's crying: deep, racking sobs which rival the weeping from the small Potter.
Eventually Severus notices a photograph on the floor. He stares at it: Lily and the baby, looking so happy and alive he can hardly bear it.
Now torn asunder.
Severus rips the photograph, expressing instinctively his horror at the situation, but cannot bring himself to drop down Lily's image.
Severus looks at the baby, understanding that the cry is not the pain of teething or colic, but fear and distress from neglect. Severus has no idea how to help that when he himself feels broken and empty in a way that he cannot fully understand.
It's only Lily. They're not even friends anymore.
Why does it feel like Severus cannot breathe? It feels like something vital has been torn from him.
Severus pockets the photograph and considers: the baby needs an effective adult; not a snivelling child like Severus. Dumbledore is the apparent choice, as he has always seemed to know how broken Severus is.
Feeling incapable and unworthy and HURT, Severus glides towards the door almost in a trance. He is jolted a little out of his stupor by the sight of Voldemort, prone and silent on the floor.
It is the oddest feeling.
Severus' left arm starts to itch from overthinking and he realises that he is marked as an enemy of those who have won the war. Lucius is equally marred.
Perhaps Lucius can at least throw money at his own problems if the aurors care to sniff them out.
That's a conversation for another time.
Right now Severus needs to report to Dumbledore, because who else would know what to do with the baby? Petunia won't want it, and Severus does not know any of Lily's other family since her parents passed away.
The days blur and Lucius does not seem certain whether Severus will ever recover. Some time between the late fall and early winter, a Death Eater called Karkaroff denounces Severus in the Wizengamot in what was probably a desperate plea bargain. Dumbledore voices for Severus' loyalty, and Severus does not say a thing, knowing he is bound now to protect Lily's child at any cost.
Even although placing the babe with the Dursleys seems like the exact opposite of doing so.
Lucius is discretely supportive of Severus, but it is clear that were Severus more lucid, Lucius would be having words with him about the dealing with Dumbledore.
They both know the coot cannot be trusted.
Things are never quite the same after that, and Severus supposes this is what it is like to grow up.
In 1982, just when all of the blood traitors and mudbloods thought themselves safe, Bella and the boys hunt down the Longbottoms. They torture the couple at length, breaking their minds even more than people quietly whisper that Severus' has broken.
Bellatrix, the last of Severus' dorm mates, and his brother, find themselves in Azkaban.
As Narcissa's husband, Lucius is one of the first to hear, and he shares the news quietly with Severus in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor. Narcissa is anxious and has taken to bed, preferring to knaw in an unladylike manner at a quill she is tempted to use to pen Andy a letter.
Bella's incarceration should not have been much of a surprise to Severus: karma had surely earmarked her for years for such a fate. However, the family chosen could just have easily been those prophesied, if Severus had just tried harder and been smarter.
He feels an overwhelming urge to hurt something, and perhaps he isn't quite so different from Bella after all. Perhaps it was never Regulus Severus should have been comparing himself to, but Bellatrix. Is he not pale, dark-haired and twisted like she is?
Severus laughs then: a thin, dark, barking thing which sends chills up Lucius' spine.
Lucius entwines his fingers with Severus' and looks him deep in his dark eyes.
“Severus,” the heir intones concisely.
Severus focuses on Lucius with a tired, pinched expression.
“You've still got me,” Lucius says firmly.
Severus blinks, and although he feels broken, drowning, the assertion gives him pause. Lucius places his other hand on Severus' shoulder, and Severus drops his tired head to Lucius' strong shoulder.
“Don't… don't ever leave me,” Severus whispers.
Lucius raises his fingers to stroke Severus' ghostly face. “Perfection never dies, my love,” he responds.
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