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A Secondary Education	By : Thunderbird Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 27880 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any affiliated characters. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
A/N: Hello my lovelies! We're so close to being done! I can't believe it. And now we're in the generally fluffy stage of this fic to wrap it up, which is my favorite part. I hope you are able to handle the amount of sweetness in this chapter. It's a whole lot, but it's also been a long time coming.
My reviewers had a huge hand in me getting this chapter done. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, as always.
Lesson 18: Beginning Anew
When Draco knocked on Harry’s door the following evening, his insides were still squirming with nerves, but this was of a different sort. He wanted this night to be perfect. This starting over business was a good idea in theory, but Draco was realizing that it was a lot of pressure. He wanted to say and do the right things; he wanted Harry to feel cared about.
Harry opened the door much more quickly this time. Draco’s intuition – or, at least, his extensive knowledge of Harry – told him Harry had been likely pacing the front parlor for the past twenty minutes waiting for him. But no matter, Draco had gotten ready for the date way too quickly as well and had walked about his manor aimlessly trying to distract himself. It had been sweet relief when he looked at his watch to see that it was a quarter past seven and he could finally make his way to Harry.
“Hi,” Harry said.
“Hi,” replied Draco. “You look handsome.”
Harry did, of course. He was wearing a bespoke blue suit that hugged him in all the right places, and Draco was having some trouble with wandering eyes.
“You implied that I should dress up a bit,” he said, eyeing Draco’s gray suit appreciatively. “Seems I had the right idea.”
“You did.”
“What would you have done if I’d opened the door in jeans and one of my old Weasley jumpers?” Harry asked with a grin.
“Told you you looked handsome anyway,” Draco replied smoothly.
Harry rolled his eyes, but he was blushing. “And probably checked out my arse, too.”
“Oh, undoubtedly.”
Harry laughed and stepped out onto the stoop, shutting the door behind him. When he turned back, the two men found themselves standing unexpectedly close. They stared at each other a moment.
“Hi,” Harry said again.
Draco’s eyes flitted to Harry’s shy smile. “Hi.”
“I missed you.”
“You saw me yesterday.”
“True,” Harry said, his eyes tracing Draco’s face as if drinking him in. “But it wasn’t nearly enough.”
Draco felt himself take a small gasp. “No, it wasn’t.”
It would be very easy to lean in those extra few inches. But he knew what would happen if he did, and he actually wanted to make it to the restaurant. He wanted this real, proper, public date with Harry. So snogging would have to wait.
He took a step back and offered his elbow.
“Shall we?”
“Where are we going?” Harry asked him as he accepted.
“You’ll see.”
He Apparated them to a charming little street off of Diagon where a number of wizarding London’s finest restaurants now sat nestled amongst each other discreetly. Draco took Harry’s hand as they made their way to the newest among them. He very much hoped Harry hadn’t had the chance to try it yet. It was supposed to be an experience.
Harry looked around curiously, and when they stopped in front of a set of simple glass doors that read VOYAGE in block letters, he froze.
“You managed to get a reservation here?” he asked Draco incredulously.
Pleased, Draco simply smiled. “Yes. I had to pull a few strings, of course.”
“I would think so. I’ve never been.”
“Oh, good,” said Draco, opening the door for Harry and gesturing him inside. “I was hoping that was the case. But, what with you being the Great Harry Potter and all, I figure you can get a reservation anywhere.” He followed Harry through the doors.
Harry shrugged. “Maybe, but I never try.”
“Why does that not surprise me?”
The foyer was dimly lit and empty save for a hostess stationed behind a black podium. She glanced up briefly as they approached.
“Reservation?” she asked.
“Malfoy,” he told her.
She checked the list, then looked up again, her eyes a little more keen now. “For two?”
“That’s correct.”
She looked between the two of them a moment, her gaze lingering somewhat obviously on Harry. He looked blandly back at her, as if waiting for her to say something. But she didn’t, only plucked a wine list from her station and said, “Right this way, gentlemen.”
“This must be a wizardspace,” Harry remarked to Draco as they wound their way through the labrynthine restaurant. “It’s huge. Definitely smaller from the outside.”
“We have almost a dozen different dining rooms,” the hostess told Harry, obviously having overheard them. “Each one featuring different cuisine in its natural setting. They rotate the locales weekly.”
Off to their left they caught a glimpse of diners enjoying a simple and elegant meal in what looked like a Japanese tea house, and then farther up on the right a large party was watching their servers removing an entire roasted pig from a pit that had been dug into the sandy ground.
“Incredible,” said Harry, craning his neck to get a better view of the magically created island setting. “What is that then, Polynesian?”
“Looks like it,” said Draco.
“Which one are we going to?” Harry asked him eagerly.
Draco smirked. “You’ll see.”
Harry shook his head. “A surprise to the end, hm?”
They finally stopped in front of a plain black door marked only with a large silver “2.”
“Your private dining experience, Mr. Malfoy,” the hostess said.
Harry turned to look at Draco in disbelief, his eyebrows disappearing under his fringe.
“I pulled a lot of strings,” Draco admitted. “I hope you like it.”
Harry bit his lip. “I’m sure I will.”
Draco caught the hostess’ small smirk before she turned away to open the door. Once open she stepped inside and gestured for them to follow.
“Come on in, gentlemen. This is yours for the evening, so feel free to make yourselves comfortable.”
Stepping across the threshold, the world was transformed. Draco was immediately aware of pleasant summer air on his skin, followed by the caresses of a soft breeze. The light was the warm but muted light of dusk bouncing off the golden hills in the distance.
They had walked into a magically recreated balcony of a Tuscan villa. There was a small round table, set already for a multi-course meal, as well as a comfortable looking loveseat off to the side for them to relax and get a full view of the olive orchard below. Draco was taking it all in, quite pleased with his choice, but also watching Harry carefully to gauge his impressions.
The brunet was speechless. He looked around at their cozy balcony first, then walked up to the wooden railing to get a good look at the countryside around them. Draco leaned against one of the brown stone walls for a moment, watching him in silence. The hostess had already slipped away discreetly, and they were alone.
“Draco,” Harry said softly. “This is amazing.”
“I think it turned out well,” Draco said. “It feels real, doesn’t it?”
“Like we’re really there,” said Harry. “How do they do this, I wonder.”
“Very skillful magic,” said Draco. “Apparently the charms masters they keep on staff are some of the best in the world.”
“All so we can feel like we’re eating in… where are we? Somewhere in the Mediterranean.”
“Italy,” Draco told him. “Tuscany, to be precise.” He came to stand next to Harry, close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other.
“Ah, Francesca would be thrilled.”
“She was the inspiration, in a sense,” Draco said. “At least in that I felt I had denied you a Tuscan vacation this summer, and I wanted to make it up to you. I know it’s not exactly the same, but…”
Harry turned to look at him. “You didn’t deny me anything. I was the one who chose to be a prat and refuse her invitation, just to be… Just because I couldn’t bear the thought of being there, with you, and not being… with you. If that makes any sense.”
“It does. I felt the same way, actually, in the end. I never ended up going.”
“No?”
Draco shook his head. “I didn’t want to go without you.”
Harry took Draco’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you,” he said. “This is a truly wonderful surprise.”
“Good, I’m glad.” His heart was still fluttering a little with nerves, but Draco was finding himself more and more relaxed the longer he spent with Harry. He decided to take that as a good sign.
There was a small rustle of magic behind them, and Draco turned to see that a platter had appeared on the table in front of the loveseat, as well as two glasses of sparkling wine.
“Looks like our first course has arrived.”
“Already?” Harry followed Draco to the loveseat, accepting a glass of wine as Draco held it out to him.
“I ordered the no-server package. I hope that’s all right.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means there’s no staff waiting on us. The food will appear whenever it seems like we’re ready for the next course. And we can order drinks directly from the list the hostess gave us. I thought spumanti would be nice with the antipasto.” He indicated the plate full of meats, cheeses, and olives. “But you can order anything you like.”
“This is lovely,” Harry said, taking a sip of wine. “I love sparkling wine at the start of a meal.”
“I remember,” said Draco, taking a sip of wine himself. “Shall we dig in?”
After removing their jackets to get more comfortable, they cozied up on the loveseat, chatting idly as they systematically tried a bit of everything and compared their favorites. When a plate of bruschetta arrived not long after, Harry shook his head in disbelief.
“Is this really only the first course? I’m going to be stuffed by the end.”
“It’s all right. We have all night. We don’t have to rush,” Draco told him. “The courses will come whenever we want them to.”
“And no one will barge in on us.”
“That’s right.”
“We’re completely alone.”
“Essentially.” Draco met Harry’s eyes, and it was a little hard to breath. Harry had forgone his glasses yet again for this date, perhaps because he knew the effect those incredible eyes of his had on Draco.
Draco’s hunger must have shown on his face, because Harry looked away first, blushing, reaching for an olive and popping it into his mouth.
He was nervous too, Draco realized. But of course he was. This was unexplored territory for them.
“I know this is different for us,” Draco ventured. “A real date, and everything. But that’s the point, you know. At least for me. I meant it when I said I want to start over with you. I want to do it differently this time, because my intentions are different. My feelings are different, stronger… real.” He felt Harry slip a hand into his and start lightly playing with his fingers. “This, a romantic date, a chance for privacy, this was my idea of how best to start again. But I hope you’ll tell me what you want too. I hope you’ll tell me if there’s something you need.”
“This is what I want,” Harry replied softly. “This. Just… to be with you. And only with you. To be with you as long as you’ll have me. Beyond that… I honestly don’t know what it should look like or how we should do this. It’s all new to me.”
“Relationships?” Draco clarified.
Harry nodded. “And don’t think I haven’t grasped the irony of that,” he said, his tone suddenly dry.
Draco watched him, smiling. “What do you mean?”
“Of the two of us, only you have ever been married or even in a serious relationship. I’ve fallen a bit behind, I’m afraid.”
Draco chuckled. “The student becomes the teacher. Is that what you’re trying to say?”
Harry rolled his eyes. “Well, I was trying to avoid the cliché…”
Draco laughed properly. “I’m hardly an expert. My marriage failed, remember?”
“Yes, but through no fault of your own. Astoria was simply foolish… or selfish, perhaps.”
Draco considered that. “A little of both.”
“So, it was her fault. I’m sure you were a wonderful husband.”
“I tried to be.”
“I know you did.”
Draco took another sip of wine. “I saw her this summer. We ran into each other in Diagon while I was out shopping.”
Harry looked at him. “What did you do?”
“She asked me for coffee. She wanted to talk. I agreed.”
“That was brave of you.”
“Maybe,” Draco said. He thought back to that moment and decided that yes, it had been brave of him. “She had Octavian with her. Her son. Blaise’s son.”
“Draco,” said Harry softly.
“It was all right, actually. I was all right. It was good for me. We talked. She told me that the reason she was unfaithful to me was because she was already in love with Blaise when we got married, but her father wouldn’t let her marry Blaise. He essentially forced her to marry me, the way she tells it. But then she said she fell in love with me anyway. She tried to tell me she still loves me, in fact.”
Harry gaped at him. “Even now? Was she trying to win you back?”
Draco laughed sardonically. “I don’t know. It didn’t matter. Seeing her again only confirmed just how thoroughly I had moved on. I was able to say what I wanted to say, and then I forgave her. There were no hard feelings when we parted.”
Harry nodded. “That’s really good.”
“It was. It was what I needed, without knowing it.”
They finished off the food mostly in a comfortable silence, only commenting occasionally on the lovely view of the sun setting behind the hills. When the antipasto was gone Harry sat fingering the stem of his empty wine glass, shaking his head when Draco asked if he’d like a refill.
“I’ll wait for the next course, but thanks,” he said, staring down at the glass. Draco waited, knowing there was something Harry wanted to say.
The brunet licked his lips, then took a deep breath. “I need to apologize to you, for the way I acted last week, at the wine shop. I was out of line.”
Draco draped an arm around Harry’s shoulders, looking at him intently. “In what way?”
Harry gave him a look. “Come on. I was a prat. All that bollocks I said about… about Kyle being worth the hassle of coming out, and why couldn’t you do that with me, or whatever it was I said. Acting like you owed me something. It was wrong.”
“It’s all right, Harry. You were hurt-“
“It’s not all right.” Harry met Draco’s eyes again. “I take that sort of thing very seriously, you know. A person should be able to share something like that with the world in their own time. I never wanted to push you. I understood, when we were together… I understood it when you said you weren’t ready. I respected it.”
“You did. You were very patient with me.”
“You deserved patience,” Harry said. “And I knew that. But I… I walked into that wine shop, and I saw you with him, and then he kissed you, right there, where anyone could-“ He cut himself off, shaking his head. “I couldn’t bear it. I knew I had to say something to you, so you would at least know how I felt. In case there was some chance that - that you wanted me.”
Draco leaned in and kissed his hair, inhaling his wonderful, familiar scent, but otherwise said nothing.
“But I was also angry,” Harry continued. “What does that bloke have I don’t? Why does Draco want him and not me? It was all I could think about. So I started us off quite… stupidly. I could have said so much more, about what I felt for you, if I’d just kept my head.”
“It’s all right. You said enough that I understood. I ended things with Kyle not long after that, you know.”
Harry nodded. “Well, I’ve figured that out now. But at the time, after I walked away… Gods, I replayed it over and over in my head. I was so sure I had blown it for good. After I’d judged you like that, about when you chose to come out. And the way I treated Kyle.”
“But you were very polite to him,” argued Draco.
“Really? I don’t remember that. All I remember is doing everything in my power not to hex him into oblivion.”
Draco laughed, and Harry whacked him playfully on the stomach. “It’s not funny,” the brunet said. “He had you, and I didn’t. Plus he was so bloody… friendly. And annoyingly not ugly at all. And it pissed me off.”
Draco only laughed some more.
“Yes, all right. I know it was ridiculous. But I’ve never been jealous like that before. I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
Draco sobered a little and kissed Harry on the side of the head. “I don’t mean to laugh. I’m sorry. It wasn’t funny to me at the time either. I suppose now I can simply be happy that you were jealous, because it meant you finally confronted me about how you felt, and I’m very glad for that.”
“I hadn’t been planning on it. I was going to wait until we’d returned to Hogwarts.”
“Really?” Draco asked. “Why then?”
Harry straightened up, enough that his eyes were level with Draco’s. “Because of what you said, about needing to move on, and then later about needing space. It seemed like you needed time, and I believed you deserved that. You deserved a chance to explore what else was out there. I think that’s an important thing for a person to do. I had hoped that maybe, if you had that chance, you would come back to me, eventually.”
“That’s… incredibly generous of you,” Draco said, completely floored.
Harry gave him a wry smirk. “I wasn’t feeling so generous at first. At first I let you go simply because you said that was what you wanted, and what could I do? I thought I was… I don’t know, your safety blanket or something. Something you needed for a while but that you just grew out of eventually.”
“It wasn’t like that at all,” Draco said.
“I know. I know that now. But at the time…” He sighed. “You’re not the first person I’ve been with who I ended up helping through a difficult time. It’s just that when those other blokes were ready to move on, it didn’t bother me, because I wasn’t in love with them. But letting you leave…” He stared down at his hands, which were shaking a little. Draco took them in his. “That was different. I was pretty sure I loved you. I knew I wanted to be with you, at least, in a real way, a serious way. And the more time I had away from you, the more I realized that I was in love with you. And that’s when I decided that I would give you time, give us both time, to think it over. And when the school year resumed I was going to ask you if you wanted to try again. I was going to tell you how I felt and see if you could possibly feel the same for me.”
Draco was grinning, unable to help it. Harry had just admitted to being in love with him, and though Draco had surmised it before, it was the first time he’d actually heard Harry say the words. He felt a rush in his chest that was impossible to suppress, and it took him a moment to recover.
“So what changed your mind?” he asked eventually. “What made you decide to confront me at the wine shop, instead of waiting?”
“Seeing you with another man,” Harry answered simply. “I had no idea it would hurt so much.”
Draco’s grin faltered, his grip on Harry’s hands tightening in remorse. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, Draco. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I loved you and I walked away.”
“I loved you and I let you walk away,” Harry countered.
Draco shook his head. “I was with other people. Other men. You waited for me. You were waiting for me…”
“Yes, I was waiting. Because I’d already had seven years to explore and date around and look for what I wanted. And I’d finally found it. So there wasn’t much point in simply filling a void until I could be with you again. I had no interest in that. But you… you needed to explore. I believe that.”
Draco swallowed, not saying anything. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It seemed unfair to Harry. And yet it was what Harry believed. Perhaps it was how Harry coped with knowing Draco was with other people. And who was he to deny Harry that?
“I’m glad you didn’t wait to tell me,” he said.
“I couldn’t. Especially after hearing you refer to Kyle as your… boyfriend. You made it sound like it could become serious. And I couldn’t let that happen without at least making sure you knew you had options. If you chose him… I would have lived with it. But at least you would have known the truth.”
“Very Gryffindor of you.”
Harry shrugged. “I have my moments. But I have a Slytherin side too, you know.”
“Oh, I know,” Draco said with a smile. “I’ve seen it in action.”
“And you have a Gryffindor side, apparently,” Harry teased. “Showing up at my door my a box of my favorite sweets to declare your love for me? I don’t think it gets much more Gryffindor than that.”
“Slytherins can be romantic, too,” Draco grumbled, pretending to be annoyed. But the wide smile he couldn’t suppress gave him away, as did the pleased flush he could feel warming his cheeks. Harry nudged him lightly in the ribs with his elbow.
“Look,” said the brunet. “Our second course is here.”
Draco followed Harry’s line of sight to find that yes, two plates of pasta and a basket of bread had appeared, on the dining table this time.
“Well, I suppose we’re ready for it, then?”
Harry nodded and took Draco’s hand again, and they stood together.
Draco insisted Harry take the seat with the best view, though the light was already fading. Lamps had already lit themselves, giving the balcony a romantic glow. He ordered them each a glass of pinot grigio, which appeared instantaneously, and they dug into their linguine with relish.
“Francesca will be jealous we’re enjoying a meal like this without her,” Harry remarked after a few minutes.
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Draco. “I think she’ll just be thrilled to hear we’re enjoying it together.”
“True. She was none too happy with me after… you know, the split. Probably because I was being such an arse. But also because she was worried about me, I think.”
“Same here. She didn’t understand how I could have ended it, given the way I felt about you. She knew how I felt better than I knew myself. Though I managed to convince her to leave me alone about it.”
“Well, that’s because you’re cleverer than I am,” said Harry. “Me, I just avoided her.”
“Yes, she mentioned that.”
Harry stared down at his plate, looking guilty. “I owe her an apology. Many, in all likelihood.”
“Have you not been writing with her this summer?”
Harry shook his head. “No. I’ve been very… self-contained, you could say, for the past few months. Not that I haven’t spent time with friends. I’ve just spent more time… I don’t know, brooding, pouring all of my energy into my renovations. And flying a lot with Teddy, which was good. Got me out of the house, at least.”
Draco nodded and tore of a piece of bread to dip in the small dish of olive oil between them. There was no need for him to expound upon his own summer activities. His time with other men was hardly what either of them wanted to spend their date talking about.
“Well, I’m sure she’d love to hear from you,” he said finally. “I don’t think she will be too angry. She’s a very forgiving woman, it turns out. I’ve done a few things I’m not proud of with regards to her, and she has been very patient with me.”
“Yes, but she’s a little bit in love with you,” said Harry. “So she gives you a lot of leeway. Not that I blame her.” He gave Draco a wink and took another sip of his drink.
Draco rolled his eyes. “She’s well over me by now. I’m sure, with Longbottom with her at her villa as we speak, she’s forgotten all about me.”
Harry grinned widely, looking both pleased and surprised. “Neville went to visit her? I had no idea. Well, this is an interesting development.”
Draco smirked behind his glass of water. “I assume you want the details?”
“Of course.”
They finished off their second course in conversation about their two friends, Draco first filling Harry in on what he had learned through Francesca’s letters, followed by both of them speculating on what would happen next and if the two of them would work out in the end.
By the time their third course had arrived – a tender roast chicken with panzanella and summer vegetables – they had started catching each other up on the other important people in their lives. Draco told Harry all about Pansy’s meddling and eventually her sound advice on how to best reconcile with Harry, and Harry told Draco of Teddy’s love of all things Quidditch, as well as how Granger and Weasley were coping with their two-month-old daughter.
“Ron’s talking about retirement from the Corps.”
“Really. That surprises me. You always made it sound like he loves it.”
“He does. He did. I don’t know. He’s had eight years of it now, and that’s a long time. We’re not kids anymore, and he knows that. I guess in some ways Rose has finally made him face the fact that he’s not immortal, and he’s starting to think he’s done enough dangerous work for a lifetime. Plus they didn’t give him paternity leave or anything, and his schedule is making it hard to be a parent. He wants better for Rose, and for Hermione.”
“I can understand that,” said Draco. “But there are other ways to work in law enforcement that don’t involve being in the field. Administration, instruction...”
“He’s considering that too,” said Harry. “If there’s an opening and he can get the post. They should let him have whatever he wants. He’s done so much for the Corps already, so they owe him. But that stuff’s more based on politics than merit, and… I don’t know. It’s a lot of paperwork, and Ron never much liked paperwork.”
Draco laughed. “Yes, I remember that from school. Lazy sod, he was.”
“Oi, be nice. That’s my best mate you’re talking about,” Harry said, still smiling. “Besides, if you’re going to call him a lazy sod, you’d have to call me one as well. I had the same bad study habits he did.”
“Maybe, but you had an evil megalomaniac to vanquish. I think that gives you a pass.”
“Ron had a big hand in me defeating Voldemort,” Harry reminded him. “As did Hermione, of course. So let’s not pretend I did it alone.”
Harry’s tone was still plenty playful, but Draco could tell this was territory in which it was best for him not to argue. And he also knew that if this relationship with Harry was going to move forward, it was inevitable that he would have to get along with Harry’s closest friends. It was a bizarre thought, the idea of socializing with the likes of Weasley, but for Harry, he would find some way to do it, and do it well.
“You’re right. I don’t have a leg to stand on in this argument,” he said.
Harry’s hands danced along the edge of Draco’s fringe a moment, the lamplight reflected in his soft gaze. “You had a hand in Voldemort’s defeat as well, let’s not forget.”
“Everyone played their part, for better or for worse,” Draco said. He snatched Harry’s hand and kissed his fingertips. He wasn’t sure how ready he was to have this particular conversation. He knew they would have it someday, and probably someday soon. There was a lot to sort through in their long and complicated history. And they would get there. But tonight, tonight was about something else.
Harry seemed to sense this too, because he steered the conversation back to Granger and the Weasleys. By the time their dessert course arrived they were ready to go back to the loveseat. They ate slowly and sipped on coffee, enjoying the way the night felt alive around them, and yet how they were still blissfully alone.
“I’m stuffed,” Harry said with a groan, pushing his plate of tiramisu away from him. “I can’t eat another bite, I swear.”
“Nor can I,” Draco agreed. Even though they had eaten it all over the course of a whole evening, it had still been a lot of food, and he was feeling sluggish.
“I think I’m about to go into a food coma.”
Draco laughed. “I’ll do my best to revive you if it comes to that.”
“Do you think this place does overnights? Because I wouldn’t mind just passing out right here, honestly.”
“Sadly, no. They will eventually make us leave.”
“How long do we have?”
Draco looked at his watch. “Not quite an hour.”
“Oh,” said Harry, sounding pleasantly surprised. “Plenty of time for a kip, then.”
Draco chuckled in disbelief as Harry rearranged himself, placing his head in Draco’s lap while the rest of him lay across the loveseat with his feet hanging over the edge.
“Comfortable?” he asked Harry sardonically.
“Yes, actually. Surprisingly so.” He shifted until he had his head where he wanted it, his eyes already closed.
“So I’ll just wake you in an hour, shall I?”
“Mm, perfect,” Harry replied, a hint of a wry smile on his lips.
It was perfect, actually. They were quiet, nothing but the chirping of unseen insects to be heard in the dark. They were both pleasantly warm and full of food, and the lamps were burning just brightly enough that Draco could catch each exquisite contour of Harry’s face. He traced them with a finger, beginning in the middle of his brow and down his nose, traveling across a cheek and then to one of Harry’s ears. His fingers shook a little as his index followed the lines of the faded lightning bolt scar, possibly the only scar of Harry’s that he had never touched. He’d been strangely afraid to, as if calling attention to it would remind Harry of who Draco was, of who he had been. But that was laughable, really. Harry had never for a moment forgotten who Draco was, and he had chosen Draco anyway.
He loved Draco anyway.
Swallowing against a sudden tightness in his throat, Draco let his fingers wander again, following Harry’s hairline down past his ear and to his jaw, where he lingered, feeling the strong edge of bone encased in smooth flesh. Then it was to his prominent chin and the smallest hint of a cleft there. And then, finally, to Harry’s miraculous lips, plump and soft. Those lips had done and said so many wonderful things to Draco that it was impossible to remember it all.
Harry smiled against his fingers, his eyes still closed. “What are you thinking about?”
“You,” Draco answered honestly. “This.”
Harry hummed and kissed the pad of Draco’s thumb.
“What are you thinking about?” Draco asked him.
Harry opened his eyes languidly, and they found Draco’s. “Something David told me at the start of the summer.”
Draco tilted his head, watching Harry’s mouth move, feeling a bit hypnotized. “What was that?”
“How you ripped him and Paul a new one for not making more of an effort to get to know me properly.”
Draco paused in the stroking of Harry’s hair. “They told you about that?”
“Yes. They admitted that they were remarking on that to you, on how difficult I am to get to know, and they said you defended me. Quite passionately, actually.”
“Oh.”
“They reached out to me, the both of them, right after I returned to Grimmauld for the summer. They said they wanted to spend more time with me. We got to talking, about you, mostly, and how you… weren’t around anymore. And David said he was shocked, because you were so defensive of me. Loyal. It was clear how much you cared.”
Draco licked his lips, trying to sort out why Harry was bringing this up. “I wasn’t sure if I had said the right thing at the time. I worried I said too much, that maybe I had interfered in your friendships in a way you didn’t want me to. If I did, I’m sorry for that.”
“No,” Harry said quickly. “That’s not it at all. I’m… glad you said those things. Because it broke through a barrier between David, Paul, and me, and because hearing it… gave me hope. That maybe you did… care for me.”
“Of course I did,” Draco said softly, resuming the movements of his fingers through Harry’s hair. “I do.”
“It made it easier to wait, hearing that.”
“Mm,” was Draco’s only reply.
“Does it bother you that I talked about you to them? I wanted someone to talk to, you know, and I couldn’t say anything to Ron and Hermione, because you and I had agreed that we would remain a secret. But I figured Paul and David are Muggles, and they already knew that we were together. So what was the harm?”
“No, I don’t mind,” said Draco. “I just wish I had been a fly on the wall for that conversation.”
Harry smirked. “You would have enjoyed yourself. I was quite… well, you could say I was pining, a bit.”
Draco smiled down at him. “Is that so?”
“Yes, and they could see it. They could see it easily. And they helped me, talked me through it, helped me get perspective…” His smirk widened, suddenly full of chagrin. “And David called me out, too.”
“How so?”
“I believe his exact words were… ‘Maybe this is good for you. Because now you know how it feels.’”
Draco thought that over, his fingers still playing in Harry’s soft, dark tendrils. “He was talking about the other men you’ve been with? The ones that developed feelings?”
Harry nodded. “He pointed out that I could see the other side of it, finally.”
“That’s a bit harsh.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Harry met Draco’s eyes again. “I think it was what I needed to hear, actually. It might have been some tough love, but that’s not always a bad thing. I’ve gone my whole adult life thinking that as long as I’m up front about my intentions and what I want, there’s no way I could hurt anyone. Because of course they would be up front also. And they wouldn’t dare to start feeling things they know they aren’t supposed to feel.” He took one of Draco’s hands in both his own and started playing with his fingers. “I thought I could do what I wanted and not have any consequences from it. But that’s because I wasn’t thinking about the fact that sometimes people have feelings they don’t want to have, that they know they’re not supposed to have. And they can’t help it.”
“Yeah, maybe. But that’s on them, not you. You didn’t actually do anything wrong,” Draco argued.
Harry considered that. “Maybe I didn’t do anything wrong, in a strict sense. But I did still hurt people, whether I intended to or not. And I think it’s important that I care about that. I think it’s important I feel sorry for that.”
Draco immediately thought of Kyle. There was someone who he had cared about, who he had never intended to hurt. But he had hurt him anyway, and he was very sorry.
“I know what you mean, actually,” he said.
Harry stared up at him for a moment or two. “You make me a better person. A more thoughtful person. You push me out of all of my old habits. That’s one of the reasons I love being with you so much.”
Draco smiled softly. “You make me better too.”
A soft bell sounded.
“What’s that?”
“We have five minutes before they come to retrieve us.”
Harry actually pouted, which, given his sleepy state was rather adorable. “I don’t want to leave. This is the best date I’ve ever been on.”
“Same here,” agreed Draco. “But it has to end sometime.”
“I suppose we’ll just plan another one.”
“I suppose we will. I’d like to come to this place again, choose a different destination. We could go all over the world.”
“True,” said Harry. “Or we could actually travel all over the world together if we wanted. What are summer holidays for, after all?”
Draco laughed. “You’re right. I was thinking we should take Francesca up on her offer of a Tuscan holiday next year, if we can. Experience the real thing.”
Harry beamed at him. “I’d like that.”
After some finagling Draco convinced Harry to sit up, and they both had a chance to visit the private loo before the hostess came to collect them. They walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, and Draco couldn’t help but notice the deep well of happiness that had pooled in his gut. The date had been a success.
And this was only the beginning.
He Apparated Harry home, and suddenly they were standing on the front stoop of Grimmauld Place again, ending where they had begun.
“Would you like to come inside?” Harry asked, biting his lip.
It was quite a tempting invitation to say the least. In truth, Draco didn’t want to walk away from Harry just yet. But he also knew it was an invitation he couldn’t accept, not right away.
“Not yet,” he said. “As much as I may want to.”
“You said that last time I asked,” Harry observed, watching Draco carefully. “Can I ask… what’s stopping you?”
Draco smirked. “It’s that I know exactly what would happen if I walked through that door. I know from experience. I can picture it, step by step. I know you. Every inch of you. And I wouldn’t be able to resist.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” said Harry, his eyes flitting to Draco’s mouth.
“It’s not a bad thing. It’s a wonderful thing, in fact. But just… not yet. I think we need more time.”
Harry absorbed that, tilting his head. “You want to wait.”
“Yes, for a little while. Not forever, obviously. But for a little while. I want to give us a chance to get our bearings as a couple. As a serious couple. I want to give us a chance to do other things together, to not let sex be our default position, if that makes any sense. Our default activity.”
“Hm,” said Harry. “That’s in interesting way to put it.” He didn’t seem upset, merely thoughtful, but Draco felt a need to explain more anyway.
“I just think that we spent so much time in bed the first time around, in a way we used that as our way of communicating, of expressing our feelings. And yet we didn’t actually do such a good job of communicating, did we? We were never really willing to say what we were feeling aloud. We let our bodies do the talking for us, and while I think that can be… nice, sometimes, it’s not what I want right now. I want us to actually talk. I want us to be honest and figure out what this is and what we want and… I want us to do it without sex, for the time being. I know it’s a lot to ask-“
“It’s not,” said Harry. “I understand what you mean. And I think you’re right. Obviously I…” He trailed off, his face breaking into an involuntary grin before he stifled it. “I want to be with you in every way… eventually.”
“Of course.”
“But if you need us to wait a little while, then I can do that. I’ve gone three months without it. I can go longer.”
“Wow, three whole months without a shag. You’re a marvel to us all, Harry Potter,” Draco said drily.
Harry shoved him lightly in the shoulder. “Prat,” he said.
Draco grinned. “Tosser,” he replied, shoving him back, but letting his hand linger on Harry’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze.
Harry laughed. “You better believe it. My hand and I have become very intimately acquainted recently.”
“I can imagine.”
“Oh, I hope you do,” Harry quipped cheekily.
“You’re a shameless flirt, you know,” Draco accused.
“Yes, but only with you now, I promise.”
“I certainly hope so.”
Harry’s expression sobered. “Only you. I mean it.” A hand reached up to cup Draco’s cheek.
“I know you do.”
“I’m serious about this, Draco. You want to know what I want? I want a life with you. A whole life, whatever we want to make it. I’m all in.”
Draco put a hand on Harry’s chest. “Me too,” he said. “All in.”
“Good.” They stayed that way, neither speaking, until Harry swallowed loudly and asked. “So, do I get a goodnight kiss, at least? Or do I have to wait on that too?”
“I think a kiss would be acceptable,” Draco murmured, realizing, for the first time, that they hadn’t even kissed yet. Everything about the evening had felt so intimate that it was hard to believe. But now… he wanted nothing more. He leaned forward, nuzzling Harry’s nose with his.
Harry tilted his chin up, letting their lips brush together. Draco let out a soft breath, and Harry a small whimper, and they both pressed forward.
Their lips knew each other, and they slid together easily, naturally, as if they had spent no time apart at all. It was sweet, almost chaste, at least until Harry opened his mouth a little, and Draco got his first taste of Harry’s tongue in months. He moaned, unable to help it, and slipped his tongue into Harry’s mouth. Harry welcomed him fully, clutching Draco to him with greedy hands.
“Gods, I missed you,” Draco breathed as Harry’s mouth descended to his neck. “I missed you so much, Harry.”
“Draco,” Harry moaned. His lips were everywhere, consuming every bit of Draco he could reach. He returned to Draco’s mouth, getting his fill before pulling away enough to say. “I love you.” He kissed Draco again. “I love you.”
Draco’s entire body clenched in pleasure at those words, and he knew they were in dangerous territory. If they didn’t stop now, they wouldn’t be able to stop at all. He slowed down the pace, getting in a few more light kisses before pulling away.
Both men stared at each other, Harry looking so thoroughly debauched and aroused that it took all of Draco’s willpower not to start things up again.
“When can I see you next?” he asked, to distract himself.
“Whenever you want,” Harry told him, still panting a bit.
“Well,” Draco said, finally getting ahold of himself and pulling away a couple more inches. “Your birthday is in two days.”
Harry went still. “That’s true.”
“I know you… I mean, I’m sure you have plans,” Draco said. “But I’d still love to see you, if I could.”
Harry nodded. “Yeah, I mean… I’m spending most of the day with Teddy. We’re having lunch and then going to a Quidditch match. And then the Weasleys are throwing me a party that evening. I would love for you to be there, but it’s going to be… you know… everyone. Not just the family, but a bunch of other Gryffindors and old friends from Hogwarts.”
“Right,” Draco said, understanding.
“Don’t get me wrong, I want to show you off,” Harry said with a wry smile. “But… it might feel like a lot, to ‘meet’ everyone all at once like that, as my… boyfriend, or lover, or… partner, or whatever.”
Draco laughed. “As all those things.”
“Yes. I want you to meet everyone eventually, but…”
“No, you’re right. It would be too much for me, I think. So maybe I could see you the next day, then, and we can celebrate together.”
Harry hesitated. “I’d really like to see you on the day, though. You could… if you wanted, you could have lunch with Teddy and me. It’s not ideal, but-“
“I wouldn’t want to encroach on your time with him,” Draco said.
“We’re just having a picnic in the park,” said Harry. “He won’t mind. He’ll probably spend most of his time on the playground anyway. Besides, he’s been very interested in meeting this cousin of his that he didn’t even know he had.”
Draco stared at him in surprise. “You told him about me?”
Harry blushed. “I may have mentioned you once or twice. And he wants to meet you. My birthday’s as good a time as any. We’ll have lunch the three of us and then I’ll take Teddy to the match afterward. What do you think?”
“That sounds nice,” said Draco.
“Great. Meet here around 11?”
“All right.” He ran a hand over Harry’s cheek. “I should go.”
Harry smiled wanly. “If you have to.”
“If I don’t go now, I’ll never leave.”
“That would suit me just fine.”
Draco chuckled. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
They grinned at each other. Draco allowed himself one last peck to Harry’s lips before he stepped away, turning on the spot and Disapparating.
***
Dear Mother,
The trip south sounds lovely. If memory serves, we visited Cassis once when I was small, did we not? I remember the winding coastline and the turquoise water. I hope your friend’s villa will be to your liking. Do tell me all about it when you arrive.
That is, so long as you still have it in you to write after you read what I have to say next. I have turned it over and over again in my mind, and it is hard to imagine a scenario in which you and Father will not be shocked, perhaps even angry. There was a time, in fact, when this alone would have prevented me from telling you at all. But things have changed a great deal in the past few days, and it has now become imperative that I tell you the truth before you inevitably hear it from other sources.
The news I have is not unhappy. In fact, I am quite happy about it. I think I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life. You, however, might have a hard time understanding why. I suppose I should begin at the beginning.
I was still suffering a great deal of heartbreak when I began my professorship at Hogwarts this past year. I’m sure you were able to garner that from my letters alone. It was a struggle to come to terms with what happened, but, in a way, this struggle was a blessing, because it forced me to self-examine to an extent I have never been willing to in the past. And I discovered something about myself that has changed the very course of my life. I discovered that I am attracted to, and in fact capable of falling in love with, men.
Yes, you read that right. I love both women and men. I have my whole life, it is clear to me now, even though I never let myself explore one half of my sexuality when I was younger. I was to marry a woman you chose for me, and a pureblood at that, and I was at your mercy because I had not yet inherited. It seemed pointless to explore, so much so that I denied that side of me even existed.
But my divorce set me free, and I used that freedom to see what other possibilities were out there for me. I will spare you the details, as I am certain you have no interest in hearing them, except to say that my experiences were comprehensive enough that I now have a thorough understanding of my preferences. I have also fallen in love, more deeply than I thought possible.
Before I tell you who he is, I want to make some things clear: yes, I am absolutely certain, no, this is not a phase that will pass, and no, this is not – though I am sure he will insist it is so anyway – something I am doing simply to spite Father. It is permanent and it is real, and it actually has very little to do with you or Father, in the end. It is simply who I am, and there is nothing either of you could say or do that will change this about me. It’s very, very important that you realize that, for all our sakes.
And now to the reality that may be most difficult of all for you to swallow: the man I am in love with is Harry Potter. It happened slowly, so slowly I barely noticed it, and the choice to be with him and be out to the world was one I thought long and hard about. So it is with great clarity of mind that I choose to be with him now. It is not a decision I made lightly. But it is the decision I’m making. I know better than anyone that there are few certainties in this world, but I truly believe that in choosing to build a life with Harry I am choosing a life of happiness. I truly believe that this relationship is the best thing for me.
This is neither a letter of goodbye nor a letter of apology. It is simply intended to inform you of this decision, mostly because I believe it is important now that you know, and also because you are bound to read about it in the papers soon, or hear about it from one of your connections still living here in Britain. It is hardly a secret, and I did not want to keep it from you. I have every intention of remaining your son, if you will have me, and I have every intention to still love you as my parents. But I also have every intention of loving Harry for the rest of my life. My hope is that these two things can be reconciled. Whether or not they can is solely up to you and whether you choose to accept this, and accept me. If you cannot, that is your choice. I will find a way to live with it. I have no doubt Harry will help me through it.
But know that I hope with all my heart that you can find a way to accept it. Having you in my life means a great deal to me. Never doubt that. I love you.
Your son,
Draco
***
Draco did not sleep much the night before Harry’s birthday. He’d sent off the letter to his mother the afternoon before, having spent most of the day composing and rewriting it until it said everything he wanted it to say. After his owl had flown off with said letter attached to its leg, Draco had found himself unable to sit still. There was no going back now. He’d taken the most difficult step of this entire endeavor and he had no idea what would come of it. He found it nearly unbearable waiting for the result.
He floo called Harry. He’d promised himself earlier that morning he wouldn’t, if only because the rekindling of their relationship was new and he though it important that they not overdo it. But after he sent the letter off he realized he could not keep it to himself. And the person he would always want to share something with first and foremost was Harry. So he gave in.
Harry was home and happy to talk with him. They both sat in front of their respective hearths, and Draco told Harry about his fears and anxieties, about the reaction he was sure to receive, and his uncertainties about how he would feel afterwards. Harry listened, talking very little, and Draco found that was what he needed. When Harry asked if he could hear the letter, Draco read to him from the copy he had made, blushing all the while.
“It’s beautiful, Draco,” Harry said softly. “I’m so proud of you.”
Draco felt better after that. He knew, whatever happened, that he had Harry by his side to help him through it. And more than that, as Harry himself pointed out. He had Pansy, Francesca, his other Slytherin friends, and the entire staff of Hogwarts, if he needed it. They were all in his corner. They all loved him.
He had a community. And whatever happened, he would not be left to deal with the aftermath of this alone.
Still, he found it difficult to sleep. He knew it was unreasonable to expect a reply as early as the following morning. His parents had to receive the letter first. Then they needed to react to it. Still, he felt a little ill as he ate a meager breakfast and waited for the owl post that morning. Nothing came. He would have to wait another day, at least.
Thankfully he had a picnic with Harry and Teddy to distract him. He dressed casually in jeans and a linen shirt, ready for the wonderfully warm weather. From his nightstand he picked up the box that contained Harry’s birthday present, and he shrank it and put it in his jeans pocket, his heart skipping a beat in his chest. He had no idea how Harry would receive the gift. Hopefully he would be love it. Or he might think it was too much. It was a risk, to be sure.
But Draco was rather about taking risks lately, and when it came to Harry he knew he wouldn’t want it any other way.
I’m all in, Harry had said to him. Draco had promised he was too. And he had meant it.
When he arrived at Grimmauld Place by floo, he immediately heard Harry’s voice, shouting good-naturedly down the hall.
“-and your shoes, too!” Harry was saying. “Hurry up! Draco will be here any minute!”
Draco stepped out of the front parlor and into the hall, spotting Harry by the stairs.
“Draco’s already here, actually,” he said.
Harry turned to him with a wide smile. “Yes, he is.” He approached, hesitated, then, when Draco nodded, gave him a kiss on the mouth in greeting. “Hello,” he said softly, almost shyly.
“Hi,” said Draco. “Happy birthday.” He kissed Harry again.
“Thanks. I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.”
“Teddy’s nearly ready. He’s misplaced his favorite trainers, apparently, and he’s looking for them.”
“Ah,” said Draco. “Do we need to help him?”
Harry shook his head. “I’m sure he’ll manage.” He stepped even closer, their bodies only a few inches apart now. “It’s so good to see you.” His hands found Draco’s waist, and Draco’s own hands drifted naturally to Harry’s elbows, holding him in place. “I feel spoiled getting to see you four days in a row. After… going so long without you.”
Draco smiled softly at him. “You’ll have to get used to it, I suppose.”
Harry leaned in, his eyes hooded and focused on Draco’s mouth. “Planning to stick around for a while then, are you?”
“Hmmm… I’m considering it, at least,” Draco replied with faux nonchalance.
Harry knew better, of course. After the past few days, the things that were said, and the letter Draco had sent only the day before, there was no question. Draco had made his choice.
Harry kissed him tenderly, and Draco’s hands snuck around to Harry’s back, bringing him closer.
Stomping on the stairs and a boy’s voice calling, “I found them!” had them separating, albeit reluctantly. Draco discreetly wiped his mouth and saw Harry do the same before turning back towards the stairs.
Teddy had stopped on the penultimate step, clutching a pair of blue and white trainers by the laces. He had turquoise hair, warm brown eyes, and a curious smile.
“Under your bed?” Harry asked.
He looked at Harry sheepishly. “Yeah.”
Harry smirked. “Didn’t I tell you?”
Teddy’s smile widened. “Yes.”
Harry ruffled the boy’s bright hair, then placed his hand gently on his back. “Teddy, this is my friend, your cousin, Draco Malfoy.”
“Hi, Teddy,” Draco said, holding out a hand. “It’s an honor to finally meet you.”
Teddy shook it, his hand warm and small in Draco’s own. “Hi,” he said. “Do you like Quidditch?”
“I love Quidditch,” Draco replied. “I played Seeker in school, for my house team.”
Teddy looked at his godfather. “Against Harry?”
Draco laughed sardonically. “Many times. He always beat me, though.” Even just a year ago it would have been painful to admit this. But now, now it didn’t matter.
“Well, he is the best Seeker Hogwarts has ever had. Uncle Ron told me so.”
“Well, if Uncle Ron said it, it must be true,” Draco replied with a sly look at Harry, who rolled his eyes.
“Come on, then. Get your trainers on,” Harry said to his godson. “Plenty of time to talk Quidditch on our way to the park.”
“’Kay,” said Teddy, plopping down on the stairs and doing as he was told.
“I’ll get the picnic basket,” Harry said, making his way in the direction of the kitchen. “And then we can head out.”
“Sounds good,” Draco said after him, sparing a moment to watch the brunet appreciatively as he walked away.
“So, what’s your team?” Teddy asked, getting Draco’s attention once again.
Draco grinned. “The Falmouth Falcons.”
Teddy nodded, lacing up one trainer very carefully before turning to the other. “They’re pretty good.”
“Pretty good?” Draco said incredulously. “They have Sabrina Warton. She’s the best Chaser in England.”
“In England, maybe,” said Teddy, standing up. “But the Holyhead Harpies have Ginny Weasley, and she’s the best Chaser in all of the UK.”
“That’s debatable,” said Draco. “Hiram Aranoff is pretty impressive too.”
“From the Magpies?” Teddy said, making a face. “No way.”
“Way. He’s on the short list for the international team next Cup round, so I hear.”
“That stuff’s really political anyway.”
Draco had to laugh. It was a strange phrase to hear coming out of an eight-year-old’s mouth.
“Did Ginny Weasley tell you that?”
“Yeah. So?”
“So…” Draco shrugged. He turned to see that Harry as making his way down the hall towards them, basket in hand. “She might be a little upset that she didn’t make the international team this year. That’s all I’m saying.”
“She was on the short list too. But they went with Connery.”
“That’s what I heard. I don’t really understand it. He never seemed like that great a flyer to me.”
“I know, right?”
Harry managed to finagle them out of the house, mostly through physical coercion, and they made their way out of the wards and down the street, Teddy still chatting to Draco all the while.
“We’re going to see a Holyhead Harpies match today for Harry’s birthday, you know.”
“I heard,” said Draco.
“They’re playing the Wasps. The Harpies are going to crush them. I can’t wait.”
Harry chuckled. “We’ll see.”
“The Harpies are the best,” Teddy said to his godfather incredulously. “You say so all the time.”
“Yes, I suppose I do,” admitted Harry.
Teddy turned back to Draco. “We know Ginny Weasley, you know. We have Christmas with her every year. And sometimes I see her other times, when she’s not traveling.”
“I did know that, actually,” said Draco.
“She’s really nice. On my birthday last year we went to a Harpies match and they won, and Ginny got the Harpies Seeker – that’s Malcolm Sellers, he’s really good – she got him to give me the Snitch he caught! Gave it to me as a birthday present.”
“That was very kind of them.”
“Yeah. It’s in my room at my Gran’s house. Not in my room at Harry’s house because I live with my Gran most of the time.”
“Mm.”
“Harry told me that my Gran and your mum are sisters.”
“That’s true. They are.”
“So do you know my Gran?”
“Not as well as I’d like. I saw her more when I was small. Smaller than you. But I’d love to see her again.”
“Oh. Well I’m sure that will happen. Harry says that you are going to be around a lot, so you’ll probably see her a lot too, don’t worry.”
Draco exchanged a look with Harry, who was a bit flushed.
“Well, Harry’s right about that.”
They arrived at the park, a small but well-kept patch of nature with a lovely green lawn shaded by a few trees and a playground where children were climbing about, swinging fearlessly, or running after each other.
“Can I?” Teddy turned to Harry, his gaze hopeful.
“Go on,” said Harry. “Draco and I will set up over there and you can join us when you get hungry.”
Teddy ran off to the playground without looking back.
“He’s an active kid,” said Harry. “Never turns down a chance to climb on something.”
“He’s really great,” Draco said, following Harry to the lawn. “Very outgoing.”
Harry smiled wryly as he unfolded the blanket he’d brought. “Oh, he’s outgoing all right.”
Draco turned to watch Teddy by the jungle gym. He’d already introduced himself to a few of the kids and was playing with them. When he looked back at Harry he found the brunet already sitting down on the blanket. Harry patted the spot next to him, and Draco sat as well.
“It’s obvious you’re doing a great job with him.”
Harry looked at Draco almost sadly. “I can’t take a lot of the credit. It’s mostly Andromeda. Being at Hogwarts makes it hard to be there for him most of the time.”
“He seems very comfortable with you, though. It’s obvious that he likes spending time with you.”
“I try to make up for it in the summer,” said Harry. “I see him a few times a week.”
“That’s great.”
“I’m really looking forward to three years from now, when he comes to Hogwarts. Then I can see him all the time. Keep an eye on him, like I promised his mum and dad.”
Draco nodded. “That will be nice.” He took Harry’s hand, and they sat in silence for a minute or two, watching Teddy play.
Draco thought about the box in his pocket, wondering if this would be the right moment to give it to Harry. He hadn’t given it much thought before, but it seemed like the sort of thing that would be best to give when it was just the two of them. And he wasn’t sure how much time they would have before Teddy decided he was hungry and returned to them.
“I got you something,” Harry said suddenly.
Draco went still, thrown by that, because he was about to mention the same thing. “What?”
Harry reached over to the picnic basket and took out a small, wrapped package the size of his palm. He held it out to Draco.
Draco took it, noting the cheerful red and blue paper and the neatly tied bow. “Harry,” he said, giving him a look. “It’s your birthday.”
Harry laughed. “Yeah, I’m aware.”
“Is this a thing, you giving people gifts on your birthday instead of the other way around?” Now that he thought about it, it seemed just the sort of thing Harry would do.
“Not usually,” said Harry. “I like getting presents. But I missed your birthday, you know. So I’m making up for it now.”
Draco kept eyeing him, but Harry’s eager face impelled him to open the gift anyway. The paper came away to reveal a black velvet box, and Draco lifted the lid.
Inside was a pair of cufflinks, oval in shape with flat faces, featuring inlaid designs made with intertwining shapes of silver and gold. Or, when he looked more closely at the small description, white gold and yellow gold. The design on each was different, and Draco traced the one on the left with a soft finger. It was a dragon. The other was a stag.
“You and me,” he said.
“I realized when I ordered them that I didn’t know your Patronus,” said Harry, his cheeks a bit pink. “But then I realized I could just use the creatures from the paper figures I made, and that would work just as well, to represent us. Do you like them?”
“They’re lovely.” And they were. Lovely, and masculine, and finely made.
“I know you don’t have much reason to wear them at Hogwarts,” said Harry quickly. “But, I figured, they go nicely with pretty much any dress robes, and Muggle shirts as well, when you want to wear a suit.”
“I love them, Harry,” Draco said. “They’re perfect.”
“Ok… well… good.”
“But how did you find… or did you custom order them? How did they fill the order so fast?” They’d only been officially back together for a couple of days. That was an impossibly quick turn-around, even for the Great Harry Potter.
Harry’s face reddened further. “I’ve… had them for a while, actually. I ordered them back in March.”
“In March.”
“When I left Hogwarts for Hermione’s baby shower, you remember?”
Draco did. Harry had spent the whole of a Saturday off the grounds to celebrate the impending birth of baby Rose. Draco had spent the afternoon in Hogsmeade with Francesca, pretending he didn’t miss Harry the entire time.
“Well, I also popped into my favorite jewelers in Diagon to have these made. I was going to give them to you on your actual birthday, but…” He shrugged.
Draco lowered his eyes in regret and shame. “But I ended it,” he said softly.
“Yes,” Harry agreed. “And then I didn’t know what to do. I thought about giving them to you anyway. I wrestled back and forth about it for months. I thought you ought to have them, at least to remember – to remember us. But I didn’t know if you wanted to. I didn’t know if it meant the same to you as it did to me.”
It meant so much to me Harry, he wanted to say, but couldn’t find his voice. And Harry was still talking.
“And the bravest part of me wanted to send them to you to show you… to finally tell you how I felt. I composed a letter in my head and everything, waxing poetic about how you and I…” He chuckled, somewhat sardonically. “About how you and I belonged together.”
Draco took a shaky breath and met Harry’s eyes. They were soft and clear, and full of an emotion Draco couldn’t quite name. There was love and happiness there, but also something that might have been chagrin.
“But, in the end, I decided not to. I decided to wait, to see what would happen when we returned to Hogwarts. And I suppose a part of me was afraid you would just think it was stupid or something.”
“Never,” Draco whispered. “I never would have thought it was stupid.” He tried to imagine what it would have been like, to receive this gift by owl, to receive an accompanying letter that laid out all of Harry’s feelings. What would it have changed? Would he have come to his senses sooner, knowing sooner how Harry felt? Could he have avoided hurting Kyle?
But then he remembered how far he had come from so many other things in the past couple of years, and how he wouldn’t be himself, as he was now, here with Harry like this, without every piece of it. He had learned just the right things along the way at the right moments, to be able to be here now. And he accepted that. He didn’t need it to be any other way, even if it meant he had made some mistakes.
“Thank you, Harry. I love them. They’re perfect.” He leaned over, tugging Harry gently by the shirt to bring him closer. Their lips met softly, Draco wanting to keep the kiss tender and sweet.
Harry was grinning when they pulled apart, and his eyes flitted briefly to the jungle gym where Teddy was still climbing around and talking to his new friends. Seeing that his godson was thoroughly occupied, Harry’s grin widened and he leaned in for another kiss. Draco was happy to oblige him.
“I have a gift for you too,” he said. “Because, you know, it’s actually your birthday.”
“Oh, is that so?” Harry replied, his smile still splitting his face in half.
“Yes. And I was excited about giving it to you, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pull out any more unexpected gifts, trying to one-up me.”
Harry laughed. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“All right.” He took a deep breath, then pulled the shrunk box out of his pocket. After discreetly casting a privacy charm so no Muggles would look their way, he enlarged the box before handing it to Harry.
Harry met his eyes briefly before efficiently removing the silver paper to reveal the square, wooden box underneath. The wood was dark and intricately carved along all sides.
“It’s beautiful,” Harry remarked.
“That’s not really the present,” Draco told him. “Open it.”
Harry lifted the lid and reached inside. When he extracted the small glass ball he looked at it curiously a moment before turning his face to Draco.
“Is this a Remembrall? Like what Neville had our first year at Hogwarts?”
“No,” Draco said with a chuckle. “Although it’s made by the same company. But this is much better than that. Give it a light squeeze.”
Harry did, and the ball filled with purple smoke. Looking more closely, Draco saw that there were also little puffs of yellow here are there, as well as the slightest hint of orange.
“Interesting design,” Harry remarked. “What does it mean?”
“It’s how I’m feeling right now,” Draco said. Harry looked at him sharply, and Draco felt his cheeks heat. “It’s… linked to me. To my emotions. When you hold it in your hand firmly like that, it will fill with smoke, and it will change color according to what I'm feeling at the moment.”
Harry stared at it, fascinated. “It’s sort of like those mood rings I’ve scene Muggle teenagers wear. Except this is actually… I suppose it really works.”
“It should. And it should only work for you. It knows your magical signature now. It won’t work for anyone but you or me.”
Harry looked at the smoke a moment. “How will I know what the colors mean?”
“There’s a small roll of parchment inside the box. It lists all the colors and the emotions they represent. I think it’s also the sort of thing you learn over time, the more you spend with it.”
“Do you know what these colors mean?” Harry asked him, his voice sounding a bit tight.
Draco nodded. “Do you want to look it up, or do you want me to tell you?”
“I want you to tell me,” Harry said, staring at Draco intently.
“Well, the yellow is happiness, and that little bit of orange is anxiety, because… well I suppose I was nervous about how you’d feel about this present. But purple is the dominant emotion right now. And that’s… love.”
He expected Harry to look at him again, to smile, to thank him, but he just kept staring at the glass ball in his hand.
“Harry?” Draco put a hand on Harry’s knee. “I… is it all right? Did I…? Do you like it?”
When Harry finally looked at him, his eyes were wet. “Draco,” he said roughly. “Do you… do you have any idea what this is?”
Draco blinked at him, thrown.
“This is your heart, Draco. You’re letting me see inside your heart.”
“Yes,” Draco said softly. “I know.”
“Only me.”
“Yes.”
“You’re just… giving it to me.”
“Yes. I’m ready to.”
Harry sniffed, wiping his eyes. “Merlin,” he said, almost to himself.
“I trust you, Harry. And I wanted you to know just how much. I know you’ll keep it safe.”
Harry let out a stifled sob, and Draco put a hand on Harry’s back in comfort, leaning into him. “Fuck. This is so… I don’t even have words for what this means to me.” He inhaled and exhaled shakily a few times. “I will keep it safe. I promise. I’ll never abuse it.”
“I know,” said Draco, swallowing against the lump that had formed in his throat, seeing Harry react this way.
Harry wiped his eyes again. “Gods, and you were worried I was one-upping you. When all I gave you was a pair of cufflinks and you gave me your heart in a box.”
Draco laughed lightly, brushing some moisture off of Harry’s cheek. “It wasn’t actually a competition, you know. I wasn’t expecting a gift at all.”
Harry nodded. “I know that.”
“Besides, I know they’re more than just cufflinks. I know what they mean. I know now how long you… wanted this. Us. They tell me that you really thought about this and that you’ve been ready for a long time.”
“Yes,” said Harry. “That’s exactly it.”
“And that means a hell of a lot to me, to know that.”
“Good.”
Draco kissed him again, enjoying the way Harry’s lips had become even softer, and a little salty, from his unexpected tears. Draco didn’t mind that at all, now that he knew that Harry was not upset, but rather deeply moved.
Draco had done something good. He had clarified even more just how invested he was in this, and Harry had done the same.
He gave Harry a few minutes to recover, and when Harry looked essentially back to normal and gave him an affirmative nod, he lifted the privacy charm.
“Are you hungry?” Harry asked him.
“Yeah, starving, actually,” Draco replied. Now that the gift was given and his nerves had died down, the miniscule breakfast he’d eaten felt like ages ago.
“Teddy!” Harry called to his godson, who was swinging on a swing but looked in their direction when he heard his name. “Come on, time for lunch!”
Teddy flew off the swing with practiced grace, waving goodbye to the boy he’d been swinging next to and coming to join Harry and Draco on the picnic blanket. Harry began unpacking the basket, taking out one tasty treat after another. He’d gone all out, with sausage rolls, ham hock, crusty bread, soft cheese, fresh veg, and a big flagon of pumpkin juice.
Teddy downed a glass of juice quickly, clearly thirsty from his exertions on the playground, while Harry fixed him up a plate with all his favorites.
“Eat the vegetables too,” Harry told him as he handed him the plate.
“I will,” said Teddy, clearly a practiced reaction to a habitual chiding. He bit into a carrot to prove his point, and Harry nodded, seeming satisfied.
Draco and Harry both had a little bit of everything as they asked Teddy about what he did on the playground and the kids he had met. When they’d exhausted that topic, Teddy asked Draco about his parents, wondering why he had never met them if Narcissa and Andromeda were sisters.
“They live in France now, actually,” Draco told him. “They don’t really come back to Britain much.”
“Why not?”
Draco shrugged. “I suppose they really like it there.”
“But don’t you miss them?”
“Sometimes,” said Draco, after a quick glance in Harry’s direction. “But I can go visit them if I want. That’s what I did at Christmas.”
“Oh,” said Teddy. “I’ve never been to France.”
“It’s lovely.”
“Could my Gran and I go for a visit? And you and Harry too?”
Draco exchanged a longer look with Harry, unsure how to answer that.
“Maybe someday, Ted,” Harry said to his godson. “But not right away. It’s the sort of things that requires a lot of planning.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sure my mother would love to meet you, though,” Draco told him. “Next time I write to her, I’ll tell her all about you.” Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part, but Draco wanted to believe it was possible that his mother would still want to read his letters. He supposed he would have to wait for a reply to his most recent one before he would know for sure.
Teddy grinned. “’Kay.”
“How about some dessert?” Harry suggested. “I brought my favorite.”
“Treacle tart?” Teddy asked, bouncing up and down on the blanket.
“That’s right,” said Harry. “And this one is very special, because Draco was the one who gave it to me.”
Draco laughed, surprised. “I’m impressed that you managed to not eat it before now.”
Harry smiled. “Well, I’ve already eaten everything else in the box. But I saved the best for last. Delayed gratification, and all that.”
They dug in, each of them having a big slice despite the sizeable lunch they’d eaten before. Soon it was time to go, and they were well fed and chatty as they cleaned and packed up.
“You can come to the match with us today if you want,” Teddy told Draco as they left the park. He turned to his godfather with wide eyes. “Can’t he, Harry?”
Harry ruffled the boy’s hair, making him smile. “It’s sweet of you to invite him. But the match is sold out, I’m afraid. And we don’t have an extra ticket.”
“I think Harry wants to spend some time with you on his own for his birthday anyway,” Draco told him. “But I’ll see you again soon, I’m sure.”
“Are you coming to the party tonight?”
“Not tonight, no.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Draco wasn’t sure he could explain it without telling at least a white lie. “By the time I knew the party was happening, I’d already made other plans.”
“What other plans?”
“Teddy,” Harry admonished with a raised eyebrow. “You’re being a bit nosey.”
“Oh,” said Teddy. “Sorry.”
Draco chuckled. “It’s quite all right. The next time there’s a party for Harry, I’ll be sure to be there, I promise.”
Teddy seemed placated, and when they got back to the house he immediately fled up the stairs to his room to change for the Quidditch match. Draco followed Harry to the kitchen, helping him unpack the basket and put things away.
“Well, Teddy obviously approves,” Harry remarked happily. “Not that I was worried, really.”
“Does he understand… you know, what this is? What we are?”
Harry nodded. “He knows I’m gay, and he’s old enough to know what that means. But I’ve also never introduced him to someone I was dating before. As you know, I was never serious enough with any of them.”
“Right.”
“So, this is new for him, me having a boyfriend. But he loves meeting new people and he’s very comfortable with adults. And he wants me to be happy.”
“I’m sure.”
“His birth parents may be gone, but he’s a very well-loved kid. Andromeda, the Weasleys, Hermione, me… there are a lot of people in his life who are there for him. He’s never been the type to get jealous when someone else is taking up my attention. He gets plenty of it, and he’s always seemed pretty happy.”
“I can definitely see how that’s true,” said Draco. Harry started in on washing the dishes, and Draco joined him at the sink to help dry. “You know it’s… interesting,” he added after a minute of working in silence. “I knew he was your godson, of course. But I never thought about the fact that his parents are gone. Which is stupid, I suppose. But I didn’t give much thought to what a large role you play in his life.”
Harry nodded, rinsing a plate and handing it to him. “I certainly try. But it’s like I said before, being at Hogwarts makes it hard. At the same time, though, there isn’t anyone who quite has the same role as I do. He stays over here a lot in the summer, and it’s been that way since he was a baby. So I guess we have… you know, a bond.”
“Yeah.”
Harry watched Draco drying another plate with his wand for a minute. “I suppose that’s something I maybe should have asked you. About how you felt about that. Me having this eight-year-old in my life who I take care of sometimes. I guess it’s the sort of thing people in committed relationships are supposed to discuss.”
“We can talk about it if you want,” Draco said, adding the dried plate to the stack on the counter. “But I can tell you right now I don’t have an issue. The opposite, in fact. I like seeing you with him. It’s sweet.” Knowing Harry was already practiced at parenting only made him more appealing, though Draco wasn’t sure if now was the time to mention that. Pansy’s caution about rushing into the children conversation too fast had stuck with him. He definitely didn’t want to rush things.
“That’s good. I’m glad,” Harry replied, smiling softly. “I mean, I didn’t honestly think you would. But I guess I’m realizing that the first time around you saw this very small sliver of my life, and I only saw a small sliver of yours.”
“And now we’re going to be experiencing everything.”
“Yeah. It’s going to be different.”
The dishes were done and Harry dried his hands. Then he turned to Draco and wrapped arms around his waist.
“It will be different,” Draco agreed. “But I think it will be a good different. Great, even.”
They looked into each other’s eyes a moment.
“I think so too,” Harry said. “I’m just learning as I go, I suppose.”
Draco kissed him. “Me too.”
Harry kissed him back, cupping Draco’s face to hold him there. At least, until both men heard some giggling behind them and turned to look. Teddy was standing there, a mischievous grin on his face.
“You came in very sneakily,” Harry accused him, pulling away from Draco a little. “Were you spying, perchance?”
“No,” Teddy said, but the grin gave him away. “Just looking.”
Harry shook his head, seeming mostly amused, though his face was fairly red. He pointed towards the hall. “Go put your shoes on.”
Teddy looked down at his feet. “But I have my shoes on.”
“Well , then… just go wait for me by the door, would you? Cheeky rascal.”
Teddy giggled again. “I already saw you kissing earlier at the park, you know. It’s not even a big deal.”
But he did as he was told, flashing them one more grin before disappearing down the hall. Draco chuckled.
“He certainly is a cheeky rascal, isn’t he?”
“You have no idea,” Harry said drily. “Just you wait.” He gave Draco a peck. “I suppose we have to get going.”
Draco nodded. “Yes, I suppose so.”
“Can I see you tomorrow? I’d like to keep up this streak we have going.”
“Of course. How about lunch. And then maybe do something in the city in the afternoon?”
Harry kissed him once more, lingering, making it count. “Perfect.”
***
Draco was just finishing his toast when the owl post arrived the following morning. He knew immediately something was wrong just from the look on Nixie’s face alone when she came to deliver the small stack to him.
Then he spotted the red enveloped sandwiched in the middle, and knew exactly what was about to happen.
“Give me the red one,” he told Nixie.
“Master…”
“It’s all right,” he said gently. “Just give it to me, please.”
She did. Now that it was in his presence, it was already starting to smoke. He took one final breath and opened it.
“DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY,” his father’s voice boomed through the dining room, loud certainly, but also rather slow and deliberate in its cadence. “YOUR MOST RECENT LETTER WAS UNACCEPTABLE. YOUR CHOICES AND BEHAVIOR ARE UNACCEPTABLE. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US, AND WITH HIM OF ALL PEOPLE? I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT, MARK MY WORDS. I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO PERVERT THE NAME OF MALFOY. IT IS A DISGRACE. CORRECT YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.”
Draco watched the letter burn to ash, mouth resting solemnly against shaky hands. Well, he had been expecting it. He had known it would come. He had always known.
But a part of him had still hoped. He thought maybe his mother would have compassion and could help her husband see reason.
Apparently not.
“Are you all right, Master Draco?” Nixie asked softly.
“Yes, Nixie. Thank you. I’m all right.”
“He isn’t meaning it, sir, I’m sure.”
“He means it,” Draco said darkly. “The bit about perversion and disgrace at least. The threats… I’m not so worried about those.”
“The wards are impenetrable, sir.”
Draco looked at her. “I don’t think he would dare do anything to the ancestral home, don’t worry. He would never actually commit violence over this. It’s too much of a risk.”
Nixie thought that over. “No, you is probably right about that.”
“He doesn’t have much clout anymore either, and he knows it. He just… wants me to be ashamed.” Draco knew this was so. He’d stopped having any physical fear of his father long ago. The only thing Lucius Malfoy had been able to lord over Draco in his adulthood was his approval. For a long time, Draco had wanted that more than he cared to admit. Now it didn’t seem so important.
He had regrets about his mother, though. He hoped maybe she would write to him in secret. It was early yet. She might come around.
And until then, Draco had others to turn to.
Leaving the last bits of his breakfast behind, he made his way to his study to make a floo call. Perhaps Harry was awake and would be all right if he came over earlier than planned.
He had a feeling he was welcome.
goddess-of_dragons: Thanks!! Draco has done a lot of growing in the last few chapters, including finally turning to Pansy again, which I think it really important. I hope this chapter satisfied all your curiosities!
Looking forward to reading the chapter you posted this week too! Probably tomorrow :)
merryweather: Thank you so much! It’s great to hear that I’m balancing the characters well between who they were in canon and my own take on them. That’s really important to me! The romance is just heating up, as you can see. We’ve entered the much fluffier part of the fic :)
This will eventually have to end, of course, But I promise I will always write more stories!
Callidus-Anguis: Thank you so much for your review and your requests! It’s great to know what kinds of things you want to see. A lot of the things on your list are going to show up in the final chapters of this fic. As for how far I’m taking it, there actually won’t be much past the summer (though there will be an epilogue), but I have been thinking about doing some bonus chapters once the fic is done, and I will take your suggestions to heart and see what I can tackle!
I’ve definitely gotten a lot of practice with smut in this story lol. I’m glad you’re enjoying that element, because I did want it to be both sexy and well-written. There will be more smut to come in the final chapters as well!
Shaymarsh640: Thanks for the great list! I will put all of these ideas in the mix and see what I can come up with!
Lol I loved that you mentioned the unfinished love letters to Harry because I had so much fun writing those. I can definitely see Harry stumbling upon them down the line or something and being totally charmed by them. I find Draco so adorable in that moment.
I think Draco’s conversation with Pansy was key to him figuring out how to approach Harry again. As you said, coming in with some kind of checklist, in my experience, doesn’t work very well. In truth, he knows he wants Harry, and they will navigate their needs together as their relationship deepens. A list of demands isn’t a very auspicious beginning.
I hope you enjoy the date and the fact that I threw in some tears on Harry’s part for you! I usually don’t have my characters get super emotional in that way, but sometimes it’s called for. I just couldn’t resist this time around :)
I have been really enjoying your long reviews, and it makes me so happy that you’re invested! Because I have put a lot of time and energy into this, and a lot of myself too. So it honestly means a lot when you take the time to let me know what you think. We all need a little warm and happy Drarry in our life, don’t we? I know I do. <3
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A Secondary Education