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Duck Duck Goose	By : MysticSong Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 14139 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. We do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Author�s Note:

Disclaimer: We own nothing but the story concepts. All HP characters and similarities to the books are JK�s. Much to our disappointment.

Deep apologies for the long delay. This has been a very hard year for both of us.

Dedication: Mystic would like to dedicate this chapter to her online friend magicphoenix05. Mystic had ideas but was in a writing slump (dead muse?) and magicphoenix05 asked for one more role playing session (her original character plus my Snape) so I could see how she�d developed her character. Mystic was sleepy but agreed, and once she got back into that, found herself typing away on this chapter. So, thank you a bunch magicphoenix05, I really appreciate it! - Mystic

Love MysticSlave

Chapter Nineteen: Missionary . . . Position

From the shadows, Ron and Harry watched, curious, as their new professor dragged their best friend along behind him. It was unlike Hermione to be so complacent.

�Come to think of it, there was a lot about her . . .�

Ron interrupted his thoughts: �Do you think he hexed her?�

Harry nodded. �It�s a possibility. She probably wasn�t paying a bit of attention since she was headed towards the library. It doesn�t look like it�s the Imperious curse, but her body is rag-doll limp.� Harry studied his friend a moment. He hadn�t been pleased with what he saw as Hermione�s apparent rebellion a few weeks ago, especially considering what Minerva did to the majority of the male population of Hogwarts in some sort of odd-placed retaliation, but �Mione was still his friend and he wasn�t about to let some new hot-shot professor drag her off for who only knows what sort of activity.

�Think we should follow him?�

Harry hesitated a moment. He knew that generally speaking, �Mione could take care of herself, but she�d seemed a bit off lately, almost as if it weren�t really . . .

The end of fourth year simmered and bubbled up from the recesses of his mind, and came forth coupled with not one but two very recent disasters from his seventh year Potions class.

�Polyjuice,� breathed Harry, despairingly.

�Polyjuice?�

�Ron, we had two Polyjuice disasters in Potions this year � at least one of which Hermione was party to, and you must remember how Madame Pomfrey said she�d always be more susceptible to the effects after what happened our second year . . . and this Polyjuice was mixed with all sorts of wrong things!�

�So you�re thinking it isn�t even Hermione . . . hasn�t been Hermione for a long time?� Ron�s strategically-bent brain was ticking furiously as he began to put puzzle pieces together.

�I�m not sure, but either way, we can�t leave her body prey to the professor . . . even if he is awfully hot,� sighed Harry wistfully.

Ron shook his head in amusement. Harry and Seamus hungered after the dour Potions professor the way he hungered over any and all meals: relentless, driven, never quite satisfied.

�He does beat that wig you dug up,� he said, waggling his fuzzy red eyebrows at Harry.

The two young men started with Quidditch-honed reflexes as they felt a presence creep up next to them. Turning, they found Seamus eyeing them. �What are you two doing in this part of the castle?�

�Trying to decide if �Mione�s been Polyjuiced again,� answered Harry. �Professor Siyamak just hexed her and dragged her down that hall . . . I think his private chambers are down there.�

Severus gulped inaudibly. No one really had any ideas what the new, dark man may try. Damn Albus and his indiscriminate methods of hiring.

Harry may be the bane of his existence, but he wasn�t stupid, and if he�d figured out Hermione had been . . .

With a sigh, he beckoned to the remaining two-thirds of the Golden Trio. �Come with me, I need to tell you something, but I can�t do it here.�

Curious, concerned for Hermione, but curious nonetheless, the boys followed the presumed Seamus Finnegan into the deep recesses of the castle, as he led them the secretive back way to Severus� private chambers.

Hermione looked up startled; she hadn�t been expecting company. �Severus?� she called out � not even Albus could get in the way the Head of Slytherin had just entered . . . unfortunately he was not alone, and Ron and Harry held gob smacked expressions.

Had Professor Snape lost it? Breathed in too many fumes? Is that why he wasn�t teaching? Why did Seamus know how to get in here anyhow? Seamus confused them further by stepping forward, calling out, �It is I, Hermione . . . and the rest of your Golden Trio.�

A dark, but questioning look from the professor was the only reply.

�They started to figure it out, and Seamus is in trouble, so I brought them to see the brains of their operation . . . I figure it is time they knew, and damn Albus for letting it get this far.�

A light, dim at first, but fanning and growing quickly amidst rage and horror was coming on for Ron and Harry.

It was Ron, however, who spoke first, tact and grace absent as usual.

�Buh-wah�� Blimey, Harry! You buggered Snape that night!� He turned to look at �Seamus� �Didn�t he, Professor?� Rom demanded of the Irish boy.

�Yes,� Severus said simply. Beating around the bush pointless as far as he could see.�

Harry inhaled, a deep reedy whistling of air, before exclaiming, �Oh, hell!� And with that, the Boy Who Lived fainted dead away.

Severus couldn�t help but snicker.

Ten or so minutes later found Harry�s form draped carelessly over the divan in Severus� private quarters, eyes blinking as he came back into reality, a very mild enervate having been placed on him to get things going.

Harry blinked bemusedly at his friends and his professor, who was doing his best to smirk using the jovial Irish boy�s features, and asked, �What would Siyamak want with the person whom he believes is Hermione anyhow?�

Hermione sighed. �When the man is on hols from the magical institute he usually calls home, he lives near my parent�s neighbourhood and apparently decided I�d be a good catch for him. I�ve been trying to shrug it off, and thought Severus here did a quite remarkable job at keeping things from progressing any further at all over the winter hols, but apparently it just made him all the more determined to have me. Although why he�d want an insufferable know-it-all is beyond my comprehension.�

Severus placed a hand on the side of Hermione�s face and simply looked at her, before turning to the boys who were quite startled to find the man had a gentle side. Even Ron could tell that their friend and the Potions Master had obviously become quite close, although just how close he had no inkling.

�So what exactly has been going on this year, �Mione?� asked Ron anxiously.

Hermione spread her long fingers in front of her as she settled back into her favourite chair.

�Harry, I�m sure you remember that first rather spectacular accident we suffered in Potions class? Well, when I woke up from the incident I was in the infirmary and so was Professor Snape. It didn�t take long to realise that somehow the Polyjuice potion�s effects had caused us to switch bodies. Poppy alerted Albus who informed us that we were strictly forbidden from telling anyone what had happened and that we had to continue on with our lives pretending that we were in fact who we appeared to be. You can imagine this has caused all sorts of trouble.�

�I�ll say!� exclaimed Ron, �Didja hear about what happened to quite a number of the other guys?�

Hermione crossed her legs uncomfortably at that remembrance.

�McGonagall got you too, didn�t she!� hooted Harry.

�Yes,� ground out Hermione, �and it was bloody uncomfortable!�

�What I don�t understand is why our Head of House would do something like that, Hermione,� mused Ron. �She�s always seemed so . . . caring towards all her students. It�s more like something you�d do to protect the honour of . . . Oh��..�

The blush that rose on Hermione�s cheeks looked decidedly odd on the pale face of the Potion Master.

�Hermione!� exclaimed Harry. �You and . . . . you and?�

�Come now,� murmured Severus, �let us not faint again, mmmm, Potter?�

Bolstered by annoyance of Severus teasing her astounded friend, she snapped, harsher than she meant to, �Yes, Harry, Minerva�s my lover.� She paused, her features taking on a sad look, �at least she was. I�m not sure she�ll want me anymore. She�s not very forgiving.�

�No kidding!� exclaimed Ron, unable to come up with anything else at the moment.

��Mione, if she loves you enough to take up your cause and disfigure the men of Hogwarts, I�m sure she�d want you back.�

Hermione just sniffed. �That�s assuming I ever get my body back. That and . . .� she sighed, and looked downwards at her well-glamoured body.

Harry looked at her suspiciously. �Why not? What are you hiding? Do . . . do you love Professor Snape?�

Said professor�s head snapped upwards at that from his careful studying of his hands. He was missing his own, long, tapered fingers.

�It is not that . . . simple,� he murmured, his voice low.

�Why? Either she loves you or she doesn�t.�

Ron peered at Hermione thoughtfully. There were slight changes, mood differences, things not even glamours could cover . . . and he knew more than Harry did about certain traits of powerful male wizards.

�Hermione!� he breathed. �You didn�t! You�re not!�

Hermione�s eyes were soulful as Harry begged Ron to clarify the situation.

�Harry, mate, �Mione�s pregnant!�

�But�. She�s a he!�

Severus shook his head. �Albus really needs a Wizard�s studies class as much as he does Muggle studies.�

�Why do you think I made you take that potion I got from the twins?�

�I thought it was some sort of silly gag you were pulling that would give me funny spots or something,� Harry explained.

�Mate, no, if you hadn�t taken it, you�d be up the duff, just like Hermione.�

Hermione snorted, �And Severus.�

The two boys looked at him in shock. �No wonder we have a new Potions professor and . . . blimey, he still has your body, Hermione!�

Hermione dropped her face into her hands. �Merlin, help me!�

Severus laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. �I think that it is best we all go and deal with this situation. Albus is always ready to step up to defend his professors, even if it puts his students in danger. I�m afraid I may be the reason for that large blind spot of his.� He sighed. �But you two,� he said, pointing at Harry and Ron, �will need the help of a professor, which will be myself, and the semblance of really having one with you, which will be Hermione.� He stood and dusted non-existent specks off his robes.

�Shall we?�

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All fearing the worst, they moved swiftly through secret corridors that Snape directed them into, too worried to even bother to intimidate them out of using them in the future.

There was only silence from Siyamak�s quarters; of course this was most likely attributed to a silencing spell.

Snape traced an intricate pattern on the door with his wand and suddenly they could see through it.

�What was-?�

�Dark magic. Don�t attempt to replicate it,� Snape said in hushed undertones.

Peering through the now transparent door, it was all Hermione could do to stifle her outrage.

The �good� professor had her lithe form pinned to his daybed, stroking her, telling her how beautiful she was, telling her how he knew they were always meant to be together.

There was fear in her eyes, but her form was unmoving. Hermione did not know if it was Seamus� fear, or a spell from the Potions professor that kept him unmoving; perhaps a combination of both.

With a flick of the wrist, a wordless Alohamora flung open the door, and Snape�s famous icy tones cut across the room, chilling Siyamak into stillness.

�Just what exactly do you think you are doing,� Hermione hissed.

Although caught off-guard, the Potions professor quickly composed himself and turned to face the Potions Master.

�Hermione is a dear friend of mine, Severus, and as I haven�t seen her since Christmas, we wanted a little time to get . . . reacquainted.�

Hermione raised a brow. �It does not appear that Miss Granger shares this supposed mutual wish of yours, Sage,� she murmured, pointing to her rigid frame. �I believe it would be in your best interest to cease your drivel and any activity you may be contemplating and let her return to her studies.�

Sage shifted slightly, and Hermione and her entourage were startled to find that he had stripped the girl�s body of her clothes; as chilly as the room was, however, Seamus made no move to cover his abrupt nudity. It was as if he had been petrified.

Hermione snarled, and before anyone could stop her, had cast, in rapid succession, a powerful stupefy followed by petrificus totalis!

Sage dropped heavily onto the edge of the daybed, and, with a loud thud rolled unceremoniously onto the hard floor below.

Snape snickered.

So did Harry and Ron.

With a gentleness surprising to anyone who did not yet know the truth about who was really behind Severus Snape�s austere form, Hermione scooped her own body gently from the bed, and with a quick housekeeping-type spell learned from Molly Weasley, re-clothed her form, and then peered into her own eyes.

She was met by blankness, and turned to look fearfully at Severus.

�There�s nothing there. It�s as if his soul was extinguished.�

Snape sighed. Nothing was ever easy with this lot of Gryffindors. He grasped the girl�s chin in his hand and cast Legilimency with practiced ease.
After a few moments he withdrew. �I believe that Mr. Finnegan is only in a trance; whether it is self-induced for his own protection or cast by him, I couldn�t say. We need to make a visit to Minerva.�

�Shouldn�t we see the Headmaster about this first since he knows about the body-swapping?� asked Harry.

Hermione shook her head. �We need an ally, and we can�t be sure that the Headmaster will be one since he�s made us live this sham all year. Besides, Minerva already knows; came as quite a shock to her too, the poor dear.�
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