Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Ceremonies of Strife	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 16218 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I am making no money from this writing.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter
Nineteen�Interacting

�� Trainee
Potter.� Aran held Harry back after the Spell Lexicon class, staring intently
into his eyes. �I have something to say to you.�

�� Harry
nodded and gestured for Ron and Hermione, who were both hovering around him, to
leave the classroom. It wasn�t as though he could practice necromancy when Aran
was right there.

�� Hermione
left with several backwards glances. Ron was frowning deeply, but he seemed to
have reached the same conclusion Harry had, because he didn�t hesitate as much.
In fact, he put a hand on Hermione�s shoulder and said something that made her
laugh.

�� Harry bit
his lip and wished he wasn�t so disgustingly jealous. Once, he�d had something
like that with Draco.

�� No, you didn�t. You only thought you did,
because he trusted you and you didn�t give him reason to question you too
closely.

�� Harry
clenched the edge of his book tightly as he waited for Aran to speak. His
conscience had been merciless since he�d been found out. Most of the time, it
spoke in Hermione�s voice, but it said things that Hermione wouldn�t have tried
to convince him of. Harry hated the sensation of an internal monitor in his
head with words that shook him awake, lashed him down the corridors on his way
to classes, and checked every movement he might have made to reconcile with
Draco.

�� Don�t you think you�ve hurt him enough?
Congratulations, you�ve officially hurt him more than Voldemort managed to.
Quite an accomplishment.

�� Harry shook
his head and focused on Aran. He�d done wrong, and he would have to accept that
there was nothing he could do to make up for it, but sometimes, that was so hard.

�� Your work
has been off in the class,� Aran said, with his usual bluntness. He paced in
front of Harry, slapping his right hand into his left palm. His eyes were
intense enough that Harry winced when he thought of them paired up with the
voice of his conscience. He would probably spend the rest of his life hunched
at the foot of his bed and praying for forgiveness if that happened. �Nor have
you responded adequately when I tried to train you privately. I demand to know
what has happened.�

�� The
reminder dried Harry�s throat of saliva for a moment. Of course the private session with Aran had been unproductive. Draco
had been right there beside him, as cold and beautiful as a winter sun, and as
unresponsive. He�d kept his face turned away the entire time, and spoken only
to Aran. But when Harry happened to glance down, he�d seen Draco�s fingers
folded into a fist.

�� Draco only looked stoic. He was suffering on the
inside.

�� That made
Harry feel even worse, of course, and the words he had been trying to work up
courage to speak died in his throat. What could he possibly have to say that
Draco would want to hear?

�� Draco and
I had�a row,� Harry said, when the sound of hand slapping palm reminded him
that Aran was still waiting for an answer to his question. He swallowed and met
the man�s impatient eyes. �It�s affected the way that we work together in all
contexts.� �Contexts� was a word that Hermione might have used, and Harry
thought he could justly feel proud of it. Aran�s eyes at least narrowed in
consideration, the way they wouldn�t have if Harry had tried an absolute lie.

�� Well,
reconcile,� Aran said a moment later, as if it were that easy.

�� I hurt him
too badly for that, sir,� Harry said simply.

�� In my
experience,� Aran said, �all hurts can be forgiven.� He was speaking in a
clenched voice, his lips not quite covering his teeth, and Harry realized a moment
later, with some astonishment, that he sounded as if he were speaking something
he did not believe. Harry stared at him, and Aran promptly bobbed his head and
smiled widely, as though he thought that would convince Harry. The smile looked
like a grimace. �It only depends on the way that you look when you do it, and
the words you speak,� Aran added.

�� Harry
quashed the temptation to step back from the man. He was only normal. Surely he
had to be. Harry knew that Portillo Lopez had examined every person in the
Aurors for the grief magic infection after Nemo was murdered, searching for
whose body he might have taken, and Aran would have been quietly captured if
he�d been corrupted.

�� Unless she killed Nemo, the way you thought
she did.

�� But then
Harry decided that didn�t matter. If Portillo Lopez had killed Nemo, she would
have been eager to find out what body his spirit had decided to possess next,
so that she could kill him again.

�� Er,� Harry
said, realizing that, once again, Aran had paused and waited for him to say
something. �I think this will be harder than that.�

�� Try,� Aran
said, dropping the grimace and once again appearing as the stoic, swift man
Harry knew him as. �It is throwing off the balance of the training sessions,
and I can hardly help you if you will not cooperate with me.�

�� Harry
nodded in relief and agreement, and then slipped out of the classroom. Thank
Merlin, Spell Lexicon was his last class today, and he could go back to his
rooms�well, Ron�s rooms�and arrange things and�think.

�� He turned
the corner, and Draco was there.

�� Harry
froze. Somehow, the vision of Draco had seemed less overwhelming in the middle
of class where there were other students present. But here, he loomed like a
wall, his hands balled into fists the way he hadn�t been able to make them
during the session with Aran, his breath coming so fast that he sounded like a
snorting bull.

�� Harry
waited, but Draco said nothing. His face was so white that Harry wondered if he
had to concentrate all his attention on not fainting. His gaze never wavered
from Harry, and surely it wasn�t natural that he never blinked.

�� You can�t do anything, Harry�s
conscience taunted him. You�ve hurt him
so horribly that all you deserve is to look at him and then slink past.

�� But Harry
had developed a habit of not listening to his conscience anyway, so he said,

�I�m sorry.�

�� Draco�s
eyes were like sapphires now, and Harry had to look away, because they hurt him
so much. That seemed to be the cue for Draco to stir and say, �Sorry,� in a tone of utmost contempt.

�� Yeah, I
know it�s not worth anything,� Harry whispered, staring at the floor. �And you
don�t believe me, so it wouldn�t matter if
it was worth anything. But I wanted to say it.�

�� Draco�s
breathing grew heavier and faster, more irritated. Harry thought for the first
time that he really resembled his namesake. He wouldn�t have been surprised if
a rush of fire had come sweeping down the corridor and consumed him.

�� Sorry,� Draco said again, and his voice
stung like his eyes.

�� Yeah,�
Harry said, and couldn�t think of a single other thing to add, whether it was
hopeful or placating or whiny. He turned and walked down the corridor,
shoulders tensed against Draco trying to jump on him and tear him apart.

�� Nothing
like that happened. Harry managed to reach Ron�s rooms, let himself inside, and
start work on an essay, and there were no pounding footsteps or knocks on the
door or demands that he come outside and explain himself right the fuck now.

�� Harry
thought he might have felt better if there had been.

*

�� Since you
are behind in your training but ahead of the norm in strength,� Weston was
saying, her voice high with irritation, �we will begin another series of
exercises today.�

�� Draco stood
there with his head turned away from Harry and all his attention fixed
determinedly on Weston. He thought it was the only way he would get through
this training session with his pride intact.

�� And the
only way Harry�s bits might survive, too.

�� What�s the
exercise, ma�am?� Harry asked, when it became evident that Weston was waiting
for a response from one of them.

�� Weston
closed her eyes and murmured something that sounded like, �Merlin give me
patience.� When she looked at them again, her eyes were stern and cold, and
Draco resisted the temptation to take a step away. He wasn�t the one who caused the problem between them. �I want you,
Malfoy, to go to one side of the room, turn your back to the center, and close
your eyes. Meanwhile, Potter, you�ll try to edge around him and come up on his
side without being seen. Malfoy, I want you to be able to point to him at all
times, and don�t use your ears to figure out where he is, either.�

�� What am I
supposed to use, ma�am?� Draco was sure that his voice was as neutral and
respectful as it could be, but Weston still gave him a look as sharp as a
dagger before she stalked over to stand beside Lowell. He put his hand on her
shoulder, and she relaxed with a hiss and a small shake of her head.

�� Could we do that? Draco thought
automatically, in that way he had of measuring their power against the
instructors�, and then pulled himself up again. Of course not. With the way that Harry damaged our trust, it�ll
probably be years before we�re to the point that they both think we �should�
be.

�� You�ll use
your sense of Potter,� Weston said, and her voice was not quite a suppressed shout. �Your focus on his magic, your ability to
feel him across distances. It�s the same thing that pulls one of you to the
other�s side when you�re in danger.� Draco concealed a bitter snort. That
ability was next to useless, since it had not let him know when Harry was
casting the necromancy rituals, probably because Harry didn�t feel threatened by that particular form of Dark magic.
�Begin.�

�� Draco
shuffled towards the far side of the room, then realized what he must look like
and lifted his head and feet, walking with a more confident stride. I am going to do my best, no matter what.
Harry�s the one who ruined everything. I�ll make sure they remember that. He
planted himself on the far side of the room, staring at the stone wall and
trying to make his mind interested in the cracks that seamed it.

�� Do you
have your eyes shut?�

�� Draco shut
them, though he didn�t understand why that should matter. If he was facing
away, he couldn�t see anything, anyway. Perhaps Weston was worried about him
responding to a sudden sound and glancing over his shoulder before he could
stop himself.

�� There was a
loud scrape and a nervous clearing of a throat, and Draco pointed over his
shoulders straight at the sound.

�� Not your ears, Trainee Malfoy.� Weston
sounded as though she were trying to control her irritation for some wound that
Draco had inflicted on her personally. �With your sense of him.�

�� Can I help it if he�s so clumsy that he
causes all those sounds anyway? Draco thought, but bit his lip and stood
there, furiously silent. He was listening, of course he was, but he did try to focus inwards and think about
the compatible magic that connected them.

�� Lowell had
said that the slightest secret or miscommunication between them could cause a
barrier. Given that, Draco had no idea why they thought he would be able to
find Harry.

�� And
yet�there was something there, like a
slight sound that Draco had never taken the time to notice under a jangling
confusion of other noises. A soft thump and thrum that ran through his bones,
down and out from his body and under or above the floor to Harry�s magical
core.

�� Draco
waited until he thought he could point along the connection as well as feel it.
It was a little as though he were getting used to the feeling of a hot cauldron
against his fingers. Then he pointed.

�� Very good, Trainee Malfoy.� Weston
sounded as though whatever had crawled into her brain and died was no longer
causing such an intense stench. Draco heard her footsteps coming towards him.
It was almost hard to listen to her, when so much of his being was still
focused on his connection to Harry. �Your turn, Trainee Potter.�

�� Draco
turned around, not realizing he had his fists clenched until he saw Harry�s
eyes dart to them and then away. It was easy to lose the sense of the
connection when he wasn�t concentrating exclusively on it anymore, but that
didn�t matter. What angered Draco was that the compatible magic remained
between them, unchanged and incorruptible. No matter what Draco had said, they
were still partners�especially since Draco hadn�t had the courage to announce
his refusal to partner with Harry to any of the instructors yet.

�� They could
probably attack each other, and as long as they did it with fists instead of
trying it with curses, the compatible magic wouldn�t care.

�� Has nothing changed except for me? Does no
one but me care about what Harry does?

�� Draco
stepped back and waited while Harry shuffled into his corner and shut his eyes.
Then he began to silently stalk around to the side, thinking bitter thoughts
about Harry all the time. He was contemplating a future where they still worked
together perfectly well, and the only ones who knew about the row were him,
Harry, and Harry�s friends.

�� In a way,
that was probably for the best, since Harry would be thrown out of the Auror
program if they knew he was practicing necromancy, and Draco didn�t know what
he would do then. He couldn�t be someone else�s partner, he couldn�t be someone
else�s friend, and he would be more alone than he was now.

�� But on the
other hand, he also thought that it wasn�t fair that Harry should simply get
away with it. He should be punished. Except
not with Azkaban, or whatever the punishment would be for as much necromancy as
he�d practiced.

�� And that
increased Draco�s rage, the thoughts like that which he couldn�t control and
knew would always come and never grow harsher no matter what he did.

�� I need him. I still need him. I can�t get
away from him. The compatible magic links us, and the friendship we had before
that, and desire, and�and love.

�� Draco had
thought that his anger was strong enough to kill his love. Why not? He had
never had anyone else to trust who wasn�t family, and Harry had pretty much
ensured that he never would have
anyone who wasn�t family again.

�� But anger,
disgust, half-hatred couldn�t sever the net. Draco was as much bound to Harry
as he was bound to his father, no matter what they did to him, how much pain
they caused or wanted to cause.

�� Harry�s
hand shot over his shoulder, finger pointing straight at Draco.

�� Very good,� Weston said, sounding
approving and relieved, and that made Draco squirm with pride and further
anger. He escaped from the training session as soon as he could.

*

�� Have you
had any other visions of Nihil since that one in the mirror?�

�� Harry shook
his head and dug into the salad that Hermione had insisted he get, after
several days when he ate almost nothing for meals except biscuits and
sandwiches full of one kind of meat or another. Harry supposed the salad wasn�t
so bad, if you were a fan of the way that the lettuce crackled and crunched and
tasted like nothing in particular. �Or of Catherine Arrowshot, either,� he
added, careful to keep his voice low. Some of the other trainees might not be
corrupted by Nihil, but they all knew that name and would want to figure out
what Harry was talking about. �I don�t know, Hermione. The other vision I had
of her was strange and sudden, too. Maybe Nihil�s showing them to me to lure me
in.�

�� Hermione
stopped eating her apple to stare at him. �Well, of course that�s why you see her, Harry! You didn�t really think she
could get away from him by herself and was appearing to you because of that,
right?�

�� Harry felt
his face burn, and tried to clear his throat. That caused the horrible
crackling lettuce to get stuck, and he coughed and choked while Ron pounded him
on the back and Hermione shoved a glass of water at him.

�� Harry
wondered if he should feel hopeful or not that, while he was gulping down the
water and trying to ease the tight hold in his throat, he could feel Draco�s
eyes on him, and the anger that was probably coming with the gaze. Since Lowell
and Weston had had them practice sensing each other with compatible magic,
Harry had been able to feel Draco most of the time. Sometimes it was useful,
like when they were crossing the corridors towards each other and Harry could
avoid him, but when they were in the same room, it was simply uncomfortable.

�� I still want to apologize, but at least now
I know for certain he won�t accept it.

�� Harry took
a few deep breaths and did his very best to forget about Draco and his furious
staring and answer Hermione�s question. At least it was a distraction. �I don�t
know. She disappeared so suddenly that I thought Nihil might have captured her
or infected her against her will, and she would still be able to fight him.
After all, if she simply wanted to hand us over to him, then she could have
given Draco and me to him directly instead of sneaking us in to watch that
trainee meeting.�

�� Unless
Nihil was thinking of using her as bait in a trap even then, and wanted you to trust her.� Ron�s face was
dark.

�� Harry gave
him a patient look. �Remember when we were giving Nihil too much credit for
things, too much power, and deciding that he was practically everywhere?�

�� Ron flushed
and nodded. �Sorry, mate. But we don�t really know why Arrowshot disappeared, or why she took you there in the first
place, or what Nihil means by appearing to you.�

�� Harry
sighed and went back to eating his salad, avoiding the lettuce in favor of the
scattered carrots this time. �I know.�

�� There is a way that we can know.� Hermione
sounded mysterious, and Harry looked at her to find her sitting up very
straight, hands folded in front of her, looking from one to the other of them
as though she�d already announced her plan and expected them to oppose it.

�� Harry
waited, and waited some more. When Hermione didn�t say anything, he finally
asked, �Well, how?�

�� Hermione licked
her lips. �I was looking up information on necromancy addiction,� she said.
Harry winced, but at least she kept her voice low, so the chances that anyone
else had heard her weren�t good. �And I found something else.� She lowered her
eyes and traced her finger across the top of the table.

�� What?� Ron
leaned forwards, his face concerned. Harry knew how he felt. Something that
made Hermione nervous was something with the potential to make a lot of other
people nervous, too.

�� Well,
necromancy used to be a way of trying to tell the future by asking the dead
questions,� Hermione said. �That was its original function.� Her finger traced
a circle, and Harry wondered if that was the introduction to some obscure
ritual, but then Hermione looked up and into their eyes, and Harry suspected
she�d just been trying to nerve herself up for what was to come. �So one thing
this book suggested was using different methods to gain knowledge, which would
lessen the temptation of necromancy.�

�� I don�t
see how that applies here,� Ron said, with the bluntness Harry loved him for.
�After all, that wasn�t why Harry wanted to bring the dead back.�

�� Keep your
voice down!� Hermione hissed, looking over her shoulder as if she thought that
the massed ranks of Nihil�s spies might be standing behind them. Harry�s
attention focused briefly outwards, and he felt Draco�s magic moving slowly
closer. Harry winced and wondered what would happen if they had a confrontation
in the middle of the dining hall, but Hermione�s words destroyed that fear,
replacing it with another one. �I found a spell that can let you see into the
mind of an enemy. It�s like long-distance Legilimency.�

�� Harry
stared at her. Ron opened his mouth, but then seemed to lose his voice. So
Harry had to be the one to ask, �Why aren�t lots of people using this, then? I
mean, it seems like it would be perfect for the Aurors if they want to learn
about Nihil.�

�� Not just
anyone can use it,� Hermione said. �It requires�� She looked at Harry and
almost faltered, which meant the answer surprised him not at all. �It requires
compatible magic.�

�� Harry
clenched his fingers into the edge of the table. �So Draco and I would have to
be the ones to do it, then.� He wished he could define the tone of his own
voice. Flat, uninterested, but only on the surface. Under the surface, he was
far too interested, and already making plans about how this might allow them to
get back together in a way that meant Draco couldn�t just walk away from his
apologies.

�� Then he
winced as his conscience came to life and spat poison at him. You don�t deserve that, remember? You
deserve to suffer exactly as much as you are now.

�� Yes,�
Hermione said. She looked at Harry with pity in her eyes, and Harry had to turn
away. He could bear the venom of his conscience better than he could bear that
right now.

�� It still
doesn�t make sense,� Ron said stubbornly. �Lowell and Weston have compatible
magic. Why don�t they use this spell?�

�� I don�t
think they realized it was even there.� Hermione seemed to come to life again,
her eyes so brilliant that Harry would have found it difficult to look at her
even without the pity. �The library is so
disorganized, and I think there are books there that were never meant to
come out of the Ministry library and into the trainees�. And the magic is also
considered Dark, and so they probably believe they shouldn�t use it. I�m telling you, Harry, Ron, I�m starting to
think that Dearborn was right. Some of the magic they declare Dark is just
based on politics and has nothing to do with the morality of the magic at all.�

�� She might
have gone into a rant, but Harry knew Draco was right behind them, and he gave
a deep sigh and turned around to face him.

�� Draco had
been staring at him, but he immediately turned his eyes aside and stared at
Hermione instead. �What are you talking about, Granger?� he asked. �I know it�s
something important, just from the expression on your face, and you�re not
going to leave me out of it.�

�� Good,�
Hermione said briskly, changing tactics in a moment to lecture mode. �We need
your help to find out about Nihil.�

�� Draco
blinked for a moment, and then turned and stared bitterly at Harry. �It�s going
to have to do with compatible magic, isn�t it?� he breathed. �I knew it.�

�� Yes, it
is,� Hermione said. �And if you don�t believe anything Harry says about it,
then talk to me and Ron.�

�� Draco
turned slowly back around, using his eyes to flay Harry as he passed. But he
listened to Hermione when she began to explain about the absolutely private room
they would have to use, and the questions they would need to ask, and the
length of the incantation.

�� Harry shut
his eyes. He feels it, too. We can�t
escape each other, no matter what happens. The compatible magic, and the
emotions, tie us together.

�� That filled
Harry with clashing hopes. On the one hand, he thought he should work to make
sure that Draco could leave him behind if he wanted. He seemed so disgusted
with Harry all the time anyway that a clean break would be best.

�� Best for
him and not for Harry, of course, but Harry didn�t think he should consider his
own desires anymore. They were corrupt from the bottom up.

�� On the
other hand, a clean break seemed unrealistic. There were just too many tangled
and tumbled connections between them.

�� I don�t understand this, Harry thought,
opening his eyes to look at Draco�s face in profile again, and maybe I shouldn�t be glad of it, but I am. I�m glad that I�ll be
close to him for at least a little while longer.

��

*

�� SP777:
Harry could use the connection that way if he knew how to access or control it,
but he doesn�t yet.

�� And yes, if
Harry and Draco split apart, their power boost would vanish, but at the moment,
they�re not going to do that.

�� Dragons
Breath: Thanks! Hermione does feel closer to Draco as a result of this.

�� Harry
thinks the vision was new.

�� anciie:
Thanks!

�� Harry�s
eyes probably appeared darker because Catherine�s eyes were slowly replacing
them in the image.

�� Maybe they
could find an Auror mind-healer.

�� polka dot:
Yes. Unfortunately (at least, for him) that much trust also creates a
dependency that�s hard to break.
- 18
- 19
- 20
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Ceremonies of Strife