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The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
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Chapter Nineteen – The Ceremony

Hermione was a bit shocked at how well the Wizarding public took the news of the upcoming nuptials between the former Death Eater and the Gryffindor Golden Girl. Then again Draco had managed to snag a position on the most eligible bachelor’s lists for 1998 in the New Year issue of Witch Weekly. That was even with the less than favorable view of his name, so she could understand why there wasn’t too much of an uproar. Hermione sighed as she stared into the mirror as her Maid of Honor, Ginny, was busy fixing her hair into a classic up do with a few loose cascading curls. Her pregnancy had limited her options for a hen party and since Hermione was already married in everything way except for a public ceremony, she really didn’t have the desire to go out partying. Luna was busy dancing around the room and speaking about scorpions bursting into flames before being reborn as doves. Her other bridesmaid Fleur was busy doing her makeup and mumbling about all of the concealment charms she learned at Beauxbatons. Hermione was too busy trying to block her thoughts from projecting to Draco, as she didn’t want to ruin the surprise, to really listen to what the vivacious Veela was saying.

They had decided to have the ceremony in the vast gardens at that manor, the August weather in Wiltshire was perfect for it, and Hermione was thankful for the invention of cooling charms. She stepped into the empire styled white dress that had delicate pearl beading acceding the corset and gold trim along the split overskirt. The underskirt shone with a silvery gray reminiscent of Draco’s eyes. Fleur finished lacing up the back and tying it before she pointed her wand at Hermione’s rounded belly. A lavender beam shot from her wand and Hermione noticed her pregnancy was perfectly concealed as the blonde beauty mumbled, “There that sould do itz.”

Ginny smiled over her shoulder as she placed the Malfoy heirloom tearra that had the lace vale attached to it perfectly upon her head, “Oh Merlin, you look so gorgeous. I really think that Malfoy will resemble a mermaid out of water when he sees you.”

“I can tell that you’re happy Hermione, because your dress is full of kipples. They bring good luck on wedding days.” Luna stared at her with her usual dreamy look.

She smiled and took a deep breath calming her nerves. She only hoped that the twins didn’t kick too much during the ceremony. Before Hermione left to join her father in the hallway, Fleur grabbed her by the arm, “There iz someting I must tell you. Our children will be in the same year at ‘ogwarts.”

Hermione smiled, “You and Bill are expecting? That’s wonderful.”

The blonde nodded her head enthusiastically, “My Veela blood allowed me to know at the moment of conception. She probably won’t come until late April early May.”

Draco stood next to the silver arbor that had both yell and white climbing roses blooming all over it. It was the center piece of the wedding ceremony, as he and Hermione would both stand under it as Minister Shacklebolt would stand between them to perform the vows. They were only performing a legal ceremony, as no one knew what adding an additional bonding would do to the young couple. Draco’s longer hair, which had grown out since the bonding, was pulled back at the nape of his neck with a white leather tie. He kept an impassive mask on his face as he stood before everyone in a kilt in the traditional wedding tartan for the MacDougal clan. However, he was fortunate enough to say that the upper part of his outfit did rather resemble dress robes including the customary bow tie, if he ignored the additional air flow. He didn’t understand the need for the purse that went around his waist other than to block his bollocks from view when he sat down. His crazy mother in law had gone on about tradition and his mother had charmed his kilt to make his undergarments invisible so that he looked the part of a true Scotsman without the hygiene concerns. His mother didn’t want a faux pas to drag the Malfoy name further into the mud, whereas, Draco didn’t see the point as he was and never would be Scottish.

He stood there and concentrated fully on the bond between him and Hermione, hoping that she would let one of her walls slip allowing him a glimpse of his beautiful bride. Blaise, who was his best man, placed a hand on his shoulder to bring him out of his daze and whispered in his ear, “If you keep staring like that, the guests will wonder if you’re being forced into this marriage. You look as if you’re staring down a Death Eater in defiance and that you’re next move is bound to be one of the Unforgivables.”

He shook his head, “No, I was just trying to wipe my mind clear from that blasted stag party you threw for me last night. I understand that strippers are common at those things; however you could’ve kept my preferences in mind instead of your own. I’m really surprised that the Weasel didn’t hex you when that guy showed up. Did he really have to give me a bloody lap dance?” When his other two groomsmen started chuckling beside them, he knew that he’d spoken a louder than he thought. Harry shook his head, as if he was replaying the memory, and Theo grabbed his stomach as he rolled in peals of laughter.

Blaise just smirked, “No, Ronald didn’t hex me because he helped me pick out the stripper for your stag party. We all enjoyed watching him give you a lap dance. The look of embarrassment on your face was priceless and I’m glad that George decided to bring his camera. You can’t imagine how much Witch Weekly paid for those pictures and the story about your stag night. Everyone in Wizarding London wants to know about your wedding to the Golden Girl and any gossip that goes along with it.”

The groom ran a hand over his face, “You didn’t really send that story to them, did you?”

“We sure did. It was Hermione’s idea of revenge since you wouldn’t give up your Stag Night even though the two of you are already bonded. The three of us planned it weeks in advance and she rather thought the male stripper was brilliant. I only wish that I had thought of it and not my ferocious lion.”

“I’d rather not hear about you two playing hide the snake in the lion. I really love you man, but I don’t think I could deal with the mental images of a pasty ginger being pounded by my Italian mate. The images are ghastly and are already wreaking havoc on my psyche.”

Harry and Theo both gagged before bursting into laughter. Harry stopped for a moment, “Malfoy, you sure do know how to paint a picture that you claim you’d never think about.”

Before Draco could even respond to the jibe the garden filled with ethereal harp music symbolizing the beginning of the wedding march. Teddy was walked down the aisle by smartly dressed Andromeda, who held the pillow with the rings for the little tike. Teddy smiled and his hair shifted to each color of hair he saw as he walked toward the front. Andromeda handed the pillow with the tied rings to Blaise and then picked up Teddy before taking her designated seat right next to her baby sister.

The next to appear on the passageway was Luna in a silver bride’s maid dress with a circlet of flowers on her dirty blonde head. Fleur followed her looking just as lovely in silver and her Veela heritage seemed to shine and shock many of the guests. The maid of honor, Ginny, followed after her in a lovely gold dress that somehow managed to complement her auburn locks. He felt his heart quicken as the harp music changed and he got his first glimpse of Hermione being escorted down the garden pathway by her father, who was also wearing the traditional kilt.

His eyes swept over his beautiful bride, from the white gold diamond encrusted tiara, to the beading on the corset of her flattering dress, to the silver and gold accents that meshed with her bride’s maids dresses wonderfully. He felt his eyes water as he looked upon his wife, the mother of his future children, and the woman he’d be bonded to the rest of his life. The one who saved him from a curse of lifelong unhappiness, and he knew in that moment that he didn’t deserve a woman as wonderful as her, but he vowed to become a worthy man one day.

Minister Shacklebolt casted Sonorus to magnify his voice, “Hello everyone we are gathered here today to join this couple. In light of Hermione’s heritage a modern Muggle ceremony shall be performed and the couple has chosen to perform the bonding portion of the traditional wedding ritual in private. So, let us start by having the bride and groom speak their vows to one another.”

Draco was so nervous even though he’d practiced the vows he’d written over a month ago until he had every line memorized. Upon looking into the deep chocolate pools belonging to the woman he loved more than life itself the carefully prepared words slipped from his grasp and were replaced with a flow of sincere words spoken directly from his heart, “Hermione Jean Granger, you were never an ordinary witch and from the moment I saw you on the Hogwarts train, I knew there was something special about you. For the longest time the universe seemed hell bent on keeping us apart, be it my jealousy of you always beating me in marks, the fact that I was forced to become a Death Eater and you are one of Harry Potter’s best friends, and even the second Wizarding War. We fought on opposite sides, you valiantly and me reluctantly.”

He took her hand and gave it a squeeze, “In the end, it took a happenstance of events surrounded by a rather cheeky and untested Weasley product for everything to be set right in our world. It was in those moments that took place in the world of Jane Austen that we finally took the time to get to know the person behind the mask. In those moments that I all but bared my soul to you in hopes that you wouldn’t reject me further. I was so frightened in those beginning moments but in the end I wouldn’t change the experience for anything. I’m so happy to have you in my life and I would do anything to keep you there. You are the light that finally broke through the clouds of despair the war left me with. You’re the one that I want to hold close at night to keep the dark memories away. You are everything I need and without you I fear I wouldn’t survive for the world is harsh and it is only but you that rounds the sharp edges in my life.”

Hermione had tears slipping down her cheeks, “Draco Lucius Malfoy, you were a sad loathsome cockroach when you were younger, but the war changed you like everyone else it has touched. You played your part well and did everything to protect your family, and I’m proud to one day give you more family to protect. You were misguided, mistreated, and overall misunderstood. Everyone is so willing to look at that faded mark on your left forearm and call you a death eater without considering the circumstances. I’m glad that I finally saw past the walls, shields, and masks you’ve surrounded yourself to survive. I finally saw that innocent child who was forced to grow up way to fast. I am proud of the man you’ve become and know that you’ll be a brilliant father. For you have learned from the mistakes of your forefathers and are unlikely to commit the same travesties. Though many may have seen you as a negative force in our youth, I have to admit that the competition between the two of us motivated to excel even more. You’re one of the many reasons why I became head girl because you represented everyone that thought I’d be inept with magic simply because I came from distant squib lines.”

She hiccupped for a moment as he squeezed her hand, “I look forward to growing old with you as our children grow and have children of their own. Together we shall restore kindness, honor, and heaven forbid pride to the Malfoy line. Together with our love, our descendants shall walk in the warmth of the light and never be forced into the pits of darkness your family has finally escaped from. I love you, my heart beats for you, and our magic shall be forever bound only strengthening us further. For in the end love is the most powerful of all magic. It’s what saved Harry Potter twice, the love of a son, and it is what Dumbledore championed for during his long life. For with love comes light and hope, and with my love happiness flutters within the pit of my belly. A peaceful warmth flows over my entire being as I look into your calming eyes. In you I see everything I have dreamt for and every desire for which I thought impossible even with limitless amounts of magic.”

Draco broke eye contact for a moment and looked into the crowd where he was surprised to see hankies held to many of the attending witches eyes at the words shared between him and his bloody beautiful wife. The Minister once again spoke, “Please gather the rings in which you wish to exchange.” He nodded when each had the other’s ring in their hand.

Draco placed the ruby and white gold wedding band on Hermione’s wedding finger, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

She smiled and pushed the titanium band on his left ring finger, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

The minister announced, “You may now kiss your bride.”

Draco pulled her into a tight embrace but remained mindful of her protruding belly. Though its appearance had been concealed, the mass was still there. One hand rested on her cheek as their lips met in a ferocious tango to a standing ovation.

The reception and dinner had gone without a hitch. The guests stood around with flutes of champagne, as the bride and groom began opening their gifts. It was tradition to offer one’s thanks right away as many of the guests were from other parts of Europe including Victor Krum who was surrounded by hungry eyed witches. Hermione sat next to him opening many of the gifts and Draco enjoyed watching her tackle each one with delicate care. However his attention was distracted when a gift landed right in front of him. He looked around trying to determine who had placed it before him but no one looked suspicious in the crowd. He looked down at the tag and it stated it was from the Weasley Family. If it had said from George Weasley, he would’ve most definitely not opened it, but he knew that Molly would never allow anything harmful in a gift from the family.

He ripped open the paper and looked at the title of the book. He raised an eyebrow as he read Beauty and the Beast and dread filled his stomach only a moment before the spinning occurred. He cursed under his breath as he recognized the pull of a portkey. He was going to kill George Weasley when he got his hands him. Why the hell was he being sent within another book? Why was he being forced to go through one of these horrible stories again, and this time alone? Would he survive on his own? When all of his light had been sucked away from him in that moment?

Hermione was busy opening a shrunken gold sofa when she noticed a bright flash to her left where her husband was sitting only moments before. She looked over and noticed a book sitting on the table and screamed, “George Fabian Weasley, I am going to kick your pasty ginger arse from here all the way to Azkaban. How dare you trap my husband in another one of those vile books on my wedding night.”

The Weasley prankster bowed before her, “Well, I made some alterations and really needed to test them out. Don’t worry this story is much shorter so you won’t be trapped in there for days. Also, I managed to make it activate only when the proper person touches it. That way it will prevent unintentional tagging along. So go ahead and prepare yourself for your honeymoon. I thought you’d rather enjoy the French countryside.”

“Beauty and the Beast, you bumbling buffoon, you chose that on purpose to torture Draco. You’re expecting him to be the Beast, are you not? If this mentally scars my husband, so help me, you will wish that you were never born. I will make your life miserable and you should know not to mess with a hormonal witch.” She reached over and touched the book and soon felt the pulling sensation of being transported within the fictional world.

George smiled as he thought of all the modifications he and Fred had made to the book. He quickly casted the Sonorus to get everyone’s attention, “I have sent the newlyweds on their honeymoon. They are testing out a modified Weasley product. Now if anyone would like to watch what’s going on in the story, I have also developed a charm similar to a Muggle fellyvison.” With a few waves of his wand a giant projected image appeared above the book.

Everyone who attended the reception turned to stare at the image. Draco was answering the door of a beautiful castle to a Bellatrix doppelganger dressed in a blood covered death eater cloak. The woman asked if she could come in out of the cold and stay. His face twisted and he announced, “I would never allow the likes of you to lodge in any of my manors you vial disgusting woman.”

George chuckled, “We now see Draco’s true feelings when it comes to his dearly departed Aunt.”

The woman quickly transformed into the regal likeness of Narcissa Malfoy. Her cloak shimmering into a magnificent silver dress that set of her light blue eyes, “Your heart as black as coal and I shall make your handsome exterior match your tattered soul, as you are nothing but a vain being that cares of shallow appearances.” She pointed her wand at Draco and silver light strikes the image of Draco. He fell to the ground in pain pulling his knees to his chest, as he gasped for air.

Everyone watching the image gasped when Draco stood from the ground. His blond hair was gone and replaced with sickly gray flesh, his nose was missing but for two slits, he possessed a serpentine tongue. He resembled Voldemort except instead of the glowing red eyes of the devil, his remained the same silver.

George grunted as he felt the smack across the back of his head. He turned to see the angry blue eyes of the real Narcissa Malfoy, “How dare you send my son into a book that forced him to resemble the Dark Lord.”

He held his hands up in defense, “I had no way of knowing that his beastly appearance would resemble that mad man. He went in first and thus everyone is chaste based upon his subconscious thoughts. I would’ve thought he would’ve appeared similar to the lion like form that’s described within the book. I never considered he’d take on that ghastly form. I guess I never considered his true fears of becoming like Voldemort.”

“You better hope that this doesn’t cause harm to his already unstable mental state,” she warned pulling out her wand.

“There’s nothing we can do at this point. I still haven’t thought to put in an emergency escape charm.” He tapped his chin with this finger, “You know that’s something we should probably include in the next version of these books.” The comment got another smack across the back of his head.

A/N: Okay so I’m not really sure if this was what I expected for this chapter. I knew that this would be the opening to a sequel where we go over their time spent in that book. I also recently got the idea of the appearance that Draco would take as the beast. I have to admit that the last chapter I have to write is that of an epilogue.
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The Joke Book Trap