Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Chapter 19: A Meeting of the Minds

From deep in the void, Snape heard voices. Very far away. Now just audible. He strained to hear the words, but there was such pressure in his head as if clamped by two strong forces and his core felt stripped and raw.

Blackness.

The voices were nearer now. He could hear them as they slowly began to make sense to his throbbing brain.

"It should not have happened." An angry voice. He wasn't sure he recognised it.

What should not have happened?. Blinding instant recollection: the pain (but it was nearly gone) and the visions (foul, horrendous visions) but they were gone. Mercifully gone.

"You could not have given me all the information!" Ah yes, Mr. Weasley. What did Albus forget? Or what did he omit?

"Twelve casters and a blood parchment certainly made for a ferociously powerful curse, but the casting I used should have let us in at the break of the Thrall."

"Now, now, Bill," Dumbledore soothed. "It is broken now, isn't it? Luckily, due to your expertise, it was only for a short while."

"Professor Snape should not have had to suffer like that, even for a minute, not for one second!" Well, Weasley is really very angry. That's a revelation.

"The Mind Breaker lifted but, Headmaster, there may well be damage." Weasley's voice was soft but urgent. "What Professor Snape will have seen will be his very worst nightmares made flesh. It's nothing like a boggart, I can promise you. It's a very real, mind breaking experience. Those who have been brought back from the mind break, and Headmaster, not everyone can come back, speak of such dark and terrible things as defy belief, and these people have not been former Death Eaters."

"What sort of damage, Bill?" Lupin's voice, quiet, measured, worried. Lupin is here.

"When he wakes, he will need a mind healer to mend the break."

"He'll never agree," Lupin sighed.

"Then he'll never be well," Weasley said grimly.

"What was left out, Headmaster?" Weasley was insistent. Good for you Weasley, keep him on the hook.

There was a lengthy silence, then:

"The blood parchment was Professor Snape's own casting, used without his knowledge."

There was a gasp. Must be Weasley, Snape thought. Remus knows this.

"You should have told me, Headmaster," Weasley said firmly. "Removing a Mind Breaker from the blood giver, especially if coerced or unknowing, would have changed the casting runes. I could have prevented this. The world knows that Professor Snape was a Death Eater. It would hardly have shocked me," Weasley snapped resentfully.

It would take a lot for a Weasley to snap at Albus Dumbledore like that, Snape knew. He taught them all, and knew the father. They worshipped Dumbledore, just like Lupin does. More was said, but he felt himself drifting away from the conversation again.

"Severus, Severus? I wonder if you can hear me. Please come back." Remus.

A gentle touch to his hand, then Lupin's hand holding his. He recognised his smell. It warmed him. Lupin's head resting on his hand now. A small drop of wetness. A tear? Too painful to think about. He drifted away again.

Dry fingers, like parchment, just touching his hand, then gone. "Severus, my son, forgive a fallible old man for his grave error." Albus. Sounding sad and old. Too painful.

"Hello, Remus. Back again? There's been no change." Poppy. "You shouldn't spend all your time here. I can fetch you if there's any change."

"I want to, Poppy." Remus sounds sad. I want to talk to him. Where is my voice? Why can't I speak? Can he even tell I want to speak to him?

Movement on the bed. He was being moved. Someone sitting with him, just behind him, arms wrapped around his chest. Oh Remus. Snape's heart constricted. Lupin was still here. Had been with him since ... since when? I don't know how long I've been here.

"Come on, Severus," Lupin said gently. "I need you to hear me and come back to me."

I want to, Remus. I don't know how to.

He faded away again, hearing Lupin's voice but unable to focus on the words but deeply comforted by the sound of it.

He felt drawn back. His body felt different.

"That doesn't look like a comfortable way to sleep, Remus," Poppy.

"It's how we always sleep."

REMUS! Has he no sense of decorum?

He could feel Lupin in his bed behind him, with Snape on his chest, just like they always slept, except for the modesty-saving pyjamas. He felt that he and Lupin were both wearing pyjamas.

If that woman makes one single crack about kittens, there will be such...

"Hopefully, Severus will know and it will give him some continuity, Remus. I hope he wakes soon. We're all so worried."

Snape was moved. He wanted to tell her all was well, but he had no voice.

The light was extinguished. He saw that through his eyelids and felt Lupin get comfortable underneath him and tighten his embrace.

"Dear Severus," Lupin sighed. "I wish I knew how to bring you back." He felt Lupin stroke his hair gently and then kiss his forehead and eventually he heard Lupin's breath become deep and slow in sleep.

I love you, Remus, he thought. I want to tell you.

He drifted back to the touch of Lupin stroking his hair and face again.

"Good morning, Severus," Lupin purred in his ear. "It's the most beautiful dawn. Shall I describe it to you, how the sun's rays are just visible over the mountains..." Snape really rather liked Lupin's voice. It was so soothing, not gruff like his own voice. Unless he was the wolf, then he was gruff, oh yes indeed.

He tried to speak again. He felt so weak. He wanted to see Lupin. He wanted to look in his eyes. His head was still heavy as if weighted, and his eyelids felt heavy and dry. He concentrated very hard to try to lift his head, to look up and open his eyes, and then - he felt them flutter and he saw his mate.

"Oh Severus!" He saw those blue eyes light up and fill with tears as Lupin kissed Snape's slightly upturned face. "I'll call Poppy."

"No," Snape managed weakly. "Not yet."

Lupin hugged him and kissed his forehead, then nose, then lips lightly. "Oh Severus, I'm so happy you're back. I was so worried." He helped Snape to drink some water.

Snape found he wanted to speak no more, but just wanted to look and listen to Lupin.

"Just talk to me, Remus," he managed to croak. Lupin babbled away happily about who had been to visit him and what was happening in the school during the holiday, and Snape listened and watched him in wonder, wishing he were stronger to let him know that he loved him.

"In the summer, would you come away with me, Severus? A holiday. Nowhere hot, obviously. I'm pretty sure you'd combust on contact with bright sunshine. But, oh, there are so many places I'd like to show you. Places steeped in old magic. Marvellous places. There are extraordinary druidic places. Have you been to any?" Snape shook his head. "Avebury, Stonehenge, Tintagel, Cadr Idris? Oh, they're unbelievably powerful, Severus."

Me on holiday? Well, I just never have. The thought struck him just too odd. Too carefree.

"Oh, it's a shame you aren't a bit stronger. I could show you. I mean, you could look for yourself at my memories and my thoughts." He paused, looking at Snape. "Perhaps then you could speak to me too."

Snape smiled a small smile. Lupin was really quite clever.

"My wand..." Snape croaked.

Lupin reached to the bedside table and then pressed Snape's wand into his hand and adjusted both of them so they both lay on their sides, facing each other. He looked directly into Snape's eyes, and helped Snape to raise his wand.

Snape slid easily into Lupin's mind, and knew at once he was welcomed and loved.

"Remus." His mind voice was clear.

"Severus."

"Thank you for staying with me. I heard you."

"Why would I leave you?"

"I feared you would when the Thrall broke."

"But I've Claimed you. That was nothing to do with the Thrall."

"Thank you, Remus. I don't know what else to say."

"Tell me how you feel."

"My head is heavy and it hurts behind my eyes."

"I will tell Poppy – perhaps she can help."

"My insides feel like they've been ripped out. Where the Thrall was – I know it's gone. I feel it. It hurts. Do you feel that?"

"I did at the ritual, but not now. I'll speak to Albus.

"I heard Mr. Weasley telling off Albus."

"He was rather cross, Severus." Snape felt Lupin's good humour at this. "He was appalled that happened. Oh, Severus, you collapsed screaming in terror in front of us. Bill put you into oblivious sleep immediately, but I've never seen such terror as that. Do you want to tell me what you saw?" He felt Lupin's love and concern.

"Weasley was right. Everything horrific from my days as a Death Eater. It was brief, but it was pure terror and agony."

"Oh, Severus." A small pause. "Bill says you'll need a mind healer."

"I heard and no."

"Severus..."

"No. No-one is accessing my mind."

"Aren't I now?"

"No, I am in yours."

"Repressed alpha." He felt Lupin's humour again. Lupin was only teasing him, but he needed to know why Snape refused.

"Remus, the Dark Lord would invade my mind when it pleased him. I could Occlude my mind to keep my thoughts from him, but he could still tear and shred it if he chose to. Sometimes, he would heal it on the way out, but often he didn't."

"Severus, I'm sorry."

"No matter. But no-one will enter my mind again, not even a mind healer."

"Has Albus ever entered your mind?"

"Only once, and then with my permission."

"Bill says you'll never recover without it."

"Perhaps, he's wrong."

"Perhaps. Although perhaps curses are his area of expertise." He felt Lupin's exasperation and it warmed his heart.

"Severus?"

"Severus, I know you're still here. It is my head, after all."

"Remus. Talk to me of other things whilst I think on it. Show me our holiday, as you said."

"Thank you, Severus." Sincerity and love. This type of Legilimency was extraordinary. Snape's heart was painfully full as he felt Lupin's strong positive emotions as if they were his own.

"Let me show you this, Severus."

Snape found himself by a lake, surrounded by rugged, gorse-covered, steep rock walls – mountains all around. Although he had no physical presence here, he felt as if he and Lupin were suddenly standing together on the mountain top, shaped like a giant's arm chair. The panorama was breath-taking and rugged, the weather wild as it whipped through his hair and across his face.

"A memory?"

"I've been here once. This is Cadr Idris, Severus. It's a place of ancient druidic magic. We are here at the seat of this magic. It is where an ancient giant used to sit to watch the stars. I'd like to visit this place with you very much, Severus."

Snape saw Lupin's thoughts of himself and Lupin having sex on this very spot. It was a bloody dawn, there was a storm lashing down on them and lightning streaked past them. MindRemus was taking MindSeverus hard as the rain came down on their naked bodies and both were crying out. It was outrageously erotic to watch.

"Merlin's beard, Remus! Why are we shagging on a mountain top in an electric storm?"

"We're loving it!" Lupin thought lightly. "You know the legend. If you can stay here the night without being driven mad by the gods, you will be a poet in the morning."

"Is that madness or poetry?" Snape thought drily, looking at their mind selves writhing in the downpour.

"I think it's the poetry of knowing to take happiness when it comes to you."

"Remus, you are sex mad."

"Yes, Severus."

Snape looked again at their mind selves rutting gloriously. What a holiday that would be.

"Come with me, Severus."

Although they had no bodies, he felt as if they were hiking down the tricky landscape of the mountain side. The air had an electric tang, the smell was full and round and was... yes, a taste as well ... it was earth, nature...

"The smells are extraordinary."

"Wolf sense of smell, Severus."

"Remarkable." Snape was awed.

As they approached flatter land, still strewn with gorse and rocky outcrops, Snape saw a ruined farmhouse.

"It belongs to Albus. It's under the Fidelius charm. Watch now. You won't be able to see it reveal because no Legilimens can break the Fidelius that way, but you can step over its threshold with me."

Again, he felt as if he were moving with Lupin. He was inside the farmhouse. No longer a ruin, but sparingly furnished with rustic simplicity and many books lined all the spare walls. It was expected both of Dumbledore and of Lupin, and his own idea of heaven. From every window, great mountains rose, covered in purple heather and slashed with grey outcrops and giant trees. The weather was wild outside, but inside, it was calm and warm. Calm and warm like Lupin himself, Snape thought.

"I never knew about this place. Have you been here often?"

"Albus lets me use it when I need to. Sometimes, life has not been kind to me and I find the ancient magic here gives me solace." He felt many old sorrows of Lupin's struggle to the surface for recognition, but felt them pushed away quite firmly. "I'd like to share this place with you, Severus, if you'd come with me." He felt the warmth and affection in Lupin's mind and basked in it. It felt to Snape's mind restorative and relaxing like being bathed in sunshine or in a warm natural spring.

Their consciousness moved from room to room, and Severus and Remus appeared in each; Lupin's mind conjuring their time together here. He saw himself and Lupin sitting companionably in the small sitting room: with books, playing chess, holding each other, eating together, talking; in the kitchen: cooking together.

"I've never cooked for anyone else. I think I should like to cook for you, Remus."

They moved to the bedroom. He wasn't surprised to see Severus and Remus were having sex. But his heart leapt to see himself taking Lupin, deliciously slowly on the bed. Remus was kneeling on the bed, slightly bent forward and had braced his hands against the wall. Severus was behind him, fully sheathed with his hands on his hips, moving with incredible restraint.

"Merlin, Remus, your mind certainly flatters me!"

The Severus that he watched was lean and taut and every muscle glistened as he moved, his face was his, but more regular, less angular, and, well, handsome.

"You need your eyes checked Remus. I'm sure we don't look quite so ... magnificent." He felt something like wonder at Lupin's perception of them together.

He felt Lupin chuckle deeply. It resonated beautifully throughout his body.

"That is how I see you, Severus, and you are magnificent," he heard Lupin's thought and it was emphatic, and he felt Lupin swell with love and want. His heart swelled in turn.

He moved to stand with Severus, watching from where he stood as he pushed into Remus excruciatingly slowly, and suddenly he felt what Severus was feeling. He moaned a lowing, deep moan as he felt the hot, wet, tightness of Remus up and down his desperately hard, aching cock. He watched himself enter and push inward and then take himself out until just the very tip of his head sat at Lupin's welcoming entrance, moving the head around the opening teasingly and then moved in once more to the stretched opening up to his very root. He'd never watched it before. It was beautiful. And he heard Remus moaning, and then he heard Lupin moaning too within in his head. He was connected with Severus of Lupin's mind now and felt every bit of pleasure that he felt even as he moved away to look at Remus.

He moved so that he was standing in front of Remus, whose arms were either side of Snape. He wished desperately that he could kiss him. Remus's eyes were heavy lidded and clouded with lust, but he looked at Snape longingly, who moaned again, his body still feeling exquisite sensations of Severus that he now looked at over Remus's shoulder, that Severus still intently watching their beautiful coitus.

He heard Lupin loudly sigh. "Ahh, Severus. I wish you'd take me so I could look at you." Lupin thought wistfully.

"I never thought ..." Snape thought, haltingly as he was still feeling Severus's length working in Remus. "When I first took you, I was so afraid I would hurt you, I took you this way." He paused as more sensations washed over him.

"It's gentler. Then I had to hold your heart to keep your core ... I ... I ... you should have said," he finished feebly still revelling in the feel of this mind sex, feeling as real as it could do.

"You could tell Severus what to do..." Lupin thought, his thought voice deeper with desire.

Snape found himself back with Severus, who slowly removed himself from Remus and pulled his hips to him, manoeuvring him to turn to face him, then taking one hand to hold the back of Remus's head to kiss him passionately, his tongue searching deeply and receiving its response. Severus then gently laid Remus on his back and gently spread his legs as wide and high as he could. Remus certainly wouldn't need more preparation; his opening was still glistening invitingly. Severus settled himself on top of Remus to kiss him hard, then to kiss and suck along his neck and shoulders before bringing his face back up to into Remus's beautiful eyes as he raised himself up on one hand, canted Remus's hips, his other hand then guiding himself back into Remus's exquisitely tight muscles.

Snape moaned low again, in time with Severus. "Merlin, Remus, your arse is just incredible." He had thought this many times, but suddenly realised Lupin would hear it.

He felt that deep, throaty chuckle reverberate though his body. "Likewise, Severus."

He felt Severus start to roll into his thrusts, as Snape watched Remus's handsome face. It reacted differently than when Lupin took him. It was beautiful in is expectancy, its pure anticipation of desire to be fulfilled. He particularly watched Remus's ripe lips, issuing their moans and sighs and repeating his name in panted demands and desire. He flicked from his lips to his eyes – the blue so much darker when Remus was in lust.

"Gods, Remus, you look like the most debauched but innocent angel. How is that even possible!" Snape's thought was loud, like an ejaculation of pleasure. He could feel Severus coming to his orgasm, but more than that. He was melting into Remus's eyes. He was feeling Severus's cock throbbing with pending orgasm, his balls tight into his body, but he also felt the delicious friction Remus was feeling in his hot channel, he could feel his own cock as Remus was feeling it against his sweet spot. He felt his own hand on Remus's cock but also how Remus's cock responded to his own hand. He was sure his own body was building as well.

"Merlin, Severus, do you feel it? Me and you – can you feel it?" Lupin's mind voice growled, clearly on the point of orgasm himself.

He could barely think a "yes". His mind was fizzing as if it would explode with the different pleasures he was physically feeling as well as his mind experiencing, some his own but others distinctly and clearly belonged to Lupin.

Severus and Remus came loudly, bucking robustly against each other; and Snape and Lupin came too, their physical bodies still, bar their harsh breathing under the bedclothes, although their very real orgasms burst from them both fiercely. They lay quietly, Snape still embedded in Lupin's mind, shocked and stunned until eventually Lupin thought.

"Severus, did you know that could happen?" Snape heard the wonder in his mind voice.

"I had no idea anything so glorious could happen." Snape thought. "I'm sure some wizards must have tried it before but ... ye gods, Remus ... I had no idea ... just ... Merlin help me .. I felt what you feel as well as I what feel ... that has to be the ultimate fantasy."

"It's certainly beats any fantasy I've ever had." Lupin thought. Snape could feel Lupin's emotions even stronger than any time before. He could feel without any doubt that Lupin loved him. It was strong and clear. It made him feel stronger than he had ever felt.

"We have a magic of our own now, Severus, you and I," Lupin thought.

"I want to come to this farmhouse with you in the summer, Remus," Snape thought simply.

"Then you must be well. Will you see a mind healer so you can be with me?" Lupin asked.

Snape was silent, but he mentally breathed in all the profound emotions, recorded sights and sounds of Lupin's mind that he could, immersing himself in the man's tenderness and love and weighed them in the balance with his pride.

"To be with you, yes."

He slipped gently out of Lupin's mind and smiled at the man facing him. Lupin kissed him gently on the mouth, and took Snape's wand to put it back on the bedside table, picking up his own, he cleansed them both.
- 18
- 19
- 20
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

You Will Not Kiss Me