Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Gillyflower, Heliotrope and Hemlock.	By : Kimmimaru Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Sirius Views: 9023 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters or settings by JK Rowling. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Chapter Eighteen

Why, am I dying?

Kill, have no fear

Lie, live off lying

Hell, hell is here

I was born for dying – ‘Disposable Hero’s’ Metallica
The emptiness in his eyes terrified Harry, he turned to James who was sat on Sirius’ bed shaking him roughly. “Sirius…Padfoot…Come on, snap out of it!” His voice strained with desperation but Sirius didn’t respond. “Please, mate, don’t do this again…” James’ voice cracked and he released his friend before abruptly turning away. “I can’t lose you as well.” He whispered as he let his head fall into his hands.
“Is this…Is this what happened when they murdered his lover?” Harry asked softly.
James nodded slowly. “Yeah, he was out of it for nearly a month, we had to force feed him. He just…sat there, staring at nothing. Oh Merlin! I can’t do this alone, you prick!” James slid off of the bed and left the room, the door slammed shut behind him and Harry heard a crash as his father broke something. Harry took a deep, steadying breath before sitting down beside Sirius who hugged his knees and gazed at the wall with eyes as empty and soulless as if a Dementor had got to him.
“You know, this isn’t the end, Sirius.” Harry said softly, glancing at the door to make sure no one was listening. Gently he took Sirius’ hand in his own, it was as cold as stone and just as lifeless. “There was a time, in my own dimension, where I thought about giving up. I was sick and tired of always fighting, my mate Ron had left and we had no way to destroy the locket Horcrux. Hermione and I just drifted for a little while, going from place to place randomly, it wasn’t until I decided that I wanted to go back to Godric’s Hollow that we actually did anything. It was pretty awful. I had no idea what was happening outside of our tent, we had no connection to the outside world and for all I knew everyone I loved and cared for was dead. If it hadn’t been for Hermione I would have thrown down my wand ages ago…but…that’s what friends do, isn’t it? They help each other to get through hard times.” He sighed and ruffled up the hair on the back of his head in unconscious imitation of his father. “There’s no proof that Remus is dead, Sirius.” He said slowly, gazing down at Sirius’ hand as he clutched it in his own. “In fact there’s a good chance he’s still alive out there somewhere. I would bet my life that they won’t kill him until the next full moon. What do you say to helping me find him and rescue him? The hunt for the Horcruxes can wait. If we don’t at least try we can’t exactly call ourselves friends, can we?” He sighed heavily and it was a second before he realised that the hand in his own had tightened, Harry lifted his eyes to find himself gazing into bright silver-grey.
Sirius’ smile was grim but full of determination. “That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard in a while, Harry.” He croaked and Harry grinned happily. “You know, you’re a lot like your mother.” He continued but didn’t release Harry’s hand, slowly he inched closer until their faces were inches apart. Harry felt heat creep into his cheeks and stain them pink, he opened his mouth to speak but before he could utter a word Sirius’ lips were against his own. He took a sharp breath through his nose and felt little shock waves travel down his spine, his fingers tightened convulsively on Sirius’ as he felt fingers tangle in his messy hair. Finally, after a moment’s hesitation he began to kiss back. He was rendered helpless in the face of the kiss, Sirius’ skilled tongue did things Harry had never considered possible before. He pressed his body closer to Sirius’ eagerly, his mind shutting down so that he could wholly immerse himself in the actions of his tongue. He shivered as strong hands ran up his back and into his hair, he felt Sirius shift slightly and pull him until their chests were pressed flush against each other.
Finally, Sirius pulled away a little, his eyes heavily lidded and shining darkly beneath pitch black lashes. He smiled a little and pressed his forehead to Harry’s. “Last time it was your mother who brought me out of my depression.” He muttered and brushed an errant strand of hair from Harry’s eyes. “It seems appropriate somehow that it’s you I heard this time.” Slowly, almost reluctantly he drew away and averted his eyes. “I know what I must look like to you…” He paused and ran his shaking fingers through his hair. “I’m pretty badly broken, I know I am. I don’t find it…easy to let people into my world…I’m not…very open and I-I wish I wasn’t. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been the outcast, the one who lives on the edge of things and is only able to watch as others have fun and enjoy their lives. That is…until I met your Dad on the train to Hogwarts. It was James who forced me to see the wrongs of my family, he gave me the tools to try to fight the chains of my birth and he made me strong. Because of him I was able to finally accept my sexuality, I was able to allow people beyond my walls, walls I had been forced to erect to protect myself from my mother. I’ve always had a problem dealing with my emotions, even Brandon was never really allowed close enough to see the real me. Only James, Remus and Lily have ever seen me at my most vulnerable…well, now you have too.” He took a shaky breath and glanced at Harry out of the corner of his eye. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…is that you’re truly something else. You’ve somehow managed to get to me in a way not even James ever has and it…it’s scary.” He smiled shakily and flushed. “I sound like a girl…maybe my father was right and it would have been better if I’d been born a woman.”
“I don’t think so.” Harry said quietly, fiddling absently with a loose thread on the bed. “I like you as you are.” Once again he blushed and frowned, he wished he would stop feeling so uncomfortable when Sirius looked at him. It was worse than meeting Dumbledore’s eyes, as if Sirius was gazing right into his very heart and reading him like a book. “I-I mean…you’re alright really…” He muttered and cursed himself silently for stuttering like a drunken fool.
Sirius’ face transformed into a smile that lit up the room, he laughed loudly before pulling Harry close again. “That’s one hell of a compliment.” He chuckled and pressed his lips to Harry’s again. “Ok, let’s see if we can’t rescue Moony…” He breathed and Harry returned his smile.
When Sirius and Harry appeared down stairs James leapt up from the sagging old sofa in the living room and yanked his best friend into a tight embrace, they held each other for a long time until James reluctantly pulled away. “I thought I’d lost you again.” He muttered as Sirius pressed his forehead against his. “Merlin, don’t do that to me again you bastard.”
Sirius smiled affectionately and ruffled up James’ hair. “I promise.” He said and finally pulled himself away. “Harry here came up with the idea that we rescue Remus from the jaws of certain death. I think this plan has a certain dangerous appeal to it.”
James grinned. “I’m in.” He said immediately. “But we don’t know where they would have taken him.”
“He would be taken to the new arena in Chadwell Heath.” A soft, silky voice said from the door. Harry turned to find Snape leaning casually against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. “Of course, you do realise that it will be a suicide mission to attempt to drag your friend from the clutches of Greyback, don’t you? He won’t easily let his prey slip through his talons.”
James shrugged. “We have to try, don’t we?” He said.
“If we don’t we wouldn’t be able to call ourselves friends, let alone comrades.” Sirius agreed, standing up was giving him a headache and he was unable to completely stand straight without being in unutterable agony but at least he was able to walk. “Just because you’re a greasy little friendless slime ball doesn’t mean we should abandon Remus to an awful death.”
Snape smirked. “Of course, so, when the Dark Lord finally announces that he has destroyed the last of the resistance I will make sure to leave flowers on your graves.” He pushed himself away from the wall and sneered. “Because that will ease the minds and hearts of the oppressed, knowing that you foolishly and selfishly got yourselves murdered when you decided to act the heroes and rescue your friend. Oh yes, I’m sure you’ll be praised for a stunt like that.” He turned furious black eyes onto Harry who couldn’t help feeling the ghost of worry and guilt that seemed to echo through the past. “And of course risking the life of the savoir would go down extremely well, I’m sure his death will help everyone.”
Harry smiled. “It did in my time.” He said quietly and watched Snape raise an eyebrow.
“Clearly you are not dead, Potter…what nonsense are you talking now?”
“In my time Voldemort killed me, I went to my death when he was attacking Hogwarts. I went because it was the only way to save the lives of the students and teachers and everyone else who was fighting. I died for them, Snape. We’re not risking our lives pointlessly, we have a purpose and we can’t allow ourselves to become like the death eaters and abandon our friends and loved ones simply because the risk is too great. I couldn’t live with myself if I left Remus where he was and made no attempt to save him.” He paused and considered the Snape before him, he couldn’t help compare him to the older man from his own time. “Even you died to protect the world from Voldemort’s evil, Severus. You were murdered in my time because Voldemort made a mistake that cost him his life in the end, but you spent years working for Dumbledore as his spy within the ranks of the Death Eaters. You risked your life because Dumbledore knew your secret.”
Severus flushed an ugly pink and glared daggers at Harry who stared back at him calmly. “Shut up now or I’ll never help you again!” He hissed furiously.
“It’s ok, I won’t say anymore. I just wanted to remind you why you decided to help us in the first place.”
Snape’s face contorted for a moment he spun on the spot and stalked off. Harry shook his head and rubbed at his eyes behind his glasses before turning to see his father and Sirius eyeing him. “You know that was a very Slytherin manipulation.” Sirius said with mild amusement. “What have you got on Snape to make him help us?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t tell you.” Harry replied.
James shrugged. “Ok, let’s get down to business then. We know where Remus will have been taken, how do we get him out of there without dying?”
XXX
“Ron?” Hermione peeked around the door of the office room and saw her boyfriend fast asleep on the desk with a stack of books before him, he was snoring loudly and occasionally muttering incoherently. Hermione smiled and entered the room, she put a mug of tea down beside his head and reached out to shake him awake but before she could so much as touch him he jerked awake with an inarticulate yell. “Ronald?” Hermione said in surprise, Ron turned and peered at her blearily through his sleep mussed hair.
“Oh…Hermione…I thought…”
“That I was someone trying to kill you?” She nodded towards where his hand gripped his wand, his knuckles white from the strength of his grip. Slowly he relaxed.
“Yeah…sorry. I was having a bit of a nightmare.” He shivered and blinked away the last remenants of his dream. It had been terrible.
“What happened?” Hermione asked as she moved and perched on top of the desk, gently she ran her fingers through Ron’s hair and let him lean his head against her thigh.
“I dreamt that Harry was confronting Voldemort again.” He said quietly. “But for some reason it’s not at Hogwarts, he’s in some kind of fucked up world where Voldemort won and everything’s gone to shit.”
“I think that’s a reflection of your worry for Harry, I’m sure he’s fine.”
Ron looked up at his girlfriend doubtfully. “Would you be if you were forced to go through it all again?” he said quietly and felt Hermione’s hand still on his head. Her eyes moved away from his and she sighed.
“No…I don’t think I would be.” She admitted. “But Harry’s stronger than I am, he might not know it but he is. He’s an Auror for a reason and he has years of battle experience to fall back on. Remember he’s also very, very lucky.”
“But I worry about him. Last time was different, we had Dumbledore to guide us through most of those battles, he saved us in the Department of Mysteries in fifth year, he was there to save Harry from Barty Crouch in fourth…He was there when he dragged Harry out of that place the Philosopher’s Stone was hidden. In that world Harry’s got no one, we’re not even there to help him!”
“He’s got James, Remus and Sirius.” Hermione reminded him gently.
“Yeah but I wonder just what effect this is going to have on Harry’s mental state. What’s he going to be like when he returns? Is he going to become like Sirius and go a bit mental? Is he going to turn into some mad mass murderer? We don’t know the stress he could be under right now.”
“There’s nothing we can do but wait and hope, Ron. Even the Minister said that he wants us to remain hidden and wait things out. Hopefully Harry will return as normal as Harry ever was and we can put an end to these strange events once and for all.”
“And what if he doesn’t want to come back?” Ron whispered, voicing his deepest fear.
Hermione smiled, remembering the look the other dimensions Sirius had on his face when he looked at Harry. “Oh, I think he would be just as happy there as he would be here, don’t worry.”
- 18
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Gillyflower, Heliotrope and Hemlock.