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For The Sake Of A Name	By : Bickymonster Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female Views: 52498 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any concepts or characters associated with it. I am not making any money from this this story.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
AN: I present to you all, chapter 19, enjoy.

University is completely finished now, just waiting on grades. This does mean lots more time to be writing which I will need to do as this story is only written up to chapter 20 at the moment. Hopefully I can get a few chapters written this week.

This is un-beta-ed so do let me know if you spot mistakes.

Warnings and disclaimers apply as always.

Previously:

Snape watched her carefully, leaning back in his chair. "Truthfully, I do not; I meant what I said, I am impressed by you. You have been through a great deal and yet you have managed to find yourself a family and happiness; which is a good deal more than some people ever manage."

Draco couldn't hold in her smile, joyful tears threatening to make an appearance; she was happy with her life and didn't regret the path that had led her there, but it still made her feel overly emotional to have someone she respected so much say such things.

"Thank you, Sir." She told him, and she was glad when he didn't comment on the tears she wiped away with her sleeve.

-#-

Harry supposed that he shouldn't have been as surprised as he was that Draco was throwing herself into exam revision with a fervour to match Hermione's; their rooms were now permanently littered with various texts and notes.

"I really wish you could at least not leave these books and pieces of parchment on the floor, Love; I am constantly worried you are going to slip on them." Harry told Draco for the third time in two days.

"Sorry." Draco apologised; though Harry didn't really buy it as she was clearly distracted.

She was sat on the floor and didn't even look up; he wasn't even sure she was really aware of his presence in the room as she continued to shuffle through the piles of parchment all around her.

"You are going to run yourself into the ground, Draco." Harry chastised lightly, running a hand over her hair affectionately. "You are eight months pregnant."

"Funnily enough, Harry, I had actually noticed that." Draco told him, indicating her now very large and obvious pregnancy. "And I am fine, I am just sitting and reading; though, my back IS starting to hurt a little."

Harry tutted fondly and helped Draco to her feet, holding her arm tightly as she stepped out of the ring of books and papers. She took a seat on the sofa, smiling when Harry passed her the book she had been reading, before she had a chance to ask him.

"This little one better decide to come out before the exams; I am not sure I would even be able to reach the desk over this bump." Draco grumbled, running a single hand over her belly.

"I don't think you need to worry about that, Love; he would have to be nearly a month late for that to happen... which is very unlikely." Harry assured her; fetching his charms book before taking a seat next to her on the sofa.

Draco lay down, swinging her feet up to rest on Harry's lap, her head on the arm rest; book propped up on her chest to keep reading.

"Yes, but you are forgetting that this is your son, therefore the unlikely is practically inevitable." Draco reminded him, as she flicked through the book, looking for the page she had read up to. "And it isn't as if nothing unlikely happens to me; I think our current situation is evidence enough of that."

"Okay, you might have a point," Harry conceded with a small shrug, "but I honestly don't think our little boy is going to wait that long to make an appearance."

"You better hope you're right, otherwise there will be all hell to pay." Draco said, lowering her book just long enough to glare at her husband.

They both looked up as there was a knocking at the door.

"Who is it?" Harry called out.

"It's me." Ron's voice replied, "Please let me in. Hermione is driving me crazy."

Harry and Draco smirked at each other in amusement as Harry got up to open the door.

"Thank you." Ron said with obvious relief, as he stepped into the room. "It is as if all the nagging she usually reserves for you has been redirected to me, so now I am getting a double dose." Ron paused and looked around. "What happened here? Did you murder a library?"

Harry laughed, "THIS..." he waved a hand at the papers and books all over the room, "...is all thanks to Draco's studying."

"Blimey; I might have been safer staying with Hermione." Ron mumbled.

"I heard that." Draco growled, throwing an annoyed look at him.

"Woah... easy with the death stare." Ron teased. "Remind me why you married someone so deadly again, Harry."

"Didn't you hear, Harry likes me for who I am; I can only figure he is some kind of masochist." Draco told him with a casual shrug.

Harry gently swotted at Draco's leg as he took his seat on the sofa again. "I'm the masochist...? Look around the room, Draco; look at the studying you are inflicting on yourself."

"Hey, it isn't completely my fault; normally I can focus on one thing and am really organised; but with the pregnancy and hormones, my brain wanders too easily."

"I was teasing, Love, you don't have to explain to anyone." Harry told her, moving her feet back into his lap. "Have a seat." He instructed Ron, indicating the chair that had the fewest papers on.

Ron moved the papers in a neat pile onto the floor next to the chair, casting a glance at Draco to make sure he wasn't going to get yelled at for it. She rolled her eyes and gave a small nod of her head in consent, so Ron dropped himself into the now clear chair.

"How are you doing, Draco? I swear you look bigger every day."

"Thanks for that Ron." Draco said with a scowl, arms protectively around her extended belly. "And Yes, I am just fine; I think it mostly just looks so ridiculously huge because I am so little."

“I was saying to Draco, just before you arrived, Ron,” Harry told him, “that I am sure it will not be long now till our son makes an appearance.”

“Then he can keep you awake at all hours of the night, as well as me.” Draco laughed evilly. “On the plus side, at least I will be able to see my feet again.”

-#-

Harry helped Draco into her seat at the Gryffindor table for breakfast, sitting opposite Hermione, who had her head in a Charms book.

“You could at least stop studying during meals, Hermione.” Harry suggested.

Hermione looked up with an expression of shock, “But if I don’t get high enough marks in my OWLs I can’t even sit the NEWTS I need; and then I will end up stuck doing some job I don’t want to do and then...”

“Okay, okay.” Harry interrupted, holding up his hands in surrender, “I get it, carry on.”

Hermione huffed but returned to her book, absently feeding herself the occasional bite of toast; only stopping and looking up again when a post owl dropped a letter in front of Draco.

Harry could easily see how much his wife's slender pale fingers were shaking as she picked up the thick high quality looking parchment and stared at the elegant scrawl on the front which read 'Draco Potter'. For a moment Harry found himself wondering why Draco had written a letter to herself, the writing was so similar to hers, but there were subtle differences.

"It's from my mother." Draco practically whispered.

Harry had the letter out of her hand and was casting detective spells before anyone else could react.

"The Hogwarts wards wouldn't have let a letter with any hexes or curses put upon it through the wards." Hermione said with exasperation. "It is in..."

"... Hogwarts: a history." Harry and Ron finished for her; grinning as they spoke in sync with each other.

Draco snatched the letter back out of Harry's hands and continued to stare at it in contemplation.

"What's going on?" Blaise asked, as he slid into a chair next to Ron.

"Letter from her mother." Ron explained quickly.

"Really?" Blaise said, sounding genuinely surprised and curious. "What does it say?"

"No idea." Draco said, sounding surprisingly calm and Harry thought she was probably using 'Malfoy mask'; he quickly decided he didn't like it.

"Draco, Love; you don't have to read it... ever; and certainly not right now." Harry said, placing a hand on her back.

"I don't need you to patronise me, Harry." She snapped, pushing his hand away, "I am perfectly aware I can read it when I damned well feel like it; I am your wife not a small child." Draco climbed out of her seat quickly, letter in hand and stormed from the hall; leaving her very stunned group of friends and a rather hurt feeling husband behind.

"I really hate that stupid Malfoy mask Lucius taught her." Harry mumbled quietly, stabbing one of the sausages on his plate with his fork.

"Me too." Blaise said sadly, staring out the door as if still debating running after his friend.

Harry looked up, "Should I follow her?" he asked Blaise. "I kind of feel she might not take well to my presence right now."

"No, give her some time." Blaise suggested, finally tearing his eyes from the door to the great hall long enough to serve himself food.

"She didn't mean it, Harry." Hermione tried to console her upset friend

"Don't be stupid, Hermione." Ron scolded, "Of course she meant it; I just bet she didn't mean to say it in the way she did. She will probably read the letter, cry a bit, feel really bad for yelling at you for trying to be supportive and then come and apologise."

"Thanks, Ron..." Harry said, managing a small smile, "Surprisingly that actually helps; no offence, Hermione but I think Ron is right on this one."

Hermione nodded, staring at Ron as if she had never seen him before, "None taken, Harry; I happen to agree with you. That was... insightful, Ron."

"Err... thanks." He said, looking quiet uncomfortable with the others all staring at him and so turned his attention to the important mission of consuming his breakfast.

-#-

Draco was silently crying by the time she had gotten through the doors of the great hall, and she was holding the letter from her mother so tightly it was becoming crumpled in her hand. She didn't really know where to go. Several other students were giving her odd looks but wisely said nothing, she pushed past them mostly so she didn't have to look at the pity on their faces.

She was reluctant to go back to her room just in case Harry was stupid enough to follow her; she really didn't want to say anything she would regret which she was sure she would if he tried to talk to her at the moment. She was already feeling bad about having yelled at him but sometimes his need for her to be calm and happy all the time was a little grating. She would apologise later but for now she was going to let him stew for a bit, it wouldn't do him any harm and right now she had other priorities.

She stopped and glared at the letter in her hand before realised that she had subconsciously walked towards their rooms anyway, whilst she had been mentally distracted. She sighed and carried on walking; she did need somewhere private and at least this way she could climb into her big bed and be comfortable while she almost certainly cried at whatever the letter contained.

She wasn't even convinced it would be word from her mother yet; Draco knew full well it wouldn't be beyond her father to use her to make Draco read a letter full of whatever horrible things he wanted to say. Even if it truly was from her mother, Draco was sure that the words would hurt her heart deeply; no matter whether they were of kindness and love, or those of anger and hatred.

She pushed open the door to their rooms, it was strange how still they felt as if they were waiting to see what the letter held as much as she was. It was peaceful but the heavy kind that you find at the eye of the storm, that promises of future chaos. She shook her head, things were better now, better than she had hoped they could be and that wasn't something that could be taken from her; not easily anyway.

Draco steeled herself; she had gotten so used to running to Harry, hiding behind him but she wanted to do this herself, she needed to do this herself; she just wished she could stay strong without resorting to the lessons her father had taught her, that she didn't have to act like the Malfoy she used to be to get through this.

She made her way across their living room taking special care not to stand on any of the papers or books; not wanting to damage them, or else slip and damage herself or the baby. Their bedroom door was open and she managed a half smile at the sight of Harry's pyjama trousers in the middle of the floor; he really was such a lazy person sometimes, how hard was it to put them under his pillow or at least on the bed.

Draco climbed onto the bed, which wasn't nearly as easy as she would have liked, due to her pregnancy; she sat with her back to the headboard, the thick fluffy duvet over her shoulders and pulled tight around her. It wasn't as reassuring as she had hoped but at least it was private and warm, it helped knowing that no matter how bad or hard this was going to be, she would be able to just sit there and Harry would find her before too long.

She held the letter out in front of her, at eye level, as if to try to stare it down, trying to work out how to stay strong and hating that all that came to her were the lessons her father had yelled at her.

'Don't show weakness, Malfoys are never weak.'

"I'm not a Malfoy anymore." She said aloud to herself. "I'm a Potter."

She chuckled somewhat self deprecatingly to herself when she realised her mistake, she didn't have to stay strong; there was no-one who was expecting that of her; none of the people who mattered to her now would think less of her for feeling, or even showing, the emotions the letter was about to cause. She could read it and then cry and scream and react however she liked and Harry would still be there to hold her and love her just the same.

With shaky hands, and almost overwhelming anxiety, Draco slid a single digit under the Malfoy seal that held the letter closed and opened it carefully. The page was filled with her mother's writing and Draco was surprised how comforting it was to see; it was so similar to her own, except the slightly lighter touch of the quill she used and the way she looped her g's and y's.

'My Darling Draco,

First and foremost I miss you; you are still my child and it cuts me deeply how your father has torn us apart. Part of me wishes I could chose you over him but, for reasons I cannot tell you completely yet, I am unable to do so; in time I hope you will understand and forgive me this. Your father is desperate; he loves this family and feels he is doing what he must to protect it ; I beg that you try to understand.

That said, I must caution you. He has not given up on taking your son from you and, from what I have overheard and been led to believe, your father has purchased considerable interests in those who will be residing over the inspection visits the committee ordered. Do not allow them any chance to accuse you of caring for the child improperly and I strongly encourage you to make use of the influence, that those in power around you have, to ensure you are treated fairly.

In the mean time I have taken all the action I can to help turn his attentions from you and your unborn child, and I believe news I will give him soon will help on that front, but for now I urge you to act with caution and wish you all the best for the upcoming birth. You will be a wonderful mother, I am sure. Trust yourself.

I do not know if or when I will be able to write again; I already have taken great risk in writing this for I am sure your father would view it as terrible betrayal. Do not respond, for he is most certainly intercepting any post intended for me.

All my Love,

Mother.'

Draco was shaking uncontrollably by the time she had read through the letter once, her face covered in watery trails as she sobbed; by the time she had read it a second time she was barely able to make out the words through her tears, her breathing difficult as she cried.

She felt so conflicted, like her already strained emotions were being pulled in opposite directions. She hadn't realised how hurt she was that her mother had chosen Lucius over her; she hadn't even realised that she had until she read the words. And that her mother was still referring to Lucius as her father was infuriating and felt as though Narcissa Malfoy was belittling the actions of her husband to some petty spat.

But there were words of warning, support and love there too, and those made Draco's heart sing and ache all at once, that Lucius had tried, and to a great extent managed, to take that from her; that he had robbed her of the parent who had managed to love her unconditionally, even after the accident.

Draco felt tired; she knew she should get up and go to the lessons which she was no doubt already late for, but she wasn't sure she had the energy, even if she wanted to. Draco pulled the duvet tighter around herself and lay down properly, the letter clutched against her chest as her crying started to ease. She would just sleep for a while, maybe everything would hurt less after a nap; she was glad that no-one had seen her break down but her last thoughts before she fell were of the hope that Harry would be there when she woke.

-#-

"Okay, this is madness; am I allowed to go look for my wife now?" Harry mumbled quietly in Blaise's ear as they entered the great hall for lunch and saw that she was absent from there as well as from the morning's lessons. "I am getting really worried."

"Yeah, you probably should go check on her." Blaise conceded, but grabbed hold of Harry's arm quickly as he turned to leave. "If she wasn't heavily pregnant I would be advising you to give her longer, but I am worried too."

"Yeah, I know." Harry assured him, "I have gotten perhaps far too used to her being open with me about everything and knowing where she is all the time." he added sadly.

"Harry, don't..." Blaise said with a shake of his head, "...it is great how much you have gotten her to open up but just try to be patient with her when she doesn't, she has spent a long time being told to hide her emotions. You are a good husband to her, but this was bound to happen eventually." Blaise released his arm and instead placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, "Now, go make sure she is okay. Oh and send me an owl or something once you have found her."

Harry chuckled, "Will do. Tell Ron and Hermione where I am, would you?"

Blaise gave him a curt nod as Harry turned and headed off at a slow jog towards his and Draco's rooms; he wasn't certain where his wife had gone but he figured it was the most likely option. He was fairly sure she would not have been reckless enough to leave the castle but couldn't help the unsettled feeling in his gut that he knew wouldn't go away until he was sure she was safe.

-#-

Harry leaned on the doorframe watching his wife sleeping, just the top of her blonde hair visible over the covers; he hadn't realised quite how agitated he had been feeling all morning until he no longer did. How he had ever hated the sight of that white blonde completely escaped him now. He went back into their living area and scribbled a quick note to Blaise informing him that he had found her, that she was asleep and that he would be staying with her till she woke.

"Take this to Blaise." Harry told Hedwig, "Try to get to him before lunch is over, I don't think McGonagall would be very happy if you interrupted her lesson."

The owl nipped him lightly, which he took to be her understanding, and she took off out the door he had opened for her, to deliver the note. Happy that Blaise wouldn't get worried and come looking for them any time soon he headed back into the bedroom.

He sat down very carefully on the edge of the bed, close to where Draco's head lay; it never failed to surprise him how small and innocent she looked in sleep. She had the letter loosely held in a half clenched fist, her other hand gently on the swell of her stomach; he carefully brushed her hair away from her face, smiling at her soft breathing.

She shifted and mumbled in her sleep, her head turning and he was able to see the dried tear tracks on the pale skin; he glared at the letter in her hand that presumably was the reason for having cried. Her grip on it was loose and so he removed it from her hand, it was covered in the same handwriting that he had seen on the outside of the letter at breakfast. He skimmed the letter, hoping that his wife wouldn't slaughter him for it later. Narcissa Malfoy seemed to be hinting at something that was going with her and it was disturbing to read that Lucius was so actively still working to steal their child from them. He sighed and moved to place the letter on the bedside table.

"Harry." Draco mumbled sleepily.

"Hey, Love; I didn't mean to wake you."

Harry turned to see half open grey eyes looking up at him sleepily, "I am glad you're here." she told him, managing a gentle smile.

"Are you really?" Harry asked, "I wanted to give you space but...."

"I mean it, I am sorry I yelled at you this morning; I really am glad you're here." Draco told him earnestly.

"Yeah, well just don't make a habit of it." He teased with a wink.

"I couldn't help it; I was struggling to restrain myself." Draco tried to explain.

"Yeah, so you put up that mask and ran away from me." Harry pointed out with a frown.

"I know, I know." Draco rubbed her eyes and sat up a bit, curling into Harry's side. "It was how I was raised; stay strong, don't show weakness, and such. I realised something though, when I came here to read the letter..."

"What's that?" Harry asked, genuinely curious.

"That that is the Malfoy way," Draco told him, "And I am not a Malfoy anymore; it is okay for me to not to keep my emotions hidden all the time, to not put on a show for the world."

"I am glad to hear that, I don't like that Malfoy mask you put on your face this morning." Harry said, "You are a Potter, we share what we are feeling." He kissed the top of her head, "Especially with our spouses."

Draco chuckled, "Well I can't promise I won't ever react like that again, but I am trying, I don't want to hide from you. The rest of the world maybe, but not you."

"That is all I ask, Love." He said, kissing her temple and wrapping his arms around her. "That's all I can ask."

"I love you." Draco whispered.

"Pretty damned fond of you too." Harry said, grinning when it earned him an amused smile from the petite girl he loved so very much. "Want to talk about the letter?" he asked.

"Not in the slightest." Draco said decisively, snuggling closer into Harry's side.

By popular demand I have created an email group, where I send an email notifying people on the list when I update any of my stories. If you wish to receive these trial email notifications then please let me know in a review, leaving me your email address.

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Please do take a moment to review and give me your thoughts, it would mean the world to me. (As always I will happily respond to any and all review posted when I post the next chapter, like I have below)

Review responses:

Delia Cerrano - Glad you feel bad for Pansy, I do too; she's very messed up but she did care for Draco in her own way. I am sure that her family will find her something but indeed her situation is less than ideal from her and it is starting to sink in that she isn't going to be able to have the life she had always believed she was entitled to.

Luminari_Lilium - Lucius is definitely not perfect father material. The Slytherins are starting to realise that Draco is still the person that they shouldn't mess with.

Nari-Chan - Thank you for the correction, that was a pretty silly on. I am glad people are feeling bad for Pansy, she has lost a lot, BUT she is still a nasty piece of work at times. Ginny isn't very good at letting go (just like Pansy) you are kind of right about drawing the comparison between them.

MakeupDiva84 - I assume you are talking about the chapter where Draco passes out and they go to the medical wing; they are just pretending they didn't know so that the others in the room won't know that they already knew. I know this is apparently a bit confusing as a few other people have asked about this too, I might add a note to the chapter. If this doesn't clear it up for you, let me know and I will try again. Also glad to hear you like the story. I should say that there is no way for Draco to become male again, Snape has been trying to find a way but with no success. Even if there was Draco knows that Harry is straight and now that she loves him so much she might not even want to change back even if she could, knowing it would cost her the family she has built.

Gruffard - Yeah we are getting the true Draco back now she isn't cowering behind Harry. Pansy is definitely nervous because she assumed she would never have to woo herself a husband and now she just might, and doesn't really have a clue what to do about it. I have names etc. for all the children they will have already, the children are actually one of the most planned out parts of the story at the moment.

LeaniaSTL - Glad you are liking it and that I am managing to get a balance.
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For The Sake Of A Name