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In Their Hands Complete	By : Desert_Sea Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 19649 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters/things/places created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money from my fan-fiction.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
A/N: Oracle17 – Sorry about the unreasonably quick updates ;) I feel the end is nigh. I loved your ‘I Love Lucy’ analogy by the way – could totally visualise it. Luna is otherworldly, she has some amazing skills and I am confident that you occasionally meet her in real life. ‘And his "close is relative" line was VERY interesting.’ – there’s that word again ;). Hmmm, perhaps more will be revealed this chapter. ‘Obviously meant a great deal to her that Hermione would say something supportive in her favor.’ – yes I liked this moment between them, brief but meaningful. ‘"Do you need me to appreciate you?"’ – I really enjoyed your multiple interpretations of this. I’m not sure that I was consciously aware of all of them. ‘That's an interesting question. I think I need to think about it longer.’ – I’d be interested in your thoughts because it is still a question in my mind. ‘I loved the claw’ – I kind of like how barbaric it sounds but how much enjoyment she gets from it, a bit of a continuation of the theme. “Don't post anything in the meantime :)” – I didn’t ;)

Oracle18 – ‘I thought the claw was a bit impersonal after the intimacy of their last "session"’ – I agree, so I felt this conversation was important, otherwise the gaps would start widening again. Their relationship is still at that tenuous stage. ‘And then Snape tries to play off his attraction as mere lust.’ – Although we discover that Lynch seems to care about her being sure of her options, perhaps Snape is also worried about drawing her in when he doesn’t feel he deserves her. ‘I'm perplexed by Lynch's offer. Does he not know Hermione at all?’ – It does seem strange doesn’t it? Perhaps we will find out more in this chapter ;). ‘Private pervert’ – Hahahah.’ I definitely would have checked the other pocket’ – I know you would, and no doubt added a few things to it ;). ‘I love Hermione's newfound love of proctology’ – who would have thought? I quite enjoyed her clinical approach. ‘Made me want to find a willing prostate to accost’ – any success? ‘Fuck me Merlin, it's cold out here’ – you could certainly say that to the snowman. ‘I didn't really come up with wank bank’ – It’s yours!!

Chea – Lovely to hear from you. I’m glad you’re enjoying the powerful, if somewhat damaged, Snape. Interesting that you’ve had a few inklings about Lynch. You might enjoy this chapter. Thanks for the thumbs up about the flow and smut/plot balance.

Chapter 19 – Bare Hands

Hermione sat with Shaun on the river bank, watching in silence as the grey waters slid by. He’d been very quiet throughout their walk in the forest. Hermione had pointed out occasional unusual fungi and animals hiding along the forest trail but she was also content to let the silence be.

“Lucky you’re being paid,” Shaun said, rubbing his chin against his knee as he squinted into the distance.

In Hermione's experience, it was quite common for patients to suggest that any perceived kindness on the part of their therapist was financially driven. It wasn’t totally without basis, their relationship held the paradox of both intimacy and service provision, but Hermione suspected that he was trying to push her away. It wasn’t a bad sign as it meant that he felt some connection to her presence.

“Do you remember how you were scheduled to see Mr Lynch this morning?” she asked.

He paused before giving a small nod.

“I asked to spend this time with you instead.”

He snorted mirthlessly. “You make me sound irresistible. What is it? My sparkling personality and witty repartee?”

Hermione didn’t answer. He would be tuned in to anything that sounded remotely placating or disingenuous. The truth was that she was there to help him. But they didn’t have a relationship beyond that and it would be unhelpful to pretend otherwise, as any evidence to the contrary would just consolidate his feelings of worthlessness. Instead she redirected his focus.

“What were you thinking about?”

He rocked almost imperceptibly as he stared across the water.

Self-comforting.

“I was thinking that if I jumped into the river, you would never be able to find me.”

Hermione considered his words. “And why would that be?”

“Because there would be no sound. Ripples wouldn’t take the time to rise for me. And I wouldn’t want them to. I would want to disappear without a trace.”

Hermione felt the weight of sadness in her chest but was careful not to react. Clearly, he felt that his impact upon the world had been so devastating that he now wanted to have no impact at all. He wasn’t even worthy of the world accommodating his presence.

Leaning forward, she picked up a small stone from the ground and held it out to him.

“Throw this in the river.”

He looked at it for a moment before taking it from her fingers and flicking it, with a whip of his skinny arm, into the water. It made a small splash.

“Shaun, you are going to continue to influence the world around you whether you like it or not. It might be direct or it might be indirect, and sometimes you’ll never know what impact you have. But what you need to realise is that removing yourself from the world will have a seriously negative impact on a lot of people, including myself. You now have an opportunity to choose to influence the world positively, to have a constructive impact on the things and people around you.”

She looked at him hard, even though he hadn’t yet looked at her.

“And you can start with my hand because it's fucking cold and I can’t seem to get it warm.”

She held her out her cold, pale hand to him. He tentatively took it between both of his thin hands and rubbed vigorously.

“You’ll have to do a lot better than that. It’s freezing.”

The corner of his mouth lifted as he put in more effort. He was puffing by the time she informed him that she could now feel it.

“I want you to store this away. This is evidence of your positive impact. See my hand? It’s now pink, it’s warm, I can feel it. You are going to keep adding to this. Okay?”

His chest rose and fell with the deep tide of emotions that were flowing through him, but finally he nodded.

“There’s something else I want you to do.” Hermione rose from the bank and extended her hand to help him up. “When we get back, I want you to sign a contract with me. I want you to promise that if you ever consider harming yourself again, you will come and talk to me first. I take these sorts of contracts extremely seriously and I want you to as well. Will you sign it?”

He looked apprehensive but gave another brief nod. “Yes.”

***

The trees surrounding The Bath were almost completely bare and the leaves that littered the ground had turned mushy with the recent rain. George was already sitting on one of the benches when Hermione arrived.

She could tell before she even sat down that he was still in a very un-George-like mood.

“Hey there.” Hermione slapped him lightly on the thigh in what had come, over their time together, to mean light-hearted affection.

“Hey you,” George nodded at her with a grim smile.

“What’s the happs?”

“Not a lot. You?”

“Not a jot.”

It was a silly little greeting they often engaged in, usually when there was something difficult to discuss.

“How are things going with Luna?”

She instantly regretted the words, remembering how he’d responded when Lynch had broached the subject. But this time it was met with a wearily raised eyebrow.

“She still has a lot of healing to go through, both mentally and physically. We keep the innuendos flying just to make people wonder, but the truth is that we have to be very careful. We’re both more than aware of how serious her injuries were—I couldn’t cope with setting back her progress.”

Hermione inwardly berated herself. She had been so caught up in her own sexual dalliances that she had ridiculously assumed that George and Luna were engaging in the same. She should have known that their conversations were full of bravado, most likely to help Luna feel normal and wanted. She felt like a self-centred idiot.

“And, the reality is that she’ll be leaving in a couple of weeks and I don’t want to set up a situation where she feels rejected, or any sense of loss, not after what she’s been through.”

Again, Hermione reflected upon her own actions with Snape and how short-sighted they now seemed. Fuck.

“She’s truly remarkable. You both are,” she said, regarding him with genuine affection.

George snorted dispassionately and shook his head. There was something else troubling him.

“I spent some time with Shaun this morning.” Hermione wondered if this might be the source of his discontent. “Have you managed to see him yet?”

“Not yet.” George crossed his arms and looked out at the bird bath which was full of leaves.

“What is it, George?”

He sighed heavily. Hermione had never seen him so troubled.

“Have you ever wondered why people so desperate to live, die and why people so desperate to die, live?” he asked, his voice strangely distant.

Hermione inhaled deeply and gazed up at the ashen sky.

“Percy told us that Fred desperately tried to cling on to life. After the explosion. He didn’t die straight away. He was so badly hurt but he fought, ‘Mione. You know how much he loved life. More than anyone I’ve ever known.”

The tears started to flow for both of them.

“Is that what you meant by closeness being relative?” Hermione's voice wavered, as she placed her hand over his.

“He was my twin, ‘Mione.” George drew in a shuddering breath. “We were like the same person; twice over. It’s like losing a part of myself. I just . . . this thing with Shaun. I know it’s wrong. I just can’t stop thinking about what it would have done to Luna, to everyone, if Snape hadn’t been there. And trying to reconcile the soul that wishes to leave with the one that wishes to stay. Both don’t get what they want and both are tragic.”

Hermione squeezed his hand even more tightly as the tears continued to flow. There was nothing she could say.

***

Hermione knew it wasn’t a good time to confront Lynch. Not straight after her conversation with George. But her discussions with Severus had been on a constant loop in her mind and she needed it to stop, to seek some sort of resolution, no matter how uncomfortable it was.

Knocking on his office door, she turned the handle and opened it. “Lynch?”

There was no answer but she noticed that his bedroom door was ajar. She’d never had a reason to go in there in the entire time she’d been at the Retreat but wondered now if he might be in there, or in the bathroom.

“Lynch?” She pushed the bedroom door open. It was empty. And she could see enough of the bathroom to know he wasn’t there either.

Turning to go, her attention was drawn to a row of pictures on his bookshelf. The closest one was the photo that had arrived on his birthday. His wife, blowing kisses and waving. She was a very beautiful woman. Hermione wondered why she hardly ever visited and why Lynch seemed so willing to jeopardise their relationship. It didn’t make a lot of sense.

Then she examined the other photographs beside the first. There was one with a woman crouching beside a little girl. The girl had almost white hair and her blue eyes were as striking as Lynch’s. She was laughing and jumping up and down with a balloon around her wrist. And the woman . . . Hermione blinked. Picking up the photo, she peered closer at it. Then she picked up the picture of the woman blowing kisses and waving. They were so similar. In fact, Hermione could swear they were the same person. But that was impossible. Wasn’t she . . .

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

Hermione spun around to see Lynch standing in the doorway. He didn't look angry but she was instantly on edge. Normally she would have returned the photographs with a quick apology, but she was still upset at what Snape had disclosed and starting to feel progressively more uneasy. She needed to know what was going on.

“Is this the same woman?” She eyed him warily as she turned the photographs toward him.

He sighed heavily and crossed his arms, the muscles bulging under his shirt.

“In some ways.”

Hermione’s heart was thudding in her ears.

“I want to know what’s going on.” Her voice was low and even, despite her rising panic.

Lynch took a step forward, his blue eyes piercing her so intently that she felt her skin starting to prickle.

“Hermione, I’ve never told anyone. And if I tell you, it's going to change the way you feel about me.” His sing-song lilt, that had always been somewhat amusing, now seemed to mock her with its unnatural levity.

Hermione was breathing through her mouth. Should she just get out of there? Get away before she heard something that she couldn’t un-hear?

But she wasn’t a Gryffindor for nothing. Bravery was in her blood and she stood her ground.

“Tell me.”

His body seemed iron-clad in its rigidity, as if every single muscle was on high alert.

“Do you want to sit down?”

“No.”

He licked his bottom lip in nervous discomfort. “As you know, my wife and daughter were killed in the war. That’s them in the picture.” He nodded toward the photograph in Hermione’s hand. “I never married again.”

“So who is this?” Hermione held up the other photograph. “This arrived on your birthday. I saw you open it. I recognise her, she’s been to the Retreat.”

“She’s . . . a friend.”

“A friend who happens to look identical to your wife.”

Lynch sighed and stared at the ground, frowning deeply.

“She’s a friend who I pay to Polyjuice every now and again because I’m a sad old fuck and could never bear to let the love of my life go.”

As though in slow motion, Hermione slid the photographs back onto the shelf before putting a trembling hand to her lips. Gods!

His eyes were glassy as his gaze returned to her. “It’s sick, I know. But the occasional visit, a letter, a photograph, and I could almost pretend she was still here, just separated from me by distance, not death.”

Hermione was so shocked, she could only stare at him.

“I know Snape told you about our discussions. I’m sorry Hermione, I don’t really know how to tell you this. I always thought, if you ever wanted me, you would be the one person who could help me to move on. To let her go.”

Oh Fuck.
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In Their Hands *Complete*

In Their Hands Complete