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Irreversible	By : Drarry-Lisa Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 3064 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters/things/places created by J.K. Rowling. I make no money from my fan-fiction.

Chapter List
- 18
- 19
- 20
Chapter-19
Demons
Ten minutes have passed since Draco stopped typing and Draco is staring unseeingly at the black screen as if it holds the secrets of the world. His fingers are trembling and there is a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to stand in the Wizengamot again. He doesn't want to face Judge Andromeda Tonks. She has always abhorred him and his entire family. On the top of everything, he doesn't want to remember.
"Bloody fuck." he murmurs and closes his eyes as the images of his so called trial dances in front of his eyes.
Harry harry harry harry harry
"Draco"
Harry Harry Harry Harry. He remembers his pained cries. Harry's name was the only word he was allowed to speak and so he did.
"Draco."
"Harry Harry Harry Harry." He remembers everything... the helplessness... the desperation... the sheer terror and his sound-less pleas.
"Shit. Draco. DRACO. I am here. What's the matter?" Draco's eyes shot open and he realized that he was screaming his lungs out. His face is drenched in sweat and he is trembling and Harry is here. He has somehow pulled Draco's chair back and is knelt in front of him, his hands on Draco's knees.
He is here and he wants to tell Harry but he can't. He can't. He doesn't want to. He is not week. He is a strong man.
But his throat is tight and his eyes are wet and he is panting as if he has just run in a marathon.
"Draco, what happened?" Harry asks him, his eyes bright and sharp, focused at him. Draco shakes his head frantically.
"Tell me Draco. What's wrong? What- what were you remembering? Why were you screaming my name."
Draco shakes his head again because it doesn't really matter does it. Harry is here now and no matter what he won't leave Draco.
There is a flicker of doubt of course. There has always been. Draco is damaged. Harry doesn't really know because he hasn't seen Draco talk to anyone else. Draco is marked and Harry is so- so innocent and pure. He hasn't cast a single unforgivable in his life. Draco has cast several. Draco is an ex-death eater who can't sleep without screaming pathetically and Harry deserves better.
He deserves better than being trapped with a damaged man who doesn't know how much he can take anymore.
"Draco." Harry's voice is so tender, so soft that Draco's heart clenches. His insides tremble and his hands clutch the armrest tightly. He is staring into Harry's eyes. They are green and unmarred. Draco has always taken care to keep Harry out of the loop.
"Draco, its okay." Harry whispers, his eyes staring at Draco as if he can see through Draco's soul. Draco shivers and shakes his head because it's not okay. He can't forget.
Harry closes his eyes briefly and Draco can feel the pain emanating from Harry's body. But this is against everything Draco has ever wanted. He can't see Harry in pain. Harry is his life, his family, his best friend, his lover, his whole world and he can't see him in pain.
He reaches Harry's cheeks with trembling fingers and caresses his cheeks. Harry's eyes open and he stares at Draco. Draco's eyes are prickling. Belatedly, he realizes that tears are flowing down his eyes relentlessly.
He shakes his head at Harry and wipes off the sole tear that falls down Harry's wet eyes.
Harry stands up very slowly and takes Draco in his arms. He pulls Draco's face against his belly and Draco wraps his arms around Harry's torso.
"Oh Draco." Harry's voice is so melancholic when he says this. A tremor shakes Draco's body but he doesn't speak anything, not a single word. Harry mustn't know. He doesn't want Harry to feel the pain. He can't.
XXXX
These are one of those moments when Harry doesn't know what to do. Draco won't share his pain with Harry. NO. Harry must be spared. Why? Simply because he had a rotten childhood. Why doesn't Draco see that Harry is not a child anymore and that Draco has already borne his share of pain.
Whatever Harry will do will backfire on him because Draco will not let Harry fight. Why must he do so. Can't he see that Harry loves him more than anyone in this entire world. Can't he see that Harry wants to be able to heal Draco's pain. Why must he fight his terrors, his pain all alone. Why can't he let Harry help for once.
"Draco, we must leave. The hearing-" Harry whispers.
"I am not going anywhere. You can go by yourself. They won't hurt you." Draco's voice is trembling.
Doesn't he see that he can't stay hidden in this house for the rest of his life. He deserves better. They don't hate him now. He has to face them at some point.
"I won't go alone." Harry mutters, his voice adamant and steeled.
"Why-"
"No. I won't." Harry murmurs and backs off. Draco's terrified eyes produce tremors in his entire body. Draco is always so bloody terrified. He won't tell Harry anything about his stay at Azkaban. Harry wants to know. Harry needs to know but Draco won't tell him.
Harry has to make a decision though, here and now. He can go by himself and let Draco stay in self-constructed prison or he can back off and drag Draco out of it. He chooses the second. He is done letting Draco fight alone. He is done being the spectator as Draco battles dragons and snakes in Harry's stead. He is done letting Draco fulfill Harry's destiny.
He is just done. There has to be an end to it.
So Harry takes a hard decision. He mutters, "I am waiting outside for you." and stalks out of their room, ignoring Draco's wordless pleas. He can't let Draco hide in this place or in his mind. He can't let Draco surround himself with the memories that torture him. Draco has to learn to share his pain with Harry. It's high time he did. The burden of guilt for being the cause of Draco's pain is suffocating him.
XXXX
Fifteen minutes later, Draco finds himself in front of Harry. The door is locked. They are standing at the porch. Harry is staring at Draco. Draco knows what Harry wants but old habits die hard. He can't let Harry feel his pain, not yet. His eyes are a bit sullen as he reaches for Harry's hand. His fingers are trembling with terror and he needs a pillar. Harry can be his pillar of strength. Tall, stubborn, domineering, soft, kind, charming Harry who is wrapped around his little finger.
Draco has lied to him. Draco has manipulated him. Draco has always taken advantage of the fact that Harry loves him. But he has only ever done it to spare Harry the pain. Why must both of them suffer when Draco can suffer by himself. Harry is standing in front of him, looking regal in his robes, slightly taller than Draco. Beneath his robes, his white shirt is untucked and he has worn black jeans. His eyes are so- so adamant that Draco knows that no-one in this entire world can budge him, no-one except Draco.
But Draco doesn't want to manipulate Harry anymore. He is so tired. So he reaches for Harry's hands with forlorn eyes. For once Harry ignores them and holds Draco's hands tightly in this.
Draco is reminded of the day he was marked. Harry was a sight to behold that day. Draco had feared that he will tear the entire Hogwarts castle apart if Draco didn't return.
Harry has always been dominating. He only ever listened to Draco because Draco didn't demand anything of him. He advised and suggested. He never commanded Harry because he knew that Harry would never have listened to his commands. Harry was simply not a person to be messed with. He was aggressive and short-tempered. Draco's presence and words calmed Harry down, kept his feet on earth.
"Let me help you." Harry murmurs, his voice strong and his eyes bright green as they gaze at Draco. His body is still like a snake's waiting for Draco to argue. But Draco doesn't. He is just so tired. A sobs escapes Draco's mouth and he finds himself in Harry's warm arms, his cheeks pressed against Harry's chest.
A moment later, Harry apparates them in front of the Ministry of Magic.
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Irreversible