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How Did I Get Here?	By : caliadragon Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 18548 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-How Did I Get Here?
- 2-Chapter 8: Vows and Thoughts
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PLEASE READ A/N 2!!!

A/N 2: This fic has been a long and ongoing process for me and has managed to evolve from what I originally intended it to be. It was my first Harry Potter fic and I am ashamed to say it has a way to go before it is finished. Thank you to everyone who has kept with it and is still interested in seeing what will happen to our beloved characters. The time line is going to jump in this chapter and we will be witnessing Harry and Severus' wedding. Harry is now six months pregnant. For those of you who are wondering there will be no sex yet. Harry and Severus are getting closer, but Harry has been abused his entire life and violently raped.

As such I do not believe that he is either emotionally or physically ready to commit to such a relationship. I have been accused by a few detractors of making Harry feminine in his reactions to the changes in his body as well as the reactions to his trauma. I do not believe this is the case. Rape is not just a physical invasion; it is an emot ional one as well. Not only does the victim experience the loss of their physical safety, they are raped in their minds and have their sense of self damaged.

For Harry this would have been worse; the man who raped him, while under the control of another, was someone that Harry not only loved, but trusted as well. On top of that he witnessed Sirius kill himself so that Harry might escape with his life. Add in the visions that he is constantly assaulted with - Harry will be very fragile. This has made him revert to the shy, uncertain boy he was when he first met Hagrid.

Through the course of this fic you will see Harry get stronger and see the spark that makes him Harry return, but in the meantime he will be a shadow of the boy we have come to love in the books. If this is something you do not like, please stop reading the story and insulting my view on things.

I have known victims, both male and female, of rape, abuse and neglect and they do not complet ely bounce back even if they show that view to the world. Harry is not doing so, simply because both Mione and Ron would know that it was a facade and because he is simply too tired to do so.

Anyway if you continue to read, thank you for listening to me ramble and for reading my work. Now on to the fic.

Chapter 8: Vows and Thoughts

Harry stood calmly inside the antechamber of the Snape family manor. In just a few minutes he would be walking out to marry Severus. They had spent the last few months getting to know one another, but thankfully, Severus had kept his promise and they had not even kissed yet. It would, perhaps, seem strange to others if they knew that he was marrying a man that he had done no more than hug or be held by.

Harry shared a bed with Severus, the bond was strengthened by this, but they only slept side by side. Severus never tried to force things to go beyond sleeping in each other's arms. Nor had he complained that they had only reached that point just a few weeks prior. In fact, the older man seemed to know instinctively just what Harry could tolerate and when to keep his hands to himself.

Harry was not nervous, nor was he afraid. He knew very well that Severus would never hurt him. The bond had changed things between them and Harry knew that Severus loved him as much as he loved the baby that Harry as carrying. Harry would just be happy when today was over, and they could go back to the quiet life they had been living at Hogwarts with just their friends in attendance and no outsiders watching and whispering about them.

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Remus watched the boy he loved like a son as he stood quietly watching the clouds outside the window. Remus was pleased to see that Harry was so calm, but at the same time he could not help but feel sadness. What should have been a day of anticipation of the first time he would make love with his husband, was not to be. Instead, Harry and Severus would carry on as they had been.

There was no passion or thrilling sex life in their relationship, at least not yet. Remus felt that some day that would come, but right now Harry was just too damaged by what had been done to him. Remus knew just how Severus was treating him; he knew that they shared a bed platonically and that the Potions Master had not even attempted to kiss Harry while he was awake. Severus had placed gentle kisses on Harry's brow while he slept and had rocked and comforted him through many a vision in the last few months, before they had decided that Harry needed to learn Occlumency and Legilimency so that Harry could keep Voldemort out of his mind.

The most heart breaking about this day, for Remus, was that he was the one giving Harry away in marriage, not James, or even Sirius. Remus had been deeply touched by the fact that Harry had asked him instead of Arthur, but Harry had wanted the man he considered to be his father, and Remus had been shocked to realize that it was he whom Harry saw in that role.

The young man had told Remus that, as much as he loved Sirius, he had seen Sirius as an uncle or a friend, but Remus held the role of father and mentor. Had held it since he had cared for him in third year. Harry had still felt this way even after learning that Remus was involved with Lucius.

The elder Malfoy had been there after he had lost Sirius, just as he had been there after Lucius lost Narcissa. What had started as solace was slowly evolving into something more. They had not had sex, nor did they do more than spend time in each other's company, but Remus felt it was only a matter of time.

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Ron watched Harry, a wondering smile on his face. If anyone had told him a year ago that his best friend would one day marry Severus Snape, and that he himself would be all but engaged to Draco Malfoy, he would have hexed them first and beat the shit out of them second. Now, though, that was exactly what was happening.

Ron wished that Harry had the same relationship with Severus that he had with Draco, but knew that there was still a lot that Harry had to recover from before that was possible. The truth was that he had always figured that he and Harry would end up together or with Mione. None of the three of them had ever been completely comfortable or at ease with anyone else, and the few relationships that they had embarked upon had ended up total disasters or had fizzled out before they'd even got started.

Draco was Ron's first lover, and unfortunately Harry had been a virgin when he had been raped by a Vodemort-controlled Sirius. For that matter, until Mione got involved with Millicent Bulstrode, she too had been a virgin. At first they had all been uncomfortable with the opposite sex and then they couldn't bring themselves to trust anyone. Being Harry's friends had given Ron and Mione just as much notoriety as Harry himself suffered from, and it made it hard for them to get involved with anyone for fear that they were just doing it for the bragging rights.

Ron thought it was a bit humorous that all three of them had ended up involved with Slytherins, and felt more comfortable with them than they did with anyone else. Ron was drawn out of his thoughts by the arrival of his father. Everyone turned and followed the older man out of the room and Ron went to take his place on Harry's side of the aisle.

Remus, Alistair, Harry and Severus stood at the opening to the room. On the outside of the two pairs stood Harry and Severus. Remus and Alistair separated the pair by standing side by side. The two grooms would not touch until they reached Albus and were formally given to one another through the ritual of Merlin, and the two men ackno wledged that their children were ready for the step they were about to take.

As they reached Albus, the older wizard smiled kindly at the four men. "Do you, the fathers of these two men, agree that they are ready to embark on a life as spouse, father and lover?" he asked solemnly.

"We do," Remus and Alistair said in unison.

"Then, by Merlin and the Ministry, I bestow upon them the right to stand side by side and swear fidelity," Albus intoned.

The two fathers stepped from between their sons and joined the two men's hands. They then turned and went to sit in the pews and watch the rest of the ceremony.

Albus turned to the two men and smiled happily at the pair. He would not let his own sorrow at the reality of this joining mar the day. He held out the bracelets and the rings that they would wear, and watched happily as they gave each other the symbols of their joining.

"Bound through heart, bound through soul. Once separate, these two men are now whole. By Merlin and the Ministry, they are wed. Mate and lover until one or other leave this mortal coil." Albus took his wand and touched the symbols that the two men wore. He then stepped back, a smile on his face as the two he considered children kissed one another chastely, and Harry allowed himself to be pulled into a hug.

Perhaps this wedding didn't have the passion that some did, but it was heartfelt, and Harry felt safe for the first time since Sirius had died to let him escape and live.

End Part 8
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How Did I Get Here?