I Don\'t Think So

A/N: Okay, well despite getting only three reviews - or maybe because of it - I have still decided to continue with this story. Here\'s chapter two. No actual sex, but there is innuendo and some bad language. Hope that will suffice.
This chapter is setting the scene for the next chapter where sex will abound, both slash and het. Yay!!!

Disclaimer: I wish, but I don\'t, so there you go.

Thanx to Serenitas, Faerie of Mischief and MegaB

Please review, especially if you want more. If you don\'t... well...


Chapter two

“Severus, if you don’t snap out of that foul mood right now I’m going to ask Albus to move your potions classroom to the sunny end of the third floor.” Professor McGonagall stood in front of him, her best formidable expression on her face.
Snape glanced up at her, his eyes narrow. Foul mood? This was nothing compared to when the headmaster had sprung the news on him. He was expected to attend the Valentines Ball. Dumbledore had said they’d need all the chaperones they could get, given the mood of the season. Stupid bloody day. He was personally convinced that if two teenagers got together anywhere, on any day, some sort of sex would ensue.
Besides, his mood now was no worse than it usually was.
“Even the staff don’t want to come into the staff room until you leave.” McGonagall continued.
Snape looked back into his cup of coffee. “Good. Peace and quiet for a change. What makes you and Lupin so brave?”
McGonagall waved her hand dismissively. “I’ve known you for years. You’re not nearly as surly as you want people to think.”
Snape scowled and looked at Remus, who was back to take up the Defence Against the Dark Arts teaching position again.
“Me? I just want a cup of tea.” He relaxed in a chair near Snape’s with his Earl Grey. “I don’t scare too easily any more.”
“Well, at leaou dou don’t gossip.” Snape muttered and, closing his eyes, proceeded to ignore them both.
“Hem, hem.” McGonagall’s impersonation of Professor Umbridge had become so adept over the years that Snape very nearly jumped.
“Gods woman, what do you want?”
“Do you have a… partner for the Ball? A friend of mine will be visiting from Australia and I thought…” she trailed off as his murderous glare became more pronounced. “Or, Remus knows some nice…er… men…“ trailing off again as the glare became totally feral. She’d enlisted Remus’ help because she realised that she had no idea of Snape’s sexual orientation. She was beginning to think he didn’t have one.
“If I choose to bring a… partner to the damn Ball, I won’t need your help in finding one. Thank you.” Snape ground out between clenched teeth. Gods, but he needed some whisky in this coffee. “And,” He turned on Remus. “I’ll thank you to keep your perversions to yourself.”
Remus chuckled amiably, aware, even if McGonagall wasn’t, of some of the things Snape and his fellow Slytherins used to get up to. Remembering, too, the brief but satisfying affair that he and Snape had shared while still at school. He hadn’t cared too much about Remus keeping his perversions to himself back then.
“Oh, for the love of…” Snape growled. He stood and swept from the staff room in a flourish of black, muttering an incantation under his breath. Hearing the gasp of surprise as he closed the door behind him, he suddenly felt a little better.

With a wave of her wand, McGonagall stopped the snow from falling in the staff room, but not before the floor was covered in an icy carpet.
Remus was laughing. “I think we touched a nerve there.” He rested his feet on the chair Snape had just vacated.
“He’s such a sullen bastard. I don’t think I’d put any woman through the pain of having to accompany him anywhere.” A quick thawing and drying charm was putting the floor back to normal. “What do you think Remus? Is he straight?”
“What makes you think I’d know?”
“Something about the way he spoke of your… er… perversions made me think he might know of them a little bit more intimately.”
Remus chuckled but neither confirmed nor denied anything.

“Harry, there is no force on earth that could make me go to the Valentines Ball with Vincent Crabbe.” Hermione looked up from the book she was reading. “Or Goyle for that matter, before you ask.”
“But you want to go wsomesomeone, right?”
She shrugged. “I don’t really care. I don’t even know if I’m going. The whole thing’s stupid.”
“You’re only saying that because you don’t have a partner.”
“Don’t be stupid. Besides, if Crabbe is the best that there is, I don’t want a partner.” She looked back at her book. “I’d rather go with Snape.”
“Now who’s being stupid?” Harry threw himself into the chair opposite hers. “Come on Herm. It’s our last year of school. Loosen up a bit and have some fun.”
“First of all, you know I hate being called Herm. And second, this is the most important year of school. This is the only year I get to prove that I can train to be an auror. There’ll be plenty of time for fun.”
“When? Auror training takes five years and you’ll probably ignore the rest of the human race while you’re doing that.” He leaned closer to her and plucked the book from her hands. “All right, I can understand that you don’t want to go with Crabbe. Come with me.”
That got a laugh. “You?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
“Apart from not wanting everyone to think that I’m your latest conquest, I thought you and Draco were going to use this as an opportunity to come out.”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t come with us.”
“I’ll think about it. I really don’t want to go.” She held out her hand. “Can I have my book back?”
“Not until you promise to come.” Harry stowed the book behind his back. “I’ll get Draco to do your make-up. He’s getting really artistic with the eye-liner now.”
Hermione grimaced. “I don’t need to know. Accio book.” And as the book sailed gracefully into her waiting hands, she curled her legs under her, opened it to the chapter she was reading and pointedly ignored Harry.

“Severus.”
“Goddamnit Lupin. How the hell did you get in here?”
“Your door wasn’t locked in any serious way.” Remus sat on the sofa next to Snape.
Snape growled and moved to the arm chair opposite.
“Now Severus.” Remus reproved mockingly. “We both know you’re a lot friendlier than that.”
“That was a long time ago Lupin. Please leave.” Snape was disturbed at how easily Remus had entered his private chambers undetected. Maybe the werewolf was darker than he suspected. His thoughts slid back to their seventh year at school, when Remus had constantly surprised him by proving just how dark a creature he really was. He should be neither disturbed nor surprised by the man now. He made a mental note to ensure he didn’t underestimate Remus.
“Not until I’ve said my piece, love.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Remus shrugged, not at all bothered by Snape’s tenacity. “Surely you’ve a nice girl stashed away for just such an occasion as this.”
“What makes you think I want to bring a girl to this ridiculous event?”
“Aha, a boy then.” Remus leaned forward with interest. “I knew…”
“If you don’t shut the fuck up right now, murder will be committed.” Snape snarled, then relented a little. “There’s no-one. I don’t seem to attract people the way you do. Collecting lovers was a hobby of yours if I remember.”
Remus had the good grace to look sheepish. “I’ve already apologised for that. And explained. Sirius was jealous. There was no truth in anything he said.”
Snape shrugged, trying to tell himself he didn’t care. When in all reality he did. And had. He’d been more hurt than he’d thought possible when Black had casually walked up to him all those years ago, laughing derisively at him.

“How about it Snivellus? Care to fuck me as well?”
He’d blanched. What did Black know? How much did he know? And how had he found out? “I wouldn’t touch you, Black. Even if you were the last fuckable thing left on earth I’d kill you.”
Sirius had moved very close to him then, and spoken very softly, his breath warm in Snape’s ear. “Remus is mine. You’re just the last toy in an amusing little game we were playing. At least it was amusing until you started to want him. You’ll be glad to know you won the game for him. He managed to seduce the most willing participants.” And with that he’d given Snape’s cheek a kiss and strolled away, chuckling happily.

The memory still chafed, and he’d vowed never to be hurt like that again. Not that he’d had that many offers in the last few years. Most people weren’t as brave as Lupin and just didn’t approach him. That and the fact that he wasn’t the most attractive man on earth both served to ensure his solitude.
“I don’t have a partner either.” Remus shrugged and gave a lopsided grin, one he knew appealed to both sexes.
“So?”
“Let’s go together.”
“I am not attending this Ball for fun, or because I want to. Albus has… requested my help as a chaperone.” He smirked. “I can hardly do that while fending off the attentions of a horny werewolf. I’m not giving the faculty anything else to gossip about.”
Remus stood up to leave, seemingly unbothered by the knock-back. “Maybe after then…” and he left, closing the door on Snape’s stunned silence.

“Harry says you might not be coming to the Valentines Ball.” Ron slid into the chair next to Hermione’s in the library.
Hermione sighed and placed her quill on the parchment gently. She looked around for Summer. There she was, over by the Divination section. She shook her head. Ron and Summer were rarely apart these days. If that’s what having a boyfriend did to your independence, she wanted nothing to do with it. “And what does it matter to you?”
Ron put a wounded expression on his face. “Come on Herm. I want you there. You’re one of my best friends after all.”
“Don’t call me that. You won’t even notice whether I turn up or not.” she snapped, softening her tone as she noticed the mock wounded expression on Ron’s face change, a hurt look appearing in his eyes. “I’m sorry Ron, but you won’t. You and Summer will be doing the lovers bit and there won’t be any room for hangers on.”
Summer sat across the table from Ron and shook her blonde hair from her eyes. She and Ron linked hands across the table and she turned her clear blue eyes on Hermione. “Have you got a date for the Ball?” Her voice was as clear as her eyes. There were times when Hermione wished she could dislike the girl, but she found it impossible. Her personality was as beautiful as her looks. “Andrew Reilly is interested in going with you.”
Hermione glanced across at the tall dark haired captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Why would he want to go with her? “What? As a favour to you? No thank you.”
“Okay, sorry. Just trying to help.” Summer, not easily offended, smiled her brilliant smile. “Let me know if you change your mind.”
“Thanks. But I won’t.” Hermione softened her attitude once againf shf she wasn’t careful, she’d have no friends left. They meant well, she supposed, but who wanted to go anywhere with Crabbe or Goyle and who wanted a mercy date with the best looking boy in Ravenclaw? She’d heard that Andrew had split with his girlfriend, but she couldn’t believe there weren’t girls lining up to go with him. He wouldn’t voluntarily choose plain, brainy Hermione Granger. She wondered what Summer had on him. The joke she’d made to Harry about preferring to go with Snape was looking better and better.

“And we’ve gone all out on romance as the theme.” Hermione found Ginny’s enthusiasm draining. “Everything will be pink, red and white and we’ll throw in some gold and silver stars to keep it magical.”
“Plenty of hearts and flowers. And we’ve arranged for confetti to fall at regular intervals during the evening.” Lavender added. “Parvati even found some cupids willing to join in the fun.”
“Sounds wonderful.” Hermione murmured, with infinitely more enthusiasm then she felt. “I’ve managed to secure Band Substance to play on the night.”
“Oooooh, I love them.” Lavender went into a dream. “Zimran Tor is gorgeous. Maybe I won’t go with Jasper after all.”
“Speaking of dates.” Ginny started. “Hermione?”
“No, I haven’t got a date yet.” The older girl replied tiredly.
“Oh, good. Er… I mean…” she trailed off, then recovered. “You know how I’m going with Alex Stone?”
“Yes.” said cautiously. Where was this going?
“And you know he’s a twin?” At Hermione’s nod, she continued. “Well, Alistair hasn’t got a date and Alex doesn’t feel right about going without his twin. Will you go with him? For me?” she pleaded.
“Ginny, I…” After all the work the younger girl had done helping to organize the Ball, how could Hermione deny her this? “Okay, you win. But I’m not kissing him.” she warned.
“Oh thank you.” Ginny threw her arms around Hermione’s neck in gratitude, then ran off to join her friends by the lake, leaving Hermione staring after her in confusion.
“… attitude to the whole thing.” Lavender was speaking to her. “You’re not quite the cold hearted bitch you want everyone to think you are, are you?”
“Sorry, I was thinking. What did you say?”
Lavender frowned. Hermione was never that vague. She looked in Ginny’s direction and, seeing no cause for Hermione’s distraction, repeated herself. “I was just saying that was a really nice thing to do for her.”
Hermione shrugged, still watching the youngest Weasley. With a jolt, it crossed her mind that she might not be doing this for Ginny as much as for Ginny. And the thought scared her. She’d never felt such intense feelings for another female before. She sighed sadly and followed Lavender inside. If Ginny was going to be the object of her love then she was destined to be unfulfilled. Apart from being Ron’s sister, she obviously preferred boys.


A/N: Thanx to ‘The Simpsons’ for the quote. If you didn’t pick it, it doesnatteatter.

To be continued...
Thanx for reading...

Please review... do you want more? Remember, smut coming.