• 1-I'm Shagging Who?
• 2-I'm Shagging Who, Too?

"Oh, for goodness sakes, Ron, virgin and
virginal do not mean exactly the same thing."

"So you are a virgin," he said, relief in
his voice.

"I never said that."

"You're not a virgin?"

"I never said that either," Hermione
huffed. "Honestly Ron, it's none of your business!"

Ron looked at her expectantly, but Hermione turned
back to the rather large fic she was reading and he slumped in his chair. He
wasn't getting any more of an answer than that, and he really didn't want to
think about what she could possible be reading.

He sighed and reached out to an untouched pile on
his left. He picked up the top fic to find that it was relatively short. Apparently
PWP, whatever that meant. He continued to scan the disclaimer and author notes,
rather bored and wanting, instead, to get to the good stuff. He paused
momentarily at the pairing, trying to figure out what GWHG stood for. After a
moment he glared at his brother, but George was completely oblivious. He
continued for a moment longer before turning to the nearest person.
Unfortunately said person was Draco.

"What's femslash?" he asked.

The Slytherin rolled his eyes, glancing at the fic.
"You seriously possess no higher brain function, do you?" he drawled.
"Think about it, Weasel. What's slash?" Ron's face contorted into a
grimace. "I see you recall reading that. Although, what could possibly be
so bad about me and Harry having sex on the-"

"Draco," Harry said warningly and the blond smirked and rolled his
eyes.

"Back to the matter at hand. You know what slash is, what do you
think the fem is? What on earth could it possibly be short for when the listed
pairing is the Granger and the mini Weasel?"

"Mini Wea-" Ron
paled. "Ugh!" he protested a moment later. "Ginny
and Hermione? That's just wrong!"

"Why?" Ginny asked, suddenly defensive.
"What's wrong with that?"

"My, aren't we suddenly liberated after only
discovering slash a few minutes ago."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I've always known what
slash was, Malfoy, I just didn't know the word. I simply didn't want the mental
images of the boy I crushed on as a child doing, well, nasty things to
you."

"What, you'd ra joi join in?"

Ginny shrugged. "Wouldn't
say no. You're both hot, and a Ginny sandwich could be fun." She
heard the twins and Ron spluttering but chose to ignore them. "But back to
me and Hermione. What’s wrong with that?"

"Yes, Ron, what is wrong with that?"
Hermione asked, briskly, noting that Snape's head snapped up.

Ron looked squeamish and shifted in his chair. "I
mean it is better than Snape,"
he said, not daring to look at his Potions Master. He hadn’t been able to do
that for a while now. "But still, she's my sister and she's…well…"

"A woman?" Hermione provided.

"Yes!"

"You would be amazed at how much fun that is
to watch, Weasel."

"She's my sister, Malfoy!"

Draco smirked. "I'm glad she's not mine. I
hear redheads are real…fiery. Wouldn't mind a go sometime."

Unfortunately for Draco, he had forgotten that he
was sitting next to Ron and soon found himself in a rather painful headlock. Luckily
for Draco, he was still in possession of his wand and Ron seemed to have more
inclination to forget he was a wizard and resort to physical violence, and less
to remember to protect himself from hexes.

As Ron hit the floor, Draco straightened out his
shirt, and flattened his hair, before leaning back and picking up, Second Chances, which he continued to
read. "I am actually sickened by the fact that I had sex with Pansy."

"Hello, I'm right here," the Slytherin
said with a glare.

"Doesn't Gollum make you think of Filch a
little, an, and isn't Legolas just Draco in these ones?"

Hermione burst out laughing. "Still
the prettiest!"

"What?" Draco asked, looking a little
confused. In fact there were few people who seemed to know what the girls were
talking about. "I know I'm the prettiest, but what are you talking about?"

"It's a Muggle thing, Draco," Ginny said
with a smile. "You wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't want to." Draco rolled his
eyes. "Where did you get it anyway?"

"Harry's bag."

Draco turned to Harry who shrugged. "So I'm a pervy hobbit fancier! If you saw those films, you'd
agree." Draco remained silent, still looking at him. "Stop it." Silence. "Let's go back to talking about Ginny being
gay."

"Ginny just said she isn't gay," Ron
ground out.

"You're far too tense, Ron," Hermione
said, "loosen up a little." When Ron glared
at her she grunted in frustration. "Oh, for goodness
sakes." She leaned over the empty chair separating her from Ginny,
grabbed the girl and kissed her.

No one moved.

The Weasleys watched in abject horror while the
others watched in fascination. Snape even put down his latest obsession, Veils of Illusion, to watch. Draco
noticed.

"Hey, Uncle Severus, there's one to add to
your pile of Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione." He
indicated to the kidding girls. "You can do both of them."

Draco quickly found himself pounced on by more
Weasleys than he could count, and it was not until Harry finally cast a few
spells that he was finally released. Ron glared at him again as Draco
straightened his hair and sorted out his clothes, casting a few quick ironing
spells on his robes. He sent death glares at everything with red hair, except,
of course, the youngest Weasley, who was no longer in a Granger lip lock.

"Where's Percy?" Ron asked, trying to
change the subject and refrain from punching the blond next to him.

"He's locked himself in that room,"
George said, aimlessly waving his hand in the direction of a small door to
Ron's right as he settled back to read, A
Night in Paris, noting that his twin was also reading a fic where he had
Hermione in the starring role. Something about the bookishness, he decided.

"What's he doing?" Ron asked, but George
ignored him and allowed his twin to answer.

"Oh, he discovered the joy that is smut. He
hasn't come out of in over an hour, and judging by the noises-"

"Fred!" Ginny cried, wrinkling her nose
in disgust. "That's almost as creepy as the Dumbledore/Umbridge/Harry
fic I just threw out."

Draco shrugged. "You're my bitch."

"Given that you tend to be the girl most of
the time, I don't see how."

"How am I the woman?"

"Ooh, don't touch my hair! I bruise easily!
I'm just a poor, mis-understood son of a Death Eater,
pity me! Oh, not the face! What did I say? Don't touch the hair! I'm - ouch,
Draco, that hurt!"

"Good."p>

Harry glared for a moment, but couldn'tp thp the
smile that broke his face at the adorable pout on Draco's face.

I am not pouting!

Yes, you are!

Wait a minute, Draco thought, you can hear me?

Would
appear so.

Why?

Fic
writer's prerogative?

People write fic where we
can read each other's minds? Draco asked aghast.

Haven't you read Gold Tinted Spectacles? Or Adamo Redamo? I'm sure I gave them to you.

Draco frowned. I
started the Adamo one, but was disturbed by the
thought of reading Weasley's mind, so I stopped. Draco shuddered. We were friends. He said, as if it were
a poisonous thought. I got worried.