• 1-Join Me In Death - Part I
• 2-Part II
• 3-Part III
• 4-Part IV
• 5-Epilogue
• 6-fine

Series: Join Me In Death

Chapter: II - We're Here Only To Lose

Type: Slash Fic

Pairing: Draco/Harry

Rated: NC-17 - dark angst

Blurb: won't you die tonight for love?

Won't you die tonight for love

Baby join me in death

Won't you die

Baby join me in deathont>

Methodically, he dressed for his last day of class at Hogwarts. Instead of reaching for his green-lined Slytherin robe though, he pulled out the spare gold-embellished Gryffindor robe Harry had always kept in his closet in case he overslept while staying the night and didn’t have time to return to his dorm. He threw it over his shoulders and swallowed salty tears as he looked at himself in the mirror. For a moment, he could almost feel the arms around him and the teasing voice telling him how good he looked in red and gold.

“Sets off your assets quite nicely…”

The robe was a little too small, owing to the fact that he had had a late second growth spurt and his pale wrists showed beyond the black of the sleeves. He flinched as a fresh wave of guilt crashed over him and he turned his hands slightly so that his inner wrists weren’t showing. The other students would gossip, but he didn’t care. They could speculate all they wanted for all the good it would do. They would never understand anyway, even if he had explained. “I can’t do this…”

“Remember… you promised me…”

He closed his eyes and practiced a deep breathing technique and after a few moments, he was calm enough to pull the put the old façade that his lover had broken back on his face, rendering his emotions completely unreadable. He finished drng ang and ran a comb through his drying hair and grabbed his books and left the room.

So long as he had his façade, getting through classes wasn’t too difficult and if prying eyes dared to look at him, he fended them off with a piercing glare and a sneer. The only class he had had trouble with was Professor Snape’s class. Snape had always been too observant of everything, despite what people said about his ignorance towards himself. After the War, Snape had shown a softer side to Draco and though he appreciated that silent gesture, he also wished that Snape wouldn’t do that because it made him feel even more conspicuous in class.

Today in NEWT Potions, Snape was reviewing them for their upcoming N.E.W.Ts exam, reminding them about the banning of certain potions. Draco flipped through his notebook, making notes about previous lectures, distancing himself from the Professor’s current lecture. He didn’t need a lecture on love potions when he was still under the permanent effects of a natural one.

Won't you die tonight for love

Baby join me in death…

“… and this potion is different from the other love potions because of what, Mr. Malfoy?” Snape’s sharp voice hovered above him and he mentally cursed.

He didn’t look up from his notebook, but he answered in a bored, but tight voice. “Because it doesn’t affect the person unless there was an attraction there in the first place. It opens the drinker’s mind to the accepting of new possibilities.”

Not that that would have helped…

Snape was silent for a moment. “Very good. And now…”

Draco glowered and continued writing, his quill fairly flying along the pages. He heard someone across from him mumble something about “bloody suck-up Slytherin” and he shot the student a wilting glare and the comments stopped right there.

When class finally ended, Snape gave his end of year speech and said good luck to everyone who was taking the N.E.W.Ts.
“Class dismissed. Mr. Malfoy, please see me after class.” Snape’s voice sounded ominous.

Draco sighed and collected his books and made his way to the front of class. When everyone else had left, Snape closed the door and turned to his pupil.

“You still miss him.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“… That’s no business of yours.” The vein in his jaw pulsed. How dare Snape be so forward!

“It bloody damn well is my business!” Snape suddenly shouted and slapped his hands on the countertop, making flasks shake and the various liquids in them slosh around.

Draco jumped. “I don’t see how it is… Sir.”

“Of all my students, you have the most potential to pass your exams and surpass everyone else, even Miss. Granger.” The professor’s voice was clipped. “I don’t want to see your potential being wasted away because you’re blaming yourself for something that you could not have helped!”

The blond was shocked. He knew that his Potions professor had been observant, but he hadn’t realized just how much Snape had managed to piece together.

“I know… you’re in pain.” The professor’s eyes flickered slightly. “But you mustn’t let yourself succumb to it. You must fight it, Draco. With as much fervor as you… loved him.”

Draco gulped. “Love, professor, not loved.”

Professor Snape flinched as if pained and he nodded slightly. His hand curled over an old leatherbound book on the counter and tightened until his knuckles turned white. “You mustn’t give in. He… wouldn’t want you to.”

This world is a cruel place

and we're here only to lose…

“Promise me…?”

“I know.” His eyes misted over and he almost started crying again, but he fought it down and managed to paste a smile on his face. “And I won’t.”

“I promise…”
Snape relaxed slightly and he nodded. “I’m… glad to hear that. That is all, then. And… good luck with your exams.”

“Thank you, Professor Snape.” Draco nodded and left the room in swirl of black, green, red, and gold.