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Should Have Been	By : Rochelle Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 3680 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Should Have Been

Chapter Two: For Siri

Sirius stood in the field for a moment just watching the boy fly around. He wasn�t that high off the ground, even though there was no one within miles to see him. That was the thing about this place, which was technically something Sirius had given to Remus a long time ago. It was out of the way and no one would accidentally stumble across it or see something they shouldn�t be seeing. But it was also close to the small Muggle town, so anything they needed was usually only a walk away.
A thick forest, which Sirius also owned (His family may have been horrible people, but being wealthy did have its good points�) surrounded the house and Sirius couldn�t help but remember being young and running with Remus on the moon.
He shook away the thoughts and turned his gaze back to the boy.
Siri seemed to have a lot of skill with the broom. (Which, he noted, was an old model�it wouldn�t hurt to get the kid something newer.) Then again Remus had said he was a Quidditch player, he shouldn�t have been so surprised. Sirius found himself wondering what position he played. He doubted Seeker, he was too tall for that, or Keeper. His height would make him too clumsy to do it well, at least for a few more years.
Sirius found himself wondering about a lot of things he couldn�t help but feel that he should know. He�d never really given much thought to children before everything had gone wrong, but he�d been twenty-two and not interested in anything except lying around doing nothing with Remus, sex with Remus, and Remus in general. But he�d known, in some abstract sort of way, they�d be nice to have and that he�d be a much better parent than his ever were.
And in a way he was no better. Hell, his kid didn�t even know him.
�this was just a whole new reason to kill Wormtail.
A few minutes passed before the teen noticed him and came back down. He got off of his broom, a slightly confused expression on his face. He tilted his head off to the side and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes went from blue to gold for a moment, as if hinting at the fact he could take care of himself and that Sirius had better be wary.

�Hi, Siri. I wanted to talk to you.�

�Who�re you?�

Sirius was silent for a moment. The truth could very well scare the boy�then again not telling the truth wouldn�t help the situation any wouldn�t. �Sirius Black. I�m a good friend of your fathers.�

The boy blinked, blue eyes curious. �I didn�t know Da had any friends.� He let his defensive posture drop, apparently deciding that if Sirius was a friend of his fathers then there was no threat.
��Well, he was a little more social once upon a time.�
�Really? I never would have thought.� Siri toyed with his hair, a nervous gesture Sirius knew he had picked up from Remus. The braid began to come undone. �You know there�s a murderer with your name.�

�He was framed.�

�That�s what Da said.� He frowned a little, looking all too much like Remus for Sirius� personal comfort. It made it strangely�real to be talking to him.
He had a son.
Somewhere James was having a laugh at his expense.
�So you�re�the Sirius Black then?� Sirius nodded. �Oh. And�you were the dog on the porch then?� Another nod. He had to hand it to this kid, he caught on quickly. �Ah. And you�re friends with my dad because�?�
�Your dad was a lot different when I know him.�
�He must have been.� Siri muttered. �Now he�s just over-protective and kind of neurotic.�
��Well, no, that�s not new.� Sirius admitted. Remus had been big on rules back in school, even if he very rarely made them follow any of them. Sirius hated to admit it, but Remus had been a bit of a push over when they were younger.
He�d grown out of it eventually though.
�Well, as long as it isn�t just me.� Siri said then looked around, biting his lip. �Why do you want to talk to me?�

�I�because I want to get to know you?� If anything the teen looked more confused then he�d been at first. �Well�Remus said it�d be a good idea and�I agree with him�I guess. In a way.�

Siri raised an eyebrow as he spoke. �You make it sound like you plan to be around here for a while.�

�Maybe.� Sirius said, watching the boy closely. �I hope, but I think it�s up to you.�

The boy�s eyebrows furrowed. �So, you�re what, my dad�s boyfriend or something? If you are you shouldn�t play that I�m too young to know game, my dad�s just going to tell me later on anyway. He doesn�t keep secrets, its not the way he does things.�

�I�m not�I was once.� Sirius looked up at the sky. The sun was starting to set and the sky was being tinged with orange and violet. �I wouldn�t mind being with him again.�
Siri looked at him, gaze hard and searching before he nodded again. �Fine. I approve. You don�t have to worry about getting along with me then, I�m not even here that much.�

Sirius raised an eyebrow. �Maybe I want to get along with you.�

�Why? To look good with my dad? The fact he even let you in the house means my opinion isn�t going to change his mind much. He doesn�t let many people get this close to me.� He brushed a loose strand of hair back. �Don�t worry about it.�

Sirius was silent for a moment. Siri seemed pretty mature and logical for a thirteen year old. That was either going to make it easier or a lot harder.

�That isn�t why I want to get along with you Siri.� He said finally. The teen blinked him, confused again. �I�m not really sure how to�tell you this.�

Siri crossed his arms over his chest. �Tell me what?�

�You�re dad and I�we were together until I got thrown is Azkaban. You were born a little after that. I didn�t even know you existed until I saw you at the front door.� Sirius knew he was babbling. But how did you tell someone you�re their father?

Siri seemed happy enough with the knowledge he had, he could be fucking up the boy�s entire life by even being here. Maybe if he�d had a little warning from Dumbledore or Remus had told him last year or�anything. If he�d had time to think about this maybe he�d know what he was doing. But he had no idea how to be a father.

Siri was watching him, blue eyes guarded. He was clearly waiting for Sirius to finish what he wanted to say, but the man had to admit he had the strange feeling the teen already know.
�I�m not really sure how to say this.�

��You�re my father.� Siri�s tone was quiet and calm, belaying the frantic look in his eyes. Sirius nodded and Siri made a choked noise. His hands clenched into fists at his side and he looked at the ground, not saying anything for a few, impossibly long moments. Sirius just watched worried but not sure what he could say.
Then Siri looked up, black bangs half hiding his eyes. He unclenched his hands and licked his bottom lip before nodding.
�Yeah I thought so.� More of his braid came unraveled under his rapidly moving fingers. �I know it was supposed to be a secret, to protect me, but Da�s not exactly great at the secret keeping thing. That�s why he doesn�t keep them from me.�
�So you know.�
�I had an idea.� Siri corrected. He looked around again then sat down at the base of the tree. Sirius followed suit. He had to admit; he found the teen interesting already. �I mean�things add up, you know? Dates, the interest the headmaster of Hogwarts has in me, the name��
�I wish I could say you inherited my naturally crafty mind.� Sirius said, cracking a smile. �But that would be a lie.�
That sounded like something Remus would have done. Gathering together facts and figuring things out, as opposed to just weaseling the information out of other people, that was.
�Yeah. That and the fact Tonks told me.� Siri said, smiling impishly.
Or not.
Sirius laughed and nodded. �Of course she did. I�m sure she thought the idea of having a baby cousin was too good to pass up. She isn�t the type to let a silly thing like a deep, dark secret stop her.�
�Don�t tell Da though, he�s already a little worked up about how much we have in common and how well we get along.� Siri pulled his legs up to his c and and rested his chin on his knees.
�Remus sounds like Tonks� mother. She was always telling me I was a horrible influence on her. It was true of course.� Sirius conceded.
�Tonks is great.� Siri said as if to put Sirius� mind at ease. He didn�t have to; Sirius knew that his cousin was nothing if not a great cousin. As long as the tees cas careful to not call her by her first name, there would be no problems.
�She said you couldn�t have known about me, because you wouldn�t have let yourself be taken away.� Siri added, looking at him.

�Remus never got a chance to tell me.� Sirius confirmed.

�Right� Siri looked away, ducking his head, suddenly looking shy. �Because of what happened. I never thought I�d be�meeting you, I guess. Hi?�

�Hi.� Sirius returned, allowing a small smile before he frowned again. �I�m sorry that I was�well in prison. Wasn�t exactly something I had planned on at the time? I should have been here/�
He meant it; he really wished he�d been there to see Siri grow up. Who wanted to miss their son�s entire life? Though it looked like Remus had done a great job without him. He probably would have been a horrible parent anyway�

It looked the mistakes he made just kept compiling. He�d missed out on Harry�s life, had doomed him to live with those Muggles, and had missed his own son�s life as well. He was just striking out all over the place it seemed.

Siri shrugged. �S�not your fault.�

�Yes, it is. I screwed up and now I�m paying for it. And I�ve made a lot of other people suffer because of it.� He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them again. Siri was watching him closely and he sighed. �Its not right that I missed your whole life.�
�So? There are, fundamentally, a great deal of things that just aren�t right.� Siri sounded oddly philosophical, before his nose wrinkled in thought. �I can�t remember where I heard that.�
�Sounds like something cryptic Dumbledore would say.�
�Maybe.� <
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Should Have Been