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Before the world was made	By : Maeglin Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 2268 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Before the world was made
- 2-Part 2
- 1
- 2
It´s been four years since I spent that summer with Tom.

Four fucking years of loneliness. Fourteen hundred and sixty nights lying in my bed alone, trying to get some sleep while my conscious gets ripped apart by feelings of guilt.

Guilt for not revealing the things I know about Lord Voldemort that might aid our cause and save innocent lives. Guilt for fighting against Tom and his followers. Guilt for being too fucking scared to make a decision about what I really want and instead just going along with what other people believe is the right thing to do.

Four years since I last laid eyes on Tom, and here he is, standing right in front of me.

What was supposed to be a routine check up on a Muggle-born Wizard´s house unexpectedly turned into a miniature war when we encountered over a dozen Death Eaters at the scene.

While my fellow Aurors started to fight the Death Eaters outside, I slipped into the house to look for the Wizards we were supposed to protect. Without making a sound I moved through the darkness from room to room until I suddenly bumped into a tall figure.

Tom.

I stare into his green eyes for the first time in four years and so many thoughts rage through my mind. He looks good. A little more grey in his black hair and a few more small wrinkles around his eyes, but that is all that´s different since I last saw him.

He doesn´t seem so tall, now that I´m facing him as a twenty one year old man instead of a dog. He´s only an inch or so taller than me. There are so many things I want to say to him but I know it´s useless because he doesn´t have a clue who I am.

And I´m forgetting who he is. Tom raises his wand and points it at my chest. Without so much as a second glance the most deadly of curses falls from his lips.

"Avada Kedavra."

The green flash of light hits me in the chest, and pain that rips through me forces me to my knees. I look up and the last thing I see of Tom is his back as he disappears out off the house. I try to get my ragged breathing under control and suddenly I realize I should be dead. He cast the bloody Killing Curse on me. I pat my hands across my body to see if everything´s still there and then I feel it.

The little badge I keep on a golden chain around my neck. A strong concealment charm prevents others from ng ing it, since it would not do well if someone saw me with the Dark Mark on a necklace.

The protection spells. Of course.

Thank you, Tom, for saving my life while you tried to kill me.

After we have dealt with the remaining Death Eaters, I excuse myself and apparate to my apartment. I grab one of the many bottles of Fire Whiskey I keep around my place, don´t bother with a glass, and place it against my lips. I take a long swig and repeat the process several times.

When finally my throat burns so fiercely that my eyes begin to water, I sit down on my couch, and stare at the blank wall in front of me.

What the bloody hell just happened?

I see one glimpse of Tom and my world shatters to pieces around me. How can that man still have such an effect on me after four years? Why haven´t I just moved on? Why haven´t I found a nice young Wizard like Remus, or a nice young witch like Peter to share my life with? Why haven´t I gotten married and started a family like James and Lily?

Why am I waiting for something that is never going to happen unless I do something about it?

In a fit of frustration and rage I throw the bottle of Fire Whiskey against the wall, and watch how the glass flies across the room while the deep golden substance coats the white wallpaper.

Why haven´t I made a decision yet about what I want?

I stagger towards my bathroom, open the taps, and splash large amounts of cold water in my face. I rest my hands on the side of the sink, and look at myself in the mirror. A pair of tired looking blue eyes stare back at me. A two-day stubble graces my cheeks and chin, and my long, black hair looks more untamable than James´ ever has.

Is this what I want? A tiresome job as an Auror with only an empty apartment and a full bottle of Fire Whiskey to come home to?

No.

Then what do I want?

Tom.

Am I prepared to give up everything I know and betray the people who are my friends for him?

.....yes, I am.

Am I willing to give up my life as an Auror and join his fight against the free Wizarding world, just to be with him?

My gaze wanders to the reflection of the tiny golden badge around my neck.

Yes, I am.

I close my eyes while contrasting feelings of relief and fear swirl through me.

May Merlin forgive me for what I´m about to do.

****************************

"Well, well, well, Sirius Black, Auror Extraordinaire."

Of course it has to be Malfoy who finds me while I walk across the grounds towards Riddle Mansion.

"Lucius, long time no see. I´d like to have a word with your boss," I tell him in a cheerful tone while inside of me my stomach is doing flip-flops out of sheer anxiety. I keep my empty hands clearly visible as a sign that I don´t intend to curse him or anyone else. Malfoy gives me a quick look over, and sneers at me.

"What do you want, Black?" It´s funny how Malfoy can always make a person he speaks to feel like they are the filth beneath his boots, just by the tone of his voice.

"Like I said, Malfoy, I want a word with Voldemort. I have some information I think he might like to hear."

Lucius looks at me as if I´m an annoying insect bothering him on a sunny picnic. I give him my most charming grin. Malfoy sneers again.

"Your wand, Black."

"It´s in my left pocket, Malfoy. Be my guest," I tell him while I keep my empty hands away from my body.

With a wrinkle of his nose and an extremely disdainful expression on his face, Lucius slips his hand into the pocket of my robes, and feels around for my wand. Of course I wouldn´t be Sirius Black if I wouldn´t tease him a little.

"*That´s* not my wand, Malfoy."

"Oh, do shut up." Lucius pulls my wand out of my pocket, and tucks it into his own robes. He then grabs my arm none too gently, and practically drags me to the mansion.

"Let´s see what Lord Voldemort will make of an annoying, useless Gryffindor like yourself."

I open my mouth to let out a snappy response but my voice dies in my throat when I look up at the front doors of Riddle Mansion. Tom´s home.

Lucius leads me through the corridors to the ballroom, which is occupied by about a dozen Death Eaters and.....Tom.

I try not to look too frightened or expectant when Lucius leads me towards his Lord.

"A....visitor, my lord, who wishes to speak with you."

Tom let´s his eyes wander across my body, and when his gaze finds my eyes he furrows his brow.

"Didn´t I kill you?" His tone is demanding but at the same time inquisitive and even a little curious.

"Well, you tried," I say, forcing myself to meet his gaze and not turn my head down.

"Let me guess. You are so disappointed that I somehow failed to end your miserable life, that you have come here to beg me to do a better job at it the next time." The little wrinkles around his eyes become more apparent as an amused smile graces his face.

"Not really."

"Than what is it that you want?" His tone reveals his sudden irritation and he narrows his eyes. I swallow, blink, but still do not look down.

"I have some information for you. Three facts I think you might be interested in." I try to keep my voice steady and my hands from trembling. My heart races in my chest and I realize that this is the moment ruthruth. Either Tom is going to hear me out or he will try to kill me. Again.

"Really? And what is it that you want in exchange for these facts?"

"My intentions will become clear when I reveal the last fact."

Tom folds his hands behind his back, and circles me. I stand still and stare straight ahead, not meeting his glare but not looking away either.

"Very well. Tell me the first fact and I will decide if I want to hear the second and the third one." He stops in front of me, only inches away. I can smell him. I can even feel the warmth of his body. I try to not let those things distract me as I tell him the first bit of information.

"Severus Snape is a spy for Dumbledore."

"This is preposterous!" Snape´s voice echoes through the ballroom while he yanff hff his mask, and steps up to me. "Is this one of your petty attempts at my life yet again, Black? Or are you really that stupid to think you can just barge in here making accusations...."

"Be silent!"

Tom puts his hand on Snape´s shoulder, and pushes him away from me. "Contain him," he orders Lucius and Walden, who immediately raise their wands at Snape.

"I´m sure a little truth serum can clear things up, don´t you think, Severus?" Tom smiles, but it doesn´t reach his eyes. Those only stare at Snape intently.

Snape doesn´t say a wore gle glares at me but I ignore him and focus my attention on Tom, who is standing in front of me once again.

"That was a most interesting revelation. Go on."

I can´t help but briefly close my eyes. I´m so sorry, James.

"I know the location of the Potters." My voice is soft and trembles, and I fight the urge to close my eyes again.

Tom steps up to me even closer. "How is it that you know their location? Dumbledore keeps them well hidden."

"I´m their secret-keeper."

Tom´s lips curve into a genuine smile. "This is a very interesting development. What is your name?"

"Sirius Black." Not only my voice sounds unfamiliar, but my name as well. I guess it´s not surprising that you lose touch with who you are or thought you were the moment you sell your soul to the Devil himself.

"Well, Mr. Black. You have certainly gotten my attention. I´m most curious about the last fact."

"I think it would be best if I told you that in private."

Tom raises one eyebrow, tilts his head up, and looks down at me over his nose.

"Trust me."

Tom throws his head back, and let´s out a string of rich laughter. "Do forgive me, but I don´t trust you," he says with amusement in his voice when he looks at me again.

I know there is no way in hell I´ll ever win a staring match with Lord Voldemort so I go for something entirely different, and look at him with pleading eyes.

"By Salazar, I must be feeling awfully generous today. Mr. Black, follow me."

********************

After all this time I stand in his chambers again. It still looks and smells the same. It´s almost as if I´ve never left. As if the past four years didn´t happen. But I am well aware of one fairly big difference. I´m not here as Snuffles. I´m here as Sirius.

"Now that I have given you the privacy you requested, do tell me the third fact, Mr. Black."

Tom stands besides his desk, one hand on the wooden surface, and the other in the pocket of his robes, undoubtedly wrapped around his wand.

I move my hand up slowly, never taking my eyes off him. "I want to show you something." I sli han hand into my robes under my chin, and very carefully, not to make any sudden movement, pull out the golden necklace with Snuffles´ badge on it.

Tom recognizes it instantly, and his eyes widen for a moment, right before he narrows them and whips out his wand.

"What you you done to my dog?!"

Oh Merlin, he thinks I killed Snuffles and took his collar. Just a second before a hex leaves Tom´s lips I transform myself into Snuffles. The hex hits the door behind me, and Tom stares down at me, his mouth opened slightly while he lowers his wand.

"It can´t be..."

I bark once, and wag my tail as a way to say hello.

"You.....Snuffles....an Animagus. How terribly clever." Tom looks at me with a mixture of confusion, happiness and anger. A very frightening combination and I lower my head and tail to show him my submission.

"Transform back to your true self, Mr. Black."

I do as he wishes, and look at him for further instructions. Now that the big secret is out, it is entirely up to him how we will proceed from here.

"You must tell me, Mr. Black, how you found out that a dog would have a positive effect on me. Especially a large, black dog. I have never told anyone the story about the original Snuffles. Well, besides you, that is."

"I had no idea, I swear. I came here because I thought my Animagus form would provide me with cover while I spied on you and your people. This dog had been my Animagus form for over a year when I learned your true identity."

Tom´s curved brow informs me to go on with my side of the story. I happily do so, hoping that he will accept my explanations.

"I royally screwed up in my sixth year and somehow I thought that if I could provide Dumbledore with information about you, I could make up for it. I overheard him talking to another professor, and he revealed your name. After I read up on you I figured you´d be staying here. At the start of my summer holidays I came here, and three days later Lucius and Walden caught me. You know the rest of the story."

Tom looks thoughtful as he steps away from the desk, and approaches me. He stops in front of me, and looks at me with a furrowed brow. "And did you make up for it by sharing the things you learned here?"

"I...I never revealed anything after I returned to Hogwarts. Well, except for the fact that Snape was a Death Eater, but Dumbledore already knew that and threatened to take my wand if I told anyone about Snape´s work as a spy for him."

A small smile plays around Tom´s lips. "Why didn´t you reveal anything? Surely with the information you gathered during your stay here, you could have had Dumbledore crawling for you, kissing your feet."

"I didn´t want to betray you. I didn´t even want to leave you in the first place." My voice is soft and I inwardly curse myself when I feel my cheeks flush.

"Then why did you leave me?"

"I didn´t think I had any other choice. I was too afraid to reveal my true identity and I did not want to spend the rest of my life as a dog."

"Oh, but you make such a lovely dog." Tom´s tone is teasing and he smiles at me while he steps a little closer. "Why did you come back after all these years?"

"For four years I tried to tell myself that I could move on and forget about what happened here. But when I saw you again in that house, I knew I had been lying to myself. I just want to be with you, Tom."

My eyes widen the moment I realize I´ve used his first name. Voldemort is very particular about how people should address him, and I´ve seen him torture his followers for lesser offences.

Tom sees my fear and raises his hand. He trails his fingers across my cheek and stares into my eyes.

"Don´t worry about that. I remember telling you that if you were a human, you could call me Tom. And it appears that my wish has come true."

His touch is enticing and distracting and I have some problems understanding just exactly what he is saying. "Your....wish?"

Tom laughs shortly and smiles. "You make a lovely dog, but my true preferences do go out to handsome young men such as yourself. Howereseresting and pleasurable our private moments have been before, I would very much like to find out how you will perform in your human shape."

I can´t believe what I´m hearing. Tom still wants me. I find some courage in that confession and raise my hand so I can touch his cheek. I gasp when I feel his skin beneath my fingers. Tom places his hand on the back of my neck, and lets his fingers wander through my long, black hair. I can´t hold back any longer and wrap my arms around him while I bury my face in the crook of his neck.

"I´ve missed you so fucking much, Tom. You have no idea."

Tom wraps his arms around me by way of answering, and pulls me even closer while he strokes my back.

"And I have something else to confess," I whisper against his skin while I revel myself in the warmth of his body.

"And that is?"

"I´m a Gryffindor."

I feel Tom chuckle against me while he places one hand under my chin, and slowly raises my head. "I had figured that much already. Only a Gryffindor would come up with such a plan, go about it completely unprepared, and end up sleeping with the subject he´s supposed to be observing."

I grin at him while a blush spreads across my cheeks.

"You were quite young back then. Was it your first time?"

"No. Yes....as a human, no. But as a dog, yes." I let my fingers wander across his neck, and play with his short hair. I am curious about something, and after wondering for a moment, I decide that it would be best to just ask him. "Was it your first time...er..."

"With a dog? Yes, most certainly. It was not something that I had ever thought of before, but there just was this unmistakable attraction between Snuffles and me, don´t you agree?"

"Yeah, there was. I liked it....hell, I loved it, but I always thought about how it would be to do more...er...human things with you."

"Do tell." Tom´s voice has become deep and husky and his lips brush across my cheek. I open my mouth to breathe because all of a sudden it seems that my mind is going dizzy from lack of oxygen. Or from the fact that Tom´s so close to me right now. I can´t really tell.

"I´ve always wanted to kiss you." Somehow my own voice has also become quite low and harsh.

"Like so?" Tom brushes his lips ac min mine a few times, teasing me, daring me, until I can´t stand it any longer, and I crush my lips on his. I moan something that sounds like ´yes´ into our kiss while I run my tongue across his lips. I feel him smile when he opens his mouth, and at long last I feel his tongue against mine. I devour him, desperate to taste every bit of his mouth, his tongue and his lips.

While our tongues fight a rough but playful battle, I tighten one hand in his hair and use the other one to unbutton his robes. I´m desperate to feel his naked body against mine, to stroke my hands across his flesh. Tom keeps one hand on the back of my neck and uses his other one to practically tear my robes off. The sound of fabric ripping is the only noise in the room, besides to low moans of pleasure that escape us both.

My robes fall to the ground at the same moment Tom´s fall from his shoulders. The only thing that now stands between Tom´s naked chest and me, is a simple black shirt, quite similar to the one I´m wearing myself. Tom breaks the kiss, and pulls my shirt from my jeans and hoists it over my head. I copy his actions, and after a short moment we are staring at each other´s naked chests.

I attack one of his nipples, and suckle it into my mouth. Tom nibbles on my shoulder and I hear him whisper against my skin.

"Exquisite."

His harsh voice and his warm breath on my flesh makes me shiver with desire, and I raise my head to crush my lips on his mouth once more. He kisses me so hard and deep that it almost leaves me breathless, and my hands tremble when I unbutton his black trousers. The moment I´ve opened them, I push my hand inside, and find his hard cock. The feeling of his engorged flesh in my hand when I curl my fingers around it, forces a deep groan from me.

Tom has opened my jeans, and pushes them down until they are dangling around my ankles. He grabs my cock, and runs his fingers up and down the erect length. My eyes roll back into their sockets from the incredible feeling of his hands on my shaft, and I break the kiss to gasp for breath.

"Bed," Tom breathes against my cheek, and I realize that he´s as breathless as I am. It takes us only a few steps, our hands never leaving the other´s body, to reach the bed, and we both fall down on top of the cool sheets. I kick off my boots and Tom does the same to his shoes. We manage to get our pants untangled from our legs, and when those pieces of clothing hit the floor we are finally lying naked on the bed together.

I grind my cock against his thigh and gasp when I feel his erection caress my abdomen. Our mouths find each other again, and we resume our deep and rough kissing. When Tom wraps his legs around my waist and pulls me on top of him, I break the kiss and stare down into his eyes.

Surely he doesn´t want me to...

Tom sees the confusion on my face and gives me a soft kiss while presses his hips up, and pushes his arse against my cock.

I guess he does.

I reach for the nightstand, and blindly grab a vial of lubricant from the drawer, just as I´ve watched Tom do many times, all those years ago. I coat my trembling fingers with the slick substance, and reach down for his puckered entrance. My breathing is ragged against his face while I tease his opening and push one finger inside. Tom tightens both his hands in my long black hair and groans when I move my finger in and out of his body. I insert a second finger while I find his lips and my my tongue across them. Tom darts his tongue out, and I suck it into my mouth greedily.

The feeling of Tom´s naked body beneath my own is intense and my sense of touch seems to go in overdrive. His skin feels hot and cold at the same time, and everywhere my flesh touches his, sparkles of electricity swirl through me. I´m so wrapped up in this unique feeling that Tom startles me when he whispers into our kiss.

"Now."

I extract my fingers from his tight hole, and position my cock, slick with lubricant and pre-come. I push my hips forward, and groan when Tom´s hot body envelops my hard cock. I stay still, overwhelmed by the feeling of being buried inside his body completely. We continue to kiss, even though our lips feel raw from the rough touches, teeth scraping and nibbling on the other´s mouth.

"Move."

My body obeys Tom´s order before my mind ever gets a chance to register it. I trust forward, my eyes closed and my mouth still occupied with kissing Tomfeelfeel so much at once, so many things around me, surging though me. His arms and legs wrapped around my body, holding me tight. Sweaty skin, slick when it moves across each other. That hole which feels so impossibly hot and tight. His moans, his breath on my damp skin. My own uneven breathing, interrupted by deep sounds of pleasure that form in the base of my throat and force their way out.

And I know that this is what I wanted all along. This is what completes me, what arouses me and calms me. What fills that dark, empty space that´s been inside of me for so long. I don´t think about the life I left behind or the people whom I will betray, because for the first time in my life I feel like I´m home.

Tom´s body convulses beneath me, around me, when he climaxes and I feel his warm seed between us. My own orgasm is as fierce as it is intense and tightens every muscle in my body before it releases me into the bliss of ecstasy.

When I finally open my eyes again, I stare into Tom´s green ones. While I place soft kisses on his lips I roll off him, but never unwrap my arms from him. We pull each other close, and revel in the after glow in silence, words not necessary to express how we feel.

Just before sleep claims my exhausted body, my mind produces one last coherent thought.

I´m finally here, where I´ve wanted to be all along.

*************************

"Let it be perfectly clear that anyone who harms but a hair on the head of this man, will have to face my wrath!"

I stand next to Tom as he addresses his followers, and a strange feeling of deja vu passes through me.

"His name is Sirius Black, but you shall all address him as Mr. Black. He will be staying with me, and in case I´m unavailable, you will accept and carry out his orders."

I glance at Malfoy and Macnair, who stand to the side of Tom and keep their gazes fixed on the floor. The look on Lucius´ face however, tells me that he´s breaking his arrogant mind over how an annoying, useless Gryffindor like me could have possibly wrapped Voldemort around his finger overnight. The expression of sheer shock on his face earlier when Tom ordered him to give me back my wand, is something that I will cherish for a long time.

Tom and I have decided not to reveal my other identity to his followers, so they will just have to accept me for who I am. Sirius Black, Ex-Auror, friend and lover of Lord Voldemort.

"And now for some other news. With the assistance of Mr. Black we were able to identify the spy in our midst, and he has been punished suitably."

Oh yes. This morning I found out that poor Snape had no resistance for his own truth serum, and he was forced to confess everything. For the first time I admired Lucius´ knowledge of torture and was able to appreciate the art of it. It was quite satisfactory to hear Snape´s screams while Dumbledore was nowhere around to save his worthless hide. Tom sent Snape´s battered remains to the Headmaster of Hogwarts with a polite note attached:

Dumbledore,
Do not send any more spies unless you wto hto have them returned to you in this state. If you enjoy receiving their remains in bits and pieces, then by all means, send them my way. I do not have any problem with torturing your misled minions. As a matter of fact, I take great pleasure in hearing their screams of terror, and listen to them beg for their lives. Torture is an art I appreciate greatly and I go a long distance to make it worth wile. At least for me. I don´t think the same can be said for my victims, but one never knows. Perhaps Snape did enjoy the hot pokers in every cavity of his body. Alas, we shall never be able to check with him if my punishment for his betrayal was up to his expectations.
Yours truly,
Lord Voldemort

***************************

It´s been three hours since Tom left to kill my best friend and his wife. When I gave him the address, I asked for two favors. Tom instantly granted me the first one, and promised to make it quick and painless. He told me that he had to think about my second request, and would make a decision about it while he was there.

I pace around our room, feeling restless and useless. Tom forbid me to come. Said that it would not do me any good to see my best friend die. I still can´t believe I actually betrayed James. He´s always been a good friend. A brother I never had. But unfortunately he stood in the way of Tom and me, and I have chosen Tom.

I´m not even going to think about guilt or forgiveness because I know it won´t change a thing. I made my choice and I knew the consequences. I accepted them, painful as they might be.

I walk over to the liquor cabinet, take out a bottle of Fire Whiskey, decide that it would be proper to use a glass, and settle down in one of the chairs in front of the hearth. I´ve tried everything to keep myself calm yet occupied, but nothing has ed sed so far.

I´ve paced, I´ve stared, I´ve cursed, I´ve cried and I´ve even transformed myself into Snuffles, and lay under Tom´s desk for a while, for old time´s sake. But I fear that nothing will sooth me until Tom returns and I can finally close this particular painful chapter of my life and focus on my future with Tom.

I sip my Fire Whiskey and look up at the large, antique clock time and again. I will it to go faster, but I know it´s really no use. Patience, Black. A few more moments and it will all be over.

Finally, about a quarter past midnight, the door of roo room opens, and Tom enters. I´m on my feet instantly, and watch as he holds a little bundle to his chest and handles it with gentleness and care. I feel utterly relieved that Tom has granted me my second request.

"Sirius, come here. I have a present for you."

Oh yes, and what a present it is. The most precious thing I could ever wish for. I walk to Tom, stop besides him, and we both watch the sleeping child in his arms. I place my hand on his shoulder, and press a soft kiss on his cheek. Tom smiles, first at me, and then at the child in his arms.

"Here, you take him for a while." Tom hands me my godson, and I press him to my chest gently, overwhelmed with joy that Harry is still alive.

I look at my godson´s sleeping face and caress his cheek. "Don´t worry, Harry. Everything will be all right. We´ll take care of you from now on. No one will ever hurt you."

Tom watches me while I whisper my promises to my godson, no, our son, and starts to caress my back. I lean into the touch and enjoy the feeling of my lover by my side and our new son in my arms.

"Are you coming to bed, Sirius?" Tom asks while he steps back from me, sheds his robes, anngs ngs them in one of the closets. I look from Harry to Tom and back and wonder where I should let our son rest for the night. Tom spots my confusion, chuckles, and transfigures one of the chairs into a light blue crib.

"And there I thought you were the star in Transfiguration," he teases me, and I give him a cheeky grin.

"I guess we should do a little redecorating now that Harry will be staying with us, but that´s something to worry about tomorrow," Tom muses while he joins me at the crib. I place Harry in it, pull the little blanket across his body, and tuck him in. When I´m done and Harry is peacefully sleeping in his new bed, Tom puts his hand under my chin, turns my head towards his, and gives me a lingering kiss. I smile while I deepen it, and tease his tongue with mine. Tom wraps his arms around me, and pulls me close, his arousal evident against my thigh. We break the kiss, and just stare into each other´s eyes for a moment.

"Thank you, Tom," I whisper, not sure if I´m just thanking him for sparing Harry´s life, or for saving mine as well along the way.

Tom brushes his lips across my cheek, places soft kisses on my jawbone, and finally pulls back to look me in my eyes again.

"Anything for you, my dear friend."

~~fin~~
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Before the world was made