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Never Whole	By : razldazzl72 Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 6957 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 3

Draco tracked down his father, still in his study and still with his head in his hands. Draco’s eyes narrowed at his father.

‘What did you do father?‘ Draco‘s tone was accusing, his father looked up and met his eyes and then Draco knew what his father had done. ‘It wasn‘t your place to talk to him about this father, it’s none of your business, he probably thinks I put you up to it! How could you?’ Draco then stormed out in a flurry of robes and stalked back to the library.

When the doors slammed open, Harry looked up and his eyes met Draco’s for the first time in well, almost a year. Harry opened his mouth to speak since he saw that now Draco was upset. ’Lucius is on a roll today’ thought Harry. Harry closed his mouth deciding against saying anything to the blonde.

’Potter, Harry’ Draco started, no scathing tone evident, only sincerity. ’I’m sorry my father pulled himself into what is quite obviously my problem, I swear to you as a Malfoy I didn’t put him up to it.’ Harry held up his hand stopping Draco where he was.

’Number one Malfoy’ Harry spat the name ’you swearing on your name means nothing to me, secondly I know your father did it on his own accord so no need to explain. Now if you don’t mind I’m getting back to this research.’ Harry broke eye contact and went back to the book. Draco sighed, but at least Harry had spoken to him. That was at least a start. Draco went back over to his table. An hour went by before Lucius finally joined them, both young men shooting glares at him. He knew he’d been wrong, but he had to try.

A couple of hours passed and after they all had lunch Draco made a decision. He needed to talk to Harry. It was now or never. Draco went over to where Harry was and sat down quietly and waited until Harry looked up at him. ‘Harry, I, well, um, I feel like I, no, I know that I owe you an explanation for what happened. Will you?’ Draco was getting flustered at his inability to not stutter at this point. Closing his eyes to try and calm himself down, he opened them and set himself in pure determination. ’Will you hear me out so I can explain? I just need you to hear why I did what I did, if you never want to speak to me again, that’s fine, but please Harry, I need to explain it at least to you. I owe you that much.’ Draco got it all out with such sincerity. Harry thought about it for a few minutes before coming to a decision.

’You have ten minutes Malfoy, I will listen to what you have to say but don’t expect anything else from me. Is that understood?’ Harry said in a flat voice. Lucius sat at his table and inwardly smiled, it may not have been his place to get involved but at least now Harry would hear Draco out. Draco sighed and nodded his head.

’Yes, Harry I understand perfectly, ten minutes, and I do thank you for agreeing to hear me out.’ Draco said while clasping his hands together on the table and twiddling his thumbs. ’This isn’t easy for me but I’ll try and get everything out in the ten minutes.’ Breathing in deeply and exhaling, preparing himself for his confession, he started. ’I’m going to start by saying, I am so sorry I hurt you Harry, I had no right to do that, but at the time I felt it was for the best.’ Closing his eyes collecting himself, this was going to be more painful then he originally thought. He opened his eyes and looked directly into Harry’s ’I did it to hurt you, but it killed me to hurt you like that. I’ Draco stalled, closing his eyes and not daring to look at Harry. ’I was scared’ Draco then chanced a look at Harry who was still looking at him stony faced. Draco sighed again. ’I was scared because I was falling in love with you and I was scared because I didn’t feel like I deserved you. I still love you Harry and I am so sorry for how I acted when you came here, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared of how I felt a year ago, I still am scared of it, I can admit that now. Gods Harry I am so sorry I hurt you like that, please try and understand, it was too much too soon for me. It wasn’t your fault at all, you were perfect, everything I could ever hope for in a life partner, and I went and threw it away because I was scared.’ Draco had tears rolling down his cheeks unbidden. He didn’t care if Harry saw him cry. Harry’s eyes softened slightly at the end of the confession. He knew that kind of pain.

’Why didn’t you just talk to me instead of just ripping me apart like that then? Do you realize with what you did you have frozen my heart? I can never love anyone again.’ Harry was calm, but the pain flared in his eyes. ’All you had to do was me, me, we could have separated for a while, maybe forever, but I would have been able to love again that way, even you I would have been able to love. But because of how you decided this needed to be done, you’ve scarred me for life.’ Harry got up and fled the room having no idea where he was going only that he needed to get out of the house.

A few hours later and Harry was in the stables combing one of the stallions that was there. He’d found it quite therapeutic and was feeling better. He still hurt but he was working out the aggressions by combing and washing horses. This was how Lucius found him.

’Harry dinner’s in an hour’ he spoke softly to Harry not sure where he stood with the young man. Harry just nodded his acknowledgment and carried on with the horse. Lucius sighed and left the stables. He knew now he would get no where with Harry, he’d have to try with Draco.

Harry made it in just before dinner. He’d said nothing since his tiff with Draco and he was happy that way. Draco looked at him longingly. ’This is it’ though Lucius. I need to give them both Veritaserum and lock them in a room overnight. His mind set he’s getting in touch with Severus and gets the potion from him after he explained the situation to him.

Dinner was a long-suffering affair for everyone there. When it was finally over Lucius made his way to his study and Harry went to the library to research some more. He contacted Severus who floo’d over immediately and Lucius explained the whole situation and by the end Snape was nearly rolling on the floor laughing in hysterics.

’They are both too stubborn for their own good. But I will assist.’ Severus chuckled after he’d calmed down slightly and pulled the vial from his robes and handed it to Lucius. ’Three drops in a glass of water or pumpkin juice should be plenty for the night they are both pretty small still. Have a good night my friend.’ The Potion’s master left in a flurry of robes and floo powder.

Lucius sent a house-elf to get the boys about nine that evening figuring everyone could do with a break from what they were doing. He sent another elf to get a room ready for the boys. One of the more posh guests rooms.

When the boys arrived, there was just as much hostility from Harry as earlier. Lucius had them both sit down and gave them each a glass of pumpkin juice and a scone.

’Now I wanted to find out how the research is going, we haven’t sat and talked since we started and I’d like to know what we’ve all found out so far.’ Lucius needed to make sure they drank the juice since it was laced. Like a charm both boys took a drink to avoid talking for as long as possible and wound up drinking the whole thing in one gulp each. Lucius inwardly smiled, now he just had to wait for about three to five minutes and the potion would be working. Just for good measure Lucius had put in four drops of the potion just to make sure it lasted long enough to keep them telling the truth throughout the night and maybe longer.

Lucius knew Harry wasn’t going to make it easy for Draco to get back into his good graces, he had a lot of groveling to do and he knew Draco was more then willing to grovel if it meant getting Harry back. Sure Malfoy’s were prideful but when it came down to it they were not beyond begging when the situation called for it and Lucius knew Draco felt this situation was well worth it. He loved the raven-haired boy with all is heart and it took losing him for him to realize it. Lucius had been thrilled when he’d heard that the Gryffindor golden boy had treated his son well, he couldn’t ask for more then that.

Lucius stood up from where he leaned up against his desk and had the boys follow him since they still weren’t talking. They both felt slightly dizzy but they thought it was from the stress not the potion they’d been slipped. They followed the elder Malfoy without question through the halls of the Manor. Lucius led them to the guest room and told them to go in ahead of him, they did and he stood in the doorway with an evil grin on his face. Draco and Harry just looked worriedly at each other then Lucius spoke again.

’You two will not be leaving this room until you’ve talked everything over. You don’t have to make up but I want you two to understand exactly where the other stands.’ Lucius began to close the door as the boys looked at him shocked. ’Oh and just so you’re aware, I spiked your juice with Veritaserum, you have to tell the truth now. Good evening gentlemen I’ll see you both at breakfast.’ With that Lucius closed the door and put up more wads then they’d be able to break through if they had a year to do so.

’Well this is just wonderful.’ Harry turned on Draco seething mad. ’Your father is meddling where he doesn’t need to meddle. I’d forgive you eventually, but what you did really hurt me.’ Harry’s eyes grew wide when he realized what he’d just said. Harry turned and stalked over to the bed and threw himself on there with a very undignified flop while mumbling about sadistic bastards. Draco couldn’t help but giggle. He’d felt a million times better then he had since the break up when Harry admitted he’d forgive him eventually.

Draco made his way over to the bed and sat down elegantly.

’I truly am sorry for what I did Harry. There aren’t enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I was wrong, so utterly and terribly wrong to do what I did.’ Draco’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. ’Please try and understand how I felt. I am by no means excusing what I did, and I should have talked to you instead of setting you up like that. It was so horrible, I can’t even imagine what you went through when I did that to you. More then what I went through when you returned my gift I’m sure.’ A tear broke free and tracked down Draco’s face. Harry’s eyes also started to tear up remembering what he’d felt when he’d seen Draco making out with someone else. ’I know I have a lot of groveling to do and I am more then willing to do as much as you see fit even if it means we are just friends. I wronged you so horribly I can’t even begin to apologize correctly.’ Draco now looked deeply into Harry’s eyes. He saw Harry’s resolve breaking. Harry rolled over onto his side away from Draco before he spoke. ook ook a deep breath and closed his eyes.

’I don’t know if I can forgive you yet Draco.’ Harry’s voice was low but firm. ‘You ripped my heart out that night then when I got here there was such hatred in your voice.’ Harry stopped taking another deep breath. ‘That was the night I resigned myself to the fact you hated me, we can’t just go back. I’m not even sure I can’ be a friend to you right now. Maybe in a few months, but right now everything, I just feel raw.’ Draco couldn’t see it but Harry had tears rolling down his face and into the pillow beneath. ‘I was alone, I needed you and you destroyed what we had. Hermione doesn’t even talk to me anymore, blames me for Ron’s death.’ Harry got up from the bed, tears be damned. ‘I needed you and you threw me away Draco, I don’t know if I can ever truly be with you again after that, what’s to say you won’t do that again when things get scary for you? There is no way I can put myself out like that again. Maybe later but right now, no.’ Harry then turned and went into the bathroom and secured the bed leaving a heart broken Draco to stare after him.

Draco made a promise right then and there. He went to the bathroom and knocked lightly before he spoke confidently.

‘Harry, I swear on everything I have within myself and my home that I will make it right and better for you again. You don’t believe this now but I do love you. I won’t say I’ll make you love me again because that is totally up to you, but I do promise to make it up to you. Everything, I will never ever leave your side again. I know that’s hard to believe coming from me considering what I’ve done, but believe me when I say I will do everything within my power to make it up to you and make you happy again. Even if that means giving you up. I love you and I want you happy, I don’t care about myself anymore, really I don’t. Just give me a chance to start making it up to you Harry, please.’ Draco begged, he’d slowly slid down the doorframe he was leaning against during his rant. He’d been heartbroken by the pain in Harry’s eyes, and he’d do everything in his power to never see it again.

After about twenty minutes the door opened slowly to reveal a very tired looking Harry. He looked well over his eighteen years old.

‘I will allow you to start making it up to me, but you’d better be good, one wrong move and I go forever and never come back. Am I understood?’ Harry said in a voice much more firm and confident then he felt. Draco nodded enthusiastically, he’d do anything for Harry. Harry sighed and let a very small smile play on his lips. ‘Good the first thing you can do is hold me tonight. I’ve not had a decent night’s sleep since that night.’ Harry had a brief pained look that crossed his face. Draco smiled at him and lightly grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him to the bed slowly. Draco gently pulled off Harry’s robes to reveal a comfortable pair of pants and button down shirt. Draco undid the first button on the shirt just to make it more comfortable for Harry then sat Harry down on the bed and removed Harry’s shoes and socks for him. Draco then repeated the process for his own clothes, meanwhile Harry moved to the center of the bed. Looking down at Harry, Draco could see just how exhausted his lover was. Laying down on the bed Draco open his arms to the young man on the bed with him. With a smile the young lad spoke to his hopefully soon to be again lover.

‘Come here, Harry. I’ll keep you safe from your dreams. Let me take care of you.’ Harry scooted over and buried his head in Draco’s neck and was almost totally asleep due to exhaustion. Draco wrapped his arms possessively around his love.

‘I never stopped loving you, you know, but I’m still mad at you.’ Harry mumbled before drifting off totally to sleep. Draco smiled slightly and kissed the Gryffindor on the top of his head and followed Harry into peaceful dreams.
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Never Whole