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Does Money Buy Love?	By : Abremaline Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 7126 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Title:< Does Money Buy Love?

Series:
Part 2/?

Author:
Abremaline

Pairing:
Harry/Draco

Length: 1640

Rating:
R (for references and later chapters)

Disclaimer: Based on Characters and
situations created by J.K. Rowling.

Summary: This series is just me having a little bit of fun. An argument taken to extremes, �So what? I
should marry you then?� and some inventive new uses for body chocolate.

Does
Money Buy Love?

Dear Self,

This is a really stupid
idea. I can�t believe I�m writing to MYSELF. Seriously? A diary? I knew Malfoy
was girlish but this is ridiculous. �It�s a journal not a Diary and it�s so
that I can prove to you later that you are liking me
more than you used to.� What a tosser. He�s really
convinced that a lack of money worries will cause us to fall in love. Well I�m not wasting good ink on this stupidity. I�m using the body chocolate, not like we�re going to run
out of that anytime soon!

It took all day yesterday to pack all the
damn things away. Had to do it manually
because the charm to get them to pack themselves away just kept flinging the
jars at Malfoy, which was fine until he hit me with the �Pleasurably Exploding
Cherries.� Not very pleasurable when you�re hit with
about fifty boxes of the damn things. My legs are still red. I�m
waiting to see what side effect they are going to have, they were a gift from
Fred and George after all�who knows what nasty repercussions they�re going
have. I guess I�m going to find out. Luckily while I�m suffering whatever it is I�m going to be
suffering I should at least have some entertainment. Malfoy is eating the bloody things. Dipping
them in body chocolate and eating them. Idiot!

They ran the story of our marriage in The
Prophet, so more of the bloody stuff came today. We have no cupboard space for anything
but �Never Emptying Body Chocolate,� �Pleasurably Exploding Cherries� and �Bending
Dildoes.�

I like the Dildoes, I do, especially the
prostate stimulating kind. But even the greatest
sex-a-holic would have difficulty finding uses for
this many of the bloody things. Can�t even use them as
quills, I tried. It writes too thick.

I can see Malfoy on the other side of the
room here, writing his �Journal.� Personally, I think he�s
losing it (if he ever had it), he spent the morning in the bedroom flinging
spells at the naked lady portrait screaming at her �I will not procreate!�

Oh Shit! I think I just found out what the cherries do.

Harry.

***

Married to Potter � Day Two.

Well, our first day of wedlock was spent in the traditional way - playing with sex toys. I
wish I could say it was as fun as I had been led to
believe. Unfortunately though, one of the jars
thwacked me on the back of my head and Potter refused to heal it. It still
hurts and because of its location I am unable to heal
it myself.

Potter is still being quite silly about the
marriage thing, he is still insisting that it is all
about love, not money. I haven�t the heart to tell him
just how many Malfoy�s based their love on their mutual love money. The man has
no true respect for finances. He thinks he does because he doesn�t spend, but then he turns around
and acquires lovers such as the Hufflepuff and spends his fortune on them
instead. He has access to my vaults now that we are wed, if that Hufflepuff
loser thinks he�s getting anywhere near my money he�s
got another thing coming.

His head appeared in the fireplace today
while Potter was in the bathroom, removing cherry stains from his skin. I told
him Potter was sulking because all his finances had been
frozen permanently. I have never seen a Hufflepuff�s
head disappear from anywhere so quickly. It was most amusing.

On a different issue
I�ve not yet found a hex or curse to remove the naked lady portraits from the
bedrooms. They truly are tacky, one of them keeps
insisting that we could have marvellous looking children. Oh
yes, because clearly she is the ultimate image of sanity to counter the
craziness of my own genetics. I have sent an elf from the Manor (Potter wont
allow the use of them where he lives, something about slavery) on a hunt to
acquire a muggle product called �turpentine�. Potter
assures me that it will at least injure the women.

Speaking of Potter I must say he looks
truly �fuckable� rubbing his groin like that. I wonder
if he realizes that he is doing it? Doubtful.
He is writing in the body chocolate, not sure I really
like that, the writing will smudge and Potter�s hand writing is barely legible
at the best of times. This will make it very difficult for me to read later on
when he�s not paying attention. Oh, he�s just noticed
that he has been stroking himself, he�s running to bathroom now yelling
something about cherries and Weasley�s�..Oh Shit!

Draco Malfoy.

***

Draco stood outside of the only bathroom
waiting for Potter to be finished. He refused to �solve the problem� anywhere near those portraits, they were, quite frankly � obsessed, and seeing this would only make
them worse. The problem now of course was that Potter had not shut the door
when he had run in there. So that Draco (already quite
aroused from having eaten so many of the �Pleasurably Exploding Cherries�) was in an ever increasing amount of pain. Nor, was there any sign
of bathroom availability in the near future, as it would seem the accumulative
effects of having been hit with so many cherries - and having eaten them for
breakfast two mornings running - was allowing for Potter to experience what
Draco liked to call �The Ever Recurring
Hard-On.� It was quite erotic to watch and was causing Draco to experience
something similar � only without any �hands on� needed. (Though this may have also been caused by the inordinate amount of
chocolate he had been mixing with the cherries, as this also had
certain�stimulating qualities.)

�Potter.� Draco breathed as he gave up on propriety, and rid himself of his
pants. They were his favourites and he didn�t want
them completely ruined. �We aren�t going to get anywhere like this.�

�Malfoy!� Potter snapped, turning to face the other. �What the hell are you
doing watching me? That is just�� his voice trailed off as he noticed Draco�s
own erection. �OH Shit! I did not need to see that. Get the hell�..� Whatever
else Potter had been going to say was lost as the man descended into barely
coherent screams that seemed to resemble swear words.

Draco�s last thought before joining him yet
another dose of cherry/chocolate induced bliss was, �I�m married to a screamer. How incredibly � fucking � hot.� This
thought being slightly disjointed due to the intense
pleasure coursing through him at the time.

***

Several hours later, (or so it felt, though
in reality it was really only two hours) Harry Potter stood leaning against the
yellow and purple bathroom wall in desperate need of water but not yet entirely
sure he could move to get it. When he could move he had decided that he would
be getting revenge. First the Weasley twins - Harry
wasn�t entirely sure what he was going to do to them, but when he was more
capable he would think of something good and painful. Mostly
painful.

Secondly would be Malfoy. What kind of a
person walks in on another when they are in the bathroom? It was
perverted in Harry�s opinion. He absolutely did not appreciate Malfoy�s
obvious appreciation, or his attempts to �help.�

�It will stop it from coming back again if
we help each other on this. The cherries are designed to be a two person activity. Merlin only knows how long we�ll be at
it if keep trying to get rid of it on our own.�

�Unreasonable.� Had been the blonde�s reply when Harry had told him to �Stay the hell
away from my dick!�

He was still shaking his head at that.
�Unreasonable?� he asked the yellow and purple walls. �I have a right to expect
people to stay away from my cherry caused erection.� He sighed angrily.

�I do think you were being rather
unreasonable.� Replied a small portrait of an elderly
professor that hung above the towel rail. �You really were incredible to watch. I was
concerned that I may have needed your assistance myself at one point.�

�What the fuck is with all the portraits?
Who the hell puts a painting in a bathroom?�

�Very strange woman � Red hair, green
clothes, looked a bit like Christmas tree actually. Not nearly as good looking
as you are � I was very concerned when I first saw her. Especially when I
realised I was to be placed in the bathroom.�

�I can�t take any more of this. Damn
talking paintings.� Harry tried to push himself away from the wall hoping to
leave the room in favour of a portrait free one. (if there were any.) He failed
though because just as he had begun to move he was confronted
with a � once again dressed � Draco Malfoy. He had apparently come to bring
Harry water, a thought he might have appreciated more if he had not still been
entirely naked at the time. �Get out!�

�Potter, we�re married. I�ve
just watched you toss, several times over. There is nothing here�� Malfoy made
a sweeping gesture in Harry�s direction, �That I haven�t seen now. Take the
water. I imagine you need after all that screaming.�

Harry took the water, (mostly just because
he feared dehydration if he didn�t take it) and made a
mental note to amend his �Journal� to read; �Not just a tosser � a nine inch
tosser!� Five minutes later, this was completely forgotten when he noticed his
towel. �Malfoy. What is that writing flashing on my
towel?�

�My mother did it.�

Better
a rich man�s darling, than a poor man�s slave.

�It changes.�

Marrying that Hufflepuff? You would have been a pauper within the month!

References

Better
a rich man�s darling, than a poor man�s slave � No idea who said this, if you know who was please tell me. Again, Google had no idea, but I found it in a book of quotes so I know someone said it�just not who.

Body Chocolates and Bending Dildos (Prostate Stimulators) � Available at all indecent sex stores.

Turpentine
� Available at extremely boring average hardware
stores, paint places, supermarkets�.hell maybe even at some of the kinkier sex
stores.

Does
Money Buy Love � Concept from; �Money Can�t Buy You Love� � Still by �The Beatles.�
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Does Money Buy Love?