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Complicated Romance	By : freakenbree Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 6515 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Title: Complicated Romance
Author: Brianna (Bree)
Pairing: Severus Snape / Harry Potter
Rating: Eventually NC-17
Summary: Teacher student relationships were a rare occurrence at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but not unknown. What happens in the time of death, love and most of all, companionship? Will Harry find someone just as lonely as he and will they bring a new meaning to love? Who better for the position than Severus Snape? But with what complication will this love come?

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Previous Chapter: The class ended with the ring of the bell and Severus brought his eyes to the class that was slowly beginning to move out of the cold dungeons. �Mr. Potter, I will expect you here at five o�clock sharp to serve your detention.� Potter looked up from his books and slowly nodded his head, his eyes sending a glare at Severus.

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Chapter Two: Cut Me Deep

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Harry really didn�t feel like attending detention that night. After potions, he had to go to three other classes where he felt completely lethargic in for most of the time in the class. His head was spinning and he had a headache that pained him to move. He just would rather stay in his room for the day and keep to himself.

He looked up from gazing at his hands to the clock on the far wall. It read 4:45 p.m. which was not a good thing, since his detention was at five o�clock sharp. He rose from his bed, putting his shoes back on and, gathering his wand on the counter top he had set it on earlier, pocketed it. He could hear the soft chatter from the common room and knew that everyone was sitting happily by the fire, while he had to go attend a detention with the most hated professor at Hogwarts.

He walked down the stairs, taking his time with each step and moving at a pace that satisfied him. He never brought his eyes from the floor, in fear of seeing someone and being forced to talk with a headache the size of Jupiter. He would rather suffer the pain of the headache later than sooner.

�Harry, sorry about today.� It was Neville�s voice. He was whispering, a blush forming on his cheeks as he watched Harry move with slug-pace steps.

�Don�t worry, Neville.� Harry looked up and sent the boy a reassuring smile. He didn�t blame Neville. He knew that he could have moved instead of watching with wide eyes at the potion falling towards him. He didn�t want to use his reflexes, maybe because he wanted to be hurt, to feel pain again to match the inside pain. He felt his stomach turn at this thought.

Rushing from the common room, Harry hid the tears forming in his eyes. He wanted to die and that was the reason he stared stupidly at the falling potion. He wanted to feel pain and suffer, to go back to the place where Sirius was. He wanted to be with his beloved godfather. He welcomed death.

---

Harry felt the razor slice an even line through the thick of his skin. The blood rushed to the area and coursed down the length of his arm. His eyes were closed as he leaned against the wall of the Myrtle�s bathroom. The blood, its crimson mass, fell from his arm to the floor. Every drop of blood sufficed for an ounce of the pain on the inside, throwing him into a relaxed state.

He had ditched the detention, running to this bathroom to get rid of the pain echoing on the inside. He wanted to disappear, to remove himself from the world in a pool of blood. The blood was his refuge from the pain. Its physical appearance and arrival made him sigh in relief. When he had the pain in his arm to focus on, the pain in his memories would subside until another time. He loved the way it felt to be free from the worries of the past, to dwell in the worries of now.

He felt weak, sliding down the wall as the blood rushed from the abrasion in his arm. He slid the razor down his skin once more, causing another lesion to appear with a thin line of red. The red soon grew with dark crimson blood that began to fall from the arm as though alive. His head spun in dimming circles as his body became alarmed by the loss of blood.

He was slowly losing himself in the rush of essence as blood pooled on the tile, growing in mass with each passing minute. He was losing the battle as the wounds were too deep to heal themselves and he was making no attempt at receiving help. He simply laid there, worries lost from his mind and his breathing deep. He could feel his life slowly losing its vigor as his body tried to compensate for the loss of blood.

As blackness swirled around his vision, impairing it and making it hard to stay awake, he could hear a distant voice from somewhere in the black. �POTTER!�

---

Severus had grown impatient, waiting for the boy for an hour. His anger had reached its peak as he looked at the clock. Of course the Golden Boy sees himself above detention.

He stood, finally making the decision to look for Potter, though he would never do something this extreme for any other student. He realized just as he was walking that he would need a certain map to allow him the knowledge of where Potter was. He went to his desk on the other side of the room, taking out the parchment that was stored beneath a pile of papers. He whispered the words to reveal the map and watched as the school was mapped out before his very eyes. He noticed the odd occurrence of Potter in a bathroom and more so, the girl�s lavatory. He rushed off to the girl�s lavatory usually deserted due to Myrtle, the ghost that kept to the area.

When he entered the door, his eyes widened at the amount of blood pooling and streaming over the floor. His heart skipped when he looked up to see Potter on the wall with two deep gashes in his arm. His eyes were closed and his body completely limp. His paling lips were parted as deep, strained breaths were taken from his mouth.

The amount of blood that stained the floor was unbelievable. Severus felt his knees weaken at the sight, but before he made any move he screamed out, �POTTER!� He rushed to the boy�s side, taking no time to examine him before disappearing with a �pop� and reappearing in the infirmary with another �pop.� He quickly laid the boy on the bed, �POMFREY, GET IN HERE NOW!�

The medi-witch was at his side within seconds, her gasp echoing in his ear. �My dear Merlin�� She was already at the boy�s side, her wand pointed and a potion in her hand. She leaned over and quickly tried to make Harry swallow the whole solution. She pointed her wand at the gashes and began to mend them as quickly as she could. Her eyes finally looked up after a half-an-hour of mending and distributing potions for Harry to drink.

�What happened, Severus?�

�I haven�t a clue.� Severus looked over at the boy now resting in the infirmary bed for the second time that week. He noticed that the boy was now finally relaxing into exhaustion and his wounds healing with the potions given. He brought his eyes back to Poppy who stood over the boy, examining the gashes.

�He did this to himself, Severus. Why?� She wasn�t really talking to Severus anymore, more so to herself. She was beginning to feel the frustration of the situation. Why would the boy want so much for death to hit him? What was aching at his heart to make him want to make it all disappear?

Severus, however, wasn�t won over. He felt it was completely selfish of the boy to try to take his own life. After all that he has been given, just to throw it away with the last breath? How could the boy be so selfish? Severus watched Potter with emotionless eyes, knowing full well that he would have to talk to Dumbledore soon about what was happening. He hated the idea of having to talk to the old coot twice that week and both times about the boy he most despised.

Madam Pomfrey left without another word, having to attend to a boy who was bitten by a Dusk-delight toad in the hallway. She was in a hurry to get all of the patients out the door. Severus was left to watch over Harry for the time being. He grumbled when she left and sat down with a sigh near the bed.

Why did he always have to watch over the boy like some kind of babysitter? It was annoying to have to attend to the needs of someone whom just tried to take their life. Why not let the boy have it his way and die off; although, he was the one that brought Potter to the infirmary and he was the one who called for Madam Pomfrey to help him. He growled inwardly at the thought of helping the Golden Boy for the second time this week.

With the sound of a creaking door, Dumbledore walked in, his eyes casted over to Harry who was now bandaged with a long white material over the gashes in his arm. Dumbledore walked over to the side of Severus, who was casting his eyes out the window.

�Madam Pomfrey told me all that happened when Harry got here and now I would like to know where you found the boy.� His eyes carried no sign of a smile and his face was saddened for the second time this week due to the condition of Harry.

�I found the boy in the girl�s lavatory and brought him here, nothing more.� Dumbledore nodded his head before continuing what he had come to say.

�Severus, the holidays are going to come up soon and Harry will be staying at Hogwarts due to the last occurrence with his family on Privet Drive. I do not wish that Harry be left alone in the Gryffindor tower and I have not yet any place for him.�

Severus knew exactly where this conversation was going and he would not be manipulated into allowing the boy stay with him in his private quarters.

�No, I refuse.�

�Severus.�

�No, you will not manipulate me this time. I simply will not allow the boy to stay with me.�

�Severus.�

�No, Albus. I will NOT deal with his selfishness.�

�He is hardly selfish, my boy. He is like ever teenager, but with the responsibilities of an adult. I want him to enjoy his holiday.� The twinkle in his eyes was back and that angered Severus even more than he had been.

�And what makes you believe he would enjoy his holidays if he is forced to stay with his most hated potion�s professor?� Severus was standing, his hands firmly clasped into fists at his side.

�Severus, calm down. Harry will have a wonderful time with you. Besides, I believe that you and Harry would enjoy each other�s company.� Dumbledore was calmly sitting in his chair, his hands resting atop the desk as they had been prior to the start of the conversation.

�Enjoy?! What an idea that is! Potter would be cutting slashes in his arm right from left if he was staying with me over the holiday. You would only be making it worse for the boy by sending him off to his most feared professor.�

�Severus, you have saved his life twice. I do not believe that Harry would be so blind as to not want to thank you properly for that. You have showed caring for hi-,� Severus held up his hand as he stopped the other from further talking.

�I do not, NOT care for that boy. I was simply doing my duty as his teacher.� Severus was once again sitting in the chair, his eyes emotionless as well as his body.

�Ah,� Dumbledore smiled gently, �Then it can�t be helped. I�ll just have to send him back to his family. I cannot have the boy trying to commit suicide while he is here and if he is with his family, then he will at least be watched. I�ll make sure to have someone check up on him once and a while to see that he is not being hurt.� Dumbledore sat back, taking a slight sip of his tea.

Severus glared at the man, sighing out. �Fine, I will take the boy into my quarters. But Albus, if he so much as makes a move to test my boundaries, I will expect you to ship him off to another person to be watched over.�

Dumbledore smiled, the twinkle in his eyes brightly shining, causing Severus to curse beneath his breath. This was not the way he wanted to have his holiday turn out. He didn�t want to have to deal with the Golden Boy during his time off. He finished his tea in silence and left the headmaster�s office without another word.

---

Harry arrived in the dungeons at promptly five o�clock when the headmaster had said to be there. He was still a little worried about serving detention with Snape, but decided it was best this way. He had been told to bring his things from the tower.

He had just gotten back from saying goodbye to Ron and Hermione. He was extremely thankful to Dumbledore for allowing him to stay at Hogwarts over the holiday. He couldn�t help but smile; but when the headmaster had said there was one condition; his smile lost some of its happiness. He had been told that he would be serving detention with Snape that night at five and not to be late. Also, he had to bring his items from the Gryffindor Tower.

�Ah, Mr. Potter. Good to see that you decided to show up this time and not make a detour to the girl�s lavatory.� The words were cold and malicious as they had always been, but today they cut Harry deep, especially knowing that it had been the second time that Snape had saved his life. He dropped his eyes, not making eye contact with Snape until he heard stones reforming in the corner. He looked up from where he had been glancing and noticed a door had formed in the wall.

�Sir? What are you doing?� Harry looked at Snape with his eyebrow cocked slightly, noticing the older man walking in through a door that Harry assumed led to his private quarters.

�Taking you to where you will stay for the next two weeks of holiday.� Severus walked through the door leaving Potter to his thoughts.

Harry let out a slight sigh and followed the greasy-git through the door and into his private chambers.

The dark room was slowly gathering light from a far off window, residing in the far northeast corner of the enormously big living area. The bookshelves that were filled to the brim with overcrowding books, sat at all walls of the room, gathering dust. There was a great fire-hearth at the southern part of the room, the fire blazing with violent vigor in the greatly enclosed space. To the front of the fire, covered in eerie shadows, sat an ancient couch covered in the finest velvet material that was soft to the touch.

Harry turned slightly, looking at the hidden corners of the room, a desk perched at the side, and even a cauldron that sat untouched near the fireplace. Why Snape chose to keep it, Harry had no idea. The cauldron looked quite an ancient piece, along with the many items contained within the extravagant room he was now just witnessing. To think that he might be one of the only students, aside from Malfoy, who had seen the room made him feel a bit privileged.

He, however, was still upset by the idea that he would be spending his holiday with Snape. On the other hand, Snape had saved his life too many times to count and he was taking him in, even though Harry knew he was forced to, the reason unknown.

�You will be staying on the couch. I will transfigure it into a bed when you are ready to sleep.� Severus turned away from the boy, walking over to another door located at the northwest part of the living area. �This door leads into my private chambers,� he walked to the door next to the one he was prior, �and this door leads into the lavatory.� He walked over to where Potter was standing, waiting for some form of understanding.

Harry looked up, nodding his head slightly and walking over to the couch, placing his belongings on the floor and gazing into the fire. What he held in his hands was the most of his belongings, since Vernon had an obsession of burning any of his most prized possessions. The things he burned were ones that Harry regretted showing caring for. The picture of his parents had been the first to burn in the flames of Vernon�s hatred. Harry had cried the whole summer over the loss of the picture that he still held close to his heart.

Severus watched the boy, knowing nothing of what to do after having Potter in his quarters. He assumed that at some point he would be forced to talk to him, since Potter would probably annoyingly ask questions. To his surprise, Potter stayed quiet the whole time. The boy�s eyes were unfocused when they stared into the flames and his position was held the entire time he sat on the couch. Severus could simply not believe that Potter was so quiet. He had expected the boy to be screaming that he didn�t want to stay there and ask a great amount of questions concerning the reasons that Severus had saved him, etc. But Potter continued to be quiet.

Finally, after ten minutes of silence, Severus brought himself to speak. �Why did you cut yourself, Potter?� He didn�t want to get the boy upset�wait, since when did he care if Potter was upset? He shook off the thoughts, figuring that they were for another time.

Harry shrugged, not intending on answering the question. He really didn�t feel like talking about the empty feelings, especially to someone who hated him so completely. Harry found himself suddenly stricken with guilt. Why had he hated Snape for all these years without a thought? Why had he made no attempt at getting to know the man? He looked up, deciding that he would make an attempt during the holiday to get to know Snape. He owed that much to the man that had saved him countless times.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose out of frustration, �As always, your incompetence shows high-rise over all of your other methods of communication. Why had I believed you would truly answer me with the slightest showing of some form of intelligence? To think that I would expect so much from the-Boy-Who-Lived,� he said, feeling the headache coming from the anger.

Harry watched Snape for a moment, before looking down again. �Sir, why did you save me in the bathroom? I know that you could have just left me when I was there. Don�t you hate me?�

Severus was all but tempted to reply with a simple yes, but unfortunately, he no longer felt that way. When he had found out about the way the boy was abused, it had triggered something in his mind and therefore triggering his heart. He felt sympathy edge its way through the black heart that never showed emotion. He had felt for the boy, the way he felt for a person he cared for long ago. He wanted to be a comfort for Potter, even though he despised him. He didn�t want to acknowledge the fact that he was worried when he found Potter soaking in his own blood; he didn�t want to acknowledge the fact that he couldn�t sleep that night when Potter was in the infirmary; he didn�t want to acknowledge the fact that he wanted Potter there, at this moment.

Severus watched Potter for a while, considering the question. Did he really have an answer? He used to justify his anger and hatred with the idea that Harry was just like his father, but now he could only see Lily in the boy. Lily had been someone he had admired in his teenage years. Her strength and charisma were ones to be envied. To be honest, what made Severus most admire her, was the fact that no matter what the case, she cared for each person she encountered. Potter was much the same way. Of course, Severus had never really been on the receiving end of the worry and caring, but he had seen it. Every day that the boy grew, was every day that Severus saw more and more Lily in him. So really, he could no longer justify his hatred.

The boy had been born into the fame, whether Severus acknowledged it or not. Potter had not chosen to be famous, nor did he ever use the power to get things that usually he would not get if he had been a normal wizard. Instead, he had used his fame for the good of others. Severus snorted slightly, realizing where his train of thought had led him. He was ranting about all the good of Potter when he should be angry with the boy.

The fact of the matter was, Potter had tried to kill himself and now he had been asking if Severus hated him. He finally replied, �Dislike the Golden Boy? How could anyone ever think ill of the-Boy-Who-Lived?�

Harry glared at Snape, sighing out the frustrated breath. What was he expecting? Why would he expect any more of Snape when the man proclaimed his hate for him each day of the last few years he had been at Hogwarts? He pressed his back against the back of the couch and leaned his head back over the top of it, sending out a white flag with a sigh.

Severus turned; the shift caused his robes bellowed behind him as he exited the room and entered his private chambers. He needed to rethink how he had been thinking earlier. This was not a time to allow the boy to get into his heart.

---

Harry walked into the bathroom, discarding his clothing to the floor and starting the shower. The heat filled the enclosed room, sending mist to swirl through the cold density. He walked into the shower, throwing his head back as he was pelted with hot beads of water. The water-resistant skin covered from head to toe in hot, clear orbs of water that made there destination south of their current fixation.

The water massage was relaxing on his tense muscles. He wanted nothing more than to melt away with the water now covering his body. His whole self was running with the clear liquid that pooled at his feet and soon drained in through the holes that served as an exit.

Harry pressed his back against the tiled wall behind him. The cold tile served as yet another relaxation method as the hot massage he was continually receiving. His mind was blank and his body weak to the constant attack of water. He slid slowly down the surfaced wall, having his eyes closed- protection from the hot water hitting his face.

He slid his hands along the inner parts of his toned thighs, touching lightly over the water-resistant skin. The fingers brushed lightly, exciting the skin to react to the new form of arousal. Before he knew it, his whole body was aroused by the touches. It had been a long time since he had gotten excited. He had never been one to masturbate, in fear of the other boys finding out.

The hand slid ever slower over his abdomen, following the curves of abs that had been toned during Quidditch. Fingers brushed over pebbled nipples that responded happily to the touch. Finally, his hand fell lower and touched the place that called to him the whole time he had touched himself. He grabbed the mass, running a thumb over the already wet head. His lips parted into a gasp as his stroked leisurely over the length. The hard mass throbbed beneath the slow pace of his hand and thrust of his hips.

His body shivered beneath his touch, his teeth already taking initiative to assault his lower lip; to hold back the groans that pooled in his throat. Images filtered through his head and he felt himself get closer to climax at the picture that first popped into vision. It was the image of Snape, sweat collecting over his forehead and giving to the weight that bulged in an orb like shape sometimes, to run the length of his face, neck and finally disappear beneath his robes.

His hand stroked faster, his hips coming to meet the pace of the hand to add to the pressure. He came within seconds, a groan exiting his lips, though he tried to hold back from it. His body fell limp against the tile wall, his essence already being washed away by hot orbs of water. He was still trying to understand why he had come to the image of sweat rolling down a man, Snape to be exact. He couldn�t comprehend why Snape of all people would make him come. He sighed.

He knew since his fifth year that he was gay; mostly due to the fact that he received no reaction to the kisses that he received from Cho. He realized after Cho that he simply wasn�t interested in girls. Though, he was still a virgin and only really kissed one guy, it had been with Bill when he was over at the Weasley�s.

He stood up and continued his shower, making sure to wash his hair and body thoroughly.

---

Harry sat on the couch, his pajamas currently covering his body, as much as they could. They were an older pair, and were a bit short. The shirt showed a thin slice of his lithe waist and his bottoms didn�t quite cover his ankles. He lay back on the couch, looking at the ceiling. The night crept through the room, the fire lighting only part of the room and leaving the rest in the darkness. So he didn�t notice when Snape walked in, watching him from the shadows.

Harry closed his eyes, shifting his hand to scratch an itch on his waist, raising the material above the current position and exposing his belly-button.

Severus walked leisurely towards the couch; his eyes caught sight of the light skin that the boy was now scratching slowly. He held back all the thoughts he had for that current position that Potter currently lay in. He had only come out to transfigure the couch.

Harry looked up, hearing footsteps and noticed Snape slowly advancing on him. He sat upright, covering the skin that had been exposed earlier. �Professor,� he said finally, caught off guard by the man�s gaze.

Severus walked over, pointing his wand at the couch and transfiguring it quickly. �Mr. Potter,� he said in reply to the boy�s greeting. He walked over as Potter quickly put himself beneath the covers and made an attempt at recovering from the shock of the couch changing beneath him.

Harry looked at Snape for moment and finally brought himself to speak again, �Um, thanks, uh for letting me stay.�

�I see that your usual banter takes course through all points of the day, Mr. Potter. But as for the thank you, I see this as only doing my job.� Severus had been caught off guard by the attempted thank you and was having to think quickly of responses to the boy�s ever increasing surprise attacks.

Harry blushed slightly, �Yeah, I guess.� He pressed his head back against the pillow and closed his eyes, deciding he would think of more to talk about tomorrow after a good night rest, if you could say that with the visions.

Severus watched Potter close his eyes and began to leave the room, feeling no more need to be there. Why was he suddenly aware of the boy and everything he did? Why did he watch the boy�s lips when he talked and why was he so intent on finding ways to be in the same room? He was growing angrier with himself for these attempts at understanding the boy. Why did he even care about the boy?

He left the room without another word and decided that he would leave the talk until tomorrow.

---

Harry cried out, the pain in his forehead causing him to cringe. The vision overtook his body as the Cruciatus curse filled his body with unbearable pain. His nerves were sending alarms every moment to his brain as he arched his back and threw his head back in response. His screaming was death-deafening as the curse continued to control his body.

Severus was in the room within the minute as he had been awoken from his own slumber. He watched as the boy convulsed in the bed, arching and screaming. The blood trickled from the scar on his forehead and Severus instantly knew the signs of the Unforgivable Curse. He rushed out, grabbing two bottles: a pain killer and a calming potion. He rushed back into the room, and made it to the boy�s side within seconds. He forced Potter to drink the solutions and sat back, waiting for the potions to take affect.

Harry soon calmed, feeling the pain slowly ebb away and relax back into the comfort of the bed. He opened tired eyes to gaze up at his savior. He sent Snape a lopsided-grin, � �hanks.�

Severus let out a breath as he watched Potter get comfortable in the bed. He walked out, getting a damp cloth to wipe away the blood from the boy�s forehead. Once he had finished with his task, he took it upon himself to sit next to Potter.

Potter looked helpless when he slept. His face was relaxed and his weakness exposed. Severus watched as the boy�s expression continual changed into many forms of distress. At first he believed that the boy was getting hit with the curse once more, but was proven wrong.

�NO! PLEASE, Uncle Vernon, don�t hurt me�� Harry cried out, tears falling from his eyes.

Severus shook the boy slightly, causing Potter to wake with a start. Severus watched the emotion play in the boy�s eyes as he slowly gained realization that the man he was with was not Vernon. Severus brought his hand to Potter�s face, wiping away the drying tears. He couldn�t stop himself when the hand began to stroke the boy�s cheek.

Harry watched Snape with slightly wider eyes as his cheek was stroked, �P-professor?�

---

Next Chapter: Harry walked down the corridor, his eyes plastered to the floor. He walked with leisured pace as he slowly made his way back to the dungeons. He heard the soft thud of feet and brought his eyes to look up. Snape watched his with emotionless obsidian eyes, his eyebrow raised.

�Mr. Potter, it is an hour past curfew, I had expected you in my rooms earlier. Where were you?� Severus walked closer to Harry, who in turn walked slightly backwards.

�I was just taking a walk to calm my nerves.�

---

Author's Notes: Thanks for all of the reviews and to my beta Amanda. I will be expecting the next chapter to be out soon enough. ^^ Please continue to review.

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Complicated Romance