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The Reluctant Highlander	By : Tigerrr Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 15152 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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****DISCLAIMER**** I own nothing, not even the premise

A/N: Sorry for the
nasty cliffhanger, I was tired and had to go to bed. I started writing this chapter today at work
on a legal pad, so here we go:

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At nearly the same time as Severus Snape was getting the
surprise of his life, Hermione Granger was trying to get her bearings and
figure out just what she had gotten herself into. She appeared to be in some sort of grassy
field; the sun shone down upon her brightly, a gentle breeze toyed with her
hair, and birds were twittering their little heads off in a nearby stand of
trees. Back at Hogwarts, it was nearing
the middle of February and was still very cold, so she lifted her face to the
sun and basked in its warmth before reaching for her wand to change into
something more comfortable.

Her eyes shot open upon making the discovery that her wand
was nowhere to be found. Looking down at
herself, she gave a yell of surprise � gone were her student�s uniform and
robes; now she was garbed in a rather close-fitting burgundy and gold gown with
a dangerously low neckline. She couldn�t go gallivanting around like this in
some strange place�for instance her breasts, which had been shoved up practically
underneath her chin, would be sunburned!
She thought of many other reasons why she couldn�t wear this type of
thing when she heard thundering hooves from behind her.

Whirling and lamenting the loss of her wand, Hermione�s
mouth dropped open and she stared.
Coming at her, clad in full medieval knight regalia, was Gilderoy
Lockhart. He made a big production of
tossing his head and making the horse rear, (he nearly fell off) and then he
winked heartily at her and flashed the �smile that sold a million books.� What a
ponce, Hermione thought disparagingly.

�Dear lady! Be you in
need of knightly assistance?� Lockhart
cried, flourishing his lavender cape and making the horse bolt. He sawed at the reins and was nearly unseated
once again before he made the wise decision of dismounting and continuing his
pontificating on the ground where flamboyance was a great deal safer. He threw out his chest and sauntered up to
her, apparently ignoring the fact that she was steadily backing away.

He had her backed up against a tree and she looked up at one
of the twittering birds, who seemed to look back down at her as if to say,
�What can you do?� She could have sworn
the bird shrugged. �Wait just one
moment! I wanted a Highlander fantasy,
not anything to do with you,� she
exclaimed crossly while dodging the idiot�s puckered lips. He stopped, looking wounded and clutching at
his chest theatrically.

�Ah! Oh! She wounds
me with cruel words, alas!� Lockhart yelled to the birds, who didn�t seem to
care. Hermione rolled her eyes and began
to sidle away when another man appeared out of nowhere, more along the lines of
her fantasy. This new man was wearing a
black kilt, and was American-football-player huge with a body to die for. He had golden skin that almost seemed to
sparkle with gold dust, long black hair falling to his waist, and eyes like
she�d never seen before�they didn�t look remotely human. That�s
more like it, she thought admiringly � then she recognized the arm band
circling one bulging bicep. This was the
embodiment of Adam Black, or Amadan Dubh, in the Highlander novels. He was known as the chief mischief-maker
amongst the Tuatha de Danaan, and the chief seducer among them as well. If there was a problem anywhere, like as not
it was of this man�s making. He bowed to
her gracefully.

�Greetings, beautiful one�my name is Adam, and I am to be
your guide through your �Rendezvous with Romance.� Please excuse Sir Gilderoy here � as the
book�s main creator, he finds it nigh impossible to stay out of the way and let
a fantasy happen without him. He also does not seem to know that, as you wanted
a Highland fantasy, he should not be wearing a
suit of armor.� Here Lockhart crossed
his arms and glared at Black. �However,
he was sent to you a�purpose since you started out alone here, but we had no
idea that a companion of yours would be following, so we found it necessary to
alter the plotline a wee bit to account for it.�

Companion? Huh? Hermione looked at him quizzically. �I came here by accident, but there was only
me�no one else followed.� He whipped out
a notepad from somewhere, consulted it, and looked back at her.

�No, says here that you were due for a standard
�off-the-feet Sweeping� by Gilderoy in a
kilt, but we had to reset everything when your man came in her after you. He�s been detained by a spot of
unpleasantness while we fix everything, but in the meantime, would you care for
some refreshment? Perhaps Gilderoy could
feed you some grapes while you wait��
Lockhart perked up at this, becoming very excited. ��or maybe you�d just like to go on up to the
castle. It may be quite the wait, since
he is dreadfully busy right now�but doing rather well, under the
circumstances�� He tucked the notepad
back into his sporran and looked at her expectantly.

�WHO are you
talking about? There was no one, I�m
telling you! Just let me out of here, I told you that it was a mistake!� Hermione was near the end of her rope.

Her guide looked astonished.
�But you can�t go, can�t leave
until�er, what do you mean, you don�t know?�
She shook her head at him, no. �Let me see, now�he seems to be passing
fond of the colors black, green, and silver and has a hell of a temper � does
that help any?�

Hermione stared at him.
�No, not real-no. Those are Slytherin
colors, but he wouldn�t�he wouldn�t�.did
he really?� She began to pace furiously
as Lockhart wandered off to pick daisies and Adam waited patiently, arms
folded. She stopped and turned on him
suddenly. �What exactly do you mean, a
spot of unpleasantness?� she accused, and Adam�s lips quirked.

�Well, it seems he arrived in the midst of a battle already
in progress. But, as I said, he�s doing
terribly well � here, I�ll show you.� He gestured, and suddenly it was as if
they were right in the melee � knights and Scotsmen were bashing each other energetically. But where was Professor Snape? Ah � right there. Was that a kilt he had on???

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Severus Snape was having one hell of a day. Several Potions lessons with pack upon pack
of morons, dealing with a set of hyperactive Gryffindors, and now this �
fighting for his life whilst wearing a skirt.
He leaned out of the way as the biggest broadsword he�d ever seen went
whistling by his ear, and struck out with the claymore he�d found strapped to
his back. The armor-wearing lunatic
dropped in his tracks. Two more crazed
buffoons came charging up howling for his blood (which he�d prefer to keep in
his veins, thank you very much) and he went flying as his horse, the stupid
brute, reared unexpectedly.

Frantically trying to regain his feet before the rest of the
madmen chopped off something important, he tried to bring his magic to bear
against them � he had been trained by no less than Albus Dumbledore in the use
of wandless magic, and had long since outstripped his mentor in this capacity,
though he seldom used it. Thrusting his
free hand towards the closest knight, he thought Lightening and spread his fingers.
The man was almost upon him when he felt the energy roiling inside his
body, and he let it burst from his fingertips.
It struck the hapless idiot and jumped from his helmet to another,
delivering a shock so powerful that it rendered them unconscious
immediately. The fighting began to stop
as the crackling blue-green forked energy raced through the field.

He sagged back onto the trampled ground, gasping and rubbing
the fingers of his hand together reflexively.
A great cry went up and he was surrounded by dozens of huge men, all
wearing kilts�at the angle he was currently lying, he wanted to Obliviate
himself. �By Amergin, Laird Raven,
yeh�ve dunnit!� an especially hairy Scotsman yodeled joyously, dragging him to
his feet and delivering a back slap so powerful that Severus was hard put not
to fall face-first into the mud. The
others roared their acclaim, excepting one man who made an odd sign with his
fingers � Severus forgot about it as well as the title they accorded him in the
next instant, when two identical warriors grasped him and steered him from the
field.

They introduced themselves as Drustan and Dageus MacKeltar,
informed him that they were Druids as well, and could he teach them the
lightening trick please? He stared at
them, hardly understanding a single word, but acceded when they wanted to
conduct him to their castle. He wiped a
hand across his face and went in search of a pail of water � the twins followed
at a distance and when he finally located one, he made the mistake of looking
down into it. He was astonished. His hair was now down almost to the middle of
his back and he had a short beard as well as moustache. Pushing the pail away, he marched to the
horse that the Druids had readied for him.
He was hot, he was tired, he was overly hairy, and he needed a stiff
drink. But he was going to throttle
Hermione Granger ten ways from Sunday before he did anything else.

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A/N: Tee-hee, Hermione�s gonna get
it. If anyone has ever read Karen Marie Moning�s Highlander novels, you know who the other
characters are, but I hope I�m explaining well enough for those who haven�t
read them.

In other news, who thinks Snape should keep his facial
hair? Enough votes, and it will go �
just one more thing to make him mad <g>
I missed posting in the Hermione/Snape category, everyone here likes
reviewing � I�m still working on my SS/HG/LM over in male/female and it seems
everyone in the world has read it, but only about 9 or 10 people reviewed.
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The Reluctant Highlander