Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Some Blond Fool	By : AndreaLorraine Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 46885 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
She tried valiantly to ignore the
fact that the entire world thought she was in an intimate relationship with Draco Malfoy.� She went shopping.� It was for muggle
clothes in muggle stores, but still she couldn�t
shake the paranoid feeling that everyone was watching her.� As Draco�s bold
behavior had proven, there was someone following her around in the hopes of getting
incriminating photographs.

�� Buying some
new clothes made her feel a bit better, especially because they looked amazing
on her.� Of course, pictures of her
looking fashionable and amazing would never appear in Witch Weekly.� After two hours she sat down at a caf� and
ordered an espresso.� Her phone seemed to
be burning a hole in her pocket.

�� At last she
gave up and took it out.� If that
mysterious phone number from last night was either Malfoy,
she�d be able to properly berate them.�
Never mind planning a way to diffuse the situation�

�� Taking a
deep breath, she dialed.� There was still
the possibility that it was one of her friends from home, in which case she�d
have a nice catch up conversation and leave it at that.� The phone rang once, twice, three times,
four�and then went to voicemail.

�� It was him.�
Lucius Malfoy�s
voice calmly informed her that he wasn�t available and that she could leave a
detailed message and he�d return her call as soon as possible.� She was so stunned listening to the recorded
message that she didn�t even realize it was over and it had beeped.� It was recording her.

�� You!� was
all she said, simultaneously ending the call.�
The world didn�t make any sense.� Draco Malfoy had assisted her in
one of her worst moments.� His father was
more of a bloody muggle than she was.� And now one had kissed her and the other was
sending her massively inappropriate yet comforting messages?

�� Hermione
moaned out loud.� This was too
confusing!� The waiter came over a moment
later and gave her an odd look as he set down another espresso.

�� Everything all right, dear?�

�� As a
matter of fact, it�s not.�

�� Man
troubles?� he asked companionably.

�� You have
no idea.�

�� Try me,�
he grinned.

�� Hermione
took a deep breath.� �My husband cheated
on me three days ago, yesterday my former worst enemy kissed me and I sort of
liked it and now everyone thinks I�ve left my husband for him, and I think my
former worst enemy�s father is flirting with me via text message.�

�� The waiter
blinked and then appeared impressed.� �My
dear,� he said, picking up her empty cup, �aside from the cheating, I wish I
had your problems.�

�� She had
just left the caf� when Lucius called her back.� She was feeling jittery from the two
espressos and muttered a brief prayer before answering.� This would probably not be her finest hour.

�� Hello.�

�� That was
quite the eloquent message you left.�

�� Ignoring
his sarcasm, she demanded, �Did you tell Draco to
kiss me?�

�� No.�� He paused.�
�I wasn�t aware that he did that.��
Another pause.�
Her eyes widened � did this bother
him?� Of course it did, he probably didn�t
want his son kissing anyone that wasn�t a pureblood.� That had to be it.� He could care less, otherwise, because he
certainly had no interest in her.� �He is
a big boy now, very capable of his own plotting,� he went on.� �Let me guess.� Witch Weekly?�

�� Yes,�
Hermione answered.� �Front and center.�

�� That
proves that someone is following you and trying to get incriminating
pictures.� That�s probably all he was
trying to do.�

�� Oh, come
on, like the two of you don�t get a sick enjoyment out of knowing that Harry
and half the Weasleys would rather hang themselves
than see me with Draco!�

�� I imagine it
is making your wayward husband quite jealous,� was all he said in response.

�� He�s got
no right to be jealous!� she exclaimed just a tad too loudly.� Several people on the street gave her strange
looks.

�� Certainly
not,� Lucius agreed.

�� Well, this
can�t�Draco has to�there has
to be some damage control.�� Hermione
felt a headache building behind her right eye.�
Was she really on the phone negotiating with Lucius
Malfoy?

�� You don�t
need damage control if there isn�t any damage.�

�� Oh,
believe me, there�s damage.�

�� He sighed,
a dramatic, long-suffering thing.� �Fine.� Draco will be here around six o�clock.� Come to my flat and we�ll discuss a
strategy.�

�� Ok.� Where�?�

�� Ah yes, I
forget you were intoxicated when you last made the trip.� It�s--� he stopped abruptly, �bloody hell,
it�s Franz.� That man�I�ll text you.�

�� The dial
tone was buzzing in her ear before she even realized that he hung up.� Then she jumped when the phone vibrated
against the side of her head.� If people
weren�t looking at her before, they definitely were now.� Damn him!

�� Just for
that, she was going to go early.� It was
a little after four now.� If she walked
she would be there in half an hour.� It
was nice enough that she could, and her bags weren�t so heavy that it would be
uncomfortable.� She felt no shame
whatsoever in using him for his tv.� She had a lot of Footballer�s Wives to catch
up on, after all.

�� He didn�t
seem as surprised by her early arrival as she�d hoped.� In fact, she was the one that was more
surprised, because she was greeted enthusiastically by two dogs.� They were large with gleaming grey coats and
blue eyes.� What were they called?� Ah yes, Weimaraners.� They were beautiful.

�� Lucius nudged one of the eager dogs aside with a gentle
prod of his foot.� �It�s not six,� he
said pointedly.

�� No, it
isn�t,� she agreed.

�� He stared
at her impassively for a moment and then shrugged.� �Gives me an excuse to end
the day early. �If I have to talk
to Franz one more time, I may board a plane to Switzerland and kill him.�

�� That bad?�

�� One of his
employees embezzled something like 600,000 euros from his company, and the
company�s not doing well as it is.�

�� Ouch,�
Hermione said, smiling as the dogs sniffed her frantically, their stubs of tails
wagging.� It was so strange to be having
a polite, everyday sort of conversation with him.

�� Yes.� Ouch.��
At last he stood aside to let her in.�
�The dogs are Oberon and Titania.�

�� Hermione smiled
at the pretentious names.� �Were they
here yesterday?� she asked.� There had
been no trace of any pets that she remembered, but she hadn�t exactly gone
exploring.

�� Yes, but
they were in their playroom.� Draco created it.��
He turned, leaving her to close the door.� The dogs nearly tripped over themselves to
follow him.� �I�ll show you,� he said
over his shoulder.

�� Once inside
the playroom, she had to give Draco credit; this was
an excellent piece of magic.� He had
created an outdoor menagerie for the two dogs in one of the spare rooms.� It was a tremendous field complete with its
own weather; bright sun, fluffy clouds, the perfect temperature, and a slight
breeze.� Dog toys and bones were
scattered in the grass and self-filling water bowls gleamed in the sun.� There was also a small, shaded lean-to with
plush cushions in it if the dogs needed to nap.�
She wondered if it had a night cycle and the dogs slept in here, or if
they slept with Lucius.� Seriously, why did her mind keep returning to
his bed?� She was sure Freud would have
something to say about it, but screw him, he was dead.

�� This is
really impressive,� she admitted.� It was
the perfect spring day inside and in spite of her misery and confusion, her
spirits were lifted.� Watching the dogs
gambol around and fight over tattered toys was enough for that.�

He only nodded in response.� Hermione looked up from petting Oberon and
decided to press her luck.� �If you don�t
mind me asking, how come you live here instead of at your Manor?�

�� Titania was apparently jealous of her companion�s attention
and butted up against Lucius.� Absently, he stroked the dog�s head.� He didn�t answer for a long minute and she
thought that maybe she had pushed too far, too fast.� But then he said, �It�s easier to live without
magic when you aren�t surrounded by it all the time.� You forget that you�re missing something.�

��

�� Though he
had forsworn work, he disappeared into the office after that odd moment of
honesty.� Hermione did as she had planned
and planted herself in front of the telly.� She was halfway through another episode of
her favorite guilty pleasure when she sensed him standing behind the
couch.� She glanced up; he was watching
the screen intently.� At present, two of
the actresses were snorting cocaine in a bathroom stall.

�� I wouldn�t
think you would watch something like this,� he said.�

�� Ditto,�
she returned.

�� It�s full
of promiscuity and backstabbing.�� A
smirk graced his features.� �What�s not
to like?�

�� Well, you
two are regular pals, aren�t you?� Draco asked when
he arrived and found them sitting on the same couch watching Footballer�s
Wives.

�� Quiet,�
Hermione said.� �It�s the last episode.�

�� Draco snorted and went into the kitchen to look for
something.� �Father, what�s for dinner?�

�� Whatever we order.�

�� Indian?�

�� Lucius looked at her and it took her a moment to realize he
was expecting a yes or no.

�� Oh.� That�s fine.� �

�� So there
she was, eating take-out Indian food with the two blonde fools.

�� The
problem is this,� she said.� �During the Triwizard Tournament I figured out that Rita Skeeter, newswoman extraordinaire, was an unregistered animagus.� She could
take the form of a ladybug and that�s how she was getting all her stories.� A lot of those stories revolved around me and
how I was a tart.�

�� Draco inhaled too quickly and coughed.� �She obviously didn�t know you very
well.� Most tarts don�t spend their
evenings in the library.�

�� I doubt
you ever set foot in that library your entire seven years,� she shot back.� �What were you doing that was so worthwhile?�

�� Lucius looked back and forth between them.� �Play nicely, children,� he remarked mildly.

�� Anyway,�
Hermione went on, �once I figured it out I captured her.� I kept her in a jar for about eight months.�

�� Correct me
if I�m wrong,� Lucius said, �but that would be
kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment.�

�� She
shrugged.� It was, but at the time it had
seemed appropriate.

�� And I
thought getting punched in the face was bad,� Draco
muttered.� He set his fork down.� �Didn�t know you had it in
you, Granger.�

�� An
excellent vengeance, but it is easy to see where her motivation in this latest
campaign comes from,� Lucius said.

�� Exactly.� And she
admitted she was an animagus two years ago, so I have
nothing to blackmail her with to keep her under control.�

�� Draco was shaking his head in disbelief.� �You play dirty, Granger.�

�� Yes, it�s
not behavior that�s very becoming of a Gryffindor,� Lucius
agreed.� He was smirking behind his hand
again.

�� Please,�
she said dismissively.� �The woman is a ruiner of lives.�

�� Silence met
her declaration and lasted until Lucius said, �We
know that well enough.�

�� She looked
up.� Lucius�s
smirk was gone.� Draco,
too, appeared much more serious.� A look
passed between them.

�� We have
our own bone to pick with Ms. Skeeter, for lack of
better terminology,� Lucius started.� �Narcissa and I
made the mistake of picking a slow week to get divorced.�

�� Hermione�s
eyes widened.� So that was the other part
of the puzzle, the other reason he was out here � he wasn�t married anymore.� She was sure the Manor was waiting for him
when he got his wand back, but for now, there was nothing to keep him there.

�� Everything
was amicable.� Agreements were made, things were settled�all that had to be done was a few
trips to court.� Well, that wasn�t good
enough for Ms. Skeeter.� She seized onto it like a vulture to a
carcass.� Even though we both stated the
reason for divorce as irreconcilable differences, she proceeded to fabricate
sensational stories.�

�� It was
ridiculous,� Draco said darkly.� �But it was still at that point where people
would believe anything they were told about us.�

�� About me,�
Lucius corrected.

�� Yes, well,
we needn�t go into details.� People ate
up the things she wrote.� It didn�t
matter that my mother told them over and over that none of it was true.� No one listened.� Even the Wizengamot
believed it.� They tried to overturn his
trial and retry him.�

�� That�s illegal!�

�� Yes, we
know,� Lucius said, again in that curiously mild
tone.

�� Hermione
was horrified.� �And she didn�t care at
all, did she?�

�� No.� As it was, the Wizengamot
amended their ruling and restricted him to the Manor.�

�� It was
house arrest,� Lucius said.� �But with no house elves, no visitors, no
magical objects of any significant power, no potions, nothing I could
presumably use to harm anyone.� And then
it was a real arrest, when I left the Manor to go to my own divorce hearing.�

�� A month ago
she would have thought that all of it served him right.� Now it made her terribly angry; Rita Skeeter truly had no soul.�
It didn�t matter that in those days Lucius had
been a real bastard.� He had already
given up his wand, and no matter how comfortable he seemed without it, she knew
it had been an incredibly difficult thing to do.� He had been ill-prepared for the results of
the war and its fallout.� Every moment of
those first few years had probably been a kind of torture to him, especially
since his learning had to be done with everyone watching.� Growth and change were never easy, and he�d
done both, that much was obvious.� So, to
be hated, rendered a squib, then have to deal with a
divorce, and during all that, to have a heartless crackpot kick him while he
was down for her own amusement�

�� What
happened?� Hermione asked softly.

�� I spent
three weeks in Azkaban.� They were
threatening the Dementor�s Kiss.� Narcissa finally
had to go on the record under the influence of Veritaserum
for them to believe that Skeeter was lying.� Many of the people in the Wizengamot
still had a vendetta�Narcissa said that they
humiliated her.� �Lucius
sighed.� �But it worked.� I was released, most of the restrictions were
revoked, and the divorce went through.�

�� And
nothing happened to Rita Skeeter at all,� Hermione
finished.

�� Correct,� Draco nodded.� �They
didn�t even print a retraction, so most people still believe her rubbish.� And given her propensity for making things
up, I�m not 100 percent convinced that Weasley
cheated on you.�

�� Hermione�s
entire body was tense.� She was
infuriated.� �That�.that bitch.�

�� Our sentiments exactly.�

�� Silence
reigned.� Hermione�s eyes narrowed as she
chewed a piece of naan.� Clearing her throat, she stated, �I believe
this is the part where we form an unholy alliance hell bent on bringing down
Rita Skeeter.�

�� Draco was looking at her with an expression of muted
disbelief.� Lucius
smiled.

�� You�ll
encounter no resistance from us.�

��

�� She felt
surprisingly comfortable plotting with them.�
She felt surprisingly comfortable with them, period.� Slowly her brain was adjusting to the fact that
she was where she was and with whom she was with.� It felt good; it brought a strange sort of
closure to a part of her life that she didn�t like to visit.� Everything really had returned to normal, or, in the case of Lucius,
become normal for the first time.

�� The two of
them had broken out a bottle of wine.�
She respectfully declined, which they found highly amusing.

�� I can�t
imagine why you wouldn�t want some,� Draco goaded.

�� Yes, it�s
a very good vintage,� Lucius agreed.

�� I�m all
right with the mango lassi, thanks,� she replied
queasily.� Even the smell of the wine was
evoking bad memories.

�� All
right,� Lucius said, swirling the wine in his glass,
�we�ve got most of the facts.� Now we
need a course of action.�

�� Before
that, have you gotten any sense of the reaction to the pictures?� Draco asked.� �What I
mean is, is Skeeter getting
what she wants out of this?�

�� I�m not
sure.� All the letters I got so far
actually seemed quite positive.�

�� Really?�� Draco clearly had not expected this.� Lucius�s brow had
creased slightly; she could tell that he was pondering exactly what that meant.

�� Well,
Witch Weekly�s readership is primarily female.�
So I�ve definitely got some sympathy from other women whose boyfriends
or husbands have cheated on them.�

�� And you,
my offspring, are attractive and slightly dangerous,� Lucius
nodded.� They both turned to look at him
like he�d lost his mind.� �What?� he
demanded.� �It�s true.� You may be immune, Ms. Granger, but the
majority of women are like hummingbirds to nectar with that kind of man.�

�� So they
like me because I�m the wronged wife having an empowering fling,� Hermione
stated, unable to keep the smile off her face, �and they like Draco because he�s attractive and dangerous?�

�� Hey, why
is that a question?� Draco pouted.

�� Perhaps
I�m not explaining myself well.� Draco is a man with a past that is dark and questionable,
but also a man who redeemed himself and showed himself capable of great
compassion and heroics.� All the women
reading that magazine know that.�

�� Oh my God,
Dad,� Draco muttered, sinking low in his seat.� He looked so uncomfortable that Hermione
wondered if torture might be preferable to unsolicited praise from his
father.� These purebloods truly were odd!

�� I�m sure
they also know that he�s single.� No
doubt Rita would have informed them of that in her articles.� And being your old school enemy, there is
automatic tension.� Sometimes that
tension can boil over into sexuality.� So
it�s the ultimate romance; you, wronged by your husband and devastated, and he,
worthy but alone, meet��

�� Worthy but alone?!� Draco nearly
shouted.� Hermione laughed out loud.

�� You meet
and all those old tensions are dredged up, but time and circumstance have
changed them.� Bam.� Cue fling.�

�� You have got to stop watching television!� Draco thumped his fist on the table.

�� Tell me
that maudlin women wouldn�t eat that up,� Lucius
addressed Hermione, ignoring his son.

�� It took all
of her composure not to break into hysterical laughter.� What Lucius was
saying probably wasn�t far off the mark, but Draco
was right � he did need to stop watching tv.� And Draco, poor Draco looked as though he wanted to break his wine glass
and gouge his eye out with the shards.

�� Ok,� she
said shakily, only just containing her laughter, �whatever the reason, they
like us.�

�� Yes,� Draco bit off.�
�Let�s stay on task, please.�

�� I say that
you should continue the fa�ade until and unless opinion begins to turn.� This is not
what Skeeter wanted, and anything we can do to
counter her is good,� Lucius said, only the slightest
hint of a smirk on his lips.

�� It�s true, it would drive her mad that she�s not getting what she
wants.�

�� I just
worry about escalation,� Hermione frowned.�
�If she isn�t getting the desired impact, she�ll start to make up things
that are more and more ridiculous.� Next
week I could be pregnant, and honestly, Draco, I�m
not ready to be pregnant with our lovechild.�

�� I�m not ready to create our lovechild,� he muttered.

�� You have
to play her game, though,� Lucius said.� �And if you�re creating your own scandal,
rather than letting her do it for you, you�re winning.� Eventually it will force her hand and she�ll
be revealed as a fraud.�

�� Hermione
considered.� He was probably right.� Nothing would infuriate Rita more than her
subjects actually complying with her wild publicity.� It would leave her scrambling to find things
that were more and more sensational.� And if they had the readers on their side�

�� This could
work,� she remarked.

�� Could?� Lucius said.� �It
will.�� He poured himself another glass
of wine.� �And while you two are playing
relationship charades, I�ll be looking for evidence that Skeeter
fabricated the report about your husband cheating.�

�� Oh, come
on,� Hermione sighed.� �There were
pictures.�

�� You saw
what she did with the picture of you and I,� Draco said.� �For all
we know she could have manipulated them and the whole
thing never happened.�

�� What did
he say about it?� Lucius asked.

�� He.� Ron.� She shook her head.� �He said nothing.� Nothing at all.� It seemed like he wasn�t sure himself.�

�� Idiot,� Draco said with a sigh.�
He frowned deeply.� �There�s only
one problem with this plan.�

�� What�s
that?�

�� You can�t
leave the country, father.� And since the
incident happened in Mykonos, that presents a problem.��
Draco looked apologetic and delivered his next
statement gently.� �You also won�t be
able to do the kind of sneaking around necessary without a wand and without arousing
suspicion.� ��

�� Lucius took it in stride.�
�Ah, true.� I forget I have a bad
reputation.�

�� You aren�t
allowed to leave the country?� Hermione asked.

�� Here they
can monitor the wand shops to make sure I don�t purchase a new one.� They can�t do that abroad.� Now, if I really wanted to leave, I could�but
I�d spend the rest of my life on the run and if and when I returned, I�d be
arrested, thrown into Azkaban�the whole bit.�

�� She
marveled at it.� All along she had
thought that Malfoy got off easy, but it seemed that
there was no end to the restrictions on him.�
He really did have to walk the straight and narrow to stay free.� However, it was becoming increasingly possible
that the straight and narrow�suited him.

�� So what do
we do?� she asked.

�� I think
it�s a solid plan,� Draco replied.� �My father and I just need to switch places.�

�� A beat of
silence met his declaration.� Hermione
was reassured by a quick glance at Lucius; he looked
as uneasy as she felt.

�� There is
no guarantee that I would be received well,� he said, a bit more guarded than
before.� �And it would make Miss Granger
appear both loose and positively mental.�

�� Well, you
are trying to create a scandal, aren�t you?�

�� And why
would I appear mental?� she asked.� Loose
she could understand, dating a son and a father in rapid succession, but why
would it seem crazy?� Yes, Malfoy had a past, but he was also a smart, good-looking man
(her ruminations on his rear end prior to realizing it was him the other day
proved that).� Never mind that he was
rich.� Once they got over their initial
fear, most women would not mind taking a shot at him.� None of which she said out loud.

�� I�m fifty-one
years old.� People would suspect you had
some sort of daddy complex.�

�� That�s not
old,� she shrugged.� �I always wanted to
date older men.�

�� When, Granger?� Draco asked.� �You walked off that battlefield already married
to Weasley.�

�� She lapsed
into a sullen silence.� She didn�t often
think about the way her love life had gone, but Draco
was too perceptive for his own good.�
There had been Viktor, of course, and she had enjoyed her few months
with him more than she ever let on to anyone, but it never would have worked
out.� Then there was the debacle with Cormac McLaggen, which had been
more out of revenge than anything else.�
And then there was only Ron.� Ron,
Ron, Ron.� It had seemed so right but
perhaps the war had throttled her better judgment.� Wars tended to do such things.

�� I�m not
convinced,� Lucius said at length.� �There is no knowing how people will react to
it.� It could do more harm than
good.� I could end up looking like a
lecherous creep in addition to all the other unsavory things I already appear
to be, and Rita would be only too happy to return to writing about how you are
a tart, Miss Granger.�

�� Or it
could be good,� Draco challenged.� �Think about it.� You have this reputation, but no one�s heard
a word about you in three years, father.�
If you reappear all of a sudden and you�re dating a muggleborn�Hermione
Granger, no less�it would turn everything they thought about you on its ear.�

�� This time Lucius was the one that looked decidedly
uncomfortable.� Hermione thought that it
might have something to do with the fact that Draco
was now as ruthless a planner as he; gone was the whiny, spoiled brat that she
had known.� Lucius�s
heir had at last overtaken him.

�� I am going
to rue the day I ever got involved with this,� he sighed.

�� So you�re
in, then.� Granger?�

�� Hermione
frowned at the two of them.� Lucius looked like he had a headache.� Draco looked very
sure of himself.

�� Would
people really believe it?�� If she was
reading it, she would have a hard time believing it, but she was smarter than
most�

�� Skeeter is banking on people believing whatever rubbish she
creates.� She wouldn�t still be in
business if they didn�t.�

�� Could she
really do this?� Could she pretend to be
romantically involved with Lucius Malfoy?� God, what would she tell people?� Half of the people that mattered would think
she�d gone nuts or hate her outright.�
Ron would probably attempt murder.

�� One
condition,� she said.� She had both of
their attention; it was difficult not to squirm under their combined gaze, blue
and grey.� �I have to tell certain
people.� I�ll lose half my friends if I
don�t.�

�� If they
disassociate themselves with you because you date someone they don�t approve
of, they aren�t your friends anyway.��
Hermione gave Draco a sideways glance.� Her mother would have said the same exact
thing.� It was kind of disturbing,
actually�

�� I know,
but��

�� Tell
whoever you want as long as you think they can play along,� Lucius
said.� �And for God�s sake, make sure
there aren�t any ladybugs in the room when you do.�

�� Don�t
worry, I know how to make sure that a secret stays a secret,� she said
ominously.� The two Malfoys
exchanged a look.� Then Draco smiled.

�� All right, you two.�
You just�enjoy yourselves and I�ll do all the work.�� He cut off whatever protest his father had
been about to voice with an odd little chuckle.�
Draco stood up, tipped his empty glass at
them, and headed for the door.

�� Lucius stared after him for a long time.� Then his blue eyes met hers and he said,
�I�ve created a monster.�

�� She
laughed.� �Serves you
right.�

�� I
suppose.�� He tapped his fingers
thoughtfully.� �So, wildly inappropriate
pretend girlfriend that is against my better judgment, shall we plan our first
date?�

�� She tried
to feel insulted, but like so many times already, she couldn�t.� This was troublesome, indeed.� She had never met a man she couldn�t stay
angry at; whether that indicated a problem with her or with men in general, she
didn�t know.� It had only been half a
day, though.� She suspected that before
the end of this, he would incite her rage more than once.� It was best to enjoy this sarcastic jousting
while she could.

�� Let me
sleep on it.�

�� From the
way he smiled, she knew he was controlling the urge to make a tasteless
comment.�

�As you wish.�
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Some Blond Fool