Return to Me

*There’s something cold and blank behind her smile

She’s standing on and overpass

In her miracle mile*



I would stare into his eyes, they fascinate me as they glaze over in pain, he lets his head fall back, closing his eyes as I dig the knife deeper into his side, he groans as I shift inside of him as he keeps working his body against me. My other arm is wrapped around his back, keeping him steady as he rocks, his hands wrapped in black silk, attached to the ceiling. I nip as his chest, easily sliding the knife out and running my fingers over the wound, whispering a couple healing spells so he doesn’t die on top of me. I groan as he clamps down on me, his orgasm building even higher inside of him as he works more frantically, his fingers clenched in the silk. I lean back to take control, driving up into him as his groans get louder. He looks down on me, his eyes burning as I fuck him harder, faster. I scratch brutally down his back and he lets out a low hiss, nuzzling his aristocratic nose in his ivory silk arm. His white blonde hair falling across his face, I dig my nails deeper, groaning as I release myself inside of him. He pants as I finish and slowly pull out of him. I then get up and look down on him, he slowly looks up at me.



“Open your mouth,” I growl, he frowns but does what he’s told. I slap him, hard and he gasps, his mouth still open as he pants, his eyes downcast. I kneel down before him and roughly grab his erection and start to stroke it, he groans, pushing into my hand. I backhand him and he groans again, blood running down the corner of his mouth. I speed up as he tries to lick the blood off his lips. I tug at his cock, feeling him start to tense up but I pull away and he lets out another groan, tugging at his bonds. I get up and walk around him, picking up his favorite whip and snapping it against the floor next to him. He lets out an answering moan, tensing up as I pull back the whip, it whispers against the floor and then whistles as it flies through the air and *crack* against his shivering shoulder blades. I let the whip fly a few times, watching the scratches appear, criss crossing his smooth white skin. I stop and kneel down behind him, wrapping my arms around him, letting my salty sweat mix with the open scratches littering his back, he hisses again, arching his back away from me. I kiss down his neck, running my fingers down his erection, slowly tugging on it as I leave heavy bite marks down his neck. He rubs his ass back against me as he starts the build up towards release again.



“Please, let me come, please,” he begs between gasps.



“Tell me you’re mine,” I whisper in his ear.



“Only yours, you are my master,” he groans, pushing back up against me. I speed up my ministrations, biting into his shoulder, breaking the delicate skin as he cries out in release.



*You were from a perfect world

A world that threw me away today

Today to run away*



I sit in my chair, staring at the flickering images before me. Death, destruction, war, the world has gone to shite outside of the wizarding world. I saved one world and yet the rest needs saving also. But how do you save such a brutal world? How do you believe that you can make a difference when nothing out there makes sense? Humans, muggles, wizards, they’re all so wrapped up in their own lives. Their own brutal, violent, messed up lives. If one evil person dies, the masses cheer...but what about the cold truth that evil lives around us everyday, there’s no killing that off. I drop my hand down to Draco’s soft hair but he’s not there. I lean over and look around, he’s no where. I get up and walk out to the front of my house, the place I bought after the war when the ministry ‘rewarded’ me for saving my own ass.



“Fain,” I call, a house elf pops into existence next to me.



“Yes master Potter?” She quietly asks, I look down on her and smile, she returns it. All my house elves worry about me. They just started showing up after the war, begging for me to take them in. I let them do what they want, only asking them to do things for me. Hermione was disgusted with me for a while but she got over it when her and Ron came to live with me for a couple months as house guests.



“Can you make some tea for Draco? I think he’s still in bed,” I told her, she nodded and disappeared. It was getting harder and harder to get Draco out of bed in the mornings. Of course he begged for more and more punishment. I can tell he’s trying to kick the sleeping draughts which means he doesn’t sleep really all that much and just wants me to exhaust him so he can just pass out naturally. There was a lot that happened to him behind the scenes, a lot of things during the war against Voldemort that he won’t talk about. I walked back into my tv room and sat down, the news was finally over and some talk show was on. I switched over to another channel.



“Master Potter sire? This came for you today,” another house elf handed me a rolled parchment. I opened it up and started reading.



“What?” I stood up. The parchment outlined my dismissal from the ministry. They no longer needed the Aurors and were laying off most of them. They were returning to a normal public enforcement group to take over. I paced the room, no longer apart of the ministry? I no longer had a job, what was I going to do with myself?



“What’s wrong?” Draco stood in the doorway, rubbing his eyes.



“Here,” I handed over the dismissal, he read it over then looked up at me.



“What are you going to do now?” He asked, yawning, his tea in his other hand.



“I don’t rightly know,” I murmured, slowly sinking onto my chair.



*A pill to make you numb

A pill to make you dumb

A pill to make you anybody else

But all the drugs in this world

Won\'t save her from herself*



I stood staring at Ginny, she was floating in the huge bathtub, face down. I turned away from her and looked over at the house elf worrying itself to death, glancing between me and his mistress. Finally I kneeled down and grabbed Ginny’s hair, pulling her up out of the water and laying her gently on the cold tiles. She coughed lightly, her eyes staring back at me. I nodded to the house elf and it disappeared. I looked back to my wife, she had a blank mask covering her face.



“It’s not going to make things better,” I told her, she looked away from me.



“You’re cheating on me with a man I despise,” she breathed, her voice was raw and cracked.



“And you’re killing our child,” I growled, she snapped her eyes back to me.



“He’s not right, can’t you see that? He doesn’t make a sound, it’s...hard to watch,” she tried to explain.



“James is a strong little child, you pumping him full of drugs isn’t going to make him any better,” I grumbled, we had decided to live among the muggles, as a small, normal starter family in the heart of a gated suburban community. Of course we were far from normal. But she was so impressionistic, she listened to all the other young mothers go on about their anti-depressant dealing doctors and she got sucked in.



“Send him away Harry. Please...I can’t deal with it. Can’t we just be normal, really normal like you promised me when we got married?” She searched my eyes, I sighed and looked away.



“I can’t do that, you know why,” I stood up and threw a towel at her. She sat up and watched me leave. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright but after the life I’ve had, I don’t think I could ever love anyone.



*Her mouth was an empty cut

And she was waiting to fall

Just bleeding like a polaroid that

Lost all her dolls*





“I’m pregnant,” Ginny stood next to my chair, Draco was sitting between my legs, watching the mesmerizing boob tube as I stroked his hair lightly. I looked up at her and leaned back.



“Again?” I replied, she walked around so she was blocking our view.



“Yes, again. I’m three months along,” she hissed.



“Same as my wife,” Draco murmured, she looked down on him with such disgust and contempt. I stood up and dragged her out of the room.



“Can’t you be different from your own mum and not get pregnant every time I even look at you?” I hissed, she tore her arm out of my grip and turned to me.



“You asshole! I am trying to raise a real family here while you keep fucking with that monster! I’m supposed to be your wife Harry Potter, I’m supposed to be the love of your life!” She screamed, I could tell she was frustrated. I glanced back to where Draco was leaning against the doorway, watching us.



“You know nothing about me,” I hissed. A cry rose up from James’ room and gave me a parting glare before tending to the baby.



“I’m leaving Harry,” Draco murmured, I spun around.



“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I took a deep breathe to calm down.



“No, I’m leaving for good,” he told me, I stared at him then looked to the direction Ginny went.



“I refuse to come between you and your wife. I’m not here to give you pain, it’s the other way around,” he explained.



“You can’t leave,” I growled.



“I don’t love you Potter,” he stated before turning and walking to the floo. I watched him before going up to my bedroom and curling up on my bed. I didn’t want to think about how much it hurt to hear him say that. How much I did become attached to the bastard.



*You were from a perfect world

A world that threw me away today

Today to run away*



I curled my fingers around his neck, he stared back, silent. I ran my other hand up his chest, and down, he shivered as I grazed my fingers over his clothed cock. I leaned forward and looked up into his eyes.



“Why did you come back?” I breathed, he only blinked. “Answer me!”



“She left you after Lily was born, didn’t she? All she wanted was a little girl,” he said, I tried not to tighten my grip.



“You know nothing of my pain,” I hissed.



“Really? I don’t know death or pain or misery? I’ve killed people, tortured them, destroyed families, lives, my own father did so many horrible things to me and you expect me sit here and let you control me? I am real, you are the one that will never grow up,” he growled.



“I did once love you Draco. I once thought you were the only person in my life that made sense. What do you want from me? To play games with me for the rest of your life? You think you’ve grown up when really you’ve just gone on a long vacation while I am stuck here dealing with this shite all day long,” I shook my head and let him go.



“Life doesn’t have to be that way again, I’m tired of paying for what I’ve done, I just want to move on,” Draco explained as I turned away from him.



“Forget it, I’m done with you,” I murmured, walking off.



*A pill to make you numb

A pill to make you dumb*



Fin



Lyrics from Coma White by Marilyn Manson