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Sirius Dreams	By : HalfUnderwater Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 5376 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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A bit of angst/mild plot. More explicit scenes to come.

(: Read. Review. Enjoy.

The incessant rustling was beyond annoying. At first, Sirius had done his best to tune it out. He had burrowed his head into this pillow and promptly tried to fall asleep, but it was no use. Perhaps James had Lily over and their silencing charm hadn�t covered all the bases. That would account for the rustling. It wasn�t loud�just faint enough to hear�but it was a sound that grated on his nerves.

�Prongs, couldn�t you shag elsewhere?� he called out into the dark room.

�What in Merlin�s name are you on about?� came James� groggy reply a few moments later.

Well, there went that idea.

�What�s that sodding noise, then?� Sirius groaned. �It�s driving me mad.�

�I�m sorry,� came the soft voice of Remus Lupin.

Sirius felt guilty almost immediately, especially when he heard the dormitory door open and then click softly shut. Remus had gone downstairs and though the room was now silent as stone, there was no way Sirius could sleep.

Sighing, Sirius rolled out of bed and stumbled groggily down the stairs. He saw Remus immediately, pacing slowly along the middle of the common room. The noise was back. It had been Remus� feet sliding along the dormitory carpet as he paced.

�Hey, Moony,� he said as he approached, his voice still gravelly with sleep.

�I didn�t mean to wake you,� Remus said, only stopping when Sirius stood directly in his path.

�Anxious tonight, are we?� the black-haired boy implored softly, resting a hand on Remus� shoulder before pulling him in for a tight hug. The werewolf clung feebly to his sides.

�It�s that time of the month,� he mumbled. �Tomorrow night. It always makes me anxious.�

Sirius secured him tighter in his arms and nuzzled against his ear like any good dog would do.

�My limbs are aching,� Remus whispered, pressing his face into Sirius� neck to hide the anguished flush of his cheeks.

�I thought Madame Pomfrey had given you something for that.�

�I drank it all,� Remus said quickly, frowning as his fingers clutched at Sirius� white tee. With a blush, he remembered the last time they had been alone in the common room together at this time of night. It had been a little over two weeks ago, but they hadn�t spoken even one word about it.

�Let�s go rouse her. You need something.�

�No,� Remus whispered softly. �You�re all I need. You help.�

The air instantly turned awkward, but Sirius clutched his best friend closer. What had at first been purely sexual ended up strongly evolved by the time their bodies had parted. Being that physically close to someone was not strange to Sirius. He had been with half the eligible females in the school (and a good number of the males), but never before had true emotions entered into the game. Being that close to Remus, though, had changed him. It had altered something fundamentally about him. He knew his relationship with the tawny-haired werewolf could never be the same. And secretly, he loved it.

�Let�s go for a walk. It�ll help you relax if you�re not cooped up in here,� Sirius said, wrapping an arm around Remus� shoulders and leading him toward the stairs. �You grab the map, and I�ll get James� cloak.�

It was easy enough to get onto the grounds. Remus glanced up at the sky as he and Sirius emerged into the night and sighed in relief to see that the moon was covered with thick gray clouds. At this close to transformation, the light of it always burned horribly on his skin, tingling unpleasantly for hours after exposure.

�Where to?� Remus asked as Sirius tucked the cloak into a knapsack and lit the tip of his wand.

�Around,� Sirius mumbled, checking the map once more. Bent over it, he started walking on the path to the lake. �This route�s clear.�

Remus trudged along behind him, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his robes. The nights were still slightly chilled, and he found himself wondering if Sirius was warm enough. He was wearing only his pajamas and a thin crimson cloak.

Soon, they were walking side by side, but Remus kept his hands in his pockets, nervous that he would unintentionally slip his hand into Sirius� and that would be that�the attractive dark-haired boy would know that to him, it had been more than just a secret shag in the dark.

�You still seem uptight, Moony,� Sirius noted, glancing over at the werewolf beside him and snapping him out of his thoughts. �What�s going on?�

They paused now and turned to each other. They were quite near the lake, which stirred softly with the wind. Remus� hair had blown into his face, but he didn�t mind. Maybe Sirius wouldn�t notice the heated flush of his cheeks this way.

�Do we need to talk about it?� The dark-haired boy asked with a calm, careful quality to his voice. He had taken a step closer, and his exhilarating scent drifted to Remus� nose on the wind. It made him ache for an encore of what had happened between the two of them on a night not dissimilar to this one.

But Remus just couldn�t do it. First of all, it would be admitting to something he wasn�t quite sure of. Maybe he wasn�t straight, but was he really enough of a poof to take Sirius as a lover? He was uncomfortable with the fact that, looking back, he had always been enthralled by Sirius� personality and stunning good looks. And then, of course, there was the fear. Deep in his heart, Remus was terrified that all he�d be to this natural-born skirt chaser was a quick shag in the broom closet every now and again. The mere idea of it wounded him deeply.

Cool hands came to his burning face, brushing his hair back, and those warm gray eyes now met his.

Remus found it nearly impossible to look away, to break away from the touch he had been craving for weeks now, but he managed to take a step back.

�Talk about what?� he choked out, trying to be sangfroid and nonchalant.

Sirius didn�t buy it for even a moment.

�It�s been too long. I know that. The last thing I wanted to do was leave you hanging.�

God, Remus thought, is this conversation really happening?

�I don�t think there�s much to discuss, do you? It was just a shag.�

Unbeknownst to both boys, a sharp twinge was felt in each of their hearts. Sirius, being the bolder of the two, took a step forward. After so many squealing fangirls, a feeling of rejection was completely foreign to him.

�Come on, Moony,� he said softly, touching the young werewolf�s cheek again. Remus closed his eyes and let out a soft breath. �It doesn�t have to be that way.�

Sirius� voice was like a smooth melody gliding to Remus in the wind.

�So, I wasn�t just an Astronomy Tower Mary to you?� Remus asked, fiddling with the loose knuts and sickles in his pocket.

Sirius snorted at this and threw an arm around Remus� shoulders, steering him once more toward the lake.

�You are anything but that.�

Sirius� spirits were suddenly soaring. He had nearly laughed aloud at Remus� question. Mary whatsherface of Hufflepuff�dull, blonde, and easy�was by far the biggest slag in the entire school. Even poor daft Peter had managed to bone her once. No, Remus was nothing like that. Sirius quickly did his best to reassure him of this.

�Moony, you were embarrassed to admit to us that you even wank, let alone that you shagged a few girls. You�re not like her, mate. Not even close.�

�Even though we��

Sirius glanced over at him as he trailed off. They had reached the small bench by the shore and Remus eagerly sat down, his limbs aching. Sirius placed himself slightly less than a respectable distance away.

�Is that what you think?� Sirius asked, running his fingers through his own hair. When his hand fell, it rested on Remus� shoulder.

�Is it what you think?�

�Of course not.�

Sirius� hands cupped Remus� cheeks softly and gently forced him to look up at him. When their eyes met, Remus was stunned by the depth and calm but passionate hunger he saw there.

�I don�t think you�re a slag, Moony. I can tell you�re worried that you are, but I assure you that what we did�well, for me anyway, it was so much more than just some late-night shag. You�re my best friend, Remus.�

Their lips met then, though neither could recall who had leaned in first. It was exploratory now, soft and insistent, and Remus� mind raced. Without thinking, he broke the kiss and looked pleadingly up at his best mate.

�Padfoot, I want to be more.�

But somehow the frantic magic of their first kiss had not returned when Remus launched himself anew into Sirius� arms. He pulled back instantly and sat stone-faced, gazing in shock at his friend.

�More?� Sirius asked, as if trying the word out for the first time. His brow furrowed. �More than what?�

Remus swallowed hard. This is what he had been afraid of.

�M-more to you than any old lay in a sodding broom cupboard. And more than your friend.�

The way it ended up coming out was almost accusatory, and Remus regretted it instantly.

�You mean�a relationship?� Sirius asked softly, looking toward the lake and thinking hard. In all his life, he had never had a relationship. Not really. He had only ever used the title of �boyfriend� because it had the strange effect of loosening skirts. Not for one moment had his heart ever been in it.

Remus stood up, chuckling softly.

�I�m sorry, Padfoot.� He started to walk away, shaking his head. �I should have known that��

Sirius cut him off, grabbing his hand firmly and tugging him back. Remus� head whipped around to look at him. Sirius stood, wrapping his best friend in his arms and covering his tense, worried face in a flurry of gentle, pleading kisses.

�Don�t walk away from me,� he whispered, hating the tone of need in his voice. An epic battle was raging inside of him. He was hyperaware of the agonized tightness in his chest and the strange way his hands were clammy and shaking. What was this?

Their lips met again and again, until both were panting hard and clinging to one another. Remus� hands had fastened themselves firmly into Sirius� raven hair, grabbing at messy fistfuls of it. Sirius moaned sharply at Remus� aggression as he pulled him in closer, their bodies pressed firmly together now.

And suddenly, through a break in the clouds, a shaft of moonlight shone brightly down on them. Sirius was too lost in the moment to notice until he felt the fingers in his hair turn razor-sharp, clawing deep lines in his scalp.

�Remus, let go!� he cried, shoving all his weight against the chest of his best friend. Remus� robes were splitting down the middle, fur spilling from the sharp wounds in the fabric. When he looked up into the gorgeous amber eyes he loved, they had clouded over with brute animalism.

One second later, and he certainly would have died. Very luckily, he burst into his dog form. His change of shape loosened the werewolf�s grip and he slid down his chest, his side slamming painfully into the solid wood bench. A brutal growl ripped from his throat as Remus fell onto all fours, thick fur shivering up his arms.

As soon as it had come, his transformation abruptly stopped. The nearly-full moon dipped back behind the clouds and Remus was lying on the ground, thrashing in agony as his fur receded and his hands took human shape again. Sirius stumbled forward in his human form once more, but fell before Remus, his head swirling and thick with confusion. Something was very wrong, and even with the impossible pain in every inch of his body, Remus had the sense of mind to reach out to his friend. When his hands came back stained red with blood, his sense of self-revulsion nearly sent him into another transformation.

�No,� he groaned, gathering Sirius up into his arms. The gray eyes had fluttered shut now and his body was trembling hard. With a quickly-mumbled charm, Sirius was floating at his side. Wearing shredded clothing, Remus threw the knapsack over his shoulder and ran to the hospital wing.

�I thought I might find you here.�

Remus� head snapped up. His eyes met those of Albus Dumbledore, the aging headmaster of Hogwarts, as he stepped into the main room of the Shrieking Shack. Amber rays of light were shining in through the dusty windows and tattered curtains.

�I didn�t mean to hurt him.�

Remus meant for it to be a statement in a sure voice, but it was instead an anguished wail, accompanied by another series of burning hot tears sliding down his cheeks.

Dumbledore settled next to Remus on the shabby couch, placing his hand on the young man�s back in a fatherly, comforting way.

�Poppy has him fixed up now, good as new. He�s been asking for you.�

Remus carefully avoided Dumbledore�s eyes as he mumbled softly.

�But aren�t I expelled?�

�No, no. Mr. Black assured us he�ll tell no one of the incident. But it does seem we have a mystery on our hands. Why do you suppose you were unable to hold back a transformation? The moon was not full. It should not have been powerful enough.�

�It was very close,� Remus said after a moment, swallowing. �A shaft of light hit me directly. It caught me off guard, and I was�agitated.�

�Were the two of you having an argument, perhaps?�

�Something like that,� Remus mumbled, resting his head in his hands.

Dumbledore frowned.

�Now, Remus, I thought we were in better confidence than that��

�And what I say, it won�t leave this room?�

�I daresay, I�m better at keeping secrets than that. You and I have to work together to understand your condition. I assure you, I'll keep everything said in strict confidence.�

Remus didn�t know why, but inside him, it felt like a floodgate breaking. Everything spilled out of him: the dreams, Sirius� solution, how different it felt between them now, the tense words the night before, the passionate, desperate kiss�

When he finished, he clamped a hand over his mouth and sat there red as his crimson bedsheets. Had he really just admitted all of that? Dumbledore was sitting there still as stone, his eyes far away and his hand on his chin, thinking.

�Sir?� Remus managed in a tense, nervous voice. �I�m sorry if that was disturbing. I know the thought of two men can disgust��

�Of course not, my boy. I must admit, I was the same in my younger years. I understand the challenges that such a relationship can bring. So perhaps the early transformation had to do with arousal. Emotional, or sexual. I advise you not to be out at night so near the full moon, just to be safe. Now, my boy, Sirius has been asking for you and Madame Pomfrey has fixed up a more powerful potion for your pain. You should travel there as soon as you feel ready.�

It was about noon before Remus felt well enough to don the invisibility cloak and make his way back to the castle. He hung his head as he entered the hospital wing, embarrassed as he felt the wise, watchful eyes of Madame Pomfrey fall upon him. Bur she wasn�t critical, as he had feared. She set him up in a bed (at her insistence), fetched him some spare robes to dress in instead of his tattered pants, and gave him a lovely potion that warmed his stomach and eased his aching joints. She asked no questions.

Remus� head was spinning, his thoughts whirling too fast inside his skull. Perhaps it was the potion. He lay back in bed and let his amber eyes fall closed. Sirius had been asking for him. That was surely a good sign, right? A smile touched his lips as he pictured Sirius sitting up in bed, running a hand through his black hair and giving him that famous seductive smirk. In his daydream, he could feel Sirius� hands sliding up his arms, grabbing him firmly, pulling him close. He could feel the hot, needy kisses against his mouth. He could hear himself asking softly for forgiveness and Sirius laughing it off as his lips trailed down the smooth skin of his throat. He would straddle him right there and let the stunning black-haired boy take him, if that�s what it took to prove to him that things were okay. He could picture Sirius� hands on his hips, tugging him down on that perfect, thick erection as Remus tipped his head back and groaned.

Determined now, he threw the covers off and had Madame Pomfrey point him in the direction of Sirius� bed. The deep blue hospital curtains were drawn shut. Remus worried for a moment that his best friend had been injured more seriously than he had remembered, but Dumbledore had assured him that Sirius was just fine, and he pushed the worry out of his mind. Pausing outside the curtain, he took a deep breath and steadied himself. Here, his daydream was about to play out. There would be Sirius� mischievous gray eyes, smiling at him as that perfect smirk adorned his face.

Eagerly, Remus slipped inside.

At first, he didn�t understand what he was seeing. The noise caught him completely off guard, and he stumbled backward. There was Mary whatsherface of Hufflepuff, her blonde curls bouncing at the same tempo as her large tits and thin hips, taking Sirius Black down to the balls inside her. Her sharp whines echoed around Remus. Sirius� fingers were digging deep into the flesh of her hips, urging her onward, faster. As Remus watched, Sirius grabbed her by the hair and pulled her down for a violent kiss full on the mouth. She had a red handprint burning harshly on her ass.

Remus wanted to do something�scream and run, or attack the pair of common whores shagging so intensely right under Madame Pomfrey�s nose. Anything but just stand there, watching.

You�re not a slag, he had recalled Sirius saying to him. How many of his other partners had heard that one? Heartless Sirius Black would say anything to get an extra shag or two out of someone. Remus was absolutely fuming. He had been asking Sirius for a relationship, just like all those girls that the skirt-chaser had made fun of behind their backs. In his mind, he could see now the laughing face, could hear the words he had heard Sirius say so many times: Sirius Black, in a relationship? No. I believe in shagging. I don�t believe in love. He could hear the exasperated laughter.

�I must be such a joke to you,� Remus shouted, angry tears forming in his eyes as he watched Sirius jump and shove the slag off his stiff, glistening prick.

�Remus, wait�� Sirius faltered, but the tawny-haired werewolf was already back through the curtain, storming out of the hospital wing, twitching in the effort it took to hold off another change.

And Sirius was left behind, faltering, with nothing but an upset blonde, a stiff cock, and his regrets.
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Sirius Dreams