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***
Everything was a blur. Severus was
walking down a street lined with shops and traffic shooting down the road at an
unsafe speed. He was looking for Ron, they’d arranged to meet but he
wasn’t there… Severus was confused, he should be there by now, he
was beginning to worry as he checked his watch for the fifth time. He heard a
horn blare behind him and a squeal of tires, the horn again, a thump and a
yell. The horn again. He looked at the tarmac of the
road and saw a crumpled pile of limbs with a mop of red hair, blood everywhere.
Still the horn sounded, getting louder and more frequent between blasts.
Realisation burned in his throat, he gasped and the horn shattered right down
his ear canals to his brain.
“Ohmyfuckinggod,”
he spat, and found himself sitting upright in his bed, he could see Ron’s
legs underneath the covers next to him.
“What?”
Ron sat up immediately, blinking sleep out of his eyes, hands outstretched.
The
doorbell rang out shrilly from the hallway below.
“Are
you alright?” Ron yawned, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Bad dream,” Severus squeezed his eyes shut, before throwing back
the covers and crossing to the window. “Ron, blackout contraption needs
to go.”
Ron lazily
waved his wand and the room filled with stinging sunshine. “Ow,
Christ almighty.”
Severus
peered onto the street and caught sight of a flaming red head of hair with
tight curls.
“I
think that’s one of your brothers dancing on the doorbell,” he
turned to Ron. “Curly hair.”
Even half asleep Ron couldn’t confine his joy at the visitor.
“Charlie!” He threw his clothes on and disappeared onto the
landing.
Severus ran
a hand through his hair and wondered what the visit was going to bring. He
absentmindedly made the bed and put on his clothes from the night before, then
crept out to the point where banister met wall and leant against it, listening
carefully. With a jolt of his stomach, he realised that it had been a long,
long time since he had last lingered at this banister, listening to a
conversation he wasn’t meant to hear.
Ron shut
the door and turned to give his brother a hug.
“I
can’t believe they called the cavalry in,” Severus heard Ron say
and Charlie’s answering laugh.
“Come
into the kitchen,” Ron motioned down the hallway. “I’ll get
the kettle on and you can tell me all about why they’ve sent you and
what’s in that suitcase. How did you find me?”
“Dad
knew where Severus lived, gave me directions.” Charlie sat down.
“It’s a bit glum round here isn’t it?”
“I’ve
not actually seen it in daylight yet,” Ron admitted, putting the kettle
on to boil.
“House
is nice though,” Charlie commented, drumming his fingers on the table,
clearly trying to be polite. “Does he own it?”
“It
was his parents’,” Ron took the dried mugs off the draining board
from the night before. “So yes, suppose he does!”
“Get
you,” Charlie laughed. “Gold digger.”
“Watch
your mouth,” Ron smiled, “You’re technically under my roof
now.”
“That’s
true,” Charlie raised an eyebrow. “I have to say, I’m more
than surprised.”
Ron drowned
the teabags in boiling water. “Nobody’s more surprised than me, or
him, trust me.” He stirred and added sugar and milk.
“These
things tend to come from nowhere when they happen, don’t they?” Charlie
accepted his mug.
“So
come on then,” Ron pulled out a chair at the small wooden table next to
his brother. “Why have they sent you? To drag me
kicking and screaming back?”
Charlie
laughed. “No.”
“No?”
“Well.
Dad just thought that you might want someone to talk to about all of
this… family… who’s of the same mind.”
“I
always knew you were gay,” Ron beamed, he loved being right.
“And there was me thinking I did such an amazing job of hiding it,”
he hit the table with a fist.
“So
who knows about you?” Ron frowned.
“Just mum, dad and Bill.” Charlie tapped his nails against his mug.
“I’ve never thought the rest of you needed to know. But
you’re an exception…”
“Awh,
you make me feel so special,” Ron winked, and yawned.
“Did
I wake you up?” Charlie frowned. “It’s midday!”
“Is
it?!”
Up on the
landing, Severus jumped at that. Midday? He
hadn’t slept that long for years.
Charlie
shook his head, “Yeah, see?” He held out his watch for Ron to see.
“Well
we had a bit of a late night. Didn’t get here till late because
SOMEONE,” he raised his voice and looked upward, “Insisted on
driving all the way here.”
“He
drives?” Charlie asked interestedly. “So that’s his battered
mark one Escort outside?”
Ron nodded.
“Drives like a freakin’ maniac.”
“Most
wizards in control of a car do, too cocky, they know
they can pull themselves out of any trouble they get into.” Charlie
grinned. “Remember Dad? Anyway, where is he? I’d like to meet the
man who’s shacked up with my littlest brother and caused such
drama.”
“Upstairs,
hiding probably,” Ron laughed. “And probably
listening in.”
“Go
and get him,” Charlie encouraged. “I promise I’ll be on my
best behaviour. I’m no Fred or George and I never had an issue with him
at school except for once when he took some precious points and he lost us the
House Cup.”
Ron pushed
his chair back and wandered into the hall with his mug still in hand.
“Severus?” He called up the stairs. “Come down… Charlie
wants to say hi.”
Severus
looked round the corner of the stairs and threw a desperate glance at Ron. He
didn’t ‘do’ meeting the family. He’d never had to do it
before!
“He
promises he’ll be on his best behaviour,” Ron cajoled. “He
won’t bite. He’s… like us.”
Swallowing,
Severus walked down the stairs and looked miserably at Ron. “Fine.”
“Be
nice,” Ron murmured quietly, possibly misinterpreting Severus’
reluctance for dislike of his family, rather than just nerves.
Severus
followed him into the kitchen and put his game face on. Charlie Weasley looked
older, taller than he remembered… a broad, friendly face, large muscular
arms, a deep tan. He was getting to his feet and
extended his hand which Severus shook with another smile, he didn’t trust
his voice. He moved back to the counter and leant against it whilst Ron sat
down. So far, so good.
“I
have to congratulate you,” Charlie said to him, sitting down again and
picking up his mug. “You’ve successfully been the first person to
shut my mother up for three full hours in years!”
Ron laughed
and rubbed his fingers over his eyes, “Oh God. Is she really mad?”
“No,”
Charlie shook his head. “You got her care package?”
“Yes,”
Ron said, remembering the food waiting for him in the other room. “Say
thank you for me.”
“We
all had a big discussion over whether the bear would embarrass you. The twins
decided you deserved to be embarrassed and shoved it in anyway.” Charlie
rolled his eyes.
“Oh
God, how are they taking it?”
“I’ll
get to that in a minute,” Charlie patted the pocket of his jeans.
“I have a list of messages I’ve been instructed to read out on pain
of death.”
“Typical.”
“They’re
not really angry, Ron,” Charlie said. “They’re just
protective. And this was such a shock to all of us that it’s just going
to take some time. I think Harry and Hermione’s arrival helped, they
explained a lot about the last two months and your reactions and such. I think
it calmed mum, especially, down a lot. The twins still think someone’s
hexed you, mind.”
“Well
I did wonder at first,” Ron turned his head and winked at Severus, who
managed a weak smile in return.
“There’s
no need to be so nervous,” Charlie looked at him. “Honestly. I come
holding no grudge or anger,” he held his hands up jokingly. “You
might want to give Diagon Alley a wide berth for a while though. I hold no
responsibility for the twins out of my supervision.”
“You
always did have an unusual amount of control over them,” Severus
remembered. “Most of the teaching staff cried the day you left.”
“Teaching
Fred and George… my worst nightmare,” Ron nodded. “So come on
then. This list of messages.”
Charlie
worked a piece of paper out of his jeans and unfolded it. “We had so much
fun putting this together last night,” he laughed. “Right.
The views represented on this paper are not necessarily those of the messenger,”
he began, casting a sweeping glance at both Ron and Severus and winked.
“Bill
says he thinks you’re warped, but then that’s nothing new and
he’s learned to love you anyway. He says if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to call on him and Fleur.
He’s happy for you. Percy… wasn’t available for comment
because he near on passed out. Take from that what you will.”
“Nothing
I could ever do would impress him anyway,” Ron waved a hand. “Learned to live with it now.”
Charlie
ignored him and carried on. “Fred and George.
Well. I don’t often use profanity so I am going to replace the word used
most with something similar, ‘ducking’, if you will, and quote
straight from the paper.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Right. You should know this was mainly Fred. ‘Are you out of your ducking mind?
What the duck have you gone and got yourself ducking into sleeping with that
ducking moron? I mean, what the duck? Ducking hell.
You’re ducking lucky I don’t know where you live because I would
come there and drag you straight ducking back and lock you in a ducking
cupboard for the rest of your life, you ducking loser.’ And then George
adds, ‘Whilst I don’t understand you or your choices right now,
you’re still my brother and I’m not changing that just because you
followed your balls to pastures greener.’”
Ron was
shaking with laughter. Even Severus was smiling as he determinedly looked out
of the kitchen window.
“Ginny
has similar sentiments to George, and says that if you’d like to explain
yourself she’ll listen but only if you bring a bucket,” he cast an
apologetic glance at Severus, who was still looking in the garden. “Harry
sends his condolences and hopes it’s worth it. Hermione sends her love,
says she misses you and wants to come and see you soon if that’s
okay. Mum and Dad say they hope you’re okay, that they love you, and that
they can’t wait to see you both
at Harry’s eighteenth birthday/end of school party next week, and mum
isn’t taking no for an answer. The suitcase is full of clothes and some
of your things from your room so you can feel at home in your new home.”
He threw
the piece of paper down and took a deep drink of tea. “Done.”
“Well.
Such a vocal lot,” Ron rolled his eyes, unable to fight the swelling
feeling in his chest. He felt so much better now.
“Aye,”
Charlie drained his cup. “Would have been more alarming
if they’d kept quiet though.”
“True,”
Ron laughed. He turned in his seat and said to Severus, “Sorry my brother
called you a moron.”
Dragged
back to the conversation, Severus pulled out the last chair and sat down.
“That’s nothing, your brother has called
me far worse in the past.”
“They
all probably have,” Ron said fairly. “Lets not
single Fred out here.”
“And
more to the point he was probably right,” Severus shrugged. “But I
challenge either of you to get that pair sitting down and learning without
losing your temper.”
“Oh
believe me,” Charlie nodded, “I know.”
Severus was
beginning to feel more at ease until Charlie said, “So you’ll come
to the party then? I’ll be there,” he said like it was a bargaining
tool. “I’m taking a break over here for a few weeks.”
“Oh
brilliant,” Ron grinned, “Quidditch summer tournament?”
“Oh
yes,” Charlie nodded. “And I can wipe the floor with you like
normal.”
“I
wouldn’t be so sure,” Severus smiled. “I lost a bet to him
recently because he pulled out all the stops on his playing during the final
match of the season.”
“Oh get over it already,” Ron poked him on the arm.
“It’s not like you couldn’t afford it and a little humility
is good for you and your house.”
“You
thrashed us 300-0. That’s not humility, that’s
heartbreaking.”
“Well
put a better team together next year… without me and Harry you might
stand a chance.”
“Oh!”
Charlie exclaimed. “Your exam results, mum wanted to know and Hermione
said she should ask you.
Ron
grinned. “Exceeds Expectations in everything except for
Potions… which I got an Outstanding in.”
Charlie
looked at Severus. “I promise you it was all his own work and I refused
to revise with him as it gave him an unfair advantage.”
“Wow,
well done Ron, you’ve trumped me, that’s for sure!”
“It’s
not a competition” Ron shook his head. “And I still don’t
know how it happened anyway. I’ll get you the official transcript in a
second so you can take it to her so she can add it to her collection.”
“Collection?” Severus asked.
“Mum
has our entire big exam results kept together in a special place,” Ron
explained, “So she can leaf through and be proud when we’re all
pissing her off so much she wants to throw us out.”
“Ah
right,” Severus nodded. “Your mother sounds very wise.”
“Wise
and half demented,” Ron smiled sweetly with a roll of his eyes.
“So
is that a yes to the party? I was told not to leave here without an
answer…”
Ron looked
at Severus, who looked desperately back. “They’ll eat me
alive,” Severus whispered conspiratorially.
“They
will not,” Charlie interrupted, “I won’t let them. They will
all be on their best behaviour.”
“Have
to face the music some time, it might as well be now if they’re
willing,” Ron looked at him. “Come on. Be brave.”
Brave doesn’t even come into
it. This is beyond brave, it might be
fucking suicidal. “Fine,
we’ll be there.”
“Great!”
Charlie beamed, Severus noted he had the same smile as
Ron. “I’ll get off now then, leave you two
to wake up properly. He got up and pushed his chair under the table.
He pulled
his brother into a hug and ruffled his hair, then shook Severus’ hand.
“I’ll
show you out,” Ron smiled, walking into the hallway.
Giving them
privacy, Severus stayed in the kitchen and collected the cups. He heard the
door open and Ron and Charlie talking, but not what was being said.
“Where
did you get those bruises on your wrists,” Charlie asked in a low
whisper.
Ron glanced
down, he hadn’t even looked at them. “Oh!
Christ. I can just imagine how this looks.”
“He’s
not hurting you, forcing you to do anything against your will?”
“When
have I ever allowed anyone to force me to do anything against my will without
making one almighty racket, Charlie?”
Charlie
looked at him seriously.
“It’s
nothing bad, I promise. I’m not going to tell you where I got them
because you’re my brother and it might make you feel a bit ill.”
“Oh!”
Charlie had the good grace to blush. “Right, no I don’t wanna know
that.”
Ron’s
leg brushed against his trunk. “Oh wait, the
exam results for Mum.”
He got down
and rummaged through the trunk until he found the purple envelope.
“There. She’s probably going to think I faked it or
something.”
Charlie
laughed. “She won’t.”
He waved goodbye
and Ron grinned and closed the door. Taking a deep breath, he turned around and
walked back into the kitchen, where Severus was looking out of the back door.
“He
asked me where my bruises came from,” Ron explained, waving his wrist
about.
“Oh
Merlin it looks like I’m abusing you,” Severus sounded horrified.
“What did you tell him?”
“I
implied they came from rough sexual practice that I instigated.”
“Not
that I pinned you down to the floor then… well, that was kind of half
true, I suppose.”
Ron laughed
and hauled the suitcase Charlie had bought with him on to the kitchen table.
Severus disappeared into the bathroom and came back clutching a jar.
“Wrists,” he commanded, and Ron stopped opening the case to dangle
them out. Severus massaged the cream into the bruised flesh with gentle
fingers, and watched with a smile as they instantly began to fade and heal.
“Well
aren’t you clever,” Ron smiled, and went to turn his fingers back
to the case when the doorbell rang again. He looked at Severus.
“Expecting anyone?”
Severus
shook his head. “I rarely get visitors here.”
Curiously
Ron walked out into the hall and up to the door. As he pulled it open, there
was a shriek and someone threw himself at him. Well fuck me. “Mum?”
Ron was gripped
tight, so tight he couldn’t breathe. “Mum, what’s the
matter?”
She finally
released him and looked at him with her eyes positively shining. “These
are the matter!” He recognised his results as she waved them around in
her hand, whilst shutting the door behind her with the other.
“You’ve done so well!”
Ron blushed
and grinned a little nervously. “Thanks,
mum…”
“An
outstanding grade is just wonderful, Oh, come here…” she grabbed
him again.
Severus
stood watching the exchange from the kitchen wondering where he could
successfully hide. Brothers were one thing… parents were in a whole other
league. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
“And
so this is where you live?” She looked about her, taking in the wallpaper
and the trunks still in the hall from their late arrival. “Are you
okay?”
Ron nodded
and found the smile back on his face. “I really am, mum.”
“Charlie
said you were. I wanted to come and congratulate you on these
myself!” She shook the paper again and squeezed.
Ron laughed
and put his arms around her, feeling a rush of love and warmth which he could
only get from hugging his mother. She smelt like normal, of flowers and
cooking, the scent made his stomach lurch a little at the thought of home.
“So
come on then,” she whispered in Ron’s ear. “Where is he? Let
me at him.”
“Be
nice,” Ron said sternly. “One family member was probably quite
enough for today.”
Molly made
a derisive sound, “I couldn’t not come and congratulate you.
He’ll have to put up with me like I’m putting up with him.”
Ron
chuckled and turned around, guiding her with his hand on her back towards the
kitchen.
“Severus,”
he looked at him, then to Molly, “Mother. Mother, Severus.”
She’s tiny. Why is something
so tiny so terrifying… oh of course, that’s right, because
you’re sodomising her son. Pervert. Cradle snatcher. Dirty
old man.
“Molly,” he inclined his head, hating how pathetic his voice
sounded.
“Severus,”
Molly smiled.
Ron watched
the exchange with his eyes darting from one to the other worrying who was going
to freak out first. He knew that although Severus acted very calmly on the
outside, right about now he was probably planning to dig to Australia if he could manage it.
“We
shouldn’t be strangers,” Molly said decisively. “If I know my
son at all we’ll have to put up with each other for many years to come so
we might as well be polite about it.”
Ron laughed
and moved -oh my God what are you doing
you foolish boy, don’t provoke her!- to put his arm around
Severus’ waist. Molly stared at him, trying to make up her mind how to
react to that.
“Stand
up straight, Ron, don’t slouch,” she said, seeing his shoulders
curve.
He laughed
again, some things never changed. “Would you like a cup of tea,
Mum?”
“Love
one,” she smiled, turning to look out of the back window into the
overgrown garden.
Severus
stood like a sore thumb, really not knowing what to do or say. Be polite. People love it when people are
polite. “Thank you for the food you sent,” he said to Molly.
“Oh
it was nothing,” She waved her hand, and put the suitcase Ron had never
got to open back on the floor. “Didn’t take me long at all and it
should keep you going for a few weeks.”
“More
like a few months,” Ron interjected, boiling the kettle again.
“Not
the way you stuff it down,” Molly said pointedly. “I wish I could eat
like you and not have it make any effect on me at all.”
“Well,
maybe what Bill always said will come true… me and him will wake up one
day and we’ll be so porky we can’t get out of bed.”
“Your
father’s belly caught up with him,” Molly conceded. “So don’t
get too cocky because it might you too.”
Ron laughed
and shook his head. “Never.” He handed her a mug of tea.
“Thank
you dear,” she smiled. “Now sit down and tell me what you plan to
do with yourself this summer.”
“Not
much to say really,” Ron shrugged. “I know Harry wants my help with
some stuff. I need to think about a job and such.”
“No
forerunners?”
Ron shook
his head.
“Well with your outstanding Potions grade you could do anything on that
side of things. You could work in the hospital. I’ve always wanted one of
my sons to be a Healer!”
“I
don’t think I’m… co-ordinated enough to fix other
people,” Ron laughed.
“Rubbish,” Severus said without thinking. “You could do it
standing on your head.”
Molly
looked at him with appraising eyes. She didn’t know what she was
expecting, whether Severus would continually run her son into the ground…
but he had just complimented him.
“Severus
is right,” Molly nodded. Bugger me.
Ron
shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t know yet.”
“Well
you’ve got plenty of time yet,” Severus reasoned. “No need to
rush into anything.”
“But
don’t take too long,” Molly said pointedly. “You’ll
need money.”
“No
he doesn’t,” Severus said calmly, taking a sip of his tea.
Molly
stared at him across her own mug. “He should learn the value of money
though.”
“He
will,” Severus conceded. “But. First he should have the easy summer
not everyone is lucky enough to get when they first leave school.”
She quietly
drank some more tea and looked at Ron, who had gone very quiet. She knew her
son was proud when it came to money issues and knew that he wouldn’t live
off his boyfriend for long before his pride kicked in and he had to get his own
income. She was relying on it.
“So,
Hermione tells me that you looked very handsome at the Ball night before
last,” she teased him, “She’s promised me a copy of the
picture of you two together. It’s a shame we couldn’t have one of
you with the person you really wanted to be there with.”
“It
wasn’t really a sensible move,” Ron shrugged. “Severus still
needs to return to teach there next year and the parents might not exactly
approve…”
“Hmm,”
Molly drank again. “No. You’re right. Still. It would have been
nice if you could have spent the evening with the person you really felt
for.”
She noticed
Ron’s hand creep across the wood to rest on top of Severus. It
wasn’t as unnatural as she thought it might be to see.
“It
would have,” Ron said quietly. “But still. We can be together now
and nobody gives a damn.”
“I
have a question about that, actually,” Molly had been going to save it,
but seeing as they were all on such genial terms, it seemed easiest to ask it
now. “Severus, forgive me… but I know you work for Albus as a spy,
sometimes… against You-Know-Who. I trust you aren’t putting my son
in mortal danger by getting close to him?”
Ron’s
mug hit the wood with a clunk, he looked at Severus.
“I
don’t work as much as I once did,” Severus said quietly. “The
Dark Lord’s trust in me rather diminished after seeing Harry Potter every
day for years and refusing to lay a finger on him. I am no longer so welcome in
his circles as I was. I have the best possible protection on the house, and I
am a skilled Occlumens. If my involvement were to take a sudden upturn, I would
have no hesitation in removing Ron from my presence for the meantime.”
Molly glanced
at Ron to see how he’d take this. She could taste the tension in the air
and could tell it wasn’t something previously discussed.
“No,”
Ron shook his head. “You can’t just ship me out when the water gets
hot. I’ve been in enough hot water without you; you forget exactly who my
best friend is. I’m in this for the long haul.”
Severus
sighed and took a sip of tea. Instead of the small victory she hoped
she’d feel, Molly actually felt a little guilty that she seemed to have
planted the seed of an argument between them. She set her mug down. “Well
there’s no need to worry about all that now, is there…”
Severus
looked at her thankfully and put his mug down too.
“I’ll
be off… I only came to congratulate Ron on his results.” She smiled
at them both, “I’ll see you both next week at the party.”
Ron got to
his feet and gave her a hug and peck on the cheek. “Thanks for coming
mum, it was… great of you to come. Love you.”
“Love
you too, my darling,” she kissed his forehead. “Be good. And if you
can’t be good be careful. See you soon, Severus,” she placed a hand
on his shoulder.
It nearly
made him jump out of his skin. “Goodbye, Molly, it was nice to see
you,” he answered automatically, not really leaving his thoughts.
The issue
of Ron and his work as a spy had been one he had studiously ignored for the
last two months. He had hoped to continue ignoring it but Molly had re-ignited
it in his mind. He heard Ron shut the door and lope back into the kitchen,
pausing to look out of the back door at the wild jungle of grass.
“Do
you want me to cut that for you?” he asked, taking his seat again.
“What?”
Severus muttered.
“The
grass. It’s a mess.”
“No,
it’s fine,” Severus lowered his eyes to the wood.
“Severus?”
Ron asked, reaching out a hand to his face. “What’s the matter? My
mother’s gone and put the wind up you, hasn’t she?”
Severus
managed to nod, fighting the image of the crumpled, bloodied Ron from his
dreams.
“Look,”
Ron moved his chair closer. “I’ve always known about that aspect of
your job. I know what you are. And I know it’s why nobody else but me
trusts you. I just figured we’d cross the bridge when we came to it. But
seriously, you are not shipping me back home at the first sign of danger. I can
take care of myself.”
“You
don’t know what you’re saying,” Severus finally spoke fully.
“You don’t know the things they can do… that pathetic
teaching they give you at school is ridiculous. They teach you fear of Avada
Kedavra, like that’s the worse thing they can inflict on you after a
couple of rounds of the Cruciatus curse. I’ve been subjected to far worse
than that, Ron, it’s no picnic. They can fuck you up good and proper, and
no, you can’t protect yourself from it because nobody can. Even me.
I’m no match for the magic they use. They can break your body in every way…
and where they have the advantage on the muggles is that they can continue down
the garden path and tear your soul into shreds as well.”
He fell
silent.
“Well,
that’s me told,” Ron muttered, leaning back in his chair.
“But know this. You once told me you weren’t in this for
‘shits and giggles’. Well neither am I.
This is a full blown, grown up relationship and it needs for both of us to be
on the same page, or we’ll never make it. You need to accept that and
stop nannying me before you choke me.”
Severus
looked at his defiant face and wondered what he’d have to say to make him
understand. “You don’t…”
“I
don’t know my own mind, I know, I don’t know anything about the
world, or of pain, or how truly fucking nasty people can be.” Ron held up
his hands. “But I listen to you talk in your sleep at night, Severus, and
hold you when you scream. So I’ve got as good as an idea as I’m
going to get without having them break all my bones, burn my soul and infest my
brain.”
Severus’
eyes widened with horror. “You’ve never told me this
before…what you’ve heard.”
Ron
shrugged. “It’s not important. What is important is that I’m
there when you’re in tears in the middle of the night, and I’m
holding you telling you it’s all okay and that I’m there for you.
That’s important. I don’t care what’s coming.”
Severus
grasped his hand out of the air and wrestled it to his lips. “Ron, you
should have told me. It must be distressing… what have you heard?”
Ron licked
his lips nervously. “The one you mention most frequently is someone
called Smith.”
Severus
felt the blood drain from his face. If he was screaming about that then Ron
knew exactly what a monster he was.
“It’s
okay,” Ron turned on his most soothing voice, leaning over and caressing
his face.
“It
most certainly is not,” Severus got to his feet.
“Okay,
I’m putting my foot down,” Ron said, taking Severus’ hand and
pulling him up the stairs.
“About
what exactly?” Severus questioned.
Ron pulled
him into the bedroom and crawled back into the bed, making sure Severus came
down with him. When he was satisfied Severus was lying down, he pulled the
covers over both their heads.
“Ron,
what the-”
“Right.
Talk. You clearly have an issue saying these things to my face, so say them to
the nothingness. Don’t think about my face, don’t think about
anything. Just answer my questions.”
“Okay,”
Severus closed his eyes obediently. It was odd how much more secluded he felt,
with the sheets over his face.
“Who
was Robert Smith?”
“He
was a muggle that presided over a block of flats where someone lived that we
needed information from… that we had orders to extract the information
from at all costs.”
“A
security guard?” Ron asked.
“Yes. How did you know?”
“Not
important. What happened when you went to the flat to find the person you
needed information from?”
“We
got it, easily. She was…easy, to break. I had no part in that. I merely
kept watch outside.”
“And
this person, Robert Smith, heard the struggle, and came to investigate.”
“Yes,”
Severus breathed. “He was concerned, and rightly. A young woman in her
twenties screaming like that… it would have worried any decent
man.”
“So
what did you do, when he approached you?”
“I
stopped him. I immobilised him, he fell over. He was of no consequence to me, I
would have released the spell when we were far enough away… but those
with me weren’t so inclined to benevolence. They stopped, and asked me
why I hadn’t killed him. I told them he had no part in anything and was
an innocent bystander. They laughed, told me there was no such thing and that I
was so naïve… one of them shoved me into a wall and told me that I
was going to do it…”
“Right,”
Ron found his hand and squeezed. It was meant as a sign of support but it made
Severus falter. “And then they told you what to do?”
“Yes,”
he breathed. “I knew all the spells myself but they insisted on treating
me like an idiot. I was young and stupid… so that poor man, he suffered
much more than he needed to, just because I wanted to prove myself.”
“What
did you do to him?” Ron asked soberly.
“Ron,
I can’t-”
“I
already know,” he whispered, rolling close. “But you need to say
this aloud.”
Severus was
very quiet as he went on. “I broke his legs, I cut him using
Sectumsempra… I used muggle things, first, secretly hoping that he would
pass out before I got to the wizard stuff… he wouldn’t. The fear in
his eyes. I can see it now. I knew what I was doing was evil, I knew it and yet
I couldn’t stop because I couldn’t lose face.” He was
surprised to feel wetness around his eyes. “I moved on to other things,
cruciatus, a spell which would burn and ice at the same time… I kept on.
I finally killed him with Avada Kedavra, as soon as the others heard a noise
and wanted to bolt.”
Tears were
falling. “I know,” Ron whispered. “You’ve said that to
me all before in your sleep… but you scream like it’s you
that’s being tortured… your limbs jerk all over the place.
Sometimes I have to immobilise you to stop you hurting yourself…”
“Oh
Merlin,” Severus gasped, his face flooded with salty wetness.
“It’s
okay,” Ron properly moved to put his arms around him and to push his face
into the warmth of his neck.
The
sensation of crying was beyond Severus… he found himself doing so for the
second time in a week after over twenty years of never shedding a tear. Ron
stroked his hair gently, over and over, rocking him slightly and kissing his
forehead every so often, letting him cry it out.
It was so
odd to see Severus cry when he was only ever a pillar of rock, unable to be
moved. It hurt his heart to watch.
“You
should have told me,” Severus howled against the skin of his neck.
“Why didn’t you say…”
“Because
I was scared you’d want to stop me sleeping with you,” Ron answered
truthfully. “And I needed you.”
“Why?”
“Because
I needed your strength…” Ron admitted, a little ashamed. “I
was scared of losing you. I still am.”
Severus
finally moved his face up and kissed Ron gently. Ron could taste his tears.
“You won’t lose me.”
“No?”
Ron murmured, closing his eyes.
“I’m
in far too deep to go anywhere,” Severus’ voice actually wobbled.
“Far, far too deep. I met your mother… Ron I’ve never met
anyone’s mother before. Ever. I’m thirty nine.”
Ron kissed
him, still keeping his eyes shut. “You must really fucking love me
then.”
“I
really fucking must, yes,” he whispered, sniffing a little.
“And
I love you. And that means being accepting your past… and holding you in
the night. I’m surprised you don’t remember it though.”
“I
thought they’d been lesser, since I started sleeping with you. I thought
they’d left me alone…”
“Maybe
it’s because you have me there,” Ron suggested. “Maybe the
fact I do hold you, and I try to calm you down, and I wipe away your tears and
your snot and I love you through it… maybe it means you’re not
haunted by it when the morning comes.”
Severus
clutched at him. “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like
you, Ron.”
“I
don’t believe in stuff like that,” Ron said. “I don’t
believe we did anything to deserve each other… why should we have to
‘deserve’ happiness? It’s every person’s right, it
shouldn’t be a privilege for only a select few.”
Severus
didn’t reply. Instead he squeezed Ron again, feeling healthier inside.
Ron kissed his forehead and sighed.
“I
know its early days and all,” Severus said quietly. “But I really
do believe you’re the best thing that could happen to me, Ron.”
Ron smiled.
“And I know you’re the best thing for me.”
They lay
contentedly for a while until Ron shifted onto his back beneath the sheets.
“Do
you have anything you need to let out whilst we’re in the mystical tent
of secrecy?” Severus asked him.
“I
do,” Ron’s voice wavered a little.
“Go
on,” Severus found his hand.
“My
mum came and saw me here… she came into your house… and she talked
to you… and she didn’t kill you. She didn’t try to take me
away.” He breathed. “Is it strange that I actually feel a little
abandoned?”
Severus
rolled over to stroke his stomach through his screwed up thin t-shirt.
“No, it’s not… you were built up for a bigger fight.”
“And I
love being here with you, and living with you. Waking up this morning next to
you, even though you were all sweaty and scared, was amazing. I feel like
I’m adult, all of a sudden… and my god it feels good… but. I
don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“This
is a big change… You need time to adjust, is all.”
“I’m
not just being a sap?”
“Of
course you’re not being a sap,” Severus dismissed him.
“You’re dealing with an awful lot… and I hope that the second
you find it too much, you’re going to tell me.”
“Oh I
will,” Ron said, “You know me, I can’t keep my emotions in
for longer than it takes my tiny brain to feel them.”
Severus
slapped him on the stomach. “Stop it.”
Ron fell
silent and breathed in and out purposefully.
“I
have a question for you,” Severus murmured. “Is there anything you
need me to explain… sexually… whilst we’re in the mystical
tent of secrecy.”
“I
think I’m pretty much covered…”
“What
about if I said that next time, I want you to take me? Would you know what to
do?”
“I
think I could manage it.”
“Prove
it,” Severus breathed shakily.
Ron rolled
on top of him and kneed his legs apart without hesitation. He kissed down
Severus’ neck and licked at the base of his throat, extracting a groan
from him. Before Severus could really tell what was happening, Ron was tearing
his trousers off his body, kicking them off the end of the bed before turning
his attention to his own, squirming his hips out of them in a delicious way
which made Severus instantly hard. Before they’d had sex on his last
night at school, Severus had had to stop himself everywhere, stop his eyes from
following those delicious hips. Ron was removing his top, stomach flattening as
his arms stretched above his head. Then he fell back down, his face inches from
Severus’ groin. He kissed his way up his shaft and licked gently at the
top. Severus couldn’t help the groan that bubbled up out of his throat.
It had been a long time since he hadn’t been the one on top. He realised
his hands were shaking.
“Any
limitations?” Ron asked quietly, his hands on Severus’ hips.
“Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Severus
looked at him, confused. What was Ron asking him? Permission? Or just
submittal?
Sensing the
confusion he’d caused, Ron looked up, “Do I have free reign to do
whatever I want to you?”
Blue eyes
bore into black and Severus’ breathing accelerated… he didn’t
like being out of control, he liked being the controller, he liked being the
one doing the fucking… But Ron was looking at him with a sort of
possessive fire in his eyes, one he found delicious. With a slight nod of his
head, he complied.
Nothing
could have prepared him for what was about to happen. He saw something shift in
Ron’s demeanour, possessive switched to a relishing look in his eyes as
he fingered his wand lightly. Then he flicked it, and Severus found his arms
forced upwards, pinned, and his legs separated and restricted. His stomach
flipped and he gasped in a mixture of fear and surprise. Ron smiled at him,
then ducked his head to his stomach, where he kissed softly. His hands ran up
to unbutton the shirt that Severus was still wearing, having never remembered
to remove it. It didn’t matter to Ron, in fact it made the scene in front
of his eyes even more pleasing, seeing Severus, normally so reserved and neat,
pinned to the bed with only one item of clothing on, his hair in disarray and
erection straining even though Ron had barely begun.
He leant up
over Severus and smirked at him. “It’s such a power trip to see you
like this,” he hissed. “Naked, tied down… desperate.”
He trailed a finger up Severus’ cock.
Severus
could hardly believe what he was hearing; he couldn’t decide whether he
liked it, or whether he liked the smirk on Ron’s lips. It reminded him of
too many other times… but then he wasn’t speaking out. He still had
his voice. He could have asked Ron stop, but he wasn’t doing so. Ron
seemed to notice that too, and Severus realised he’d take it as a
wordless confirmation of compliance.
“You
act so big and strong, you took me with all the authority of what you
are,” Ron hissed again, trailing the finger again.
Oh fucking Jesus.
“You
put me against that bedpost and you fucked me, you took my virginity fisting me
off in the process. When I came over your hand you came in me…” He
dropped his head to lick the shell of Severus’ ear, which evoked a
shudder. “You made me your own in a way which I’d never known was
possible…”
Severus’
cock grew harder at the thought of Ron against the bedpost, his creamy backside
sticking out waiting to be invaded. He groaned.
“Yes. It made you feel big, didn’t it, taking me?” Ron
wrapped a whole hand around Severus’ cock now, feeling the heat.
“You had complete control. Well… you have absolutely no control
now….” He moved his hand up and down cruelly slow. “And that
makes me feel big and strong. You are mine,” he whispered simply.
“Mine and I will do what I want to with you.”
His hand
sped up and Severus was lost in a torrent of thought and lust. He had simply
never dared to let himself dream of Ron acting in such a way, although
he’d wanted to. He’d been denying himself the thoughts for two
months, and he had had to fight harder than anything before.
“You’re
a desperate little whore,” Ron whispered again. “I know you want
this… I know you want me like this. You don’t only scream in terror
in the night… you scream about wanting this. And I’m giving you
want you want.”
Severus
groaned and pushed his hips up to meet Ron’s hand.
“Tied
down, powerless… you just want the world to stop and let you off…
you want to let go of everything,” Ron licked the shell of his ear again.
“Well here you are.” He sped his hand into a rhythm, forming a firm
shape with his hand to rub over the ridge near the top.
“Fuck,
Ron…” Severus spoke for the first time, face flooding with colour.
“I
will, in a moment,” Ron breathed, and used his tongue to bypass the shell
of the ear, and licked deeper, keeping up his hand movements.
Severus
didn’t know where his reaction came from, but he found himself crying out
in pleasure, writhing against Ron, bucking into his hand with desperation previously
unknown. His self control, he knew, lay in tatters on the floor. He had
nothing. Ron had broken through him with a simple lick in his ear. He heard a
laugh. Ron was laughing at him.
“You
don’t know how wild that drives me,” he whispered in a calm voice,
his breath catching on the wetness where his tongue had just vacated.
“Your cries alone just nearly made me come.”
Severus
bucked into his hand again, his desperation increasing. He felt ashamed of
himself but he couldn’t make it stop.
“Don’t
be embarrassed,” Ron stilled his hand and got the reaction he wanted
instantly.
“Don’t stop,” Severus begged. “Don’t stop. So
good…”
Ron smiled
at the pathetic attempt at conversation. Severus was normally so skilled with
his tongue. His cock throbbed as he thought about Severus’ tongue. An
idea came to him, but he was scared to put it to fruition. But, he realised, as
Severus groaned, he had permission to do what he wanted.
“I’m
stopping because you’re going to give me some of that special attention
from your tongue,” Ron informed him, sounding braver than he felt. He
shifted up so he was positioned over his shoulders and neck, and looked down at
the face staring up at him. The expression was of shock.
Oh god he wants me to…
he’s forcing me to…
Ron took
himself in his own hand for a moment, stroking in the way that only he knew
how. He emitted a little groan and bought his other hand to Severus’
hair, spreading his long fingers in it. “Now then…” he guided
the tip of it to Severus’ slightly parted lips.
You fucking whore… you fucking
whore… Severus was chanting the insult in his
mind but he knew it was just his lust talking. Ron was doing absolutely
everything right. Severus had always, always had a penchant for people forcing
him to suck them… even if he didn’t like the ending, he found the
beginning a sexual thrill.
Ron pushed
his cock into the wet mouth and said. “Lick.”
Severus
obeyed, closing his eyes and enjoying the taste. It was the same as before. He
inhaled and smelt the musky scent again. Ron still hadn’t washed from
their first time.
Ron looked
down and watched as he saw Severus’ face accommodate him, and moaned, his
breathing pattern switching to a short gasping. “Oh fuck that feels
good.”
Severus
licked harder, feeling the straining at his crotch. The last time he’d
done this, he had use of his hands, but now he was very aware that the only
assets he had were his tongue and his lips. Ron rocked forward slightly and
slid further in, so he could no longer lick and had to suck instead. His favourite
type of moan started coming out of Ron’s throat, that continual, low
growl.
Severus
swallowed and made a groan of his own, the appreciative sound which seemed to
work so well, on both of them. He regretted it instantly. Ron jerked backwards
out of his mouth. Severus’ view consisted of his cock and the string of
saliva running between it and his own mouth. It made him even harder.
“That
was a bad move,” Ron advised him. “One might even say it was
deserving of punishment.”
Severus
looked on anxiously as Ron picked up his wand again. Another flick, and Severus
found himself kneeling, facing the wall. He watched in dismay as Ron pointed
his wand at the wall and it became a mirrored surface. Shame flooded
Severus’ body as he looked at it in the mirror, kneeling, his hands now
bound behind his back, legs still forced apart. His erection stared him in the
face, hideously red and ugly. His breathing sped up as he tried to look
anywhere but at himself. This was not part of his fantasy.
Ron came up
behind him and pressed his naked body into the man in front of him, hands
sliding possessively round his torso. He looked over Severus’ shoulder
into the mirror.
“You
don’t like the sight of yourself like this, do you?” He whispered,
placing a kiss on the pale shoulder his head was resting on. “It
embarrasses you… no. More than that. It’s tearing you up looking at
yourself like this, isn’t it?”
Severus was
beyond the capability to lie. He was raw and open for Ron to see anyway. He
gave a small nod and let his hand hang.
“I know
it does,” Ron said, his hand trailing downwards to fondle Severus’
cock, still hard despite the blow his confidence had just taken. “But you
need to learn that you’re a sexual being, and that there’s no shame
in it… I see your guarded movements, the way you have these sexual
thoughts but you recoil from them, like you’re ashamed of them. You
should never be ashamed of your sexuality.”
He settled
his hand into a rhythm again, milking the shaft with a firm grip. Severus
shuddered in his arms, then shuddered again as he saw it in the mirror.
“Ron, I can’t-”
“You
can, and you will,” Ron commanded, speeding up his strokes. “You
are going to sit here and watch yourself spill all over my hand.”
“No,
don’t.”
“This
is not up for discussion,” Ron whispered, his chest fluttering at the
power.
He stuck
his tongue back in Severus’ ear and was pleased to hear the cry again,
the writhing against his arms. He sped his hand up, grinding his cock between
the tight buttocks in front of him. He ached with his own need but he wanted
this done first. Severus groaned again and Ron worked his hand faster, pushing
Severus’ hips back into his. He watched his face in the mirror.
“Open
your eyes,” he hissed, realising Severus had them closed as his face
contorted with ecstasy at the end of each stroke.
No, please fucking
don’t… don’t make me… uuhuhuhuhuhohh.
Severus
managed to crack open his eyes and see them in the mirror, the desperation on
his face, Ron’s determination and lustful eyes, the hand moving over his
cock with precision. He bucked his hips.
“That’s it, Severus,” Ron whispered. “Come for me, you
know you want to… you want to come all over my hand and then you want to
see me raise it to my mouth and lick it off. You know you want it,” he
milked harder, well aware of the escalating grunts coming involuntarily from
Severus’ mouth.
He knew it
would take very little to push Severus and feeling like he’d pushed his
own patience enough, he did it. He inserted his tongue again and groaned
appreciatively as he did so. Instantly he knew that it had worked. He raised
his free hand to Severus’ face, holding it so it couldn’t turn
away, but there was no need. He saw, as the body in front of him gave way to
jerking back and forth, Severus’ eyes were trained to his ejaculation,
watching as it leaked over Ron’s hand, over his fingers, down onto the
sheets. His breathing was hoarse and he shuddered to a stop with a cry.
Aware that
he was not finished, Ron dropped the penis and did exactly what he had
whispered minutes earlier. He raised the hand to his mouth and let Severus
watch, with widened eyes, as he licked his hand clean. It tasted salty but not
unpleasant.
“Oh
Merlin,” Severus panted, as Ron dropped his hand again.
To prove
that nothing was finished, Ron ground his hips into Severus’ buttocks
again and whispered, “You told me to prove I could take you, so I’m
going to.”
He grabbed
his wand and Severus fell forward as his binding was cast off. Ron caught him
and with deft hands turned him onto his back, bringing his legs up towards his
chest. Lubricating his fingers, Ron hurried in response to his own need…
what lover could watch their partner come so intimately and not be driven mad
with the lust? He entered one finger into Severus and paused for the gasps to
subside. He stretched with haste, knowing that he was moving too fast but he
couldn’t help it. He knew his hand was trembling. He pulled back and
added a second finger, making a scissoring motion when he was inside. Severus
was groaning again, frozen into place with his legs raised. Ron could feel that
Severus wasn’t relaxing as much as he himself had done two days ago. He
entered a third finger and really worked, tingling all over when Severus cried
out as he scraped his prostate. Ron had enough, he couldn’t wait. He
lubricated his cock and leaned forward, positioning himself above Severus.
Unsure, he used his hand to guide himself to the right place and with a nervous
feeling in his stomach, pushed.
He cried
out in surprise and found Severus doing the same. He had never taken the time
to consider how he would manage this, only ever been confident that he could do
it. His mistake was stupid, he realised, as he panicked slightly, trying to
push further but unable to do so.
“Relax,”
he begged Severus without thinking. “Relax, let me in.”
Severus
closed his eyes and transferred his hands onto Ron’s back. Ron found
himself able to push further, until a cry came out of Severus’ lips. He
bent down and kissed them, all traces of his previous teasing harshness gone.
Now he felt different, he couldn’t keep up the part doing this, it was
too intimate, too deep. “Oh fuck,” he heard himself say, as
pleasure ripped down the nerves in his penis. “Oh my God. Severus,
Severus I…”
He felt
himself thrusting wildly, and the pleasure increased. He was gasping insanely,
sometimes ducking to kiss Severus, sometimes not. He hissed his name again and
felt himself lurch forward. He wasn’t even controlling his actions now.
All he wanted was release and he knew it would come if he kept on moving.
Below him, Severus
sensed that something had changed, that Ron was no longer playing the charade,
but was really lost in the first time sensation. Severus couldn’t blame
him. He wanted to help. So, he crept his hand down along Ron’s spine,
over the curve of his arse, and rubbed his finger tip over the puckered
entrance. Ron gave a cry and lurched forward again, putting his face to
Severus’ shoulder in shame.
“Don’t
be ashamed,” Severus whispered, his free hand pushing lightly into
Ron’s back, holding back the gasp as his penis was trapped completely
between them. He pushed into Ron and kissed his neck.
That was
all it took. Ron knew his limits were flattened and there were no barriers left
to stop what was coming. He yelled into Severus shoulder as his hips lurched, his
dick spasmed and the world turned disappeared into blackness as he slammed his
eyelids shut. The rush of warmth burned in the most delicious way and he cried
out again.
He emptied
himself into the tight crevice with dizzying slowness, feeling heavy and light
all at once. Severus removed his finger and wrapped both arms tightly around
his sweaty back.
“Are
you okay?” He whispered.
Ron
couldn’t find the energy to answer. He couldn’t even move. He was
stuck in the dizzy heights even though his ejaculation was now over.
“Ron?”
Severus asked again, feeling the new weight that Ron’s body seemed to
take on.
Oh my god… you’ve…
oh my god. Severus
shook Ron against him and called his name more loudly. Stuck beneath the weight
of Ron’s unresponsive body, Severus struggled. He bought his hand to the
side of Ron’s face and slapped gentle, feeling relief as he felt breath
come from Ron’s nose. “Ron, wake up. Come back to me.”
The voice
was far off to Ron, but he knew he had to open his eyes to please the voice, it
sounded so worried. He tried and failed. The voice grew more anxious, so he
tried again. This time he was blinded by the skin of the person calling him.
“Oh
thank Christ,” Severus breathed, taking his face in his hands.
“Ron, for fuck’s sake. You passed out on me.”
“I
what?” Ron mumbled stupidly.
“You passed out,” Severus stroked the side of his face.
“It’s okay, though, don’t worry. You... well. That was a
pretty spectacular first attempt at buggery.”
Ron managed
to crack a smile and shifted his hips to pull out of Severus. He rolled onto
his back and put a hand over his eyes, but not before he saw the mirror and
embarrassment came to him over how commanding he’d been. “I’m
sorry about the mirror… I’m sorry I made you do that… I
don’t know what came over me.”
“Don’t
apologise…” Severus turned to him. “That was singularly the
most exhilarating experience of my life.”
“But
you looked like you hated it.”
“Because
the humiliation was there… but looking back on it… it was just
amazing.”
Ron smiled
again. “See. I told you knew what to do.”
“I
will never, ever question your sexual competence again,” Severus
breathed.
Ron laughed
shakily. “God, I need a shower.”
***
“I
don’t want to go,” Severus said grumpily, smoothing his hair behind
his ear looking in the mirror.
Ron gave a
dry laugh at how their positions had been reversed. “You accepted the
invitation, you’re going!” He clumsily finished wrapping
Harry’s birthday present, new Seeker’s gloves. He’d been
unwilling to change them whilst he was at school in case they ruined his luck,
but Ron really thought it was time. He got to his feet and brushed off his
jeans. They were new, and he hoped Severus wouldn’t pay too much
attention that he’d just been rolling around the floor in them. He had
been dragged kicking and screaming to Muggle clothes shops earlier in the week
when it transpired that everything Molly had sent was either too big or too
short.
Ron had
endured three hours before losing his temper. Severus had just said that he had
a reputation to uphold in his street and Ron rolling about like a member of the
cast of ‘Oliver!’ in jack up trousers wasn’t going to help.
This had led to a lengthy discussion about Muggle musicals and what exactly
‘Oliver!’ was, when Ron got defensive and told Severus to stop
being a snob, and stormed off outside to calm down. Then they’d gotten
home, talked about it, and had make-up sex.
“But
they’re going to kill me,” Severus actually whimpered, turning to
look at Ron.
“They’ll
do nothing of the sort,” Ron picked up the present, then looked at
himself in the mirror. It was a shock to see himself smart-ish again so soon
after the Ball, even though his clothes were much more casual.
“I’ve
been thinking,” Severus frowned. “Maybe you should change your
top.”
“What’s
wrong with this one?” Ron asked exasperatedly.
“Nothing, I just… turning up in completely new stuff might hurt
your mother a little bit. Like what she sent you wasn’t good
enough.”
“Well,
none of it fitted… but I suppose you’re right. I’ll change into
one of mine.”
“Well, that shirt’s yours, nobody else’s.”
“Sorry.
I’m still not used to being bought things.”
Severus
rolled his eyes and tucked the present under his arm. Ron disappeared upstairs.
His stomach was jangling a little, he couldn’t believe how nervous he
felt. Severus Snape did not get nervous much. Yet since he’d been with
Ron it seemed to be a constant presence. Nervous of doing the wrong thing,
saying the wrong thing, pushing too far… He heard footsteps on the stairs
and Ron re-entered the living room. “Better?”
I could fuck you right this second. Severus nodded. “Go on then.
Let’s get this over with.”
Ron walked
over and kissed him on the lips. “Courage, my little serpent.”
“If
you call me that one more time…”
The words
were lost on Ron, however, who was already turned into the spot in apparition.
Severus followed. He hated apparition. When he opened his eyes, Ron was looking
at him with a smile and he saw the Weasley home teetering precariously in the
spacious dirt yard.
“Game
face,” Ron pointed at him with a cheesy grin.
“Who else is going to be here again?” Severus eyed the house
suspiciously.
“My
family, Bill’s wife Fleur, Harry, Hermione, other order
members…”
“Order
members?!” Severus’ eyes flew wide. “Which members? Why
didn’t you tell me this?”
“It
slipped my mind,” Ron frowned. “I only found out yesterday when I
met Hermione to go shopping for Harry… I didn’t think it’d be
such an issue?”
Severus
looked at him desperately. “Which ones?”
“Remus
and Tonks mainly, I think…”
Severus hoped
his embarrassment didn’t show on his face.
“I
know you don’t like Remus but seriously…”
“It’s
not that,” Severus hissed between his teeth.
“Then
what?” Ron shrugged, turning the palms of his hands up.
“What’s got your knickers so twisted?”
Oh Ron you do know how to choose
your words. “There’s
more reasons for me to not want to see Remus Lupin today than you know.”
“What?
Did you sleep with him or something?” Ron asked flippantly.
His face
froze as Severus stared back at him, gripping tightly onto Harry’s
present.
“Oh
are you kidding me?” Ron hissed. “When? Recently?!”
“No,
when I was sixteen. I would never cheat on you.”
“And
it was so bad you still can’t look him in the eye? He’s married
now!”
“Married?
What? When did that happen?”
“A
few months ago.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?
You almost sound disappointed.”
“I
just… always thought he was gay. He married Nymphadora Tonks?”
Ron nodded
and gave another shrug. “So, he’s clearly over you.” He
winked. “Now come on, before someone sees us standing out here like fucking
lemons.”
“I
don’t want to…” Severus breathed.
Ron growled
and laced his arm through Severus’. “You’ll do this for
me,” he said. “Because you love
me.”
“I
curse my heart with all the obscenity under the sun,” Severus shot back,
but let himself be tugged towards the house. He could hear noises from the back
garden.
Ron shot
him a devilish smile, smacked him on the backside, and opened the kitchen door.
“Mum?” He shouted loudly, and Severus winced. “Harry?
Undeterminable brother figures?”
Ron pushed the
door shut behind Severus and smiled at him.
“Ron,
is that you?”
“Yeah,”
he shouted, taking the present and putting it on the table, “In the
kitchen.”
Severus
heart nearly gave out when Arthur Weasley walked into the room, looking at his
son with a smile. He gave him a hug and Ron beamed.
“Good
to have you here,” Arthur smiled back. “Your mother shocked us all
with the invitation. We nearly had to resuscitate Fred.”
He
straightened and turned to Severus, and after a moment put out his hand to be
shaken. Severus took it, realising he might as well get used to the feel of
forced handshakes for the next thirty minutes.
“Where
is everyone?” Ron asked. “It sounds quiet.”
“In
the garden.” Arthur let go of Severus’ hand, who noted he moved to
wipe it on his jeans but thought better of it. “It feels like the world
and its mate as descended on our house today. God knows it wasn’t built
for it.”
Ron laughed
and headed towards the door in the hallway leading to the back of the house.
Severus was interestedly looking about the cluttered kitchen, taking in the
homeliness of it. How different his sullen little house must have seemed to
Ron, who had never mentioned it, but of course had set straight to making it a
home for both of them. He was an insane nester, a trait which, Severus had
realised quickly, must have come from his mother.
“After
you, Severus,” Arthur extended his arm.
The nervous
feeling came back. Severus didn’t want to leave the quiet of the kitchen.
Arthur looked at him. With great effort, Severus managed to force one foot in
front of the other to follow Ron, swallowing hard and putting his hands in his
pockets.
His eyes
swam in the sunlight again as he took in the back garden of the house. It was
large, overgrown, messy, it backed onto an orchard. The garden was also full of
people.
“You
finally bloody made it then!” He heard Potter’s voice ring out and
looked up to see Ron disappear into his embrace. Get your filthy hands off him Potter. “I’ve missed
you.” He’s all mine now.
Bastard.
Severus had
caught up to where they stood. In front of Ron’s family he resisted the
urge to shove Harry off Ron and take him possessively in his arms…
somehow. His own tolerance surprised him. Harry broke off from Ron and looked
sideways to Severus.
“Snape,” he nodded, and threw his eyes back to Ron.
“Independent living suits you. You look all glowy.” He wrinkled his
nose realising what the reason for that was. “Gross.”
Ron laughed
and clapped him on the shoulder. “Happy birthday, you incredibly
unsupportive whore. I left you a present on the kitchen table.”
“Ooh!
Laters!” Harry darted past them into the kitchen.
Typical Potter. Little shit.
“Oh
my, Ron! You ‘ave grown so much again since I last saw you!” Fleur
swooped down on him. Once upon a time, her attentions would have made Ron glow
with pride. No more, he noticed.
“Fleur,”
he embraced her warmly, before noticing the small bump on her stomach.
“Oh Merlin, are you pregnant?”
Fleur
beamed and nodded, “About four months!”
“Congratulations!”
Ron beamed back at her, “My first nephew. Finally someone to pass on my
wisdom to, and to teach how to wind up their father!”
“I’m
keeping you away from that child until it’s learned the chance to love
me,” Bill came up behind Fleur, putting his arms around her waist.
“I’m no fool…”
Ron laughed
and clapped him on the shoulder. “Look at you, Mr Father-to-Be.”
“Look
at you,” Bill grinned evilly back, clapping Ron on the shoulder,
“Mr Shacked-up-with-a-man-twenty-years-older-than-you.”
“Bill!”
Fleur dug her elbow into Bill’s chest and turned her beautiful, glowing
face to Severus.
“Ignore
‘im, Severus. ‘E’s just jealous ‘e didn’t get ze
chance to make such a beneficial choice when ‘e was at school and had to
wait ten years longer than ‘is brother for the ze love of ‘is life!”
She pecked Severus on the cheek, positively alarming him.
“Whoa,
take it easy Fleur,” Ron shot to his side. “He’s rather
nervous. Let’s not kill the man with kindness,” he winked, putting
his hand soothingly on Severus’ back.
“If I
were ‘im… I would be nervous too,” Fleur laughed, and she put
her hand on his arm. “They are a scary lot, no?”
Severus
actually found himself laughing, and replying to her in a low voice.
“Very much so.”
“You
should stick with me,” she smiled. “Nobody would dare to upset me,
ze pregnant half-veela.”
Severus
laughed again. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Bill was
watching the exchange with interested eyes, but was mainly looking at Ron,
seeing how healthy and happy his littlest brother looked, how grown up. It was
a bit of a shock.
Ron looked
around the garden, spotting Fred and George playing with the old barbeque that
was always hauled out at these occasions.
“Ron!”
Hermione’s high voice came from nowhere, and she hurtled herself into a
hug which nearly pushed him off balance.
“Hey…
strange girl who I only saw yesterday.”
Hermione
laughed in his ear and squeezed him. “It just made me realise how much I
miss you, is all,” she let him go. “It’s so strange you not
being here.”
“It’s
quieter, you mean?” Bill looked at her with a wink.
“And
that. Though I think the ghoul in the attic misses your company. He’s
been banging a lot more and wailing.”
“Because
he’s bitter I haven’t been there for him to wake up every fucking
night.”
“Language!”
Hermione and Severus accidentally chided in unison.
Ron looked
between them and burst out laughing. “Oh god.”
Hermione
scowled and said, “I need to talk to you later. You’ll never guess
who wrote to me,” she winked.
Ron looked
at her. “Quidditch player? Bulgarian? Surname rhymes with-”
“Shut
up,” Hermione instructed. “Maybe.”
“Ron!”
Molly called, and walked over, wiping her hands on her apron. “And
Severus,” she added with a smile. “So glad you’re
here!”
She kissed
her son on the cheek. “So you’ve heard our brilliant news
then,” she gestured to Fleur’s belly.
Ron nodded,
“You must be thrilled mum. A grandchild at last!”
He thought
she might combust with happiness. “I know, I’m so
happy…”
“Lets
hope he or she comes out looking like their mother,” came George’s
sardonic voice as he walked up to them, wiping his hands on a rag.
“You
don’t know the sex?” Severus asked, looking at Bill and Fleur, who
shook their heads.
“The
Hospital wouldn’t test me,” Fleur scowled. “They said it
wasn’t necessary.”
Severus
rolled his eyes, “What rubbish. As if knowing the sex of your baby
wouldn’t be just a little bit helpful.”
“I
always rather liked the surprise,” Molly put her hand on Ron’s
back.
“Until
from about Percy onwards it wasn’t a surprise but horror,” George
grinned, and he jerked away as she swiped for him.
“I
would love to know,” Fleur protectively put a hand on her stomach and
looked up at Bill. “It would be nice to get the nursery ready,
anyway.”
“Well
you know where I am,” Severus nodded, committing himself to a family
favour. Weird weird weird weird. So
weird. Helping people… wanting to help them at that. Weird.
“The potion is simple and I can brew it for you if you give me some
notice.”
“That
vould be amazing!” Fleur gasped, and to his horror, her eyes filled with
tears and she threw herself at him again. “You are very kind.”
He gave a
nervous smile and moved instinctively closer to Ron.
“Fred!
Stop it!” Molly suddenly hollered, and broke away from the group to shout
at her other identical twin. Hermione laughed and followed at a walk.
Bill led
Fleur off to sit down for a while in an act of protectiveness Ron found
surprisingly heart warming. He and Severus found themselves left standing with
George, who was twisting the grubby rag in his hands looking embarrassed.
“George?”
Ron asked pointedly. “Are you going to say hello? Or look at me?”
George
visibly swallowed and looked up. Severus saw the face that had looked back
blankly at him so many times before turn delicately, deliciously pink in the
cheeks. Ding ding ding, incest alert.
He’s more off limits now than he ever was.
“I
don’t really know what to say to you,” he finally mumbled at Ron.
“Not like you to be lost for words.”
“Heh,
no… it’s not like Fred to be lost for words, for me it’s a
much more regular occurrence.”
Ron moved
forward and said, “You don’t have to say anything. I know
it’s strange to understand.”
“Oh,
I understand perfectly,” George cast a glance over his shoulder.
“Just don’t tell him that or I’ll never bloody hear the end
of it. Congratulations.” He nodded at the both of them and turned on his
heel, walking quickly back to the group beneath the trees.
Ron turned
to look at Severus, confused.
“I
think he means that he and Fred have had an argument about this…”
Severus whispered, pulling Ron closer again so he could hear. “That he
accepts us but Fred doesn’t.”
“They
never argue, about anything,” Ron said, he knew he sounded aghast.
“Well the fairytale can’t always continue,” Severus shrugged.
“People are different, even when they’re the same.”
Ron still
had a discomfited look on his face so Severus kissed him on the forehead.
“Oh
god, ew, I’ve just eaten,” came Ginny’s voice from their
side.
“Hey
Gin,” Ron said warily, not moving from his position. “Something
bothering you?”
She laughed
and punched him in the arm. “You’ve bothered me since the day I was
old enough to behold you. This was just an extension.”
“Oh
come on, my partner in crime isn’t going to desert me now,” Ron
grinned wickedly. “If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have
Harry Potter hanging off your arm.”
“True,”
Ginny wrinkled her nose in thought, just like Ron, Severus noticed. “I
s’pose you’re good for something after all.”
“So
kind of you,” Ron rolled his eyes.
Ginny
looked at Severus and half-smiled. “Is the fact you’re sleeping
with my brother going to get me an Outstanding in Potions next year?”
Severus
laughed and she stared. “No, Ginny,” Severus was careful to use her
first name. “It will not get you an outstanding grade in Potions.”
“But
you gave Ron one.”
“Ah,
but. Firstly, Ron did all the work for that and there was no over marking on my
behalf at all. Secondly… as you’ve already said, Ron’s
sleeping with me.”
“Ew.
I’ll forgo the grade if you take that back.”
“He
can’t take back the truth, Gin,” Ron grinned evilly and for effect
placed a kiss on Severus’ cheek.
“Gross!”
She scowled. “Still, whatever makes you happy.”
“Do
you mean that?”
She nodded
before turning and bounding away, her long hair bouncing in a plait down her
back. It was a while before Severus realised that the sight didn’t make
him ache like it used to, for someone else’s long red hair. It was a
revelation to him, he suddenly felt much lighter. His eyes followed Ginny as
she bounded up to Bill and launched into conversation with him. He definitely
didn’t feel so depressed looking at her any more… that could only
mean one thing.
Three hours
later, as the sky was growing dark and Ron had fiddled with the old fairy
lights to make them come on, Severus sat with his arm around him, feeling full
and surprisingly content, as the table fell to chatter in the evening air.
Singing ‘happy birthday’ to Potter had been a low point but the
homemade cake had made up for it. Ron himself had pulled Severus’ arm
around him, Severus himself did not feel quite so able to act so romantically
surrounded by Ron’s family. That said, he hadn’t taken the arm
back, because nobody had paid it the slightest bit of attention. So far, he had
managed to avoid having to talk to Remus Lupin for which he thanked his lucky
stars. He took a sip of wine and sat quietly. Ron was talking to Harry.
“Well
what have we got to do? Just piss about until we find it?”
“I think so,” Harry said uncertainly. “Hermione’s
looking into it. I don’t really see what else we can do. It’s not
like it can be just anywhere.”
Intrigued,
Severus trained his ears to their conversation, only to find it had stopped,
and Ron was looking back at him with a smile on his face.
“Are
you alright?” he asked. “You’re very quiet.”
“Well
who am I meant to talk to?” Severus replied, not angrily, or as if he
were placing blame. “I don’t know anyone, really. And I don’t
think they really want to know me.”
“They
do,” Ron whispered, and rested his head on Severus’. “As soon
as someone else leaves, we can go, I promise. I just can’t be the first
to leave.”
“I
don’t want to leave,” Severus said, shocking the both of them.
“You
don’t?” Ron raised his eyebrows. “I thought you…”
“I
was wrong,” Severus shrugged.
The look
Ron was giving him now was the reason he was sitting there, he realised. The
redhead was looking at him with eyes that were touching straight to his
soul… his beaten, battered soul. And looks like that, he further
realised, were starting to heal it, something which he never, ever thought
would be possible. He possessively tightened his grip on Ron and returned
‘the look’. All of a sudden, there was a blinding flash and both of
them jumped, which caused much laughter round the table.
“Sorry,”
Hermione blushed with a grin. “Molly gave me the camera… I just
didn’t think…”
“That
we should get through tonight without being painfully blinded?” Ron
groaned as he pressed his fingers into his eyeballs and scrunched up his face.
Severus
blinked rapidly and little green squares flew everywhere.
“No,”
Hermione passed the camera down the table to Ginny. “I just… if
someone was looking at me like that, I’d want someone to take a picture
of it, is all.”
Ron blushed
a little and took a sip of drink and looked at his knees. Severus realised he
was too embarrassed to speak, so it was up to him.
“I’d
like a copy of that when you develop it,” he said to Hermione.
“Because you’re right.”
Hermione
smiled at him tentatively and nodded. “Of course.”
“I
don’t have any pictures of you,” he turned his face to Ron.
“Which is just odd. We live together. There should be documentary
proof,” he winked.
Oh Merlin when will this ever feel
natural? I can’t sit here and be myself with them around. I just
can’t. He
took a sip of drink. I can’t do
this… I can’t do this…
“So
when are you going to tell the rest of us what the hell got into your head,
Ron?” Fred asked aloud suddenly, and the table instantly hushed.
Ron looked
up. He’d been waiting for it, he hoped that Fred would save it for a
quieter moment, but realised that hoping for that had been stupid.
“Fred,
that’s enough,” Arthur said sternly, looking anxiously at Ron.
“It’s none of your business.”
“It’s
all our business,” Fred said frankly. “Since when have any of the
rest of us ever had the privilege of keeping our lives private, except
Charlie?”
Charlie set
his drink down, “I’m not privileged!”
“Enough,”
Molly said firmly again. “Fred, I warned you, do not ruin tonight.”
“Who
says I’m trying to ruin it?!” He asked earnestly. “All I want
to know is why, an explanation, and then I’ll lay off. It’s just
so… out of character.”
“I
wouldn’t say it’s out of character,” George’s identical
voice perked up. Most heads swivelled round to him, it was so unusual for him
to disagree with his brother. “Ron has always been quick to attach to
things. Ever since he was little and he fell in love with that blanket that was
actually mine… but I let him have it because he was my ‘ickle
brother. I blame myself.”
“I
blame you too,” Fred rolled his eyes and turned back to the rest of the
table. “All I want is to know why, Ron. And why him.”
“This
is ridiculous, Ron, you don’t have to explain yourself,” Molly
threw a murderous glance down the table.
“No,
he wants an explanation I’ll give him one,” Ron shrugged.
“Fred. It might seem a totally alien concept to you because you’re
so outrageously handsome and flirtatious and women fall at your feet, but love
doesn’t really come as easily to everyone else. And when you fall in love
you fall in love. Not all of us can fall out of it easily the next day again
like you do. And I’ve not, simple as. Enough?”
Fred stared
at him evenly and then looked at Severus. “Fine. But Severus, you should
know,” he narrowed his eyes. “We’re all nice now, and of
course we’re like that ninety nine percent of the time… however,
cross us in the queue for the bathroom in the morning, or hurt one of us, and
it’ll be a very different story. I’m not threatening you, I’m
just telling you. Do you catch my drift?”
Molly
groaned and buried her face in her hands at her son’s blatant rudeness.
But Severus finally felt like someone had treated him on the same level that he
was used to. He looked at Fred Weasley and smiled with a nod. “Drift
totally and utterly caught.”
Arthur
threw a sneaky grin at his son before turning to Molly. “There, now, see.
There was no bloodshed.”
“There
will be later when I get my hands on you,” Molly hissed towards Fred.
“Molly,”
Severus held his hand up. “Honestly, no bad feelings. You have all been
nicer to me than I could have expected. Fred is… simply putting the point
across that the rest of you didn’t know how to. But, I assure him, he has
nothing to worry about.”
He put a
possessive hand on Ron’s shoulder, which Ron oh-so-casually turned to
place a kiss on.
“Oh
gross,” Ginny laughed, trying to return the table to laughing and joking
again. It did work, but Ron was still looking at Severus. ‘Thank
you’, he mouthed. Severus smiled.
“So
are you going to get married?” Floated out of thin air directed at them.
Severus was surprised that it had come from Harry. I hate you, Potter.
Ron turned
to look at him with a disbelieving look in his eyes.
“What?!”
Harry exclaimed, having floored the table again. “You love one another,
you live together… normally isn’t marriage the next step?”
“No,”
Severus breathed. “It’s not always the next step!”
“But
it often is,” Hermione grinned at him a little viciously, he sensed she
was enjoying his discomfort. Bitch.
“There are no laws on marriage bonds in the wizarding community like
there are with Muggles.”
“No,
they only save that for Werewolves,” Remus said in jest from the end of
the table. It was the first time he’d said anything aloud. Next to him,
his wife rolled her eyes.
“Ignore
Mr Grumpy Guts here. Now shut up you, or I’ll tell them our news.”
“Dora,”
he threw her a look.
“News?” Molly asked brightly. “What news?”
“You
are in SO much trouble,” Remus took a swig of drink but Tonks just rolled
her eyes again.
“We’re
having a baby!” She winked at the table.
Severus
felt relieved as everyone converged on them, taking the pressure off Ron and
himself. The word marriage hung in the air over them like a bad stink. He might
never have expected Ron to turn out to be his soul mate, but he still knew he
would never, ever get married. It was something else, though, that he’d
never discussed with Ron. Ron probably had a very different view of the bond,
seeing his parents who were always very much in love… all Severus knew of
marriage was the feeling of being unwanted and the memories of the shouting.
Once again they would be at odds. So he was very surprised when Ron turned to
him.
“I
don’t want to get married,” he whispered in his ear. “Or at
least not in front of anybody else.”
“What
do you mean?” Severus brushed some hair away from his eye.
“I
just figured that one day… we could wake up and perform the bond
ourselves, when we felt like it was time. But no big affair, no suits, no cake.
Just us. But if you don’t want to, I’m content to give it a
miss.”
“I’m
not really up on marriage,” Severus admitted. “Much prefer to live
in supposed sin.”
“Not
even one day, when we’re a bit older, you wouldn’t consider
it?”
Severus’
lip twitched. “I’m pretty sure it’ll always be a no.”
Ron
shrugged and kissed him on the lips, knowing his family’s attention was
still on Remus and Tonks. “Then that’s fine with me. As long as I
have you, one way or another.”
Severus
kissed him back, unable to hide the smile that was curling out of him.
The night
was drawing to a close. Bill and Fleur had already left as Fleur’d been
swaying on her feet. As he hugged them goodbye, Ron couldn’t believe how
grown up they really were now… married, living alone, expecting their
first child. It made him feel a little odd. Growing up, he had always thought
he would finish school, marry a nice girl and have children. But now he knew
he’d not be married, and two square holes couldn’t produce
something that required a round hole. He grinned inwardly at the crude
comparison. But it was true. Children were well and truly off the cards for him
now. He felt a little sad, but not particularly. His brothers would have enough
between them to satisfy any fatherly feelings he might have. Now Remus and
Tonks were getting to their feet.
Severus
knew this would be the time he had to talk to Remus and he didn’t want
to. It wasn’t so much hatred, but… dislike. And the memory of the
time they had sex, sixteen, nervous, fumbling in a broom cupboard. He shivered
slightly, Ron noticed.
“Severus,”
Remus approached him and extended a hand. “Ron. Congratulations. I
haven’t had a chance to speak to you tonight.”
“Congratulations
to you too,” Ron smiled, meeting Remus in the hug that he was offering.
“I
hope you know what you’re doing,” Remus said in the quietest of
whispers in Ron’s ear.
Ron pulled
away with the smile frozen in place. He didn’t want to cause animosity.
Remus looked at Severus and nodded, and extended a hand. Severus shook it.
Remus then
walked away to his wife, who winked at Ron before turning and disappearing into
the house.
“Tried
to warn you off, did he?” Severus chuckled, putting his arm around
Ron’s shoulders. “He’s just embarrassed. As he should be. He
wasn’t much of a lay, though his wife clearly thinks so.”
Ron hit him
in the chest in chagrin and threw him a small smile. “I actually kind of
hoped he was jealous.”
Severus
rolled his eyes. Ron cast a look about them. “Come with me,” he
tugged him into the house. He pulled him all the way to the stop of the stairs
and opened his bedroom door. The fierce orange glow made Severus blink.
“Welcome
to my room,” Ron winked, skirting round Harry’s camp bed and a
couple of boxes which belonged to Fred and George.
“It’s
like a fire in here,” Severus said in amazement. “I can’t
believe they let you decorate like this.”
“It’s
my bedroom, why should they care how I decorate it?” Ron shrugged, and
threw himself on his old familiar bed.
“We’re
so different,” Severus sat down next to him. “So. This is where you
grew up. Right at the top of the house.”
Ron nodded
and put his arms around Severus to hug him. “Tonight has been…
well. I love you, Severus.”
“I
love you too,” he kissed his forehead. “And I want to take you home
and fuck you till you come.”
Ron laughed
breathily. “Why wait till we get home?”
“I’m
not doing it here,” Severus flatly. “Not in your parents’
house.”
“But
this is my house too,” Ron teased, running a hand over Severus’ crotch.
“Come on… make my old fantasies come alive.”
“You
fantasised about me?”
“Well…
no, but you know… teenage boys, having a lover in your room when someone
could catch you at any minute, it’s a bit of a turn on.”
“You
dirty little bugger.”
“You
know it,” Ron raised an eyebrow, knowing he was virtually irresistible to
Severus.
With an
exasperated groan, Severus crawled so he was above Ron, who leaned back on the
pillows and rested his head on the wall. This was ridiculous, they could be
caught at any second. But Ron didn’t seem to care, he hand his hands on
Severus’ back, pulling him down for a kiss. His fair fell down to frame
his face and Ron smiled and gave him that look again, which reached straight
into his chest and tugged his heart. Wherever he had expected to be this summer
it certainly wasn’t in Ron Weasley’s childhood home, crushing his
erection into the redhead’s groin. He leant into kiss again just as the
door banged open and hit the wall.
“Oh
gross!” Ginny exclaimed again, and Severus dropped his head into
Ron’s neck in absolute disgrace.
He heard
Harry laugh as he shut the door again.
“Fuckers,”
Ron sighed and laughed.
-fin-
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