Too Much Of Not Enough | By : RikuRocks Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1782 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Harry Potter, nor am I making any money from this work of fiction. |
Severus’ head was clear of the unusual thoughts it had been filled with the previous night as he made his way towards the Great Hall. Upon waking, he had decided to chalk it up to him being tired after an abnormal evening and not to think on it any further.
The obsidian-eyed boy saw Lily and Remus waiting for him a few feet away from the Great Hall’s entrance. Lily had her book bag thrown over one shoulder and held a plate of food in one hand, and a few napkins rolled around some flatware in the other. Despite the hour or the fact that they had not truly been what one could call friends until the previous night, she talked animatedly to the other Gryffindor. Meanwhile Remus had his worn knapsack on securely so he could hold a plate in each hand; he also appeared to be a little unsure of what to make of the girl’s sudden friendliness towards him.
The fawn-haired boy was the first to notice Severus’ approach, and turned to greet him with a slightly relieved smile. The raven-haired boy found himself tempted to offer a sympathetic expression, as he knew how intimidating Lily could be when she latched onto an idea. He suppressed the urge, however, and merely nodded a greeting to the shorter boy before turning to the redhead with a subtle smile, “Lily, I know it is a foreign concept to you, but many people do not enjoy having an incredibly enthusiastic girl jabbering at them at five in the morning.”
The green-eyed girl offered her friend a somewhat amused look before shooting Remus a mild glare as the fawn-haired boy chuckled lightly. Before the redhead could say anything, the scarred boy held one of the plates he was holding out to Severus, “Here, we thought it might be nice to take breakfast along while we study. I hope that’s all right.”
The taller boy took the proffered plate as the other boy explained, and suspected that ‘we’ actually meant Lily, but then he glanced down at the contents of the dish and paused. Remus had handed him a plate of chocolate chip pancakes, fresh strawberries, and a couple plump sausages, all of which were Severus’ favourites. He took a glance at Lily, who shook her head; “I only confirmed that you weren’t allergic to any of it and didn‘t dislike anything he picked.”
A quick glance at Remus’ plate showed that he was eating nearly the same thing, only with a small portion of scrambled eggs -which Severus never ate- instead of the sausages. Lily seemed to have taken a bit of everything the house elves had decided to serve that day. “Well, do you think it’s too chilly to sit out by the lake? We could find a classroom that isn’t in use…or just head to the library.”
Severus was about to state that heading out to the lake sounded fine to him, but Remus had chosen that moment to check his pockets for something, and his shifting robes offered the obsidian-eyed boy a reminder of just how thin he was. “Are…” Severus made a point to pull his eyes away and look between the other two, “Are either of you too cold to go outside?”
“We have jumpers and our school robes on, Severus, I think we’ll be fine,” Lily remarked as she looked her friend over thoughtfully.
“Heading out sounds nice actually,” commented Remus conversationally, “Pretty soon it really will be too cold.”
“Well then let’s enjoy the outdoors while we can,” stated Lily as she turned towards the main entrance. After exchanging a quick look, the two boys followed. Severus caught up with Lily almost immediately, and they all headed to a large beech tree near the lake. Partway there, Severus realised that Remus was walking behind them again and frowned. He quickly considered all the times he had noted Remus walking with his friends, and realised that the boy usually remained behind them, probably because the four of them would essentially fill some of the hallways between classes and unlike his selfish friends, the fawn-haired boy was courteous enough to make room for the other students.
The obsidian-eyed boy scowled slightly as he found yet another reason to dislike Potter and Black, aside from their discourtesy, he suspected they enjoyed having their friends following them around like well-trained pets. Not being able to stand the idea of having anything remotely in common with those idiots, Severus suddenly stopped and turned around. Remus nearly walked into him before he managed to stop.
The slightly shorter boy looked at the Slytherin curiously, “Wh- Is something wrong?”
“If you are going to walk with us, Lupin, then might I suggest you get over here and walk with us?” asked the raven-haired boy dryly. “I feel as though I have a stray tagging along behind me. Potter and Black may enjoy having their friends trailing after them like a pet on a leash, but I don’t.”
A flash of hurt crossed the fawn-haired boy’s face before he suddenly looked introspective, and Lily watched the two boys with a touch of trepidation, clearly not sure of how her fellow Gryffindor would respond. Severus remained silent and wore a closed expression, although he too wondered if had just crossed any sort of line with the shorter boy. They had never actually had any disputes between them before, and he found himself hoping that they would not get into one now.
“I can’t say whether James and Sirius enjoy it or not, or indeed, whether they even perceive it that way,” commented Remus mildly after a brief pause, “But I suppose it’s something of a habit on my end. Sorry, Severus.” The fawn-haired boy smiled lightly and moved to walk beside the Slytherin.
Severus blinked and turned to continue walking, unsure of how to respond to the sudden use of his given name. Lily elbowed him nonchalantly as she too, continued walking, and he glanced at her questioningly before noting the way she was giving him a pointed look before shooting her gaze past him, to Lupin. Then, he understood her, at least. “It’s fine, Lupin.”
Lily rolled her eyes but then smiled when Remus simply nodded to the other boy before they reached the beech tree and sat down, placing their plates besides them. The fawn-haired boy glanced around before looking up at the star-filled sky, “I think we forgot how early it was when we decided to come out here. Lumos.” Severus had to disguise his chuckle as a cough when Remus suddenly stuck the back end of his lit wand into the soft earth between himself and Lily, as though it were a torch.
Lily giggled, then pulled out her own wand, “Well, it is a good idea, actually…Lumos.” The redhead then mimicked Remus, sticking her lit wand in the ground between her and Severus.
With a small smirk and an eye roll for good measure, the obsidian-eyed teen lit his wand and planted it in the ground between him and Remus. The three wands actually lit up their study location quite well, and they soon pulled their notes and textbooks from their bags.
Lily read Remus’ notes, as he was the only one who had taken any decent ones, and asked both boys some questions as they all ate their breakfasts. Severus was slightly impressed when he realised that he could answer every one of Lily’s questions based solely on the information he had gained from Lupin the previous evening, although he chose not to share that thought with the others. Between the teenagers enjoying their breakfasts, discussing Brownies, and talking about other related subjects, nearly an hour had passed before the redhead declared that her essay was complete and thanked the two boys.
Night was just starting to show signs of giving way to day as the three teenagers started packing up. Lily cleaned their dirty dishes with a quick spell once she stuffed her work and textbook into her bag. She was just handing the boys’ notes and essays back to them when all three looked up at the sound of a voice approaching.
“So I told him that if he thinks- Hey, Lily! We’ve been looking all over for you.”
Alice and Mary sopped several feet away from the three sitting by the tree. Lily stood and returned her friends’ smiles, while Severus merely looked on with a cool expression, and Remus smiled politely but looked slightly uncomfortable as the other two Gryffindors looked over their heads to speak to their redheaded friend.
“Weren’t we going to quiz each other for that terrible History of Magic quiz over breakfast?” asked Mary, after apparently deciding that neither of the boys were worth acknowledging. Severus did not find their lack of greeting toward him unusual, as they had settled on a mutual dislike years before, but merely kept quiet about it for Lily’s sake. However, he did find it odd that neither of the girls paid any attention to Remus, as he was one of their house prefects.
“Oh! I’m sorry, we came out here early to get some work done and it slipped my mind,” the green-eyed girl spoke in a carefree manner that had her friends grinning and rolling their eyes. She then turned to her other two friends, “Would either of you mind if I head in? I did tell them that I’d help…poor Alice is rubbish in History of Magic.”
“Hey! Neither of you are star pupils in that subject either,” commented Alice when Mary nodded and laughed at the redhead’s comment.
Remus nodded politely and smiled easily, “That’s fine. We’ve finished up here anyway.”
Severus sighed quietly and simply nodded his consent. He hated to admit it, but he knew that his best friend was growing away from him. As the girls walked away, Lily turned with a somewhat guilty expression and waved at the boys before calling, “I’ll see you in class.”
The obsidian-eyed boy gathered his things as he spoke to the shorter boy, “I suppose we should head in as well. The wind is starting to pick up.”
“You go ahead,” commented Remus casually, “I think I’ll stay and watch the sunrise before heading in. In a few minutes, you’ll be able to see the village in the lake.”
Severus’ expression had been confused upon hearing the initial decline, then had turned scornful at the romantic notion of watching the sunrise, but then became completely blank at the brown-eyed boy’s final comment. He blinked, “The what?”
Remus turned to the Slytherin with a light smile. “When the sun gets about that far above the trees of the Forbidden Forrest,” a long, thin finger pointed to a nondescript spot of sky above the tree line, “The light hits the water of the Black Lake just right and you can see the lights of the merfolk village in it’s depths for a little while.”
The raven-haired teen blinked again, and wondered vaguely how the shorter boy managed to discompose him so easily. “How do you know that?”
“I’ve watched it before,” the fawn-haired boy replied simply. He pulled his tatty school robe tighter around him, clearly beginning to feel the wind that Severus had mentioned but having no intention of mentioning it or going inside.
The obsidian-eyed boy sighed, “Fine, but can we head back in afterwards?”
Severus took a small amount of satisfaction from the confused expression that crossed Remus’ face, “You can still head in if you want to; I don’t mind.”
“Well, thank you for pointing out what I can obviously do, but I think I’ll stay out just the same.” The slightly taller boy adjusted his cloak to ensure that it fell over his shoulders. “I’d like to see this merfolk village of yours.”
The two teenagers sat beside one another in silence and watched as the sky shifted through hues of peach, pinks, and purples, until finally the sun could be seen peeking over the trees. Severus glanced at Remus when the sun was about to reach the point he had indicated earlier, and the brown-eyed boy met his gaze before turning his own to the lake. Obsidian eyes followed suite, and within seconds, the lake shone and then seemed to clear, exposing a vast world that was normally hidden by its dark depths. Far into the distance, far deeper than Severus had imagined the lake went, the cyan lights of the merfolk village could be seen clearly. Both boys stood and silently moved closer to the lake for a better view.
If Severus had truly thought about the idea of a large, hidden, and surprisingly well-populated village being right under foot without anyone knowing, he would have thought that the idea would be frightening. Instead, he found the concept oddly encouraging…wondering if perhaps this small untouched world was kinder than the harsh reality he lived in.
“Sometimes, I like to imagine what it might be like in that village,” Remus commented softly, and Severus took a quick glace to see a pensive but somewhat peaceful expression on the other boy’s face. “They chose not to be involved in Wizarding society; I wonder if they don’t have the same views as we do. Maybe they consider themselves to all be equal, and no one feels left out. I know it sounds strange, but it’s sort of…comforting.”
The raven-haired teen just stared at the fawn-haired boy for a moment, as his thoughts from the previous night returned. He wondered if Lily really had intended the scarred teen before him to befriend them, or just him. While that idea bothered him, he had to admit that she chose well if that were the case…if only Remus were not already on such close terms with Potter and Black. Severus was not sure that he could overlook such an obvious flaw of character.
All too soon, the sun moved higher and the lake became a dark mirror once again, hiding the world that thrived under its surface. Remus shivered and discovered that he could not possibly cover any more of himself with his school robe. He turned to Severus, “I think I’ll head back inside now, are you coming?”
The obsidian-eyed teen nodded and grabbed his bag as well as his and Lily’s plates, Lupin having beaten him to his own after he picked up his own knapsack. Then the two boys headed toward the castle in comfortable silence, and Severus was pleased that the scarred teen remained beside him on his own accord this time.
When they were about halfway to the castle, Remus broke the silence, “Do you think getting up so early will be a problem for you in Astronomy tonight?”
“No,” Severus replied, intending to leave it at that, but then he looked at the shorter boy. “What about you? You and Lily were up later than I…and you‘ve just recovered from being ill.”
“I’m sure I’ll be okay,” the fawn-haired teen responded lightly. “I feel fine now and I still got in a fair amount of sleep last night. I hope Lily isn‘t too tired.”
“I’m sure she’ll fair well,” commented the taller boy. He then smirked and added, “One of us should probably check her notes before the next class though; just in case.”
Remus‘ tone was not quite meek but undoubtedly uncertain when he spoke next; “Well, would you be interested in studying together again sometime this week?”
Severus thought about this quickly. Lily disappearing for long intervals while she studied with some of her girlfriends was becoming a more common occurrence and none of his Slytherin associates took the same practical, calm, and focused approached to their studies that Remus did. In any case, it certainly had been far more pleasant than studying alone…far more pleasant than he wanted to admit, in fact. He never would have even considered the Locomotor Charm as a possible source of fun had the shorter boy not suddenly started…playing with him by nudging his desk with his own. In the end, not only had Severus enjoyed himself, but he had also mastered the charm sooner than he normally did.
“I have no objections,” Severus commented levelly, not wanting to seem too enthusiastic about the idea. “Deviant though your friends may be, you at least seem to show a fair amount of discipline in your work. With some actual assistance and encouragement, I‘m sure you could be pulling higher marks in each of your weaker subjects. ”
Brown eyes blinked, then seemed to search the taller boy’s face for a moment before Remus simply nodded, “Thank you, Severus. I do appreciate the help…and it is nice to study with someone who actually focuses and shows respect for the- not that my friends…well, they just don’t seem to have to try as hard.” The boy did not sound bitter in the least, and seemed almost ashamed that he had come so close to saying something negative about his friends.
The raven-haired teen arched an eyebrow, but decided that it was probably not the time to say anything against the shorter boy’s friends. He was also surprised that the Gryffindor’s thoughts once again seemed so similar to his own…not to mention how easily the boy called him by given name now.
Before Severus could think of anything to say, Remus suddenly stopped walking and glanced at the entrance that they had nearly reached before turning to the taller boy. “Will it be all right if we walk into the Great Hall together? I wouldn’t want to make things any more difficult for you with your housemates.”
The raven-haired boy considered this briefly, while he did not go out of his way to hide his friendship with Lily, he did not flaunt it before his housemates either. However, he suddenly realised just how the other teen had worded his concern and found it worth questioning. “Why do you say ‘any more difficult’? What makes you think I am already having difficulties with my housemates?”
“Oh, I-I just thought that you might…I wouldn’t imagine it to be easy, being a half-blood in Slytherin.” Aside from the meek opening, Severus noted that Remus did not say ‘half-blood’ as any of the other’s he spoke to did, though that was hardly surprising, seeing that Remus himself was a half-blood. However, he also did not say ‘Slytherin’ with the same venom or note of distaste that every other Gryffindor seemed to.
Still, the obsidian-eyed boy was hesitant to acknowledge any sort of feeling openly toward the other boy. “I am not the first or only half-blood in my house, you know.”
“I know, Severus, it’s just that, most of the students I’ve had any contact with from your house seem to look down upon half-bloods…and many are from older, wealthy houses like Sirius is. Much as he tries to curb it, even he has a sort of haughtiness to him when talking to anyone below his station. I just presumed it would be harder for you to be acknowledged for your strong points among them and I wouldn’t want to make it harder. I’m sorry if I’m wrong…I mean no insult.”
Severus thought that the last part had been clear enough unsaid, as the fawn-haired boy’s tone had been bordering on apologetic through most of his explanation. He was also again impressed by the shorter boy’s insight, as his deduction on the other Slytherins attitude toward Severus was completely accurate. Including the fact that any known friendship between himself and Lupin would lead to trouble for the both of them. “You do have a point; I wouldn’t want to gain a reputation as some sort of…Gryffindor lover. Perhaps we should avoid drawing attention to our study arrangements.”
While he felt it was wise to avoid using the word friendship so soon, the raven-haired teen could not help but feel somewhat regretful at the brief look of disappointment that crossed Remus’ features…especially since it seemed to be directed at himself instead of Severus. Before it could be analysed any further, the look was gone and Remus was nodding his understanding with a passive expression on his face.
Without thinking, the taller boy took the other boy’s plate from him and stacked it over Lily’s and his own. “I’m sure I’ll talk to you later then.”
“I look forward to it,” Remus replied with a small smile. Then, he nodded toward the door, “Why don’t you head in first? None of my friends will find it odd if I wander in a little late for breakfast.”
Severus nodded, not wanting to point out that none of his friends would question it if he walked in late either, as the only one he could consider a true friend had already known that he was outside with Remus. He entered the castle and headed straight to the Slytherin table, Mulciber nodded to him as he passed before continuing his conversation with Avery and Knott. Aside from that, no one seemed to notice his late entrance.
As he sipped on some black tea and read The Daily Prophet, Severus noticed that Lily was watching him; he offered her a small nod, which she returned with a smile. After a moment, she suddenly looked confused and began looking over her own table. The obsidian-eyed teen quickly realised the reason for her confusion; Remus had not returned yet. Potter, Black, and Pettigrew entered just then, talking amongst themselves and laughing as they sat at the Gryffindor table and started piling food on their plates. Pettigrew glanced around after a moment and said something to Potter, causing both and he and Black to look over their table as well. Severus could only guess that they had noticed their friend’s absence. Just as Remus had predicted, they did not seem confused or concerned by this.
Just then, Remus entered the Great Hall behind a small group of third year Hufflepuffs. Brown eyes flickered over to Severus before turning to the Gryffindor table. He quickly spotted his friends and moved to sit by them. Black rolled his eyes and Potter said something that caused Pettigrew to chuckle before they all appeared to be teasing their friend about something, most likely his study habits, by the way Pettigrew was suddenly mimicking having his face stuffed in a book, much to Black and Potter‘s amusement. Remus reacted to all of this with a small grin and an arched eyebrow before shaking his head and pulling out his Potions textbooks, which just started the other three laughing outright.
They soon calmed and returned to their own conversation, not seeming to notice that their friend was not eating. Severus wondered if the fawn-haired boy often took his meals elsewhere, or if he simply skipped them on occasion. His chronically underfed appearance certainly backed the idea, although Severus had always just attributed that to his illness in the past.
Shaking away such thoughts, Severus returned to his paper.
The rest of the day moved along as usual, for the most part. Although, Severus found himself glancing at Lupin’s cauldron more often than usual during Potions, and made several mental notes on how the shorter boy might improve the results of his work. He also noticed Lily give him a thumbs-up and a smile when he demonstrated the Locomotor Charm for the class successfully on the first try in Charms. Lastly, he found it rather coincidental that Remus called his friends to look at a constellation he seemed excited about in Astronomy just when Potter and Black were showing a little too much interest in the difficulty Severus was having in setting up his telescope.
In addition, that evening, for the first time in years, Severus found that he actually felt alone while studying by himself in the library.
Heading to the Great Hall early the next morning, the raven-haired boy heard Lily’s voice coming down from one of the lower landings on the staircase and sounding as though she were scolding someone. He decided to head up and speak to her about whatever it was she was trying to accomplish with he and Lupin, however, he paused upon seeing her, and seeing that it was Remus she was speaking to.
The fawn-haired boy’s back was facing Severus, but his posture was docile and Lily’s expression was stern. “Of course they don’t listen to you; you never take house points from them or give them detention. Making them feel bad after the fact is something, but I’m sure they would be much more inclined to stop when you advise against something beforehand if they knew there would be actual consequences afterwards. You shouldn’t be afraid of your friends, Remus. If they actually care about you, then you exercising a little discipline as prefect shouldn’t be a problem. You’re a good prefect when it comes to everyone else, I don‘t see why they should be any different.”
The redhead quickly walked around the other Gryffindor and started down the stairs. She started when Severus spoke as she passed, “Not that I disagree, but don’t you think you were a little harsh? It isn’t as though Potter or Black would respect his authority in any case, and I do not doubt that they would desert him if he disrupted their fun too much. He already doesn’t participate in their trickery as much as that annoying tag along, Pettigrew.”
“That is exactly my point, Severus.” Lily sounded exasperated but oddly elated. “He obviously disagrees with most of their behaviour, but he still remains friends with them. I know he doesn’t really have any other friends, but wouldn’t that still be better than having to force back his own morals?”
While he knew that sounded well in theory, the obsidian-eyed boy also knew that Lily had never been without friends and did not realise that it was much harder in practice. He imagined it would be harder for someone like Remus, who seemed to actually want friends. “What brought this on now? Why not complain two weeks into the term when his friends transfigured Goyle’s Remembrall into a bouncy ball and bounced it down the moving stairs? …While Lupin was stammering discouragements, as I recall.”
“Because I had just taken it for granted that he was letting them slide because they were his best friends,” Lily replied, then, her tone turned indignant; “But after what you said the other day, I started thinking about it, and I think you’re right. He is sort of outside their circle…Pettigrew is too, but he clings onto the edges whereas Remus is just sort of left behind. Moreover, they all act as if that were completely okay. His friends shouldn‘t be that callous towards him.”
They both stopped when Lupin‘s hoarse voice sounded somewhere behind them, his tone not threatening but firm. “Don’t even think about it, Thomas.”
Looking up, Severus saw that a Gryffindor first year had levitated a bottle of ink over a Ravenclaw girl’s head. With a look of mild disappointment at having been caught, the boy brought the inkwell back to himself, corked it, and stuffed it into his bag before continuing along to breakfast.
“See? He’s actually quite good with the younger students,” commented Lily. “Even if he’s reluctant to take house points or give out detentions -or even get very stern with them- he still manages to guide them toward proper behaviour.”
“Indeed, but that approach will never accomplish anything with Potter or Black, and as you just said, he’s even reluctant to deal out punishments to the other students,” remarked Severus before dropping his voice. “He’s coming down; why don’t you drop it for now?”
The raven-haired boy did not have time to evaluate the appraising look his friend was giving him before Remus had spotted them, and approached them with a small smile; “Good morning, Severus. Sleep well?”
The obsidian-eyed teen nodded and had just opened his mouth to ask the same when Mary called over to Lily. She and Alice had just reached the landing above them; “Lily, do you want to sit with us at breakfast?”
“Sure,” the green-eyed girl called back with a smile, and then she turned to the two boys. “I’ll see you later. Hey, do you want to get together to study again tonight? We don’t have Astronomy or a late patrol this time, so we should be able to get more done.”
Severus was tempted to remind his friend that he and Remus had gotten plenty done the last time they had studied together, and that Lily could hardly say that she had studied with them, but decided that there really was no point in starting an argument. “That sounds fine. Say six o’clock in the library?”
“Works for me; Remus?” The fawn-haired boy nodded and then Lily smiled, “Great. I’ll see you in class later.” With a wave, the girl was off with her other friends again.
“Is she always so…flighty?” questioned Remus as they watched the three girls enter the Great Hall, talking and giggling the entire way.
“No, I believe she has some sort of scheme in motion,” replied Severus before glancing at the shorter boy. “I doubt she means any harm, but I would exercise some additional caution of I were you.”
The fawn-haired teen nodded, “Fortunately, I’ve become quite good at avoiding devious conspiracies over the past few years. Have you had breakfast yet?”
“No, I was just on my way when Lily called me,” the raven-haired boy lied easily, deciding that it was probably better not to divulge what he had heard the redhead say to the other Gryffindor.
The scarred boy raised his eyebrows slightly and Severus had the strangest impression that he could tell he was lying…something that had rarely happened to him in the past. “Oh, well I won’t hold you then,” Remus smiled pleasantly at the taller boy; if he had noticed the lie, he apparently was content to let it alone. “I’ll see you this evening. Good luck with your Arithmancy quiz.”
Severus inclined his head courteously at the well wishes, not used to being in a position to thank someone. He was also not sure how the other boy knew of his Arithmancy quiz.
“Lily mentioned it this morning,” commented the scarred boy with a bit of a twinkle to his eyes. “Apparently, Arithmancy isn’t one of her stronger subjects, so she’s a little nervous.”
“She shouldn’t be,” commented the raven-haired teen. “Her work has always been perfectly passable in that class.”
Remus nodded, and it appeared that he was going to say something else, when the sound of his name being called caused both boys to look up.
Pettigrew was leaning over the railing of one of the higher staircases before he turned to see something further up; “I found him! He’s already at the bottom of the stairs.”
Black leaned over another section of the railing casually and called down, “Well since you’re already down there, Moony, why don’t you save us some seats? We’ll be down in a minute.”
Severus rolled his eyes at the sound of Black, Potter, and Pettigrew snickering and talking amongst themselves as they headed in a different direction from the Great Hall, clearly up to something. Fortunately, neither Pettigrew or Black seemed to have noticed who Remus was speaking with when they interrupted, Severus actually would not have been surprised if they had failed to even notice that they had interrupted a conversation.
The obsidian-eyed teen turned to the shorter boy to say as much, but paused when, with a small frown line appearing between his brows, he saw that the other boy had paled slightly. “Lupin, are you all right?”
“Y-yes, I’m fine;” brown eyes flicked back to the spot where his friend’s had be a moment before, and then Remus glanced down and took a steadying breath before looking at Severus again. His colour was only marginally better, but the small smile he had been wearing before had returned, although the light of it no longer reached his eyes. “I suppose I should go to breakfast then; if I’m going to be saving seats. I’ll see you later, Severus.”
With a polite nod and a small smile, the shorter boy turned and headed into the Great Hall. Severus watched after him a moment in confusion, then his stomach rumbled quietly, and the raven-haired boy decided to go get some breakfast as well. As he passed the Gryffindor table, Severus quickly spotted Lupin, sitting by himself at the far end of the table. The seats all around him empty, and he seemed lost in thought as he drabbled some honey on a piece of toast, which appeared to be all he was eating.
As he sat at his own house table and distractedly served himself some eggs over-easy, Severus considered the somewhat harsh words Lily had said to the scarred boy earlier, and wondered if he truly was afraid of his friends…and why. The fawn-haired boy’s behaviour did not seem to be based upon the concern of losing a few friends, but then, Severus had never had much experience when it came to friendships or figuring out the reasons behind the emotions of others.
During their Herbology class later that day, Severus noticed Remus speaking to Black. While he did not seem terribly assertive or angry, it was clear that the shorter boy was trying to have a serious and -to him at least- important conversation. Black, however, appeared to be casting aside whatever it was his friend was trying to suggest or ask of him, and was doing so callously and casually at that. Soon enough, Black appeared to be growing irritated and Remus just as quickly dropped the subject and turned his attention to his work, while Black turned his attention to Potter with a smirk, as the messy-haired teen had finally given up on his own work after having a sickly green sap spewed on his robes.
From what Severus observed throughout the rest of the day’s classes, Remus did not attempt to communicate with his friends at all after that, opting to respond only on the occasion that they required him to enter the conversation. The brown-eyed teen otherwise seemed distracted by his thoughts all day.
When he joined Severus and Lily in the library for their study session that evening, Remus seemed to have recovered from the introspection he had been lost to all day, but still appeared somewhat tense, as though he were expecting something unpleasant. Beyond that, his usual mild, polite, and unassuming personality had returned. All three were soon caught up into their studies and the raven-haired boy did not think on the matter anymore for a couple more hours. At that time, Mary, whom Severus had now decided was involved in Lily’s conspiracy to force him and Lupin together, called Lily away to help her and Alice with their Muggle Studies assignment. The two boys continued studying as they had on the previous occasion, however, the initial uncertainty from that session was not present. To Severus’ further confusion, the tension left Remus within a half hour after the girl’s departure.
Wondering if it were simply the calm and comfortable atmosphere that the library had taken now that there were very few other students around, the raven-haired teen decided not to comment on the shorter boy’s behaviour for the time being. Instead, they simply studied together comfortably.
As the next few hours passed, Severus found that Remus possessed a dry sense of humour that matched his own sarcasm and dark humour quite well. The fawn-haired boy also had a way of making most of their assignments enjoyable, even fun at times, yet he still took the work seriously and paid attention, especially when Severus was talking him through the potion they would have to brew in their next Potions class.
Shortly before curfew, the boys looked around the library and found that only Madam Pince remained there, aside from them, so they decided to head to the Gryffindor common room, where Remus checked to see if Lily had returned with her dorm mates. The girl, who had indeed returned to her dorm, came out to apologise about ‘forgetting’, which Severus found unbelievable. His suspicions were confirmed when the girl beamed at hearing that the two boys had been together since her departure, before wasting no time in arranging their next study date, and then disappearing into the common room again.
Remus glanced at Severus after the redhead left them alone in the hall; “Is it just me, or does it seem that Lily has found some co-conspirators for the scheme you mentioned this morning? I wasn‘t even aware that Alice knew my name before just a moment ago…”
The obsidian-eyed teen nodded, “It’s still her plot, but she’s definitely recruited at least Mary.”
The fawn-haired boy nodded, “I think they might be just as frightening together as James and Sirius…speaking of which, do you like pudding, Severus?”
The taller boy blinked dully, but could see that the other boy -who he was still reluctant to call a friend just yet- was leading to something serious with that query; “On occasion…why?”
“I wouldn’t make the feast on Thursday night one of those occasions, if I were you,” replied the scarred teen with a slightly concerned and uncertain tone.
The raven-haired boy arched an eyebrow as he quickly realised what Thursday was, “The Halloween feast?” His eyes narrowed, “Your friends are planning another one of their tricks.” It was not a question or an accusation.
“I don’t know any details yet,” answered Remus, surprising Severus by not attempting to deny anything. “But they are showing far too much interest in the menu and neither of them cares for pistachio pudding. I have their assurances that they won’t consider doing anything particularly dangerous but…please, just be careful.”
Obsidian eyes scrutinised the shorter boy for a moment; Remus’ face still looked slightly concerned and uncertain, his eyes however, had a clear, pleading quality to them. It was as though the other boy’s soul were begging him to understand something, which seemed more important than avoiding a simple trick. Severus nodded his agreement, after all, it was not as though anyone would notice whether he avoided the pistachio pudding at the feast or not.
Remus smiled and his eyes returned to their normal calm before he wished the taller boy a good night and headed into the Gryffindor common room as well.
Once again, the sallow-skinned Slytherin found his thoughts focused on the strange boy deep into the night.
During the Halloween feast, Severus kept a casual eye on the Gryffindor table. Part of him simply wanted to believe his new acquaintance, but he was still too cautious of being made to look a fool by Potter and Black, and the scarred teen was their friend. However, he soon noticed that Remus appeared to be asking his friends something periodically, which caused them to look amused as they denied something or otherwise attempted to assure the fawn-haired boy. That was, until the desserts appeared and the brown-eyed boy made a point of grabbing a spoonful of pudding; Black arched an eyebrow and Potter, wide-eyed, grabbed the other boy’s thin wrist to stop him from actually consuming the dessert. Pettigrew wore a look of horror before he quickly glanced around to see if anyone had noticed the exchange.
Severus casually selected a slice of pumpkin pie for his own dessert and was unsurprised when no less than half the school gasped or shrieked a moment later, as their skin suddenly took on the greenish hue of a pistachio nut. Remus and Lily, the latter of which had been enjoying cake and ice cream when the commotion started, quickly worked their way around the Gryffindor table, casting the appropriate counter-charm on their classmates while the professors tried to calm everyone down. Severus could not help smile into his dessert as McGonagall filled out Potter and Black’s detention slips.
The following weeks passed much the same, although Severus found himself in (and, if he were honest, enjoying) Remus’ company more and more often. Soon, games of wizard’s chess and talks of books and interests beyond school work began to mix into their studying, as they continued to meet in the library, empty classrooms, near the lake, or just to pass a few quick words in the halls before and between classes. Severus quickly found that he and Remus did not need to put as much effort into keeping their growing friendship quiet as he and Lily did, for Remus seemed just as invisible to the student body as Severus himself.
Remus took ill again late into November and Severus was amazed that none of the other students seemed to notice how weak and morose he became, despite the scarred boy’s efforts to conceal his condition. The obsidian-eyed teen had just decided that he would ask the shorter boy whether he had been checked for anaemia the next time they spoke, when he learned that Remus was in the hospital wing once again. Wondering if perhaps Black and Potter had simply claimed that no one could see their ill friend to avoid questions as to why they never did in future, Severus decided to try visiting Remus before turning in. Madam Pomfrey turned him away however, assuring him that Lupin was fine and stating that she did not want her wing crowded or her patients upset. As far as Severus could tell, Remus was the only patient she had that night.
Neither he, nor Remus or Lily brought up the fawn-haired boy’s appearance or illness when they studied together two days later, even though it was clear the boy was not yet completely well. Severus decided to keep an eye on his new friend’s condition from then on, as it was clear that no one else was.
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