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All The Things I Wanted To Hear	By : Epithode Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 6300 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling is a goddess. Do I look like a goddess to you? Then I don't own Harry Potter, now do I? I don't make money off of this either, which should be clear but apparently isn't. Do not own, do not make money of any sort. Got it? Good.

Chapter List
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A/N: It's back! Thank you Alice for loving it this much. I hope you continue to! This chapter is not Adult+ yet, though I changed the rating to this for future chapters.

It may be good to note that in the muggle world at least, at the time this story took place it was considered a mental disorder to be gay. FYI. There may in the future of this story seem to be a huge lack of characters around Tom and Harry. This is because I don't want to waste time developing a bunch of throw-away-you-know-they-would-be-a-death-eater-later characters. The story is almost exclusively bunched around the pairing. There will be fleshing out of characters we already know, cause I don't need to explain a backstory for them!

Lastly, the small look we have into a particular character's mind is a one time- maybe two time- deal. Just to establish the hows and whys and get some consistency going. Have a good read!

Thank you for the review CherryBomb! I do love them so!

Like hell Tom could sleep that night. Instead he cracked the curtains to Harry's bed as he went by it to get to his. When he laid down he also cracked his just so he could see Harry's adorable sleeping face. He inwardly scolded himself for what seemed like the millionth time for being so ridiculous.

But everything that had happened.... obviously, we have feelings that are mutual, to say the least. He reasoned. I can't foresee any reason why I shouldn't allow myself a little leeway. Being, even by Arithmic calculation, a loner, a leader and a dominant person in nature, it confused him to watch himself put Harry before him in anything. Such things won't be necessary. He told himself. My plans don't need to change for anything. Harry and I have a natural and easy relationship. It's been nothing but simple for me to fall for him. And finally, in the wee hours of the morning, Tom managed to convince himself of this and fell into troubled sleep.

----

He woke up with a few short hours of sleep under his belt and was surprisingly wide eyed. Unfortunately, it was a wide-eyed stare at the one thing he had let himself have last night: a glimpse of Harry Potter. And now he was smiling right back at him. Tom could read the words all over his face: I know you cracked the curtains. How sweet.

He could barely contain the upward twitch of his lips, and the look he shot Harry that said It's our secret. Our dirty little secret. After all, he wasn't crazy. People overreacted about nearly everything that society could consider counterproductive. Why would this be different? No, it wouldn't do to show the muggles his regard. As far as the wizards and witches...Gryffindor didn't need any more ammunition. Harry seemed to understand. He nodded.

“Come on, Riddle. Hey- Potter, you up?”

“Yeah.” Harry said quickly, uncovering and getting up to dress.

“We are perfectly capable of making it to our O.W.L.s without your help, thank you, Lestrange.” Tom also rose. He resented the fact that he and Harry didn't have the room to themselves. They could have pushed the beds together and slept side by side. No. Tom checked his fantasies before they blossomed into an uncontrollable monster. He quickly put his attention on preparation. I need to stay focused today. As soon as the summer arrives, I'll suggest this casually to Harry to see his response. He told himself. With a start he realized that he wouldn't mind returning to the orphanage this summer. They could block the door and no one would be the wiser. It wouldn't be the first time some orphan determined not to be bothered had stuck a chair in front of the door. It was the only place known to Tom that they could be open without any interference. He smiled.

Harry and Tom lingered behind the others on the way to the great hall. They were all getting used to this new way of walking now anyway, as Tom never seemed to particularly want anyone around except Harry.

“How long were you up last night?” Harry asked curiously.

Tom sighed. “No matter. I feel quite awake. Harry...what are you planning on doing for the summer?” He asked, purposefully off subject. He had noticed that while Harry's family seemed to flourish in Brittan, they had never contacted him and he had stayed at Hogwarts for other holidays. But it seemed to him now to be strange. “Visiting relatives, I suppose?”

“Tom, I wasn't even willing to be adopted by anyone in my family.” Harry reminded him “Why would I want to visit them? Most of them hate me anyway.”

Feeling suddenly curious, but understanding it somewhat as well, Tom pinned Harry with a questioning gaze.

Harry sighed as if it were a long story. “Basically my dad never really got along with them okay? Plus some of them are...you know....”

“Pureblood supremacists?” Tom asked. Harry winced, so Tom though that to mean he was correct. “You being a half-blood must be disturbing news to them.”

“I've never been ashamed of my mother's heritage.” Harry said without question. Tom looked at him with one eyebrow raised. It was this kind of confident and unflinching bravery in the face of people whom he knew disagreed with him that had thus amazed Tom. Harry stopped in his tracks. “Tom....listen....I”m pretty sure you couldn't be consider a supremisist. I mean....the only reason you don't like muggles is because your father was a muggle, and he was a... bastard.”

Tom chuckled. “You mean, made me one.” He said sarcastically as they entered the great hall.

Harry sat down first, but then whispered. “Well, I was going to say he was a dick.” He blushed.

“Ah...” Tom said with a sardonic smile.

From here the discussion tured to O.W.L.s. Many of the other Slytherins were simply too nervous to eat, but both he and Harry felt resonably comfortable, and with their stomaches full they headed to potions together.

----

I'm doing much better this time. Harry thought, feeling a bit silly. This class seriously didn't change at all since last time. I wish I'd brought a copy of the one I already failed. Harry James Potter, now, unbeknownst to anyone, age 18, sat for the second time in History of Magic, taking his O.W.L.

Though he had failed the other test because of Voldemort, Harry was beginning to feel he would now fail the test because of the distraction of Tom Marvolo Riddle. The progress he had made was more than he could have dreamed. That a little love could turn even the craziest of events into the opposite. Of course...said the voice of an old professor in his head Love is the most powerful thing in the world.

Harry couldn't help but smile. He showed us, didn't he Tom?

Harry couldn't fathom how much he was destroying the timeline. He hoped it was worth it. Sometimes just looking at a sincere smile on the other boy's face was enough to warrant his full approval of his own methods, though. How many dead before this man's evil presence was eliminated? He could save so many. He tried to shake the thought that many other things may change. In any case he seemed to be trapped in the rift of time somehow: stuck between past and present. He wasn't harmed in any way or even aware of any changes that were occurring in the 1990's even if he was causing changes. And he was likely to never return.

He shook his head hard, trying to get himself back into the mind of passing this test. Part of Tom's easy regard for him had, after all, come from the fact that he had already taken these tests. Of course, a few extra subjects he had never taken had gotten him a little leeway in that as well. Looking brilliant was easy after he had already studied the material. Thank you Hermione. You're the best. And a little help from the Prince never failed either. After all, Severus Snape hadn't deserved to die, and Harry felt he would have understood the need for this change, and thus (he hoped) for his use of the book...again.

At first Harry had thought he would look too old to be convincing, but his naturally short stature and seeker's build had payed off somewhere besides the Quidditch field. He looked like Tom, of course; a little tall for his age, and older than fifteen going on sixteen. He had decided this resemblance had actually also worked in his favor.

All he had to do was push the hat in the direction it had always wanted to go anyway- which was Slytherin- and drop a comfortable, open, loving nature right into Tom's lap.

Yes, Tom...so vain of him to fall for someone so...like him. Harry had less trouble admitting now that he and Tom were very much alike. But as Harry had discovered in Arithmancy while doing his first work to catch up to Tom's year before he came to Hogwarts again, Tom's vanity was a part of the package. It was perfect. The personalities so different, but the looks and the talent so similar (at least at this age and with a certain book memorized almost entirely in his head, which the part trained strictly by Hermione told Harry was cheating.)

Harry had decided almost on the spot two nights before, the night of the kis, that this change was what he had really been looking for all along. One friend wouldn't do it, after all. A parent could have, but Tom's father was currently in an uncaring position of wealth in Little Hangleton, and his mother was long gone. And no one but him was willing to try. Probably sensing his inner sociopath but hey....no one's perfect. Harry looked up to glance at Tom and was surprised to find him looking....almost staring....directly at him. It wasn't the first time by any means, but Harry was never very good at hiding his emotions and felt a smile creep up. Tom looked back down at his test, but Harry saw him fighting a grin.

No...this is....easy.

----

“Easy.” Tom said seriously to Harry as they excited their last test of the semester. Harry yawned, but apparently agreed. Not since testing had started at the beginning of the week had Tom mentioned where they would be staying for the summer, feeling that Harry's answer had been satisfactory to him. They would, of course, return to the orphanage together, and spend the summer in lover's bliss.

The thought made chills run down Tom's back, but it was a good sort of feeling so he let it go. However, lately Tom had been hatching a plan in his mind that he felt would be even better than a room alone in a crowded and busy orphanage. “Harry,” Tom began, as soon as he felt they were sufficiently out of earshot of the others, “Will you be returning to the orphanage with me?” he tried to make this sound like a casual question, but Harry's smile told him he hadn't succeeded.

“Of course.” his friend replied cheerfully. “What would you do without me?”

Tom gave him a sarcastically raised eyebrow, but kept the words 'torture the muggles' from coming out. Harry wouldn't like that. “I've managed thus far.” He replied instead.

“Well, I guess I have a few days to make plans then.” Harry said indifferently.

“No!” Tom said, far more forcefully than he had wanted.

Harry looked back at him with his best 'Ah! Caught you!' smile and Tom sneered. “I see no reason that accompanying your sorry muggle-hating arse back to the orphanage wouldn't be at the top of my to-do list this summer.” Harry told him.

“I never said I hated them.” Tom stated a little too quickly.

“What's that saying about actions and words?”

Tom scoffed “Well, you're such a muggle-lover, I'm surprised you'd want to be around someone who so apparently hates them.” Harry's face informed him he didn't have anything to say back to this accusation. “Besides, you said before that you didn't consider me a Wizard Supremisist.” Tom changed the subject. “I suppose, though...if you were willing to buy tickets for the train a few days later, it wouldn't hurt to stay here a while?”

The last summer he had set out on a fruitless journey after school to reclaim his heritage. Though he had found nothing, he had sworn to himself he wouldn't return to the orphanage next year without results. (He noticed suddenly that he had forgotten to keep this stern promise to himself. Tom hadn't researched his family at all during this year. He had been much to occupied in the first semester trying to learn to live with Harry. During second semester, Tom had been dealing with his sudden infatuation with Harry. He had actually lost a lot of his interest in what he had previously considered to be of great importance.) After all, he knew his father must have been a muggle, but he, Tom Riddle, was the heir of a distinguished pureblood family. How had this happened? He pushed the subject out of his mind for now.

Harry was looking at him with some curiosity. “What do you mean? I mean....of course you don't want to go back.” he said, slightly running down the steps to the school grounds.

“I don't so much mind going back.” Tom said, and realized this was true.

“Then you want to stay here for...?” Harry asked. He seemed to be looking around for a nice shady spot, which were mostly already snagged by lucky underclassmen that didn't have any O.W.L.s.

“We could stay in Hogsmead. Or, if you want, return to London and head to the Leaky Cauldron.” Tom suggested, spotting a place with his sharp eyes and heading there without telling Harry outright.

“You want to stay in an inn?” Harry sounded skeptical as he noticed Tom was walking away from him and hastened to follow. They sat down in the shade of a beautiful Elwood close to the lake. It was a bit far out, but Harry was looking around for possible listeners anyway, for reasons unknown.

“Yes.” Tom replied, a bit peeved by Harry's inattention. This didn't last long, as Harry turned directly to him a moment later with almost fierce eyes.

“Why?” Tom was surprised, until Harry asked. “Tom...are you....er...are you trying to get...you know.” He made a motion with his head and eyes down and up, sweeping over Tom's body.

Tom couldn't help laughing a little. “Well, well...Harry.” He teased “So articulate! If you would like...you know.” Tom repeated Harry's gesture, to his friend's annoyance “I am happy to oblige. However, I was merely expecting a room with two beds.” This wasn't, of course, entirely true. But Tom could put up with two beds, if he must.

Harry blushed horribly and Tom felt a spark of pride, mixed with satisfaction. For once he let his fantasies run a little, though not too far. This time they involved a similar look to the one he was giving Tom now as Tom stripped Harry of his robes slowly. More shivers ran though his body.

“Right. Well...” Harry still looked a little untrusting. “Okay. But Tom, how did you get the money for this?” he asked. Tom was a little surprised that he would ask this, but understood the logic.

“I've been saving for some time. I usually do a few gambles, collect sickles from friends and such....for traveling, mostly.”

“Where would you want to go?” Harry asked, but Tom was irked once again to see Harry was looking right past him, ignoring him almost completely. He merely raised an eyebrow, but Harry smiled and he had to turn to see.

Just in time to hear “Good afternoon, Professor.” From Harry's lips.

“Harry. Tom.” Dumbledore nodded at them in turn. Tom noticed that his professor maintained the same kind of tired air about him that Tom had been experiencing lately. As if everything had grown weary for him, and things couldn't be much worse. Knowing that he was heavily involved in politics, Tom felt the war was taking it's toll on Dumbledore. But why? These kinds of questions were a large part of why Tom had trouble feeling attached. There were always deeper meanings, and no one could be trusted to inform you of them. Tom wondered if Harry, who obviously admired Dumbledore, had noticed his tiredness. But then again....Harry had just come from that area. He hadn't yet even mentioned the war himself...

“Professor.” Tom acknowledged, believing Dumbledore had the worst timing in Hogwarts. He had been working up to inviting Harry with him all week, after all.

“What are you doing so far from all of your friends?” Tom got the idea that his Professor was dropping some sort of a hint, and he didn't like it.

“Oh....Tom and I were just making summer plans.”

“Not returning home, then?”

Tom could barely contain a smile at these words, albiet a very sardonic one. Home?

“Well, professor...” Harry began “Tom and I are home.” Both Tom and Dumbledore smiled. “Actually, we were thinking the Leaky Cauldron.” Tom's face fell visibly. Dumbledore seemed to notice. How can he share all our plans so openly with him? “Do you know how rates are there?” Harry asked.

“No, I'm afraid not.” Tom was getting the feeling, though he wasn't looking at Dumbledore anymore, than he must be staring at him like a person would a howler poised delicately between closed and VERY open. No wonder, as he felt like a howler.

“What about Hogsmead, sir?” Harry asked. Tom was just thinking how there was no way a teacher, who had no reason for accommodations so close to the castle, would know this information when Dumbledore answered with a wide smile.

“I see you've noticed.” He said. “The Hog's head has reasonable rates...but the crowd can be a little rough for a couple of young students.” He warned.

Tom looked up again. “Sir?”

“Tom?”

“Noticed what, sir?”

Dumbledore smiled. “They have the same color eyes.” Harry said as if the information was commonplace. “Professor Dumbledore and Aberforthe are related.”

“We are, in fact, brothers.”

Tom knew he looked slightly started. It was nothing to how he felt. How had Harry drawn such an easy conclusion? “Don't you think they look alike?” Harry asked him. Tom nodded, though truthfully until now, no, he had never noticed this.

“I was unaware, sir.” He said simply. “I was, no offense, thinking along the lines of the three broomsticks myself, sir.”

“None taken.” Said the transfiguration teacher, his blue eyes (yes, very like Aberforthe's, and just as mischievous) sparkling with humor. “I agree that the Hog's Head isn't the best place for a few night's good rest.” Harry grinned and Tom raised an eyebrow. “Though I must admit I don't know rates for anything at the three broomsticks but their wonderful oak-matured mead.”

“I'll bet Slughorn could get us that information fine.” Harry joked.

“Professor Slughorn, Harry.” His teacher corrected, but not without an understanding smile.

“Sorry sir.” Harry replied.

“Well, I hope you do plan to return to the orphanage at least for a while.”

“Oh these are temporary plans.” Harry reassured him. “I couldn't afford to stay for than say...five nights or so?” he looked at Tom for reassurance and Tom nodded back once.

“Surely you plan to visit your family?” The professor pressed.

“I'm....afraid not, sir. See...we aren't very...close.” Harry said somewhat sadly. Dumbledore didn't ask any questions about this. On the contrary he seemed to understand it very well.

“Well, good luck to you both in your endeavor. I suggest you send a speedy owl to London, then.”

“Ah, we'll be adventurous.” Harry said with a smile. “If we get to London and it's too expensive well, the orphanage isn't far from there.” Tom thought this was fairly logical as well. Staying close to Hogwarts would only make him miss it more, after all. He was sure Harry would feel the same.

“Well, have fun in Diagon Alley. And give ah...the other Tom my regards.”

“Will do, sir.” Harry promised.

“And...” He seemed to think hard about how to say something for a while, then pierced them both with a serious eye. “Behave yourselves.”

“Yes, sir.” Harry said automatically.

“Good afternoon, sir.” Tom said with a slight iinclination of the head. They both watched Dumbledore walking up to the castle for a minute. “Why on earth....” Tom began, turning to Harry.

“Did I tell him our plans?”

“I swear Harry Potter, you are a legitamens.”

Harry grinned widely. “No, you're predictable.” Then he added, “Why shouldn't he know what we're doing for the summer? He's just concerned for our well-being, as we are both alone and nearly friendless.”

“We are not nearly friendless-”

“Yeah, we are. Not real friends, anyway. Come on, Tom. All we really have is each other, and Dumbledore knows it and you and I both know it too.”

“Yes, and I suppose 'Aberforthe' knows it?”

“Maybe he does.” Harry challenged. Tom visibly backed down. “I never asked because I don't need to read into people's actions constantly.” There was a bit of silence, and then Harry said “you have no right not to like either of them.”

Tom felt very differently, but agreed just to make Harry calm down. “You're right. I'm sorry.”

“And you don't need to do that to me.”

“Do what?”

“That.” Harry said sternly. “That polite..perfect little....you're-right-and-I'm-wrong-except-not-really-I'm-really-right-I-just-don't-want-you-to-know-I-think-so thing.”

“Sorry.” Tom said quietly, and this time it was genuine.

“Thank you.” Harry sighed. “I'm your best friend, Tom, I can see right through you.”

“I know.” Tom said simply. He took a deep breath. “I don't like it, that's why I don't like him.”

Harry half-smiled, but looked somewhat surprised Tom would say this. “Well, you like me, right?”

“I thought that was quite obvious.” Tom said truthfully.

“Then you still have no right not to like him.”

“Did you hear what he said?” Tom asked, half joking now, and unsure why he was. “Behave yourselves: and looking at us like he can read our every thought on our faces.”

“Why do you care?”

“Behave myself?” Tom said, as if to say 'I'm a Slytherin' at the end as well. Instead he added, “When the thing I want most is asleep in an empty room with me not three meters away?”

“I KNEW IT!” Harry yelled. Tom laughed. A few first years near the closest trees jerked awake and looked around. “I just knew it.” Harry said, more quietly. Tom laughed harder. “You just want...” he lowered his voice to a whisper, “to get down my pants!”

“Harry!” Tom said, looking around to make sure no one heard and covering Harry's mouth in surprise with two fingers. Harry shook him off. “Shh! Haha! I'm only joking!”

“You are not!” Harry said, and it almost sounded like a warning.

“Please...Harry....you did say you didn't mind being chased, didn't you?'

And Harry didn't have anything to say to that.

A/N: I secretly really wanted to continue this so you could probably expect another chapter on the...soon side.
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All The Things I Wanted To Hear