Destined to Fade | By : BlindedHP Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 5982 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
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Title:Not the same destiny
Summary:Waking up on a grass field was nothing new. Waking up at all after believing himself to be dead, was.
Disclaimer:I do not own Harry Potter. Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings:Spoilers for all the books. Mention of slash pairing. Creature!Harry. Reference to non-con and paedophilia
Warnings for this chapter (the sequel):Mention of non-con and paedophilia. Slash pairing, Creature!Harry, Top!Severus, bottom!Harry
Not the same destiny
Waking up on a grass field was nothing strange to Harry. Waking up after resigning himself to an inevitable death, however, was.
There was a distant echo of a knock before a feeling of déjavu overcame him.
He could hear the scraping of a chair and soft footfalls before the door was wrenched open with a disgruntled What!
Severus Snape stood in the doorframe and Harry could only lie there and gape. He looked exactly as he did the first time Harry saw him when his phoenix side decided to deliver him to his mate's doorstep.
Not knowing exactly what was going on but realising that this was even more bizarre than what he had experienced thus far, Harry promptly fainted.
Hushed voices whispering fervently together woke him up and Harry blearily looked around. He was in the hospital wing. Am I not supposed to be dead?a cynical voice in the back of his head piped up.
Memories slowly returned to him and Harry wondered if one of a phoenix's unknown powers was the power to manipulate time. It would really not surprise him – who knew exactly where a phoenix came from when it suddenly appeared in front of you? For all he knew, the Fawkes he spoke to last year – what he thought was last year – might have come from ten years back or even ten years in the future. Phoenixes didn't age; they grew old in human years, died a burning death but then rose again from the ashes. He had read somewhere that the longer a phoenix had been around, the darker their plumage would be but for a phoenix to go from a vibrant red plumage to a deep maroon took thousands of years.
No one could possibly know the difference of Fawkes now, and the Fawkes of fifty years ago.
It was a thought that Harry would really have to research as it had a potential to be very dangerous in the wrong hands.
"Well now, Mr Potter, I had hoped not to see you again so soon after school ended! If you missed me, you should have simply made a firecall."
The cheeky expression on Madam Pomfrey's face was a contrast to the worried look in her eyes.
"Can you tell us exactly what happened Mr Potter? Professor Snape said he heard a knock on his door but when he opened it he found you lying on the ground. One moment you were looking at him with bewilderment and the next you passed out."
Her words confirmed one thing for Harry – this Madam Pomfrey did not know of his status as a magical creature, much less that he was a phoenix.
If he had indeed travelled back in time, Harry wondered why this happened and what he was supposed to do now. The obvious answer was that he was supposed to change things but how?
"Er.. well, I'm not exactly sure what happened Madam Pomfrey."
Harry wondered if he should just leave it at that or if he should tell her the truth as he had the first time around. This time the only difference was that he already knew what he was and what was causing him to wake up in different places.
Deciding that the truth would eventually come out and that no real harm had come from revealing everything the first time around, Harry started telling them of the first and second time this strange phenomenon happened to him.
He included that he had done a bit of research and found that he was a human-phoenix and that his magic was trying to bring him closer to his mate in order for him to gain control over his powers and eventually be able to transform. His knowledge on the subject seemed to surprise them but Harry was too weary, too tired to take any pleasure in surprising his Professor – his mate.
Although he had already acknowledged that Snape was his mate, his heart had not yet processed exactly what this meant and what this second chance could mean. There was a flare of hope that wanted to ignite in his heart but Harry squashed it out as he had so many times before.
"Other than the fact that you have a new status in society, you are right as rain and allowed to vacate my hospital wing. If I see you again within two months Mr Potter, you had better have a very good excuse. I do not know why you keep insisting on landing yourself in my care."
Harry smiled widely at the matron and saluted her as he jumped off the bed. Grabbing his wand off the side-table, Harry bid them both a farewell and made his way to the edge of the wards to hail the night bus.
Maybe this time around I should actually go for my apparition test…Harry mused to himself as he waited for his transport to arrive.
Severus Snape stirred the potion he was creating for an order that 'Slug and Jiggers' had placed. His hands were steady and the motions smooth even as his mind was in turmoil.
His freedom after the final battle had come as a huge shock; the compensation the ministry granted him for his service for the light was something that went beyond his wildest dreams. He now had the ability and the funds to do anything he could possible want. He could open his own apothecary or he could invest in some promising businesses. There were a lot of options that had opened up to him since his trial at the beginning of the summer.
One thing he had refused to acknowledge though was how this had all been made possible.
Harry Potter.
The name brought a sneer to his face even as he thought of all the young man had accomplished in life. There was something to be said for foolish Gryffindors – they rarely, if ever, gave up.
A deep sorrow filled him suddenly and he almost lost his momentum with his stirring.
What in Merlin's name was that?
Harry had decided that he was going to make the most of this second chance he had been granted. Okay, he may not go so far as to actually confront his mate or tell him that he already knew who his mate was and wanted desperately to know if there could possibly be a chance for them to work it out. No, what he was going to do was enjoy his last few months on earth in a way he had not the first time around.
Rummaging through his closet, Harry came to the depressing realisation that he owned absolutely nothing that would be acceptable in any muggle society. His robes always covered his cousin's cast offs and at school he really hadn't cared what people thought of him.
A visit to Gringotts was in order and from there he would descend on the muggle shopping district for some appropriate clothes.
The last time Harry had ventured into Diagon Alley was when his phoenix side transported him back to his aunt and uncle's place. After that, he had refused to go into any wizarding area except Hogwarts.
Well-wishers and fans surrounded him as soon as they recognised who he was and Harry had a hard time fending them off.
As he entered Gringotts, he breathed a sigh of relief as the guards stopped the mob of people following him.
He drew a lot of money, not wanting to have to return here and face that crowd again and exchanged 500 pounds worth of muggle money.
A goblin pointed him toward the floo as Harry tried to ready himself for the crowd of fans waiting for him. Giving the goblin a relieved smile, Harry hurried over to the fire place and flooed to the Leaky Cauldron where he quickly made his exit into muggle London.
The leather trousers might have been a bit much, Harry decided as he dodged what must have been the sixth time someone tried to grab his bum.
The club he found himself in was a hectic, noisy place. Not having ever been in such a place before, Harry was yet to decide if he liked it or not. The writhing bodies on the dance floor were certainly eliciting a positive response from his body but the noise and constant grabbing of his backside was getting to him.
A pale blonde man gave him an appreciative look and Harry blushed as he took the proffered glass from the bartender. Nodding his head in thanks to the blonde, Harry turned his attention back to the dance floor.
The blonde settled himself next to Harry and they chatted a while about everyday things but when the man started to advance a bit further, Harry heard the now dreaded whistling starting in his ears.
Spouting a quick excuse about needing the loo, Harry dashed into the toilets and an empty stall just in time to find his vision blacking out.
"You certainly are full of surprises, aren't you Mr Potter?"
The silky voice could belong to no other than his mate and Harry had to stop his instinctive reaction to reach out for what he needed – contact with his mate.
"First your creature side decides to transport here because apparently you feel 'safe' here but do not think that I will believe that for a second time. Hogwarts is just as well protected and has always been a home to you so I'll ask once, why is it that you've ended up here for a second time and why in Merlin's name are you dressed like that!"
Harry blinked down at his clothes and blushed as he remembered where he had been before his phoenix side transported him here.
"Er.. well, no reason sir."
"That is the most abysmal answer I've ever heard from you. Which question exactly were you trying to answer with that?"
Harry mentally kicked himself for his idiotic answer but for some or other reason, he just could not think up a reasonable excuse. His heart and mind were fighting with each other over which course of action to take – his heart desperately wanted to tell his mate all he knew while his head kept interfering with damning evidence as to why it would be a bad idea.
His mate hated him, that, Harry had already learned and come to accept the first time around. There was no need to open up that box again; Snape had nailed it quite sufficiently once already.
"I was out at a muggle club tonight, hoping to enjoy the evening as I do not know how many of those I have left."
"Oh please Mr Potter, spare us your drama. I am certain the Potter luck will hold out once again and you will find your mate in time, learn to control your powers and live happily ever after. Do please try and get a male as you mate Potter, we do not want another generation of Potters to darken the halls of Hogwarts."
Harry wondered if there was any significance to the fact that once again, the second phase started just as his mate was verbally cutting him down.
His vision blurred but Harry found one significant difference in this situation that did not happen before; this time Snape actually caught him.
The room he was in was not familiar to him. Sitting up slowly and reaching out to feel if his glasses were near, Harry was very thankful to feel their familiar frames on the bedside table and quickly put them on.
"Madam Pomfrey expressed her wishes and opinions very clearly the last time you were there Potter so I did not feel it necessary to transfer you there. I am quite capable of handling your situation now that I am abreast with it."
Harry said nothing and only watched as Snape moved from the corner he'd been lurking in to present him a potion's bottle.
"Drink! It is a calming draught with a nutrition potion mixed in".
A slow smirk crossed the man's features as Harry drank the concoction down.
"There might also be a mild truth potion in it."
Harry's horrified look seemed to brighten the man's day even more.
When Severus had first decided to trick the brat into drinking a truth potion, he thought only of what good it would do their situation. Potter was a nervous wreck around him – something that was completely foreign when encountering the boy and he refused to answer Severus's questions.
Thus, the need for the truth potion.
What he had not expected however was that the truth was even more terrible than what his twisted mind had conjured.
Potter's fight with his phoenix's side, his battle against his own magic and his will to be a burden onto no one but himself shook Severus to the core.
That Potter had died – or at least thought he did – while keeping all of this bottled up only to spill his secrets at the last minute was not something that Severus would have ever thought possible of the boy. He was a Gryffindor, he was brash, hard-headed and most of all, he never gave up.
It was blatantly evident to Severus that Potter had indeed given up – given up on him, on Severus.
Having to find out that you are solely responsible for an innocent's death was a troubling revelation. Sure, the boy did not actually die but that was just because fate apparently had not played with it's favourite toy for long enough yet.
The heart wrenching scene Potter had described of his dying moments flitted through Severus's mind and he held his head in his hands.
Potter's memory of the past two hours had been erased – Severus knew that above all, Potter valued trust the most and this was a breach like no other.
Severus now only had to decide what to do with this new information.
The whole Snape fiasco as Harry had called it blew over quickly and he found himself once again enjoying his freedom.
The club was becoming something of a nightly ritual for him and although he did not dance or mingle with the people there, there was something about the atmosphere in the club that sang to his defeated spirit and lifted him into the plains above.
His eyes swept the club, looking with appreciation at the well toned muscles some of the men's clothing showed. After a minute of gazing around, Harry swivelled his head back again and saw the smirking face of his mate. The man was dressed in black – obviously – but instead of billowing robes, his clothes were moulded to his body and Harry swallowed hard.
A waved hand indicated that Snape wanted him to join him and Harry downed the rest of his drink, knowing that he would need the liquid courage for this confrontation.
The young man was dressed just as finely as when he had appeared on Severus's lawn. Skin tight black leather pants with a dark green silk shirt enhanced his muscles and Severus could not blame the men and woman who reached out to grab a hold of his fine ass.
"Mr Potter, I do not believe I have ever seen you so relaxed. How much have you had to drink already?"
There was no blush or stutter tonight, Potter was in his element here and he simply replied with a raised eyebrow.
"That is certainly none of your business Snape. I enjoy coming here and as I am both of age and no longer a student of yours, I do not believe that you can do anything about it."
"Oh, but I do Mr Potter. If I am to help you control your power you will need to learn some respect as I will be your anchor and tutor."
If the brat could not figure out by now that Severus knew he was his mate, then all his vicious name calling of idiot, worthless and incompetent brat actually had truth to it.
Potter was not the idiot Severus always took him for however and the young man looked him straight in the eye and simply asked "How?"
"How? Does not matter Potter. The fact is that I know and that I have decided to accept this as my responsibility. I am your mate and thus your only hope in surviving your next birthday. Do not mistake this as pity Potter! I do not wish to become a murderer after you have worked so hard to exonerate me in the past. If you die Potter, it will be because of me and that I cannot abide by."
The scathing look Potter wanted to send him when he first thought Severus was doing this out of pity now morphed into a look of combined realisation and resignation.
Severus had a feeling that something he'd said hurt the man but he could not place his finger on what it was.
"Come Potter, even though I do enjoy writhing bodies, I much prefer my men to solely focus on me."
A delightful blush surfaced on Potter's face and Severus smirked in triumph.
The past month was a dream come true for Harry. He spent most of his time at spinners end and although Snape was still a bastard, he had reigned in his tongue a bit and only cut Harry's self-esteem down when he felt it was actually deserved.
Once again, Harry had been overwhelmed by the sheer number of things that Snape could teach him. Apparently, gaining control of his power involved meditation so that he could look deep inside himself and grasp his magical core where he now, painstakingly, everyday tied a piece of it to his phoenix form which he found was literally fused with his being. If he did not tie his magical core to his phoenix form, his phoenix form – fused with his body – would die with his human body as there was no magic to help it transform.
There were two months left before his birthday and Harry could not help but marvel at the difference in who he was now compared to who he was before the 'time travelling'.
One thing Harry could have done without however was the constant hard on he sported whenever his mate was near him. He knew, from all the books he read that they did not need to develop a sexual relationship for him to survive like many other creatures did.
Knowing that intellectually and knowing it in your heart were two different things however.
His heart and most recently his mind as well, was screaming at him to stop being a fool and to tell his mate that he wanted to try an actual relationship with him.
Gathering his dwindling courage, Harry approached the man who was busy reading a potions journal.
"Er… Excuse me sir."
"What now Mr Potter?"
Even though the words were short, Harry could see that the man was not really irritated with him.
Those lips drew his eyes and Harry felt his pulse quicken but before he could make an utter fool of himself, he quickly said "N…nothing sir, ss…sorry sir." And turned around to scramble back to his side of the room.
A hand on his arm stopped him cold and Harry looked into the dark eyes of his mate.
"You wanted to say something Potter. I could see it burning in your eyes but then you got distracted. Tell me Potter, do you find me attractive? Do you find my lips fascinating? Do you even realise that you fairly scream sexual frustration every day you are here and that you watch me more than you concentrate on your meditation. Do you even realise that you're leaning into me? That you're basically begging me for a kiss?"
Harry's breath sped up and his eyes dilated with every word Snape said, not that Harry heard the words but that voice was doing things to him that he could not explain.
Lips brushed his softly and Harry was embarrassed to hear a small sound escaping him even as strong arms crushed him to a solid chest.
Reason flew out the window as Harry found himself in his mate's embrace and he fairly ripped his nails into Snape's shirt.
"Oh, you are a feisty one aren't you Potter. How close are you hmmm? How many pulls on that delicious hot flesh would it take to send you over the edge? Two, three strokes?"
A hot hand cupped him through his jeans and Harry gasped into the mouth ravishing his as he came in his pants.
"That was embarrassingly quick Potter, I will endeavour to teach you stamina."
Harry did not have the energy to feel affronted and he gave a little sigh as he buried himself deeper into the strong chest.
Severus felt for the first time in his life that he had truly accomplished something great. It was an even better feeling than when he had received his Mastership in potions – for that was something that numerous other people had also succeeded in before and after him.
No, what Severus felt actual pride in was to see Harry Potter celebrating his birthday with his friends and colleagues. Knowing that this was not the original outcome of this day still caused Severus a certain amount of shame – as he alone was to blame for the first outcome but this, this birthday and the smile on Potter's face was a true gift and an accomplishment he could take pride in.
The fact that right after this party he and Harry would have their own little party caused Severus to shift in his seat with anticipation.
Harry was a very responsive lover and although they had not had intercourse yet, Severus had given and received pleasure enough times to know that he would wait however long it took and it would not be a hardship for him.
"Must you sit here and brood all day Severus? It's a party and although I know you do not like Mr Potter, do endeavour not to ruin it for him!"
Severus turned to look at Minerva and smirked at her. "Who said I did not like Mr Potter, Minerva? Who do you think is responsible for getting him through to this day? Who do you think helped him to control his powers and make that first transformation?"
The sputtering of his one-time colleague caused him to chuckle and he turned away from her before she could demand any details.
"Hmmmm, yes, oh just like that, hmmmm"
Severus chucked at the incoherent mumbling as he settled himself on top of Harry.
"You looked absolutely ravishing today Mr Potter. I had to control myself not to rip those blasted Weasley's hands off as they groped you. You're a little tease Mr Potter but remember one thing…"
Severus paused here to make sure Harry was paying attention to his words and not just his voice.
"You're MINE! I do not share and I do not take kindly to those who try to take what is mine."
Harry looked up at him and the vulnerability in his gaze was precious to Severus.
"I want you Harry. I am your mate and just as I am yours, you are mine! Do you understand? I have come to… care… for you Harry and I will not let all my efforts go to waste."
A smile blossomed on Harry's face and he leaned up to kiss Severus.
"I understand S..Severus – is it alright if I call you that? I've wanted this for a long time. Wanted someone who wanted me and would care for me – I will not give you any reason to throw this away."
"Yes, brat, you may call me Severus, or sir, whichever is preferable." The wicked smirk on his face conveyed to the young man exactly which his preference was.
"Are you a virgin Harry?"
Quick as lightning the mood changed and Severus had no idea why.
Oh Merlin, oh no, what now? What should I do? What should I say? He said he didn't want to share me. He said I am his and no one else's. What's going to happen when he realise that I already belong to someone? What's he going to do when he realise that I'm broken goods?
The panic in those green eyes was not something Severus expected. What was going through Harry's mind now? Why was he freaking out?
"Harry, Harry! If you're not ready for this step then it's fine, I will never force myself on you. I have never and will never condone rape. If you tell me to stop, I'll stop. Do you understand?"
Harry's breathing evened out and Severus waited patiently for him to compose himself.
"I'm not, er, it's not. I'm not a virgin sir. Haven't been for a very long time."
Severus froze as the young man's voice betrayed his true feelings.
"Harry, look at me."
"Did someone force you? Did someone take you against your will?"
The soft 'yes' broke Severus's composure and he pulled the young man against him.
"Hush, it's alright. We'll work through this. You'll be alright. I will not do anything you don't want me to do. I will not force you Harry, I give you my word."
"I know Severus. I believe you and it's not that I'm not ready or that I need to work through what had happened. I've done that, I know that what he did was wrong and that there was nothing I could do. The thing is, I'm not only yours. I was his first, I belonged to him but you said you do not share so now I can't be with you and I don't know what to do…"
Severus went through a mental list of curses he could inflict on whoever did this to Harry. To make him think that he could never belong with someone else. To make him think that he would never fit in anywhere else and would always be seen as used goods made his blood boil.
"Come now Mr Potter, do you really think so little of yourself and of me? Are you here with me now or are you with that bastard? Who did you choose to go home with tonight? Who is with you now when you need the support? Pull yourself together and we will discuss this like civilised adults."
Even though the words were harsh, Severus kept his tone gentle and he coaxed Harry into a sitting position.
"I told you that I do not share – what I mean with that is that I will never invite anyone else into our sexual relationship and expect the same courtesy from you. I will not tolerate anyone placing a hand on you unless it is a hug from a close friend. You and I belong together and as such, we ARE together – are we not? We can make this relationship work if we both fight for it."
Green eyes stared at him for a long time before a small smile graced Harry's features.
Severus was not prepared for the young man to throw himself at him and devour his mouth. Quickly turning them around, Severus growled as he grabbed Harry's hands and held them above his head in a tight grip.
"I will show you just how much I want you here and will make you want for nothing and no one else."
A soft mewl was his answer and Severus proceeded to show Harry just how much he had come to mean to him and how much he was cared for.
The phoenix flying above the mansion gave a low trill and Severus looked up to see his bond-mate land on the ground in front of them. As he was Harry's mate and as the two were already in an established relationship, Severus had asked Harry to marry him six months after his birthday, they were bonded a month later.
"You look magnificent in that form, as always."
Severus rarely gave praise but Harry did not pester him to bestow more affection and endearments on him than he saw fit. Harry was someone who truly understood him and cared for him like no one else.
"Thank you Severus."
Harry placed a chaste kiss on his lips but before the brat could pull away, Severus grabbed him around the waist and pulled him into his lap where he proceeded to ravish him.
The emotions swirling in those green eyes always took his breath away and Severus felt that he would not live long enough to deserve it, even if he reached the ripe old age of 200.
"I love you Severus"
They had never said the words before and Severus was in too much shock to do anything but stare straight ahead.
Harry placed a soft kiss on his forehead and as Severus struggled to clear his throat Harry said "I know" and walked into their new home.
End of Not the same Destiny
There was a suggestion that I write a sequel and I decided to do so. Hope you liked it!
The feeling of sorrow Severus experienced near the beginning of this story was an 'echo' of what the other Severus experienced on Harry's death
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