Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Car Crash Lovers & Angry Sunsets	By : jessebarbieheart Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 1711 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of her delicious characters. Though I wish I could, I will never make proffit from this lovely fic.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
I Watch You and I Can't Forget

Was this seriously all he could afford?

There were puke stains on the carpet. The bed smelt of sex and defecation. It was impossible to even open the microwave without being accosted by molded burritos. And there was something off about the pillows. They were an unusual color and texture. Overall, this room was like a nightmare, and he hadn't even gone to sleep yet.

"I hate you, Sirius Black..."

"Right, he hates you, too."

Remus whipped his head around to look at the door of the motel. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the man in the doorway. "What are you doing here?" he spat, wishing the door would lock. Or close all the way, for that matter.

This was the last face he wanted to see on the planet earth right now. It was a face he could go without seeing for the rest of his life, really. It made his blood boil in unnatural levels just to see that smirk he remembered so well. The one he and James used to share...

Tears threatened to burst, causing another flare of anger to swell up within him. He turned away from his old friend and tugged at his hair. There was no way he was going to go through this again. Like he had every year on the same date.

From the side of the bed, he snatched up a bottle. It was ironic the way he was choosing to cope. Without any hesitation, he unscrewed the lid and took a long, hard swig. He shuddered at the taste, but didn't let that stop him. Another gulp was going down his throat just as he was getting over the taste of the gin.

"I'm going to say it again, Remus – It's been seventeen years..." Sirius stepped further into the cramped, foul room.

Seventeen years... Had it really been that long? It felt like just yesterday they were all happy together. All of them. Lily, James, Peter, Remus, and... And Sirius. At the same time, it seemed like ages ago that they could have been so comfortable even being in the same room as one another.

Because of his thought process, Remus didn't even bother to reply. He just glared up at the man, daring him to go on. Though he wished he wouldn't. What he wanted was just to be left alone in this horrid room for the night.

Scratch that – He wished he was at home with his wife in his own, at least clean bed.

Remus took another depressing drink from the bottle and settled on the off colored sheets. "Seventeen long years, you asshole. You have no idea what I have gone through."

"Let me stop you right there!" Sirius slammed the door behind him, hands on his hips. He went to sit but caught the look given to him, and reconsidered it. Instead, he took a seat on the dresser next to the television with a hole through the glass. "Since when are you so damn...angry? You're not the person I remember you to be. You used to be so much more relaxed. I think I miss that." He smiled gently, but it dissipated when he realized he was the only one even trying here.

All the response Remus gave was another tip of the bottle back into his mouth.

After a few minutes, Sirius gave up waiting for his former friend to say anything. He sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "Anyway...can I just say that you're not the only one who suffered, Remus?"

"You may not."

This was starting to get a little irritating. Sirius visibly collapsed into himself and rubbed at his temple. Did he deserve this? Slowly, he began to speak again, hesitant and waiting for an interruption. "Lily and James were not just your mates. And if you think that I don't regret what happened, you are sorely mistaken. I did my time for it, Remus. Trust me..." A look of haunted despair crossed his features. He glanced invitingly at the gin, but immediately thought against it. No doubt that would only make matters worse.

Remus looked up and caught Sirius in the glance. He held it for a moment, once more regretful. But this emotion passed as he tore his eyes away and muttered out, "You should still be in prison..."

"Even after thirteen years...yes, I probably should be."

Caught off guard, the other man raised his head of dirty blonde hair. He looked over the man he had blamed for everything. Apparently, he held himself responsible as well. "Well..."

Sirius raised a brow and waited for more of a retort. When it didn't come, he stood up and tried once again to sit beside his Remus. This time, he was allowed and smiled gratefully. "Remus, I know you hold me at fault for everything. And you're right to. My bad decision caused everyone pain. Poor Peter took his own life from grief... I wish I would have died along with all three of them."

"Then, by all means, go kill yourself. I'll provide the gun."

And that was the final straw. Sirius stood and leveled a look at Remus, judging the distance quickly between them. After only a second of consideration, he cocked back his fist and landed a punch right into the other's jaw.

Both of them were too stunned to say anything, let alone move. They stared at each other for an incredibly long moment of silence. Finally a connection they had nearly forgotten about was being restored. Between their gazes was an invisible line of friendship, slowly reforming. No matter how uncomfortable they were starting to get, the men couldn't force themselves to look away. Realization was dawning on them and they were unable to stop it.

"Ouch," Remus finally said, eyes shifting only slightly to look up at the other. Even though he had just been punched in the face, a smile was starting to pull at the corner of his mouth. And shortly after that, he was starting to laugh. Either that or he was crying. It was hard to tell which, since there were tears in his eyes but it sounded like he was chuckling.

Absolutely perplexed, Sirius sat down again and just stared at him. This wasn't exactly a normal reaction for someone who was hit in the mouth. "Remus...?"

The possible snickers turned into full on crying. Remus lay back on the bed and covered his eyes with a little too much pressure. The other gently rested his hand on his leg for comfort. "Don't touch me...please."

Sirius sighed and nodded, taking his hand back. "I'm really sorry. If only I could remember what happened that night...I think I could have some closure. And I could properly apologize to you and everyone else. But for now...this will have to do. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"...I told you not to go."

Something about the way Remus said this made Sirius feel even worse. He pushed his hair back away from his face, giving him more room to breathe. Or at least mentally. Gathering his thoughts, he once more looked at the man and let loose with a string of nonsensical apologies.

Remus stopped him with a wave of his hand and shook his head. "Just...stop for the moment. You can ask for more forgiveness later."

Nodding, Sirius let himself quiet down. He settled back into his seat on the mattress, staring down at his feet. Without babbling about how wrong he was, he had no idea what else to say.

The hush of the air made the motel room once more uncomfortable. The two men tried to think of something they wanted to let out, but found it rather difficult. Seventeen years of not speaking to one another had damaged all trust and friendship they had built before that.

After a half hour, the awkwardness was really getting to them. They peeked over at each other at the same time, and then averted their gazes straight away. Sirius cleared his throat, standing and going towards the door. "I'll get out of your hair, now, I suppose. You probably want to sleep off my annoying apologies."

Remus chuckled with only a small amount of actual delight. He found himself standing as well and following him. "It, uh...it wasn't that bad." He nervously ran his fingers through his hair and looked around the disgusting area he was forced to live in for the moment. Nymphadora had even called to make sure he knew he wasn't welcome home tonight. And probably wouldn't be for a couple nights to come. His bad behavior with their guests had apparently made an impact. Rather than getting his way, though, he was being punished with this motel that he couldn't even afford one night in.

And, apparently, Remus wasn't the only one who noticed this. Having seen the sudden turn this relationship had taken, Sirius took advantage of the situation. He ran his fingers over the rotting wood of the door before opening it. "You know, Remus...this place really doesn't seem safe. There could be...asbestos in the walls or something. You really should stay in somewhere better than this..." His eyes rose to meet the other's, a silent pleading evident within them.

"Come stay with me."

Remus' eyebrows shot up, his head flashing up in surprise from where he was staring at the floor. "What?" This was a little soon... Sirius was expecting everything to be fine between them this quickly? Just because he had apologized over and over, that was supposed to be the end of it?

If this motel wasn't so revolting, it would have taken longer to consider the offer. "Yes. Thank you," he said hastily and slipped his shoes on.

Sirius smiled kindly and gestured towards a car parked just outside. "Come on, then."

He walked to the Bentley Arnage and unlocked the door. Remus looked on in appreciation, examining its deep red color. "Oh...wow." He looked up at his friend with a fully confident expression. There was no doubt that he wanted to go stay with Sirius now. If his house was anything like this car... "What do you do for a living?"

With a chuckle, the other got into driver's side and started the V8 engine. "Get in, please." Once Remus was settled in the seat beside him, he backed out and began to drive. They took a road that headed out of town and into the countryside. As soon as they had cleared the traffic, Sirius looked over and said softly, "I own a motorcycle dealership and automobile repair shop. And Severus has a chemical engineering degree, so he helps me by developing new types of oil and such."

That was more than impressive. Eyebrows raised, Remus nodded and just listened. Both of them were successful men. And what had happened to him? He dropped out of university and now was a stay at home husband while his wife worked for little to none as a waitress at some dinky restaurant. Well, didn't that make him feel like an absolute failure? Clearing his throat, he watched the scenery go by. "That's great," he said a little stiffly.

"Tonks never did tell me what you do. Did you ever become that amazing teacher you used to work so hard for?"

Teeth clenched, Remus shook his head. Of course, he had to ask. Why couldn't Sirius just leave him feeling useless all alone? "Dora makes the money," he mumbled in the same tone as before.

"Oh...I see." Sirius could sense the sensitivity of the situation and let it be for now. He continued to drive them towards the house with only the roar of the engine for background noise. At some point, he became tired of the discomfort and turned the radio to a heavy rock station. Remus wrinkled his nose in distaste but kept still. There was no need to get upset with someone who was just trying to help him out for a few days. Or as long as it took for Nymphadora to get over this tiff of hers.

The drive to Sirius' place took much longer than Remus had imagined. They apparently didn't live just down the road from the town where he was. Instead, it was about an hour and a half away.

When they finally did reach the house, Remus' jaw dropped. He looked around the large estate and literally was speechless. For starters, the house was huge! Calling it a house was like an understatement, at least to him. It was five times the size of his and Nymphadora's cottage. It was three stories high, not including the basement. And there was even a garage with the same square-footage as the first floor of the house. To top it all off, a horse was galloping around in a wide pen behind the house.

Sirius parked the car in the garage, grinning having caught the look on his friend's face. He settled next to the various other priceless cars and motorcycles. After killing the ignition, he turned and nodded towards the direction of his home. "Don't be intimidated by the size, please. We just like...nice things. It's all mostly Sev's. Or came from his money. Whatever, just don't feel like we're one of those...better-than-those-who-are-lower couples. We're not..." He gave off a vibe of being a little uneasy, now.

"I'll try not to." Remus gave a sour look and slammed his door closed after him. "Just...lead the way to my room. I'm quite tired."

With a nod, the other man walked through the door that led from the garage to the house. After dropping his keys on the counter, he looked around. As they were driving, the sky had darkened. Now that they were standing in a kitchen, the two men started to feel the fact that they had missed dinner. "I'll show you to your room in a minute. I'm just going to grab something to eat. Want anything?" Sirius asked, pulling a container out of the fridge.

Remus shook his head, getting a peek of sunset rolls in the container. That actually looked pretty good. He had never had high-end sushi before, but that's sure what this looked like. To stop his glands from salivating, he had to turn away and bite his tongue.

Shrugging, Sirius popped a roll in his mouth and walked out of the large kitchen. "All of the bedrooms are on the second floor. Most are a bit of a mess because I guess I'm a bit of a slob. But I know the right one." He munched on his sushi with an excited moan, immediately turning red as he noticed he did it out loud. "Sorry. Severus is an amazing cook."

They walked up the stairs, Remus silent and feeling quite out of place here. He was in the home of a couple he really couldn't personally endorse.

A gay couple.

A gay couple that included his former best friend.

A gay couple that included his former best friend who he had hated earlier this day for killing two of his other good mates.

A gay couple that included his former best friend who he had hated earlier this day for killing two of his other good mates and was now settled down with someone they had used to hate back at boarding school.

After over analyzing what was going on here, Remus realized they were standing outside of a solid oak door. "Oh, thanks." He reached for the doorknob and glimpsed just a few feet down the hallway a tall, lanky man appearing from another room, wearing nothing but a towel. He blinked horrifically at seeing Severus in such a casual and unclothed setting. Just now, it seemed that the other man had noticed Remus' presence as well. He ducked back into said bedroom and nearly shouted Sirius' name.

"I'll be back in a moment. Make yourself at home." Sirius smiled nervously, running to his partner and closing the door with a snap behind him.

From where he was standing, Remus could hear the two talking heatedly. He sighed, turning the knob and entering where he would be living for the time being. Inside the room were a nice queen bed, dresser, writing desk and vanity. All of the furniture was a dark mahogany color that nicely matched the chocolate walls. To set it all off, a sliding glass door opened onto a nice balcony, overlooking the foot of the mountains they sat at.

"This is amazing..."

"I'm glad you think so." Startled, Remus spun to face the doorway. He smiled at Sirius and shook his head in disbelief.

Sirius set what was left of the sushi on the dresser. "Here, I saw you drooling over them downstairs. I have to go calm Sev down. He's not too happy..."

Sighing, Remus looked over at the food, and then back to the man. "It's my fault, huh? I suppose I should have guessed that." He picked up one of the rolls, sticking it in his mouth cautiously. An explosion occurred on his tongue as he chewed. He nodded, swallowing after ensuring that he liked the taste. "That is good..."

"I told you, S–"

"Yeah, I know. Severus is an amazing cook." Remus spat out the words with a touch of anger, hating the aftertaste of jealousy. Wait, not jealousy; that didn't make sense. It was something else that he just couldn't put his finger on. As he sat on the edge of a much more comfortable bed than the motel's, he looked up at Sirius and tried to peg him. It was so strange how he didn't even know this man anymore. They used to be so close. And now...he couldn't even figure out... "Why him?"

It looked as if Sirius had been expecting this question for ages. A weight lifted off of his shoulders as he settled right next to his friend. Surprisingly, he had a small, content smirk in his eyes as he began to explain. "After the accident...well, obviously I had to go through numerous trials as well as a sentence. Throughout it, no one was there. Peter came to tell me off and cry once. That was before, he...you know. But, you never visited during investigation or while I was in Azkaban prison. Nobody did during those thirteen years, actually. A lot of people blamed me and thought I got what was coming to me.

"But there was one person who surprised me. He came to actually see me out of the blue when I was...two years in. That was Severus. At first I was stunned and a little angry. I don't know why the latter, but I was. And... Well, we talked and he told me so many things that I couldn't even believe it all. Did you know he was in love with Lily? He was heartbroken by what I had done, but you know what? He didn't get...upset with me. He knew that the accident was just that. And because of that, we just...clicked. Sev started to visit me every two weeks. That's as much as he was allowed.

"After a while, something changed. I realized my gratitude for him was actually love. A very weird thing for me to find out about myself, but it's true. He helped me through so much and once I got paroled, he took me in to his house here. He gave me money to start my shop." Sirius shrugged as if that said all about it and laughed gently to himself. "Anyway, that's how it happened. Now we're married and going to adopt yours and Nymphadora's child. Great, no?" A touch of the boy he used to be was slipping back into his features as he lounged back on the bed with his elbows. He was suddenly cocky over his "amazing" relationship, just as he had been back at Hogwarts with all of the girls he ended up with.

Despite himself, though, Remus just couldn't feel happy for him. He snorted and shook his head, lying down upon the pillows. "That's crazy, Sirius."

Sirius stood and shrugged, heading straight for the door. "I know, but that's how it is. You asked, I answered. Sleep well, Remus." With a soft smile, he called to someone down the hall and disappeared through the door.

Even though he was restless from that story, Remus turned out the light and curled up under the covers. Weirdly enough, he slipped right into sleep, nearly forgetting where he was. But even in the dream world, he couldn't stop thinking about Sirius. The man he had hated just a short twelve hours ago was now someone he didn't want to be apart from.

I hate you Sirius Black... Or I wish I could.

A/N: Reviews fuel my muse! Good or bad, I just want to know what you think. Thanks!
- 1
- 2
- 3
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Car Crash Lovers & Angry Sunsets