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The Best Kept Secrets	By : danniperson Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 13518 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I did not create the Harry Potter stories or universe and I do not make any money from this

Chapter List
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THE BEST KEPT SECRETS

Chapter Two: Come By It Honestly

Ginny and Lily would be visiting Percy's wife, Audrey, their daughters Lucy and Molly for the day. Harry and Albus were also due to be gone a good bit of it as well, doing the remaining shopping they needed for James's upcoming birthday party. That left the sixteen year old to his own devices. He hadn't lied to his parents when he said Teddy would be visiting. Only they didn't need to know what James and Teddy would be doing.

James tossed his head from side to side, hoping to get his shaggy, unruly hair out of his eyes as Teddy crossed the room to stand in the middle where James had a perfect view of him. The metamorphmagus grinned as he reached down to pull up his shirt. His thinner form looked muscular when revealed, though that was only because of the tricks Teddy was so clever at pulling, always making himself into an Adonis when he stripped. James laughed as Teddy tossed the shirt aside, upper body now twice as thick as the one he had been cuddled against just minutes ago. He was tan, bulky, and even a few inches taller. The curly teal hair he enjoyed playing with had become slick and blond, cobalt eyes now baby blue. James said nothing of his preference for the other look, only grinning and folding his arms over his chest, letting Teddy play his game. The older wizard grinned then unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down, kicking them off, letting scarily muscled thighs come into view.

Teddy cleared his throat then asked in a deep voice "Like what you see?" As he spoke, he placed his hands on his hips, grinned broadly, letting his pecs move and dance.

He cracked up laughing. "Fuck, Ted. That's great. But you know how I prefer my men."

"With a pussy?" Teddy suggested with a sly smile.

James scoffed. "You should know better by now," he said, rolling over onto his hands and knees, crawling across the bed to sit at the edge.

"Hmm. Like this?" Teddy guessed, morphing his body again. The muscles were toned down drastically, though were still there. His golden tan lightened several shades, hair lengthened slightly, curling up, and became the shocking teal that was James's favorite color of the moment. Baby blues darkened into the cobalt that the younger man found mesmerizing then his body shortened only a few inches until it was what James liked to refer to as the perfect kissing height. His pants didn't seem so tight on him now, though James could still tell he was halfway erect from their earlier fooling around.

"Much better," James purred as Teddy turned around, backing up to give him access to his firm buttocks. The brunette grinned, reaching out to give his boyfriend's backside a squeeze. Teddy chuckled, letting the boy grasp his hips then pull him back more. Considering James was at school most of the year then when he was home, there were normally too many adults around to do much so the pair liked making the most of days like these. The younger wizard certainly had plenty in mind as he snaked his arms around Teddy's waist, palming the growing bulge between his legs while pressing careful open mouthed kisses to his lower back, then up his spine. The laugh caught in Teddy's throat then melted into a long moan. James grinned, using his free hand the best he could to unbutton, unzip, and shove down his trousers so that his own arousal was only covered by his boxers, pressing forward to rub his hardness against the back of the metamorphmagus's leg.

"I'm ready," James muttered against Teddy's back while slipping his hand beneath the waistband of his pants, almost groaning along with his lover as he finally wrapped his fingers around the hot length.

"R-ready?" Teddy asked shakily, letting himself be pulled down onto the bed. James shifted around to accommodate his lover then began pulling down his lover's pants. When the material was gone, he ran his hand up lightly haired thighs, fondling heavy balls then caressing the smooth flesh of the erection laying against the other's flat stomach.

"Ready for more," James promised, grinning as he crawled around to straddle Teddy's legs, resting his arms on either side of his hips, pressing his face down close to his lover's hardness, black eyes lifting up to meet lust filled eyes steadily changing from cobalt to a deep, dark purple. Slowly, he ran his tongue all up the underside of his cock, sucking the head into his mouth for a few moments when he reached it then swirling it all around it before releasing. "Want you to fuck me. Kay?"

"Ooh," Teddy moaned. "Got it. Yeah. You…you sure?"

"Positive," James promised.

They had been together for less than a year and barely had the chance to do much of anything. It had been only a year ago when James confided in Teddy about sexuality. It was shortly after his sixteenth birthday that he confessed his feelings for the boy he had known his whole life. Then it was two weeks before school that he worked up the courage to kiss him and it took another week for Teddy to lose all pretense of control and kissed him back. They managed to fool around a little bit before James had to leave but not enough for the teenager. They wrote letters all year. The first few months were shaky as Teddy was still in a relationship with Victoire Weasley but the connection the two had discovered was not easily broken. Any doubts Teddy had been having were easily disputed by James during the Christmas holidays when the pair spent as much time as possible snogging the daylights out of each other. When Teddy had dinner with the Potters, he and James would sneak up to his bedroom under the pretense of two best friends wanting to catch up, which wasn't too far from the truth. Now and then, James would sneak over to the flat Teddy shared with Victoire whenever she was hanging out with her friends or her family. Once she nearly walked in on them in the middle of their heavy petting but they, at least, still had their trousers on and managed to make Victoire believe they were wrestling. They had done it a lot when they were younger, after all.

Going back to school after that had been hellish. He had missed Teddy like crazy, more than he ever had. They had only been home for the summer holidays a week but James had wanted to see Teddy immediately. The week had gone by too slowly for him but it had been enough time to assure him of what he wanted. He wanted to be with Teddy in that way. Wanted to completely belong to the man he loved. More than that, he was a teenage boy and horny as hell! Abstaining from sex when he had so many offers from his classmates at Hogwarts had been hard but he had been determined to wait for Teddy. Not that he didn't mess around with his many offers. If Teddy was still shagging Victoire, he couldn't blame James for just snogging Abby Longbottom or letting her sister Pippa go down on him. They were mostly girls anyway but for one bloke, Tripp Wood, he gave a hand job to in the showers after Quidditch practice one afternoon. But going all the way…well, he wanted that with Teddy and now that he had the man here with him, James wasn't letting him go until he got what he wanted. What he needed. Teddy couldn't deny him this.

James would make sure he couldn't even think to reject him. Wrapping his hand around his lover's cock, he took it in his mouth, eagerly sucking it in as far as he could. It had been months since he had last done this and, even then, he hadn't had the proper practice to deep throat. When the head of Teddy's cock hit, his gag reflex kicked in, causing him to cough and gasp, pulling off for a second. Teddy frowned in concern, face twisting up in concentration. Alarmed by the realization of what he wanted to do, James slapped his hip. "Don't," he warned as Teddy tried to make his dick smaller. "I can take it."

"Are you…?"

He never got to finish his question. James had already taken him back into his mouth. For a few minutes, he was careful not to take it in too far, stroking with his hand what he couldn't swallow. Loud moans broke free from Teddy's throat. The twenty three year old reaching down to grasp the black hair of his lover, stroking the head that moved so enthusiastically. After a while, James was ready to try again, bracing himself before slowly pressing down more, breathing evenly through his nose, struggling against the urge to pull away or cough. Tears stung his eyes as he moved down more, the feeling was very uncomfortable and on the verge of painful. He worked his throat muscles as best he could, trying to relax around the length, but, in the end, he couldn't fully do it. Pulling away, he focused on catching his breath while pumping Teddy's cock then went back to sucking on it.

"Jame…baby, I'm close," Teddy gasped after a while.

In his focus on performing a great blowjob, James had forgotten about his wish to fuck until now. He quickly removed his mouth then crawled further up Teddy's body to reach over to his bedside drawer. "I have lube in here somewhere," he muttered, pushing aside the various Quidditch magazines and candy boxes that hid his toys.

"You do?" Teddy teased breathlessly, poking the younger wizard's sides. James shivered in response, shoving his dildo aside, having to stretch a bit more to grab onto the phial of lubricant he had purchased when in Diagon Alley with Fred a couple of days ago.

Grinning successfully, James could only bask in the thrill and promise of sex for a few seconds before his bedroom door burst open. "Hey, James! We need to…What the fuck?"

"Oh shite," Teddy hissed, grabbing the boy who was on top of him and shifting around frantic to pull the sheets, or at least a pillow, over his exposed cock.

"Bloody hell!" James cried in panic, hopping around the bed to grab at his clothes, tossing the lube to the mattress. Heat rose to his face as his pulse pounded furiously. His mind was racing far too fast for him to actually understand anything that was running through it. "What are you doing home?"

"What are you doing? With…Teddy?"

"Al…I can explain. I just," Teddy said quickly.

"Explain what?" Albus exclaimed. "What about Vicky?"

"Where's Dad?" James demanded, yanking on his trousers, realizing when he pulled them halfway up that they were backwards. "Bugger!"

"Snape's," Albus spat bitterly. "We finished early and he wanted to see Snape. I asked him to drop me off here because I wanted to talk to you."

"We can talk later," James snapped.

"Jame, I don't think…" Teddy began as calmly as he could.

"Damn right, you don't think. You can't be thinking if you're…But he's…Were you…?" Albus asked, looking as though his brain was starting to malfunction. His arms motioned wildly in no particular fashion, shaking his head, mouth moving at times when no sound came out.

"Al, just…Please listen. Just…don't tell anyone. We just…It's not…" Teddy was trying to explain.

"Get out, Ted," Albus said hoarsely, looking on the verge of a panic attack. "You need to leave."

"Al, stop it!" James exclaimed. "He doesn't have to go."

"You think Dad will still want him here if he knew this?" Albus snapped. To James's horror, there were tears in his younger brother's eyes.

"You can't tell Dad!" James said quickly. "Just…hear us out, okay? We just…calm down, right? And you'll listen?"

"Listen to what? I didn't even know you were gay!" Albus said. "And…What about Vic? Our cousin? Did you even think about her? You could be putting her through the same shite as Mum…"

James was confused. "What? Mum? The bloody hell are you talking about, Al?"

After dropping Albus off at the house, Harry eagerly drove to Snape's. Only by the time he got there, he wasn't feeling so excited, more like dreading facing the man. These were the same feelings that assaulted him every time he came to see the man alone. As always, there was that happiness, a powerful desire to see the man he had loved for half of his life now. Then there was the misery, the urge to run far away, fleeing the pain before it could hit. Visiting Snape made Harry feel masochistic. They never had, and never could be, together in any real way. It had been almost a decade since they had last touched. Every time he saw the older wizard, he questioned how he could survive another day without him. Every day of his life, he felt the absence, the denial of something he needed so badly.

Harry sighed heavily as he turned off his car then leaned back in his seat. He remembered just as if it was yesterday how it all happened. After the final battle, he and his friends had returned to the Shrieking Shack to retrieve the man's body only for Hermione to realize he still had a pulse. In a panic, they fought to save the potions master's life, summoning anti-venom from the castle then allowing Hermione to figure out which one was appropriate for Snape's wound. They tried to bring him to the castle but Snape roused before then and commanded them not to. Let him play dead, he had pleaded. So Harry did the only thing he could. He owed this man his life. For weeks, Snape remained hidden in Grimmauld Place with only Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Ginny knowing he had survived. When they managed to cure Snape on their own, they tried to reason with him, to assure him that the world knew he was innocent.

But Snape didn't want that. Hadn't he been through enough without being badgered by everyone? How were they supposed to know, anyway, that his return from the dead wouldn't turn public view against him? They were happy to buy his heroic tale when it was a tragedy that had ended in his death. He still bore the Dark Mark, still had many sins to pay for, and he was certain that the people would make him pay. Even if they didn't, there wasn't a life he wanted in that world anymore. Peace was all Snape wanted, something he felt he could only find in a world where no one knew him. Under the name of Alexander Prince, he lived among Muggles with a part time job studying and advancing Muggle medicine while running an owl order Potions business from his home. Harry had pulled many strings to set Snape up with a relatively normal, easy lifestyle. The Ministry of Magic left alone the private bloke that Harry Potter had such a fondness for. Snape was still wary of performing too much magic around his home unless necessary, sure to cut off any forms of magical transportation all around the area as a precaution.

The man was still cruel but Harry had felt as though he owed him. He visited now and then to be sure Snape was holding up well on his own. To his surprise, Snape never really discouraged his visits. In true Snape fashion, he was a royal prat, which Harry gritted his teeth and dealt with for a few months. It was normal. They were all suffering after the war. Eventually, though, Harry finally snapped. They fought and he left. In the mean time, he attended too many meetings with a magical psychiatrist who had diagnosed him with post traumatic stress disorder. He and Ginny broke up then got back together five times. Life, post war, was not as great as Harry had hoped. But what could anyone expect in the recovery period?

It was only when he was kicked out of Auror training and told to attend some anger management classes before reapplying that really made the difference. It had been almost a year since he had seen Snape by this point. To this day, Harry wasn't sure what possessed him to leave the training facilities and head straight to Snape's house. All he knew was that he had been so furious as he stormed out of the training room and the next he was staring into the scowling face of Severus Snape.

"What on earth are you doing here? Not coming to arrest me, are you?" Snape asked dryly.

"I need a drink," Harry muttered.

"Go to a bar."

"Let me in, you git."

For some reason, Snape did. They drank a lot. Never said a word other than the greetings outside of the house. It was a very awkward silence but Harry's mind was buzzing too much to care. All he could do was think of how much his life was falling apart. This wasn't how it was supposed to be once Voldemort was gone. He was supposed to be happy, right? Didn't he deserve to be happy? At some point, he passed out. When he woke up, he was on the couch, tangled in a very comfortable blanket that smelled of musk, left in an empty house with nothing but a phial of what he eventually discovered was a hangover potion on the coffee table. Snape was at work, Harry eventually decided, and quickly left before the man could come home.

Things had been simpler back then, Harry mused. Those days, before he had fallen irrevocably in love with the stoic man. The time when he could bear to be near his intimidating ex-professor without feeling as though his heart was shattering into a million pieces. Those were the years spent suffering the worst of nightmares, trying to piece his life together while finding himself incapable of fully moving on from the horrors of that war. He had still been so angry with himself and with the world, so bitter still from all of the loss he had suffered in his young life. Did he miss the instability? No. The alcoholism had provided new pain, a new obstacle in life, one he was unwilling to conquer. The press hounded him like a dog, spinning tales of self destruction that were always more glamorous than real life, as well as being infinitely more dramatic and exaggerated. Ginny stood by his side but was never afraid to stand up to him when he was being hellish. She was his rock and he needed her. He loved her. So when he was twenty, they proposed and, within months, Molly Weasley had planned the whole thing. And all that time, through all he went through in life, he always visited with Snape once a month, then twice a month, and several times a week by the time the wedding rolled around.

It was like a trap, falling in love with Snape. Because, with how crazy life was, with everything else he had on his mind, it wasn't as though he spared many thoughts for his growing civility with the dead man.

He groaned as the memories flashed through his head, rubbing his hands over his face roughly so that his glasses were shoved all the way up into his hair. Palms pressed deeply into his closed eyes, causing spots of orange and red to appear in the blackness. He really should back out of the driveway and leave. He could spend the rest of the day with Teddy, James, and Albus while Ginny and Lily had their girl's day. Remembering all of this was the last thing he should be doing but thinking was all he could do now. Because Harry knew what Snape wanted. He had seen it coming for weeks. Now that Snape had requested his presence, Harry was sure he knew what it was. Some elaborate seduction or declaration of feelings that happened so rarely but were the highlights of their tragic relationship. The last time this had happened, four years ago, Harry had been able to turn him down. It had torn his very soul to shreds to do so but he had retained the strength needed to turn away, to remain faithful to the woman who had been so good to him and refusing to let himself fall into the trappings of a man who would never truly belong to him.

It would be tempting though. Harry knew that. It took every ounce of his strength to stay away. He was hardly perfect. That day during the Christmas holidays had proven that. Sure, he had stopped the encounter before he could drag the man into the nearest guest room. Sometimes his control broke long enough to enjoy secret kisses in the dead of night, clinging to the body he longed to worship in a manner far too intimate for a married man. Maybe he would let Snape kiss him. Hell, maybe he'd kiss Snape. But he shouldn't think like that. Shouldn't hope for that. All he could do was try his damnedest to survive this.

But it was so hard. Because all he could remember was the first time.

He had been twenty three at the time. The problems between Ginny and himself had become so bad that they had separated. The Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, and almost every 'news' source, aside from the Quibbler, had something to say about the dissolution of what they had believed to be the golden marriage. They brought up anger issues a lot, which was actually true. Problems with alcohol abuse, also true. Drug abuse, not true. Cheating on both ends, love children, domestic violence. There was even one wild story that the distraught Harry Potter had discovered that his beloved wife had secretly been the lover of a Death Eater thus had aided that side of the war while seemingly standing beside her family, defending all that was good and just in the world. They had been fighting too much and, while Grimmauld Place had some peace now that the two weren't screaming at each other constantly, the house was lonely with only Kreacher for company.

As usual, Harry found himself in Snape's company. After the years spent coming here, the silences between them were no longer so tense. With most people, there was always that need to fill the quietness, this pressure to perform, to be entertaining. That wasn't to say they never talked. Normally, when they did open their mouths, they argued but they had both been pleasantly surprised to learn that they could actually enjoy a civil conversation between them now and then. That night Harry just needed to think, to get away from the stifling atmosphere in Grimmauld Place, away from Kreacher's nosiness and his mumblings. Snape always kept very good liquor anyway.

Snape had been sitting in his usual chair while Harry had lain out on the floor in front of the fireplace. The older man found it strange but the carpet was soft and it was nice to stretch out this way. Green eyes stared at the ceiling, though he barely saw it at all, as he became lost in his own thoughts. Only when he finished his first glass of firewhiskey did he glance to Snape, prepared to sit up and pour another. He blinked in surprise to find that Snape was staring at him, a look of such intensity in his black eyes that his pulse began to race. Irritation set in, half expecting Snape to yell at him at any second for no reason at all, the younger wizard preparing to jump to his own defense.

It took a moment for Snape to realize he'd been caught. An ugly flush stained his sallow cheeks, black eyes darting away for a second before returning to Harry. The muscles in his face looked tense, guarded, but that heat remained in his gaze, causing his stomach to knot. Swallowing hard, Harry slowly sat up and set his glass down on the floor. "What?"

The man merely raised a questioning brow.

"You've been staring at me," he huffed impatiently.

"I'm waiting for you to be done with your whining so I might have some peace," Snape replied smoothly.

"I'm not even doing anything!" Harry snapped.

"You're moping."

"I'm drinking. Bloody hell, I apologize if that's so annoying!"

"You're agonizing over some foolish bint who can't be bothered to attempt making a marriage work," Snape growled. "All she needed was to borrow some of your fame and fortune so now that she has that, what does she need you for?"

"What?" Harry asked. At first, he was too stunned to be properly angry, though he could feel his wrath bubbling beneath the surface. He laughed incredulously then began shaking his head. "It's not like that. Ginny's not…She's not! I told you, we've been fighting a lot. It's….not really anyone's fault. We just…we both have many issues to work out. But she's not…she's not like that."

"Why not?" the older wizard demanded coldly. "The poor little Weasley chit has never known anything but poverty. The only reason anyone paid her any notice to begin with is that she became close to the Boy Who Lived. Before you befriended her moronic brother, she was nothing. Now? Now she's the wife of the world's hero, Chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, with probably more money than she knows what to do with, her face plastered all over various pieces of filth such as Witch Weekly. All of her wildest dreams have come true. Now, as any young gold digger would want, she is off to find other avenues to expand her fame and wealth. She's used you for all you're worth."

"What the bloody hell has gotten into you?" Harry demanded. "Shite! Ginny's been nothing but good to your ungrateful arse! Now you want to run around saying…She's not…How could you think that?"

"How could you not?" Snape demanded furiously, pushing himself from his chair. At that moment, Harry scrambled to his feet, knocking over his glass in the process. Was the man really going to fight him over his wife? Where had this all come from, anyway? "Will you really run back to her the moment she decides she wants you again?" he spat.

"Why wouldn't…I wouldn't run…but…she's my wife!" Harry exclaimed, the words coming out just as jumbled as his mind was.

"A foolish mistake on your part, I must say." The man was approaching him slowly now.

Harry's heart picked up, jumping erratically in his chest as he backed away, stumbling and having to catch himself on the wall. What in the world was going on here? "You're not jealous, are you?" Harry snapped.

Fury flared in Snape's eyes. Harry thought he saw a hint of panic cross the man's face, but shoved it aside for the moment. "Why, you little…"

"Jealous. That's it. Because you're stuck here all alone. Really regretting the decision to play dead, aren't you?" Harry snapped. The older man snorted but Harry rambled on, struggling to make sense of the sudden blazing anger that had taken possession of his friend. "You may be a heartless bastard but you want someone. Do you miss my mum? Is that it? Does Ginny remind you of her? Or do you just want Ginny?"

"I am hardly attracted to your wife, Potter," Snape growled. "She has the body of a prepubescent boy. I'm amazed by the amount of male attention she gets."

"She does not!" Harry fumed. Ginny was beautiful! Her body was healthy and athletic, not at all the stick thin forms that were found fit these days or those curvaceous women Ron preferred with more breasts than anyone knew what to do with. It made perfect sense that people would want her! She was one of the prettiest girls Harry knew. "God, what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is 'wrong' with me," Snape said stiffly. "I am merely puzzled as to why you would wish to stay in a marriage that clearly isn't working."

"You seem awfully ready for me to divorce her," Harry laughed bitterly. "You do want her, don't you?"

"No, Potter. I do not want her."

"Then what…"

"Are you truly this dense, Potter? Must I spell it out for you?"

"Please!"

Harry waited, still pressed against the wall, watching Snape struggle with his decision. The older wizard seemed at a loss as to what to do. While he was well known for his coldness, his superior means of appearing unaffected as well as perfectly in control, he was also well known for having quite the temper and losing that enviable restraint of his when pushed too much. Only Harry couldn't figure out what had caused his temper to show. Nothing had even happened, other than him questioning why Snape was looking at him. A perfectly reasonable request, if you asked him! Now Snape looked for all the world wishing as though he could run away from this situation or punch Harry in the face. Possibly both.

"It would not be wise," Snape finally said, clutching to what of his dignity remained after such a show.

"Don't play the coward now, Snape," Harry snapped.

That was one sure fire way to press Snape's buttons. Before Harry was even aware of what was happening, the man had swept forward, strong hands grasping the front of his jumper. "Don't you dare play this game, Potter. I'm no coward, as you well know by now, you irksome little fiend! I only question whether you know what you're asking for. You would surely regret desiring the knowledge once it is yours."

"I doubt there's much you can tell me that would bother me," Harry snorted. They had both seen, and done, a great deal of things in their lives. They had survived a war. While not all things Harry would be completely comfortable with, he felt he knew Snape well enough by now for nothing to really shock him or get to him the way the man apparently thought it would.

There were no clever remarks, no words spoken at all. He stood still, staring up into Snape's eyes, waiting for the truth to come out. For a long moment, the man took the time to search his gaze. Harry let him look, resisting the urge to fidget, holding back that anxiousness that made him want to scream at the man to say or do something already. A soft gasp escaped him as a cool hand came to slide around his neck. He half expected the man to start strangling him but he used only one hand to grasp the back of his neck, thumb pressing hard against the side as the man pulled him forward finally to press his thin lips against Harry's. Almost immediately, he jerked away but there was nowhere to go, really, with his back pressed to the wall and Snape pressed to his front. The older wizard was unwilling to let him go just yet, instead using his other hand to grasp his hair, forcing his mouth back against his, kissing him firmly.

Harry couldn't think of anything other than how wrong this was. Snape was kissing him! It had to be a joke. Snape was stronger than he was, physically, making it a struggle to get away. Never once did he stop to enjoy it or even think about it. All he knew was that he had to get away as soon as possible. Using all of his strength, he finally managed to shove Snape off him, then proceeded to punch him as hard as he could in the face before turning and running from the house. Part of him wanted to go back later on to yell at the man for what he had done but, by the time he got home, he was far too confused to do much of anything about it.

Snape never attempted to contact him in the weeks that followed. Harry also made no move to write or visit the man. The kiss was on his mind though, all of the time. His mind reeled with possibilities, dreams plaguing his sleep that disturbed him to no end the first several nights. It wasn't until two and a half weeks had passed, the day Ginny first uttered the word divorce, that Harry finally found the courage to see his friend. There was a great energy bundled up inside of him that he wasn't entirely sure what to do with as he stormed up to the front door, letting himself in without knocking. Part of him thought he might hit Snape when the man came into view, snarling at him as he entered the living room from the kitchen.

But Harry didn't hit him. The arms that reached out moved to grab Snape, to pull the man closer, grasping his stringy, greasy hair to pull him down into a deep kiss. The hours that followed needed no words, only the passion that was driving them as they kissed and touched their way to Snape's bedroom. While it was never actually confessed, Harry did later. through hours of discussing the topic with Hermione, figured that the reason Snape never stopped it, never dared say anything to Harry's abrupt entrance and interest in sex had everything to do with not wanting to miss out on things. Snape had ruined things with his first love, Lily. Had never got to experience with her the things he wanted to. It was the way of a man who had lost so much and, even though he well knew he would never fully have the object of his desires, was willing to make the most of what he was given. Perhaps that's why, even now, all of these years later, with no change, no hope for things every progressing between them, that Harry and Snape both willingly put themselves through this torment.

Even now, every inch of his body tingled in response to the memory. He bit his lips, swearing he could feel the ghost of those searing kisses against them. Skin burned at the thought of those skillful hands worshipping every inch of his body. Most importantly, at the vivid image of Snape finally pressing deep inside of his body, emerald eyes fluttered shut, head falling back against the seat, while his butt cheeks clenched, almost feeling that ache all over again, a pain that never mattered much in comparison to the rewarding sensation of being so full. He moaned quietly at the sight behind his eyelids, of sweating, writhing bodies and a constant stream of groans and gasps. It was embarrassing that he felt his pants grow tighter as he became steadily aroused, eyes flickering open, willing the thoughts to go away in a panic when he fully realized what was happening and where.

He couldn't stay. He couldn't do this. With a shaky hand, he reached out to turn his car back on then glancing up to find that the curtains were pulled open and Snape was standing in one of the windows, staring at him. When their eyes met, Snape raised an eyebrow that caused Harry to sight heavily then reach out to turn the car back off. Fuck. He frowned deeply when Snape disappeared from the window only for the door to open seconds later. Harry remained sitting in his car for a few minutes, just staring at the house. Already he knew what he was more than likely going to end up doing, though he didn't quite have his mind made up, nor did he really have the energy to go about doing anything.

This was always easier on their weekly visits with the family. Even just going with Ginny while the kids were at school gave it a purpose, made him feel like he wasn't doing something wrong. God, there was nothing more he wanted right now than to run into that house and drag Snape to his bedroom then ride him into oblivion. All he could think right now was how badly he wanted the older man buried deeply inside of him. How was he supposed to walk in there and resist everything Snape had to offer? His hand inched back to the keys in the ignition but as his fingers wrapped around them he paused for a long time before finally pulling them out, resigning himself to his fate. It took every ounce of his will to move from his car, carrying legs that felt too heavy to the door.

"No need to be afraid, Potter. I don't bite," Snape said smoothly from his position in his usual armchair. Harry sighed heavily and closed the door. "Not unless you're begging me for it."

A shiver rolled down his spine, though he forced himself to roll his eyes and attempt to act naturally. "I'm sure people request it so much," he muttered sarcastically. The whole I don't bite, unless you want me to line was old now. It almost surprised him that Snape was willing to throw it about.

Snape grinned slyly. "More than you would care to know."

That surprised Harry. "What?" he asked dumbly, heat rising to his face.

His friend looked at him as though he was being intentionally stupid. "Don't tell me you were under the assumption that I play celibate when you're not spreading your legs for me?"

Actually, that was exactly what Harry thought. While Snape was hardly one to run off proclaiming his emotions for the world's notice, but he had expressed his feelings for Harry quite clearly over the years for him to have a very good idea of how much the man loved him. So, it surprised him to learn that Snape actually had other lovers. It was too weird, as well as unpleasant, to think about. He didn't really imagine Snape to be so interested in sex, period, that it had surprised him that the man had been so horny whenever they were together. The shock alone outweighed everything else as he gaped at the man.

"What? When? Since…but I…just…what about…Who?" Harry demanded.

"That is hardly any of your concern, Mr. Potter," Snape said with some amusement. "Some men, some women over the years. Lately, I have maintained an arrangement with a co-worker of mine, Mr. Egan Duff. He is around my age."

"Egan Duff? Sounds…" Harry immediately began, prepared to go on about how gay and girly the name sounded. Looking at how smug Snape looked, he cut himself off then looked away from the man. "I just don't…just…why?"

There was an irrational need to know everything about this Egan Duff character welling up inside of him. How old was he exactly? What did he look like? Was he smart? Did Snape have feelings for this man? His jealousy had never been as wild or volatile as Snape's but he could feel it bubbling up inside of him, making him ashamed.

"Don't look so hurt, Potter," Snape said in amusement. "You've been shagging that cow for twenty years. You hardly have the right to complain of my sex life."

"Don't call her that," Harry growled. "That's my wife."

"Then, perhaps, you should have remained in her bed and kept your heart in her capable hands," Snape replied.

"Is that why I'm here then, Snape?" Harry spat.

"Snape? Are we back to that?" he asked sly smirk. "No longer feigning any level of intimacy between us?"

Harry glared. "Severus. If you're here to try to win me over…"

"I will spare you the humiliation of actually having to finish that statement," Snape said dryly, raising his hands to halt Harry's words. "You truly are as arrogant as your father was." Harry opened his mouth instantly to interrupt, to snap at him for bringing his father into the discussion as he liked to do when he wanted to make Harry upset. Snape just kept going, though, raising his voice slightly as though knowing of his intentions and wanting to stop them before they even started. "This is not about you. Rather our sons."

That gave pause to any venomous comments Harry had been creating in his mind. His anger began to dissipate as he stared at the man. Rarely did Snape ever refer to James and Albus as their sons, instead as 'your sons' or 'the boys' or any number of things. Even when it was just them. Maybe he thought it would help them not to slip up, letting the truth out if they always referred to the children that way. Maybe it made him feel better, like he wasn't really their father, by calling them that. It always warmed Harry's heart, though, the few times he acknowledged that he was the biological father of his boys.

"James and Albus? What about them?"

"Albus knows," Snape said quietly.

"Knows what?" If Snape wanted to talk about the boys, something big must have happened. Hardly able to wait for Snape to get to the point, he wanted to snap at him when he motioned for Harry to sit. Huffing at the pointed look the man gave him, Harry quickly complied then shot him an impatient look. "Knows what?"

"He is aware that I'm his father," Snape said.

"He what?" Harry snapped, immediately jumping to his feet. By the look Snape gave him, Harry just stood there a moment before slowly sitting back down. "You told him? Why?"

"I did not tell him," Snape scoffed. "What sense does it make to tell him but not his brother?"

"Then how does he know?" Harry demanded.

"I do not know how, only that he does."

"How do you know?"

"Because I am more observant than you," Snape sniffed. "That is probably how our son is aware of the situation. While Jim may have taken after you…"

"Does it really physically hurt you to call him James?" Harry muttered. For the longest time, Snape had refused to call James anything other than 'the boy'. They had been fighting the time James had been born, which was why Harry decided against Evan James, the name they had agreed upon, and instead named him James Sirius just to infuriate the man. At least with Evan James, it had only been the middle name and Harry had given the excuse of it being his middle name, as well. With the git Snape had been around that time, more so than usual, Harry found it fitting punishment to name his firstborn son after two of the men he hated most. It was sad that the name did suit Harry pretty well, as they were after two of the most important men in his life. Once they made up, Harry did feel a bit bad about the whole thing, trying to offer up the various nicknames he and Ginny had come up with for Snape to use for him. They were all far too close to James for Snape's liking or too ridiculous. Only when James was four and a half did Snape decide that Jim was an appropriate name to call the child. No one, not even Snape himself, liked the name very much, though he did like to say 'At is at least better than the horrid moniker you cursed him with'.

"…in all of your athleticism and cluelessness, Albus has inherited my intellect," Snape went on. "When he remained the other day while the rest of you went out to your vehicle, it became clear to me."

"What happened?" he asked irritably. If Albus knew then it was not good at all. Honestly, they had all hoped the boys would never know the truth. Loathe as he was to lie to them this way, it was best for everyone involved. For him to know…Well, it wasn't going to get any better from here.

"He questioned how a parent could possibly act as though they have no children," Snape said. "I had a feeling then but it wasn't until we spoke further that it became clear to me that he knew. We never said so much aloud but it would be too difficult for you to understand how anyone could learn things without it being expressly given to them."

Harry's stomach sank. Snape's insults didn't even bother him as they normally would. He would like to think that it could be something else, that Snape was wrong, but he didn't like to lie to himself if he could help it. If Snape was so sure about this, then it had to be true. "Fuck," Harry groaned, dropping his face into his hands.

"That would be for you and your wife to discuss, Mr. Potter," Snape said. "I would suggest, of course, informing the two before they broach the subject themselves. Without letting them on to the fact that you are aware of their intelligence of the matter. I only found it imperative that I enlighten you to this news, lest I fall prey to the undoubtedly dreadful consequences should you be unable to mend this…unexpected interference with an otherwise flawless plan."

"Can you please not use big words when my head is already a mess?" Harry grumbled, rubbing his temples. "So you thought it would be bad for you…if…bad things happen now that…someone else knows? And you want me to fix it before it can hurt you?"

"Not necessarily," Snape replied with a malicious grin. "I recognized the look on your face and was aiming to complicate matters for your fragile mind."

"Huh?"

Snape sighed. "Really, what have I ever found so charming in you? What I mean to say is that I was being mean by trying to confuse you and that the real reason I have told you this today is so that I may fulfill my one good deed of the year."

"Oh," Harry said. "Merlin. You're such a bastard sometimes."

"Yes, I know," Snape replied. "Do try to figure this out before they come breaking down my door. As you and Ginevra made it your duty to raise the boys in a lie, it's your responsibility to explain it all to them, not mine. Am I clear?"

"Crystal," Harry sighed.

It hadn't taken much to get Teddy to leave, though James had been furious when Albus made him go. He didn't care how mad his brother got because he was already so furious with him! It was still hard enough for him to come to terms with the lie he had been living without having this thrust upon him as well. He sympathized with Ginny a lot. She was his mother, regardless of whether or not they shared blood. That woman raised and loved him in a way that Snape never had and never would. Right now, Albus was angry with Harry and Snape for hurting her the way they had with their little affair. And here James was, being just like Snape! The other man in an otherwise happy, perfect relationship. Victoire was their cousin! And he was just going to betray her trust? For what?

"I can't believe you just did that! You don't even know anything about this, Al! You don't have the right to just go around being all mad! This isn't about you!" James was yelling as Teddy Flooed back to the flat he shared with Victoire.

"Snape's our dad," Albus said.

"What?" James shouted. "What the bloody hell are you on about?"

"Snape is our father. You know, biologically and all. Our parents have been lying to us our whole lives," Albus said. At the moment, James didn't really deserve to know the truth at all but, maybe, once Albus got to explaining, it would knock some sense into his brother.

"You're barmy, mate," James muttered, shaking his head. "Mum would never cheat on dad! Least of all with Snape!"

"It wasn't her. She isn't really our mum," Albus explained.

"You really have gone mad, haven't you?"

"Listen! She faked her pregnancy! Dad was the one who was pregnant the whole time! Dad and Snape have been buggering for years!" Albus said.

"That makes even less sense than Mum shagging him!"

"No, it doesn't. I saw them, okay? I saw Dad and Snape snogging during Christmas hols!"

"You did not!"

"I did so! Look, Dad has a Pensieve, doesn't he? I'll show you!"

"You're delusional. Besides, wouldn't someone have known that Dad was pregnant?" James demanded.

"I'm sure someone did," Albus said. "Just not everyone. They had to hide it, didn't they? Would be a useless lie to us if everyone else knew about it. Anyway, Snape's pretending to be dead, isn't he?"

"Right," James muttered. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to this."

"James, I can prove it!" Albus hissed.

Black eyes narrowed suspiciously at him. Albus had a feeling the first place he would take James would be the nearest mirror. "Fine. Prove it then."

Author's Note: Here y'all go! I was so excited to write this and was giddy writing half of it lol! As I usually hate my own work, I kinda worry about what the response will be to something I actually like xD hahaha.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, Dani for being the best beta ever, and my buddy Nickole for looking over chapters one and two and giving me the confidence to keep writing them!

Chapter title comes from the song "Secrets" by One Republic.
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The Best Kept Secrets