Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Darkshines	By : anewname Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Slash - Male/Male Views: 4601 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or these characters. I do not make any money off of this writing.

Chapter List
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“I’ve found my love affair,”

BAIN MATTOX, IN DREAMS

i

Severus woke with a small start, momentarily surprised to find Harry lying near him on the floor of Grimmauld Place. The night before . . .. He sighed quietly and shook his head, unwilling to convince himself he’d done nothing wrong, that he’d been a victim of a loss of hibition and morals due to drug use, but this was a most apocryphal claim. He’d never be able to sell such a story to Remus, anyway. If pot hadn’t led to him stepping out in over a decade, it was unlikely to start any trouble suddenly.

Generally speaking, Severus kept the marijuana use to his home only and with no one other than Remus. The plant had no effect on him that would justify what he’d done with Potter other than provoking a willingness to open up. And who would have thought it possible for Severus Snape to open up to Harry Potter? Although, when he thought about it, hadn’t it been Harry who had opened up?

In the months following the war, Severus remained inside his dreary home despite a bombardment of owls and reporters standing outside. All told, it took three months to convince them he might never leave the house again. Like Salinger and Garbo before him, he was finally left alone. And alone he stayed, perfecting potions in his lab, eschewing anything like responsibility save his monthly passion project . . . Remus Lupin’s wolfsbane. He would send it to Remus via owl. The first month, Remus stopped by to thank him. He wouldn’t answer the door, but Remus left him a note. The following month, Remus sent him a long letter of appreciation. The third month, he sent a note asking Severus to please talk to him.

Severus quickly sent a note back agreeing.

Remus arrived much later than he’d suggested he would in his letter. He’d gone to the Three Broomsticks and gotten himself very well pissed before he arrived. Severus didn’t mind. He’d spent both the afternoon and evening smoking pot and could pass no judgment over the consumption of alcohol. He admitted as much to Remus in the midst of his fourth apology for his drunken and tardiness.

“Do you have any more?” Lupin asked.

“Come along,” Severus said, escorting Remus to his small den. “Would you like another drink?” he asked as Remus took a seat.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” he moaned in response. “I’ll certainly remember your offer if I do.”

Back turned, Severus smiled slightly. He realized suddenly he’d been missing that.

“Here,” he said, coming over to Remus with silver cigarette case. Severus removed a one and handed the case to Remus. “It’s easiest to just roll a lot of them at once.”

Remus nodded. "Why not a spell?"

"Ruins the fun."

“Much better for your body than Dreamless Sleep,” he answered, picking a book of matches up off the table beside him. “Thank you,” he said, lighting the joint.

“You’re welcome,” Severus replied, putting down the case and lighting up. “Do you smoke?” Severus asked tightly, breath held.

“I did for a bit after the war ended. I stopped when I found out I’d be fighting to keep Teddy.”

Severus looked over at Remus, sitting down in the chair across from him. “I didn’t know that was going on.”

Remus shrugged. “You were dealing with your own things. We’ve all been preoccupied.”

Severus felt terrible for Remus’s explaining away of his behavior. He suspected himself a right bastard for wallowing in his misery, though part of him was realistic enough to wonder if he could’ve been of any real help to anyone. Even in his best shape, Severus was the last person anyone would choose to reveal their miseries to. “You used the past tense.”

“Pardon?”

“I was dealing with my problems. Has the custody hearing ended?”

Remus sighed. “That was today,” he answered, looking up at Severus. He nodded at Remus, suddenly feeling completely worthless. “They took him from me about two weeks after the war ended.. They terminated my widower's pension. They said I had no need of it since Teddy was being placed in Ministry care, but those benefits were the way I planned to keep our home. Until I got on my feet, of course. I was also able to feed both of us with my pension. So I lost my home a few weeks ago and I’m literally living off food from bins.” Remus pulled out his wand and re-lit the joint. Severus watched him smoke. “This is good stuff.”

Severus nodded. “Sprout.”

Remus nodded back. “So they reviewed my case today and decided that, being a werewolf, he should be with someone else.” Severus didn’t know how to respond. Remus kept it simple for him. “It was combination of factors. Catch-22’s, really. I ultimately lost him because I possess neither a home nor a source of income.”

“This is horrible.”

“No. No, it really isn’t,” Remus replied. Confused, Severus smoked and watched Remus talk. “It’s difficult to get a job when you have nowhere to clean yourself up. And even if I did get a job, how long could I keep it? I can’t tell the truth about the lycanthropy. Something would go wrong and I’d be let go. I wouldn’t be able to afford wolfsbane. As they are aware that the outside world discriminates against werewolves, they believe it only fair that they should discriminate against werewolves in the interest of safety.”

“Where will Teddy go?”

Remus sighed and rested his head in his palms. “He will remain in the orphanage he’s in now until he is twelve, at which time he will be sent to live in a Boy’s Home. He can still attend Hogwarts. But he can’t stay with me. He can’t see me. Not under any circumstances.”

Severus sat quietly, watching Remus massage his temple for a moment before he went back to smoking. “Why not place him with Andromeda?”

“The Ministry isn’t exactly thrilled by the idea of giving children to members of the Black family.” Severus couldn’t help but understand their position on the matter, however deeply he disagreed with their decision. Certainly someone couldn’t be held responsible for the actions of family members. But government was an animal exempt from the necessity of practical thought. “They also used the excuse that if she can be trusted with my child, then she can’t be trusted to not allow me contact. Which I reckon is true.”

Having no idea how to respond, they sat for awhile longer, smoking, staring at anything to avoid eye contact. Severus was suspecting Remus’s reason for requesting a meeting was to extend his appreciation. He was expecting a short, sober visit during which sentiments that were hollow (or outright lies on Severus’s part) would be exchanged, some form of bodily contact would occur that would leave Severus both afraid and wanting and they’d go their separate ways, monthly notes of appreciation perhaps continuing. No way could he have expected Remus’s child was lost to the Ministry. No way would he have expected a drunken Remus Lupin on his doorstep desperate to unload his profound emotional crisis.

“I will continue to brew the wolfsbane, Lupin. That will help you to obtain a job.”

“It won’t help me to keep one,” Remus responded. “I’ll still be prone to absence.”

Severus nodded his understanding, but he couldn’t accept it; nor could he allow Remus to continue living the way he was. “Why haven’t you asked Potter if you can stay at Grimmauld?”

“I don’t wish to impose upon him. He’s starting a life . . ..”

“And he loves you. And he would open his home to you.”

Remus sighed. “Harry is too young to feel sorry for me. There are no guarantees of employment and I can’t make myself some semi-permanent roommate to a newly wed couple.”

Semi-permanent. He hadn’t really considered how long Remus might need a place to live, making him correct: Potter was a terrible idea. “Would you live here?” Severus asked before really considering his previous thought.

Remus looked up at Severus, confused. “Are you . . . offering?”

“You’re correct in that you will need a place to live in order to find a job and if you can’t find a job, you won’t have a place to live.” Severus frowned. “In good conscience, I couldn’t leave you to suffer.”

Remus was unsure of how to continue. “Severus, that’s . . . extremely generous.” He chuckled. “And rather out of character.”

Severus nodded. “I’m very sorry that people will think that.”

“Oh, Severus, I’m sorry. That isn’t what I meant.”

“Perhaps not. Others certainly will. Not that worry over what others think ever got me anywhere.”    Worrying about reality, on the other hand, seemed to escalate him to the benefit of one of the highest war pensions. And it didn’t seem fair to him that Remus was living in the street having lost Tonks while he collected on that, particularly considering that Remus’s sacrifices were no less heroic than his own. And now they were coming back to hurt him.

“Why are you doing this?” Remus asked, head tilted curiously.

Severus wasn’t sure he hadn’t already answered that. “We can’t expect other people to look out for us. So we have to look out for each other.”

Remus grinned widely in response, shaking his head slightly, on the verge of tears. “You can’t know what this means to me,” he said.

Severus wondered whether he even knew what it meant to himself.

Severus got up from the floor and gathered his clothes. It was just before dawn. Remus would be transforming and falling asleep any moment. He waited another ten minutes, watching Harry sleep until sunlight began creeping across the carpet. He Flooed home.

ii

It was a relief to Severus that he managed to get enough sleep to shower thoroughly and think over the events the night previous. Unfortunately, he couldn't make heads or tails of his behavior. Anyone could make the mistake of infidelity, but with Potter?   An idiotic move, to be sure. How was he to hide this from Remus? They had meals with Potter several times a month, often just the three of them. Severus closed his eyes, clenched his jaw, and buried his face in his hands.

Remus’s ridiculous cuckoo clock rang in nine. Severus imagined him downstairs, asleep on the small bed in the corner. He thought about going down to look in on him, but - as he did every other month - thought it best not to. After Remus’s first transformation at Spinner’s End, Severus entered the room before Remus woke and cleared it of all mess, assuming Remus would be pleased to wake to cleanliness. The deed was severely misguided. He hadn’t considered his actions an invasion of privacy, but they were . . . a deep, deep violation that Severus never could have realized. He understood it immediately, however.

“Did you come in that room and clean it while I was sleeping?” Remus asked him, panicked.

“I did,” Severus answered.

Remus bit his lip. “Under no circumstances,” he finally said. “That’s what I told you and you agreed.”

“You’d already transformed back. There was no risk to me.”

“I’m not angry about your risk, dammit! You cleaned up my feces!”

Severus sighed and cleared his throat. “With a wave of my wand, yes, I did. I’m an adult and a Master of the Dark Arts, Remus. I knew what I’d see on the other side of the door.”

“And you couldn’t wait to see it, could you?”

“Remus!”

“Shut the bloody hell up! I am not an invalid. I’ll clean up my own shit. You will never again invade my privacy.”

Severus’s heart pounded with embarrassment, but he maintained his deadpan. There was no need to become angry. He nodded. “I was thoughtless.”

“No more!” Remus shouted at him as he stormed from the house, covered in scrapes and bruises.

He would definitely leave Remus alone.

A small knock came at the front door. Severus walked over slowly. “Severus,” he heard whispered loudly outside the door. “Severus, please let me in.” Potter. No way was Potter getting into his house, circumstances being what they were. “I can feel you on the other side of the door,” Harry said quietly. “Fine. You can’t or won’t let me in. Just . . . this has to be discussed. Severus.” He stood still, his head resting against the doorframe. “Severus, please.” He made no response. “Shit. Alright. That’s O.K.,” Harry said, reassuring himself. “Think about coming to see me. I’m at Grimmauld. I’ll be there every minute I’m not working. I’ll be there waiting for you.”

iii

“You’re an interesting person, Severus,” Remus said as he laid on the couch. He took a hit of a joint and handed it over to Severus, who was seated on the floor, back to the couch.

Severus took it from him. “I could say the same of you. And few others, if I’m honest.” He felt Remus sit up behind him.

“Who else is interesting to you?” he asked. Severus turned around and looked up at him. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, his tie discarded. He still wore his vest.

Severus took a deep hit of the joint and closed his eyes for a second. Opening them on Remus’s face, he reached up and took one of Remus’s hands in his own. He shook his head. “No one.” He exhaled gradually as he pulled Remus’s hand to his mouth and kissed each finger, one by one, eyes fixed on Remus, whose mouth was hanging open ever so slightly.

“Severus?” Remus asked cautiously.

“I’m lonely, Remus.” Severus licked his lips and shrugged. “And you have to know by now. Right?” He squeezed Remus’s hand.

Remus raised his eyebrows in quick understanding. “Oh. You wouldn’t open your home to . . .. You love me?”

Severus looked away. “I wasn’t just jealous of your teaching DADA. I was in love with you. It was nothing new. I’d been feeling that way since school.”

“Since school?” Severus nodded. “I really regret that you said nothing.”

“My heart was broken by your idly standing by. What was intact was pretty well killed at the Shrieking Shack.” Severus shook his head. “I no longer think about the incident. But I do think about you. I think about you more than makes any sense, honestly.”

Remus smiled wickedly. “I’ve thought about you, too.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Have you?” Remus nodded. Severus tightened his grip again and pulled Remus toward him. “Tell me what you thought about,” he whispered, their lips not an inch apart.

Remus closed his eyes. “Your hot breath against my cheeks, my ears . . ..” Severus exhaled gently, mouth open against Remus’s skin. “Your long fingers twisted in my hair . . ..” He pushed his fingers into Remus’s hair and massaged his scalp firmly. “I thought of your mouth against mine. Your taste.”

Severus brushed his mouth gently against Remus’s. “How do I taste?” he whispered.

Remus smiled. “Like tranquility.”

Severus couldn’t help but laugh.

“What? You aren’t the only one in love here,” Remus said.

Severus’s chuckling subsided. “You’re in love with me?” Remus nodded. “And when did this happen?”

“The year I taught at Hogwarts. I know Dumbledore instructed you to but the fact that you would brew wolfsbane for me, especially considering our history, was enough to positively enchant me.” Remus frowned. “I was going to chat you up.”

“Chat me up?” Severus laughed. “In the midst of war?”

“No better time, as I see it. Pleasant distractions were useful at times.”

“Potentially quite dangerous, though.” Severus could only imagine what things would’ve been like if he and Remus had become involved. He cared much less about that, however, than he did the man in front of him. “Why the hell are we just sitting here?” Severus whispered, standing and pulling Remus up with him.

“Where are we going?” Remus asked. His question was answered almost as soon as he asked it. He was thrust up against a wall in the bedroom within seconds. “Severus . . .,” Remus moaned.

Severus opened his mouth beside Remus’s ear, his breathing shallow.   “Slughorn partnered us in potions for awhile. Remember?” he whispered breathlessly.

Remus shuddered visibly. “You brushed my hand that day. And we couldn’t speak for a week.” Remus chuckled.

“Our eyes kept meeting in Defense.”

“And we would stare at each other.”

“That was never awkward for me.”

“Nor for me,” Remus answered, ending the dialogue by taking Severus’s tongue in his mouth. Severus’s cock jumped as Remus’s tongue teased the roof of his mouth. Remus broke away, unbuttoned Severus’s shirt and slipped it off his shoulders, eyes fallings to an unimaginable number of scars. Remus licked his lips and pulled Severus over to the bed. He pushed him down and kissed him again, running his fingers through Severus’s hair. Severus moaned his pleasure, eager to ensure Remus felt his efforts were appreciated. They were very well appreciated, indeed.

Remus kissed Severus’s neck down to his first scar, a long lash he obtained from a demented Russian wizard the Dark Lord had given him to for an evening. Remus used his tongue to trace the scar all the way to his navel, where two more scars waited. Remus followed those (both obtained from the Dark Lord himself) with his fingers as his lips ghosted over several other scars. He released a pleased sigh as Remus ran his fingers down his arm, stopping everything to examine the somewhat faded Dark Mark. The tip of his finger ran softly over it, his eyes surveying carefully until he looked up at Severus.

“I hadn’t imagined it would still be visible.”

Severus frowned. “The Dark Lord wanted it to be difficult to leave his service. This mark - which cannot be removed - is meant to brand one so that society will shun them.”

Remus smiled and licked the mark lightly, looking up at Severus ravenously. “It turns me on,” Remus whispered as he banished his and Severus’s remaining clothing. “I’d like to prove that to you,” he said, lips gently gliding across Severus’s stomach to his thighs.

Severus grabbed Remus’s hair with one hand and tightly squeezed his shoulder with the other. “So far, your evidence is compelling.”

“There’s much more,” Remus promised just before taking Severus’s cock in his mouth.

“Merlin, Remus!” Severus shouted, surprised by how aggressively and directly Remus approached cocksucking.

Remus hummed deeply as he sucked hard, releasing Severus’s cock from his mouth noisily. “Comparison appreciated,” he growled, grasping Severus’s shaft firmly and sucking his tight balls into his mouth. Severus’s teeth ground as he clung to the bedsheets, trying desperately to avoid shouting the string of embarrassing, euphoria-induced smut that was rushing to the front of his consciousness in lieu of actual thought.

Remus sat back up and firmly massaged Severus’s balls as he monitored the expressions on his face. “I think we’re going to enjoy being flatmates.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Severus warned Remus as his hips rolled and thrust against him. “I have yet to feel your dick inside of me.”

Remus’s grin turned evil as he whispered a spell and slid his fingers between Severus’s legs and past his pucker one at a time. Severus groaned with every new entry, twist, and scissor. His patience was short and Severus pushed Remus over and mounted him, forcing Remus inside his slightly resistant asshole. It’d been so long . . .. He moaned so loudly he was embarrassed, but he couldn’t stop. Remus was massively well hung. Long and thick, a double-threat Severus hadn’t met with since Lucius - - and he often fantasized about him.

The hairs on Severus’s arms stood on end as Remus’s girth stretched him. His asshole clenched, extracting the first groan of unbridled longing from Remus. “Oh, Severus. . . .”

“You like that, Remus?” he asked, taking his dick in his hand and squeezing much, much too hard.

“Mmm hm,” Remus agreed as his hand slid down Severus’s thigh to the base of his cock, where he slipped a few fingers inside of Severus.

“Ohhhh, wow,” Severus moaned, grip tightening again as he took fully to wanking, riding Remus’s cock vigorously. He came down completely on each thrust, Remus buried as deeply inside of Severus as possible. The pleasure of Remus’s tip pounding against his prostate was becoming too much to handle. “I’m going to come,” Severus announced.

Remus pulled Severus down, Severus’s back to Remus’s chest, and took Severus’s dick in hand, wanking furiously as he brutally fucked Severus’s hole. “Fuck, yes!” Severus couldn’t help but scream as cum spurted onto his stomach and Remus's hand.

It seemed Remus had already come.

They lay together panting for a few moments before Remus nudged Severus. “My arm’s falling asleep,” he explained. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s O.K.,” Severus replied. “I was going to say . . .. You really couldn’t move in a moment too soon.”
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Darkshines