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Hands and Face Behind the Voice	By : CalecusX Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 8178 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: Harry Potter & its characters all belong to J.K. Rowling. I make no profit from it.

Chapter List
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Mcgonagall's Office - June 21, 1990

Stacks of parchments cluttered an aged oak desk that resided in the middle of the room. The Head of Gryffindor House plunged through piles of important documents the Headmaster had conveniently forgotten to finish. 'How considerate of Albus to only push it on me during the summer holidays' she thought wryly. When Minerva was finally finished with the paper works, the parchments were gathered to be filed at another time, and she moved towards the fireplace.

She was about to floo to Poppy's office until a tapping sound announced the arrival of an owl outside her window. The window opened with a flick of her wand, and the owl flew in to drop a small package on the desk and quickly left. As she picked up the parcel, the transfiguration professor hoped it to be the new buttons she ordered.

Minerva opened the small package and instantly fumed the colour of her school house when she recognised the item. What laid innocently in her hand was a cat collar - a red cat collar with the name 'Mcgonagall' engraved on the metal tag. She disgustedly threw the thing on the floor and transfigured a quill into a dog to tear the collar to shreds.

She stood there watching, unsatisfied as the collar became a heap of ribbons. Once a year without fail, she would receive a package containing in one form or the other, a variety of cat toys and the occasional cat treats. The first time this occurred, a box of rubber mice was delivered that squeaked out 'Lick me, pussy cat'. She remembered viciously burning them one by one as the little animals screamed a helpless 'Noo!'.

Minerva believed them to be a prank from a former student since no child would actually spend their allowances buying such things. Albus delightedly thought that she had a secret admirer, but she knew better. The person who kept sending these gifts was mocking her. If Minerva ever discovered the identity of the sender, she was going to skin them alive and hang them in the Forbidden Forest for the acromantulas to feast on.

The deputy Headmistress tried to calm herself since she still had to meet up with Poppy. She vanished the mess and reversed the transfiguration on the quill before grabbing the floo powder. Stepping out of the fireplace, Minerva appeared upon a very amused Madam Pomfrey.

"Well, you seem to be in a good mood," Minerva told her friend as she sat down for tea.

"And you seem to be in a bad one," said Poppy. "Did Albus dump more paperwork on you?"

"Something like that," she was still bristling inside and wanted the topic changed. "How is Mr. Potter doing today?"

The devastation Minerva felt when she heard of the accident was the same she felt the day of his parents' death. James and Lily were her favourite students, and for this to happen to their son was beyond tragic. Part of her blamed herself for not being more vocal against his placement with the Dursleys, but at the time, Minerva didn't know if she could have done anything more for the child.

"He is doing quite well considering what he's been through," Poppy informed. "Sadly, I can't say the same for his prospects of seeing again. The healers at Mungos have looked at his file and announced the damage could not be healed in any way they know. They suggest looking for other alternatives."

"They're basically saying that they give up," Minerva responded disapprovingly, "but I'm glad the healers at least have the confidentiality oath to not reveal Potter's information to anyone else."

"Why do you say that?"

A sigh escaped from Minerva, "The Ministry is finally aware about the situation concerning Mr. Potter, and Albus has been busy handling them since then."

"Oh my," Pomfrey replied with concern, "I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Yes," she agreed, "at the moment, they are keeping it hushed up, but it's only a matter of time until it's leaked to the Daily Prophet."

"Nothing stays private for long in the wizarding world," said Poppy tiredly. "Ah, I almost forgot. You just missed Severus a few minutes ago. He was talking with Mr. Potter for a while before he left."

"He was here?" Minerva knew that he came to deliver the potions two days ago, but she was surprised that he would be anywhere near Potter for more than was necessary.

"Yes, he's been coming back to the hospital wing since yesterday," Pomfrey said and smiled knowingly. "Severus explained that he was just inspecting if the potions were 'effective on the patient'."

Minerva shook her head in disbelief and snorted, "As if that man really doubts the competency of his potions."

The matron chuckled lightly. "Perhaps he was just worried about something else."

Minerva couldn't help but feel that she missed something from the conversation. She knew that Poppy enjoyed dangling information in front of her without really giving in. It was annoyingly similar to a certain headmaster.

"Is there anything you would like to add, Poppy?"

"Oh, yes," replied Pomfrey, "the weather has been lovely lately, don't you agree?"

The transfiguration professor mentally groaned. Yes, too similar to a certain headmaster.

o-O-o

Hospital Wing - June 25, 1990

"We spoke of the virtues from the four houses the other day, but I have yet to mention their weaknesses," Severus said from his seat by Potter's bed.

It was still difficult to look at the boy and not see James Potter. Though, with each new day he was able to see a glimpse of Potter's true self slowly budding open. There were times when Potter was shy and quiet, while on other occasions the boy could be quite forward and curious. Severus was intrigued by Potter's contradicting attitude. In truth, the brat was nothing like how he originally imagined him to be. Hopefully, the image of James Potter would become nothing more than a shadow as he familiarised himself with the boy.

"But what can be wrong with courage and loyalty, Sir?" asked Potter as he brushed his fringe to the side to reveal the lightning shaped scar.

"The qualities in itself are fine. However, there are those who uses bravery as an excuse to label their actions as righteous against others. Often, a person can commit selfish deeds as they believe themselves to be justified," Severus explained. "And loyalty to the wrong person can have ill consequences so you must use caution: place your trust in a person, you give that person a part of yourself."

Severus had learned that lesson the hard way. Through his life, he made many mistakes in decisions concerning the ones around him; most of them made in his Hogwarts years. Severus was adamant that Potter should know not to fall into the traps that most Hogwarts students ensnare themselves in: falling to the prejudice and stereotypes that comes with being sorted into a house.

"I think I understand," said Potter with a slow nod of the head. "Then what about Slytherin & Ravenclaw?"

"Well, with ambition it's easy to overlook people as nothing more than inconsequential to your goal," said Severus. "As for the pursuit of learning, it's hard not to look down on another person's opinion that you consider inaccurate. In such cases, superiority and arrogance can grow from both."

"So there is good and bad in all the houses," Potter stated, "but how can I stop myself from being like that?"

Pleased with the question, Severus answered, "Similar to that in life, a balance should be achieve and maintain. You must remember this: don't let knowledge isolate you from your peers, don't use courage to condemn those different than you, don't let your ambitions trample on a person's worth, and don't let those you trust ride on your hard work."

"Um, that's a lot to remember," Potter muttered to himself.

Severus smirked at the comment and thought, 'Just wait till your OWL and NEWT years, Potter.'

"Still, I think I might be in Hufflepuff," the boy suddenly said.

"Why do you believe that?" he questioned with both brows raised in surprise. Severus was certain that Gryffindor would have appealed to Potter.

"Well, I know I'm not that smart or cunning, and I really haven't been brave about anything, but I'm willing to work hard," replied Potter with his head lowered in embarrassment.

"You underestimate yourself and Hufflepuff, Potter," Severus told the boy, "if you truly believe that reason alone will put you into the Badger's house. Being sorted into a house is base on the quality that is prevalent and not on what you solely possess or lack. Indeed, you might just surprise yourself when you'll be sorted next year."

"Next year," the boy said with a note of excitement, before wearing a worried frown. "Professor, how will I attend next year when I'm... when I'm blind?" Potter asked hesitantly, clenching his fists tightly. It seemed that the subject has been bothering the boy for some time now. At that moment, Potter looked so alone in his uncertainty. A look he wanted to erase from the boy's expression.

"We are still discussing it, and ideas on personal tutoring and modifying the lessons were suggested," said Severus, trying to assuage the boy of his fears. "We will figure out a way to help you, and regardless of what happens, you will attend Hogwarts, Potter." No matter what, Severus would make sure of it.

His words appeared to relieve Potter as the boy unclenched his fists and quietly said, "Thank you, Professor Snape."

o-O-o

Little Whinging Primary School - December 7, 1988

The sound of low muttering along with crumpled papers and pencils scratching could be heard in the classroom. Rows of desks were filled with students writing away carelessly while the teacher walked about.

In the far corner of the room, a small boy dressed in ragged clothing sat silently as he finished writing. Harry placed his pencil down quietly and looked up to see everyone else was still working on their letters with a focus similar to his uncle when the man watched the telly. Harry decided to glance back down to re-read his paper.

Dear Santa,

I'm sorry if you are very busy but I just have one wish to ask. I tried to be good this year and did all my chores like Aunt Petunia told me to. I know that you can't bring back my parents so I will not ask you that. But what I want for Christmas is for someone to just love me. This is the only thing that I want and I promise to work really hard and be good. Dudley has his mum and dad his whole life and I have no one. They belong to him and I wish for someone to belong only to me. Please help me and I will never ask for anything again. Thank you.

- Harry Potter

He stared at it for a long moment, hoping that his wish would really come true this year. It was always the hardest time for him during the winter holidays when families would come together and celebrate. Harry usually looked from the sidelines as the other kids would smile and laugh with their parents while playing with the gifts they received. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have someone do those things with him or say a simple 'Happy Christmas, Harry'. More than anything, he just wanted someone to be there for him.

"Listen up everyone!" his teacher called out. "You have two more minutes to finish before the lesson ends. Turn in your letters to be mail out today and remember to write your name down."

At the announcement, all the students started to hand in their letters. He waited for everyone else to go first before getting up. As soon as he deposited his letter on the desk, the chime of the school bell rang. A herd of boys and girls immediately rushed out passed him, stampeding through the halls in chase of freedom. Harry ended up being the last one to leave the classroom while the teacher was busy tidying her desk.

His cousin was waiting as he walked out the door, and Dudley took this chance to stick his foot out. Before he knew it, Harry met with the ground in a loud thump, and his glasses skated across the floor. Poorly covered sniggers were ringing through his ears as he tried to find his bearing after the fall. He gazed up when a pair of over-sized trainers came into his blurry vision. Harry managed to identify his cousin's large form that was related in girth to a pig.

"Watch your step, Potter!" Dudley hollered gleefully and then waddled away with a group of laughing boys.

Harry sighed in defeat and picked up his glasses. Perhaps he should have asked for a new cousin.

o-O-o

Headmaster's Office - June 29, 1990

"I have called everyone here to discuss the issue concerning the guardianship of Harry Potter," said Albus Dumbledore as he let his eyes roam over the assembled professors gathered in the office.

Severus allowed his own eyes to glance at his colleagues. The remaining head of houses were also in attendance. Mcgonagall appeared to be distracted while Flitwick seemed curious, and Sprout looked worried. He observed that the other professors sitting around the table were the ones who taught most of the core and elective lessons. Even Kettleburn, the Care of Magical Creatures professor, was here. 'Well, most of his limbs are here,' Severus thought.

The only ones to be excluded from this meeting was Binns and Trelawney. He didn't know whether to be amused or relieved that the Headmaster had the foresight not to invite them. The memory of Trelawney divining his 'troubled past' from his tea cup one too many times leapt into his mind; he would settle for relieved.

"As you all know, Mr. Potter is left without a guardian. Thus, the Ministry has seen itself fit to assign a guardian for Mr. Potter," informed Albus. "The potential candidates are numerous, but I'm afraid not all of them have the child's best interest at heart. In the unlikely case that they can't find one, Mr. Potter will become a ward of the Ministry."

"Headmaster, if that is so, then why have you called us here?" asked Sinistra, the Astronomy professor.

"You see, as it is, we don't have any right to interfere in the matter-"

"But Albus, were you not the one to place him with his relatives?" the Runes professor, Babbling interrupted. Since Severus was sitting across from her, he was able to see the concentrated look she wore as if the answer to her question would solve everything. Oh, the gift of a simple mind.

"Ah, it is actually an obscure pureblood law. It declares that an orphan child must reside with his or her next closest, living kin," said Albus as he took his glasses off to wipe them. "At the time, I was the executor for the Potter's will. They only named one person as Mr. Potter's guardian, but since that person was incapacitated -" a snort was heard near Severus' left and a cough that sounded suspiciously like 'incarcerated' came from the end of the table.

"- the Dursleys were the only choice left for guardianship," Dumbledore finished, ignoring the noises from the staff.

"Is there anything else we can do then, Albus? Or can you at least influence the Ministry's decision?" questioned Flitwick.

"As I was saying, normally we wouldn't be able to interfere. However, I happen to stumble by chance upon an ancient rule concerning the welfare of orphaned students," Albus paused and smiled at everyone genially.

They were waiting for him to continue, but the Headmaster just kept on smiling and suddenly popped a lemon drop into his mouth. A few of the professors had a quizzical expression, wondering where that lemon drop came from. Severus didn't even want to contemplate it.

"The rule, Albus?" Mcgonagall reminded him curtly.

"Oh yes, it is very old, but it is stated in the Hogwarts Charter that a Hogwarts professor may become a guardian to any present or future students without kin," Dumbledore explained, "as long as the professor is able and the student willing."

"You mean to say that if Mr. Potter agrees, then any of us can become his guardian?" Sprout asked carefully.

"Always easier to take care of them if they're willing," grunted Kettleburn, and everyone had the notion that he wasn't just talking about children.

"To answer your question, Pomona," Albus said, "Mr. Potter's choice in guardian is dependent on whether the person is capable and if both party give their consent to such an arrangement."

Mcgonagall cleared her throat at that moment, and everyone focused their attention on her. "I would gladly take Potter," she confessed, "but with his current condition, he will need someone who will dedicate themselves to him solely, and I'm afraid at my age that I don't have the time nor the energy to look after him."

Everyone quieted down after that. Severus had remained silent so far, choosing to listen first before deciding anything. Could he do it? Could he be responsible for another life? Would he allow Potter to be alone without anyone to depend on? Just that thought was enough to firm his resolve, and he looked up at the Headmaster.

"I shall take him," Severus announced calmly.

Every head turned towards him in disbelief and confusion. He could hardly blame them for their reactions. The potions master has made it known of his dislike towards children and all things Potter in the past quite vocally. However, the staff still continued to regard him as if he just professed his undying love for nifflers and jelly slugs. Honestly, he was getting annoyed now.

"You will, Severus?" questioned Albus, who was the only one not surprised by his proclamation. Damn, does nothing pass by the old man unnoticed?

"I will," Severus stated firmly as he stared right into the Headmaster's eyes and held his gaze. Severus would not bulge on this; he would not fail Lily's son.

Albus seemed to sense the hidden strength behind that statement because the Headmaster soon nodded his head and those damn twinkling eyes shone on full blast. It was a sight he would do his absolute best not to instigate again as long as he remained Hogwarts' Potions Professor.

o-O-o

Hospital Wing - June 30, 1990

Harry wasn't sure if it was possible to be tired of resting but he was. Being stuck in bed with nothing to do all day - he believed - was bad for one's health. Another thing that Harry didn't anticipate about being blind was that it could easily lead to boredom. It was a feeling he knew quite well living with the Dursleys. Hours of isolation in the cupboard had taught Harry how to entertain himself or else go mad a long time ago.

Currently, the thought of magic and the world of wizards were keeping him occupied. Even now, the idea of magic was too fantastical and unreal that he sometimes imagined this to be one huge illusion induced by the accident. If it was an illusion, Harry wouldn't mind it continuing for a while longer.

The sound of the door opening and closing soon drew his attention. Firm but light footsteps approached his bed, and Harry was familiar enough with those steps to perceive who it was.

"Professor Snape," he greeted the potions master with a small smile.

The professor's visits brought an appreciated distraction from the dull stillness, and their interactions were surprisingly enjoyable for Harry. In his experiences, most adults would treat him as inferior to that of their notice while his voice never reached their ears. He learned that conversations with grown ups were best to be left short and precise. Somehow though, talking with Professor Snape was different. The professor seemed to truly listen to what he had to say. But more than that, Harry felt that he actually mattered in the man's company.

"Mr. Potter," the professor acknowledged, "I'm impress that you're able to discern my identity from hearing alone."

He felt himself warmed at the complement and shifted a little on the bed. "I'm still getting use to it," Harry murmured quietly.

"Hmm, I believe over time your hearing will become sharper," said Professor Snape. A chair scraping against the floor told Harry the potions master has seated himself. "I assume that Madam Pomfrey has informed you of your eventual release from her care?"

He nodded his head, "Yeah, she said that by tomorrow I can leave the hospital wing." The news elated his spirits, knowing that he would no longer be confined to one place. Harry was more than ready to leave.

"Have you given thought to what will happen afterwards?" the professor asked.

Harry opened his mouth to respond but then closed it in realisation. Afterwards. After he left the hospital wing and... then what? He had been too busy thinking of the recent happenings that he completely neglected his future - a future without the Dursleys. He didn't have a place to stay much less go back to. No one to help him now that he was blind. He was alone. Panic seemed to settle in his heart at the thought.

"A guardian has been chosen for you, Mr. Potter," Professor Snape revealed when the silence stretched for too long, breaking him from his anxiety.

Confusion soon replaced the nervousness swelling in his chest as he whispered, "A guardian?" He must have heard wrong since who would want him?

"Yes, a guardian, and the arrangement would only be official if you agree to it," the professor said intently. "You do have a choice in this, Potter."

"You mean, I can decide if I want the guardian or not?" he managed to question. This was a new and strange concept for him: the freedom in choosing a caretaker. This was something he had no choice in when it concerned the Dursleys. 'But that's the past now' he told himself stubbornly.

"Correct," the man responded evenly.

Harry concentrated on his breathing as it fought his grasp and asked, "Who is it?"

The potions master didn't answer him immediately but eventually said, "In the current predicament, I find myself unable to leave you. As it is, I would not be against the idea of associating more of my time with you in the future."

It took Harry a moment before he uttered out in shock, "Professor, it's you?" He really couldn't believe that the professor was his chosen guardian. Professor Snape barely knew him, and yet the man was willing to take him in.

"Yes," said Professor Snape. "If you will have me, I will do my best to provide for you in every way a child would need. Your well-being and education will be my responsibility: you will be my first priority, Potter."

His heart was rebelling against him, refusing to calm down at the professor's explanation. Harry dared not hope, but he still had to ask, "But why? Why would you want to?" Deep in his mind, there was a strong doubt that anyone would want him - that he would find anyone that actually cared.

Harry had a feeling that Professor Snape was staring at him, as if debating about something before the man spoke up, "I want to give you what you deserve, Potter... what I never had: a family."

"Family," Harry repeated softly. That word seemed to strike his whole frame and dig inside his chest like nothing else had. Any uncertainty and hesitation appeared to dissolve with that one simple word. This was what he always wanted - what he always wished for.

'He's not like the Dursleys...' he thought in disbelief and hope, 'he wants me'. There was only one thing he could do in that situation once his mind was cleared enough to make a decision.

Harry nodded his head in acceptance.

o-O-o

Godric's Hollow - February 3, 1981

A sharp crack sounded to signal the appearance of a cloaked person in the empty streets. It was quiet in the small village as residents took shelter in their homes from the cold wind. Severus glanced around to ensure the area was secured enough before taking out a piece of parchment. It read: The Potters reside in 17 Hollows Lane.

Slowly, the air rippled much like the water's surface when disturbed, before stilling to reveal a small cottage. It was a two story building with flowers surrounding the front. The windows were nicely curtained, and the white paint still looked fresh. All in all, the place appeared to be very quaint. He hated quaint.

Not wanting to stand there any longer, Severus briskly walked to the front door. As his hand was about to touch the door, it opened instantly to show a smiling Lily Evans. 'No, it's Lily Potter now,' he corrected himself reluctantly.

"Severus, you made it!" exclaimed Lily.

"It's not that hard to find a house under the Fedilius Charm," Severus wryly commented as he entered through the doorway.

Lily was the only one who knew - besides for Dumbledore - that he turned against Voldemort. He never meant for her find out, but she happened to floo into the old coot's office when he was relaying sensitive information in his death eater garbs. Let's just say that it was a very interesting reunion. Since then, they had been meeting each other once a month in safe locations. However, this was the first time he has visited the cottage.

"Well, I bet that little piece of paper helped," Lily said. "Anyway, would you like some tea? I made it just a minute ago."

"Tea would be ideal in this kind of weather, thank you," he replied.

She lead them into the sitting room and gestured for him to sit down. Severus unfastened his cloak, placing it over the sofa before reclining back in his seat.

"I told James to spend the day with his friends since he's been feeling cooped up lately," Lily explained as she summoned the set of tea.

"Such a shame, and here I was looking forward to seeing him again," he said sarcastically.

"I see you haven't change since the last time I saw you," she said with amusement before adopting a serious expression. "How is everything, Severus?"

He took the offered tea and drank, thinking on what to say. "So far, attacks have lessened and disappearances have stopped almost completely. And anyone we believed to be targeted have also been relocated to a safe house," he finished carefully.

Lily pierced him with a calm stare, absorbing what she heard. "There is something else you're not telling me," she lightly accused.

Severus sighed quietly and said, "It has been confirmed that there is a spy within the order, but we don't know who."

Her hands tightened around the cup. "So it's true then. I thought it was suspicious how the death eaters always seemed to know of our movements."

"Yes, and now that we know for sure, we can try to single out the spy, but the question still remains: who can we trust?"

They were silent, each reflecting on their interactions with other people and whether there were any odd behaviours. It was hard enough looking out for known enemies, but hidden enemies were even more dangerous.

A loud cry suddenly punctured the somber atmosphere, startling the both of them. 'Ah, Potter's spawn,' Severus thought as he turned his head in the direction of the wail.

"Oh, excuse me, Severus," Lily muttered quickly and rushed towards the stairs.

He stood up, using this chance to look around the room. The walls were painted in a beige color that complemented the maroon furnitures. Toys were scattered on the large rug and colourful picture frames littered the mantle place. Severus' feet then took him to the moving picture that caught his eye.

He picked the photograph up to see an image of an infant laughing and playing with the water in the bath. Severus assumed that this was Harry Potter and that the other pair of arms in the picture belonged to the older Potter. At the sound of foot steps entering the room, he turned around to see Lily carrying her son.

"Sorry about that, Severus. Little Harry just woke up from his nap," she said sheepishly as she walked towards him.

"That is all right," he told her and placed the photograph back on the mantle.

"Oh, that one was taken when we gave Harry his first bath," Lily said when she saw what he was looking at. "He splashed the water so much that James ended up completely soaked."

Severus smirked at the mental image. "I'm not surprised that Potter has trouble with such a simple task as bathing an infant."

"Yes, without me my husband is just hopeless," she mocked sorrowfully. Lily then tilted her head and looked at him thoughtfully. For some reason, that look did not bode well for him. "Would you like to hold him, Severus?" Lily asked.

He didn't really want to touch the infant, but Lily had that earnest expression on her face that was always difficult for him to deny. Could he ever say 'no' to her?

"I've never held a baby before..." he tried to deter her of the idea.

"It's all right, I'll show you: here," Lily said.

Of course, when Lily made up her mind it was impossible to change it. She carefully placed the boy in his arms while correcting the position on how to hold the infant. Severus hoped he wasn't going to drop the kid; he wasn't that eager to go to Azkaban.

Lily took a few steps back when she determined that he could handle her son on his own. He felt awkward holding the boy and remained motionless as the kid blinked up at him in curiosity. Then the boy did something he never thought possible: Potter junior gave him a wide, toothless smile and decided to cuddle deeper into his chest. The nerve of the boy! Didn't the brat know not to trust strangers?

He forced a steady calm on himself, refusing to be bothered over an infant's actions. Severus shifted his arms a little to adjust to the weight of the child, and took this time to really look at the boy. Like all babies, the child was all roundness and softness. Even at this age, he could tell that Potter's traits would be dominant. But his eyes... his eyes were all Lily's. Severus stared into familiar emerald and fought the desire to smile.

He risked a glance at Lily to see her watching closely. She seemed hesitant, and Severus was confuse by the sudden change.

"Severus..." she trailed off, biting her bottom lip nervously.

He wondered what was on her mind. "Yes?" he encouraged her to continue.

She exhaled deeply and said, "If anything were to happen to me or James, will you watch over Harry?"

Well, Severus didn't expect that. "Lily, nothing will hap-"

"But if something did happen, will you watch over him?" Lily asked as her shoulders tensed with stress and worry. "Promise to protect Harry?"

He looked into her pleading eyes and sighed. Severus had made up his mind to protect her a long time ago and protecting her son now would not change his resolve but strengthen it. "I promise," he vowed, and Potter junior chose that exact moment to giggle in his arms. He should really learn how to say 'no' more often.

Her shoulders relaxed, and Lily graced him with a grateful smile, "Thank you, Severus."

TBC
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Hands and Face Behind the Voice