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The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
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Chapter Two – Invasion

The small Christmas get together in the Slytherin Common room was winding down and Draco was starting to miss the Manor. He had to admit his Christmas at the Manor the year before was anything but cheerful, as they were all under the thumb of the Dark Lord. The Manor was gloomy during those days and the dark traces had yet to be lifted. His parents had fled the country while things calmed down, but left Draco to reattempt his seventh year. He sighed and rubbed his temples before looking over at the Head Boy. “Hey Nott, I’m kind of feeling the need for a quiet space. Do you think I could hang out with you in the Head Common Room for a bit?”

Nott’s dark eyes looked from left to right, “I don’t know. Hermione was in there when I left. She seemed just as melancholy as you do.”

Draco huffed, “Do not compare me with her, please.”

Nott looked around the room, “Okay, I guess you could come with me, but if she’s in there you might have to leave. I don’t think she’s in a mood to put up with your crap.”

Draco got up and followed Nott out of the room, “Then why does she tolerate you?”

Nott rolled his eyes, “Maybe it’s because I never really spoke to her or insulted her to her face? I mean, you made her your enemy and you still act that way after they save your life twice, three times if you count their testimony during your hearing.”

Draco grumbled, “I know I owe her and Potter. I don’t owe the Weasel because he punched me in the bloody face and refused to testify on my behalf. I guess the rivalry between our families runs much deeper than any of the nasty things I’ve said to Potter or Granger.”

They reached the portrait with a knight on it. Theo spoke the password and it swung open. They both looked around the gold and silver colored common room, and quickly noticed Hermione’s absence. Nott shrugged, “She must’ve gone to bed early. She’s been having a hard time this year because they have yet to locate her parents. Her muggle parents, she used a memory charm on them, so they would forget her and move to Australia. She misses them greatly but she knew they’d be safer away from the Wizarding War.” He walked across the room and opened his bedroom door, “How about you make yourself comfortable while I quickly grab something.”

“Yeah, whatever mate,” Draco mumbled as he approached the sofa. He noticed some wrapping paper on the coffee table and then he saw the book. It was sitting all by itself on the gold and silver embroidered sofa. He picked up the book up and read the title. He had never heard of Pride and Prejudice, but quickly figured it must be a muggle book. He flipped the book over and didn’t find any information regarding what it was about. “Hmm,” he murmured as he opened the book to the first page, he skimmed over the page before laughing. He yelled, “Hey, Nott listen to this. It sounds like what we have to face in the Pure-blood community.” Nott walked back into the room as he read the first paragraph of the book.

Draco found himself in the Drawing Room of a quaint country estate. He tried to figure out how he ended up there when he was but a few moments before in the Head Common Room at Hogwarts. He knew he couldn’t have apparated but was there a possibility that the book was a portkey? No, because if it were, he surely would still have it in his hands. So, where could he be? He looked around the room and listened to the conversations going on. He recognized Astoria Greengrass and Theo Nott. Potter’s girlfriend was also there along with a long haired ginger, who also had to be a Weasley. He looked down and noticed there was a book open in his lap. He observed it was written in Latin, which he luckily was fluent in. As a Malfoy it was important for him to learn as many living and dead languages as possible. He recognized the work as one of the great works of the Wizard Homer.

“So Darcy, how did you find the country assembly?” The she-Weasel looked pointedly at Draco.

First, he didn’t know what the heck she was talking about and second, he couldn’t figure out why she was speaking to him in such a familiar manner. Also, why was she calling him Darcy? Didn’t she know his name was Draco? They’d been going to school for seven years after all. She should know his name after all that time, but wouldn’t she be addressing him by his last name anyway, so she wouldn’t have mixed up Darcy with Draco. Well time to school his face and give a generic response, “You know how I am in large gatherings of strangers. I prefer to be well acquainted with a person before I carry on with intimate conversation, but you understand that don’t you Nott.”

Everyone in the room including Nott looked at him with concern. The redhead who upon closer inspection had three scars across his face smiled, “Darcy, we understand your tendency to hide behind your well-bred manners, however you should probably attempt to be more agreeable with new acquaintances.”

Draco couldn’t help but furrow his brow. Who was this man and why was he speaking to him as if he were a close friend. “Well, when one has to deal with the attention seeking women, who are only interested in becoming your wife. I think you understand why I prefer to remain disagreeable when speaking to anyone I’m not intimately acquainted with. Why must you always press me into situations I’m uncomfortable in?” Looking around, Draco quickly determined that everyone, including himself, was dressed in Regency Era costumes. He figured it was best to play the part he was dressed for though he really wished he knew why they were calling him Darcy.

“Yes, well some of us are fortunate enough to be intimately aquatinted with you. Darcy, how is your darling sister Georgiana doing?” The female Weasley inquired.

“Well, I have been meaning to write her. As soon as I receive her correspondence, I’ll let you know,” Draco wanted to scream. This person he was portraying had a sister. How the hell was he supposed to go along with that? He decided to ignore the conversation and read the book in his lap instead. He was well practiced in the art of ignoring others when he no longer wished to participate in inane conversations.

The exuberant redhead turned toward the other, “Brother dear, do you think we should invite Miss Bennet over? She and her younger sister were quite charming when we visited her at Netherfield the other day. I think we should have her come and visit, however perhaps we should attend the party at Sir William Lucas’s. I have to admit what country folk lack in refinement they make up for in hospitality.”

The other redhead nodded, “Yes Caroline, I think we shall attend that party. I do believe the Bennets will be in attendance. I do look forward to dancing with Miss Bennet once more.” A smile broke across his already handsome features, and Draco only wondered what he was doing there and how he could possibly get back to the real world.

Draco walked around the delightful home of the Lucas’s. He meandered and almost gasped when he recognized the familiar features of Hermione Granger. Could she have been transported here much like he had, or was she just another figment of his imagination? He’d spent enough time in the place to realize that he was staying at the home of Longbourn, which was being rented by his good friend Bingley. Who happened to be the attractive Weasley male he’d found accompanying him along with Theo Nott, who went by the name of Mr. Hurst, while Astoria played his wife and sister to Bingley. Caroline was their youngest sister, which was a bit strange as the She-weasel was older than the younger Greengrass sister. Draco concentrated on the conversation the Hermione look alike was having with his deceased cousin. He stopped himself from shaking his head, as it wouldn’t do in polite society.

He soon found himself stepping in on conversations she was having with a Colonel who resembled his dead friend Vincent Crabbe. He had to control the knot that formed in his stomach as he approached his deceased friend. He may have treated him like an underling for many years, and he was friends with him because his and Goyle’s fathers wanted them to stick with the Malfoy heir. However, he did manage to keep them out of trouble with the older Slytherin students who may have tried to pick on them. Waves of grief consumed him, as he listened to the conversation going on around him. Hermione, who apparently was one of the Bennet sisters by the name of Elizabeth, was suggesting Colonel Forester have a ball at Meryton. Soon, she and Miss Lucas left the conversation. It was a bit before Draco followed them. He approached, but didn’t have any intention of speaking for fear of making a blunder. Miss Lucas spoke to him regarding his listening in on the conversation which sparked Hermione to question.

“Did you not think, Mr. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teasing Colonel Forester to give us a ball at Meryton?”*

“I do say you were quite energetic with the subject, but one can expect that when discussing a subject that energizes a lady,”** Draco smirked not sure if he responded correctly, but if this Hermione look alike were anything like the rest of them, she would be far more interested in obtaining a husband through attending balls.

Hermione’s brow furrowed for a moment, “You are severe on us.”*

A smile lit up the regal Black features on his cousin’s face, “It will be her turn soon to be teased. I am going to open the instrument, Eliza, and you know what follows.”*

Hermione smiled, “You are a very strange creature by way of a friend! –always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody! If my vanity had taken a musical turn, you would’ve been invaluable; but as it is, I’d really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers.”**

Draco’s brow furrowed as he caught a modern contraction in her speech here and there. He had found that no one, within the odd place he’d found himself; spoke but proper Queen’s English without a common contraction. Miss Lucas continue to poke and prod Hermione until she conceded, “Very well, if it must be so, it must.” She gravely glanced at Draco, “There is a find old saying, which everyone here is of course familiar with: ‘Keep your breath to cool you porridge’; and I shall keep mine to swell my song.”*

Draco listened to the Hermione doppelganger sing several songs. He was quite surprised by her talent and the angel like quality to her voice. After several songs and encores, Loony Lovegood approached the Piano after her. Draco’s ears were soon grated upon by poorly executed chopsticks and a not so pleasing voice. Draco was too busy watching Hermione’s reaction and deep in thought to notice someone approaching him from his right side until the person spoke.

“What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr. Darcy! There is nothing like dancing after all. I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished society.”* The man was a bit portly and looked like a muggleborn wizard killed during the war.

“Ah yes, but it even the less polished society can participate in the act of dancing because even savages can dance,”** Draco curtly replied.

The man only smiled, “Your friend performs delightfully,”* he paused as Bingley joined the group; “and I doubt not that you are an adept in the science yourself, Mr. Darcy.”*

Draco had to hold back a scoff at the idea of him singing or playing the piano before the group of strangers before him. Very few of even his acquaintances at Hogwarts knew of his skill at the piano or the vocal lessons he received as a child. Of course they went along with the dance and language lessons. The Malfoy Heir must be educated in society, as well as intellectual pursuits, for one would never knew when he shall be judged before Ministers and Royalty. However, he soon realized the man was only speaking of participating in the dance, which he was not in a mood to participate in either. “You saw me dance at Meryton, I believe, sir.”*

“Yes, indeed, and received no inconsiderable pleasure from the sight. Do you often dance at St. James’s?”*

Draco stopped himself from furrowing his brow as he wasn’t familiar with the place mentioned. Better to be safe than sorry lead him to respond, “Never, sir.”*

“Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place?”*

“It is a compliment I never pay to any place if I can avoid it.”* Draco had a feeling that he wouldn’t be able to avoid it much longer because for some reason the man before him was grilling him. He could only wonder what his counterpart had done to offend the man so at the previous engagement.

“You have a house in town, I conclude?”*

Draco simply nodded with a formal bow. He was hoping the uncomfortable conversation would end soon. If he were attending a similar event in the Wizarding World, he would have the knowledge to respond. He felt like a fish out of water in the muggle era he found himself.

However, the man didn’t seem to take his subtle hints and continued to converse with him, “I had once had some thought of fixing in town myself—for I am fond of superior society; but I did not feel quite certain that the air of London would agree with Lady Lucas.”* The man paused probably hoping for a response but Draco was a bit too deep in thought to respond. So, they were somewhere in the muggle English Country during the early 1800s. Draco did notice that Hermione was approaching them and tried to fight back a blush when the portly man next to him called her over. “My dear Miss Eliza, why are you not dancing? Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure when so much beauty is before you.”*

The man took Hermione’s hand and placed it in his own. He was surprised by the act but wasn’t unwilling to receive it. Perhaps he could escape from the rest of the uncomfortable situation by dancing with a familiar face. However, she quickly withdrew and spoke with a bit of contempt laced in her voice. “Indeed, sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner.”*

Draco attempted to take her hand but she still refused. He couldn’t help but be reminded of the same strong headed and independent Granger he knew from his reality. However, the man next to him wouldn’t have any of it as he spoke once more, “You excel so much in the dance, Miss Eliza, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half-hour.”*

There was a mischievous sparkle in Hermione’s chocolate eyes that caused a shiver to run up Draco’s spine as she smiled, “Mr. Darcy is all politeness.”*

“He is, indeed; but, considering the inducement, my dear Miss Eliza, we cannot wonder at his complaisance-for who would object to such a partner?”*

Hermione raised an eyebrow at the colonel’s comment before turning away. Draco couldn’t help but want to dance with her more because she’d so valiantly rejected him. He was soon accosted by the She-Weasel, “I can guess the subject of your reverie.”*

The more time he spent with her the more he disliked her and thus he answered in a clipped tone, “I should imagine not.”*

“You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in the manner—in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet the noise—the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!”*

Draco clenched his teeth at the drivel she was spewing. How dare she think she could read him so well? Perhaps it was time to spurn her, as he could easily tell she had some sort of weird attraction to him and he wasn’t going to have anything with the look alike of Potter’s girlfriend. “I assure you, you are quite mistaken by your assessment. I was merely contemplating the influence and enjoyment a pair of fine eyes attached to the face of a lovely woman can bestow.”**

Her blue eyes fixed on him, “And who might this fine lady whose inspiring such reflections be?”**

Draco simply tilted his head of platinum locks, “Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”*

“Miss Elizabeth Bennet!”* she gasped and repeated the name under her breath, “I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite?—and pray, when am I to wish you joy?”*

Draco’s eyes widened at the suggestion of marriage. “I guess that question is to be expected as a lady’s imagination grows exponentially. It jumps from admiring to love, form love to marriage, in but a moment of time. I had a feeling you’d be wishing me joy.”**

“Nay, if you are serious about it, I shall consider the matter is absolutely settled. You will be having a charming mother-in-law, indeed; and, of course, she will always be at Pemberley with you.”*

Draco maintained his composure as he gained much knowledge from the redhead’s yammering of incomprehensible possibilities. However, he did take note that Pemberley must be his alter ego’s family home. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was a magnificent as Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire. At the same time he couldn’t figure out what made the girl think she was anything compared to the chocolate eyed beauty who wouldn’t ever give him the time of day. Her counterpart was much too alike with the original from his reality. His desire only continued to grow for her with every interaction they had. He could only wonder made the little redhead think she could compare with the fine eyes belonging to Hermione Granger, especially when the sparkled with mischief. She was quick witted, quite bright, and had a large caring heart. The only drawback in his reality was her blood status and in the current reality, her family and lack of a fortune.

A/N: I tried to have Draco make a blunder here and there. We cannot help but wonder if Hermione is considering if it is the real Draco playing Mr. Darcy. However, we are not in her head this chapter, so we do not know. Also I’m sure one is wondering what Nott will do about the book after he witnessed Draco’s disappearance within its pages. Will we be joined by a third person?

*All dialogued marked is quoted or **paraphrased from chapter six Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice(1813). The scenes are also derived from those chapters. The only things original to me are Draco's thoughts.
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The Joke Book Trap