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Just Let Me Die	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 25079 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any profit from this, as this is only written for practice.

Chapter List
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Chapter Two – Memories

Draco was slumped against the wall shaking with sobs. His friend Vincent died in the fire and he and Greg may have as well, but they were pulled out by the Golden Trio. He’d begged and pleaded to an unknown Death Eater not to kill him. He didn’t have a wand, so the only thing he could do was beg and plead. He was saved a second time by an unknown invisible person, but then was punched in the face and he once again huddled on the floor. He was a horrible person ruled by fear. His cowardly behavior and selfishness had led him to this spot. He continued to stay out of sight as the battle continued around him. His eyes closed tight. He didn’t want to see any more death. He’d already caused too much pain.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and before he could look up felt the sickening pull of apparition. He opened his eyes to see a menacing Crabbe Senior before him. He was in the dungeon of some building alone with the father of his friend who just died. He was more than overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say, so he remained quiet. Crabbe stared at him with his cold coal colored eyes, “You’re the reason my Vinnie died. You failed as a leader and allowed my son to die. I will make sure you pay for every mistake you’ve made and you’re father’s made.”

Draco felt like a stone dropped in the pit of his stomach. Fear washed over him knowing that he was not strong enough to fight the oversized man before him, and he was still without a wand. He could murder Harry for stealing his wand and himself for dropping his mother’s in the Room of Hidden things. He clinched his teeth as Crabbe grabbed him by his right arm and drag him across the stone floor toward a cell. Once inside, he was punched in the face and kicked in the gut. Draco tried to hold in the grunt that escaped his lips, but soon he was reeling in pain and heard a distant screaming in his ears. It took him a while to realize he was the one screaming from the hot pain coursing through his body. As soon as the pain stopped he remembered the curse, as it wasn’t the first time he’d experienced it. The Cruciatus Curse was nothing compared to whatever Hex Potter had thrown at him in the sixth floor boys’ loo in their sixth year. That curse had caused his life to flash before him, as he slowly died from blood loss. He could buck up and take the Cruciatus Curse. Didn’t he deserve it after watching Bellatrix torture Hermione without doing anything to help? He truly was a cowered ruled by fear. Why had those proud Gryffindors saved him and Greg? Were they not enemies?

His moment of clarity was clouded again by the searing pain of the Cruciatus Curse. It felt like his blood was boiling, he was lying on a bed of nails, and pins were being stuck into each of the tips of his fingers. He laid there in the fetal position with his arms locked around his legs trying to prevent the spasms. He let out a deep breath, when the curse ended a second time. He closed his eyes and hoped that Crabbe was done or that the man would just kill him. Of course, his hope was lost as Crabbe decided to torture him in another more diabolical way. He was going to force him to question his own masculinity and violate him in the most painful way possible.

With a flick of his wand, Crabbe had vanished his clothes. Draco was lying starkers on the cold stone floor. Before he could even question what was happening, he was struck with a whole new searing pain, as the brute of a man started breathing heavy and continued to pound into him. He shut his eyes and felt the tears welling up in his eyes. He could handle and deserved the Cruciatus Curse, but this was too much. He closed his eyes tightly hoping it would end soon. It was the second time he hoped that Crabbe would just use the killing curse on him after he was done. He didn’t want to live anymore. What girl would want to be with him after this? How could he even look his mother in the eye? The man behind him groaned and shuttered behind him. He slapped him hard on the ass and announced, “I think I’ve found a new pass time.” He walked out of the cell and locked the door; leaving Draco huddled on the cold surface sobbing. He kept his eyes closed hoping he’d fall asleep because he couldn’t stay awake and think about what just happened.

He kept his eyes closed when he heard a faint popping noise. Soon he was clean, lying on a soft down bed, and covered with a warm blanket. As soon as the warmth sunk in, he fell asleep. He woke up the next morning to the smell of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. He rolled over to find a tray of food next to the floor mat he was lying on. There was a warm cup of tea on the tray as well. He quickly gobbled down the food and drank the tea. As soon as his hunger was satiated he felt overly tired and lied back down on the mat falling back to sleep. The next time he woke up was a repeated torture from the night before. Draco was soon crying into the down mat before he heard the pop and felt the cleaning spell. This routine continued for months, until it was soon just the pop and the food appearing. Crabbe had disappeared and as soon as Draco thought that maybe he was gone for good, the man showed up stinking of alcohol.

Draco continued to compartmentalize his thoughts and tried to detach himself from the body that was Crabbe’s plaything. He kept the small scraps of his humanity locked away. Something had gotten into Crabbe because that night wasn’t the normal routine. He was forced into a sitting position and a potion was poured down his throat.

“Draco, that was Veritaserum, so you will have to answer these questions truthfully,” he smirked.

“Yes?” Draco croaked.

“Why did you let my son die?”

Draco could’ve fooled the potion with his Occlumency, but he didn’t have the strength and concentration to use it, “I didn’t let him die. He was the idiot that didn’t follow my orders to capture Potter alive. He was throwing around the killing curse and when that didn’t work, he casted Fiendfyre. Greg and I would’ve died with him because he lost control of the spell, however for some unknown reason the Golden Trio decided to save our sorry asses.”

“You lie,” he yelled punching Draco in the face.

Draco didn’t speak. He just clinched his jaw, preparing for the pain from the curse. He convulsed as the searing pain shot through him, and as soon as he thought it was over, it started up again. When he collapsed to the floor in exhaustion, he closed his eyes tightly and prepared for the violation that always followed the curse. Instead he was shocked when he was forced back into a sitting position and his face was punched a second time, busting his lip. Crabbe had him by his hair and forced Draco’s open mouth onto his member. Draco gagged as it was violently plunged past his throat.

Crabbe pulled him off by his hair, “You’re no good at that. Apparently you weren’t gifted with the skills your father possesses. I guess I’ll just have to take you the way you like it.” He threw Draco down onto the down mat on his stomach. Draco could barely breathe as the man put his full weight on him and violated him. The man never prepped him, so it always caused him to tear and bleed. Draco again tried to mentally go somewhere else. He didn’t want to be here for this. Crabbe groaned and collapsed onto his back. He smacked his ass and chuckled, “As always Draco, you’re a great fuck. I guess since you’re not good at anything else, I might as well keep you.”

Draco couldn’t stop the sobs. He always felt so dirty, worthless, and horrible after Crabbe visited him. He wanted nothing more than to die. There was no point in living as apparently no one cared enough to look for him. There was a pop and he felt the familiar cleaning spell and healing spells. He opened his eyes to find a little house-elf attending to him. She soon poured a potion down his throat and he fell into a deep dreamless sleep. His days blurred and a few years passed. Draco wondered why he’d survived this long. Soon time passed without anymore visits from Crabbe and the only visit he had was from the house-elf Rosy. She brought him food, gave him dreamless sleeping draught, and attended to his self-inflicted wounds. She was always there to stop him from killing himself. He rammed into the bars causing bruises. He’d grow his fingernails out so he could dig them into his shoulders. He needed the pain to know that he was alive and only the pain could stop his tears.

Sometimes he’d let his mind wander back to Hogwarts and the Yule Ball their fourth year. Hermione looked so pretty that night. He hadn’t seen her that way before that night, but his father had filled his mind with the sickness of hatred for non-purebloods. She had a wonderful smile. His thoughts moved back to the Battle of Hogwarts, where he and Greg were pulled out of the flames. Her honey eyes had met his for a moment and he thought she may have saw past his Occlumency. Her gaze was almost as piercing as the late Dumbledore, his heart ached. He never wanted him to die. His life of privilege had spun out of control as soon as the Dark Lord had returned.

Rosy came back with his nightly sleeping draught, and he welcomed the blackness that quieted his thoughts. The draught began to wear off and the dreams returned. He saw his honey eyed angel before him, just as she looked at the Yule ball. The vision faded away as the memories of everything that happened to him over the years painfully flashed through his mind. Someone was in his head and looking at his memories. Again he didn’t have the mental strength to stop the person. He had a feeling it was the woman he’d dreamed about. She was the only reason why he remained alive, as his belief in people like her allowed him to hope. He had a glimmer of hope that he would be found. He soon heard retching. He assumed the person invading his mind couldn’t handle his memories.

His eyes were open but his mind was so far away from his surroundings, all he saw was the darkness as he listened to the conversation. He soon recognized her voice and she spoke about visiting Harry. He thought it was her, but his mind could be playing tricks on him again. He felt fingers run through his hair and an image of Crabbe violating him came to mind causing his body to shudder with disgust as he prepared for the pain and cried out in fear. The person quickly removed the hand making him realize it wasn’t Crabbe and he heard her voice again. He managed to whisper, “Hermione?” It was a few minutes before he was staring into her warm honey eyes, “Where am I?”

She ran her fingers along his scalp and he felt the tingles of her touch. It calmed him beyond anything he could’ve imagined. Her voice soothed him almost as much as her touch, “You’re at St. Mungo's and Crabbe’s is in custody.” He felt his body shutter both from her gentle touch but also from the lingering side effects of the Cruciatus Curse. “Are you in pain?”

“I’ve been in pain for years,” he managed closing his eyes to her touch. “That feels so nice. I haven’t been touched like that in years. Wait, how long have I been missing?” He had lost count but he knew it had been more than a couple of years.

“It’s been five years since the Battle at Hogwarts. The Aurors have been looking for you, but there was no evidence as to who took you. When Crabbe was finally captured a year ago, it took them a while to search all of the properties he owned. I haven’t talked to Harry yet, but I have a feeling they were surprised to find you. Don’t worry you’re safe now,” that last sentence filled him with so much hope. He knew he was safe as long as she was here with him.

He closed his eyes as his mind fluttered over the images of his mother and father. Tears formed in his eyes as he wondered if they even cared he was missing, “My parents?”

“You’re father’s in Azkaban and you’re mother will probably be here shortly to see you. She’s been-”

“Is he awake?” his mother’s voice carried across the room. She was here for him. His heart swelled as he realized she still cared.

He listened to the conversation being carried on between Hermione and his mother. He felt his body shake with the sobs he tried to contain. Soon his mother was sitting in the chair beside the bed and took his hand. He allowed his eyes to open and he saw her gray eyes filled with concern. He forced a smile, “I’m okay mum.”

Tears glistened in her eyes as she squeezed his hand, “I never gave up hope. They were searching for you, but we didn’t know who took you. We had no leads. I’m sorry it took us this long to find you. Your father was devastated when you disappeared. He was so angry and he didn’t feel the Ministry was doing enough to find you. He was sentenced to five years in Azkaban six months after your disappearance for overstepping his bounds.”

He tried to put his mother at ease, “I’m sorry you and him suffered. Don’t worry about me. It’s okay, I survived. I’m no longer there and maybe someday I will be whole again.” She started sobbing loudly as he berated himself. Why did he have to say that?

A male cleared his throat, “Mrs. Malfoy I think we should give him his potions and sleeping draught now.” His mother took the bottles from the other person and helped him drink the potions. He soon slipped off into a blissful dreamless sleep.

A/N: I have been trying to clean this up a bit. I apologize for any errors I missed. I had previously posted this on another site and I’m upset that I missed some errors. I’m not making any major changes to this story, so hopefully it will be as popular on this site.
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Just Let Me Die