Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Scars	By : blackkisbackk Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Remus/Sirius Views: 2731 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter, and I make no profit from the writing of this story. All that is mine are a few original characters.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Part Two

A few weeks later, the incident between Sirius and Remus seemed to be all but forgotten by both parties. The last Hogsmeade weekend of the year was in a few days, and none of the boys seemed excited about it. Remus and James, as a prefect and Head Boy, respectively, were required to perform their duties at Hogsmeade as a part of the enhanced security in the village since the rise of Lord Voldemort. The village had already been swarming with Aurors during the last Hogsmeade weekend, but Dumbledore wanted literally every hand on deck, including student officials. Neither James nor Remus was looking forward to this, and Sirius was not particularly looking forward to spending the day alone with Peter, who repelled girls worse than if he suddenly turned into the Whomping Willow.

Classes had ended for the day and the evening was settling in, casting an orange glow into the tower. Remus was sitting in the empty common room in his usual spot next to the bare fireplace when Sirius and James came bounding through the portrait hole. Remus smiled when he looked up and saw them, knowing full well that they had probably just been up to some of their old tricks.

“Did you see the look on Snivelly’s face when—”

“Severus, again? Really? I thought you two would have tired of him by now, especially now that you’re with Lily,” Remus said looking at James from where he was sitting. Remus wore a frown, but he was surely laughing on the inside.

“Old habits die hard, Rem,” Sirius said. Just as he had for the past few weeks, Remus blushed when Sirius addressed him. Things had still been fairly awkward between the two friends since the incident in the hospital wing, but they were on their way to improvement. James sat down in the comfortable chair next to the couch Remus was occupying, and Sirius took a seat dangerously close to Remus on that couch. Remus tried to move away subtly, but he was on the end of the couch and Sirius had him sandwiched. “Besides, James is Head Boy now, so we haven’t been able to have much fun lately. We have to get it while we can,” Sirius said happily. He clenched his aristocratic jaw several times and Remus could not help but stare at that movement out of the corner of his eye. He could feel all of his limbs tingling. Sirius knew he was sitting too close to Remus, but he could not help himself. He could feel Remus’s eyes on him, which gave him an excited jolt.

“And that dreadful Hogsmeade weekend is coming up, so I’m definitely not going to be able to have any fun then,” James said, leaning back comfortably in his chair. They sat in silence for a few moments before James said, “Where’s Pete?”

“I don’t know,” Remus said. “He left the room earlier in a mad dash and I haven’t seen him since. I’m not too worried about it,” he finished. James laughed and Sirius joined him.

“He’s probably off with that lass he’s been following around for months,” Sirius said. “The girl sees nothing in him, but she loves the attention.”

“Pete’s got a good heart. Maybe she likes that about him,” James said hopefully.

“Not likely,” Sirius said. He laughed and put an arm around Remus. “What about you, my boy, any dames catch your eye lately?” James laughed and Remus squirmed in his spot.

“Er—no, not really, no one special,” Remus said. Sirius could tell his friend was uncomfortable, but he didn’t care. He did not want to take his arm off of Remus.

“Well, she’s out there,” Sirius began. “Take me and Collette, for instance—”

“Collette?” James interjected. “What about Elizabeth?”

“Elizabeth is old news. She started calling me her boyfriend, and I did not like the sound of that,” Sirius said. “Anyway, me and Collette, you know, we get each other. She knows I need my space and I know she likes to flirt…with everyone, but we’ve got it figured out. One day, you’ll find a gal like that, Rem, and when you do, hold on to her.”

Without explanation, anger flared up inside Remus. He stood up quickly from where he was sitting and grabbed all of his things before storming up to the seventh year boys’ dormitory. Sirius looked at James who shook his head.

“You should probably go talk to him,” James said.

“Me? Why me?”

“Because it was obviously something you said.”

Sirius could not help but see that James had a point. He knew he had been pushing Remus’s buttons, and he had been doing that a lot lately. It had always annoyed Remus to hear about Sirius’s exploits, and ever since the hospital wing, Sirius had been talking about them more and more. Sirius did not know if he had something to prove or what, but he knew that it was taking a toll on his friendship with Remus. Swallowing his pride, Sirius stood up and walked up to the dormitory.

“Remus?” he called out tentatively when he entered the room. Remus was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. Sirius walked over slowly and took a seat next to his friend. Remus quickly jumped up.

“What do you want, Sirius?”

“I-I’m sorry for what I said down there. I was just kidding around about Collette,” Sirius rambled on. “I didn’t mean to insult you or anything because you don’t have a girl. I was just saying that I want you to be happy—”

“Oh, come off it, Sirius!” Remus said angrily. “You don’t have to feel sorry for me and I don’t feel sorry for myself because I ‘don’t have a girl’, as you say. You know exactly why I got upset down there. You may have forgotten everything that happened during my last transformation, but I haven’t!” Remus was fuming, raising his voice to almost a yell. “You may want to act like it meant nothing, but I can’t lie to myself like you can. I can’t lie to myself and pretend that relationships with girls named Collette actually mean anything. You hide behind this façade of women and pretend like you’ve got it all figured out. I’ve—”

“Look, I didn’t forget, Remus, and I know it didn’t mean nothing! I don’t know what it meant, and neither do you. Oh, you think you have me all figured out, don’t you?” Sirius had raised his voice as well and had moved off the bed. He was now standing about two feet from Remus. “I hide behind a façade of women? You hide behind your books and your words! All you do is hide, it’s all you know how to do!”

“That’s a laugh, Sirius, it really is. You knew how I felt—”

“Did I?” Sirius yelled. “I had absolutely no idea how you felt, Remus! You act like you were so forthcoming and up front, well you weren’t.”

“I waited for you!” Remus took a few steps closer to Sirius. “I waited for you to come to me that night and the next morning, but you never did. I knew why, deep down. I knew you wouldn’t come because you are what you are, Sirius—a coward!”

Sirius took a step forward and looked as if he might hit Remus. “I did come back for you,” he said. His voice was now low, as if he were growling. “I brought your stupid books and I sat by your bed. You were asleep!”

“You couldn’t have come any later! You came when you knew I would be asleep so you wouldn’t have to deal with your feelings,” Remus’s voice finally broke. “Sirius Black, the heartbreaker. Sirius Black, never the one woman man. More like Sirius Black, the man who can never face how he truly feels.”

“You’re being absolutely ridiculous,” Sirius said, the volume of his voice now rising again. “I came back late on purpose? I came back late because McGonagall would have had my head if she knew I was out past hours again! I had to be careful, something you know all about. Remus Lupin, never a toe out of line!”

“I would have put a toe out of line for you, Sirius! I wanted you! I waited for you—”

“Oh, yeah, you waited for me, I know, but I was too much of a COWARD TO COME BACK!”

Remus turned as if to leave the room, but Sirius was very quick. He grabbed Remus’s arm and turned him around to face him. Then, with a great deal of force, Sirius pushed Remus against the wall behind them, pushing his own body against Remus’s. Remus could feel a jolt beneath his belt, but he lifted his arms and tried to push Sirius off of him. Sirius grabbed onto Remus’s wrists and stared fiercely into his eyes.

“Get off me,” Remus said quietly.

“No.”

With his hands still wrapped tightly around Remus’s wrists, Sirius leaned in slowly and placed his right cheek onto Remus’s right cheek. Although Remus was still struggling to be free, his body went crazy when he began to feel Sirius’s stubble on the side of his face and Sirius’s breath on his neck, causing Remus to tremble. Sirius moved his face so that his nose was now on Remus’s cheek. Remus could feel his shoulders slouch as he gave in to Sirius. Sirius then moved his face again so that his and Remus’s noses were touching for several moments before moving his left cheek onto Remus’s left cheek. Sirius bowed his head so that his chin was in the crook of Remus’s neck. Remus felt Sirius’s lips brush his jaw line. Without meaning to, Remus let out a soft moan when he felt Sirius’s mouth press onto his neck in a soft kiss. After a few moments, Sirius began to kiss Remus all over his neck. He still had a hold on Remus’s wrists, but he had loosened his grip so he held them softly but firmly next to them, so that Remus’s wrists were parallel to his shoulders. Remus could not stop the moans coming from him as Sirius showered his neck with kisses. When Remus felt Sirius’s tongue graze his neck, Remus softly hissed Sirius’s name, causing Sirius to feel a twitch in his pants.

Without warning, Sirius heard bounding up the stairs in the direction of their dormitory and let go of Remus quickly when he realized that either James or Peter must be coming up to the room. Sirius walked quickly over to his bed just in time to hear Peter open the door and come scrambling into the room. Sirius glanced over at Remus and saw that his friend still had his hands in the air where Sirius had left them. Peter came to a halt when realized that he may have just interrupted something.

“Oh, er—um, sorry, James said he thought you two were having a row, but you had quieted down, so he thought it was safe for me to come up here,” Peter was looking quickly between Sirius and Remus, who did not say anything. “I just wanted to get my Potions book. Gertrude was tutoring me, and so I just…” Peter’s voice trailed off when both Remus and Sirius remained silent. Sirius took a seat on the edge of his bed, and Peter walked quickly over to his own. Remus was still standing in the same position, although he had lowered his arms.

“Well, I’ll be off then,” Peter said after grabbing his Potions book from under his bed. He looked at Remus and Sirius awkwardly before finally leaving the room again.

For several minutes—but for what felt like an eternity—Remus and Sirius stayed where they were and did not make any sound. Remus’s head was empty. The only thing he could think of was the feeling of Sirius’s mouth on his neck, his breath leaving a trail behind. Sirius’s head, however, was full, so full that he could not comprehend any of his own thoughts.

After a long while, Remus heard footsteps approaching and then stop tentatively outside the door to the dormitory. Both Remus and Sirius had not moved or spoken since before Peter had entered the room. After a few seconds, James opened the door and stepped in. He looked to his left at Remus and then looked ahead of himself at Sirius sitting on his bed. Without saying anything, James walked over to his trunk and rummaged through it. He grabbed out Lily’s Transfiguration book that he had been borrowing since he lost his book about a month ago. Still in silence, he took the book and went back down to the common room.

A long time passed and still neither Sirius nor Remus had made any kind of movement. Finally, Remus said:

“Sirius, I—” Sirius shook his head to cut Remus off. Remus tried to get a look at Sirius’s face, but he had turned away from Remus to face the window. Remus could feel tears sting his eyes, but he fought like crazy to keep them from coming to fruition. He did not want Sirius to see him cry, but most of all he did not want Sirius to know that their interaction had had this kind of effect on him. Remus thought that if he spoke again Sirius would hear the emotion in his voice, but he could not take the silence any longer.

“Sirius—” Again, Remus was cut off by a quick hand movement on Sirius’s part. Finally, Sirius stood up and without saying a word to his friend, he left the room and did not spare a second glance. Finding this action more unbearable than anything Sirius could have done, Remus finally gave way to his emotions as he felt his knees buckle. Remus slid to the floor with his head in his hands and wept.

James was sitting in the common room pretending to study with Lily, when really she was studying and he was trying to distract her by, among other things, levitating her quill and making it tickle her on the neck.

“James!” Lily said in between giggles. “We have to study!”

“You just look so beautiful. It’s distracting me,” he said with a handsome grin. He let the quill fall onto the table, and then placed his hand on Lily’s cheek. She blushed and he said, “How can you expect me to study when I’ve got the most beautiful girl in the school as my study partner?”

“Stop,” Lily said, the blush on her face deepening immensely. She took his hand off her face and smiled. “You’re distracting yourself, James Potter. You—”

Just then, Lily was cut off by Sirius stumbling down the flight of stairs that led to the seventh year boys’ dormitory. Sirius did not even seem to notice them, and he barreled on across the room and through the portrait hole. Lily thought the look on his face was a mixture between sadness and anger, with an emphasis on the anger, and maybe another emotion she could not place. When the portrait hole swung shut, Lily turned to James. He was looking in the direction that Sirius had just gone, and Lily could tell that he wanted to be there for his best friend, whatever the matter was.

“You should see if he’s okay,” she said.

“What?” James said, distracted. “Oh, no,” he said once he realized Lily was talking about Sirius. “I don’t think it’s me he wants to talk to.”

“Who then?” Lily asked. “You’re his best friend.”

“I know,” James was still looking toward where Sirius had just exited the room. “But I think something’s going on between him and Remus.”

“Well, how about this? I’ll go talk to Remus if you go talk to Sirius,” Lily said.

James finally looked back at Lily. “Really? You would do that?”

“Of course,” she smiled. “I would do anything for you.”

James stood up and pulled Lily up to him in a tight hug. “You’re incredible,” he whispered in her ear. He pulled back and looked into her deep green eyes before pulling her into a tender kiss. “I’m so lucky,” he said once he finally pulled away.

“Yes, that you are,” Lily said tapping him on the nose lightly. “But so am I,” she added. James hugged her again and kissed her on her flushed cheek before running out of the common room after Sirius. He did not know where his friend had gone off to, but he had a few ideas as to where to check first.

While James searched for Sirius, Lily walked up to the boys’ dormitory and listened closely before opening the door. She knew she could hear crying, and she was worried about how she may be received by her dear friend, but Lily and Remus had grown close over the years, and she hoped that this time he would let her in. Lily opened the door tentatively, and the sight she saw nearly broke her heart. When the door opened, Remus looked up so quickly at Lily that she thought he might have hurt his neck. His blotched face and red eyes gave away his tears, and the hopeful look on his face gave away the fact that he hoped it would be Sirius walking through that door.

Lily sat down on the ground next to her friend and waited patiently for him to speak first. She didn’t want to force him to talk if he didn’t want to, and she was more than willing to just be his literal shoulder to cry on if that’s what he wanted. She remembered how Remus had been there for her after she turned James down for a date on principle although she had wanted more than anything to say yes for years before that. After losing Severus, she did not really have anyone else close enough to talk to, and Remus had been there for her the way she would be here for him now.

“Lily, go,” Remus said. “I don’t want anyone to see me like this.”

Lily did not say anything, but she did not move either. Remus looked at her and once he realized she was not going anywhere, he allowed the tears to flow once more. Lily pulled Remus head down into her lap and rubbed his head while he lamented.

James was running down one of the seventh floor corridors, hoping that Sirius was not too far ahead of him. He had considered donning the Invisibility Cloak so that he could confront Sirius without worrying that he would escape before he got the chance, but James had not wanted to waste any time and more than that, he had not wanted to go into his dormitory knowing the state that Remus was probably in.

Unsure of what had happened or was happening between his two friends, James did not quite know how he was going to approach the situation. For the last few years, James had suspected that there was a bit more than friendly feelings between Moony and Padfoot, but knowing Sirius, James had assumed that no action would ever be taken. The time had come, James assumed, for both boys to face how they truly felt about each other, and what had resulted was a row between them. James and Sirius were best friends, but James knew that it would take more than that to break the surface of Sirius’s feelings.

James rounded the corner and came to face a wall where he knew the Room of Requirement to be. James was almost one hundred percent certain that this is where Sirius would be, and he was even more certain of what Sirius had likely been thinking when he had attempted to enter the room. James paced back and forth in front of the door three times while saying I need a place to think in his head each time. After the third go, a door appeared in front of him. With a bit of hesitation, James opened the door to the room and saw what seemed to be a quiet, albeit large, study room lined with desks and books and what looked like notes from previous occupiers. James peaked behind the privacy divider of the first large desk he came to and saw his best friend sitting there with his head in his hands.

“Sirius,” he said quietly. Immediately, Sirius jumped up from the desk and held his wand up a few inches from his dearest friend’s chest.

“James,” Sirius said with a sigh of relief while lowering his wand. “Get out of here,” he said without another moment’s hesitation.

“No,” James said simply. He took a seat from a nearby desk and swung it around so that the back of the chair was closest to Sirius. He straddled the chair and looked at his friend who was still standing.

“Then I’ll leave,” Sirius said angrily.

“Sirius!” James said forcefully. “You’re going to talk to me.” With a wave of his wand James moved a large shelf in front of the door. Sirius looked at it and looked as if he was considering moving it out of the way, but he merely slumped his shoulders and went back to where he was sitting. James waited for Sirius to speak first.

“Well, what is it that you wanted?” Sirius finally asked after over a minute of silence.

“To talk,” James said with a shrug.

“Oh?” Sirius said without looking at his friend. “About what?”

“You know what, Sirius.”

“Did you talk to Remus?” Sirius said. His voice sounded nervous but also hopeful. James knew that Sirius was not quite ready to share whatever it was that was going on.

“No,” James said. “I wanted to talk to you first.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Sirius said, rising from his seat again. He started to pace across a small section of the room. “Remus probably never wants to speak to me again,” Sirius said sadly. As soon as the sadness came, however, it was gone. Sirius was angry when he said, “I don’t know what he wants from me!”

“What do you mean?” James asked calmly.

“I mean just that!” James thought Sirius’s anger would push him to the point that he told James how he felt. “He expects me to just change my whole life, everything I’ve ever known, for him. Well, I’m not going to do that. I am who I am, and I’m not about to change for anyone.” Sirius stopped pacing and looked at James for the first time since he had pointed his wand at him just a few minutes before. “I can’t be who he wants me to be. He’s one of my best mates, but I’m not going to risk everything for him.”

“Why?” James asked. He figured he should keep his responses to a minimum so Sirius would keep talking.

“Why?! What do you mean ‘why’?” Sirius asked angrily. “Because I don’t know how I feel. This all happened so fast—”

“Did it?” James interrupted.

The interruption took Sirius off guard and he spluttered a bit before answering. “What? What do you mean?”

“Well, if you ask me, this has been a long time coming,” James said with a small smile.

“Good thing no one asked you,” Sirius said. He finally took a seat where he had been sitting before James had entered. James knew Sirius was ready to talk for real. “How did you get in here anyway?” Sirius asked.

“I told the door I needed a place to think.” Sirius nodded. Neither boy spoke for a long time, and James knew that this time he would have to make the first move. “Sirius,” he finally said. “What happened up there?”

Sirius let out a long sigh and leaned back in his chair so he was looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t know, James,” he replied. “It’s all too much.”

“What do you mean ‘too much,’ Sirius?” James truly was confused.

“I don’t know, James!” Sirius was out of his chair again with his back to James.

“Look, Sirius, whatever it is, you need to figure it out,” James said, rising out of his chair as well. “It’s obvious that there’s something more than friendship between you and Remus.” Sirius whipped around and faced James. “Oh, yeah, mate, we’ve all known it for years. You’ve just been too busy running around with every lass in the school or maybe you’ve just been too stupid to stop and take a second to notice it.” Sirius opened his mouth to speak but James continued. “You’re always afraid to admit how you really feel, and maybe that’s because of your parents or maybe it’s because of something else—I don’t know. All I know is that you like Remus and Remus likes you, and there’s no reason not to do something about it.”

“That’s easy for you to say, James,” Sirius said, taking a step closer with venom in his eyes. “The girl you love loves you back! You’ve got it all. You know how she feels and she knows how you feel. This is so much more complicated than anything I or you have ever had to deal with.”

James was taken aback. He didn’t know that Sirius’s feelings for Remus went as far as love. James grappled for the words he was looking for and said, “I—I… Things with Lily weren’t always easy. Did you forget how long it took for her to finally say yes to me? I waited for her for years. More than six years, Sirius, and I would have waited six hundred more. You have to fight for what you want. You can’t just run away—”

“I’m in love with him.” Saying the words out loud gave Sirius an overwhelming sense of freedom and relief that caused a smile to spread across his face for the first time since he had upset Remus in the common room a little while ago.

James smiled and pulled his best friend into a hug. “Of course you are,” he said once he pulled away. “And everyone deserves to be with who they love.”

After several minutes of crying, Remus finally took his head off of Lily’s shoulder and laid his head against the cold stone of the dormitory wall that he was sitting against.

“Why didn’t you say yes to James even after you knew you liked him back?” Remus said after he wiped his last tear away.

Lily seemed surprised by the question, but she answered Remus as truthfully as she could. “I don’t know… I think I was still trying to hold onto something that wasn’t there anymore. You know, my friendship with Severus. I knew that once I said yes to James, everything with Severus and me would come to an end.” Lily turned to face Remus and took his hand in hers. “It’s hard,” she began. “It’s really hard to let yourself be happy. I never thought it could be that hard but it really is,” she said with a laugh. “We’re afraid, and we don’t want things to change, but sometimes… Sometimes we just have to let the light in.”

Remus sighed and smiled through his still watery eyes. “I thought tonight would be it,” Remus said with a shaky voice. “I thought tonight would be the night that I finally saw some light in all of my darkness.” After he explained to Lily in detail what had happened between him and Sirius a little bit ago he said, “I love him, Lily.”

“I know, Remus,” was all she said in response. She put her head on his shoulder and he rested his head on top of her head. They sat like that for several seconds before Remus heard someone running lightly up the stairs. The person stopped for a moment before entering the room, and when the door opened, Remus thought his heart might explode into a million pieces. Sirius was standing in the doorway looking frightened and confused while all the while looking excited and nervous. Lily got up quickly, patted Sirius on the shoulder and then left the room to join James, her one true love.

Remus went to stand up, but before he could, Sirius dropped to the floor and grabbed Remus into a bruising kiss. Neither Sirius nor Remus had ever felt anything like it. Remus reached up and put both his hands into Sirius’s hair, as Sirius scooted in closer and put his hands on Remus’s waist. Remus was now sitting with his legs apart with Sirius on his knees in between Remus’s legs. Remus could feel his friend shaking, but that only made Remus pull him deeper into the kiss. Remus moaned when he felt Sirius’s tongue enter his mouth and discover all the bumps and crevices of Remus’s mouth. This further enticed Sirius who let out a low growl as he moved his hands to Remus’s neck and pulled him violently deeper and deeper into the kiss until both boys were lost.

Sirius moved his mouth to Remus’s neck, and where he had placed gentle kisses before, he now bit at his friend hungrily, as if he would never be able to get enough of his taste. Remus felt the bulge in his pants tighten, but he fought to keep control, though he didn’t know how long his control would last. He was panting as Sirius laid rough kisses all over his neck. Finally, Sirius came up for air and both boys panted together. Sirius put his forehead against Remus’s for a few seconds before pulling away and looking deeply and passionately into Remus’s eyes. Without warning, Sirius pressed his mouth against Remus’s once again, biting on both of Remus’s lips and feeling his way all around Remus’s mouth with his own very hungry mouth.

Remus put his hands on Sirius’s waist and pulled him in so that Sirius’s body was resting against Remus’s while the kissing continued. Sirius trailed his hands down to the end of Remus’s shirt and tried to lift Remus’s shirt over his head, but Remus moved his hands quickly and placed them around Sirius’s wrists so that he could not lift the shirt. Fearing it would ruin the mood, Remus did not want Sirius to see his scars. Sirius pulled out of the kiss that the two boys were still sharing and looked at Remus with lust and desire. Remus had never seen Sirius look at him that way, and if he could, Remus would have taken a photograph so he could capture that look forever.

Sirius leaned in and kissed Remus very tenderly on the neck. When he pulled away, he looked at Remus and said, “Let me,” and Remus released Sirius’s wrists and allowed him to pull the shirt over his head, after which, Sirius quickly pulled his own shirt over his head, exposing his very muscular chest.

Remus looked closely at Sirius to gauge his reaction but saw no look of fear or disgust or anything like it. Remus only saw raw passion, which caused the already large bulge in his pants to twitch uncomfortably. Sirius lowered himself down so that his face was parallel with Remus’s chest. With as much fragility as he could muster, Sirius placed a soft kiss on a long scar that ran from one side of Remus’s chest to another. Sirius moved further down and kissed a rather dark scar on the skin above the right side of Remus’s rib cage. Then, Sirius trailed several soft kisses down to an old scar on Remus’s pelvis. Remus’s whole body was shaking as he sat against the wall and looked down at Sirius. Afraid of what might happen next, Remus pulled Sirius back up to him and kissed him fiercely.

Unable to resist, Sirius gave into to Remus’s kiss although he wanted to do more than kiss. Unwilling to let Remus’s or his own fear and uncertainty get in the way, Sirius kissed Remus while he unzipped the black school slacks Remus was wearing. Sirius went to put his hand in the now open spot, but Remus was quick and he put his hand on Sirius’s wrist. Despite his hesitancy, Sirius could see the desire in Remus’s eyes, and so Sirius moved Remus’s hand and put his own hand down Remus’s loose trousers.

Remus gasped and arched his back as he felt Sirius take hold of his erection, and Sirius’s mouth fell open when he realized how much he wanted this. Sirius began massaging his hand around Remus’s genitals, and Remus closed his eyes and moaned softly in response. Sirius’s face was an inch from Remus’s and although Remus’s eyes were closed, Sirius had his eyes locked on Remus.

Sirius slid Remus’s pants down to Remus’s mid-thigh which allowed his hardness to break free, giving Remus immense relief.

“Sirius,” Remus murmured in a voice that did not seem like his own.

At the sound of Remus saying his name, Sirius could not wait any longer. With one quick movement, Sirius’s face was now down by Remus’s waist, and before Remus could realize what was happening, he felt Sirius’s warm mouth slide slowly over his hard shaft. Due to the shock, Remus’s eyes jutted open and his pelvis thrust upward somewhat involuntarily, causing Sirius to take Remus full into his mouth. Sirius lifted his mouth off of Remus and coughed a bit. Without looking at him, Sirius waved away Remus’s apologies and placed his mouth back over the tip of Remus’s erection. This time Remus was prepared for it, but that did not stop the loud moan that escaped from his mouth.

Rhythmically, Sirius started to move up and down Remus’s hard and pulsating erection. Remus moaned with each movement and began to buck his hips upwards into Sirius each time Sirius lowered himself further onto Remus, although Remus was careful not to go too far. Remus had a sharp intake of breath when he felt Sirius suck hard and then pull off of Remus’s member. Sirius moved up to kiss Remus, but he pushed Sirius back down and Sirius smiled before starting in on Remus again.

This time, Sirius cupped Remus’s sack and massaged it while moving his mouth up and down over Remus’s sex. Gasping and moaning and whispering Sirius’s name in a raspy, passion filled voice, Remus knew he was about to lose control. Sirius knew Remus was close, so he worked his member even harder, taking care to suck in hard each time he pulled his mouth up, knowing that it drove Remus crazy.

“Sirius,” Remus moaned loudly, arching again. Knowing this was a signal, Sirius prepared himself, and when Remus released himself into Sirius’s mouth, Sirius swallowed it quickly, coughed only a few times and then sat down next to Remus who turned his head to face Sirius and smiled, and a smile from Sirius followed.

Remus looked down and noticed that Sirius was hard in his pants. Wanting desperately to return the favor, Remus stood up, kicking his pants the rest of the way off and pulled Sirius up so that their torsos and waists were touching. Remus could feel Sirius growing even more as he kissed Sirius hard on the mouth. Lips still locked, Remus moved them over to his four-poster bed. He unzipped Sirius pants and pulled them down to the floor; he then lay on his bed and pulled Sirius on top of him. Remus moved his hand down and rubbed Sirius’s throbbing erection, causing Sirius to breath heavily and arch into his touch. Unable and unwilling to control himself, Sirius pinned Remus’s hands down and thrust his lips onto Remus’s, forcing his tongue into Remus’s mouth.

“Remus,” Sirius called out in between kisses as he began to rock up and down quickly against Remus’s body, each time caressing his hard member against Remus’s stomach. While still kissing Remus, Sirius moved one of his hands down to his shaft and adjusted it so it was ready to enter Remus. When Remus felt the tip of Sirius on his hole, however, he sat up quickly and pushed Sirius off of him.

Sirius looked hurt and confused, and Remus looked extremely embarrassed. “Sirius,” he said. “I can’t… I can’t do that. Not yet.”

Without speaking, Sirius stood up off of Remus’s bed, grabbed his trousers and shirt from the floor and walked over to his bed. He shoved his clothes in the trunk at the foot of his bed and climbed into his bed, closing the curtains violently.

“Sirius,” Remus said to the curtains. “Sirius, I’m sorry… Please don’t be upset with me. I’m just not ready for that yet. Maybe soon,” Remus tried to smile in reassurance although Sirius could not see him. “We can do other stuff,” he added hopefully. Sirius said nothing, and Remus’s insecurity instantly turned to anger. Remus felt that Sirius had no right to be angry with him, and he was not about to let Sirius do something to him that he wasn’t ready for. In response to Sirius’s silence, Remus closed the curtains around his own bed and turned over, knowing that he would get no sleep tonight.

Sirius lay on his back in his bed feeling hurt and embarrassed and confused. Of course, he didn’t want to make Remus do anything he wasn’t comfortable with, but did Remus really have to react that way? Sirius didn’t think so. Sirius sulked in bed for a while before deciding that he would just have to sleep on it and talk to Remus about it in the following day.
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Scars