Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Weasley's Wizard Wheezes	By : CryingCinderella Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 131978 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 30
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I make any money from writing these stories.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
A/N: Thank you for catching the eleven years- I was rushing to get this posted before I ran out and knew that didn’t sound right. I’ve corrected it to nineteen as it should have been. And for the many of you asking, this chapter— along with suitable goodies— will provide a more thorough explanation as to why they’ve both responded to this ad. I am glad you are all enjoying it so far; let me know what you think as I go, and thanks for the feedback!

            Hermione had paced for nearly a half hour at the far end of the street. There was a good possibility that he didn’t even live there anymore. But she didn’t know where else to go. Mustering up the Gryffindor courage that was supposedly repressed within the depths of her insides she marched against the evening’s wind up to the end of Spinner’s End and stood out in front of the door to the house for another twenty minutes before she finally forced herself to knock.

            When he pulled back the door to the otherwise empty night he was surprised to see Hermione Granger standing on his front stoop. “Miss Granger,” he said his brow furrowing. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice accusatory but not harsh and unkind as she had expected.

            “Could I come in?” she asked, her voice nearly lost to the evening wind.

            For a moment he thought to simply shake his head no and shut the door in the girl’s face, but after careful consideration he nodded and stepped aside so that she could enter, closing the door behind her. “To what do I owe your presence?” he asked, sweeping past her brusquely as he moved to stoke the small fire in his fireplace.

            She wasn’t surprised by his curt nature nor his nearly empty sitting room if that’s what one called an empty room with a chair facing the fireplace and a threadbare rug thrown in front of it. The walls were lined with bookshelves though all the shelves were empty save for the thick layers of dust and cobwebs that coated them. Her steps were slow, echoing slightly against the floorboards as she crossed over to where he stood. “I have a question to ask you, sir,” she said, her voice a bare whisper.

            Without acknowledging her he swept from the room over into a portion of the house unseen. Hermione frowned, standing there for a moment uncertain as to whether or not she should follow him. She hadn’t even had the chance to ask him what she’d come to ask him and already he was ignoring her, though she supposed she should have considered herself lucky to get past the front door. Just as she thought that it might be best to leave he appeared once more, this time lingering near the archway that led off to the rest of the house. She gazed at him for a curious but worried look upon her face.

            “It has been my experience, Miss Granger, that whenever someone starts the conversation off by stating that they have a question to ask rather than simply asking the question that it is indeed a complicated thing that will require explaining and take a good deal more time than simply posing it aloud,” he paused for a moment and then nodded to the archway. “I’ve put the kettle on, as Merlin knows you were never short for words in your days as my pupil,” again he paused, watching the look of embarrassed indignation register on her face. “And there are two chairs in the kitchen.”

            His kitchen was small, counters all around trimming the edges, broken up by major appliances; the icebox, the sink, the stove. In the center was a tiny square table with two chairs on either side, one facing the wall lined with counters the other facing the stove. He seated himself with his back to the stove and then nodded, waiting for her to do the same. Hermione pulled her chair out and sat down, not sure how or where to begin. The kettle began to whistle and he rose from his chair to pour two cups of tea before she finally began.

            “I have a dreadful feeling that George is going to give me the sack tomorrow.”

            Severus, who had taken his seat once again, stared at her for a long moment, letting the steam rise up off his tea before taking a small sip. “That is not a question, Miss Granger.”

            “What?” she asked and then shook her head as if to clarify. “Yes, I know that, but my question comes from that, essentially.”

            He nodded his head but once, waiting to see if she would continue. He noted the way she squirmed ever so slightly under his gaze. She had managed to maintain such a level of calm earlier in the evening when he had seen her at her most exposed, but now seated at his kitchen table fully clothed she was nervous. When she did not immediately start speaking once again he raised a thin eyebrow high upon his forehead. “Must be some question indeed if it has you this silent, Miss Granger.”

            Her cheeks filled with a crimson tint before she could stop them and she forced herself to gaze down into her untouched teacup, trying to settle the nerves that were twisting her stomach in knots. “I can’t afford to have him sack me, sir,” she said softly, a confession she seemed hesitant to make. “But I’m afraid he’ll have little use for a witch that has no experience.”

            Severus scoffed. “Given the length of time the ad continued to run in The Prophet I sincerely doubt that Mr. Weasley is in a position to sack anyone given his eagerness to get the product line to a sellable state.” His words seemed to make her even more nervous than before and he found this to be quite curious. “That being said, I’m not entirely sure what you intend for me to do about your woeful state of inexperience, Miss Granger.”

            It was something about the way he said her name, the way it slithered over his lips, his voice like a serpent hissing against her ear. Hermione drew the teacup to her lips and swallowed, letting the hot liquid run down her throat, trying to focus on it and not his voice. “I want to be able to go in tomorrow and tell him I can test that— that whatever it was, that toy,” she said without looking at him.

            “Then do so,” he said simply and picked up his teacup, never taking his eyes off her, tough she had yet to meet his gaze.

            “I can’t lie to him, not after what I told him today— he’ll know I haven’t…” her voice died as she blushed once more.

            “Then I suggest you find someone to do so, Miss Granger.” His voice was smooth as he set his empty cup down upon the table.

            There was a long silence that followed, finally broken as she sat her cup down on the table and slowly lifted her eyes to meet his. For a moment his gaze was completely unreadable, her eyes gently pleading at him. He scoffed, tilting his head up slightly as his lips curled into a faint smirk. “Surely a prostitute in Knockturne Alley would be more suited to such endeavors,” he said.

            This caused her to turn a furious shade of red as she looked away. “I can’t afford a prostitute,” she whispered and then quickly added. “And I wouldn’t anyhow…it’s not…it’s just not— I wouldn’t.” she said.

            He kept his gaze on her, studying the way she sat leaning slightly forward letting her bushy curls frame her face. The face that he had covertly watched from the corner of his eye all evening, the way she blushed, the way she trembled, not unlike the way she was doing so now. After another moment of silently watching her, waiting for her to speak, he pursed his lips. “And so the natural choice was to come here?” he asked, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

            This caused her eyes to snap up and meet his. While her face was still tinted pink with embarrassment she seemed to have found her voice. “You’ve already— I mean you— oh goodness,” she muttered and then drew in a deep breath, exhaling gently. “You’ve seen me naked a good deal more than I would care for you to have already today, sir, and given the situation…yes, logically this seemed like the right place to come.”

            “I see,” he said and then with a wave of his hand summoned the kettle over and refilled his cup. Severus was quiet as he sipped his second cuppa, contemplating, staring at her, just watching as she glanced nervously from her own empty cup to him and then to the table top. “I must admit I am intrigued as to why you need this job so desperately,” he ventured after several moments. “I don’t personally care one way or the other, but a witch at your age with the mind you had should it still be as it was when you were showing yourself off as a know-it-all extraordinaire during your days at Hogwarts should have no trouble procuring employment.”

            “Things have changed,” she said softly.

            “So much so that you were unable to keep your position at the ministry?”

            Hermione felt her face flush though this time it was not in embarrassment but in frustration. “I was let go from my co-council position at the ministry after too many unpopular outcomes of the clients whose cases I observed being defended,” she said tersely. His own exoneration trial had been the spark that set the downward rolling snowball in motion.

            Severus nodded, “Blacklisted then?” he asked.

            “So it would seem,” she muttered.

            He set the kettle down on the table and carefully pushed it across to her. Hermione’s hand curled around the handle of the kettle and poured herself a second cup before heaving a great sigh. “That was my question, you know,” she said after a moment, allowing herself a sip of tea before gazing at him.

            “What was?” Severus kept his eyes on hers, a steady glance that allowed him to read her better.

            “Why you had taken the job…” she shrugged a bit and then looked away.

            The slight sound of the chair shifting against the kitchen floor echoed through the room as he sat up and placed his hands flat on the table. “As you are finding, it is not easy maintaining work with such a…reputation. Exonerated, yes, but it’s only a word on a piece of paper,” he said simply.

            “Minerva couldn’t—”

            “Could not override the decision made by the Board of Governors controlled at the ministry? No. She could not. It turns out many parents, regardless of the trial proceedings, do not wish an Ex-Death Eater to be in charge of the education and functional safety of their children,” he spoke as if he were presenting a lecture to a personal class of one.

            “Your mastery license?” she asked, pulling the lower petal of her lip between her teeth and biting it.

            “Expired. And if I’ve taken a position as a test subject for sex toys I’m sure you can fathom that it is not in the budget to bring it up to date,” he said, the first hint of bitterness in his voice since she’d entered.

            This made Hermione frown. “How are you managing this house?” she asked.

            Severus snorted. “Not that it is any business of yours, but as you did come here to ask a question, Miss Granger, the house was paid for long ago…and the confundus charm that has kept the utilities paid on the property for some fifty years certainly isn’t going to up and fail now,” he added before she could ask about water and electricity. He was about to make a statement when he switched directions and posed her a question. “And where are you living, Miss Granger?”

            Hermione looked away from him, taking a long swallow of her tea. “About,” she said.

            “About?” he asked.

            She sighed. “I was staying with Ron until that all fell apart…I lost my flat three months ago…between Harry’s couch and Percy’s couch…occasionally I’ll pop in at the Burrow, Merlin knows Molly would put me up but I can’t expect that of her,” she said sounding a bit bitter herself.

            “Indeed,” he said and then reached across the table and pulled the kettle back toward him, pouring himself another cup. “It would appear, Miss Granger, that we are both in the same proverbial boat,” he said and then set the kettle down.

            “So it would,” she said with another sigh.

            Severus finished his tea in a deep swallow and then stood from the kitchen table. He put the kettle back on the stovetop and then placed his cup in the sink. Walking over to the counters that rested beneath the window he nodded to her. “Come here,” he said.

            Hermione was hesitant as she finished her tea and then stood from the chair. She walked across the small kitchen to where he stood, gazing up at him uncertainly. She wasn’t terribly short for a woman her age, but he was a good two heads taller than her, his lithe figure towering over her even in just his white shirtsleeves. Firm hands gripped her around the waist and she was hoisted up onto the counter, shrieking in surprise as he settled her bottom on the edge. “What are you doing?” she asked.

            “You don’t want to lose your job and I’ve already waited a month for him to find one girl, my empty pockets shall not last another month while he finds your replacement,” he said his voice lower, slightly gruffer than when he had addressed their job predicament moments ago.

            “Oh,” she said. “Oh!” she cried as realization struck her. “You’re going to— here on the counter?” she asked incredulously, eyes wide.

            Severus put one hand firmly on her shoulder and leaned her torso back against the window. “Here is as good a place as any,” he said and then brought one hand down to start undoing the button on her jeans. He held her gaze for a moment, fingers working deftly at unzipping her jeans, before he stilled his hand against her crotch, moving his body so that he stood flush between her legs.

            There was a breath of pause and then his lips were pressed against hers, a firm almost crushing kiss, his lips pushing hers apart as he snaked his tongue into her mouth. She whimpered, the sound catching in his mouth as he kissed her, sliding his tongue over hers before pulling back, gazing hard into her eyes.

            Hermione was panting slightly. “What was that for?” she asked, already her body was responding to him, the flush of her cheeks only the first sign of her arousal.

            “Preventative measures as I half expect you to say you’ve never been kissed before either,” he said with a slight sneer and then he stepped back, calling the kitchen chair to him silently with his hand. He sat on the chair much as he had earlier in the workshop on the stool, just between her legs, though she still wore her jeans. His hands were firm but gentle as he pulled her simple shoes from her feet, letting them drop with a thud to the tile of his kitchen floor. He kept her socks on but wasted no time in moving his hands up to the top of her jeans. “Brace yourself on the counter and lift your hips so I can take these off,” he said, commanding her as if giving instructions in his classroom.

            She was overwhelmed and her body shuddered slightly as she felt his hands on either side of her waist. But never one to disobey a teacher she gripped the edge of the counter and lifted her butt, allowing him to easily peel down the fabric of her jeans. They too landed in a discarded heap on the floor. There was a simple nod from him and she trembled once more, the piercing gaze of his eyes sending a rush of heat to her core. “Grip the counter ledge…this may be intense,” he said, as if warning her.

            Her heart had already tripled its rate, pounding heavily in her chest, which was heaving up and down as she watched him lower his head. He hadn’t removed her knickers and she was about to question this when she felt her hips buck forward slightly, a moan escaping her lips. He had pressed his lips just at her center, teasing his tongue over the damp fabric of her panties. Tendrils of pleasure began to unfurl in the pit of her stomach and her thighs began to tingle.

            The soft black strands of his hair were brushed back behind his ears, but tickled the sensitive insides of her legs as he slowly began to mouth kisses against the now soaked cotton of her knickers; his eyes glancing up from time to time to gauge her reaction. Already he could see a slight trickle of sweat forming just on her brow, her breasts, though restrained within her shirt, heaving heavily up and down as he simply teased her through the fabric.

            “You’ll want to lean back,” he whispered, purposefully keeping his lips pressed against the crotch of her panties, watching as she trembled, the vibrations of his voice affecting her quite nicely. He hardly had a moment to wait before she was leaning back against the window, her body scooted slightly further forward, legs dangling on either side of him over the counter’s edge. He noted that both of her hands gripped the counter ledge tightly, already her knuckles were white. Severus slowly pulled his tongue back from the cloth of her knickers, pausing a moment as he exhaled against her, shifting his head slightly to her inner thigh.

            The response he elicited from her was delicious. The soft moan, the tremble in her thighs, the way her hips jerked forward again; all from placing his lips at the slight bit of exposed flesh where her leg met her torso. That sensitive juncture of skin became the soul focus of his attention as he began to lave his tongue in slow wide strokes up and down, brushing the edge of her panties; his cheek leaning against her cloth covered sex. He could feel her trembling; the way her breath hitched every time he pulled his tongue away and paused, deep even steady puffs of breath exhaling on her wet skin.

            He slowly drew his fingers up to the elastic, pausing as she whimpered at his touch. “Quite responsive,” he said as he curled the tips of his fingers into the band of her panties, slowly tugging them away from her sex. Hermione needed no coaxing to lift her bottom so that he could pull them all the way off. Her sex was dripping; slick and heated from his teasing and already she could feel her core throbbing with need.

            Shifting slightly forward on the chair he brought both hands to press at the insides of her thighs, pushing them further apart to spread her beautiful sex out fully before his eyes. While the products they had tested earlier had been responsible for her freshly smoothed sex, he had not properly allowed himself to look at her beyond what was reasonable. Now his eyes were drinking in every inch of her; the way her pink lips were swollen and parted slightly, the slickness of her arousal glittering in the dull light of his kitchen.

            Hermione trembled as he lowered his head, letting his lips hover just over her entrance for a moment before she screamed, unable to help herself as he drew his tongue in a slow sweeping stroke up from just below her entrance to the top of her mound and down again, pausing at the hood that covered her sensitive bud. His tongue slithered out between his lips and began to nudge at the tiny stiffened peak, coaxing it forward from beneath the fleshy hood. Each flick of the tip of his tongue against her clitoris elicited a sharp intake of breath or piercingly clipped shriek of her voice.

            Severus pressed his lips together, gently suckling them around her clit, feeling her hips jerk forward before he trailed open mouthed kisses down over her lips, pulling them, nipping them softly with his lips, his tongue swirling over her entrance. She tasted sweet; heady and musky with a hint of natural sweetness to her, not unpleasant in the least. And she was beyond wet; wetter still than he had felt her that afternoon when he’d pressed his hand to her sex to determine how smooth she had felt after being inadvertently sheered of her pubic hair.

            Her eyelids were fluttering as she felt each sensation as if it were magnified a thousand times against her sex. The way his tongue stroked her; warm like a velvety snake with its own mind, slithering over her most intimate parts, circling around her sensitive clitoris; making her writhe and wriggle at his ministrations. She could feel each hot sticky breath as he exhaled, making her body tingle all the more, every nerve in her spine jolting up on edge as she arched her back, her head pressing hard against the windowpane, certain that she might shatter it. A tense heat was building in her core and she could feel herself tittering on that edge.

            Never before had she felt herself so close to an orgasm so quickly; not at her own hand and certainly not from the ridiculous fumbling that Ronald Weasley had called sex. All it had taken was a few good laps of Severus Snape’s tongue; she shuddered as her mind began to slip away once more, too entangled in his pleasurable ministrations between her legs; that sharp serpent’s tongue giving her such pleasure that she moaned.

            “Hmm,” he mumbled against her quivering vaginal lips, hearing her moan. “Very sensitive,” he whispered more to himself than to her and gently brought his lips around her clit once more, sucking hard as he flicked the tip of his tongue against the stiff bud, daring to drag his teeth across it once more. It earned him a second more throaty moan and his lips curled into a slight smirk. Slowly he pulled his head back, gazing up at her.

            It took Hermione several seconds, with her hips still idly jerking forward, to realize that he’d stopped his delicious licking of her sex. Her eyes flew open, her chest still heaving, breath still coming in short bursts as she looked at him with panic searing across her face. “Why did you stop?” she whimpered, barely coherent.

            His eyes glittered with a bright smugness that radiated across his face as he slowly sat back in the chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve done what you asked of me, Miss Granger,” he said very coolly, watching her cheeks flush as he spoke. “Allowed you to feel the pleasures of another’s tongue and lips between your legs,” he said simply. “Was it not adequate?” he mocked, “Do you not believe you shall be able to test Weasley’s toy tomorrow given the experience you’ve just received?”

            She was burning with embarrassment, and even hotter with nearly-there arousal. But her stomach flipped in knots at the thought of begging or pleading with him to not leave her in her current state. She couldn’t draw her thighs together properly without awkwardly moving her feet up over his knees, for although he’d sat back in the chair he was still quite close to her. Hermione was stuck with her legs splayed open, dripping and swollen, her sex desperate to once again feel his coaxing tongue that had brought her so close to the edge and this burning desire caused her to flush even more.

            Severus continued to stare at her; his eyes not deviating from her own wide brown ones, his arms still crossed firmly over his chest. After another moment of her flabbergasted silence he stood from the chair and placed both hands on the top of her thighs. “I shall leave you to dress then,” he said, pulling his hands back as quickly as he’d placed them there and without another word he swept from the small kitchen into a part of the house unseen.

            Hermione was trembling as she slid down from the counter; half tempted to thrust her fingers between her legs and finish herself she was that close. But thinking better of it, as the last thing she needed was for him to taunt her over discovering her masturbating in his kitchen, she quickly picked up her knickers and slid them on, jumping into her jeans just as fast, and toeing on her shoes before he could return to mock her.

            Her legs were sticky and she longed for stimulation between them, the burning in her belly not having entirely abated. She ran both hands through her hair, wincing at how stiff her knuckles had become from so fiercely gripping the ledge of his counter. Hermione sighed; she knew that it had been foolish to seek him out for such a thing, but at least come the morrow she would be able to tell George Weasley that she could test his Lip-n-Tongue Liberator.

            She was about to walk from his kitchen when he reappeared in the entryway nodding at her now dressed figure. She said nothing, not knowing if there really was anything to say. She couldn’t very well chastise him for not finishing her off, she supposed she should have been lucky that he had been willing to do what he had done for her, though she supposed such a thing warranted a thank you. She just wasn’t sure how one thanked someone for services rendered that were mostly incomplete. So Hermione said nothing and simply nodded her head at him in return.

            Severus stepped back, her cue to follow, and she did, moving through the tiny sitting room to the door. The wind was no less fierce than when she had arrived. Standing in his doorway looking out onto the darkened street she sighed. Hermione turned over her shoulder to look at him. He was gazing at her curiously and then raised an eyebrow up on his forehead as he caught her gaze. “Yes?” he asked, knowing all too well the look in her eyes. It meant that she had questions.

            “What about…” she trailed off. Could she really bring herself to say it? Thinking for a moment she decided that asking her next question was far less humiliating than what she’d just experienced. “A blow job?” she whispered, her voice almost whisked away on the night wind.

            Severus scoffed, the sound more of a derisive snort than anything else. “Despite your woeful inexperience, Miss Granger, over the years I have had my share and do not find myself lacking,” he said simply, though he did nothing to hide the slight smirk that crossed his lips.

            His answer brought another crimson stain to her cheeks as she quickly shook her head. “I mean what if he wants us to test something that involves…well…that,” she said hastily.

            “What of it?” he asked, and then seeing her look away he rolled his eyes. “Merlin, you are pathetic,” he muttered and then crossed his arms over his chest. “Let us worry about that when and if it is presented to us,” he said taking a step back in to his house. He did not wait for her to protest or insist that she receive a second lesson before he nodded to her once more. “Goodnight, Miss Granger,” he said and then promptly closed the door, leaving her alone on his stoop.

~*~

            Her day had been a busy one. She’d forced it to be. Anything to take her mind off of what she’d done the night before. Not just testing products for George Weasley’s shop; that she had come to accept, but seeking out Severus Snape for experience, that had made her skin crawl all through the night. And only partly due to her embarrassment, more so because he’d left her lingering on the edge of pleasure. She had crashed at Ginny and Harry’s that night and was not about to attempt fingering herself in their guest room, which had only caused her further frustration.

            She’d visited The Burrow for lunch, popped in on Bill and Fleur in the early afternoon and spent the remainder of the day in a muggle coffee shop not too far from Diagon Alley. When five thirty rolled around she was on her way through the back room of The Leaky Cauldron and slipped into Diagon Alley seeing some of the last of the day’s stragglers milling about heading to The Cauldron and a few of the other pubs; many winding their way toward Knockturne Alley.

            Hermione made her way to the joke shop just as George was flipping the sign. “Ah, you’re here,” he said holding the door open for her. “I wanted to have a word with you before we started tonight—”

            “I can test it.” She blurted out.

            “What?” George asked, tilting his head to the side.

            “I can test it. The Lip-n-Tongue toy, I don’t want you to give me the sack— I can test it now,” she said.

            George stared at her for a moment and then burst into a deep guffaw. “Right!” he said and then wrapped his arm around her shoulder like a big brother would as he locked the front door to the shop and guided her through to the staircase. “I mean— I hadn’t planned on giving you the sack today,” he teased. “But I was going to suggest perhaps seeing a friend of mine about solving your erm…well, no matter, you’ve taken care of it, which is great— erm, for business,” he said and then shook his head. “Snape’s already up there, I’ll be up in a moment, just need to grab the register,” he said.

            It was a relief to hear that she was not going to be sacked, but that relief fled her when George mentioned her co-worker’s name. She knew he would be there; he was never late for anything. And she hadn’t been late, just exactly down to the second on time. Making her way halfway up the staircase to the door of the lab, she ducked in and found him standing by the table where they had worked yesterday.

            “Hello,” she said, trying to be polite. He said nothing. But he did turn to acknowledge her, a simple nod before he turned his eyes back to the plethora of product that George had laid out on the table. “Right then,” she said and made her way over to him, standing silently waiting for George to come upstairs.

            The redhead only kept them waiting for a few moments, before he arrived, swirling his wand over the register, setting it to count itself as he came over to the table. “Right,” he said and nodded to them both. “Sorry to have kept you waiting,” he said and then sat down on his stool, flipping open the ledger and the green book. “Erm, let’s see,” he said, jumping right into things. “You said you can test the Lip-n-Tongue Liberator, now, yes?” he asked Hermione, eyes never leaving the book as he frantically flipped through its pages, trying to locate the notes on it.

            “Yes,” she said quietly, blushing a bit. She refused to look at Severus then, for fear he might smirk at her. “Is it—”

            “Here,” George said, standing and pulling it from the drawer he had found it in the day before. “If you’ll just hop up on the table, drop your knickers…and give it a go,” he said and then dipped his quill into the pot of ink. Hermione took the toy in her hand, it was small enough to conceal in her palm. Her nerves were getting the better of her, but she tried her best not to let it show as she slowly slid out of her skirt, letting it fall around her ankles before she stepped out of it.

            She turned to Severus. “Hold this, please,” she said and handed him the small toy as she put both hands on her knickers and carefully pulled them down. Setting them on the edge of the table, she climbed up on it, and then slid her whole body back until she was laying across the cool marble surface. “George, can I have a pillow?” she asked, her voice quaking just slightly.

            “What?” he asked looking up at her. “Oh, right, um…Severus, would you transfigure her skirt or something I don’t think I have a pillow up here, maybe in the flat or down in the shop, but the ones in the shop probably fart or turn to rocks or some such,” he said with his lopsided grin.

            Nodding in silence Severus bent and retrieved her skirt from the floor. Withdrawing his wand from his trousers he waved it quickly and muttered under his breath and in a moment he held a denim pillow in his hands. Sliding it across the table, he waited for Hermione to lift her head before placing it beneath her neck. He stepped back from the table and watched as she spread her legs slightly and pulled them up so that her knees were pointed, feet flat on the marble surface.

            “How do you turn it on, George?” she asked, leaning up slightly to look at the toy.

            “Little switch on the back,” he said scribbling in his notebook once more.

            “Right,” she said. Hermione’s fingers trembled as she held the toy in her palm and brought it between her legs. With a flick of her thumb against the switch she stared at it for a moment as it laid completely still in her hand. “Does it need— ooh!” she cried. The lips suddenly jolted to life, smacking against one another, a long wet tongue licking them before the slid out of her hand and began to hover just over her sex. “Ooh goodness,” she whimpered, watching them as they hovered of their own accord.

            Before she could make a comment of any kind the lips had pressed against her inner thigh and began to trail kisses against her flesh. She whimpered; they felt, for all intents and purposes like real lips, with an actual tongue moving against her skin. She closed her eyes and for a moment she was certain that it was Severus between her legs once more. Her hips bucked as the lips closed over her labia, suckling them and mouthing closed against her inner lips, as if to kiss her entrance. Her breasts were heaving through her shirt as she arched her hips against the lips again, this time feeling the tongue sliding against her clit. “Oooh gods,” she whimpered softly.

            Hermione could feel that familiar burning filling her loins; that eager sensation that was bringing her closer and closer to the edge as the magical enchanted lips worked their magic. They were bringing her closer and closer to completion, but for as delicious as it felt, something was missing. “S-something’s…oooh,” she moaned, rolling her hips as the lips closed around her clit. And then she shrieked, “Ooaah!”

            The tongue had slipped its hot velvety length into her slit, probing her insides with rapid strokes. He certainly didn’t do that! Her mind was reeling as she felt this new sensation, the lips working frantically around her labia, the tongue pulling out, once again circling, swirling and flicking at her clit. She could feel her walls tightening, her toes beginning to curl; but still there was something missing.

            “Something what, Hermione?” George asked, turning his head up every now and again to watch her as she used the toy to bring herself closer and closer. “Not strong enough? Isn’t it working?” he asked with a frown.

            “N-no it’s not…aahh,” she moaned, again her hips rolling to meet the wild flickers of the fake tongue. “It’s just— m-missing…aauh!” she cried, feeling a little spasm shoot through her. Seeming to sense her impending climax the toy clamped its lips around her clit and began to suck while licking the swollen bud mercilessly. Hermione trembled, her body quaking hard as she came; toes curling up tightly, her chest heaving hard.

            After a moment her orgasm had passed, but the lips continued to suck and lick, to the point of being so pleasurable it was painful. Gripping the back of the toy she wrenched them free of her body and immediately forced her legs closed, still panting. “Turnit…off…” she panted, tossing the toy at Severus.

            His reflexes were quick as he caught the still moving toy, that continued to lick and slurp at the air and his fingers as he flipped the switch, causing the toy to fall lifelessly into his palm. He placed it on the marble table beside her, and then gently lifted her head with his hand, pulling the pillow out from beneath her before letting it fall back into being her skirt. Severus draped the material over her sex, covering her somewhat, and she nodded, taking another full moment to gain her breath before speaking.

            “It’s missing something,” she said.

            Both George and Severus looked at her curiously. “What? What’s it missing?” George asked incredulously. “From the way you were moaning it sounds like it works just fine,” he said with a bit of a grin.

            Hermione blushed as she sat up, thankful that she had not gotten completely naked to test the toy. “It works fine,” she said and then shifted slightly, her thighs now sticky from her orgasm. “But you said to compare it to the real thing…and yes, it feels like a very talented pair of lips and tongue…but something is missing, I can’t put my finger on it,” she shook her head and then slowly slid down from the table. Picking up a cloth from the edge of the table she muttered a cleansing spell and then wiped herself off before sliding her knickers back on. There was no sense in putting her skirt back on as it was only likely to come off again.

            “Huh,” George said, his attention turned once more to the ledger where his quill was flying furiously across the parchment.

            “If I figure out what it’s missing, I’ll let you know, George, I just can’t for the life of me figure out what,” she said and then turned to face Severus, silently questioning him.

            He shrugged his shoulders. Whatever it was missing he had no idea, but as she sighed, a smirk curled across his lips. He took three steps toward her, closing the distance between them. “You’ve a string of something in your hair,” he said. Severus leaned over her shoulder, brushing his hand through her hair, and as he did, he leaned his lips against her ear and slowly, purposefully exhaled.

            Hermione shivered. “Ooh,” she felt the shiver travel down her spine and straight to her core, making her legs tremble. She quickly scrambled back from him, watching the smirk on his face quickly dissolve into his stoic mask of neutrality. “It’s breath,” she whispered, her own voice a breathy gasp. “It’s missing breathing, George…it feels like a real tongue with lips except…when someone’s…down there…you can feel their hot…soft…breath,” she said and then shook her head, trying not to sound like a wanton tart.

            “Oh,” said George and then he stood from the stool and picked up the toy. “Well that’s going to be a challenge,” he said, and sprayed the toy with a bottle of cleaner before tossing it back into the drawer. “Brilliant, Hermione, I knew with your mind you’d know how to perfect it,” he said and then nodded to the table. “I’ve got a few more products geared toward mutual stimulation today,” he said and then broke out into a grin. “But first— I was up all night working on these,” he said and raced halfway across the workshop returning a moment later with four white boxes.

            “What are those?” she asked.

            “Open them up,” he grinned, setting them down on the table in front of her.

            Hermione popped the first white box open and pulled out a pot of bright green cream. “You’ve got them marketed!” she grinned, turning the pot of Emerald Isle Nipple Cream over in her hands. “No flavor?” she asked, spinning it around to read the label on the back.

            “Not in that one, Severus was right, it was practically perfect the way it was,” he said. “But I’d like you two to test the finished product just the same, if it passes inspection it will be the first novelty ready for sale in the Wanton Wizard Wheezes line,” he smirked.

            “That’s what you’re calling the line?” she giggled and then quickly unscrewed the top of the pot before handing it to Severus. “Let’s try it then,” she said all too eagerly. But she could hardly help being excited over the success of his new products.

            Severus stared at her for a long moment. “Eager as you are, you’ve forgotten a few necessary steps,” he said.

            Hermione looked at him dumbly for a moment and then her eyes widened. “Oh! Right!” she said, blushing once more. Her arms were quick as she pulled her shirt over her chest and then slid out of her bra, exposing her breasts to him. “Cross your fingers, George,” she turned her head over her shoulder to grin at the redhead, but he was already scribbling notes in the ledger.

            Severus had stepped forward, dipping his finger into the pot. “It feels slightly more like mousse,” he noted and then began to work the vibrant emerald cream into her nipple. Just as it did before the coloring blended right in, fully coloring her nipple and areola. “Looks the same,” he said and then gently brought his hand up to cup her breast. Hermione bit her lower lip as she watched him bow his head, and gingerly suck her nipple between his lips, licking the stiffened bud just as he had before.

            And just as he had before a moment later he pulled back, giving a satisfactory nod. “No taste, just her,” he said. “And the coloring is staying,” he said.

            “Great!” George grinned. “Now open that second box, and put that one on her opposite nipple,” he said.

            Severus picked up the second box and withdrew a pot of green that looked almost identical to the first pot except mixed into the green mousse were vibrant black swirls. “Emerald Isle Swirl…now with flavor,” he said and pursed his lips. “What flavor?” he asked.

            “You tell me,” George grinned and gazed at him, eagerly awaiting to see how well his clever augmentation to the product really was.

            Prodding his finger into the mousse, being sure to catch a bit of the shimmery black swirl, he brought the product to her right nipple and began to mix it in. The swirl of black did not bleed through the green, creating a little mini swirl that rippled across the area of her areola. “Intriguing,” he said before placing the pot down on the marble table. Slowly he lowered his head once more, gently stroking the flat of his tongue over her nipple.

            Hermione could feel the bud taut against his tongue, the moan that threatened to leave her throat held back only as she dug her canines down hard into the petal of her lower lip. He was licking her areola now, clockwise and then counterclockwise, laving his tongue up and down over her nipple, suckling the pebbled flesh into his mouth, as if trying to suck the coloration right off of her.

            After an agonizing moment of repressed pleasure and much to Hermione’s relief and chagrin, he finally released his lips from around her nipple, pulling back and staring at George. “An aphrodisiac?” he questioned. “Rather clever,” he said.

            “What’s it taste like?” she asked, wanting to know what it was that had kept him so attentive at her breast.

            “Chocolate,” they said in unison, George smiling at Severus as he did.

            “You like it then?” he asked.

            “It is a flavor that stimulates arousal,” Severus said, keeping his voice neutral. “Given what its being used for I would say a great many men will enjoy it, and the color is deceptive, which helps to disorient the senses, making the chocolate flavor that much stronger.”

            “Excellent!” George cried, making note after note in his ledger. “Use the spray and then you can do one of each on her nipple of the other two, just to speed things along,” he said. “I solidified the gold so that it was less glittery and more color, and I scrapped the flavor, since you mentioned the green one did well enough without it. And I tried something entirely new in that fourth box,” he said.

            Hermione had picked up the solvent and had wiped both nipples clean, though she could hardly deny the arousal was once again building between her thighs. She tried not to lick her lips as she watched him open the third and fourth box. He repeated the process as applying the gold to her left nipple and after a moment she looked as if she’d been touched by Midas, at least over her areola and pebbled bud.

            “It does look rather bright,” Severus commented, only licking her nipple once to ensure that there was no flavor. “But if it’s the novelty aspect you’re after, you have it with this odd metallic color,” he shrugged and then turned his attention to the final pot. It was a bright pink; looking a bit like someone had electrocuted bubble gum. “Pink?” he frowned.

            “Pink with flavor,” George said.

            Two fingers gathered up the fluorescent mousse and rubbed it into her nipple. “Oh,” she said as he began to massage it into her skin. “I can smell that from here, bubble gum, George?” she asked.

            “I hope that doesn’t mean the taste is too strong,” he muttered making a note in the ledger.

            Severus rolled his eyes. “I detest bubble gum,” he muttered and then carefully lifted her breast with his hand, cupping it more firmly than he had the first time. Her mind was driving her wild as she swore he squeezed her breast slightly before brushing his lips against her nipple. She watched as he closed his eyes. Had he closed them before? She couldn’t be certain but she was pretty positive that his eyes had previously remained open when tasting the various color crèmes on her nipple. “Exactly like bubble gum,” he muttered as he drew his tongue around her tiny stiffened peak.

            “It’s a popular flavor,” she whispered, unconsciously arching her chest forward slightly. If he noticed he did not mention. Severus continued to suckle at her nipple for a moment, trying to determine if the flavor would fade or become less intense.

            He pulled back, his lips making a soft ‘pop’ sound as they released her nipple. “It is strongly flavored. You need to cleverly phrase it in such a way that the public are aware that it is the most intensely strong piece of bubble gum they’ve ever tasted,” he said simply and then eyed the table, waiting for Hermione to clean herself and toss her shirt on, or at the very least, cross her arms over her chest.

            “What’s next?” she heard herself ask, turning to face George, breasts still exposed, one golden nipple and one neon pink one standing stiff and straining against the cool workshop air.

            “Next?” George stood from his stool and walked over to a small little bundle of plastic, carefully unwrapping it. “These,” he said and pointed to what looked like a handful of little plastic shiny stones no bigger than pebbles laying against the slightly crinkled plastic. “Tongue Tinglers,” he said. “Or Tingling Tongue Toffee, haven’t decided which name I prefer, he’s got both in his notes,” he said.

            “What do they do?” Hermione heard herself asking a question again, wondering where her bold streak had come from.

            “Essentially you put one in your mouth, suck on it, let it sit on your tongue, within a minute it dissolves, and it’s supposed to light up your tongue with little sizzling tingling vibrations,” he said.

            Hermione frowned. “What for?” she asked.

            George chuckled. “Any number of things, I suppose. Spicier kissing…pleasing your lover as you run your tongue over his body or he yours, oral sex, among other things,” he said. “They don’t last very long, according to the notes,” he shrugged. “I want to know what they taste like- nobody’s going to want to hold something on their tongue for a minute or so if it taste disgusting, regardless of what pleasures it might bring their partner.”

            “Right,” she said and slowly picked up a shiny green one. “Colored just for the hell of it?”

            “As far as I can tell,” he said. “You start, Hermione. And then Severus can try one and then after they’ve faded you can both do one together,” he said. “See how they affect each other and what not,” he said.

            “Well, here goes then,” she said and without further ado she popped the little green pebble into her mouth.

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Weasley's Wizard Wheezes