Here Without You | By : articcat621 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Sirius/Hermione Views: 7300 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Hp, and I'm not making any sort of money from this! |
Hermione woke up. She was in pain, but she couldn't remember why. She couldn't bring herself to open her eyes, so she snuggled further into the arms that were holding her. "Mmmmm, Sirius," she muttered. The arms that held her started to shake her, "Hermione, are you awake?" Hermione didn't respond. Something wasn't right. She finally opened her eyes to see Ginny staring down at her, her tear stained face full of concern.
That's when it hit her. She felt a wave of emotion wash over her, knocking the breath out of body. Her eyes immediately began to tear up. "No..." Ginny pulled Hermione closer, sensing that she was starting to hyperventilate. "Hermione, it's alright, everything is going to be alright." Hermione tried to push her away. "No Ginny, it's not alright, it will never be." Ginny just held onto Hermione. "I'll be right back; I have to tell Madame Pomfrey that you're awake." Ginny got off the bed and walked to the nurse's office.
Hermione looked around, realizing she was in the Hospital Wing. She hurt, badly. Emotionally and physically. She tried to sit up but found she couldn't. She looked at her shoulder and saw the blood begin to seep through the bandages. Her head hurt, just as much as her heart.
Hermione's thoughts went straight to Sirius. She missed him so much already. Ginny was the only one who knew about their secret relationship, but they had planned on telling everyone at the next Order meeting. They were going to live together after she graduated in the spring. But no, not anymore.
Hermione felt her cheeks grow hot with anger. Bellatrix will pay for what she has done; if it's the last thing I do, she thought to herself. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She heard Madame Pomfrey and Ginny approaching and opened her eyes. "Oh dear, let's change that bandage of yours, and I'll give you something to numb the pain." Hermione nodded and sat up with Ginny's help. As the nurse changed her dressing she spoke to the girls, "It was very brave of you Ms. Granger to take that curse for Ms. Weasley. If only the rest of the world was as brave as you." Hermione smiled, "I'd give my life for her, and she knows that." At this Ginny grabbed Hermione's hand and held onto it tightly. They had been through hell together, and nothing would ever separate them. The nurse left to attend her other patients, leaving the girls alone to talk.
Hermione didn't want to talk about her feelings, not just yet. So she decided to talk about Harry. "Ginny, how is he? I know he loved Sirius like he was his own father." Ginny shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "He won't talk to me, or anyone. He's just so angry, because he believes he is to blame…" Hermione frowned, and Ginny continued, "He went to talk to Dumbledore, and as I walked by I could hear him screaming at the poor old man. I mean, I love Harry, I really do, but Dumbledore was only trying to do what was best. Harry shouldn't treat him that way, especially since Dumbledore has done so much for him." Hermione nodded, "I think everyone will be grieving in their own way." Ginny agreed.
Ginny decided it was time to change the subject, "Well, Hermione, can you believe that you're Head Girl? I'm so proud of you." Hermione nodded, "I'm so glad all my hard work has paid off. Plus, I'm glad I get my own room. I never have to listen to Lavender and the others gossip ever again. It'll be great." Ginny added, "Those girls disgust me. I mean, Lavender practically throws herself at Ron's feet. It's so gross." Hermione giggled half-heartedly.
Ginny left to go to dinner and Hermione tried to sleep to no avail. She just couldn't get the voices out of her head. She knew it wasn't her fault and that there was nothing she could do, but her mind kept replaying the what if game over and over. It was tearing her apart. I can't do this. I'm breaking inside, knowing that I'll never hold him again, kiss him, and tell him that I love him or anything else ever again, Hermione thought before she cried herself to sleep, only to be haunted by nightmares.
Hermione was running, as fast as her legs could carry her. Sirius was standing before her with his arms wide open, but she couldn't reach him. No matter how fast or hard she ran, he was always out of reach. "Why didn't you save me Hermione?" He asked as she kept running, "I tried, I tried, please come back." She replied as she fought back tears and carried on chasing him. "Sirius, please, don't leave me." Hermione pleaded, she was almost near him. "But you couldn't save me. Now I'm gone," he said sadly. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me. Please, don't leave. I need you!" Hermione cried, she was close to him now and as she reached out to grab him, he faded away.
She woke up, feeling hot tears run down her face. She was shaking violently. No, no, no, no, no.
Madame Pomfrey came to her aid, doing her best to soothe her. Hermione wouldn't though, so she gave her a sleeping draught that would make her fall into a deep dreamless slumber. Hermione felt her eyes close, and drifted off.
She awoke the next morning to find Dumbledore sitting beside her in the chair. He smiled down at her, but it was a sad smile, not a happy one. She knew instantly that he knew about her and Sirius. "Hermione, would you mind taking a walk with me?" Hermione nodded. "Is it alright for me to leave the Hospital Wing?" she asked. "Yes, you'll be able to sleep in your own bed tonight." Hermione got up from the bed and followed him out to the grounds. They made their way towards the Lake in silence.
"Hermione, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I know what Sirius meant to you." Hermione looked at the old man, knowing she could tell him the truth now. She gulped, "He was everything. My friend, mentor, and lover…" She trailed off as Dumbledore motioned for her to sit next to him. "It can be a great pain to lose those that we love the most. I have lost all of my family, in one way or another; so I know how you must be feeling." Hermione smiled gently, "Thank you. I just don't know how I'm going to cope. Every fibre of my being wishes he was here right now. My heart is breaking, over and over again." "It'll get easier Hermione." She nodded. If she could, she'd be crying by now but it seemed she didn't have any tears left.
The two of them just sat in silence, enjoying the peace of the outdoors. "We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Hermione, but battle on." And with that, the Headmaster got up and left Hermione to her thoughts.
As she gazed out into the distance, she noticed how beautiful the sun was as it danced on the surface of the lake. He was right. She shouldn't let her life pass her by, but be strong for herself, and strong in memory of Sirius. She knew that was what he would have wanted. She took out her notebook and began scribbling something on it. She was so busy drawing that she didn't hear Harry approach her.
"How dare you Hermione!" Harry shouted. Hermione looked up in shock. "What are you talking about Harry?" She got to her feet. "Don't you dare talk to that traitor Hermione, it's all his fault Sirius is dead. He ruined everything and you have the nerve to talk to him? How dare you!" Hermione's cheeks went a bright crimson. "Harry, that man has done nothing but help you your entire life! He's done nothing wrong!" She retorted, defending Dumbledore. Harry scoffed, "Of course you'd feel that way. You didn't lose anyone important." Hermione was fuming, "Harry, how can you say that? I know exactly how you feel." "No you don't Hermione! Just because you're a stupid know-it-all doesn't mean you know how I feel!"
Hermione felt the tears running down her face. She turned to walk away, but stopped and snapped, "Don't you dare think you are the only one who ever cared about Sirius." Hermione turned and walked away as fast as her legs could carry her.
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