Watch Me | By : Zenerific1 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/James Views: 13398 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe – all recognisable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. |
It had been more than a month since James had told Severus those things, but the Gryffindor had yet to act on it. James spent his time as he usually did, with his friends, or on the Quidditch pitch practicing. Severus wasn’t about to approach the Gryffindor. To him, it spoke of desperation, so he guarded his emotions whenever he was near James. He’d rather die than let the other know just how much it hurt to have the Gryffindor ignore him.
Any time he was in class with James, he kept his head down, his jaw clenched, and his eyes followed every move the man made.
Headmaster Dumbledore had given Sirius clear warning to keep his distance from the Slytherin, so Severus hadn’t seen the mutt unless they were in the combined classes. And even then Sirius kept to the other side of the room, as far from Severus as possible. Severus’ days were easier, since the other Gryffindors had begun to ignore him also, whether it was Sirius’ example or if they didn’t want to face the Headmaster’s wrath also.
Sitting in his last class on Friday, Severus fought to keep his eyes off of James, who stood in front of him as another table. Tomorrow would be their weekly trek to Hogsmeade for fun and relaxation. A trip the Severus rarely made. Having never made friends, he didn’t have anyone to ‘hang out’ with. Oh, Lucius Malfoy had befriended him, but only because he wanted to pass potions, Severus’ best subject. But most of the other Slytherins avoided him, not wanting to draw the attention of the popular Gryffindors and receive the same punishments that Severus was subjected to.
“Oi, Severus,” Lucius was now leaning over to whisper, “are you going into Hogsmeade this weekend?”
“No,” Severus replied, keeping his voice low also.
“Really? That’s too bad.”
“Why?”
“Because I heard that Melva Brandigan, from the Three Twisted Sisters was going to be in Hogsmeade this weekend. In fact, I heard that Slughorn had invited her to one of his parties.”
“So?”
“So!? Are you insane?” Lucius peered at him like he was a roach crawling across the floor. “Melva Brandigan!” Like that explained everything.
Severus knew that the other guys in the Slytherin dorms hung posters of the singer next to their beds—she was always mostly naked in the pictures. Severus wasn’t attracted to the woman. In fact he hadn’t spared any of his female classmates the least bit of attention. He was gay, a fact that he’d always known—like knowing that lima beans not only smelled bad but tasted even worse. It was part of his genetic make-up.
“I just don’t want to go, Lucius.”
“What if I told you that Lazarus Quinn, from the Holy Head Harpies was going to be their also,” Lucius asked shrewdly. The narrowing of his pale eyes made Severus frown.
“Is he going to be there?”
“No.”
“Then what’s the point of asking such a ridiculous question, Lucius?”
“Well, would you go if he was there?”
“Probably not, since I’m not part of Slughorn’s collection.”
“If you were, would you go?”
“Lucius, Severus? Would you like to share what is so urgent that you need to talk in my class when you’re supposed to be stirring a ‘brew of humble pie’?” Slughorn called, with a lift of his caterpillar-like eyebrows. He smiled encouragingly, but his eyes were hard and piercing.
“Sorry, professor, we were just talking about how finely the dragon’s tongue needs to be chopped. Lucius seems to think that a coarse chopping if good enough, where as I feel that a very, fine chop is needed,” Severus spoke quietly.
“Ah, is that all, well it doesn’t have to be very fine, but it does need to be sufficient enough to mix well with the other ingredients.” Slughorn stated, before turning away to write another instruction of the board.
“Good one,” Lucius praised out of the side of his mouth returning to chopping his ingredients up.
Severus didn’t speak. James had turned with the rest of the class and was now smiling a knowing smile at him, which was causing his heart to beat heavily in his chest. James winked at him from behind his glasses before turning back to his own potion.
The rest of the class passed quickly and Severus took his time cleaning up his ingredients, not in any hurry to leave. It wasn’t like he wanted to go back to the dormitory and spend the rest of the evening reading, nor did he have anything else to do. Sighing, he began to shuffle his books and parchment into his bag when a note dropped onto his desk.
Startled, he looked up to meet warm, hazel eyes. James was standing nonchalantly on the opposite side of the table. He jerked his chin in the direction of the note, and Severus picked it up and slowly opened it.
Will you please join me in Hogsmeade tomorrow, at 10:00 a.m.?
Jerking his head back up to look at James, he silently questioned the note, James just quirked an eyebrow at him. Swallowing, Severus nodded, hoping that he wasn’t making another mistake. James’ smile could light up the dimmest basement, and Severus felt his cheeks heat up. James leaned in quickly and placed a quick kiss on Severus’ lips. With a grin, James sauntered out, leaving Severus with his heart hammering in his chest.
*** ***
Severus stepped off the coach in front of the Three Broomsticks, along with everyone else. Lucius shoved him out of the way so that he to disembark too. Stumbling, he felt strong hands on his upper arms, before he was pulled into a hard chest. James glared at the retreating back of Lucius before looking down at Severus.
“Are you alright?” he asked gently.
“Yeah,” Severus nodded, “I’m kind of klutzy, so I’m used to it.”
“That had nothing to do with having two left feet. It was Lucius who shoved you.” James growled.
Feeling giddy and relieved, Severus shrugged. He didn’t want to fight about anything. James was here, in front of him. The man had invited to Hogsmeade on a da—no, to ‘hang out’. Severus reprimanded himself silently, calling himself names for his stupidity.
He tried to step back from James, to put some breathing room between them, but James didn’t let go. The man only pulled him closer, then releasing one arm James tipped Severus chin up. Severus had a hard time meeting James’ eyes but he eventually did.
“No one touches you but me, that is the first rule, Severus,” James roughly demanded. “No one, not Malfoy, not your dorm-mates, not even the teachers. If they do, you will tell me.”
Severus could only stare at James. Never had he seen the man this adamant about anything, not even Quidditch. “I—I don’t understand—,” he began feeling his eyes begin to tear up. He didn’t understand what he’d done to make James this angry.
James’ face softened at Severus’ tears. He closed his eyes for the count of ten before opening them again, the soft warmth that melted away Severus’ cool façade back in place. “Severus, you haven’t done anything wrong. This rule must be followed implicitly, for your safety as well as for my peace of mind. If we do this, I need to know that you are mine completely.”
“I’m not a possession, or a thing, James,” Severus stated. He paled at the words; he’d never stood up for himself, let alone spoken with such disrespect to anyone.
“No, you definitely aren’t a thing, Severus. But I will possess you; your body, your thoughts, your world will belong to me though.” James chuckled, pulling the Slytherin into a hug.
“James, you can’t own me, then that would be slavery, and I’m not a house elf to be following you around, doing your bidding, and cleaning up after you.” Severus sighed, not wanting to move away from the heat that James was radiating.
“Let’s go to The Hog’s Head and talk okay?”
“Why not the Three Broomsticks?”
“Because The Hog’s Head is quieter since most of the students will be at the Three Broomsticks and The Hog’s Head has what I need.”
Severus didn’t really get it but he followed James instead.
The Hog’s Head was indeed quieter, since the students preferred the much warmer and welcoming atmosphere of the Three Broomsticks. There were very few patrons in the bar area and everyone of them ignored everyone else around them. The place was dimly lit even though there was a fire crackling merrily in the huge fireplace on the far side of the room. Tables were scattered around the room but the few patrons were bellied-up to the bar.
“Potter, how old is he?” the bartender asked in a booming bark. Severus jumped and took a hesitant step behind James.
“Aberforth,” James called in greeting ignoring the demand for the moment. “How are you?”
Aberforth glared at James and folded his arms across his massive chest.
James sighed, “This is Severus Snape and he’s sixteen, old enough, correct?”
Severus had no idea what they were talking about. Old enough for what? But Severus didn’t get any answers instead he watched the barkeep nod to them before pouring a couple of butterbeers and sliding them down the bar and into James’ hand. James passed one to him.
“Let’s go sit over by the fireplace,” he said taking Severus’ hand and leading him to a table.
“Severus, have you ever heard of BDSM?” James asked abruptly, causing Severus to choke on the sip he’d just taken from his mug.
“Wh—at?” Severus coughed, tears rising to his eyes.
“BDSM, Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, masochism.”
Severus was speechless, waiting for the punch line. He wanted to look around for Black, expected him to jump out laughing at the stupid expression that must be on Severus’ face. When that didn’t happen, his brain scrambled to catch up. “Ye-yeah, but…,” he trailed off unable to
respond, he could only stare at James.
A small smile curved James lips. “Do you remember what I told you in the hospital?” When Severus nodded, he continued, “I want—no, I need to do all those things and more.”
“You want to t-t-tie me up and wh-whip me?” Severus clarified.
“Yes and a great deal more.”
“What more?”
The smile was gone and an intense stare took its place. James had never looked so serious as he watched Severus for a moment until the younger man squirmed. Reaching into his robes, James withdrew a packet of folded parchment and handed it to Severus. “That lists everything else,” he stated sitting back in his seat and folding his arms across his chest.
Slowly opening it, cautiously smoothing it out, he began reading. After a moment of reading he looked up puzzled, “This reads like a contract.”
“It is. But please finish reading it and then we’ll discuss it.”
Frowning deeply, Severus went back to reading, the further he read, the more horrified he became and his breath shortened. Towards the end there was a list of acts and services and he couldn’t finish. Tossing the papers onto the table, he gasped shaking, fighting to get air into his lungs, but no matter how quickly he gulped in air, he couldn’t stamp down the panic and his vision grayed. He barely registered his chair being pulled back before a hand grasped his neck and shoved his head between his knees.
“Slow down,” a soothing voice whispered into his ear, warm and reassuring, “Be calm and breath, Severus.” Severus didn’t know if it was the words, the loving voice, or the awkward position that made him slow his breathing and he was finally able to draw in enough air to make his chest quit hurting. “Better?”
Severus nodded and the hand disappeared. Straightening, he watched James resume his seat across the table. Grabbing his mug he gulped down the rest of the butterbeer, hoping that he’d find a shred of courage in the heat that travelled to his belly and then outward.
“Y-you w-w-want to…,” he stopped. Nope, the courage hadn’t been in the glass. “I-I can handle a little pain,” he tried again, “b-but I—um—I-I don’t—can’t—,” he quit trying and shoved away from the table feeling like his heart was about the break in two.
“Wait!” James reached out and snagged Severus’ hand stopping him before he could even take a step. Severus knew exactly how quick James was having watched the man play seeker for his Quidditch team for the last 6 years. “Sev, I said we’d discuss it, but I didn’t want to hide anything from my world from you, you had to know what it consisted of right down to the ugly. Everything about it. Then and only then could you make an educated decision about whether you wanted to join me or not. I know what you are like, Sev. I know how much you prize honesty and knowledge, so you had to know even the darkest secrets. So, please, stay and let us talk about this.”
“What’s there to talk about? I…I can’t do all of those things!” He cried, waving a hand at the contract.
“That’s exactly what we need to talk about. So we both can know what can and can’t be done. Not everything in there can or needs to happen. It’s all about what we want to happen and what feels good. Anything further than that is strictly prohibited, but you need to know about the whole of it, so that you don’t think I’m hiding anything from you. I can’t seem to stress this enough. My world isn’t some charmed existence, the darkness in it is scary and ugly but you need to know what it’s like there.” James was so composed in his speech. Severus wanted to run, he didn’t think he wanted to know about the world that James lived in. He’d had enough darkness throughout his young life that he didn’t know if he could survive anymore. But there were other words that James had spoken that drew him in, intrigued him. Something that he’d never felt. You feel safer than you’ve ever felt.
Safety. It was a thing that didn’t exist for him, not even when he occupied the house where is mother lived. How could one feel safe with a parent that ranted and raved at non-existent people, who pulled up roses and lavender to plant belladonna and hemlock.
Swallowing his constant fear and anxiety, he resumed his seat. In his panic he’d felt so many emotions mixed into it. Grief and sorrow among them. He hadn’t wanted to give up on having James eyes on him or his big, warm hands that gently touched him and made him yearn to be held by them. Ducking his head in embarrassment over the scene he was sure that he’d caused, he glances surreptitiously around, but no one was looking at them. Even Aberforth had his back turned and was wiping down glasses with a towel.
“I put up a privacy charm. No one heard anything.”
Severus looked back and James. The man didn’t appear as relaxed and confident as he’d been earlier. He was sitting forward in his chair, perhaps once again ready to stop Severus from running.
“I just—I don’t know…” Severus couldn’t even look at the hated contract that was laid out between them.
“Alright, let’s start at the beginning. This is a general contract between Doms and Subs—,”
“Doms? Subs?” Severus broke in confused…again.
“Doms are people that are dominant in the relationship. Sometimes they are referred to as Master. Subs are submissive, or those that serve the Master, and sometimes referred to as Slaves,” James explained.
“Slaves? Like an actual slave-slave?”
“No,” James grinned. “Though the idea of you being my slave-slave has its appeal. Anyway, a sub plays a roll in the relationship. They are the ones that are tied and spanked, the one that gets fucked, but they also have all the power in the relationship. “
“How can they have all the power if they’re the ones being tied and fucked?” Severus asked trying to wrap his brain around it.
“The sub is the one that can make or break a contract. The sub can stop everything with only a single word. By saying that one word, the dom must stop all actions or he is in breach of the contract and will end up paying a penalty, whether monetarily, or some other compensation that has been named.”
Severus looked completely skeptical and James must have seen it.
“The dom’s roll in the relationship is to make sure that his sub is satisfied.”
“Wait, you just said that the sub gets spanked. How can a spanking or even a whipping be satisfying?”
James eyes closed and his lips curved. “Oh, Sev! To be able to teach you how satisfying a spanking can be!” Hazel eyes opened and centered on him once more, sparkling with an inner fire and…joy? “The whole of the experience must be satisfying to both dom and sub, and it’s the dom’s need to make his sub happy that gives the sub the power. I can’t speak for every dom, but for myself, to see a sub enter into a world I can only dream about, a world that’s created for him—by me, is more satisfying than any orgasm that I’ve ever had.”
Severus snorted.
James cocked his head. “Severus, this world is about trust. If we do this, you are going to have to trust me completely in everything.”
That was what Severus was afraid of most. Trusting James completely. It was scary, terrifying, huge. He’d trusted others only to have the stab him in the back. Literally. He had the knife scar to prove it. He’d know when they’d started talking—even before—that if he was going to do anything with James he’d have to give his trust and he really didn’t know if he could do that again.
“I don’t know, Potter,” Severus mumbled, ducking his head and trying to hide behind his hair. “I don’t think I can.”
Feeling a small tug on his bangs, he looked up startled. James was touching him again. To someone that hadn’t been touched, not even to be given a hug, he felt oddly comforted by James. Being caressed, petted, and stroked was something he doubted that he’d get used to, but having James’ hands on him was almost too good.
“Have you ever had anyone hold you down?” James asked gently.
“No, I…I haven’t been…with anyone…ever.” Severus confessed, feeling even more humiliated. He reached out and grabbed a paper napkin from the holder in front of him. Needing something to do with his hands so that he didn’t have to see James’ derisive face, he began to twist and tear it into tiny pieces.
“You’re a virgin?” James sounded incredulous and…something else.
Severus looked up at a shocked and wide-eyed James. Those eyes searched his face for deception. “I’m sorry,” Severus whispered, “I know it’s stupid, but I—”
“Are you kidding me,” James interrupted.
“W-what?”
“I just—I thought that you and Lucius were…” James sat back and looked at Severus like he was cream and James a cat. “I sorry, but if that’s the case and you are indeed untouched—oh, Severus, I’m so, so pleased with you at the moment.”
Severus felt warmth begin in his belly and radiate outward at the praise, and he thought that he’d do anything for James just to hear it again.
“Well, this changes everything, or at least the perspective. Now that I know that you are a complete innocent, then we’ll have to proceed with caution and negotiate the contract as we go.” James said, enthusiastically.
“There are still a lot of things that I’m never going to want to do,” Severus commented firmly. “I don’t even know what some of those words are.” He waved at the contract.
“It’s okay, Severus. We’ll go slow and if there is anything you don’t understand, well talk about it. I won’t do anything that you haven’t agreed to first, and if you don’t like what we do, you can use the safeword that we’ve established to stop.”
“You sound so sure that this is going to work, but the whole of the Wizarding World is against us. I mean you’re a Gryffindor and I’m a Slytherin.”
James grinned. “Isn’t Dumbledor always preaching about joining together, crossing boundaries?”
Severus snorted, “Yeah, but I’m pretty positive that this isn’t what he meant.”
“So you’ll try?”
Severus resigned himself to the obvious, knowing all along that he’d have done anything that James wanted him to, no matter what he’d asked. He nodded, “I’ll try.”
*** ***
*** ***
A/N: I guess I should let you all know that most of my stories aren’t beta’d, so please forgive the occasional error with spelling and grammar. I will try to give you the best draft I can.
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